One of my favorite Christmas tunes.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
"Merry Christmas"
It's Christmas time again, and it's snowing. The weather zealots nailed it predicting the white stuff a coppola days ago. You've got to hand it to the new technology. Years ago the blizzards would sneak up on the citizenry causing all kinds of havoc.
And this is my first white Christmas. It took a while, but some things are worth waiting for.
Perhaps Bing Crosby, the most popular singer of the Irving Berlin classic, is in a cow pasture somewhere singing "Lotta Doo Doo" and "White Christmas" first heard in the movie, "Holiday Inn."
Merry Christmas
And this is my first white Christmas. It took a while, but some things are worth waiting for.
Perhaps Bing Crosby, the most popular singer of the Irving Berlin classic, is in a cow pasture somewhere singing "Lotta Doo Doo" and "White Christmas" first heard in the movie, "Holiday Inn."
Merry Christmas
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
"The World Misses You, John"
It was 30 years ago today that John Lennon died. I was watching the Monday Night Football game when Howard Cossell broke the news.
I miss him and the music he would have made.
I don't think the Fab 4 would have ever gotten back together.
I miss him and the music he would have made.
I don't think the Fab 4 would have ever gotten back together.
Thursday, December 02, 2010
"Happy Birthday, Keith....and Victor...and Auntie!"
Aunt Charlene was borned ( as they used to say back in my era aka back in the day ) November 25. She now lives in wintry Bulgaria. Belatedly, I sent her a warm happy birthday message. Via email.
Everyone likes to feel special on his/her birthday. My reason-unlike others-is not because I made it another year-whoopie da doo-but because most people are nice to you, more so than on the other 364 1/4 days. ( the one quarter being in observance of leap year ).
My aunt's birthday also made me recall that Keith, my old high school friend, and my cousin, Victor, who is a year and a month older than me, were both borned on November 30. 59 and 60 years old, repectively.
I hadn't talked to Keith in a long time; the last being when he called to inform me that Felton Bruce had passed away. Felton was a long time friend from high school, as well. And gifted because he could get drunk after having only one beer. He didn't have to bother downing a 6 pack to achieve the desired effect-one was a'plenty, and he didn't have to chose between great taste or less filling.
Me and Keith were best friends in high school and through our first two tumultuous years of college. But his dad got sick, and he had to drop out. And then he got married, and we all know how that changes things.
"Don't step on her veil, Harry," were the words Kitty, my future wife-to-be and the bridesmaid, uttered to me as I walked into the church for Keith and Becky's wedding. My gaffe was due to being smitten by Kitty's dark tan,lithe figure and beautiful face. I hadn't seen her in a while, so I was mesmerized. And the fact that I wore size 14 shoes* was the cause for alarm. No one wants a giant's shoe indelibly etched in one's wedding apparel.
Yeah, we were best of buds. Keith introduced me to many things: smoking Winstons; schooling me about cars requiring oil to survive( his Ford Fairline was always in need of a quart or two); drinking beers** and cherry vodka; and going to the Central Theatre in downtown Atlanta, which showed soft porn movies.
We were 16 years old, but patrons were supposed to be 18 or 21 to gain admittance. We were titillated to say the least, as our hormones-they were a'raging. I looked like I was 13-14 at the most. With pimples on my cheeks and forehead, and braces on my teeth, I had that fresh-scrubbed look of a very young teen.
"Can I help you?" asked the Central's cashier.
In my most masculine voice: "Yes, one ticket for 'A Muff in the Rough!'"
"How old are you?" she asked.
"I'm 21! Why, is there a problem?" I said trying to sound like Sean Connery.
It didn't help too that I wore glasses, the nerdy black ones that were fashionable during the mini-skirt and short-pegged trousers days. Wire-rimmed spectacles were on the horizon.
"No problem," she said."'Muff in the Rough' is almost over, but you're just in time for the second feature: 'Buffy and Muffy Get Scruffy.'"
I could never eat the popcorn at the Central-it just seemed too sleazy a place. And I never checked their health score; I was always too busy looking at the coming attraction posters.
Sometimes Bogus Bob, another lifelong friend, would go with me and Keith, but he didn't like the Central much. I always theorized that he was already getting some action up close and personal, the real McCoy. But he would eat the popcorn.
So happy birthday Aunt Charlene-don't eat any yellow snow. And happy birthday my boyhood chum, Keith. And happy birthday, Vic. All of whom were borned in November.
The end
* Size 15 now but age and weight has added an extra size. Oh my!
** Felton required only one beer.
* .
Everyone likes to feel special on his/her birthday. My reason-unlike others-is not because I made it another year-whoopie da doo-but because most people are nice to you, more so than on the other 364 1/4 days. ( the one quarter being in observance of leap year ).
My aunt's birthday also made me recall that Keith, my old high school friend, and my cousin, Victor, who is a year and a month older than me, were both borned on November 30. 59 and 60 years old, repectively.
I hadn't talked to Keith in a long time; the last being when he called to inform me that Felton Bruce had passed away. Felton was a long time friend from high school, as well. And gifted because he could get drunk after having only one beer. He didn't have to bother downing a 6 pack to achieve the desired effect-one was a'plenty, and he didn't have to chose between great taste or less filling.
Me and Keith were best friends in high school and through our first two tumultuous years of college. But his dad got sick, and he had to drop out. And then he got married, and we all know how that changes things.
"Don't step on her veil, Harry," were the words Kitty, my future wife-to-be and the bridesmaid, uttered to me as I walked into the church for Keith and Becky's wedding. My gaffe was due to being smitten by Kitty's dark tan,lithe figure and beautiful face. I hadn't seen her in a while, so I was mesmerized. And the fact that I wore size 14 shoes* was the cause for alarm. No one wants a giant's shoe indelibly etched in one's wedding apparel.
Yeah, we were best of buds. Keith introduced me to many things: smoking Winstons; schooling me about cars requiring oil to survive( his Ford Fairline was always in need of a quart or two); drinking beers** and cherry vodka; and going to the Central Theatre in downtown Atlanta, which showed soft porn movies.
We were 16 years old, but patrons were supposed to be 18 or 21 to gain admittance. We were titillated to say the least, as our hormones-they were a'raging. I looked like I was 13-14 at the most. With pimples on my cheeks and forehead, and braces on my teeth, I had that fresh-scrubbed look of a very young teen.
"Can I help you?" asked the Central's cashier.
In my most masculine voice: "Yes, one ticket for 'A Muff in the Rough!'"
"How old are you?" she asked.
"I'm 21! Why, is there a problem?" I said trying to sound like Sean Connery.
It didn't help too that I wore glasses, the nerdy black ones that were fashionable during the mini-skirt and short-pegged trousers days. Wire-rimmed spectacles were on the horizon.
"No problem," she said."'Muff in the Rough' is almost over, but you're just in time for the second feature: 'Buffy and Muffy Get Scruffy.'"
I could never eat the popcorn at the Central-it just seemed too sleazy a place. And I never checked their health score; I was always too busy looking at the coming attraction posters.
Sometimes Bogus Bob, another lifelong friend, would go with me and Keith, but he didn't like the Central much. I always theorized that he was already getting some action up close and personal, the real McCoy. But he would eat the popcorn.
So happy birthday Aunt Charlene-don't eat any yellow snow. And happy birthday my boyhood chum, Keith. And happy birthday, Vic. All of whom were borned in November.
The end
* Size 15 now but age and weight has added an extra size. Oh my!
** Felton required only one beer.
* .
Monday, November 29, 2010
"Lavender-Ooh La La"
As mentioned in an earlier foray, going to the store for someone else is always a challenge. Especially when it's your mother, and especially if she's "old and decrepit" ( her words not mine ) and 85 years young.
Thanksgiving is this week, so another trip to the grocery store was in order. Mom wanted to make some cranberry sauce and had found the recipe via the Food Network and the Barefoot Contessa. The main ingredients called for fresh cranberries, walnuts, and an orange.
"I want a navel orange, but whatever you do, it can't be from Florida. It must be from California," she said to me as I perused her list, which was laced with very specific instructions according to brand names, sizes, and aisle placements.
"Why is that?" I asked.
"Because Florida navel oranges aren't as juicy and have less zest."
"Sounds reasonable," I said.
The next item on her list was carrots with green bunches emanating from the ends. As opposed to carrots, wilted, with brown stems attached. There was no mention of their geographic location-just that they could be found somewhere in the produce section- which was a good sign.
Next on the list was "Secret" the deodorant; which had to be a clear gel and the "ooh la-la lavender fragrance."
"It has to be ooh la la," I asked?
"Yes, do not get:
'au revoir to you too, chrysanthemum fragrance!';
'it is what it is, chartreuse scented!';
'eww de Toilette, with a hint of aquamarine!'
'you are what you smell, with a dash of boudoir aroma!'
None of those will do! It has to be lavender ooh la la!"
"Gotcha," I said making a mental note.
Continuing along with the list. Walnuts: must be in a can and not in a package. A discerning palate no doubt, buoyed from many years of savoir faire.
7 fresh sweet potatoes. Go to Kroger and not to Publix or Piggly Wiggly, because Kroger has the best and freshest. "There will be rows and rows of them as you walk into the store. Those are the ones I want!" Nothing like crossing all the t's and dotting all the i's.
Continuing: Hellmann's mayonnaise. Hellmann's is the best. Kraft, sorry-no can do. "Please don't get the squeeze bottle ( like you did last time ) because I'm old and decrepit."
6 yogurt. 2 blueberry mountaintop; 2 apricot rainforest; and 2 Caribbean banana plantation. Highlighted and in exclamation were these instructions: "Whatever you do, don't get cherry yogurt. You may like cherry-I don't like cherry." Nuff said-no more cherry.
Then there were the raisins: Sunmaid, of course, but golden and not the black ones.
And, last but not least a 2.6 lb. whole fryer with a + or - factor of 2 ozs.
That was the list. I was prepared. More than prepared. I felt like I could part the Allatoona; bend steel with my bare hands; and catch a fly with chopsticks. Nothing like going to the store for someone else. But it's my pleasure when it's your mom, even if she thinks she's old and decrepit.
Thanksgiving is this week, so another trip to the grocery store was in order. Mom wanted to make some cranberry sauce and had found the recipe via the Food Network and the Barefoot Contessa. The main ingredients called for fresh cranberries, walnuts, and an orange.
"I want a navel orange, but whatever you do, it can't be from Florida. It must be from California," she said to me as I perused her list, which was laced with very specific instructions according to brand names, sizes, and aisle placements.
"Why is that?" I asked.
"Because Florida navel oranges aren't as juicy and have less zest."
"Sounds reasonable," I said.
The next item on her list was carrots with green bunches emanating from the ends. As opposed to carrots, wilted, with brown stems attached. There was no mention of their geographic location-just that they could be found somewhere in the produce section- which was a good sign.
Next on the list was "Secret" the deodorant; which had to be a clear gel and the "ooh la-la lavender fragrance."
"It has to be ooh la la," I asked?
"Yes, do not get:
'au revoir to you too, chrysanthemum fragrance!';
'it is what it is, chartreuse scented!';
'eww de Toilette, with a hint of aquamarine!'
'you are what you smell, with a dash of boudoir aroma!'
None of those will do! It has to be lavender ooh la la!"
"Gotcha," I said making a mental note.
Continuing along with the list. Walnuts: must be in a can and not in a package. A discerning palate no doubt, buoyed from many years of savoir faire.
7 fresh sweet potatoes. Go to Kroger and not to Publix or Piggly Wiggly, because Kroger has the best and freshest. "There will be rows and rows of them as you walk into the store. Those are the ones I want!" Nothing like crossing all the t's and dotting all the i's.
Continuing: Hellmann's mayonnaise. Hellmann's is the best. Kraft, sorry-no can do. "Please don't get the squeeze bottle ( like you did last time ) because I'm old and decrepit."
6 yogurt. 2 blueberry mountaintop; 2 apricot rainforest; and 2 Caribbean banana plantation. Highlighted and in exclamation were these instructions: "Whatever you do, don't get cherry yogurt. You may like cherry-I don't like cherry." Nuff said-no more cherry.
Then there were the raisins: Sunmaid, of course, but golden and not the black ones.
And, last but not least a 2.6 lb. whole fryer with a + or - factor of 2 ozs.
That was the list. I was prepared. More than prepared. I felt like I could part the Allatoona; bend steel with my bare hands; and catch a fly with chopsticks. Nothing like going to the store for someone else. But it's my pleasure when it's your mom, even if she thinks she's old and decrepit.
Monday, November 22, 2010
"Ambulating Towards the 'No Service Customer Service'"
Lately, I have had these moments of creative spontaneity. Well, maybe it's just gas, but that's a whole 'nother subject.
Today's foray into the infantile concerns my going to the grocery store FOR SOMEONE ELSE! A challenging proposition. Because the person you're buying for has a set agenda and requirements/specifications, and you ain't gonna win, no matter how hard you try. When you shop for yourself it's easy, but when you're shopping for someone else it's caveat emptor time. In this particular case, the person in question is my mother. Legendary, she is, in her quest for the perfect edibles.
So I was armed with my list, er, specs and I'm looking for Colavita olive oil. I see Pompeian, and Bertoli and even Crisco. It's like anything else; there's all different flavors. Just like with Cheerios and Coke. Now there's chocolate, yogurt, apple cinnamon, honey nut, fruity, and berry burst cheerios. Coke now comes in vanilla, cherry, one calorie, with lime, with lemon, zero, raspberry et al.
And olive oil. There's original, garlic-flavored, banana, fruity, ripe fruity, etc.-too many to list. Almost forgot the one endorsed by Mussolini-olive oil vintage World War II which has been aging for over 65 years.
So for $14.00 American money-not sure how many euros or pesos that is-I can buy a quart-sized jar-the Colavita brand. Because it's not for me-no problem. Even tho' the person it's for needs a smaller bottle due to age and arthritis. Problem is I couldn't find but one size, which is easy to handle if you're possessed with vim and vigor, but not so if you're 85 years old. Maybe there was a smaller bottle, but because it was nestled in between the truffle lemon, pepper, garlic, basil & the Benito brands of olive oil, I may have overlooked it.
Next on my shopping excursion was an attempt at finding the cherry peppers. My instructions were to buy the mild-not hot-ones, and that they MIGHT be located on the olives, pickles, condiment aisle. Well, I searched the bottles and, of course, couldn't find them, so I headed to customer service.
The lady in charge was nice and asked me "what could I do her for?" Or something like that.
"M'am, I can't find the cherry peppers. I did find the cherry Cheerios and the cherry Coke, and the cherry olive oil, but I can't find the cherry peppers. Can you help me?"
"Cherry peppers? And they come in a jar. Never heard of 'em!"
Because this is the age of computers and everybody does business this way these days, I asked her if she could look them up on the computer.
"Hold on," she said. And picked up the phone to bring in the calvary.
Now we're getting somewhere, I thought.
Instead of the cherry pepper manager, a young man opened the door to my right-her left-and peeked out and the customer service woman asked: "Do we have cherry peppers in a jar, Benito?"
"Cherry peppers? Never heard of 'em. And they come in a jar? Never heard of 'em."
I tried one last time. "Don't you have a computer where you can look it up?" I said.
"I've worked here a long time and have never seen cherry peppers," he said.
Maybe their computer was off line or perhaps it had been diseased by a virus or maybe they still do business the old fashioned way-they earn it-with a pencil, pad and guesswork, but they were not gonna look up cherry peppers on a computer.
So I did what anyone else would do. I said &^%$# it. And realized that what what we had here was a failure to communicate, and another example of "Customer No Service from the supposed Customer Service."
Undeterred I was now on a mission. One last stroll down the aisle of condiments. And there they were. 3 bottles of cherry peppers. Only one kind-sweet. No mint, kumquat, liquorish, herbal, hot...just sweet.
So I placed them in my grocery basket along with the cheese ( ginger sling with a pineapple tart flavored ), and the elberta peach nuanced savoy truffles. And the rice-au-roni hagen daz cheerios and vanilla bean espresso coke.
I was tempted to ambulate back to the customer service area to show them my discovery, but I was exhausted from finding them. So I said %$^& it and headed to the checkout.
The cashier asked if I found everything okay, and if the cherry peppers were tasty.
I told her, yes, I had a little trouble, and, yes, they were quite good but hard to find.
"Never heard of 'em," she said.
I chose plastic and got out of there with a quickness. To live and fight another day, until next time. Maybe if my condition is indeed gas. perhaps some pomegranate
flavored Gas-X is the ticket.
Today's foray into the infantile concerns my going to the grocery store FOR SOMEONE ELSE! A challenging proposition. Because the person you're buying for has a set agenda and requirements/specifications, and you ain't gonna win, no matter how hard you try. When you shop for yourself it's easy, but when you're shopping for someone else it's caveat emptor time. In this particular case, the person in question is my mother. Legendary, she is, in her quest for the perfect edibles.
So I was armed with my list, er, specs and I'm looking for Colavita olive oil. I see Pompeian, and Bertoli and even Crisco. It's like anything else; there's all different flavors. Just like with Cheerios and Coke. Now there's chocolate, yogurt, apple cinnamon, honey nut, fruity, and berry burst cheerios. Coke now comes in vanilla, cherry, one calorie, with lime, with lemon, zero, raspberry et al.
And olive oil. There's original, garlic-flavored, banana, fruity, ripe fruity, etc.-too many to list. Almost forgot the one endorsed by Mussolini-olive oil vintage World War II which has been aging for over 65 years.
So for $14.00 American money-not sure how many euros or pesos that is-I can buy a quart-sized jar-the Colavita brand. Because it's not for me-no problem. Even tho' the person it's for needs a smaller bottle due to age and arthritis. Problem is I couldn't find but one size, which is easy to handle if you're possessed with vim and vigor, but not so if you're 85 years old. Maybe there was a smaller bottle, but because it was nestled in between the truffle lemon, pepper, garlic, basil & the Benito brands of olive oil, I may have overlooked it.
Next on my shopping excursion was an attempt at finding the cherry peppers. My instructions were to buy the mild-not hot-ones, and that they MIGHT be located on the olives, pickles, condiment aisle. Well, I searched the bottles and, of course, couldn't find them, so I headed to customer service.
The lady in charge was nice and asked me "what could I do her for?" Or something like that.
"M'am, I can't find the cherry peppers. I did find the cherry Cheerios and the cherry Coke, and the cherry olive oil, but I can't find the cherry peppers. Can you help me?"
"Cherry peppers? And they come in a jar. Never heard of 'em!"
Because this is the age of computers and everybody does business this way these days, I asked her if she could look them up on the computer.
"Hold on," she said. And picked up the phone to bring in the calvary.
Now we're getting somewhere, I thought.
Instead of the cherry pepper manager, a young man opened the door to my right-her left-and peeked out and the customer service woman asked: "Do we have cherry peppers in a jar, Benito?"
"Cherry peppers? Never heard of 'em. And they come in a jar? Never heard of 'em."
I tried one last time. "Don't you have a computer where you can look it up?" I said.
"I've worked here a long time and have never seen cherry peppers," he said.
Maybe their computer was off line or perhaps it had been diseased by a virus or maybe they still do business the old fashioned way-they earn it-with a pencil, pad and guesswork, but they were not gonna look up cherry peppers on a computer.
So I did what anyone else would do. I said &^%$# it. And realized that what what we had here was a failure to communicate, and another example of "Customer No Service from the supposed Customer Service."
Undeterred I was now on a mission. One last stroll down the aisle of condiments. And there they were. 3 bottles of cherry peppers. Only one kind-sweet. No mint, kumquat, liquorish, herbal, hot...just sweet.
So I placed them in my grocery basket along with the cheese ( ginger sling with a pineapple tart flavored ), and the elberta peach nuanced savoy truffles. And the rice-au-roni hagen daz cheerios and vanilla bean espresso coke.
I was tempted to ambulate back to the customer service area to show them my discovery, but I was exhausted from finding them. So I said %$^& it and headed to the checkout.
The cashier asked if I found everything okay, and if the cherry peppers were tasty.
I told her, yes, I had a little trouble, and, yes, they were quite good but hard to find.
"Never heard of 'em," she said.
I chose plastic and got out of there with a quickness. To live and fight another day, until next time. Maybe if my condition is indeed gas. perhaps some pomegranate
flavored Gas-X is the ticket.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
"Hottest Brands for 2010"
Ford is hot. Conan is hot! Groupon.com is hot. The Miami Heat and puffed-up chips called Popchips are hot.
I will never buy a Ford. Henry Ford was an anti-semite and also received a medal from Adolph Hitler. I saw it on PBS last week. He also published a newspaper railing against the Jewish people for years until he was forced to close the newspaper. Never will I give one cent to his company or ride in one of his automobiles. If any one wants to challenge me on this, go ahead. It is a public record of his views of the Jewish people.
Tue, 16 Nov 2010 23:06:48 GMT | Biff386ie
conan is the worst. Who is putting all the money behins this push. When he repkaced Leno his rating's were poor, what does it take to realize that he stinks, badly
Tue, 16 Nov 2010 23:20:22 GMT | donone
Henry Ford died about 70 years ago! If you black list a brand for it's origin your not gonna be driving anything. Don't even think about a Volkswagon or an Italian or Japanese car for that matter! They were all on the same side during the Holocaust!! Better not buy any gas; you know how them Arabs feel about the Jews! Come on stop being so silly.
Tue, 16 Nov 2010 23:24:13 GMT | derb
For more here's the link. http://www.comcast.net/finance/forwhatitsworth/6494271/thehottestbrandsof2010/
Tue, 16 Nov 2010 23:24:13 GMT | derb
I will never buy a Ford. Henry Ford was an anti-semite and also received a medal from Adolph Hitler. I saw it on PBS last week. He also published a newspaper railing against the Jewish people for years until he was forced to close the newspaper. Never will I give one cent to his company or ride in one of his automobiles. If any one wants to challenge me on this, go ahead. It is a public record of his views of the Jewish people.
Tue, 16 Nov 2010 23:06:48 GMT | Biff386ie
conan is the worst. Who is putting all the money behins this push. When he repkaced Leno his rating's were poor, what does it take to realize that he stinks, badly
Tue, 16 Nov 2010 23:20:22 GMT | donone
Henry Ford died about 70 years ago! If you black list a brand for it's origin your not gonna be driving anything. Don't even think about a Volkswagon or an Italian or Japanese car for that matter! They were all on the same side during the Holocaust!! Better not buy any gas; you know how them Arabs feel about the Jews! Come on stop being so silly.
Tue, 16 Nov 2010 23:24:13 GMT | derb
For more here's the link. http://www.comcast.net/finance/forwhatitsworth/6494271/thehottestbrandsof2010/
Tue, 16 Nov 2010 23:24:13 GMT | derb
Thursday, November 11, 2010
"Prissy"
My foray into the infantile last night smacked of prissy. And, normally, when you think of prissy, you think of women. But when you stop and think about it, there's a lot of guys who are prissy, regardless of their gender leanings.
No, prissy can be an equal opportunity offender. And, last night, the catfish was indeed prissy. Don't overuse the word "I" in writing, which was my argument, but it was me being prissy. And acting as if my ship didn't sink.
We've all heard the phrase "his ship don't sink." Or something to that effect. "I put my pants on one leg at a time just like he does."
Today is Veteran's Day as we change gears here on the Pond. So a shout out to all those men and women who have served in the armed forces. Today most service people are revered and are thanked for their efforts, but that wasn't always the case, especially for those returning from duty in Vietnam.
My dad served in the navy during World War II. And met my mom while he was stationed in Charleston, South Carolina. Or so the story goes. And as a result of that union, Olga and yours truly were born. And life as we know it will never be the same.
So I was being prissy last night. Whatever, eh? And a hearty thanks to all on Veteran's Day!
P.S. Tonight's video which coincidentally goes with tonight's foray is ent5itled "Prissy Miss Lizzy," er, "Dizzy Miss Prissy," er, "Prissy Miss Prissy," er, whatever!
No, prissy can be an equal opportunity offender. And, last night, the catfish was indeed prissy. Don't overuse the word "I" in writing, which was my argument, but it was me being prissy. And acting as if my ship didn't sink.
We've all heard the phrase "his ship don't sink." Or something to that effect. "I put my pants on one leg at a time just like he does."
Today is Veteran's Day as we change gears here on the Pond. So a shout out to all those men and women who have served in the armed forces. Today most service people are revered and are thanked for their efforts, but that wasn't always the case, especially for those returning from duty in Vietnam.
My dad served in the navy during World War II. And met my mom while he was stationed in Charleston, South Carolina. Or so the story goes. And as a result of that union, Olga and yours truly were born. And life as we know it will never be the same.
So I was being prissy last night. Whatever, eh? And a hearty thanks to all on Veteran's Day!
P.S. Tonight's video which coincidentally goes with tonight's foray is ent5itled "Prissy Miss Lizzy," er, "Dizzy Miss Prissy," er, "Prissy Miss Prissy," er, whatever!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
"I, Me, Mine"
Believe it or not, the proprietor of this blog fancies himself as somewhat of a writer, who can get on a roll and churn 'em out faster than a fruit fly laying eggs on a banana or plantain. So when perusing other people's stuff the aforementioned wants to offer some advice ( constructive criticism ) to those who write in the blogosphere: too many I's spoil the broth or too many cooks in the kitchen....ditto. So please refrain from using "I."
An example:
I woke up this morning, and I had a cup of coffee, heavy on the caffeine. I looked out the window, and I noticed the world was still there. I realized that the bacon was a'sizzlin' in the frying pan, and I smelled the distinct odor that was being exuded.
After I exhaled the exuded odor and I munched on said breakfast item, I quickly buttered my toast. I use unsalted butter these days cos I have high blood pressure, and I read somewhere where unsalted butter is better than regular butter, and I'm not sure if margarine is quite up to par.
Because I'm a single mom and/or dad, I had to get l'il Suzy ready for school. I don't know why but I believe all school buses are yellow. So I got her ready-l'il Suzy, that is-and I reminded her to bring her homework with her. "Don't use that 'my dog ate my homework' excuse, cos I will not tolerate it."
Exhibit B: I love myself. I love fried green tomatoes. I like morning runs. I like snow covered mountains. I like Dove soap. I like all types of music-well, maybe I don't like rap. I like to snuggle cos I'm a woman. I like to be by myself cos I'm a man. I like Schlitz and Old Milwaukee. I love champagne and strawberries dipped in chocolate. I love to take pictures, and did I ever tell you, I love myself. Oh, yeah, first sentence in this paragraph.
So when writing if you don't want to turn me off from the git-go, please refrain from the I's. And remember to cross all your t's. And i before e except after c.
So the ayes have it?
An example:
I woke up this morning, and I had a cup of coffee, heavy on the caffeine. I looked out the window, and I noticed the world was still there. I realized that the bacon was a'sizzlin' in the frying pan, and I smelled the distinct odor that was being exuded.
After I exhaled the exuded odor and I munched on said breakfast item, I quickly buttered my toast. I use unsalted butter these days cos I have high blood pressure, and I read somewhere where unsalted butter is better than regular butter, and I'm not sure if margarine is quite up to par.
Because I'm a single mom and/or dad, I had to get l'il Suzy ready for school. I don't know why but I believe all school buses are yellow. So I got her ready-l'il Suzy, that is-and I reminded her to bring her homework with her. "Don't use that 'my dog ate my homework' excuse, cos I will not tolerate it."
Exhibit B: I love myself. I love fried green tomatoes. I like morning runs. I like snow covered mountains. I like Dove soap. I like all types of music-well, maybe I don't like rap. I like to snuggle cos I'm a woman. I like to be by myself cos I'm a man. I like Schlitz and Old Milwaukee. I love champagne and strawberries dipped in chocolate. I love to take pictures, and did I ever tell you, I love myself. Oh, yeah, first sentence in this paragraph.
So when writing if you don't want to turn me off from the git-go, please refrain from the I's. And remember to cross all your t's. And i before e except after c.
So the ayes have it?
Friday, November 05, 2010
"Blue Monday" ( A rehash from yesteryear )
The pinto was in full stride zooming down the countryside ( on my way to work ) when the news blurb mentioned that January 21 is the most depressing day of the year. I swilled a sip of my Folgers coffee, heavy on the caffeine, and attempted to digest this bit of news.
Why Monday, January 21? The 'experts" or whoever it was who had too much time on his hands, decided to wit: 1) number of days since Christmas; 2) credit card bills are pouring in from overspending via the holidays; 3) it's cold as hell unless you live in or subscribe to a land of global warming; 4) failed New Year's resolutions; 5) and just plain old low motivation.
I had another sip of the mountain-grown stuff as visions of Mrs. Olson quickly and thankfully subsided. Because a malaise pervades my inner spirit, the days are all the same to me anyway. But as I sit here peckin' away, I now realize that this was a particularly shitty day. ( pardon my french, s'il vous plait ) Later on towards midnite it got better, but there was no pep in my step for the most part.
New Year's Resolutions? Sorry, I didn't make any and never have. But if I were to dabble in shaping my inevitable future, perhaps my goals and resolutions would/should be:
1) To save the world....from itself.
2) Develop a new fuel source. Luckily, most of youse don't buy petrol known as diesel. Just saw it at the pump for $3.57 purr, er, per gallon. Ouch!
3) Produce a new sequel of "Jaws" the movie. One which would rival the original. "Jaws 2" is curently on the boob tube directed by Jeannot Szwarc. ( sp ) Don't know how that useless fact got lodged in the brain cells, but it's there. For better or for worse. Just like in marriage, eh?
4) Write a novel which sets the N.Y. Times Best Seller list on FIRE. "Great piece of work from this 50ish new author, who had been relegating his dubious talents in the wonderful world of food bizdom. You can give this book to any and all of your friends/family any day of the year ( January 21, notwithstanding ) ," says Bennett Cerf of Random House.
"I am impressed with this erstwhile food bizdom guy. I picked up his new book, 'Forays into the Infantile' and couldn't put it down. I am eagerly a'waiting to ketchup ( food pun....ha ha ) on all his earlier G.P. tales via blogspot," says Rex Reed of the L.A. Times.
5) Eradicate the landscape of all fast food restaurants. Nuff said.
6) Develop a strategy in which customers who stand in line to buy something-anything-must not take precious time away from the poor slobs behind them. Women: no looting in your vast wasteland of a pocketbook to find your last penny. Men: keep your hands outta your pants, unless you need to maneuver a discreet shift. Take the damn change and GO. "I gotta penny....somewhere-hold on"-should be outlawed. And that person should immediately proceed to jail, allah Monopoly. And fine 'em $200.00 for starters.
7) While we're on the subject, never order your food at any fast food joint by saying, "I needa burger, I needa fries; and I needa ketchup." Let's pretend Anita [ INeeda ] quit the job so order by saying, "I would like" or "gimme." Or any facsimile, thereof.
8) Write Slippery, Rockhead, bbq, pictruandtru, to see if they've fallen off the map.
9) Design a game plan for the N.Y. Giants in their quest to win the Super Bowl Thus, ending New England's dream of a perfect season: 19 and 0!
10) And maybe....start working-out; quit smoking; and limit the amount of times my hands are discreetly in me pockets.
Yeah, January 21 was a dreary kind of day. Yes, I was a victim. The good part? It's now January 22nd here on G.P. and I'm feeling much better.
Farewell and adieu time, v.c.
Why Monday, January 21? The 'experts" or whoever it was who had too much time on his hands, decided to wit: 1) number of days since Christmas; 2) credit card bills are pouring in from overspending via the holidays; 3) it's cold as hell unless you live in or subscribe to a land of global warming; 4) failed New Year's resolutions; 5) and just plain old low motivation.
I had another sip of the mountain-grown stuff as visions of Mrs. Olson quickly and thankfully subsided. Because a malaise pervades my inner spirit, the days are all the same to me anyway. But as I sit here peckin' away, I now realize that this was a particularly shitty day. ( pardon my french, s'il vous plait ) Later on towards midnite it got better, but there was no pep in my step for the most part.
New Year's Resolutions? Sorry, I didn't make any and never have. But if I were to dabble in shaping my inevitable future, perhaps my goals and resolutions would/should be:
1) To save the world....from itself.
2) Develop a new fuel source. Luckily, most of youse don't buy petrol known as diesel. Just saw it at the pump for $3.57 purr, er, per gallon. Ouch!
3) Produce a new sequel of "Jaws" the movie. One which would rival the original. "Jaws 2" is curently on the boob tube directed by Jeannot Szwarc. ( sp ) Don't know how that useless fact got lodged in the brain cells, but it's there. For better or for worse. Just like in marriage, eh?
4) Write a novel which sets the N.Y. Times Best Seller list on FIRE. "Great piece of work from this 50ish new author, who had been relegating his dubious talents in the wonderful world of food bizdom. You can give this book to any and all of your friends/family any day of the year ( January 21, notwithstanding ) ," says Bennett Cerf of Random House.
"I am impressed with this erstwhile food bizdom guy. I picked up his new book, 'Forays into the Infantile' and couldn't put it down. I am eagerly a'waiting to ketchup ( food pun....ha ha ) on all his earlier G.P. tales via blogspot," says Rex Reed of the L.A. Times.
5) Eradicate the landscape of all fast food restaurants. Nuff said.
6) Develop a strategy in which customers who stand in line to buy something-anything-must not take precious time away from the poor slobs behind them. Women: no looting in your vast wasteland of a pocketbook to find your last penny. Men: keep your hands outta your pants, unless you need to maneuver a discreet shift. Take the damn change and GO. "I gotta penny....somewhere-hold on"-should be outlawed. And that person should immediately proceed to jail, allah Monopoly. And fine 'em $200.00 for starters.
7) While we're on the subject, never order your food at any fast food joint by saying, "I needa burger, I needa fries; and I needa ketchup." Let's pretend Anita [ INeeda ] quit the job so order by saying, "I would like" or "gimme." Or any facsimile, thereof.
8) Write Slippery, Rockhead, bbq, pictruandtru, to see if they've fallen off the map.
9) Design a game plan for the N.Y. Giants in their quest to win the Super Bowl Thus, ending New England's dream of a perfect season: 19 and 0!
10) And maybe....start working-out; quit smoking; and limit the amount of times my hands are discreetly in me pockets.
Yeah, January 21 was a dreary kind of day. Yes, I was a victim. The good part? It's now January 22nd here on G.P. and I'm feeling much better.
Farewell and adieu time, v.c.
Thursday, October 07, 2010
"Go Braves"
The Braves are in the playoffs-the first time since 2005. We are limping in, but perhaps the 3 day rest will do us some good.
My prediction: Braves will win this playoff series. And move on to the next round.
I would love to go to Game 3 on Sunday. Perhaps I'll see you there.
Other predictions: Texas over Tampa Bay.
Minnesota over New York Yankees-to hell with Mariano Rivera.
And Philadelphia over Cincinnati.
My prediction: Braves will win this playoff series. And move on to the next round.
I would love to go to Game 3 on Sunday. Perhaps I'll see you there.
Other predictions: Texas over Tampa Bay.
Minnesota over New York Yankees-to hell with Mariano Rivera.
And Philadelphia over Cincinnati.
Friday, September 24, 2010
"Same Time Next Year"
It may not be "Casablanca," "Citizen Kane," or"Gone With the Wind" but it's one of my favorite movies. Maybe because there is a Casablanca type sequence and perhaps because they show a clip of Perry Mason, my favorite tv show of all time.
P.S. Methinks I saw it at the drive-in circa 1979 on a double bill as the second feature. What a treat because for the most part the second feature was always a bomb.
P.S. Methinks I saw it at the drive-in circa 1979 on a double bill as the second feature. What a treat because for the most part the second feature was always a bomb.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
"John Lennon"
It's hard to believe that John Lennon would be 70 years old in October. Where did the time go?
Recently I saw where Mark David Chapman,the maniacal madman who killed John, had also targeted Johnny Carson and Elizabeth Taylor. But John was more accessible.
In observance of his birthday a new 11 box cd is out. Here are the details:
The John Lennon Signature Box
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The John Lennon Signature Box is a deluxe 11CD and digital collection of John's eight remastered albums, a disc of rare and previously unreleased recordings, and an EP of Lennon's non-album singles.
The CDs will be housed in digisleeves within a deluxe box including a collectible limited edition John Lennon 70th birthday art print, personal essays from Yoko Ono, Sean Lennon and Julian Lennon written especially for the collection, plus a 60 page hardbound book featuring rare photos, artwork, collages, poetry, and new liner notes by respected American music journalist and author Anthony DeCurtis.
Fans buying the Signature Box will also have access to premium interactive content in the immersive John Lennon 'Universe'. Further details to follow.
Recently I saw where Mark David Chapman,the maniacal madman who killed John, had also targeted Johnny Carson and Elizabeth Taylor. But John was more accessible.
In observance of his birthday a new 11 box cd is out. Here are the details:
The John Lennon Signature Box
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The John Lennon Signature Box is a deluxe 11CD and digital collection of John's eight remastered albums, a disc of rare and previously unreleased recordings, and an EP of Lennon's non-album singles.
The CDs will be housed in digisleeves within a deluxe box including a collectible limited edition John Lennon 70th birthday art print, personal essays from Yoko Ono, Sean Lennon and Julian Lennon written especially for the collection, plus a 60 page hardbound book featuring rare photos, artwork, collages, poetry, and new liner notes by respected American music journalist and author Anthony DeCurtis.
Fans buying the Signature Box will also have access to premium interactive content in the immersive John Lennon 'Universe'. Further details to follow.
Monday, September 13, 2010
"VH-1's Top 100 Artists of all Time"
I watched some of the 4 hour show which featured the top 100 artists of all time. They were voted on by 200 artists which included Ozzy Osbourne ( no relation ); Alicia Keyes; and others I can't remember as of this writing.
I was more interested in seeing who would be number 1. Of course, I knew it would be between Michael Jackson, whose recent death would give him a big boost, and the Fab 4 from Liverpool. If you have ever read my column, then you know who I was pulling for.
The Beatles burst onto the scene in the USA in 1964. Life as we knew it-and particularly mine-would never be the same.
Who won the contest? The winner is shown below in a video from youtube.
I was more interested in seeing who would be number 1. Of course, I knew it would be between Michael Jackson, whose recent death would give him a big boost, and the Fab 4 from Liverpool. If you have ever read my column, then you know who I was pulling for.
The Beatles burst onto the scene in the USA in 1964. Life as we knew it-and particularly mine-would never be the same.
Who won the contest? The winner is shown below in a video from youtube.
Friday, September 03, 2010
"For the Love of the Game"
I have always loved baseball. Loved playing and loved watching.
In high school we played home run derby on the tennis court at Fulton High School, my old alma mater. You only needed 4 players-2 on each side. A pitcher and a fielder.
What games we had, some memorable. A ball that hit the fence on the ground was a single; a ball that was misplayed by the fielder was an error; and a ball that hit the fence was a home run; but a ball hit over the fence was an out. And slowed up the game because we had to look for the ball. If there was water on the court, our rubber ball could be a potentially deadly missile when it was stroked.
And I played home run derby with my friend Steve W. whose front yard yielded many enjoyable games, some marked with tension and drama. Our game was played with plastic balls and bats, both full of tape to add weight. A ball hit halfway across the street was a single, and a ball hit into the neighbor's yard across the street was a home run. Me and Steve, even well into our teens, loved playing our little game.
And I have enjoyed watching professional baseball on tv and in person. Once in L.A. when my sister, mother and me were on a 3 day vacation, circa 1962, we went to Knotts Berry Farm and Disneyland among other places, but a quick glance at the local newspaper heralded the arrival of the N.Y. Yankees for a weekend series with the L.A. Angels. Roger Maris, Whitey Ford, Yogi Berra, and the Mick were gonna be in town. How I would have loved to see the men in pinstripes, but, alas, it wasn't meant to be. And whatever happened to Elston Howard, Gil McDougal and Bill Skowron?
And I will never forget seeing Willie Mays patrolling center field in 1966 in Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium; and Sandy Koufax and the Dodgers being beaten in that same year on a home run by Eddie Mathews in the bottom of the ninth. 50,000 delirious fans, of which some left because of the one hour rain delay, went bananas. Sandy didn't lose many games that year, but he lost 2-1 on this night. Sadly, 1966 was his last year.
I've watched the Braves since '66. When they resided in the outhouse, and when they ascended to the penthouse ( 1991 ). From Rico Carty to Hank Aaron to Biff Poccaroba to John Smoltz, Tom Glavine and Chipper Jones to Troy Glaus, Rick Ankiel, and Omar Infante I've been there.
Yep, I'm a baseball fan. Have always loved to play the game and to watch.
In high school we played home run derby on the tennis court at Fulton High School, my old alma mater. You only needed 4 players-2 on each side. A pitcher and a fielder.
What games we had, some memorable. A ball that hit the fence on the ground was a single; a ball that was misplayed by the fielder was an error; and a ball that hit the fence was a home run; but a ball hit over the fence was an out. And slowed up the game because we had to look for the ball. If there was water on the court, our rubber ball could be a potentially deadly missile when it was stroked.
And I played home run derby with my friend Steve W. whose front yard yielded many enjoyable games, some marked with tension and drama. Our game was played with plastic balls and bats, both full of tape to add weight. A ball hit halfway across the street was a single, and a ball hit into the neighbor's yard across the street was a home run. Me and Steve, even well into our teens, loved playing our little game.
And I have enjoyed watching professional baseball on tv and in person. Once in L.A. when my sister, mother and me were on a 3 day vacation, circa 1962, we went to Knotts Berry Farm and Disneyland among other places, but a quick glance at the local newspaper heralded the arrival of the N.Y. Yankees for a weekend series with the L.A. Angels. Roger Maris, Whitey Ford, Yogi Berra, and the Mick were gonna be in town. How I would have loved to see the men in pinstripes, but, alas, it wasn't meant to be. And whatever happened to Elston Howard, Gil McDougal and Bill Skowron?
And I will never forget seeing Willie Mays patrolling center field in 1966 in Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium; and Sandy Koufax and the Dodgers being beaten in that same year on a home run by Eddie Mathews in the bottom of the ninth. 50,000 delirious fans, of which some left because of the one hour rain delay, went bananas. Sandy didn't lose many games that year, but he lost 2-1 on this night. Sadly, 1966 was his last year.
I've watched the Braves since '66. When they resided in the outhouse, and when they ascended to the penthouse ( 1991 ). From Rico Carty to Hank Aaron to Biff Poccaroba to John Smoltz, Tom Glavine and Chipper Jones to Troy Glaus, Rick Ankiel, and Omar Infante I've been there.
Yep, I'm a baseball fan. Have always loved to play the game and to watch.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
"Limbaugh on Steinbrenner"
"That cracker made a lot of African-American millionaires," the radio commentator said Tuesday on his show after the New York Yankees owner died at age 80. "He fired a bunch of white guys as managers left and right."
Needless to say a lot of people are upset. Duh, what was he thinking?
Needless to say a lot of people are upset. Duh, what was he thinking?
Friday, July 09, 2010
"Mr. Trivia"
Just call me Mr. trivia. I know J.C. Flippen, Andrew Duggan, Ward Bond, and that Vitto Scotti was in a Rock Hudson movie entitled "Blindfold."
With that being said I went to "Big Daddy's," a local suds and brew here on golden pond, for adult trivia night.
I knew the first three answers:
17 is the age that most girls lose their virginity. ( simply a guess on my part-I think I was 25-or was it 30-for me ).
Opium was the reason for a war between China and some other country in the 1800's.
Can't remember the 3rd question but I aced it.
You also got bonus points if you knew the song ( actually the artist ) that was being played with each question.
That was the rub....for me. No Beatles, Stones, Lloyd Price, Spooky Tooth, Vanilla Fudge, Cream-not even Mott the Hoople.
I did know two of the songs. Kiss and Guns N Roses. 2 outta twenty is pathetic for Mr. Trivia.
Maybe next time Vitto Scotti will be the answer, or perhaps I should try being blindfolded!
P.S. No Byrds either!
With that being said I went to "Big Daddy's," a local suds and brew here on golden pond, for adult trivia night.
I knew the first three answers:
17 is the age that most girls lose their virginity. ( simply a guess on my part-I think I was 25-or was it 30-for me ).
Opium was the reason for a war between China and some other country in the 1800's.
Can't remember the 3rd question but I aced it.
You also got bonus points if you knew the song ( actually the artist ) that was being played with each question.
That was the rub....for me. No Beatles, Stones, Lloyd Price, Spooky Tooth, Vanilla Fudge, Cream-not even Mott the Hoople.
I did know two of the songs. Kiss and Guns N Roses. 2 outta twenty is pathetic for Mr. Trivia.
Maybe next time Vitto Scotti will be the answer, or perhaps I should try being blindfolded!
P.S. No Byrds either!
Friday, June 25, 2010
"Al Gore Invented the Internet....and Groped A Massage Therapist....Allegedly"
A close friend of a Portland massage therapist who accused former Vice President Al Gore of groping her says the therapist told her soon after the 2006 encounter that she'd been violated and assaulted by "someone in the higher ups."
Poor Al seems to be joining the list of men who have cheated on their wives. Welcome to the club: Jesse James; Tiger Woods; Bill Clinton; et al.
P.S. Did anyone notice the long introductions to Hall and Oates' songs.
Poor Al seems to be joining the list of men who have cheated on their wives. Welcome to the club: Jesse James; Tiger Woods; Bill Clinton; et al.
P.S. Did anyone notice the long introductions to Hall and Oates' songs.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Florida If you tie an elephant to a parking meter, you must pay the same parking fee as you would for a vehicle.
I’m Under Arrest for What? Fifty Bizarre U.S. Laws
llinois
It’s illegal to take a French poodle to the opera (Chicago).
Alaska
Whispering in someone’s ear while he’s moose hunting is prohibited.
California
You may not eat an orange in your bathtub.
Georgia
It’s illegal to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin unless you draw the shades first.
Indiana
The value of pi is 4, and not 3.1415.
Iowa
One-armed piano players must perform for free.
The list goes on and on....
llinois
It’s illegal to take a French poodle to the opera (Chicago).
Alaska
Whispering in someone’s ear while he’s moose hunting is prohibited.
California
You may not eat an orange in your bathtub.
Georgia
It’s illegal to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin unless you draw the shades first.
Indiana
The value of pi is 4, and not 3.1415.
Iowa
One-armed piano players must perform for free.
The list goes on and on....
Sunday, June 06, 2010
"Ketchup"
The Atlanta Braves are in first place. Shades of yesteryear. From 91 to 2005 the Bravos won 14 straight division titles. Only one World Championship, so Bobby Cox, our manager, catches all kinds of flack from the fan base. Bobby is retiring at the end of the year, so it would be great to see him go out a winner via the World Series.
John Wooden passed away yesterday at the ripe old age of 99. And whatever happened to Bill Walton?
Tipper and Al Gore have decided to separate after 40 years of wedded bliss. No affairs have been chronicled ( as of yet ) but Tipper has been depressed. The official decree is they just drifted apart.
The oil spill in the gulf can't be stopped. And "drill, baby. drill" has probably been tabled for a long time. The ecosystem has taken a hit as well as the cities on the coast and its citizens.
Daniel Craig, the latest James Bond, was seen allegedly making out with his male friend outside a gay club in California. Shades of Rock Hudson, a heartthrob of the 50's, 60's, and 70's. The Craig rumor was reported by the National Enquirer so....
President Obama is catching hell. Especially from the citizens of Louisiana. And from the right wing factions of our country. But he still finds time to entertain Paul McCartney ( my boyhood idol ); and to encourage Lebron James to come to Chicago [ Bulls ].
Armando Galarraga pitched a perfect no hitter, but Jim Joyce, the 1st base umpire blew the last out of the game by calling the batter/runner safe at 1st base, and all hell broke loose. Calls for more instant replay became blogger fodder, along with every sports commentator in the world. Not sure if President Obama weighed in on this one or not.
I wrote "Going to my Grandma's" and somehow erased it. At the last second before posting. The writer has not been inspired to recreate it at the present time.
The Beach Boys ( or what's left of the original band ) played at the Ted after the Braves game on Memorial Day. I wanted to go but couldn't get anyone to go with me. The appeal of the "all you can eat" tickets were especially appealing. Even tho you have only until the 7th inning to gorge yourself on hot dogs, nachos, hamburgers, sodas, and the like.
I'm still unemployed but have been enjoying staying at home with no deadlines and no passive aggressive types to deal with. "You can't take it with you" is my motto.
Ketchup. And buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks; I don't care if I never go back.
John Wooden passed away yesterday at the ripe old age of 99. And whatever happened to Bill Walton?
Tipper and Al Gore have decided to separate after 40 years of wedded bliss. No affairs have been chronicled ( as of yet ) but Tipper has been depressed. The official decree is they just drifted apart.
The oil spill in the gulf can't be stopped. And "drill, baby. drill" has probably been tabled for a long time. The ecosystem has taken a hit as well as the cities on the coast and its citizens.
Daniel Craig, the latest James Bond, was seen allegedly making out with his male friend outside a gay club in California. Shades of Rock Hudson, a heartthrob of the 50's, 60's, and 70's. The Craig rumor was reported by the National Enquirer so....
President Obama is catching hell. Especially from the citizens of Louisiana. And from the right wing factions of our country. But he still finds time to entertain Paul McCartney ( my boyhood idol ); and to encourage Lebron James to come to Chicago [ Bulls ].
Armando Galarraga pitched a perfect no hitter, but Jim Joyce, the 1st base umpire blew the last out of the game by calling the batter/runner safe at 1st base, and all hell broke loose. Calls for more instant replay became blogger fodder, along with every sports commentator in the world. Not sure if President Obama weighed in on this one or not.
I wrote "Going to my Grandma's" and somehow erased it. At the last second before posting. The writer has not been inspired to recreate it at the present time.
The Beach Boys ( or what's left of the original band ) played at the Ted after the Braves game on Memorial Day. I wanted to go but couldn't get anyone to go with me. The appeal of the "all you can eat" tickets were especially appealing. Even tho you have only until the 7th inning to gorge yourself on hot dogs, nachos, hamburgers, sodas, and the like.
I'm still unemployed but have been enjoying staying at home with no deadlines and no passive aggressive types to deal with. "You can't take it with you" is my motto.
Ketchup. And buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks; I don't care if I never go back.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
"No More Happy Meals"
I personally think this is a joke. 1 out of 4 kids in this sleepy hamlet are overweight, so the government steps in and outlaws toys at restaurants aka fast food emporiums.
I also think that fast food is crappola. But for the government to step in is ridiculous.
I also think that fast food is crappola. But for the government to step in is ridiculous.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Vatican finally over Beatles' 'Bigger than Jesus' claim
VATICAN CITY (AP) — The Vatican has finally made peace with the Beatles, saying their drug use, "dissolute" lives and even the claim that the band was bigger than Jesus are all in the past — while their music lives on.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
"Academy Awards Revisited" and "Sandra Bullock"
Apologies to Sandra Bullock, who after winning the ultimate prize in Hollywood, met the agony of defeat when she learned her husband, Jesse James, had been cheating on her. At least she wasn't married to Tiger Woods.
Here's a foray from years ago where the author of G.P. put his spin on the best movie Oscar nominees. Not sure whence it came but it was on my desktop. So without further delay here it is:
1) "The Squid and the Whale": New CEO of a cafeteria chain decides to shake-up the menu by introducing sushi. Zany hijinks ensue as rowdy guests balk at the new fare. "We want the old favorites," says the President of the AARP Snobird Organization. Another classic line from the film: "Don't count the black eyed peas," muttered by one of the independent factions.
2) "Derailed" : Spellbinding! Exhilirating! Riveting! Another Big Business moviedom romp, based loosely on "Brave New World, " "The Jungle," and "Animal Farm." Mayhem and chaos on "The runaway nite train. Ready to crash and burn. It never learns" is the movie's hook and tag line.
3) "Prime" : A documentary from the Dilly Brothers as they romp across 13 states in search of the perfect dining experience. Bill Dilly gets pissed at one stop where most of the food items are empty, cold, and tasteless. "At least one of the servers smiled," Will Dilly remarks to his brother is a memorable line that will stay with you forever.
4) "Get Rich or Die Trying:" "At the end of the day what will you hang onto?" Leroy "50 Cent" Piece decides to hang it up after 40 plus years of cooking fried chicken. After many foiled attempts at franchising his popular fowl cuisine, "50 Cent" Leroy becomes a serial killer. "A psychological thriller that will keep you on the edge of your seats," says "The New York Times." Cameo by Miss Bessie, who is Leroy's first victim. "I always hated that bitch," '50 Cent' mutters rhetorically in one of the more distressing scenes.
5) "Chicken Little:" "Hilarious" says Bob Wire of People Magazine. Reviewer Cal Esthenics of "The Washington Post" reports, "I 'bout fell out of my seat when the guest told the manager, ' you oughta be ashamed of taking them baby chicks away from their mother.'"
6) "I Walk The Line:" A new recruit in the wonderful world of show biz walks up and down the serving line. Day in and day out. He gets weary of saying, "Change this pan. How long on fried chicken? Whaddaya mean you've got to go home?" so he decides to write a song. Instant suckcess follows, and he becomes a country-western legend. His name: Johnny Cash! "Spellbinding" claims Siskel/Ebert.
7) "Harry Potter and The Giblet of Fire:" Based loosely on "Animal House," this zany comedy takes place on the campus of "Truck U.," during the Thanksgiving holidays. When a blizzard engulfs the campus and the students aren't allowed to leave, Harry conjures up a 'giblet of fire' and saves the day by making cornbread dressing in bain maries.
8)"Jarhead:" A marine heads to Northern California to debunk the theory that "rice au roni" is actually "the San Francisco Treat."
9) "The Legend of Azzwhole:" The swashbuckling hero returns after a rousing suckcess in the fast food and cafeteria bizness. "All hail, Caesar" is a recurring line spoken by the plebians.
10) "Capote:" This foray into the infantile is capote. Fini.' You may now disembark the night train....
Here's a foray from years ago where the author of G.P. put his spin on the best movie Oscar nominees. Not sure whence it came but it was on my desktop. So without further delay here it is:
1) "The Squid and the Whale": New CEO of a cafeteria chain decides to shake-up the menu by introducing sushi. Zany hijinks ensue as rowdy guests balk at the new fare. "We want the old favorites," says the President of the AARP Snobird Organization. Another classic line from the film: "Don't count the black eyed peas," muttered by one of the independent factions.
2) "Derailed" : Spellbinding! Exhilirating! Riveting! Another Big Business moviedom romp, based loosely on "Brave New World, " "The Jungle," and "Animal Farm." Mayhem and chaos on "The runaway nite train. Ready to crash and burn. It never learns" is the movie's hook and tag line.
3) "Prime" : A documentary from the Dilly Brothers as they romp across 13 states in search of the perfect dining experience. Bill Dilly gets pissed at one stop where most of the food items are empty, cold, and tasteless. "At least one of the servers smiled," Will Dilly remarks to his brother is a memorable line that will stay with you forever.
4) "Get Rich or Die Trying:" "At the end of the day what will you hang onto?" Leroy "50 Cent" Piece decides to hang it up after 40 plus years of cooking fried chicken. After many foiled attempts at franchising his popular fowl cuisine, "50 Cent" Leroy becomes a serial killer. "A psychological thriller that will keep you on the edge of your seats," says "The New York Times." Cameo by Miss Bessie, who is Leroy's first victim. "I always hated that bitch," '50 Cent' mutters rhetorically in one of the more distressing scenes.
5) "Chicken Little:" "Hilarious" says Bob Wire of People Magazine. Reviewer Cal Esthenics of "The Washington Post" reports, "I 'bout fell out of my seat when the guest told the manager, ' you oughta be ashamed of taking them baby chicks away from their mother.'"
6) "I Walk The Line:" A new recruit in the wonderful world of show biz walks up and down the serving line. Day in and day out. He gets weary of saying, "Change this pan. How long on fried chicken? Whaddaya mean you've got to go home?" so he decides to write a song. Instant suckcess follows, and he becomes a country-western legend. His name: Johnny Cash! "Spellbinding" claims Siskel/Ebert.
7) "Harry Potter and The Giblet of Fire:" Based loosely on "Animal House," this zany comedy takes place on the campus of "Truck U.," during the Thanksgiving holidays. When a blizzard engulfs the campus and the students aren't allowed to leave, Harry conjures up a 'giblet of fire' and saves the day by making cornbread dressing in bain maries.
8)"Jarhead:" A marine heads to Northern California to debunk the theory that "rice au roni" is actually "the San Francisco Treat."
9) "The Legend of Azzwhole:" The swashbuckling hero returns after a rousing suckcess in the fast food and cafeteria bizness. "All hail, Caesar" is a recurring line spoken by the plebians.
10) "Capote:" This foray into the infantile is capote. Fini.' You may now disembark the night train....
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
"Waxing Nostalgic"
New From K TEL Records: Piccadilly 5-Aug-01 01:07 am
Managers sing the hits.
You loved their earlier collection. You waxed nostalgic as they sang "Can We Serve You." And other timeless classics.
Piccadilly Managers sing the hits from K TEL sold more copies than Slim Whitman ever imagined selling.
More chart toppers than the Oak Ridge Boys.
And here they are again by popular demand.
You'll hear them sing: The Eagles'
Welcome to the "Cafeteria Piccadilly." Such a lovely place, such a lovely place, such a lovely place....
We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.
You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.
You'll salivate at their remake of Simon and Garfunkel's "Bridge over Troubled Waters."
Your taste buds will flare as they sing Led Zeppelin's "Rock and Roll."
It's been a long time since we made some honest-to-god rolls,
It's been a long time since we had some good bowls.
Carry me back, carry me back.
To the place I came from.
The Piccadilly Managers sing disco, too. It may be a dinosaur today, but who can forget those liesure suits and gaudy hair styles.
The Mgrs. get funky as they bellow:
The BeeGees, "Stayin' Alive." And Gloria Gaynor's classic, "I Will Survive."
Some of the mgrs. have left the band since the first record. But who cares. You'll never notice as they continue the disco portion with Rod Stewart's "Da Ya Think We're Sexy?"
They'll segue way into the early seventies with Lynard Skynard's "Free Bird."
If I leave here tomorrow?
Will you still remember me?
Cos I'm as free as a bird now.
And this bird you cannot change.
And you'll revel in their rendition of Skynard's, "Ooh That Smell."
PIC Mgrs. do instrumentals, too. You'll pray to your own personal God when they recreate Mike Oldfield's, Theme From The Exorcist." You'll love those tubular bells.
You'll creep closer to 1969 when the mgrs. sing Crosby Stills Nash and Young's classics. "Our House," and "Deja Vu." Have you been here before?
Of course, you have. K TEL's first. Pic Mgrs. sing the hits.
They play to the Yahoo Message Board, too. Love letters to their fans. ibbq4u2, nelore1,
superdilly 2000, A2FAY, and more.
Yahoo. You'll never forget the mgrs. singing Captain and Tenille's "Hoots Will Keep Us Together."
And K.C. and the Sunshine Band's "Shake Your Hootsbuddie."
Ah, Shake Shake Shake
Shake Shake Shake
Shake your hootsbuddie.
They'll close the show with CCR's "Bad Moon Rising," Jimi's "Purple Haze" and Joan Baez's "The Night They Closed Old Piccadilly Down."
Have your credit card ready. Operators standing by. Available on cd or cassette. Dinosaur mentalities, ones who long for the return of drive-ins, discos, and cafeterias, must purchase 8 track only.
You loved them once. You'll love them again.
Call 1-800-DEJA VU. If lines are busy
keep trying. Everyone will want a copy of Piccadilly Mgrs. sing the hits. Volume two.
If lines continue to be busy, dial 1-800-Forgot How To Make A Roll.
Must be 18 to order. Even accept posterior retentive orders.
New From K TEL. Order today.
Managers sing the hits.
You loved their earlier collection. You waxed nostalgic as they sang "Can We Serve You." And other timeless classics.
Piccadilly Managers sing the hits from K TEL sold more copies than Slim Whitman ever imagined selling.
More chart toppers than the Oak Ridge Boys.
And here they are again by popular demand.
You'll hear them sing: The Eagles'
Welcome to the "Cafeteria Piccadilly." Such a lovely place, such a lovely place, such a lovely place....
We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.
You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.
You'll salivate at their remake of Simon and Garfunkel's "Bridge over Troubled Waters."
Your taste buds will flare as they sing Led Zeppelin's "Rock and Roll."
It's been a long time since we made some honest-to-god rolls,
It's been a long time since we had some good bowls.
Carry me back, carry me back.
To the place I came from.
The Piccadilly Managers sing disco, too. It may be a dinosaur today, but who can forget those liesure suits and gaudy hair styles.
The Mgrs. get funky as they bellow:
The BeeGees, "Stayin' Alive." And Gloria Gaynor's classic, "I Will Survive."
Some of the mgrs. have left the band since the first record. But who cares. You'll never notice as they continue the disco portion with Rod Stewart's "Da Ya Think We're Sexy?"
They'll segue way into the early seventies with Lynard Skynard's "Free Bird."
If I leave here tomorrow?
Will you still remember me?
Cos I'm as free as a bird now.
And this bird you cannot change.
And you'll revel in their rendition of Skynard's, "Ooh That Smell."
PIC Mgrs. do instrumentals, too. You'll pray to your own personal God when they recreate Mike Oldfield's, Theme From The Exorcist." You'll love those tubular bells.
You'll creep closer to 1969 when the mgrs. sing Crosby Stills Nash and Young's classics. "Our House," and "Deja Vu." Have you been here before?
Of course, you have. K TEL's first. Pic Mgrs. sing the hits.
They play to the Yahoo Message Board, too. Love letters to their fans. ibbq4u2, nelore1,
superdilly 2000, A2FAY, and more.
Yahoo. You'll never forget the mgrs. singing Captain and Tenille's "Hoots Will Keep Us Together."
And K.C. and the Sunshine Band's "Shake Your Hootsbuddie."
Ah, Shake Shake Shake
Shake Shake Shake
Shake your hootsbuddie.
They'll close the show with CCR's "Bad Moon Rising," Jimi's "Purple Haze" and Joan Baez's "The Night They Closed Old Piccadilly Down."
Have your credit card ready. Operators standing by. Available on cd or cassette. Dinosaur mentalities, ones who long for the return of drive-ins, discos, and cafeterias, must purchase 8 track only.
You loved them once. You'll love them again.
Call 1-800-DEJA VU. If lines are busy
keep trying. Everyone will want a copy of Piccadilly Mgrs. sing the hits. Volume two.
If lines continue to be busy, dial 1-800-Forgot How To Make A Roll.
Must be 18 to order. Even accept posterior retentive orders.
New From K TEL. Order today.
Monday, March 08, 2010
"Millionaire Made Grave Error"
She bought her clothes at rummage sales, didn't own a car and worked most of her life as a secretary for a pharmaceutical company.
Yet after her death at age 100, Grace Groner left Lake Forest College a gift of $7 million to be used for scholarships. The money came from three shares of stock she bought -- and held on to -- in 1935.
As David Roeder of the Chicago Sun-Times points out: "It is a grave error to put your nest egg behind a single company, and it is worse when the company is your employer. Groner had a winner, but others have done this with Enron, General Motors or Bear Stearns."
The all-in-one basket strategy was, of course, a grave error for employees of Enron and others. And financial advisers love to herald diversification, which didn't turn out so well for many investors during the financial crisis.
P.S. They forgot to add Piccadilly to the list! My pal, Bronco Billy, diversified his stock and came out smelling like a rose. But his boss and my mentor lost his shirt!
P.S.S. This is post 2000. Where do we go from here, eh?
Yet after her death at age 100, Grace Groner left Lake Forest College a gift of $7 million to be used for scholarships. The money came from three shares of stock she bought -- and held on to -- in 1935.
As David Roeder of the Chicago Sun-Times points out: "It is a grave error to put your nest egg behind a single company, and it is worse when the company is your employer. Groner had a winner, but others have done this with Enron, General Motors or Bear Stearns."
The all-in-one basket strategy was, of course, a grave error for employees of Enron and others. And financial advisers love to herald diversification, which didn't turn out so well for many investors during the financial crisis.
P.S. They forgot to add Piccadilly to the list! My pal, Bronco Billy, diversified his stock and came out smelling like a rose. But his boss and my mentor lost his shirt!
P.S.S. This is post 2000. Where do we go from here, eh?
Friday, March 05, 2010
"Ways to Increase Business"
The proprietor of the Pond was perusing old posts from back in the day ( 2001 to be exact) on my ex company's message board via Yahoo. Me and others had a ball extolling our opinions. We became engaged-a popular word during the heyday. Here's one of my earlier forays into the infantile. Submitted for your approval.
And thanks to one of the engaged who recently asked me if I had archived my endeavors. I did but don't know into which black hole they have absconded. And without further adieu, here it is. [ damn, has it been almost 9 years ago? ]
Bring back the old tried and true recipes for
success. They worked quite well in the past.
Number one: Charge for butter. Strip search customer if necessary.
Number two: Charge for crackers. Strip search customer......
Number three: Continue child's policy. No bread. Kids don't like bread, especially rolls.
Number four: Do away with tip wage. People don't like to tip in cafeterias. Floor staff can hide more, like they did in the good old days.
Number five: Draw a line in the sand when it comes to customers returning food.Just because they ate all the food doesn't mean they enjoyed it.
Number six: Bring back those scales that never worked. For the counter. That way we can weigh everyone's order. Especially roast beef, ham,
and chicken tenders.
Number seven: Charge for tartar sauce. Why should some have to subsidize others. Tartar sauce has too much fat, clogs arteries, which makes health premiums skyrocket.
Number eight: Don't discount anything. If we charge less for a large ( jumbo ) chop steak and you sell one hundred a day times 230 cafeterias times 365 days a yaer we'll lose x amount of dollars. We can't have that.So let's keep the price high.
Number nine: Have all the staff say, "Can I serve you?" to the customers.Managers, too, when handling complaints. Customers will love it.
Number ten: Use catchy jargon for the products.
Typical scenario. "Can I serve you?" "Uhmm, what kind of fish is that?" Server: "That's our delicious, farm raised catfish, farmed on the banks of Saigon. It's our TET offensive special of the day." Customer: "You sold me.And I'll have tartar sauce."
Number eleven: Go back to two scoops for vegetable servings. A 12 scoop for regular, a la carte orders, and a 16 scoop for best value or combo.After saying, "Can I serve you," server differentiates-quickly- what scoop to use. Must use your best servers here.
Number twelve: Bring back small glasses for tea. Rack tea like we did in the old days.Be sure and keep hoses cleaned, however. Bleach works great.
These worked in the past. And they will work today.
And thanks to one of the engaged who recently asked me if I had archived my endeavors. I did but don't know into which black hole they have absconded. And without further adieu, here it is. [ damn, has it been almost 9 years ago? ]
Bring back the old tried and true recipes for
success. They worked quite well in the past.
Number one: Charge for butter. Strip search customer if necessary.
Number two: Charge for crackers. Strip search customer......
Number three: Continue child's policy. No bread. Kids don't like bread, especially rolls.
Number four: Do away with tip wage. People don't like to tip in cafeterias. Floor staff can hide more, like they did in the good old days.
Number five: Draw a line in the sand when it comes to customers returning food.Just because they ate all the food doesn't mean they enjoyed it.
Number six: Bring back those scales that never worked. For the counter. That way we can weigh everyone's order. Especially roast beef, ham,
and chicken tenders.
Number seven: Charge for tartar sauce. Why should some have to subsidize others. Tartar sauce has too much fat, clogs arteries, which makes health premiums skyrocket.
Number eight: Don't discount anything. If we charge less for a large ( jumbo ) chop steak and you sell one hundred a day times 230 cafeterias times 365 days a yaer we'll lose x amount of dollars. We can't have that.So let's keep the price high.
Number nine: Have all the staff say, "Can I serve you?" to the customers.Managers, too, when handling complaints. Customers will love it.
Number ten: Use catchy jargon for the products.
Typical scenario. "Can I serve you?" "Uhmm, what kind of fish is that?" Server: "That's our delicious, farm raised catfish, farmed on the banks of Saigon. It's our TET offensive special of the day." Customer: "You sold me.And I'll have tartar sauce."
Number eleven: Go back to two scoops for vegetable servings. A 12 scoop for regular, a la carte orders, and a 16 scoop for best value or combo.After saying, "Can I serve you," server differentiates-quickly- what scoop to use. Must use your best servers here.
Number twelve: Bring back small glasses for tea. Rack tea like we did in the old days.Be sure and keep hoses cleaned, however. Bleach works great.
These worked in the past. And they will work today.
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
"Post 1997"
Getting close to post 2000. Hopefully all will be well when the Pond meets the milestone.
The following video is from an older chap who lives somewhere in England. He does Beatles covers as well as other artists. This one sounds like a tune Ringo would sing.
The following video is from an older chap who lives somewhere in England. He does Beatles covers as well as other artists. This one sounds like a tune Ringo would sing.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
"Flaming Pie"
( From Wikipedia ) The title Flaming Pie (also given to one of the album's songs) is a reference to a humorous story John Lennon told journalists in 1961 on the origin of The Beatles' name when they became newly famous: "I had a vision that a man came unto us on a flaming pie, and he said, 'You are Beatles with an A.' And so we were." The album itself definitively has a Beatles flair to it; "The Song We Were Singing" was written about the Lennon/McCartney writing team.
P.S. I noticed Ringo Starr will be at Chastain Park July 10th. Would love to see Ringo again!
P.S. I noticed Ringo Starr will be at Chastain Park July 10th. Would love to see Ringo again!
Monday, February 01, 2010
"I'm a Born Again American"
This is an interesting video that my aunt sent me. She and her husband are missionaries; he is a pastor of a Baptist church in Sofia, Bulgaria.
The video is kinda like some of the videos on youtube, where people in different parts of the world collaborate on a song. Modern technology, eh?
The video is kinda like some of the videos on youtube, where people in different parts of the world collaborate on a song. Modern technology, eh?
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
"Ozzy Says No to Black Sabbath Reunion"
Osbourne adds, "I had girlfriends when I was younger and I would go, 'Oh, I would really like to go back with Shirley,' and then you do and you go to yourself, 'What the f**k was I thinking?'"
Friday, January 22, 2010
"Al Gore"
The weather has warmed here on Golden Pond. the citizenry is back to short sleeve shirts in the afternoon as it's in the 60's. The arctic blast has momentarily gone away, and, surely, Al Gore is feeling better about his take on the end of mankind as we know it.
A lot has happened lately. An earthquake in Haiti has devastated the tiny island. Pat Robertson weighed in by saying the Haitians had made a pact some 200 years ago with the devil. Conan O'Brien is leaving the Tonight Show with 33 million and change; and Mark McGuire admitted to using steroids; and a Republican took the senate seat once filled by Ted Kennedy.
So 2010 has gotten off to a rousing start. So where do we go from here? Eh?
A lot has happened lately. An earthquake in Haiti has devastated the tiny island. Pat Robertson weighed in by saying the Haitians had made a pact some 200 years ago with the devil. Conan O'Brien is leaving the Tonight Show with 33 million and change; and Mark McGuire admitted to using steroids; and a Republican took the senate seat once filled by Ted Kennedy.
So 2010 has gotten off to a rousing start. So where do we go from here? Eh?
Friday, January 08, 2010
"Cold Weather Hits the Metropolis"
It's colder than a witches titty here on the Pond, aka Hotlanta. Except it ain't hot these days-it's freaking cold. Shirley, it's an aberration cos Al Gore would no longer be invited on Dave Letterman's show.
The schools were closed today, and I can't blame 'em. The media was doing its usual thing by warning the citizenry to stay off the roads. And one 50 year old woman died last last night when her car skidded on black ice and ran into a tree.
When I was a kid I always wanted it to snow, because I didn't want to go to school. When yours truly entered the work force, I prayed for NO snow.
Now I don't care because I am gainfully unemployed. Is that an oxymoron?
Keep warm. Don't drive on the roads unless you have to.
Gimme shelter, v.c.
The schools were closed today, and I can't blame 'em. The media was doing its usual thing by warning the citizenry to stay off the roads. And one 50 year old woman died last last night when her car skidded on black ice and ran into a tree.
When I was a kid I always wanted it to snow, because I didn't want to go to school. When yours truly entered the work force, I prayed for NO snow.
Now I don't care because I am gainfully unemployed. Is that an oxymoron?
Keep warm. Don't drive on the roads unless you have to.
Gimme shelter, v.c.
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