"Dear Ngudu"

Dear Ngudu, Hope your doing well since our last communique. Have you gotten a cell phone? Smart phones are big over here. I have a dumb phone. It harkens back to the medieval days, and, frankly, I'm afraid to pull mine out in public. Embarrassed. lol. That means laugh out loud. Remember that for later.


I see people texting and playing games and pulling up emails on their smartphones, and my phone is a relic soon to be displayed at the Smithsonian Institute. I don't really need a fancy phone. I just turned sixty so there's no need. Cheese and crackers! Seems like only yesterday I was a young lad of six like yourself. Doing fun things like young boys do.

Smoking cigarettes in the plum orchard with my boyhood chum, Bobby Craig. who was 10 and I was 9. What were we thinking? Our smoke of choice was Viceroy which we bought at Harold's Barbecue, a landmark in Atlanta. Not sure they sell barbecue in Tanzania, but one of my favorite dishes is brunswick stew. It's hard to find a good one these days-the best I ever had was from Old Hickory. But when they served me some brown cole slaw on one visit, I probably knew their days were numbered. And they were.

Sorry I got sidetracked, Nguda. Me and Bobby began our smoking careers pinching Chesterfield Kings from his dad. We were just beginners, so we gravitated from the non filters to the Viceroys, a filter cigarette.We were similar to our former President Bill Clinton; we smoked but did not inhale.

It wasn't until Bobby's sister, Charlene, who was sent on a reconnaissance mission to out us that our smoking dissipated just as our smoke rings did. Into thin air. I received a switching for my misdeeds, while Bobby was forced to smoke a pack of cigarettes in one short sitting. It was a few years before I smoked another. 

What do you do for fun, Ngudu? Perhaps an eventful day for you is scaling Kilimanjaro or riding zebras on the plains or tagging along on a safari.Or perhaps you and your friends have set traps or greased vines in order to catch Tarzan, King of the Apes. He's a wily fellow so approach him with extreme caution. And be wary of Cheetah, his chimpanzee sidekick.

Speaking of animals, Ngudu,  "Keep Newt in the row" is an old southern expression that I've heard for years. It must have been important to keep the mule in the row whilst farming. There is a famous Newt in our country  who is running for President. ( I mentioned him in my letter last week ). Some folks in our country probably don't want to keep this Newt in the row. In fact they want him to veer far into the ditch....and stay there.


Give Sister of Mercy a hug for me; keep Newt in the road; lay off the smoking; and have fun! I can almost see you galloping with gazelles.

Your foster dad, Cat. Umgawa!