Tomorrow will be the first Mother's Day without my mom. It will be different, of course. I always got her a Hallmark card for the big day, and she always fawned over them. "You always get me the most special cards." I will miss her saying that. And I miss her dearly. It just isn't the same.
The following is a post from yesteryear. I think she liked this one and would like it today. So Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Hope things are going well in Heaven. Say hello to the gang and tell them all I will meet up with them one day.
When we first arrive in this crazy world, most moms are there to nurture us. To scold us when we do bad and to praise us when we do good. My mom was no different. The following is an IM conversation we had earlier today. Because she lives many nautical miles from the pond, me and kitty and the family weren't able to make the voyage to visit. And here's hoping she won't mind me sharing this with the world, er, PIC world. "Happy Mother's Day, Mom." "Alan. Is that you? So good to hear from you! How are things in N'awlins?" "Everybody's fine, mom. We've got a big pot of jambalaya simmering on the stove. Kitty's making crawfish pie and filet gumbo as we speak." "How is Briggs? And how are things at H.W.?" "Briggs sends his regards and H.W. is H.W. How are you?" "I'm fine, son. How are the little whiskersnappers, Katlin and Charlie Jr.?" "Katlin is at the mall spending money, as usual. Charlie is perusing the streets on his Harley. He just got a new tattoo. "Fritz, your brother, called a few minutes ago. And sent me a lovely bouquet of flowers. He couldn't talk long-he was on his way to hear Michael Moore speak at the Haight. And then he was off to order Dennis Kucinich's audio tapes at Barnes/Noble." "Still the ultra left winger, eh, Mom." "I'm afraid so, Alan. Poor, Fritz. He hasn't been the same since he fell out of the window onto his head in our old garage apartment back in the day. Yes, those were simpler times. I see you're still trying to engage the identity of pictruandtru. Any luck?" "Well, I've narrowed it down to Dale Brown or Clyde the Glide Malmberg." "I always thought he was Stromile Swift. You have become a bit redundant. Didn't you use that one once before?" "Mom, I can't keep up with all the challenges. Since Hoots has vacated the title of Mr. Archive, it makes my job a lot harder." "I've noticed a lot of spelling and grammatical errors in your posts, lately. And, son, it's eminent domain, not imminent domain." "Mom, you know I'm just a cafeteria manager who worked his way up from prep cook to manager at the enigmatic H.H and H.W." "But me and your dad had such hi-hopes for you. Communal living wasn't a fit for you. I'm sorry." "Don't be sorry, Mom. Even tho apologies are the "in" thing these days. Everything's fine cos we're jammin' at the Potpurri. But here's wishing you the happiest of Mother's Days. I love you!" "I love you, son. And would you please reconsider a wardrobe change. I, er, the world can see your private, er, family jewels." "It's all show biz, Mom. Happy Mother's Day. Farewell and adieu, your son, v.c.
Dear Cat: I have been perusing your column for years but have noticed a paucity of posts lately. What have you been up to? Have you lost your passion for Golden Pond? In other words wherefore art thou? Signed "To be or not to be?"''
Dear R n J: I had to look up paucity on dic.com before I could answer, so ,yes, you are right kemo sabe. What have I been up to? Selling seafood down by the seashore or to be more specific, selling seafood down at the local grocer.
Instead of would you like to make that a super dilly, or would you like fries with your can't see your toes burger, I now utter would you like any shrimp with your order? Or crab legs, or surimi, or crawfish, or scallops-well, you get the drift.
I like working there, because I can do my shtick with the customers. I sometimes tell them I've been on a seafood diet all my life, or I see food differently allah a certain restaurant chain. I even get to sit down for 30 minutes for lunch without having to answer the phone or fielding queries from the staff or rowdy guests. At Hell Whole, my employment venue of 30 years, passive aggressive was a way of life. So, life is good. Perhaps my little niche in this imperfect world has been found.
Thanks for reading my column and for improving my vocabulary-one word at a time, and thanks for the query.
Dear Cat: Sorry to hear your mom passed away. How are you coping? Signed: Mother's Day is this Sunday.
Dear Mom, Mom had a good life of 87 years, but her ticker just gave out. There are many things I miss:
Her telling me when to get a haircut. And when to color my hair. "You look 10 years younger when you cut your hair and color it."
Looking for those weird items in the grocery store that took forever to find. "Can you tell me where the saffron honey cluster clusters are? And the root of cloister?"
Getting giddy when her cumodin ( sp and too lazy to look it up ) level was between 2 n 3.
Eating at the Café Pig which had really good Brunswick stew-excellent brisket and homemade banana pudding.
Missing her period, cos we were joined at the hip. What more can I say?
And thanks for the query.
Dear Cat: I have often thought that life's a ball if only you know it. and it's all just waiting for you. Do you agree? Signed C. Birdie.
Haven't posted anything in a long time. For many reasons. So....
Today is Tax Day. April 15th. And I just sent mine in. Nothing like waiting til the last minute....eh?
The Braves sans Chipper Jones are off to a hot start. 11-1. My mom, one of the hugest of Braves fans, would have loved it. She would have liked the new additions. The Upton brothers and Gattis-not sure from whence he came- among others.
I went to Saturday's night game but had to leave early. Missing the 9th inning comeback. Oh well.
I'm off to work at 2 pm so this will be short.
Farewell and adieu
P.S. I would like to pen a "Dear Cat" in my next foray into the infantile.
I'm still missing my mom. I can't believe she's gone. She was my mom, but also a good friend who was always there for me. Even when the chips were down. We had a lot in common. Perry Mason, Jeopardy, and the Atlanta Braves. I'll miss watching Perry with her and pointing out the Vito Scotti's. the Dabs Greer's, the Harvey Corman's, the Julie Adam's of show business. The obscure actors that only me and film/tv critics would know. I'll miss watching Jeopardy and amazing her when I sometimes answered the final Jeopardy question. "How did you know tasmanian devil was the answer ? I've never even heard of a tasmanian devil," she said. I'll miss explaining the infield fly rule. And the implications of the double switch. And I'll miss her wondering why the Braves "can't hit the ball," and suffering yet another playoff defeat. And I'll miss her affection for Brooks Conrad, Brian McCain, and John Smoltz. Yep. Death is final. That's the hard part.
Still coming to grips with my mom's passing away. I never thought she would die this soon-even at 87-because she was a fighter. I look back now and see the signs. She was frail and had less mobility. I know she's in a better place. The following collage is one I made years ago. Just looked like a neat picture. But one scene is from "Some Like it Hot," a movie mom, sis, and me saw in '59 in L.A. at the Grauman's Chinese Theatre. The one where the stars put their hands and feet in the cement. At that age-8-I wanted to one day live in Los Angeles. I loved the glitz/glamor. And Disneyland and Knotts Berry Farm. I never made it there to live but who knows....
My mom is gone. She passed away Thursday at 4:45 pm. She went peacefully in the hospital. I loved my mom-she was always there for me. I want to say more-write something-a love letter to her, but I am grieving now. I will miss her; there will be a huge void. She was my biggest fan and always encouraged me to write. The following link was one of her favorite stories. I love you, Mom Tell everyone hi in Heaven. Aunt Mad, Grandma Ruby, Granddaddy Pat; Harry, my dad, Aunt Frances, Uncle Gene, Aunt Barbara, and Fred, my stepfather.
I once worked for a company that catered Thanksgiving dinners. We
had it all. Our main feature was a package deal which included " a 10-12
lb. turkey, 2 quarts of cornbread dressing, a quart of turkey gravy,
and a pint of cranberry sauce. The turkeys are cooked now, the dressing
comes in frozen, the cranberry sauce-ditto, and the giblet gravy-yea it
too. Thick as a brick.
I participated in many Thanksgivings-too
many looking back in hindsight-at my old digs. This year I have
determined that I will not work Thanksgiving this year. I will wake up
like most of North America, enjoy a hearty breakfast, watch the
Lions-Packers football game, take a few naps, and then stuff myself like
the poor old turkey lying on the kitchen table.
And this year I
refuse to utter these words: "A 10-12 lb. turkey, 2 quarts of dressing, a
quart of gravy, and a pint of cranberry sauce.
And I refuse to answer the phone. During Thanksgiving at H.W., the aforementioned used to ring off the hook.
And who said you can't teach old cats new tricks.
Gimme shelter, v.c.
I once wrote this foray for Thanksgiving circa 2001. It is reprinted
here with the permission of yours truly. The subject matter was a parody
of an old sit-com and my old company, which was introducing a new
product that year called "universal dressing." And it was truly out of this world.Here it is: Submitted for your approval and perusal:
Leave It To Beaver by: vietnamcatfish (39/M/Golden Pond) 11/26/01 10:58 pm Msg: 3127 of 7432
And Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.
setting is the Cleaver's house at Thanksgiving. Wally has invited his
two friends, Lumpy Rutherford and Eddie Haskell, over for dinner.
had invited his friends Whitey, Gilbert, and Larry Mondello, but they
had made prior plans. They were invited to Miss Rayburn's ( their
principal ) house for T.G.
Scene 1: The participants are seated around the kitchen table. Ward is carving the turkey.
Ward: "Dig in, everyone."
Eddie: "Mrs. Cleaver, this dressing is delicious. You must have slaved all day in the kitchen to cook such a magnificent feast."
June: "You'll never believe this. But all these goodies came from Piccadilly. More giblet gravy, Ward."
Ward: "No thanks, June. Piccadilly, eh? But pass the potato souffle."
Wally: "It's carrot souffle, Dad, and I made it. Mom bought 3 quarts, put it in the oven, and voila. There it is."
Ward: "Now, Wally. There's no such thing as carrot souffle."
Wally: "But, Dad?"
June: "No, it's true, Ward. Wally is the new prep cook at Piccadilly, and he made pots and pots full for T.G."
Ward: "What are you going to do with the money you earn, Wallace?"
"Buy that roadster I've had my eye on. Get it rolled and pleated. Take
Mary Ellen Rogers to the drive-in. And put the rest in the bank for my
Ward: "I'm proud of you, son."
Eddie: "This dressing is so delicious. Another helping, please."
June: "It's called universal dressing, Eddie. And have as much as you want. I bought extra side packs."
Eddie: "It's out of this world, all right. Pass the cranberry sauce, please!"
June: "I'm afraid it hasn't thawed. It was frozen when I picked it up."
All: Laugh nervously.
Lumpy: "Huh. I've never heard of frozen cranberry sauce."
Wally: "Knock it off, Lumpy."
June: "Who's ready for peach cobbler?"
End of scene 1 Scene 2: Wally, Beav, Eddie, and Lumpy retire to the kid's room.
Eddie: Man, that dressing was the pits. And the giblet gravy was lumpier than Lumpy."
Wally: "Knock it off, Eddie."
Beaver: "Yeah, Eddie."
Eddie: "Pipe down, squirt."
suddenly remembers he has to be at Miss Lander's house. She wants the
recipe for carrot souffle. She found out that he was the new prep cook
Wally leaves his friends. Eddie and Lumpy rush out
of the house. They almost knock over June and Ward, who are standing
near the bottom of the stairs.
June: "Beaver, where did Wally go?"
Beaver: "Miss Landers house."
June: "Beaver, what about Eddie and Lumpy?"
"Eddie and Lumpy are going to Piccadilly. To apply for a job, or
something. They want to show Miss Landers how to make universal
photo of a receipt from a restaurant posted on a blogger site has spread
across the Internet on Thursday after a "single mom" didn't leave a tip
on her $138 tab, the Huffington Post reports.
receipt shows a charge for $138.35 and instead of leaving a tip, the
note reads "single mom sorry," possibly implying the person didn't have
enough money for a tip. The picture was originally posted to Reddit.
The Carolina Panthers beat the Redskins in Washington on Sunday,
which should translate into a win for Mitt Romney on Election Day, if
history is any indication.
How do we figure? It's the remarkably accurate Redskins Rule that forecasts the result of presidential elections.
Here's what the Redskins Rule means: If the Redskins win their last
home game before the presidential election, then the incumbent party
retains the White House. If the Redskins lose, then the incumbent party
is voted out.
The Redskins Rule has been correct 17 of 18 times.
The Panthers, who entered Sunday with a five-game losing streak, won
21-13 at FedEx Field thanks in part to four sacks of Redskins
quarterback Robert Griffin III.
The rule traces all the way back to 1940, the first presidential
election year in which the Redskins were playing in Washington. But it
wasn't discovered until 2000 when Steve Hirdt of the Elias Sports Bureau
was doing research in advance of the Monday Night Football game between
the Redskins and Titans in Washington a week before the election.
The only exception has been 2004 when the Redskins lost to the
Packers. According to the rule, that meant incumbent president George W.
Bush should've lost the election to John Kerry. But after Bush won, Hirdt fine-tuned the language of the rule to account for this blip. But even without the revision, a 94.4 percent success rate is difficult to ignore.
Pascual Perez has died in the Dominican Republic. Due to an apparent robbery. And a knife wound to the heart. Just as a segue, a friend of mine calls the region the Dom-i-nican Republic. Anyway, Pascual gained notoriety as an Atlanta Brave, when on a scheduled start he missed the Fulton County exit and traveled the length of I-285 which circles Hotlanta. Some 66 miles. He even changed his jersey name to I-285, allah Chad Ochocinco. 30 years ago. Pascual played for the Braves during the Joe Torre regime. He was a good pitcher but never realized much success. This story is just a sideline due to the disaster in New York but still a tragedy.
For residents of Buffalo, New York, where I was born, true Buffalo wings
come only from Frank and Teressa's Anchor Bar, where owner Teressa
Bellissimo invented the dish in 1964. There, wings are fried, then
tossed in a combination of melted margarine and hot sauce. Today, the
Anchor Bar serves 2,000 pounds of wings each day. -Denise Mickelsen,
from "Wings of Desire" (April 2006)
This recipe is part of a collection. See all 150 classic recipes every cook should know »
Peanut oil, for frying
4 lb. chicken wings (about 40), separated into 2 pieces, wing tips removed, rinsed
12 tbsp. margarine
1 cup hot sauce, preferably Frank's Red Hot Original Cayenne Pepper Sauce
1 ⅓ cups chunky blue cheese dressing
4 ribs celery, halved lengthwise, then cut crosswise into 3″ sticks
1. Heat oven to 200°. Pour oil to a depth of 2″ in a 6-qt. Dutch oven,
and heat over medium heat until a deep-fry thermometer reads 350°. Dry
wings thoroughly with paper towels, and working in batches, fry wings
until golden brown, about 12 minutes. Transfer wings to a wire rack set
over a baking sheet, and place in oven to keep warm until all wings are
2. Heat margarine in a 12″ deep-sided skillet over medium heat; stir in
hot sauce until smooth. Add wings, and toss until completely coated.
Serve wings in a large bowl with dressing and celery on the side.
P.S. I would love to go there. Wow! 2000 lbs. a day!?
My favorite sci-fi movie is, of course, "The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad." Not Star Wars; Invasion of the Body Snatchers;" The Carrot, er, Thing from Outer Space. Etc. My Aunt Mad used to round me up, and we would head to the Twin Starlight on Moreland Ave, a drive-in, of course. There's something enchanting, magical, and mystical about the movie. High adventures on the seven seas. With the obligatory bad guy, in this case an evil magician. And a beautiful damsel in distress. And a boy genie, who could be beckoned by rubbing the magic lamp and uttering: From the land beyond beyond. From the land past hope and fear. I bid you genie now appear. There's also the fire breathing dragon; a mutinous crew; a two headed giant eagle; and a sword fight to the death between Sinbad and a skeleton; and the two one-eyed cyclops. What intrigue! What fun! What excitement for a little boy-me-who first saw the flick at sa tender age of 7 or 8. Thanks to Ray Harryhausen who created the special effects; to Bernard Herrman with the musical score; and to Aunt Mad who would take me to the Starlight. I must have seen it 4 or 5 times.
I'm still bummed-a 220 foot infield fly rule invoked during the wild card fiasco i,e, one game for all the marbles. Shoulda been bases loaded with Brian McCann lumbering to the plate with a chance to tie or put the Braves ahead.
Because of the bonehead call, we'll never know what might have happened. Instead of bags juiced and one out, it became runners at second and third and two outs. McCann was pitched around and walked, and Michael Bourn struck out.
It was quite a game, however. And the barrage of beer bottles accounted for a 19 minute intermission and loads of fun.
Cos it's one, two, three strikes yer out at the old ball game. Except that diamonds are forever. And my memory of this game will never be forgotten. Perhaps, Jess,my son and his girlfriend, Heather, will fondly recall the game at some point in their young lives, as they were my guests.
Cos it's root root root for the home team....but diamonds are forever.