GOLDEN POND

Chapter 7: the Manifesto! Orange Man bad! Lies, lies, lies and more lies. 20,000, 21,000, 22,000....and counting. I'm not a libtard! Global warming is not a myth.... "Bill, Bill, wake up you're having a nightmare!" BILL: Where am I? Phil: We're here in our cozy trailer park. 1600 Savoy Truffle Lane! Bill: It must have been the seafood casserole. That's what I get for ordering the chef surprise! I was dreaming of the Orange Man; it was awful! Phil! I bought six tacos at Taco Bell. You can have some! I've got hot and mild sauce. Viva Mehico! Chili today-hot tamale! Bill: No thanks. Living in Atlanta sucks. Climate change is blowing in the wind. It was 70° today and 30° 2 days ago Bill lights his "Homerun" cigarette, that he bought on vintage.com. Arguably, the strongest [ legal ] cigarette ever made. He grimaces , contorting his face, as he inhales the harsh flavor . Since his escape from the tentacles of the jellyfish, via the operation performed heroically by surgeon extraordinaire, Dr. Myeyes, Bill's face ached constantly. He had tried marijuana which helped the pain, but it was illegal. That's why he was voting for Bernie Sanders, who wants to legalize it in every state! Phil: Give me one toke over the line, Bill. ( His eye on the Home Run ). Bill: The Orange Man is bad, Phil! I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire! Phil: You watch too much CNN and MSNBC! Try watching Fox News for the truth! And why do you keep calling him the Orange Man? Bill: Don't you see it? Are you that f****** stupid? He's a fascist. And liar! And Nationalist! And he doesn't believe in climate change! And his spray-on orange tan- give me a break! He's mean to people. He dispatched Mr Vindman and Sondland. Lieutenant-Colonel Vindman, that is. Phil: Yeah, he gave them the old heave-ho! Want to watch Hannity? I recorded it. Bill: I'd rather have a root canal! Phil: Open wide! ( brandishes a pair of pliers from his tool box ). Just as quickly, he returns them. Bill: Silly ass! Hannity is the Orange Man's puppet. And Putin is the puppeteer of them all! Read our manifesto: 1. Don't use his name; 2. Remember this is a regime and he's not acting alone; 3. Do not argue with those who support him--it doesn't work; 4. Focus on his policies, not his orange-ness and mental state; 5. Keep your message positive; they want the country to be angry and fearful because this is the soil from which their darkest policies will grow; 6. No more helpless/hopeless talk; 7. Support artists and the arts; 8. Be careful not to spread fake news. Check it; 9. Take care of yourselves 10. Resist! 11. Keep demonstrations peaceful. In the words of John Lennon, "When it gets down to having to use violence, then you are playing the system’s game. The establishment will irritate you - pull your beard, flick your face - to make you fight! Because once they’ve got you violent, then they know how to handle you. The only thing they don’t know how to handle is non-violence and humor." 12. When you post or talk about him, don't assign his actions to him, assign them to "The Republican Administration," or "The Republicans." This will have several effects: the Republican legislators will either have to take responsibility for their association with him or stand up for what some of them don't like; he will not get the focus of attention he craves; Republican representatives will become very concerned about their re-elections. 13. Keep paying attention, and keep up the pressure; 14. Practice self care; 15. Stay optimistic, but not complacent. If you won't fight for what you believe in, who will? It will take all of us. United together we can handle this. Phil: You're full of s***! Bill: Nooo, I just had a colonoscopy recently. Bill laughs at his joke, but Phil doesn't think it's funny. He opens the toolbox, retrieves the pliers and moves menacingly towards Bill's mouth! Phil: You f****** libtard! Bill: F*** you and the horse you rode in on! I follow the manifesto: 3) Do not argue with those who support him--it doesn't work. Wait-what are you doing? What are you doing with those pliers? Phil inches slowly forward- pliers in tow. He has had enough of this libtard! He had only dreamed of a tooth extraction until now. Now it was time to operate! A banshee scream from hell echoes throughout the trailer park! "WTF was that?" thought the entire trailer park! End of chapter 6! Chapter 8 to follow: 911 stat