Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Dear Friend

Dear Blog: How have you been, old friend? Missed you. Like the flower needs the rain.

I once was obsessed with daily postings. But the fire is lacking. Perhaps if I could post pictures as in the old days it would be a start towards engagement.

The election for the presidency is in full swing. It's Trump vs. Cruz. And Hillary vs. Bernie. Feel the Bern is the popular campaign slogan for Mr. Sanders.

Trump is compared to Hitler.

Hillary is thought to be a liar. And her association with Bill doesn't help.

And there's the conspiracy theories of rigged elections.

Well, old friend. Time to go. See you next time, eh?

Saturday, November 21, 2015

2015. Where did the time go?

Hello World,

I am alive and well and miss my blog of 10 plus years. 2016 is knocking on the door. Thanksgiving is nearing and Christmas as well.

Starbucks has infuriated some of the faithful by discontinuing its Christmas cup.

Syrians want to come into the country.

Climate change is still a hot topic.

Gun control. Ditto.

The presidential race is heating up.

Bernie and Hillary are going at it.

Trump and Carson. ditto

I can't get into the left wing propaganda. Right wing. ditto.

Life's too short, eh?

I've got a poker tournament today. So life is good!

Hello. goodbye. Ditto.

Over and out.

Wednesday, April 01, 2015

"What's It All About, Alfie?"

Well, here we go again. Where it stops nobody knows.

I recently won the "Tournament of Champions" poker tournament at GPN. Out of 16 contestants even though 24 were invited I was victorious. $250.00 was the prize plus the recognition. A 250 point bounty follows me throughout the year. And I'm not obligated to buy food at the venues to receive a chip up.

Last Friday I won the deepstack tournament at YKnots. Around 60 participants. It was the craziest and wildest games I've ever been associated with. Drunks and drama. And me, basically, a teetotaler. ( thank you spellcheck ). It became a showdown between me and Tom and Kristen, who was drunk as a coot. 

Tom knocked out Kristen so it became heads up. Several hands later I attempted to bluff with a 2 and a nine. All in. Tom had two pair, but I hit a straight on the river. Thanks to Kaos, a railbird if you will, who noticed the straight when no one else did. Me and Tom had exchanged congratulatory handshakes thinking it was over, Tom the winner. With my new life I dominated the rest of the way. And won a $40.00 gift certificate. And it vaulted me into 3rd place in the monthly points total. Ain't life grand?

Enough of poker. The final four is this weekend. Michigan State, Duke, Wisconsin and Kentucky are the teams. Kentucky is the favorite. Time will tell.

Well that's it. Farewell and adieu and gimme shelter.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

"Dear Cat"

Dear Cat, Recently, I have become addicted to Facebook. I'm posting snippets here, snippets there. I have even borrowed from you via Golden Pond. I read posts from my friends and family. Half liberal, half conservative. I now live FB day and night. Do you think I have a problem? Signed: Not Zuckerberg

Dear Zuck: No, you do not have a problem. I'm a fan of FB too. I love reading accounts of global warming; what someone eats for breakfast and supper; one's love of God and country; and who let the dawgs out. Thanks for the query.

Dear Cat, Seattle lost the Super Bowl to New England. Did you watch and who did you want to win? Or is it whom did you want to win? Signed: Perplexed in Grammar with Deflated Balls.

Dear Perplexed: I watched the game and was ecstatic that the Patriots won. I like Tom Brady because he was a 6th round draft pick. The interception that sealed the victory was icing on the red velvet cake.
My balls would have been deflated if Seattle had won, seeing how I had a $50 bet on the game. Btw, I love it when prissy folks think whom is always the correct way to go. Whom wants to go; whom has deflated balls; and whom ate the red velvet cake. Thanks for the query.

Dear Cat, You recently celebrated your ### birthday. You are getting old as the hills. How does it feel to be old as dirt? Signed: I'm so tired; and as you say, apologies to John Ono Lennon.

Dear John: Let me start out with the usual cliches. I'm not getting older I'm getting better. I am like fine wine. better with age. You're as old as you feel. I've fallen and I can't get up. Getting old is a bitch in reality. There's more hair in my ears than fruit flies on a rotten plantain ( used before but it's one of my favorite quips ); my knees ache cos I probably need knee replacements; I use a comb over to hide the recession of my hair; and I enjoy reminiscing of an earlier time. Btw, John Winston coined: "why in the world are we here; surely, not to live in pain and fear. Thanks for the query.

Dear Cat: Casablanca is a hot topic on FB. It's one of your favorite movies, eh? What do you like about it? Whom is your favorite actor in the film? Signed: Play it again, Sam.

Dear Sam: Thanks for the query. It's who is your favorite actor. Not whom. Didn't you read the above query? Anyway, it's one helluva love story. "We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.." Everyone can relate.

It's funny:
Captain Renault: What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?
Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.
Captain Renault: The waters? What waters? We're in the desert.
Rick: I was misinformed. 

And it has the intrigue of World War II as a backdrop.

[about Rick]
Major Strasser: You give him credit for too much cleverness. My impression was that he's just another blundering American.
Captain Renault: We musn't underestimate "American blundering". I was with them when they "blundered" into Berlin in 1918. 

Thanks for the query. Whom cares, eh? Er, who cares?

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

"Dear Cat"

Update time:

Ohio State is the new champion of college football. With a 3rd string quarterback to boot. Congrats to Urban Meyer.

Petrol or as we say in the U.S. ( gasoline ) is under the $2.00 mark. In my neck of the woods anyway. Who would have ever thunk it?

I played poker tonight at the "Half Shell" in Newnan, just outside of Golden Pond. Where they claim to have the best chili dogs in town. They are all right by me, but the prissy folks claim the food is nasty-not up to par. How can you mess up a hot dog? And the brunswick stew is much better than its counterpart at Smokey Bones. The latter establishment evokes the age old question: "where's the beef ?" Or pork in this case.

Anyway, I was victorious-got some good hands at advangeous times.   Won a $10.00 gift certificate-ain't life grand?

"Sex, sin, beer and wine; we're the class of '69" was our mantra back in the not so halcyon days of a time long long ago. As for my involvement: sex-only my hairdresser knows for sure-; sin-yes, I sinned; beer-yes, I indulged with my usual suspect of friends; and wine-yes, we partook in that activity as well. Mogan David was made in our neighborhood, and we, as young schoolboys, supported their business plan. More about price ( low ) than a sense of loyalty to our local bottlers.

My birthday was the day after Christmas. Happy 63 ( ouch ) to me.

2015? Already? Time flies when yer havin' fun! Eh?

I worked Christmas Eve; New Years Eve; and New Years Day!

The NFL is nearing Super Bowl Sunday. It's down to the Pack, Seahawks, Pats, and Colts.

Because I'm getting weary and "The Case of the Lonely Eloper"  ( Perry Mason ) is on tv, the author of this foray will bid adieu.

Gimme shelter et al.

Friday, November 07, 2014


San Fran beat the Royals. In the World Series. It was a serious series. Seriously.

I won again at Y Knots. I beat Kevin heads up. This time the prize was $30. Not 500. Seriously, as we had a serious series of hands.

It's getting colder and the "it's colder than a witch's titty" comes to mind. Global warming anyone? Let's have a serious conversation and dialogue around the country. Libs believe there's a threat, and conservatives discount the notion. What else is new?

The ebola panic has died down.

Seriously sharp cheese is made by Cabot. Seriously.

I would love to compose a "Dear Cat." Seriously. Not sure I can still do it.

Dear Cat: The election was Tuesday. Did you vote? The Repubs had a grand day. Winning the Senate. Ga.'s David Perdue won over Michelle Nunn, she of political lineage ( Sam Nunn ); and Nathan Deal defeated Jason Carter. Jimma Carter anyone? What was your take? Signed: And whatever happened to Billy Beer?

Dear Billy Beer: I voted but only God and the voting booth know what candidates garnered my votes. Do I color my hair at age 62? Only my hairdresser knows for sure. Yes, I was surprised by the elections. But there's a texas hold 'em tournament tonight at YKnots, so I don't have time to pontificate. Seriously.

"Fit as a fiddle" and "full as a tick" were expressions I heard as a kid. Needless to say, you don't hear these any longer.

Time to end the update.

Gimme shelter!

Wednesday, October 01, 2014


Time for ketchup and pass the grey poupon.

Kudos to the KC Royals for outlasting the Oakland A's in extra innings.

I have now become obsessed with "Forensic Files." Are people that devious and stupid to think they can get away with murder.

The Braves suck as usual and didn't make the playoffs. Gone is Frank Wren, the gm, and the hitting coach resigned today. Freddi Gonzalez should be looking for a new job....and soon.

Gordon Ramsey is a pompous puck. But his shows are entertaining.

Old Betsy. my Buick Park Avenue, has a new sister. Haven't named her yet, but she is a Buick LeSabre. 2005 model which suits and fits my 6 foot 5 inch frame just fine.

Winning the lottery has evaded me. So trips around the worls, villas on the Mediterranean, and charitable donations are on hold....for the moment. 1 in 80 zillion aren't the best  odds.

Pat yourself on the back: yours truly ousted 64 contestants in the Ga Poker Nights monthly tournament.
And won $500 smackers. Humble to a fault I outplayed my last adversary. Beat him like a drum-he didn't know what hit him.

Big as all cuffy is an expression my mom used a lot. Meaning you're a pompus puck.

Piccadilly Cafeteria keeps airing ads on the boob tube. Nuff said. Thanks for the mammaries.

Farewell and adieu. The poupon is delish.

P.S. Please pass the jelly.

Friday, August 15, 2014

"Dear Rock"

Thanks for stopping by. I'm taking a break from writing....as you can see. I have been busy with other things and haven't taken the time to put anything on here.

I'm hanging in there. Hope you're doing fine. I saw where the Westmoreland Piccadilly has shut its doors. It had been in business since 1959.

I became aware of this thanks to pictruandtru via Facebook. 

If I could get my Picasa up and running perhaps I could get engaged again. 

I have just been working, watching Forensic Files, and playing Texas Hold 'Em at the bars around Golden Pond.

Thanks again for stopping by. Farewell and adieu, Cat

Thursday, February 13, 2014

"Pax the Storm" Rejected Titles

Pax is the name of the storm that crippled the southeast and is now causing havoc in the northeast. I'm wondering where the name Pax originated. After some investigative research, it was learned that these names were rejected. All prospective names had to begin with a p.

1) Pickahilly. Rejected. Pickahilly seemed too insensitive to those finding traction impossible on the slippery slopes.

2) Phart. Rejected. As we all know carbon monoxide and emission controls emit an onerous smell. Similar to a Poot, which was also rejected for obvious reasons.

3) Prawns. Rejected. Too prissy for the general public. Especially for those who say sce-nar-io instead of sce-nair-io.

4) Prissy. Rejected. Too many of the on-air commentators are prissy,and it may have distracted the viewing public. Were they talking about themselves or the storm?

5) Pimple. Rejected. For obvious reasons, Zit was considered until realized it began with a z.

6)Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers. Rejected. Copyright laws forbade the name. and the prissy commentators may have had trouble with the infamous tongue twisters.

7) Pi. Rejected. More confusion. Are we talking pie or pir2?

8) Pneumonia. Rejected. Viewers would expect the p to be pronounced in keeping with the "p" directives.

9) PhillyPhanatic. Rejected. Non baseball fans wouldn't get it.

10) Pear. Rejected, Avocado pear or bartlett pear. And what does either have to do with a storm?

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

:It's Colder than the Proverbial Witch's Titty"

Yep. I'm reminded of yesteryear when it was always cold in the winter. Lately, the winter's have been mild. Not this year. Brrrrrr!

So a post from yesteryear is in order. Here goes!!

"Another Post From Yesteryear: Circa 2006 or 2005"

"Global Warming"

I am always amused by those who claim that global warming is wreaking havoc on the earth. How do they know? What scientific data have they read? And if they quote data, how reliable is it?

I have no idea if global warming exists. I'm too busy writing infantile forays "On Golden Pond" to know. Or to find out. And how do you find out? My sister, Olga, believes there is global warming. My brother-in-law, Francois, believes in global warming. And he's a conservative.

And, Shirley, Hillary Clinton, Bill, John Kerry, Michael Moore, and followers of their ilk believe in g.w.

I wonder how they know. What info are they privy, too, that I don't know. 

From last year, here's my take on global warming:

posted by vietnamcatfish at 9:10 PM 2 comments

Saturday, January 22, 2005
Thank God for Global Warming!
The weather outside is frightful
But inside it's so delightful.

Bangor, Maine is reporting temps of 29 below. Thank goodness for global warming. Or the poor souls of the northeast corner would REALLY be freezing their asses off. And the rest of the northeast is under a winter weather advisory. Must be an aberration, eh? Shirley, by next week, the world will return to normal and the polar icecaps will continue to melt as they make their assaults on Mother Earth.

Is it too late to swear in John Kerry? I-among others including Senator Boxer-demand a recount. Those poor disenfranchised voters who had to wait in long 
lines. And who had to give up the fight because their asses were cold, er,their legs hurt.

Damn, CBS, er, Fox news is showing the blizzard conditions in New York City. 3 feet of snow is expected. And Cleveland, Ohio, home to some of the d.v's. Snowing like crazy. "Nasty, nasty night" in Philadelphia claims the savvy Fox reporter doing an on-location "live" report. 16 degrees is expected at game time for tomorrow's NFL showdown.

In fact, the weather is "The Big Story" on Fox. And it's bad in Washington, D.C. as well. Thank goodness for global warming. Can you imagine the mess we'd be in tonite without it? I shudder [ pun unintended ] to think of the implications.

Uh oh. Here comes the obligatory "don't go out unless you have to." They've got to be kidding. Only an idiot would travel those roads. And idiots don't pay heed to
advisories so what's the point.

Global warming? Thank you oh omnipotent force. And may its force be with you. As your freezing your asses off.

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. Opting to go and get in my warm bed instead of engaging in postscripts, so's I'll have some ass left.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

"Happy Thanksgiving"

I am late in writing what I'm thankful for. Here goes:

I am thankful for the classic movies from yesteryear. Specifically, the black and white ones from back inna day. Casablanca, the Maltese Falcon, and the Creature from the Black Lagoon come to mind.

I am thankful for my barber. Even tho he's in his twenties, we share some interests. From the Fab 4 to Texas Hold'Em.

I am thankful for old Betsy, my Buick Park Avenue circa 1997. She's  roomy which fits my 6'5 inch frame just right. She's showing her age. The paint, which is flaking especially in her rear, has fielded a few comments that perhaps old Betsy could be featured in an ad for Chick Fil-A. Ouch. Needless to say, it hurt her feelings. Mine too.

I am thankful for Chicago, not the city, but the band. They are now my favorite band-well, second place-cos nobody compares to the Fab 4. For them not to be in the R/R HOF is a travesty.

I am thankful for my two sons.

I am thankful for Rock, who peruses my forays into the infantile on a daily basis.

I am thankful to have missed the Thanksgiving Holidays via a well-known cafeteria chain. Nuff said.
I must have worked at least 25 years ( inna row ) on TGiving.

I am thankful for James Bond via Sean Connery. And the soundtracks that accompanied the movies.


I am thankful for da Stones and their creation of "Gimme Shelter." A tune that would help give me inspiration to write those forays into the mercantile, er, infantile back-where else-inna day.

I am thankful for Larry Bird and the Celtics of the 80's. McHale, Parrish, DJ et al. And that I got to watch their playoff struggles. 

I am thankful for old Betsy's mama, whose name happened to be old Betsy as well. She was an 86 olds 98, and the only car I've ever had that had some git up and go. RIP old betsy's mom old betsy.

I am last but not least thankful for Golden Pond, my blog of almost ten years. A chronicle and diary of my pursuits, dreams, and failures.

Gimme shelter, v.c.



Monday, October 28, 2013

"Stella Lieback"

I noticed Stella Lieback is mentioned in my most viewed top ten at the top of Golden Pond. The 7th Voyage of Sinbad is a new entry as well.

I'm wondering "who in Hades is Stella Lieback?" I had to click on it-to find out who this ignominious person was or is. Lo and behold, she is the infamous "McDonalds Coffee Lady" who was awarded millions of dollars. For injuries incurred while buying hot java.

I'm sure she is enjoying heaven's coffee now. Good to the last drop. 

P.S. The Bosox just won game 5 of the World Series. They are now up 3-2. And whatever happened to the curse of the bambino? Will it rear its ugly head in the near future?

P.S.S. The Braves, via Atlanta, whiffed again in the playoffs. Nuff said, eh?

P.S.S.S. The original post from 2005 concerning Ms. Lieback.

Friday, October 04, 2013

How to Make the Proper Burrito Gone Viral

Is there anything more frustrating than a bad burrito?

Sure, it takes some skill (very little) to make a good burrito, but it’s not freakin’ rocket science! There’s a correct way and a completely incorrect way, and this angry writer clearly had it made the wrong way.

In this hilarious rant, a writer by the name of Lucky Shirt breaks down exactly why a recent burrito he had was made completely wrong. He pretty much tears this guy a bigger assh*le than one of his own burritos could ever do.

In an article titled, Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito,” he writes:

“Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.”
Check out the rest of the hilarious rant, and pray you never receive a burrito that upsets you this much.
Top Photo Courtesy of Medium

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On a lighter note, the Braves looked like the Braves of the 2000's last night. Will the Braves win a game. Prediction: Braves win this series! 

Tuesday, October 01, 2013

Go Braves

It's that time of the year....again. Playoff time. Will there be success for the Bravos, or will it be more of the same? More heart wrenching defeats.

 Our opponent in this series is the Los Angeles Dodgers, Where in Chavez Ravine, it seems you take your life into your own hands while viewing and exiting the games. We're the underdogs, even tho we have home field advantage.

The Braves and Dodgers had a heated rivalry back in the early 80's. When Joltin' Joe Torre was the skipper for Hotlanta, and Tommy Lasorda managed the men in blue. But as Neil Young once penned: "time fades away," and that's what happened between the two clubs.

Instead of Dusty Baker, Ron "Penguin" Cey, Steve Garvey, Steve Howe and Steve Sux, er, Sax, vs.
"Whiskers" Glenn Hubbard, Dale Murphy, Rick Camp, and Knucksie this time it's Clayton Kershaw, Hyun-jinRyu, and Yasiel Puig vs Freddie Freeman, Brian McCann, Greg Kimbrel, and the Upton brothers. With Terry Pendleton as the Beaver, uh, the hot headed first base coach.

Who'd a thunk it?

Clayton Kershaw is not a baseball name. With that moniker he should be selling mutual funds. Hyun-jin Ryu sounds like something in the bottom of your egg drop soup, and Yasiel Puig, an animal best cooked outdoors and in the ground.

It all starts Thursday. Kershaw vs. Medlen.  I will be awaiting the series with baited breath.

Will it be more of the same, or is the World Series in our future? 

Sunday, September 15, 2013

"Ketchup" and "Trivia"

I just don't have the time to concoct forays into the infantile like I once did. We misses it we do. It's me precious. Or something like that.

Anyhoo. The Falcons play against the Rams today. Looking for our first victory of the season-including the preseason. Methinks we do it.

Johnny Football was unable to pull a hare out of his butt-rabbit out of his hat-in losing to the Tide yesterday. I'm waiting with baited breath for the SEC championship game where the Dawgs demolish the Crimson.

My pick for the Super Bowl. The NY Jets, of course. Maybe we should rethink this one.

Forays into the infantile was coined by yours truly. Speaking of coinage, my son reminded me that he once worked with me on a Rowdy Kids Nite at Hell Whole back in the day. And it was definitely rowdy every Thursday nite. And whatever happened to Briggs, my dm. A man's got to know his limitations.

Speaking of Briggs, here's an old story from back in the day-written by yours truly while helping out  Alan Smithee, who happened to be an alias of mine.

 vietnamcatfish • Oct 24, 2003 11:29

Chili Today/Hot Tamale II.Brought to you this week by v.c., subbing for Alan Smithee, who is currently engaged with his gig at Cat's Potpurri in N'awlins. Alan's recreation of the Elvis phenomena has been a huge suckcess. Alan secretly confided in me that his set includes "I Got Stung," "In the Ghetto," and "Heartbreak Hotel." Without further pomp and circumstance, here's yet another edition of the Alan Smithee Trivia Challenge.

Here goes!

 1) What is R juice?

a) a last-ditch attempt to save the company by Ronnie, before he embraced change. Selling for $.99 and appearing with his likeness on the bottle, R juice, a cornucopia of fruits, was to be sold at Pic's everywhere in the USA.

 b) Short for Rowdy juice. Invented by v.c. and to be sold only to kids.

 c) another idea stolen from v.c. Another entry into the cola wars.

 d) au jus

2) The song, "It's Only The > Beginning," was written by

 a) Chicago Transit Authority

 b) Curly Joe Howard

 c) Count Lippe

d) Jack MacGregor

3) Who has repeated this phrase the most often?  source Guiness Book of World Records. 10-12 pound turkey, two quarts of dressing, a quart of giblet gravy, and a pint of frozen, er, cranberry sauce!

 a) hootsbuddie

 b) Joe Cocker

 c) Betty Crocker

d) alan smithee

4) Hoots has introduced the bored to many in a series of weblogs. He failed to mention his own. What is its name?

a) Hoots the archivester

 b) Blogged down

 c) got lubys

d) Hoots' Blogna

5) Who recently ribbed his ex fellow team member by using the stereotypical and politically incorrect watermelon and fried chicken? And quickly found himself in a heap of trouble. Was it?:

 a) Junior Seau

 b) Tom Tryon

 c) Buster Crabbe

d) Hoss Cartwright

e) didacticdaddy

7) Who wrote "Stray Cat Blues?"

a) Brian Setzer

b) Auric Goldfinger

c) Gram Parsons

 d) vietnamcatfish

8) If your health insurance doubles at work what is the best course of action?

 a) buy a few more bottles of KY jelly

b) marry a school teacher

c) find another job

d) rent the movie "Goldfinger" at your local blockbuster and ask if they sell lubricants as well.

9) Which process is the most unsanitary?

 a) storing raw chicken over cooked foods

 b) not washing your hands after using the bathroom

c) discreetly picking your nose after uttering the phrase, "Serve You?"

d) preparing cornbread dressing in a bambareen ( bain marie  )

10) With talks of bankruptcy, chapter 11 filing, et al what current movie aptly reflects the mood of the denizens of PIC.

a) Cabin Fever

 b) Lost in Translation

 c) House of the Dead

d) Intolerable Cruelty

e) Mambo Italiano

f) Matchstick Men

 g) Louisiana Chainsaw Massacre h) all of the above

11) What really brought down the PIC as well as the Bosox?  

a) Not selling chicken tenders to kids

b) Too much beef liver and onions

 c) curse of the bambino

 d) curse of the bambareeno

 Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. You may now disembark the nite train. All laborde P.S.S. And for Alan and his bridge over troubled waters.... ..

Friday, August 30, 2013

Welcome Back Slippery

Glad to have you back on the Pond, Slippery. You were missed.

Thanks for the kind words. The exchange between me and Keith was somewhat factual. We would have those conversations every night at bedtime. Because we were full of testosterone and were reaching our sexual peak, we were always enamored with the likes of Ms. December, Ms. August, and Ms. Whoever.

Good talking to you on the phone. We should get together and relive old times. And reminisce of Victory, Dixie ( which might not be pc these days ) slippery gentlemen, up up and away, peanut vendor, and while we're at it, a good old John Phillip Sousa march. 

And Beethoven's 5th symphony in 1/1 time.

Gimme Shelter, v.c.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

Today is your birthday. You would have been 88 today. You made 87, which was a ripe old age.

Things just haven't been the same without you.

I was at Kroger yesterday, where you got your prescriptions. Hadn't been there in a while. It was sad.

Just to update you in case you don't know:

I'm still selling seafood down by the see shore.I'm doing my shtick with the customers and making them laugh. I like to say "welcome back" to most of them, who smile for the most part. A few look incredulous. Like huh?

Mom, the Braves are doing well. In first place and way ahead of Washington. They have added a few new players. Alas, Martin Prado is no longer with the team. Freddy Freeman is having a whale of a year, and Brian McCann is starting to come on strong. It doesn't seem the same without Chipper on the team, and I still miss Bobby Cox being in the dugout.

I see Annette every now and then. She cut your hair for how many years? She loves seafood like you do.

I'm going to see "Chicago" August 17th at the amphitheater. Have been listening to their music bypassing for now ( the Fab 4 ). Some of the live stuff from back in the day on youtube is quite impressive.

So Happy Birthday Mom. I miss you. Wish you were here to open your card. You always liked the ones I got you. Love, Harry


Friday, June 21, 2013

"Last Words?"

Saw this on Comcast.

Famous Sign-Offs

From the ironic to the absurd, see the final unforgettable utterances of some of the world's biggest stars. —Jeff Royer (Photos: Getty Images)
Which made me wonder what my last words might be. Perhaps....
1) How long on that white meat? ( A reference to my old job digs where it was a challenge to have enough white meat fried chicken. )
2) No, I don't need to squeeze my sponge! ( Aunt Madeline, who could pee in a steady stream for minutes coined this phrase. I witnessed her squeezing her sponge when we pulled off the road-instead of stopping at a gas station-to relieve ourselves on many jaunts to Florida and South Carolina.
3) Who did what to who?  ( Or would I say who do what to whom? )
4) I'm gonna shave my head and go down the railroad backwards. ( Another Aunt Madelineism ) 
5) She went to Etowah Diddly. ( Ditto-Aunt Mad again. )
6) I'm so glad to know Gilligan, the Skipper, Professor, et al made it off the island.
7) Gimme Shelter.
8) Farewell and adieu.
9) I always surmised it was true. Al Gore Did invent the internet.
10) What really happened on the grassy knoll?
11) Heetomahotomastinkarinkyfarmerdinkysallybunkawinktomanipcatsingsongkittywontchacowmeoh. ( sp ). Yep. Aunt Mad again!
12) And now as tears subside, I find it all so amusing. ( Apologies to Paul Anka, Frank, and the King )
13) I should have had a V-8.
14) Leggo my eggo.
15) More cowbell. ( Apologies to Bruce Dickinson ).
16) C.mon let's twist again. Like we did last summer.
17) Gimme back my bullets. Oooh that smell. ( Apologies to Lynyrd ).
18) We're gonna need a bigger boat. ( My favorite movie of all time ).
19) I should have been more like Bill Clinton. Smoked but didn't inhale. ( Apologies to Camels 99's in the blue pack-my smoke of choice ).
20) Bonjour. ( Apologies to the French internet model in the All State or is it State Farm commercials ).
21) Bad company and I can't deny.
22) Whattdaya mean it's 15 minutes on white meat? ( Chicken livers can be substituted as well ).



Saturday, June 08, 2013

"From 2005-Oldie but Goodie?"

Ah, the laments of a time gone by. Not sure I could write something like this today. But back in the halcyon days of 2005 this came out of me. 

Me and Keith were roommates at Truck U. in the fall of 1969. We had graduated from Rowdy High three months prior to matriculating at Truck U. We lived at Paine Hall-he matriculated on the bottom bunk, and I had the top. We often reflected at night before z'ing ourselves to sleep. Here is one of our conversations. 

Truck U. 5

If some of ya'll never been down South too much...
I'm gonna tell you a little bit about this, so that you'll understand
What I'm talking about
Down there we have a plant that grows out in the woods and the fields,
Looks somethin' like a turnip green.
Everybody calls it Polk salad.
Polk salad. Used to know a girl that lived down there
and she'd go out in the evenings and pick a mess of it...
Carry it home and cook it for supper,
'cause that's about all they had to eat,
But they did all right....

"Keith, you ever eat any polk salad?"

"Vee, I ain't ever had any-don't even know what in the hell it is! What made you ask me that? You're not gettin' delusional on me again, are you?"

"Nah, I'm o.k. I'm just sittin' here in my top bunk reflecting. And polk salad popped in me head."
"Get some sleep. Me and Miss June would like some privacy, if you don't mind."

"I wondered why you took your hankerchief to bed. Too bad we aren't at the Central Adult Theatre. Watching 'The Lustful Turk.' Now that was cinema verite, eh?"

"Man, that county fair tonite was a blast! Ain't nothing like the one in the big city."

"Yeah, I never saw nothin' like it. All those young girls came struttin' out of nowhere in their birthday suits. Squattin' down in front of us and showing us everything they got."

"Too bad we didn't bring flashlights like those other guys. And they [ the girls ] didn't cotton to the zippos-kept blowin' 'em out."

"Yeah, a zippo could catch a bush on fire. You can't blame 'em."

"How do you think the elections will play out?"

"I think Ted Kennedy will win again even tho he left Mary Jo to die."

"Nah, not that one. The Iraqi elections?"

"What Iraqi elections. Sadam Hussein will never be ousted."

"Maybe it was a dream then. Yes, it was. I dreamed it was 2005 and Iraqi's were exercising their right to vote. And Iraq was becoming a republic, er, democracy. And the prez of the U.S. was Bush Jr."

"Bush? You gotta quit going to the fair and fantasizing about all those girls with the flashlights and zippos."

"Keith, you think there were any homos at Rowdy High?"

"Huh? Well, maybe one or two! You sure you're o.k.? I could call the medic again."

"Do you think homos choose to be that way or is it genetic? Or it just happens?"

"Never gave it much thought cos I'm a red-blooded heterosexual. Hey, me and Miss June-we want to be alone. Go to sleep."

"My mom found my Playboys a coppola years ago, discreetly-or so I thought-tucked away in my drawers at home. I remember it well: 'Well, my son smokes, drinks, and now he looks at Playboy Magazine.' Maybe she was relieved to know I wasn't a homo."

"Go to sleep."

"Remember that stag film we saw?"

"The one with the hippie guy with the large prick? Damn thing shriveled up to nothing when he blew his load."

"I was thinking about the one where those two chicks were gettin' it on."

"Yeah, that was hot."

"How come guys like to see hot chicks doing the wild thang? You think girls want to see two guys gettin' it on?"

"Hell, no!"

"Keith, you think we'll ever get laid at Truck U.?"

"Nah. Me and Sue are waiting til we get married. But if the situation presents itself and Sue relents well....Hey, where you going?"

"Something popped up. Now where'd I put that Playboy and handkerchief? What'd you do with the vaseline?"

"Uh, here you go. I borrowed it. Let's go to Bubba's Friday night."

"Yeah! Sounds good. Drown our sorrows. G'nite."




"What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass.
Of glory in the flower;

We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind."

"Vee, I'm calling the doctor."

"I'm okay, Keith. Continue your tryst with Miss June. G'nite, dude."

Down in Louisiana
Where the alligators grow so mean
There lived a girl that I swear to the world
Made the alligators look tame

Polk salad Annie
polk salad Annie
Everybody said it was a shame
Cause her mama was working on the chain-gang (a mean, vicious woman) ....

Friday, May 24, 2013

"Gross! Houston Astros vendor fired after bringing snow cone tray into toilet stall"

Talk about getting caught with your pants down....literally. Sno panting in the stall, eh?

When history looks back on the Reid Ryan era as president of the Houston Astros, no doubt it will fondly recall the first public action Nolan Ryan's son took as head honcho:
Ryan had a snow cone vendor fired — he was an employee of Aramark — for bringing the product into a toilet stall at Minute Maid Park during an Astros game earlier this week.

The vendor was caught with his pants down around his ankles — literally — by a good Samaritan who also happened to be using the bathroom at the time. The whistleblower switched on his cell phone to record the shocking moment, and alerted another ballpark employee (who was walking into the men's room) to the vendor's behavior. The fan also demanded to see a supervisor, adding, in an unintentionally hilarious moment:

Saturday, May 11, 2013

"Happy Mother's Day"

Tomorrow will be the first Mother's Day without my mom. It will be different, of course. I always got her a Hallmark card for the big day, and she always fawned over them. "You always get me the most special cards." I will miss her saying that. And I miss her dearly. It just isn't the same.

The following is a post from yesteryear. I think she liked this one and would like it today. So Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Hope things are going well in Heaven. Say hello to the gang and tell them all I will meet up with them one day.

When we first arrive in this crazy world, most moms are there to nurture us. To scold us when we do bad and to praise us when we do good. My mom was no different. The following is an IM conversation we had earlier today. Because she lives many nautical miles from the pond, me and kitty and the family weren't able to make the voyage to visit. And here's hoping she won't mind me sharing this with the world, er, PIC world.

"Happy Mother's Day, Mom."

"Alan. Is that you? So good to hear from you! How are things in N'awlins?"

"Everybody's fine, mom. We've got a big pot of jambalaya simmering on the stove. Kitty's making crawfish pie and filet gumbo as we speak."

"How is Briggs? And how are things at H.W.?"

"Briggs sends his regards and H.W. is H.W. How are you?"

"I'm fine, son. How are the little whiskersnappers, Katlin and Charlie Jr.?"

"Katlin is at the mall spending money, as usual. Charlie is perusing the streets on his Harley. He just got a new tattoo.

"Fritz, your brother, called a few minutes ago. And sent me a lovely bouquet of flowers. He couldn't talk long-he was on his way to hear Michael Moore speak at the Haight. And then he was off to order Dennis Kucinich's audio tapes at Barnes/Noble."

"Still the ultra left winger, eh, Mom."

"I'm afraid so, Alan. Poor, Fritz. He hasn't been the same since he fell out of the window onto his head in our old garage apartment back in the day. Yes, those were simpler times. I see you're still trying to engage the identity of pictruandtru. Any luck?"

"Well, I've narrowed it down to Dale Brown or Clyde the Glide Malmberg."

"I always thought he was Stromile Swift. You have become a bit redundant. Didn't you use that one once before?"

"Mom, I can't keep up with all the challenges. Since Hoots has vacated the title of Mr. Archive, it makes my job a lot harder."

"I've noticed a lot of spelling and grammatical errors in your posts, lately. And, son, it's eminent domain, not imminent domain."

"Mom, you know I'm just a cafeteria manager who worked his way up from prep cook to manager at the enigmatic H.H and H.W."

"But me and your dad had such hi-hopes for you.

Communal living wasn't a fit for you. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Mom. Even tho apologies are the "in" thing these days. Everything's fine cos we're jammin' at the Potpurri. But here's wishing you the happiest of Mother's Days. I love you!"

"I love you, son. And would you please reconsider a wardrobe change. I, er, the world can see your private, er, family jewels."

"It's all show biz, Mom. Happy Mother's Day. Farewell and adieu, your son, v.c.

Sunday, May 05, 2013

"Dear Cat"

It's time for a new "Dear Cat." So here we go.'

Dear Cat: I have been perusing your column for years but have noticed a paucity of posts lately. What have you been up to? Have you lost your passion for Golden Pond? In other words wherefore art thou? Signed "To be or not to be?"''

Dear   R n J: I had to look up paucity on dic.com before I could answer, so ,yes, you are right kemo sabe.  What have I been up to? Selling seafood down by the seashore or to be more specific, selling seafood down at the local grocer.

Instead of would you like to make that a super dilly, or would you like fries with your can't see your toes burger, I now utter would you like any shrimp with your order? Or crab legs, or surimi, or crawfish, or scallops-well, you get the drift.

I like working there, because I can do my shtick with the customers. I sometimes tell them I've been on a seafood diet all my life, or I see food differently allah a certain restaurant chain. I even get to sit down for 30 minutes for lunch without having to answer the phone or fielding queries from the staff or rowdy guests. At Hell Whole, my employment venue of 30 years, passive aggressive was a way of life.  So, life is good. Perhaps my little niche in this imperfect world has been found.

Thanks for reading my column and for improving my vocabulary-one word at a time, and thanks for the query.

Dear Cat: Sorry to hear your mom passed away. How are you coping? Signed: Mother's Day is this Sunday.

Dear Mom, Mom had a good life of 87 years, but her ticker just gave out. There are many things I miss:

Her telling me when to get a haircut. And when to color my hair. "You look 10 years younger when you cut your hair and color it."

Looking for those weird items in the grocery store that took forever to find. "Can you tell me where the saffron honey cluster clusters are? And the root of cloister?"

Getting giddy when her cumodin ( sp and too lazy to look it up ) level was between 2 n 3.

Eating at the Café Pig which had really good Brunswick stew-excellent brisket and homemade banana pudding.

Missing her period, cos we were joined at the hip. What more can I say?

And thanks for the query.

Dear Cat: I have often thought that life's a ball if only you know it. and it's all just waiting for you. Do you agree? Signed C. Birdie.

Dear Conrad: Not so sure these days. As John Ono Lennon once sang: "Why in the world ( r ) we here; Shirley not to live in pain and fear?" What more can I say? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqP3wT5lpa4

Thanks for the query.

P.S. It's farewell and adieu time. methinks we need a bigger boat. Gimme shelter.


Monday, April 15, 2013

"It's Been a While"

Haven't posted anything in a long time. For many reasons. So....

Today is Tax Day. April 15th. And I just sent mine in. Nothing like waiting til the last minute....eh?

The Braves sans Chipper Jones are off to a hot start. 11-1. My mom, one of the hugest of Braves fans, would have loved it. She would have liked the new additions. The Upton brothers and Gattis-not sure from whence he came- among others.

I went to Saturday's night game but had to leave early. Missing the 9th inning comeback. Oh well.

I'm off to work at 2 pm so this will be short.

Farewell and adieu

P.S. I would like to pen a "Dear Cat" in my next foray into the infantile.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

"In My Life"

I'm still missing my mom. I can't believe she's gone. She was my mom, but also a good friend who was always there for me. Even when the chips were down.

We had a lot in common. Perry Mason, Jeopardy, and the Atlanta Braves.

I'll miss watching Perry with her and pointing out the Vito Scotti's. the Dabs Greer's, the Harvey Corman's, the Julie Adam's of show business. The obscure actors that only me and film/tv critics would know.

I'll miss watching Jeopardy and amazing her when I sometimes answered the final Jeopardy question. "How did you know tasmanian devil was the answer ?  I've never even heard of a tasmanian devil," she said.

I'll miss explaining the infield fly rule. And the implications of the double switch. And I'll miss her wondering why the Braves "can't hit the ball," and suffering yet another playoff defeat. And I'll miss her affection for Brooks Conrad, Brian McCain, and John Smoltz.

Yep. Death is final. That's the hard part.

Friday, December 28, 2012


Still coming to grips with my mom's passing away. I never thought she would die this soon-even at 87-because she was a fighter. I look back now and see the signs. She was frail and had less mobility.

I know she's in a better place. 

The following collage is one I made years ago. Just looked like a neat picture. But one scene is from "Some Like it Hot," a movie mom, sis, and me saw in '59 in L.A. at the Grauman's Chinese Theatre. The one where the stars put their hands and feet in the cement.

At that age-8-I wanted to one day live in Los Angeles. I loved the glitz/glamor. And Disneyland and Knotts Berry Farm.

I never made it there to live but who knows....
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Saturday, December 15, 2012

"My Mom is Gone"

My mom is gone. She passed away Thursday at 4:45 pm. She went peacefully in the hospital. I loved my mom-she was always there for me. I want to say more-write something-a love letter to her, but I am grieving now. I will miss her; there will be a huge void. She was my biggest fan and always encouraged me to write. The following link was one of her favorite stories. I love you, Mom Tell everyone hi in Heaven. Aunt Mad, Grandma Ruby, Granddaddy Pat; Harry, my dad, Aunt Frances, Uncle Gene, Aunt Barbara, and Fred, my stepfather.


Saturday, December 08, 2012

Friday, November 30, 2012

"Go Dawgs!"

The Dawgs play Bama tomorrow afternoon in the Ga. Dome. Here's hoping the Dawgs kick the Tide's butts. 

In a fit of synchronicity, I ran across an old email from years ago.

The following questions are on the Alabama High School exit exam:

  1. A menstrual cycle has three wheels. True or False
  2. Asphalt describes rectal problems. True or False
  3. Spread Eagle is an extinct bird. True or False
  4. Vagina is a medical term used to describe a Heart Attack. True or False
  5. The clitoris is a type of flower. True or False
  6. A G-string is part of a fiddle. True or False
  7. Semen is a term for sailors. True or False
  8. Anus is a Latin term for yearly. True or False
  9. Testicles are found on an Octopus. True or False
  10. A pubic hair is a wild rabbit. True or False
  11. KOTEX is a radio station in Cincinnati. True or False
  12. Masturbate is used to catch large fish. True or False
  13. Coitus is a musical instrument. True or False
  14. Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke. True or False
  15. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute. True or False
  16. A condom is a large apartment complex. True or False
  17. An orgasm is a person who accompanies a church choir. True or False
  18. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry. True or False
  19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle. True or False
  20. An erection is when Japanese people vote. True or False
  21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East. True or False
  22. Sodomy is a special land of fast growing grass. True or False
  23. Pornography is the business of making records. True or False
  24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin. True or False
  25. Douche is the French word for “twelve.” True or False
  Go DAWGS. I really dislike Lou Saban btw.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

"Leave it to Cat"

"Leave It To...." ( ? )

I once worked for a company that catered Thanksgiving dinners. We had it all. Our main feature was a package deal which included " a 10-12 lb. turkey, 2 quarts of cornbread dressing, a quart of turkey gravy, and a pint of cranberry sauce. The turkeys are cooked now, the dressing comes in frozen, the cranberry sauce-ditto, and the giblet gravy-yea it too. Thick as a brick.

I participated in many Thanksgivings-too many looking back in hindsight-at my old digs. This year I have determined that I will not work Thanksgiving this year. I will wake up like most of North America, enjoy a hearty breakfast, watch the Lions-Packers football game, take a few naps, and then stuff myself like the poor old turkey lying on the kitchen table.

And this year I refuse to utter these words: "A 10-12 lb. turkey, 2 quarts of dressing, a quart of gravy, and a pint of cranberry sauce.

And I refuse to answer the phone. During Thanksgiving at H.W., the aforementioned used to ring off the hook.

And who said you can't teach old cats new tricks.

Gimme shelter, v.c.

P.S. I once wrote this foray for Thanksgiving circa 2001. It is reprinted here with the permission of yours truly. The subject matter was a parody of an old sit-com and my old company, which was introducing a new product that year called "universal dressing." And it was truly out of this world.Here it is: Submitted for your approval and perusal:

Leave It To Beaver
by: vietnamcatfish (39/M/Golden Pond) 11/26/01 10:58 pm
Msg: 3127 of 7432

And Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.

The setting is the Cleaver's house at Thanksgiving. Wally has invited his two friends, Lumpy Rutherford and Eddie Haskell, over for dinner.

Beaver had invited his friends Whitey, Gilbert, and Larry Mondello, but they had made prior plans. They were invited to Miss Rayburn's ( their principal ) house for T.G.

Scene 1: The participants are seated around the kitchen table. Ward is carving the turkey.

Ward: "Dig in, everyone."

Eddie: "Mrs. Cleaver, this dressing is delicious. You must have slaved all day in the kitchen to cook such a magnificent feast."

June: "You'll never believe this. But all these goodies came from Piccadilly. More giblet gravy, Ward."

Ward: "No thanks, June. Piccadilly, eh? But pass the potato souffle."

Wally: "It's carrot souffle, Dad, and I made it. Mom bought 3 quarts, put it in the oven, and voila. There it is."

Ward: "Now, Wally. There's no such thing as carrot souffle."

Wally: "But, Dad?"

June: "No, it's true, Ward. Wally is the new prep cook at Piccadilly, and he made pots and pots full for T.G."

Ward: "What are you going to do with the money you earn, Wallace?"

Wally: "Buy that roadster I've had my eye on. Get it rolled and pleated. Take Mary Ellen Rogers to the drive-in. And put the rest in the bank for my college education."

Ward: "I'm proud of you, son."

Eddie: "This dressing is so delicious. Another helping, please."

June: "It's called universal dressing, Eddie. And have as much as you want. I bought extra side packs."

Eddie: "It's out of this world, all right. Pass the cranberry sauce, please!"

June: "I'm afraid it hasn't thawed. It was frozen when I picked it up."

All: Laugh nervously.

Lumpy: "Huh. I've never heard of frozen cranberry sauce."

Wally: "Knock it off, Lumpy."

June: "Who's ready for peach cobbler?"

End of scene 1 Scene 2: Wally, Beav, Eddie, and Lumpy retire to the kid's room.

Eddie: Man, that dressing was the pits. And the giblet gravy was lumpier than Lumpy."

Wally: "Knock it off, Eddie."

Beaver: "Yeah, Eddie."

Eddie: "Pipe down, squirt."

Wally suddenly remembers he has to be at Miss Lander's house. She wants the recipe for carrot souffle. She found out that he was the new prep cook at Piccadilly.

Wally leaves his friends. Eddie and Lumpy rush out of the house. They almost knock over June and Ward, who are standing near the bottom of the stairs.

June: "Beaver, where did Wally go?"

Beaver: "Miss Landers house."

June: "Beaver, what about Eddie and Lumpy?"

Beaver: "Eddie and Lumpy are going to Piccadilly. To apply for a job, or something. They want to show Miss Landers how to make universal dressing."

Ward and June sigh. End of scene 2.

Sunday, November 04, 2012

Photo of 'single mom' receipt goes viral

A photo of a receipt from a restaurant posted on a blogger site has spread across the Internet on Thursday after a "single mom" didn't leave a tip on her $138 tab, the Huffington Post reports.

The receipt shows a charge for $138.35 and instead of leaving a tip, the note reads "single mom sorry," possibly implying the person didn't have enough money for a tip. The picture was originally posted to Reddit.

Redskins Rule Bodes Well For Mitt Romney But World Series Result Favors Barack Obama

The Carolina Panthers beat the Redskins in Washington on Sunday, which should translate into a win for Mitt Romney on Election Day, if history is any indication.

How do we figure? It's the remarkably accurate Redskins Rule that forecasts the result of presidential elections.

Here's what the Redskins Rule means: If the Redskins win their last home game before the presidential election, then the incumbent party retains the White House. If the Redskins lose, then the incumbent party is voted out.

The Redskins Rule has been correct 17 of 18 times.

The Panthers, who entered Sunday with a five-game losing streak, won 21-13 at FedEx Field thanks in part to four sacks of Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III.

The rule traces all the way back to 1940, the first presidential election year in which the Redskins were playing in Washington. But it wasn't discovered until 2000 when Steve Hirdt of the Elias Sports Bureau was doing research in advance of the Monday Night Football game between the Redskins and Titans in Washington a week before the election.

The only exception has been 2004 when the Redskins lost to the Packers. According to the rule, that meant incumbent president George W. Bush should've lost the election to John Kerry. But after Bush won, Hirdt fine-tuned the language of the rule to account for this blip.
But even without the revision, a 94.4 percent success rate is difficult to ignore.

Friday, November 02, 2012

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"Quit Stealing our Letters"

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"New Me?"

 This pic was taken last Septmber 2011. 35 less lbs. later deserves a before and after. I must find the time to showcase the new me. My alter ego-the catfish-is perhaps waiting with baited breath.

P.S. A new "Dear  Cat" may be in order.
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Thursday, November 01, 2012

Pascual Perez killed during robbery in Dominican

Pascual Perez has died in the Dominican Republic. Due to an apparent robbery. And a knife wound to the heart. Just as a segue, a friend of mine calls the region the Dom-i-nican Republic.

Anyway, Pascual gained notoriety as an Atlanta Brave, when on a scheduled start he missed the Fulton County exit and traveled the length of  I-285 which circles Hotlanta. Some 66 miles.

He even changed his jersey name to I-285, allah Chad Ochocinco. 30 years ago.

Pascual played for the Braves during the Joe Torre regime. He was a good pitcher but never realized much success.

This story is just a sideline due to the disaster in New York but still a tragedy. 

Sunday, October 21, 2012

The Only Wing Recipe You'll Ever Need

For residents of Buffalo, New York, where I was born, true Buffalo wings come only from Frank and Teressa's Anchor Bar, where owner Teressa Bellissimo invented the dish in 1964. There, wings are fried, then tossed in a combination of melted margarine and hot sauce. Today, the Anchor Bar serves 2,000 pounds of wings each day. -Denise Mickelsen, from "Wings of Desire" (April 2006)
This recipe is part of a collection. See all 150 classic recipes every cook should know »


Peanut oil, for frying
4 lb. chicken wings (about 40), separated into 2 pieces, wing tips removed, rinsed
12 tbsp. margarine
1 cup hot sauce, preferably Frank's Red Hot Original Cayenne Pepper Sauce
1 ⅓ cups chunky blue cheese dressing
4 ribs celery, halved lengthwise, then cut crosswise into 3″ sticks

1. Heat oven to 200°. Pour oil to a depth of 2″ in a 6-qt. Dutch oven, and heat over medium heat until a deep-fry thermometer reads 350°. Dry wings thoroughly with paper towels, and working in batches, fry wings until golden brown, about 12 minutes. Transfer wings to a wire rack set over a baking sheet, and place in oven to keep warm until all wings are fried.

2. Heat margarine in a 12″ deep-sided skillet over medium heat; stir in hot sauce until smooth. Add wings, and toss until completely coated. Serve wings in a large bowl with dressing and celery on the side. 

P.S. I would love to go there. Wow! 2000 lbs. a day!?

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

"Seventh Voyage of Sinbad"

My favorite sci-fi movie is, of course, "The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad." Not Star Wars; Invasion of the Body Snatchers;" The Carrot, er, Thing from Outer Space. Etc.

My Aunt Mad used to round me up, and we would head to the Twin Starlight on Moreland Ave, a drive-in, of course.

There's something enchanting, magical, and mystical about the movie. High adventures on the seven seas. With the obligatory bad guy, in this case an evil magician. And a beautiful damsel in distress. And a boy genie, who could be beckoned by rubbing the magic lamp and uttering:

From the land beyond beyond.
From the land past hope and fear.
I bid you genie now appear.

There's also the fire breathing dragon; a mutinous crew; a two headed giant eagle; and a sword fight to the death between Sinbad and a skeleton; and the two one-eyed cyclops.

What intrigue! What fun! What excitement for a little boy-me-who first saw the flick at sa tender age of 7 or 8.

Thanks to Ray Harryhausen who created the special effects; to Bernard Herrman with the musical score; and to Aunt Mad who would take me to the Starlight. I must have seen it 4 or 5 times.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

"Diamonds are Forever"

I'm still bummed-a 220 foot infield fly rule invoked during the wild card fiasco i,e, one game for all the marbles. Shoulda been bases loaded with Brian McCann lumbering to the plate with a chance to tie or put the Braves ahead.

Because of the bonehead call, we'll never know what might have happened. Instead of bags juiced and one out, it became runners at second and third and two outs. McCann was pitched around and walked, and Michael Bourn struck out.

It was quite a game, however. And the barrage of beer bottles accounted for a 19 minute intermission and loads of fun.

Cos it's one, two, three strikes yer out at the old ball game. Except that diamonds are forever. And my memory of this game will never be forgotten. Perhaps, Jess,my son and his girlfriend, Heather, will fondly recall the game at some point in their young lives, as they were my guests.

Cos it's root root root for the home team....but diamonds are forever.