"Dear Cat"

Dear Cat, Recently, I have become addicted to Facebook. I'm posting snippets here, snippets there. I have even borrowed from you via Golden Pond. I read posts from my friends and family. Half liberal, half conservative. I now live FB day and night. Do you think I have a problem? Signed: Not Zuckerberg

Dear Zuck: No, you do not have a problem. I'm a fan of FB too. I love reading accounts of global warming; what someone eats for breakfast and supper; one's love of God and country; and who let the dawgs out. Thanks for the query.

Dear Cat, Seattle lost the Super Bowl to New England. Did you watch and who did you want to win? Or is it whom did you want to win? Signed: Perplexed in Grammar with Deflated Balls.

Dear Perplexed: I watched the game and was ecstatic that the Patriots won. I like Tom Brady because he was a 6th round draft pick. The interception that sealed the victory was icing on the red velvet cake.
My balls would have been deflated if Seattle had won, seeing how I had a $50 bet on the game. Btw, I love it when prissy folks think whom is always the correct way to go. Whom wants to go; whom has deflated balls; and whom ate the red velvet cake. Thanks for the query.

Dear Cat, You recently celebrated your ### birthday. You are getting old as the hills. How does it feel to be old as dirt? Signed: I'm so tired; and as you say, apologies to John Ono Lennon.

Dear John: Let me start out with the usual cliches. I'm not getting older I'm getting better. I am like fine wine. better with age. You're as old as you feel. I've fallen and I can't get up. Getting old is a bitch in reality. There's more hair in my ears than fruit flies on a rotten plantain ( used before but it's one of my favorite quips ); my knees ache cos I probably need knee replacements; I use a comb over to hide the recession of my hair; and I enjoy reminiscing of an earlier time. Btw, John Winston coined: "why in the world are we here; surely, not to live in pain and fear. Thanks for the query.

Dear Cat: Casablanca is a hot topic on FB. It's one of your favorite movies, eh? What do you like about it? Whom is your favorite actor in the film? Signed: Play it again, Sam.

Dear Sam: Thanks for the query. It's who is your favorite actor. Not whom. Didn't you read the above query? Anyway, it's one helluva love story. "We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.." Everyone can relate.

It's funny:

Captain Renault: What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?
Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.
Captain Renault: The waters? What waters? We're in the desert.
Rick: I was misinformed. 

And it has the intrigue of World War II as a backdrop.

[about Rick]
Major Strasser: You give him credit for too much cleverness. My impression was that he's just another blundering American.
Captain Renault: We musn't underestimate "American blundering". I was with them when they "blundered" into Berlin in 1918. 

Thanks for the query. Whom cares, eh? Er, who cares?