Tuesday, February 27, 2007

"I Did It My Way"

Thanks to Paul Anka who penned the tune. I watched "Roustabout" on the tube last night, one of my favorite Elvis flicks. I love the campy forays from yesteryear.

Elvis is in great form on this song. The voice, if you will.

Another job interview at noon. Wish me luck.

Doing it his way, v.c.

P.S. Yes, there were times, Im sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.


Sunday, February 25, 2007

"Rats Run Amok in N.Y.C." and "Time Goes By"

Here's the headline which everyone has seen or heard:

NEW YORK (Feb. 24) - The parent company of KFC and Taco Bell -- still smarting from last year's E. coli scare -- has been forced back into damage-control mode after television cameras caught rats scampering around a restaurant floor.

I like the response of the company:

"Nothing is more important to us than the health and safety of our customers. This is completely unacceptable and is an absolute violation of our high standards," Yum Brands said in a statement.

To wit, my response: "Bull Shit." Yumi or Yum Brands only gives a rat's poop, because the news media discovered it, and the company has a lot to lose nationwide. An aol poll asked:

Have you ever seen a rat in a restaurant?
No 83%
Yes 17%
Total Votes: 197,529
Note on Poll Results

and:

Does this affect your impression of KFC/Taco Bell?
Yes 65%
No 35%
Total Votes: 202,032
Note on Poll Results

I voted. And, yes, I have seen many critters in a restaurant. At my last venue of employment, the rats "seemed" to outnumber the patrons. Which is an exaggeration, of course, but there was definitely an infestation. A few days before my untimely firing, we found 7 rats one morning stuck to glue boards under our coke machine in the deli. Some were dead and the others were dying. Swell place to work, eh?
My boss was such a tightwad, he didn't want to spend any money to fix the problem.

Sure we had ecolab, but the various holes in the walls allowed entrance into the kitchen and deli areas. What a place???? Eh???

My previous employment venue had the same problems. And one incident which went nationwide.

MORROW, Ga. Oct. 12, 2004 � The Piccadilly restaurant
chain has recalled a brand of turnip greens sold at some of its 132 restaurants after a customer at a Georgia outlet bit into greens containing rat body parts.

The parts came into the restaurant in Morrow frozen with the greens, which were supplied by a vendor, the chain's regional manager, Clint Celestin, said Tuesday.

A spokeswoman for the local health department, Sheryl Taylor, said her agency's investigation was inconclusive as to the source of the contamination.

Celestin did not know exactly how many of the restaurants, located mainly in the Southeast and mid-Atlantic region, were affected by the recall.

"We had all that product removed from all of our stores that day," he said of the Sept. 1 incident. "Anything that was opened was thrown away. Anything that was unopened in the freezer was picked up by our supplier and sent back to the vendor."
The customer, Collis L. Warren, said he was halfway through his meal when he said to himself: "That looks like hair or fur." The 40-year-old truck driver added that he may have inadvertently eaten some of the rat.

His lawyer said Warren plans to sue. Mike Misuraca, Piccadilly Cafeterias' risk manager, said he could not comment on the pending lawsuit.

I found this with a google search and, lo and behold, it is from Hootsbuddy's Place. And on the front page of the google search. Man, Hoots, you've got it going on!

In summary, rats, roaches, e coli, etc. are the scourge of the restaurant industry. What goes on in the kitchen, storage areas, and even in the dining room would surprise the average guest.

Gimme shelter, v.c.

P.S. today, I got this nice notice from a perspective employer.

Thank you very much for considering ******* as a possible career choice. We will not be offering you a position. We simply do not have a match between your needs, wants, and qualifications and the management position we are looking to fill.

Thank you very much for your interest in ******* and the time you have committed to our hiring process. We wish you the best of luck in your career search.

Angie ******
VP of Training and People Development




Thursday, February 22, 2007

"Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"

As I pen tonite's foray. the inevitable question arises: is there anyone out there who reads "Golden Pond?" I thought yers truly had cancelled his subscription to his new counter when, lo and behold, out of nowhere came an email announcing the latest hits to the Pond.

Alas, it was heartbreaking to learn that not one soul had viewed my efforts for the month. Boo hoo and all that.

To increase traffic, perhaps I need to add some famous names to this particular foray. Let's see:

1) Anna Nicole Smith

2) Lisa Nowak

3) Simon Cowell

4) Rosie O'Donnell

5) Donald Trump

6) American Idol

7) Barack Obama

8) Britney Spears

9) "Somebody's Got To Say It" author Neal Boortz

10) Star of stage and screen, er, Hootsbuddy's Place

Now, maybe I'll get some hits!

Gimme shelter, v.c.

P.S. To get in the spirit of tonite's foray, here's:


"Believe It Or Not" or "Water Down the Drain"

I called Ripley's tonite to see if they wanted to include me in one of their books. "The believe it or not series."

They said yes and the rest is-as they say it-history.

Category: v.c. [ yers truly ] actually likes music that is not penned by messrs. Lennon, McCartney, Harrison, and Starr.

Look for this new adaptation in yer stores soon. In fact, be the first one on yer block to get a copy.

Heart of the country, v.c.

P.S. There are no postscipts tonite.


P.S.S. Here's the proof as validated by Ripleys.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

"Random Ramblings"

1) Not sure if anyone has ever coined this phrase? "Random Ramblings," that is.

2) After bragging on TCM in a foray from last week, the faire this week has been disappointing.

3) Have you ever noticed what separates good actors from the bad ones? ( includes the female variety ) From this sideline reporter, imho, the goodones appear to be the character they are playing, instead of just mouthing the lines.

4) My new job was short-lived. Nuff said.

5) Tonight's song is from the 80's. It is submitted for your approval and perusal. See the end of the foray for further details.

6) When Mark David Chapman killed John Lennon, he calmly sat down on the curb and began reading "A Catcher in the Rye." One of my favorite books as a young teen.

7) There's always an angle. Somebody trying to make a buck. When I attended "Truck U." you could always buy the "Cliff Notes," instead of reading the literature. Today it would be called "Great Works of Literature for Dummies." Guilty as charged. One of my favorites at my old alma mater was "Canterbury Tales," the unabridged edition, which I actually read. Some of the dialogue:

"You want my treasure. It is in my pants."

"Yes, I want the treasure. Oh, it's in the back end of your pants." [ sticks hand down pants and is farted on ]

I guess this is when the term "ribald classics" was invented.

8) What's it all about? Alfie? And whatever happened to Michael Caine? And Dionne Warwick for that matter.

9) Speaking of hands down pants, how about this one?



'Manhood' Check Costs Hoops Coach Job

Maine Athletes Told to Put Hands Down Their Pants


10) The old clock on the wall says it's time to bid adieu. Gimme shelter, v.c.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

"Paint it Black"

Not much to report. I do start a new job Monday. And not in the food biz.

Tonight's song sums it up. I included this oldie version because it includes the sitar. Which was ripped off from you-know-who.

Gimme shelter and paint it black, v.c.


Thursday, February 15, 2007

"Gimme Shelter"

1) I just lost my post and am rewriting. Hit the wrong red x. Don't you hate when that happens?

2) John Lennon once sang: "Why in the world [ are ] we here. Shirley, not to live in pain and fear."

3) My life has had a lot of ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade one minute of the ride.

4) TCM is showing nothing but oscar-nominated films. ( all categories ) I've seen some really good ones this week. "Love Letters" is currently playing. Dig this: the screenplay is by Ayn Rand. Didn't know she did that. And I like how Robert Osborne, aka "Mr. Movie Trivia," introduces and ends each flick. Tough gig, eh?

5) Anne Bancroft ( Mrs. Robinson ) was only 3-4 years older than Dustin Hoffman ( Benjamin )in "The Graduate." You got to love Hollywood!

6) I may have had a moment of clarity tonite. Here's hoping I follow through.

7) Maytag is wanting to replace their repairman. Here's your chance for Hollywood stardom. Now this gig is right up my alley. ( pun intention left to the discretion of the reader )

8) It bears repeating. I dislike rewriting the same column, when I thought it was a wrap, er, rap. Fishwrapper, get it? Newspaper, etc. Oh, forget it.

9) My stepfather once told me that I should use only two tissues of toilet paper when doing my thing. Economy, ya see. We had to watch those controllable costs. [ this story was not mentioned in the earlier story ] He didn't like shaving every day, as well, which prompted my including this anal foray into the infantile.

10) Which reminds me. I once wrote a story on the Yahoo aptly entitled. "An Al Remembers." Play on words and all that. The foray included anal remembrances by the anal management staff. I wonder if my stepfather ever worked for the company. He would have been a natural.

11) Gimme shelter, v.c.

P.S. I like this version, even tho' it wasn't my first choice. The best one wouldn't load correctly, and the reason I hit the wrong red X in the first place.


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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

"Consumer Guru" or "China Girl"

They have a consumer guru here on "Golden Pond" named Clark Howard, who is a consumer guru extraordinaire. He can save you-the consumer-thousands, hundreds, dollars, etc. I've even called him on the radio a couple of times:

"Hello, Clark. This is v.c. I have a lot of credit card debt. What should I do?"

"Hello, v.c. How much debt do you have?"

"**&%$# dollars worth, Clark!"

"Are you shit*** me, v.c.?"

"No, I'm not, Clark!"

"Nothing I can help you with, v.c. Your case is hopeless. Thanks for your call. Next we have Billy Bob from Smellville on the line. Good luck, v.c."

Clark is such a consumer guru he has figured out that if you buy two single Wendy's hamburgers, you can make your own double by taking the meat off one single and adding it to the other. And it's cheaper than buying the double. Pretty good investigative reporting, eh?

Today on aol, they listed a few stories sent in by aol subscribers with similar stories as the above. Here are some of them:

We have family friends that have two toilets. One is for #1 and the second is for #2. The number one toilet is only flushed once, and that's at the end of the day. The second toilet is flushed for waste removal only, and all TP is put into a plastic bag to prevent additional flushing.


I went on a date once with a person who invited me to dinner and a concert. Dinner was a free promotional dinner at a local hotel. We left at the pitch. The concert was standing listening outside a hedge at a university amphitheatre! Last date with this person.


Many years ago, I was invited to go for coffee with my friend and his father. We had three cups of coffee. When the waitress came, my friend's father asked for three separate checks. Why? Because coffee was 10 cents a cup back then and there was no tax from 0 to 10 cents. One check would have been for 30 cents with 2 cents tax. The guy saved 2 cents asking for three checks!
Next: Dinner and a Movie?

My wife: "Can't we just once go out to dinner and movie without stopping at the blood bank first?"

My dad used to cut the elastic waistband off of old underwear and tie them to his forehead to use as "sweatbands". Heaven only knows where he got the idea for that.


One of my husband's co-workers is so cheap, after he accidentally swallowed a tooth cap and didn't want to pay a few hundred dollars to have a new one made, he actually fished it out of the toilet after it worked its way through his system and had the dentist re-use it.


I got a guy at work that showers with the tub stopper in to keep the water from going down the drain to try to reclaim the heat and will not drain the water till it chills. It probably does give some heat, but is it worth standing in dirty water. We run a waste to energy facility (burn garbage) so the water is somewhat dirty.

These have to be potential consumer gurus. Gimme shelter, v.c.

P.S. So that people will not believe that all I listen to is the Fab 4 I am presenting a song from David Bowie. "Oh, baby. Just you shut your mouth."


"Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" or "Yer Blues" or "I Want To Hold Your Man"

I was watching a repeat of the old game show "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" and the question was: "what is the pseudonym a director uses when he wants to disassociate himself from an awful movie?"

Well, the matronly grandma chose b) "Paul McGuffin." I'm yelling through the t.v., "granny, choose a) Alan Smithee. Seeings how it was a repeat, my blatherings were useless anyway. She lost, of course, and lost the $128,000 question and went back to $32,000. Not bad but....

I knew Alan Smithee, because I know a lot of useless information. Plus I used it as a Yahoo profile, when I was writing on the old PIC message board.

I really liked this old show and Regis Philbun was great as the host.

Tonite's song features a tune from "The White Album." But instead of the Fab 4 doing the rendition, the musicians include John Lennon, Eric Clapton, Keith Richards, and the drummer from the "Jimi Hendrix Experience." Are you experienced, eh? Not necessarily stoned but beautiful.

Gimme experience, v.c.


Friday, February 09, 2007

"I Forgot the Link"`

Last night the story was about hoots and a few of his misadventures in the food biz. You remember: He wiped the fallen knife; and broke away from the serving line at the exact second a black couple was next in line. Wonder if they thought hoots had an ax handle tucked away in his office allah Lester Maddox cos they certainly thought he was a redneck racist, via St. Looie.

Well, I linked you to hootsbuddy's place but didn't link you to the aforementioned article. So here it is. Gimme shelter, v.c.

P.S. I inadvertently overlooked your e mail hoots, the one about the all star band, until tonight. And there's some mail from Steverino, Shirley from Hawaii, not sure about Slippery that have been vegetating in my mailbox for a while now.



P.S.S. Tonite I'm enclosing Frank Zappa doing "I Am The Walrus." My all time Fab 4 tune with apologies to "Hey Jude."
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Thursday, February 08, 2007

"This Be Post 1500! A Milestone, eh?"

I just perused hootsbuddy's place and found a foray I can Shirley relate to. It is enclosed for your viewing pleasure. Here are a few snippets:

Suzie, the roast beef carver, drops the roast beef knife on the floor. Good samaritan and good manager hoots comes to her aid. He picks up the roast beef knife, wipes it with a towel, and gives it back to Suzie, who continues to cut the roast beef.

Fly in the ointment? Guest says "what the hell did you just do, buddy?"

Hoots looks incredulous.

Another part of the foray is a black/white issue. Where hoots comes face-to-face with trouble. So you'll want to read his column with an expediency. And for an added treat, I left a comment, as well.

You got to love the food biz, v.c.


P.S. Post 1500. Who'd a'thunk it?

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

"Not Much To Say"

Tonite's song is aptly entitled "Livin' La Food Biz Loca."

Not much to report other than there's a job fair Wednesday, and I've got a job offer to relocate. Not sure if v.c. is up to it at his advanced age.

Hang in there, y'all. It's all good! v.c.


Saturday, February 03, 2007

"A Man Needs A Maid" or "When Will I See You Again?"

My life is changing
in so many ways
I don't know who
to trust anymore
There's a shadow running
thru my days
Like a beggar going
from door to door.

I was thinking that
maybe I'd get a maid
Find a place nearby
for her to stay.
Just someone
to keep my house clean,
Fix my meals and go away.

A maid. A man needs a maid.
A maid.

It's hard to make that change
When life and love
turns strange.
And old.

To give a love,
you gotta live a love.
To live a love,
you gotta be "part of"
When will I see you again?

A while ago somewhere
I don't know when
I was watching
a movie with a friend.
I fell in love with the actress.
She was playing a part
that I could understand.

A maid. A man needs a maid.
A maid.

When will I see you again?


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Thursday, February 01, 2007

"Thanks Hoots"

Thanks for the info. It will take me a few weeks to decide depending on my job situation. Thanks again, v.c.

P.S. You know how you can punch a button on the remote, and it will tell you about a particular program on cable. On "The Andy Griffith Show" it always lets you know it's a repeat.

P.S.S. Tonight's song embodies the drug-induced music from the 60's and the flavor of that time period. I even wrote a comment on youtube mentioning the double entendre: Don't be long or don't belong. The tune is penned by George.


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