"Highest and Lowest Paying Restaurant Jobs"

My buddy, Hoots, used to say that servers were the highest paid workers in a restaurant.

In my 30 plus years I would agree. Servers at a cafeteria chain would make a couple hundred dollars per day, and all they did was get drink refills, condiments, napkins, etc., and to go containers. Not a bad gig considering anything over $5.15 per hour was not reported to the IRS. Oh yeah, they had to bus the table. Some thought they had to bust the table, but that's another story.

Here's the article:

More than a decade ago, I took a job as a server at a branch of a steakhouse conglomerate in rural North Carolina, where, for $2.13 an hour plus tips (including some insightful hand-scrawled notes in lieu of dollars), I waited tables and swept up piles of broken peanuts. The steakhouse has seen some changes over the years (eventually, busted peanuts make for busted floors). The pay, it turns out, has not.

The rate of $2.13 an hour — also known as federal subminimum wage, or the standard base pay for waitstaff in many states — hasn’t budged a penny in 20 years. Even if you work full-time, that amount obviously won’t pay the bills. So how much are servers actually able to bring in these days? How do their wages stack up against those of other restaurant employees?....

"Fear Not, Doctors Have Penis Mutilation Well Figured Out"

Due to folks tuning in to Golden Pond after doing a google search, I am here with the follow up to this bizarre case. Unfortunately, the people dropping by are not looking at anything else.

Let's get to the subject at hand. Oops. Pun unintended. There is a funny pun in the article to follow that I'm sure was unintentional.

Not to be outdone by truTV, whose exhaustive guide to criminal castration we linked to yesterday, the LA Times has put together its own comprehensive guide to penis mutilation–in the wake of the story of Garden Grove’s Catherine Kieu Becker, who recently sliced her husband’s penis off and ran it through the garbage disposal. It’s a surprisingly long piece, filled with useful information. For instance, though it was reported that Becker’s victim will likely lose his original penis, doctors can construct a new one from parts of his arm.

If the nerves are connected properly the patient may get erogenous sensations, particularly in the head of the penis. But because the arm does not contain the soft, spongy tissue typical of the penis, the patient cannot get an erection. That problem is overcome by implanting, well after the initial repairs have healed, a prosthetic implant, such as a hydraulic pump. Overall, “it’s a long, complicated, expensive procedure,” Alter said. But when it is finished, the patient can get an erection, have intercourse and climax.

If you missed the pun, here it is: Catherine Kieu Becker, who recently sliced her husband’s penis off and ran it through the garbage disposal. It’s a surprisingly long piece,

P.S. I saw where Ms. Becker has just signed a contract with the Ginsu Steak Knives company. ( not mine-saw it in another article ).

"Ouch-Catherine Kieu Becker Accused Of Cutting Off Her Estranged Husband's Penis"

A Southern Californian woman is accused of cutting off the penis of her estranged husband. She was arrested late last night after investigators responded to a 911 call and is now in custody at the Orange County Jail.

Catherine Kieu Becker of Garden Grove reportedly prepared dinner for her husband and put a poisonous substance or drug in his food to make him drowsy, reports KTLA. While the man was sleeping, Becker allegedly tied him to the bed. When he awakened, Becker cut his penis off with a knife and threw it into the garbage disposal, turning it on as she did so.

To read more....

P.S. This story came from the Huffington Post. To the right of the story it shows me that my sister and old high school chum ( Facebook ) read this column. Wow!

"Diana Nyad"

61-year-old Diana Nyad continues her quest to swim 103 miles from Havana, Cuba to the Florida Keys.

"When I blinked, I was 60."

"Slow on the Pond"

 

Another picture from my favorite movie.

1) Jaws

2) A Few Good Men

3) Casablanca

4) 7th Voyage of Sinbad

5) Goldfinger

6) From Russia with Love

7) Dr. No

8) The Verdict

9) Family Man

10) Pulp Fiction

11) Godfathers I/II

12) Groundhog Day

13) The Empire Strikes Back\

14) The Thing ( 50's version )

15) North by Northwest

16) Vertigo

17) It's a Wonderful Life

18) You Only Live Twice

19) Thunderball

20) Invasion of the Body Snatchers ( 50's version )

Not necessarily in any order, tho Jaws is number 1.

"Hair's Looking at you, Kid"

 

 

Not much more to say about the Casey Anthony case that hasn't already been said.

Roy Kronk, the meter man, who discovered the body is pictured above. He must have borrowed his hair style from my friend, Steve, who wore this look in the 70's, and who is pictured in the second photo. It has always been documented that styles come and go and then return.

When I mentioned to Steve via Facebook that he and Roy had the same hair style, Steve took umbrage. He thought he was better looking than Roy.

I thought they had the same hair-that's all.

P.S. Or Hair today gone tomorrow.

 

"It's 100 Degrees in the Shade" or "Time Flies When Yer Having Fun"

From January 17, 2008

"v.c.'s Musings"
It's the day after the storm, and the denizenry reveled in the chaos and the sight of white snow falling from the skies. We in the South have seen snow falls, blizzards, and black ice. Not lately, tho'. Why? Global warming! You dolts!

Yesterday was an event and got everybody excited. People who have lived elsewhere, like on the frozen tundras of Green Bay, the mountainous slopes of Colorado, or Alaskan igloos dwellers pooh-poohed our pathetic reactions of awe.

I heard a lot of:

"Where I come from [ Indiana ] this t'warnt nothing. You ain't seen snow til you seen snow in Indiana."

"I couldn't believe it when I saw snow plows going down the road. In Minneapolis, now that's some snow....for you."

Each comment was followed by a snicker. A mischievous smile. A "I can't believe they ate the whole thing."

I defended the region's honor. Yeah, we've had snow. And I tell 'em about the blizzards of '81 and '93 or was it '94. These events occurred before global warming, so most of the denizenry think you're telling tall tales or just plain hallucinating.

Back then you never knew it was coming. Until it was toooooooooo late. In '81 the blizzard shut down the city. Unfortunately, the work force was dutifully on the job. It took 'em hours to get home. I tried to be a good Samaritan by taking some of my charges, who were stranded, home when the snows started a'fallin'. It took me all night to get home. If I had escaped at first, I could have been home roasting in front of an open fire, allah chestnuts.

I would have no regrets doing a good deed, but the people I helped didn't seem to appreciate my sacrifice. Like they were entitled. Or something. Be it as it may, I did it. Risking life and limb. But it was an adventure, and I'll leave it at that.

But now the technology has improved to the point where there's little or no surprise.

I do remember waking up one April morning in 1985 and seeing a winter wonderland before my eyes. I was scheduled for surgery-ahem, in the groin area, and it's too much information, I know. Was this a sign to cease and desist the upcoming surgery?
The snow was beautiful; the roads weren't bad-remember it was April. I had the surgery, and the foot of snow had melted by noon. Along with yours truly. Ouch!

Sometimes, I think it would be better if we didn't know the bad weather was right around the bend. Takes all the mystery out of it. And then there's the precautions we can now take, and all of the raids on the supermarkets.

Musing 2: My foray from last night had a definite theme. "Revolver" in the picture. Songs from the Fab 4-my favs-included "Happiness is a Warm Gun"; and watching the classic sequel "Death Wish 3."

Btw, there is a "Death Wish 4" with the enigmatic Charles Bronson. How do I know. Was there a google search involved? Nah. I'm watching it now via AMC, the home of bleeped curse words and multi-layered commercials. I remember when it was commercial free. Not any more. See TCM for an alternative. Which is showing "From Here to Eternity." A dark, brooding tale of life in the South Pacific, pre-Pearl Harbor, December 7. 19 and 41. Too dark and brooding for me tonight. I'd rather watch Death Wish.

It is now time to end tonite's slugfest, as the revelry of the snow has subsided. The denizenry has bid adieu to the foul weather. The upside? Supposed to be an Arctic blast this weekend. And we shall replay it all over again.

Snow....snow....snow. v.c.

P.S. The weather outside ( yesterday ) was frightful.
But inside, it was so delightful

P.S.S. Musings concludes.
Posted by vietnamcatfish at 11:01 PM

"Fan Falls to his Death"

Tragic story. I have never come close to catching a baseball at a game. They never come my way. These days baseball players are very gracious and throw the foul balls and end-of-inning balls to the fans. I'm sure this will cease because of this tragedy. I often wondered when someone might get hurt by a thrown ball; the distances the balls are heaved can be of a great distance.

From the article: In the second inning, Oakland A’s outfielder Conor Jackson(notes) hit a screaming foul ball down the left-field line. It caromed toward Josh Hamilton(notes), the Rangers’ left fielder. Hamilton picked it up and threw the ball toward the stands. Players do this hundreds of times in a season. It’s part of baseball’s charm. Show up to a stadium, take home a piece of the game.

Hamilton’s toss came in short. It didn’t stop Shannon Stone from stretching to grab it. I’m almost certain, in fact, that the moment before Shannon Stone fell 20 feet and suffered injuries that would kill him, he was indescribably happy. He was going to grab a baseball from Josh Hamilton, a man who hauled himself from the depths of drug addiction to not only return to baseball but win the American League MVP award last season. Once Stone had that baseball, he was going to hand it to his son. And for the rest of his life, his son would have a story to tell about the time his daddy reached over a railing and snagged a bad throw from Josh Hamilton, one of the most talented players ever to wear a baseball uniform.

 

"!00 People Who Are Screwing Up America"

Never one to be topical, I recently read this book. It lists Jimmy Swaggart, Michael Jackson, Dan Rather, And Al Franken to name a few. Bernard Goldberg, the writer, is definitely a conservative.

There are 100 names-of course-and number one is Michael Moore. The others, while receiving many paragraphs, Mike doesn't get nary a one. His selection comes with his quote: "They are possibly the dumbest people on the planet...." Speaking of his fellow Americans, according to Goldberg.

I recommend the book, especially while visiting the powder room and/or reading room.

On a similar vein, I recently used the word bain marie in my last foray into the infantile. While heading to Piggly Wiggly today, the thought popped in my head about some stuff I heard while manning the counter at a cafeteria chain, which will go unnamed.

1) Swimps: Crustacean. Lives in the sea. Favorite food of Bubba. You may know them as shrimps, er, shrimp. Po boy, etouffee, fried, sauteed, cocktail, fried rice, scampi, creole-well, you get my drift.

2) Cabbages: If not mistaken cabbages does not appear in plural form.

3) Brussel sprouts: little cabbages.

4) Barbecue Beef Briscus: Sounds like something you would throw at the Olympics. Brisket, if you will.

5) Hurshpuppies: No explanation is needed or given.

6) Manaze: Try mayonnaise and who can forget Mayonnaise in an "Officer and A Gentleman."

7) Sweet Potato Shooflay: Not to be confused with Shoofly, don't bother me.

8) Fish Fill It: This is a fish sans bones.

a) I was often asked if the fish we served had bones. "No, it's Fill It." To which they would reply: "But does it have bones?"

9) Devil's Food Cake: Some guests never liked to hear the word "devil," so we would go with chocolate cake instead. However, that caused problems when the yellow layer cake with chocolate icing was similarly referred.

10) Seafood Bungo: I swear I heard this once from one of the team members. You may know it as Seafood Gumbo.

Shirley, I'll think of others, but these readily come to mind.

P.S. R Jus: The natural juice from the roast beef.

"Dear Cat"

This dear cat is a dramatization of an actual event:

Dear Cat: I once worked in the cafeteria biz. Long hours too if you will. Don't ask me how it was during the holidays with catering and customers/guests who commanded instant gratification. I moved on after listening to the song "the cat in the cradle" by Harry Chapin ( pun unintended ). From there I became a counselor. It wasn't quite my niche; so I went to work for George Zimmer, because he looked like a sharp dressed man on the boob tube. He had a radiant smile and a catchy ad line: "I guarantee it." But, alas, I'm not happy and want to move on again. DO you have any suggestions. Signed: ex supervisor of the bain maries and other assorted duties.

Dear bain marie: Because I receive no remuneration for writing this column, and because I have no gainful employment, you and I share the same boat. But there's hope and light at the end of the tunnel. Cos I have just the job(s) for you. And thanks to Yahoo's article:

Start a New Career at Any Age/Check out these hot options for career switchers of all ages:

I like this one, in particular:

#3 - Paralegal

Reliability is likely more top-of-mind than age in this profession, since lawyers depend upon paralegals to assist them in just about every part of the legal process. Strong written and verbal communication skills are important, so any prior work history that demonstrates this may come in handy. In addition to researching and interviewing witnesses, paralegals often help proofread documents and prepare contracts.

There are 4 more fields, bain marie. Check 'em out and good luck in your search.

P.S. You're gonna look good in one of these fields;I guarantee it.

P.S.S. Apologies to George Zimmer

P.S. III: What in the world is a bain marie, anyway? Thanks for the query!

"Dick"

MSNBC suspends Mark Halperin for Obama remark



Comments from the article: Gee if he said that about BUSH he would have been promoted.

2) Who is Halperin and what is MSNBC?

3) The 7 people that actually watch MSNBC will be disappointed.

"Scene II"

Cast of Characters

Stella: Young daughter of Vonnie. She is 14. Likes tall guys. She's 5'4". She has buck teeth. She misses her dad, who left the roost when she was 9. Hates Charlie, Vonnie's boyfriend. When Stella gets older she will go by Raven-she will have a friend named Deer.

Charlie: Charlie is a veteran of World War II. He works for the Atlanta newspapers as a typesetter. He has long fingernails but doesn't bite them, because he works with dangerous chemicals. He has s/p hair, burst capillaries on his face due to his love of alcohol. He lives with his mother. He has been dating Vonnie for 5 years. He and Vonnie will wed when his mom dies. No one is sure if the mom is sickly or in good health. Only Vonnie has seen her or so it seems.

Charlie's mom: Lives with Charlie, but as mentioned previously no one has seen her. She is the proprietor of a motel and is an avid taxidermist. Not much else is known.

Aunt Mad: Vonnie's aunt. She is a closet nudist and has nudist books lying around the house. She likes ceramics. One, in particular, measures 8 inches high or so. It features a colonial woman and man-both of whom are quite distinguished. The woman, dressed to the nines in colonial garb and white wig, has a quizzical look on her face. Upon further study, turn her around and her gentleman friend is poking his hand up her colonial dress. Aunt Mad works for the Crawford Driving Club as a cashier. She is an original. Any unwanted telephone solicitation receives a: "Hell, no, she ain't here;she's gone to Edowah Diddly." Just one of her many zany expressions.

Harry: Is a young boy of 8. He doesn't like Charlie either. Even tho' he appreciates the skates Charlie gave him for Christmas. Charlie gave Stella "soap on a rope." Stella hated the soap and hates Charlie. Harry likes his Aunt Mad, the closet nudist, and has shown the ceramic ditty to his best friend, Bobby. Harry has buck teeth-cos it runs in Vonnie's family. He is an All-American kid who loves baseball. But doesn't understand the concept of nudism. He and Bobby get into many scrapes. Aunt Mad once saved Bobby from drowning in a foot of water. Bobby is indebted to Aunt Mad for saving his life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UY-kFODaZqE

"Jaws"

 

From Time Magazine's new issue, behind the scene photos from "Jaws" and Matt Taylor

P.S. My favorite movie-all time.

The Beach
Hundreds of extras gathered day after day on Joseph Sylvia State Beach in Oak Bluffs on Martha's Vineyard to shoot the July 4 beach scene. There, the filmmakers replicated a group of striped beach cabanas originally located on East Beach in Chappaquiddick, another Massachusetts island. The weather was unreliable in mid-June, cool and dark on some days. "Equally problematic were the scores of adult extras who began losing interest in lingering day after day on the frigid beach," writes Taylor. Though they were paid $2.50 an hour, there wasn't much incentive for some to stay on the cool beach for multiple days. When extras who were in one spot for one scene disappeared for the next, it caused major problems for the film's continuity.

* Jaws: Memories from Martha's Vineyard by Matt Taylor


Read more: http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,2078388,00.html#ixzz1QUgeezoK

 

 

 

 

"Jim Riggleman Resigns" and "Take this Job and Shove It"

WASHINGTON -- Just when the Washington Nationals were showing signs of success and stability, and just as the players were starting to talk about the growing respect for the franchise around the league, along came the surprise announcement that manager Jim Riggleman was quitting because he wasn't happy with his contract....

....They have won 11 of 12 and have moved above .500 this late in the season for the first time since 2005....

Riggleman resigned because the Nationals wouldn't pick up next year's option on his contract. The players didn't have an inkling that such a thing was brewing. Jayson Werth tried to make it sound as if it didn't matter.

"It's not going to change anything in here," Werth said. "We're the ones that have been making the pitches and hitting the balls and winning the ballgames, so we're going to keep going."

Riggleman is the second manager in the majors to resign this week. Florida skipper Edwin Rodriguez quit Sunday, but his team was struggling and in last place in the NL East.

"For whatever reason, whenever you resign from a job, and especially this job, it takes a lot of guts and a lot of thinking," White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen said. "They used to fire managers and now they resign. That's kind of untypical."

"Top Ten Letterman-Dallas Mavs"

The Mavs won the NBA championship. And I plugged along with them exhorting them to victory. The following clip is hilarious. "The top ten good things about winning the NBA crown":

Noteworthy:

#9: Receiving a congratulatory sext from Anthony Weiner

#8: Helped take the sting out of hearing the cancellation of Hef's wedding.

"From the Archives"

"Dear Frat Bro"
I grew up during the turbulent 60's. I began my education at my alma mater, the fall of '69. The U.S. was embroiled in the Vietnam War; dames, er, young women were burning their bras and girdles and were questioning their submissive roles to men; the Civil Rights movement had been raging for years. Words like "far out," "heavy," "dude," and "groovy" were becoming mainstream in the "hippie culture;" young people disillusioned with all the conventional ideas of their parents.

And a new music arrived on the scene. Psychedelic, heavy metal and folk were emerging. And yers truly was caught-up smack dab in the middle of it. And because I had a yearning to drop in and drop out and to further the cause, I wrote a column for Truck U.'s newspaper. My byline was Frat Bro.

Btw, the greek sororities and fraternities were taking a hit in new membership, as the "counter culture" was dismissing the old established ways.

Here's my column from back in the day. An advice column, if you will, allah Ann Landers, which was designed to help my ggggeneration cope with the new revolution:

Dear Frat Bro: I'm scared @#$%less, dude. LBJ has decided to intensify our presence in Vietnam. I'm an English major, who is in danger of flunking out of school. My lottery number is 69. I'm afraid that I will be classified 1-A soon. Any suggestions. Signed: Not a Fortunate Son.

Dear Fortunate Son: Get to the bookstore quick and buy every cliff notes ever made. How do you think I've stayed at Truck U. all these years. Dude, the Canterbury Tales is a wild ride if you get the unabridged version. But Homer, Socrates, and Aristotle are greek to me. BTW, I ain't no senator's son. And when the tax man showed up at my dad's place, the house looked like a rummage sale, yawl. Thanks for the query and good luck!

Dear Frat Bro: Your column is heavy and far out. And groovy, dude. My friends tell me there's an outdoor rock concert/festival in upstate New York in August. Lots of beautiful people going. Trying to find themselves. It's gonna be a weekend of partying, dude. I heard that Jimi, Janis, CSN, Santana, Jefferson Airplane and maybe Bob Dylan will be there. Are you makin' the scene? Signed: Blonde on Blonde/Volunteers For America

Dear Blonde Volunteers: It's gonna be da heaviest collection of misfits ever assembled in one setting. Unfortunately, Bob has become somewhat of a recluse since his motorcycle accident. But Country Joe and the Fish will be there. Canned Heat and Ten Years After. I heard that Country Joe may change his name to Southern Fried Joe. But it's still the same fish to me. Thanks for the interrogatory!

Dear Frat Bro: When you leave Truck U. in a few years, what are you going to be when you grow up? In other words, what are your career goals? Are you going to get into print journalism and travel the world? Become a d.j. and spin the platters? Enter the exciting world of television. Maybe join Ted Turner's
fledgling new hybrid UHF station? What are you gonna do, dude? Signed: Inquisitive at Truck U's Inquisitional Facility.

Dear Inquisitive: None of the above, dude. I have my mind set on entering the wonderful world of restaurant hospitality. I have applied at Piccadilly Cafeteria. They make all their food from scratch. Pies, salads, meats, and veggies. I can't wait. They say the hours are great and you are well compensated. They have a crackerjack crew of maintenance men with well-honed skills. That repair all your service needs. Check back with me in 30 years and I'll tell you how it's going. "TFTQ!"

Dear Frat Bro, I dig your column. It really helps my psyche. Can you help me with a serious problem? You're my last resort. I will turn 30 next month, and-as you know-the younger generation doesn't trust anyone over that age. I want to stay in the revolution, but I'm afraid I'll be persona non grata once the birthday fairy comes and leaves a quarter under my pillow. Can you dig my dilemma? What to do, dude? Signed: Far(m) out?

Dear Farm Out: I'm afraid it's over for you, dude. Once you turn 30, you'll want to move to the suburbs, have 2.5 kids, and start investing in a 401K. Enjoy it while you can! It will soon be Andy Williams, Frank Sinatra, the Carpenters, and Tiny Tim time. Forget Hendrix, Morrison, and the Airplane. Sorry, not negotiable in today's revolution.

P.S. Submitted for your approval, v.c.

"A HArd Day's Night"

 

"Go Mavs"

What a series! The Mavs won. Against the Heatles. Lebron, Dwayne, Bosh, et al.

And, thank goodness, there was no Kobe Bryant, no Kevin Garnett, and no Dwight Howard involved in the Finals. How refreshing!!

Dirk is the MVP. And has the monkey off his back about no title/ring.

"Colonel Sanders on 'What's My Line'"

This episode was aired before the Colonel became the Colonel as evidenced by the panel sans blindfolds.

"Thanks Youtube"

Why didn't they have youtube when I was young. Someone uploaded this and other videos of Paul Mac and his band in Rio in May 2011. This one is really good.

"Pink Cadillac"

 

"Screenplay"

Scene 1: Young teenage couple are sitting in front of the young girl's house, where she resides in the upstairs apartment along with her brother and mother.

"Would you like some of my cherry coke," the tall young man asks the young girl.

"I still have my lime sour," she coos.

A driver of a pink Cadillac suddenly appears in the driveway. The driver is weaving recklessly and smashes into a swing set. He comes to a halt after annihilating it.

"Darn, what in the world? Who is that?" the young man asks.

"That's my mother's boyfriend, Charlie. I'm so embarrassed!"

Next door an older woman sans bra appears on her front porch and surveys the carnage. It is unclear if she has on panties.

The young girl's mother, oblivious to the pink Cadillac, shouts from the upstairs porch, "Stella, you bought the WRONG tomatoes. Get on your bike, young lady, and go back to Lakewood Heights and get the right ones."

Before the young girl can tell her mom that she no longer rides a bike, a voice from the Cadillac says, "Ain't that right, Vonnie?" He is carrying a bag of charcoal, a carton of Winston cigarettes, and a bottle of Jack Daniels. He has long fingernails and his glasses are askew on his face. Perhaps from the collision.

The scantily clad woman, now sans panties, utters: "I'm a gonna shave my head and go down the railroad backwards."

"Zombie"

 

A zombie detour gives a whole new meaning to a mindless commute.

The popular AMC television show "The Walking Dead" began filming its second season here in Atlanta and is shutting down a state highway south of the city for most of this week.

The AJC reports that traffic is being detoured off the highway in both directions at East Main Street.

"It's a big inconvenience. I live right off of 20 so for me to go to McDonough where I work, I have to go all the way around through Clayton, which is extra gas," driver Demond Williams told Channel 2 Action News' Carol Sbarge.

Larson told the AJC that DOT issued a press release saying the highway would be closed for road work because it wanted to limit the amount of people showing up to watch the filming of TV show.

"The Walking Dead" stars Andrew Lincoln, Jon Bernthal, and Sarah Wayne Callies. From the show's website: "Waking up in an empty hospital after weeks in a coma, County Sheriff Rick Grimes (Lincoln) finds himself utterly alone. The world as he knows it is gone, ravaged by a zombie epidemic. 'The Walking Dead' tells the story of the weeks and months that follow after the apocalypse."

The Farrelly Brothers' "Three Stooges" has been filming here for almost a month, and "American Pie 4: American Reunion" is also shooting here. The Georgia Department of Economic Development is riding high on several major films either just released or soon-to-be-released. In a statement sent out Friday, the department highlighted the recent "X-Men: First Class," which was filmed on Jekyll Island in 2010. Upcoming movies "Wanderlust," "The Change-Up," and "Footloose" were also shot extensively in Georgia and metro Atlanta.

"Georgia is now among the top five states in the nation for film and TV production with more than 274 productions shot in Georgia from July 2010 through April 2011, bringing in more than $589.2 million in investment to Georgia," it said in the release.

Another major coup is the relocation of "The Family Feud" this summer from Orlando to Atlanta, where it will shoot more than 150 episodes in the hometown of host Steve Harvey.

"The Heatles"

 

 

 

"Go Mavs"

The Dallas Mavs are in the NBA Finals for the 2nd time. Ironically, they are playing the Heat ( Heatles with Lebron, Dwayne, Bosh et al ) who dispatched them in 6 games circa 2006.

The Mavs made a stellar comeback in game 2 rallying from 15 points down with 7 minutes to play. Unfortunately, the Heat came back to win game 3 by a scant 2 points.

Can the Mavs rally tonight in Big D? I hope so but it looks like a daunting task. It's the old guys ( Dirk, Marion, Kidd ) vs. the young guns from Miami.

Stay tuned....

P.S. Mark Jackson, NBA Finals tv analyst and former NBA player, is the new head coach for the Warriors. I like his commentary and his rapport with Jeff van Gundy, former coach of the Knicks. Good luck to him!

"With a Little Help From My Friends"

Ringo Starr - Yellow Submarine on MUZU

"Maybe I'm Amazed Contest"

Following the huge success of last year’s Band on the Run competition, we are very excited to offer fans another chance to win a host of Macca goodies with the brand new ‘Maybe I’m Amazed Cover’s Competition’ in celebration of the upcoming release of McCartney & McCartney II on June 13th/14th.

Whether you’re a part-time guitar twiddler, a karaoke crooner or a serious music maker in a band, all are welcome! Just film your cover of Paul’s track ‘Maybe I’m Amazed’, upload it to YouTube and follow the simple steps below to enter. Then get all of your friends to ‘like’ your video. The video with the most ‘likes’ wins! Good luck!

Follow the steps below for your chance to win:

Steps
1. Record your own cover version of Maybe I’m Amazed.
2. Visit Paul’s YouTube Channel www.youtube.com/paulmccartney
3. Log in and submit your video response to the official Maybe I’m Amazed music video. Located here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvCSGeCgz0k (follow the instructions in the video)
4. Get as many of your friends to like the video in order for it to win!
5. The winner will be the video with the most likes.


Dates:
The competition starts on the 26th May 4pm. (GMT)
Only videos uploaded to YouTube and submitted to the competition between these dates will be valid. (please don’t submit videos that have been already uploaded onto YouTube)
The competition will close for new entries: 16th June 4pm. Votes will still count until the competition fully closes on the 23rd June 2011.
Competition Ends: 23rd June 2011 4pm

Prize:
The winner will recive a deluxe edition prize including: ‘McCartney Deluxe Edition’ ‘McCartney II Deluxe Edition’ ‘Band on the Run Deluxe Edition’

"Randy 'Macho Man" Savage"

May 20th:

Pro wrestling superstar Randy "Macho Man" Savage died after having a heart attack while driving his Jeep Wrangler, Fox News confirms.

The accident happened in Seminole, Fla.

A source tells Fox News that he "suffered a heart attack while driving and hit a tree...."

Most every boy has been a wrestling fan. I was certainly one. From Lou Thesz who Louie Tillet called Lou Tezz because Louie was French; to Freddie Blassie who referred to his counterparts as pencil-neck geeks; to Farmer Powell who lost every match in his career; to the Assassins who featured the dreaded "Hangman Hold" and who were from "parts unknown" and who concealed their faces via masks-yeah, I was a big fan.

So goodbye to Randy Savage, a wrestling legend. And a hero to many young boys.

P.S. And whatever happened to Gorgeous George, Ray Gunkel, Chief Little Indian, Dick the Bruiser, and the Torres Brothers.

P.S.S. And whatever happened to Haystack Calhoun, a svelte 601 lbs.

"Ringo"

The interviewer claimed the fills on "She Said;She Said" and "Tomorrow Never Knows" were the best ever by a drummer. Let's add "A Day in the Life."

The following song was inspired by a comment from Peter Fonda. "I know what it's like to be dead!"



P.S. She Said and Tomorrow are from Revolver.

End of an Era as Vegas Casino Closes"

Las Vegas marks the end of an era this week as one of the US gambling mecca's last original "Rat Pack" casino-hotels, the Sahara, finally closes its doors.

Opened in 1952, the Sahara hosted everyone from Elvis Presley and Jerry Lewis to Frank Sinatra and the Beatles in the 1950s and 60s, and their photos still decorate the walls above the reception.

But in recent decades Vegas saw an explosion of mega-sized casino resorts which left the "small" Sahara struggling to fill its 1,700 rooms at the end of the famous Strip.

The death knell was sounded in March, when its owners since 2007, SBE Entertainment, announced that the casino-hotel complex with its more than 1,050 staff was no longer a viable business....

"But you know, I've been in this business for 50 years, time's up," he said, recounting anecdotes about Elvis and Clint Eastwood -- who made "The Gauntlet" here in 1977.

He also doesn't mince his words about the Sahara's latest owners.

"These are the worst we've ever had. They came in here from California and they are very arrogant. It took them about three and half years to take this hotel right down to the ground," he said.

"These people should be ashamed to themselves," he added....

"Jerry Lewis Retiring From Telethon"

Say it ain't so. But I guess it's time.

Jerry Lewis was my favorite comedian when I was a youngster. I remember making the trek via the bus line to see his movies at the Fox Theater.

I never saw the Lewis-Martin movies until after they split up. Viewing them on Saturday Night at the Movies on the tube in the 60's. Back when there were only 3 channels. NBC, CBS, and ABC. In Charleston there were only 2. It's hard to imagine that today, because there are literally hundreds on cable and satellite.

My great Aunt Mad never liked Jerry-said he was too silly. That's funny because she was silly. "Pull my finger" she would say as we were riding down the highway in her 57 Chevy Bel-Air.

So Jerry is gone even tho he will sing "You'll Never Walk Along" on this year's telethon. I will miss him.

P.S. And goodbye to Harmon Killebrew. Whose battle with cancer is over. Hammering Harmon hit over 500 homers in his career. Say hello to the Babe, Lou Gehrig, and Roberto Clemente for me. And Dizzy, Pee Wee, Jolting Joe, and Johnny Weismuller.

"World's Best Pizza"

What is it about pizza that makes us love it so much? Is it the savory cheeses, the pliable crust or the aromatic sauce? Perhaps it's the customizable nature of the treat. Each pizza is different; across the country -- the world, even -- foodies get to compliment their pies with the toppings they most love. You can call it an Italian creation, an American staple or even a Brazilian standby, but one thing's for sure: we all crave pizza. But where should you expect to taste the best slice?

#6 Rome, Italy

#5 Chicago

#4 Osaka and Hiroshima-this one is a surprise.

#3 Sao Paulo, Brazil

#2 New York

#1 Naples

There was no mention of Dominos, Little Caesars, Papa Johns, Pizza Hut, California Pizza Kitchen, or Jet.

"What's New"

It's been a week since I posted anything. The world is in a state of flux-as usual. I just read an article where two former bus drivers lost their savings in a Ponzi scheme and are having a hard time just paying the mortgage.

"I've been looking for jobs but I'm too old, nobody wants to hire you at this age so it makes it rough -- I drove a bus for 35 years, so what am I supposed to do now?"

Frances Wills, 67 years old and also a former bus operator, has 75 cents to her name and can't pay rent after losing her $156,000 retirement fund.

"I can barely pay for my home or even the utilities bill -- and I live in a mobile home."

Sad.

And the housing market is still the same. One of the network news shows claimed a four bedroom two story house in Atlanta and in a nice neighborhood costs a meager $50,000. Three years ago the house would have commanded $240,000.

Damn.

And the sports world? The L.A. Dodgers are now being managed by ML Baseball allah the NBA and the N'awlins Hornets. Couldn't believe the empty seats in Chavez Ravine the other night(s) when the Braves paid a visit. They are experiencing a record low attendance this year. And, yet last night, the San Francisco Giants had a full house while hosting the Bravos from Hotlanta. How quickly things change, eh?

Strange.

Enough depressing news. Happy Easter.

Damn.

"Blondes Have More Fun" or "Miss Clairol"

 

Does she or doesn't she? Only her hairdresser knows for sure. This is a picture of my liberal sister who hails from San Francisco by way of Atlanta Ga.

"Another Food Biz Article" When the Customer is Wrong

It's one of the oldest adages of the retail world: "The customer is always right."

Of course, very often the customer is wrong. Every day customers behave in ways that make the lives of waiters, cashiers, customer service reps and other retail workers miserable. And in many cases, these customers don't even realize how annoying they're being.

To rectify this, we've decided to talk to the people on the other side of the cash register to find out what sort of customer behavior gets on their nerves. To kick things off, we got some veterans of the restaurant industry to dish on their secret pet peeves and give some advice to diners.

Great Expectations:

Think about the last time you cooked dinner. How long did it take? Forty-five minutes? An hour? More?

Trust the Chef:

"Everybody has a degree in something or other, but when they get to a restaurant, everyone thinks they have a doctorate in cooking," he says.

Don't Snap at the Waiters:

Everyone knows it can be frustrating to try to get your waiter's attention during a busy dinner shift, but there's a right way and a wrong way to flag down your server.

"Raise your hand or make eye contact; don't snap [your fingers] and don't wave," says Dublanica. And don't even think about physically grabbing a waiter as they walk by, especially if they're carrying something.

Closing Time:

"Don't come in five minutes before closing," pleads Dublanica. "The guys in the back have been there for 12 hours."

Likewise, Trombly singles out patrons who "stay really late when they're clearly the last people there."

And, of course, there are comments from this article:

I've been in this business for 30 plus years, and have seen all the good and bad in humanity. Yes, there is good in all of us! But, I have to say in all this time the worst most abusive customers are people of color. Sure, you have 1 or 2 once a year that break the trend, but for the most part its the same story. I hate to say this, because I am not a racist, but it is what it is.

Just because you get offended by hearing this fact doesn't mean its not true, and that real people (the majority of us) should not be able to voice our opinion. I really wish this were not the case. FYI I'm NOT white either; I'm Asian.

"When I'm 64"

The following is from one of my subscriptions on youtube:

This video is the first rehearsal of some of the younger nedding09s. They are hoping to enter for the Mathew St Festival which takes place in Liverpool in August. Everything has been recorded on just one microphone so some of the instruments are not as balanced as they could be as through a mixing desk. I'm in there somewhere keeping a low profile.

"What's That Your Doing?"

With Stevie Wonder!

Players chip in to save coach’s life after Clippers decline medical coverage

Seven years ago, former Los Angeles Clippers head coach Kim Hughes was diagnosed with prostate cancer, and the ensuing aftermath will change the way you feel about several NBA types significantly....

NBA players Corey Maggette(notes), Marko Jaric(notes), Chris Kaman(notes) and Elton Brand(notes) all chipped in to pay for expensive life-saving surgery for Hughes, after the Clippers organization (read: Donald Sterling, noted worst person in the world) declined to cover the costs....

Declined to cover the cost of a surgery that would save their employee's life. While playing rent-free in an often sold-out arena in America's second-biggest television market. Unyieldingly evil....

"Those guys saved my life," Hughes said. "They paid the whole medical bill. It was like $70,000 or more. It wasn't cheap...."

"It showed you what classy people they are. They didn't want me talking about it; they didn't want the recognition because they simply felt it was the right thing to do."

"Kent State"

Kent State plays St. Mary's tonight in the NIT. That's National Invitational Tournament. Which concludes in New York's Madison Square Garden after opening round tournament games across the country. Does anyone remember Kent State? 4 dead in Ohio.

"Prissy" Tyra Banks is shelling out $31,000 a year to spend just three weeks on campus for three years.

Tyra Banks has been attending Harvard Business School since last year.

Enrolled in the Harvard Owner/President Management Program, the model-turned-mogul, 37, is intent on building her business savvy. "It's pretty exclusive," she told CBS News.

Pricey too. Banks is shelling out $31,000 a year to spend just three weeks on campus for three years.

"But I feel like it is so, so worth it," she said. "In order for my company to grow and be the best, and to reach these women, and to serve them, I needed the best. So I went to the best." < $31, 000 has got to be chump change for her >

The ex Victoria's Secret stunner has been interested in going back to school since dropping out of Loyola Marymount University to purse modeling at age 17. "The day I put college on hold because I got discovered....was one of the most difficult decisions of my entire life," she said. < We are so proud of you for going back to school. >

So how do classmates react to the model-student? "I get mixed reactions," she said. "There are little facial expressions....The chin goes back, like, 'Really?'...it's like why is a model going to Harvard? But that's actually a good thing, because when people have low expectations, you're just constantly going, 'Ta-da!' And they're like 'Wow.' It doesn't take a lot to wow them." < Say hello to Professor Kingsfield for me. And, hopefully, when you get your grade, you will have earned it >

"Aflac"

Disability insurer Aflac Inc fired comedian Gilbert Gottfried as the voice of its iconic duck on Monday after a series of Twitter jokes about the earthquake in Japan, Aflac's most important market....

Aflac said it would start a nationwide casting call to find a new voice -- and noted that it was already using a different voice in the Japanese market, where it is the No. 1 foreign insurer.

Meltdown threat rises at Japanese nuclear plant

There are people who believe God is mad at the Japanese; God was mad in New Orleans; God was mad at the Haitians; etc. What are your thoughts?

McLobster rumor? Nah! McDonalds should add these five items.

McLobster rumor: The sandwich, which appears seasonally at some New England and eastern Canadian McDonalds, was supposed to go nationwide. The chain has tweeted that the rumors are false. But that's all right, there are more McDelicacies to be made. Here are the Top 5 items that we'd like to see added to the McDonalds menu.

"Jennifer Anniston Gets a Virus!"

Because nobody-and I mean nobody-reads my blog these days except for rockhead-go lubys-hoots and sometimes slippery, I've got to try anything to get more traffic, hence the title.

The following is a Jen Anniston commercial gone viral. Funny stuff! And don't you wish your significant other was hot like her?

"Professor honored at halftime tossed from game for heckling"

You gotta love this one:

The part-time professor was ejected from the game for verbally confronting a ref from his courtside seat after a foul call. Minutes earlier, Kasmir and his family had been honored at halftime for donating between $10,000 and $24,999 to the university.

"Basically, I told the ref he was the worst ref I'd ever seen and he wasn't worth the $1,600 dollars they were paying him and that was it," Kasmir said. "And then he ejected me from the game."

Senior Vice Provost Robert Chernark defended Kasmir in remarks to the school newspaper, The Hatchet. "He did get a bigger ovation when he was thrown out than when he was on the court for his donation," Chernak said. "Actually we started to play better afterwards, so maybe we need to make it a fan a game or something."

"Win It For Wes!"

Days after star basketball player and beloved student Wes Leonard died of a heart attack immediately following a high school game, Fennville returned to the court to play its first 2010 playoff game against Lawrence, a team which had passed on its own home court advantage to move the game to a larger, neutral site closer to Fennville.

"If 6 Were 9" and "Hypnotherapy" and "The Hypnotic Eye!"

I have been engaged here lately. On Golden Pond, that is. Don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm 59 and doing a lot of reflecting. What's it all about, Alfie, and all that?

I remember when 69 was my favorite number, but as I get closer, I'm not so sure anymore.

My sis, Raven Shams, ( not made up ) completed her hypnotherapy class, 101, last night. 200 hours worth. And she looks forward to pursuing it further. Good for you, sis.

My high school, Rowdy High, is having its annual reunion this Saturday. I haven't been in 3 years or so, and since I last attended, the group has broken off into two factions. The concerned alumni vs. the unconcerned alumni. Not sure what it's all about, and not sure if I'll be attending. But I would like to see Slippery, Bob, Paul, Steve, et al.

Facebook is now alive and streaming through our consciousness. Whatever that means. Maybe this foray of mine would be more suited for the social network. Haven't seen the movie but want to.

An old alumni of Rowdy High passed away the other day, and it made me examine how life is fragile and all of the other cliches. And I see older people confined to hoverounds, walkers, and canes. Makes me wonder what's the point? Those people living in pain and sadness, who remember when they could do it all.

So engaged I am. The seventh voyage of the catfish is right around the bend, eh? As I look for more adventures. Gimme shelter!

"Chris Farley Interviews Paul McCartney-he of Fab 4 Fame"

Funny stuff. And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

"Heart Attack Grill"

....Well, consider the Heart Attack Grill, a Phoenix restaurant that specializes in high-calorie, high-fat food. The restaurant, which advertises that people over 350 pounds can eat for free, employed Blair River, a nearly 600-pound man as their spokesman....That changed on Tuesday, when River died at age 29.

The official cause of River's death is not yet known, but his friends have reported that he died of pneumonia after contracting the flu. My bet is the restaurant owners will argue the food they served didn't actually lead to his death. He died from the flu, after all. I won't buy it. Healthy, 29-year-old men don't die from the flu. I'd be willing to bet River died because his body was already so compromised from being morbidly obese....

To view the full story from Yahoo click the beginning link.

Cos working too hard can give you a heart attack!

"Elvira's Movie Macabre"

Last night's feature was the classic (?) "Teenagers from Outer Space." A low budget film from 1959.

Quick plot line: A team of spacemen arrive on Earth in a space ship. They have been searching the galaxy for a planet suitable to raise their herd of "gargons", a lobster-like (but air-breathing) creature which is a food staple on their homeworld.

The film failed to perform at the box office, placing further stress on an already-burdened Graeff,[ who wrote, directed,edited and produced ] and in the fall of 1959, he suffered a breakdown, proclaimed himself the second coming of Christ.[4] After a number of public appearances followed by a subsequent arrest for disrupting a church service, Graeff disappeared from Hollywood until 1964 and later committed suicide in 1970.

Cost-effective measures

According to Bryan Pearson, the crew employed many guerrilla tactics in order to cut costs. Director Tom Graeff secured the location for Betty Morgan's house for free by posing as a UCLA student (while Graeff had attended the school, he had graduated 5 years earlier). The older woman who owned the house even let the crew use her electricity to power equipment.[2]

Graeff shot in many nearby locations — mostly in the vicinity of Sunset Boulevard and Highland Avenue — to double as more important city landmarks. Graeff's steady hand and framing kept most of the real locations under-wraps, creating a great low-budget illusion of a small town.

Other cost-cutting ideas didn't pay off as well: the space costumes were simple flight suits clearly decorated with masking tape, dress shoes covered in socks, and surplus Air Force helmets. The use of stock footage in lieu of special effects and Spielbergian "looking" shots replacing actual visuals of the invading enemy spaceships seriously undercut the urgency of the ending. Props included a single bolted-joint skeleton re-used for every dead body, a multichannel mixer that the producers made no attempt to camouflage (even clearly bearing the label "Multichannel Mixer MCM-2") as a piece of alien equipment, and the infamous dime-store Hubley's "Atomic Disintegrator" as the aliens' focusing disintegrator ray.

"Chicago Transit Authority" Apologies to Mayor Daly!

Never heard this version. It's live and I'm digging it!



Of course, I like the lyrics after the break:

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.

Wonder where that came from?? Eh?

P.S. This is good too. Damn, youtube is the best!!



P.S. I like this version better!

"Troy Donahue and Me"

After the release of My Blood Runs Cold (1965), Donahue's contract with Warner Bros. ended. He later struggled to find new roles and had problems with drug addiction and alcoholism. He was married again in 1966, to actress Valerie Allen, but they divorced in 1968. In 1970 he appeared in the daytime drama The Secret Storm. In 1974 he was cast in his most high profile role, in The Godfather Part II as the new fiancé of Connie Corleone. His character was called Merle Johnson, Donahue's real name.

Tonite's foray into the infantile is a conversation between yours truly and Troy Donahue, who now resides among the stars.

v.c.: What was it like working with Sandra Dee? Were you two intimate?

Troy: There wasn't anything to it. She was hot for Bobby Darin; I couldn't get to second base with her tho' I tried. Great l'il actress.

v.c.: You two were the perfect 50's lovesick couple. I loved the theme song, "A Summer Place."

Troy: Why'd you mention that song, man. It still chokes me up.

v.c.: Sorry! Did you really live under a bridge after your flame fleeted like a ....

Troy: Candle in the wind. Yeah! That song gets me all misty-eyed, too. It's true. I had me a cardboard box-had it set up kinda neat, really. But when it rained-those southern California rain showers can be like monsoons.

v.c.: Did you know Marilyn-hang out with her?

Troy: She was too enamored with JFK to give me a look twice. She's been magnanimous here, but nothing during my brief time on the planet, vee.

v.c.: Speaking of which, what really happened on the grassy noll.

Troy: J. Edgar Hoover's up here and he could make things tough for me-I already owe him two cartons of cigarettes. He said Dallas would be 4-0 to start the season. "Cowboys? Tony Romo? No way," I said.

But I can tell you this. Oswald wasn't alone. It would blow your mind, if I told you who was in on it. "The Warren Report" was a freakin' joke-I kid you not.

v.c.: Do you ever get to see John and George?

Troy: They never hung out with me in the beginning. They thought I was too much of an apple pie and chevrolet kind of guy, but when John found out my last address was an underpass and I had all these addictions, well, he kinda warmed up to me.

v.c.: Is Jimmy Hoffa buried in "Giants Stadium?" In the end zone?

Troy: Man, you don't let up. Nah, he ain't buried there, but he swims with the fishes allah Lucca Brazzi. It wasn't the Union. Somebody said Danny de Vito was involved. Just rumors. They have 'em here, too.

v.c.: Did George W. know ahead of time that the Twin Towers were going down?

Troy: They don't talk about it much. Too sensitive a subject....for Heaven. We like to chill, mellow-out up here-it's not like on Earth, where it's am I gonna get this part? Am I no longer a teenage heartthrob? Where's my next meal gonna come from? Is the cardboard gonna hold out this winter? It's different. But we're waiting on Karl Rove to get here. To find out the skinny, if you know what I mean?

v.c.: How's the "King?" You know, Elvis?

Troy: He's a cool cat, vee. Last night he sang "In the Ghetto" with Ray Charles and Louie Armstrong. Satchmo can still bring it, but I can't understand a thing he says.

v.c.: Why are we hear? Shirley not to live in pain and fear?

Troy: John sang that one with Duane Allman a fortnight ago. Don't start getting philosophical on me, v.c.? Have you found a job, btw?

v.c.: News travels fast, eh?

Troy: At least you aren't living under a collosal cement block. I see things are gonna start looking-up for you. You've been througha lot of shit, dude!

v.c.: Thanks, Troy.

Before I could say my goodbyes I woke up! Was it a dream? Only the Shadow knows!

"The Dilly is Back!" ??

I wrote a lot of stuff years ago. And put a lot of it on floppy discs. Don't remember where I put 'em. I thought the following foray was quite good-even got a chuckle out of it myself, but then I wrote the durn thing. Not sure I could write like this today.

The Dilly Is Back 26-Aug-04 12:43 am
A few years ago the Brass made a startling move and did away with the dilly, a staple for roughly 20 years. And the dilly went away. We didn't mention it or weren't supposed to utter its name. It was okay if the guests said "give me a dilly," cos we were supposed to wink at each other and feign its existense. Every so often some of us would slip and say the word "dilly," or tell the guests we no longer had the "dilly," which confused the hell out of the guests and then we would have to explain the semantics.

"Yes, we no longer have the dilly, but you can still purchase the ex-"dilly" items at the same price as the "dilly"-we just don't call it that anymore."

"Huh," would come the normal reply.

What a move by the Brass. What brilliance! What savoir faire! What utter stupidity!

After mass confusion set in, the Brass decided to "bring back the dilly." Streamers and banners were made harkening its return.

Once again. What brilliance! What savoir faire! What utter stupidity!

The guests never quit saying dilly and yet we did away with it and then brought it back even tho it never really left in the first place. Confused? So were we!

Other companies, networks, and even individuals have used "bring back the" in an attempt to resurrect its/his/her's dwindling market share. Some have stolen our script, in order to "red herring" the public, allah "bring back the dilly." The following are submitted for your a & p in case you missed 'em:

1) Bring back The Billy: Attempting to market himself after retiring from PIC, Bronco Billy fashioned himself after Donald Trump and became known as "The Billy."

2) Bring back the Gilley: Pumpin' piano cousin to Jerry Lee. Efforts were made to bring back Gilley, Cissy, Bud, and the mechanical bulls, but John Q. Public had had enough.

3) Bring back the Hillary: If Kerry gets torpedoed be4 the election, Hillary is waiting in the wings with this slogan.

4) Bring back the Milli: Lloyd Thaxton's newest venture into lip-synching, stolen from the ex-dynamic duo.

5) Bring back the Nilli: Failed campaign by Nabisco. Nilli Vanilli wafers were outdone by the Oreos.

6) Bring back the Silly: Paul McCartney is foiled, circa 2004, when his sequel to "silly love songs" becomes a mega flop. Considered too 70's and Paul's bass line from the first song can never be duplicated.

7) Bring back the Philly: Pic tried this one, as well, but pulled the ads when it realized it didn't serve Philly Cheese steaks.

8) Bring back the Filly: Fox network misjudges the publics' fascination with westerns < 50's > and the nostalgia craze and bombs when its pilots "Grandson of Fury" and "Universal Velvet" are lambasted by the critics. < see universal dressing product if you work/worked for PIC Timeline: early 2000's. Also see frozen cranberry sauce >

9) Bring back the Willy: Reality tv show about a few whales that get beached on Fort Lauderdale's shoreline. Jury still out on this one.

10) Bring back the dilly: see the intro of tonite's post. It worked once, maybe it will work again.

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. Hoots, if you are reading, we now know you served during the v.n. era in Korea, but can you tell us of your exploits in the Great War, allah pictruandtru.

"True Grit"

I remember traveling to Panama City one summer circa 1969 with two of my best friends. We were taking Bob's Gran Torino. 4 in the floor and all that. We were headed to the beach in search of rest and relaxation. We had just graduated from Rowdy High, and, of course, we were full of ourselves.

We stopped at a hole in the wall restaurant one morning for breakfast. I wasn't much of a breakfast person, but my two buds were. When the server, er, waitress asked for our order Bob said eggs, bacon, and grits. I said grit is what John Wayne had in his last movie.

She failed to see the humor and branded me a smartass.

On TCM the other nite, the aforementioned movie was playing during "Oscar Month." Not surprisingly, John won his only oscar. The cast included Dennis Hopper and Robert Duvall.

"BYU Davies Suspended For Pre-Marital Sex"

Brandon Davies was suspended from BYU's basketball team for the remainder of the season because he violated the part of the school's honor code provision that prohibits premarital sex, according to a report in The Salt Lake Tribune.

"Another Dear Cat" ( This One Circa 2005 )

Dear Cat: I enjoyed your last lovelorn column. I work for a cafeteria chain-not Luby's or Furr's-who revoked my 3rd week vacation a coppola years ago. I recieve 2 weeks now even tho I've worked for my cafeteria chain for 15 years. New recruits-mgrs. from Hardees and Burger King-who sign on get two weeks from the get-go or jump street. ( antiquated urban slang )Do you think I should be pissed and demand my employer reinstate my 3rd week. I am getting tired and burnt out. Signed: Eagerly awaiting your reply to my query.

Dear Query: First of all, you misspelled receive. Helpful hint: i before e except after c. Now addressing your query. An analogy comes to mind. A snowball in hell whole is more likely to occur than you retrieving your vacation. Sorry, it's life in the big city and another example of the demise of the worker's benefits in corporate America. But remember this: Shirley, they care about your well-being and appreciate your loyalty and dedication during these difficult times.

Dear Cat: Lately, I have been working my ass off ( pardon my french ) for my employer. Working long days and nites. Working 6 days a week. Do you think the company is taking advantage of me, or should I suck it up knowing that one day my hard work will pay off. And perhaps I will climb the letter to success. Signed: As tears go by.

Dear Tears: Hard work gets you nowhere these days. I would suggest smooching your boss's derriere whenever he calls or confronts you with a situation. Tell him "you are the best boss I've worked with." "Your presentation at our last mgr.'s meeting inspired me to greater heights." Then smooch his heiney-literally. You will suckceed by using this approach. And I'm nit-picking here, but you misspelled success in your query. Remember it's k after c whenever the word suckcess is engaged in a sentence or spoken via word-of-mouth. P.S. Thanks for the Stones reference. And remember: you can't always get what you want; but if you try sometime you get what you need.

Dear Cat: I need your help. I am one of the lovelorn. My wife wants a divorce. Says I am absorbed in my job. And work too many hours. I missed my son's birthday the other day, and at Thanksgiving I couldn't enjoy the holiday cos I was worn out from making dressing in the bain marie. My G.M. said he hated universal dressing and we'd have to make it from scratch. What should I do? Quit my job and find another? Go to marriage counseling? Or divorce the nag and get on with my life and career. Signed: Lost in space.

Dear space: Tell your wife to stifle herself ( apologies to Archie and Edith Bunker ) and keep working those long hours and missing all of those family endeavors. One day it will pay off. Especially if you work for a savvy progressive company. You may even become a partner. And own a piece of the rock. And remember: there's more than one fish in the sea.

Dear readers: This concludes "Dear Cat" for tonite. Submitted for your perusal and approval,

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. The nite train is disembarking. Allah bored!

"1990 Cell Phone"

"Ronald Reagan"

One son says that his dad showed signs of Alzheimers during the end of his presidency' Another son refutes the implication. I enjoyed the Reagan presidency, especially after the Carter administration. Our country got back its swagger. With all that said, here's a great quote from the aforementioned ex movie star turned president:

The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination. ' - Ronald Reagan

P.S. And who can forget this one from "Back to the Future!"

"Tell me future boy. Who's the president in 1985?"

"Ronald Reagan!"

"Ronald Reagan??? Who's the vice president? Jerry Lewis?"

Indiana Eatery Pulls Billboards with Cult References

Because I spent most of my life in the food biz, any food biz newsworthy items interest me. To see the offensive billboard just hit the link!

The billboards included the statement, "We're like a cult with better Kool-Aid," over a glass containing a mixed drink, as well as the phrase "To die for!"

n November 1978, more than 900 members of Jim Jones' People's Temple drank cyanide-laced, grape-flavored punch in a mass murder and suicide in the group's compound in Guyana.

P.S. On another note, the two most popular entries on Golden Pond are at the top of my most current post; ergo, "Phi Zappa Krappa" and "77 Sunset Strip."

"Stallion Semen!"

New Zealanders will be serving up glasses of horse semen at the famed Hokitika Wildfoods festival next month, a "delicacy" that racehorse owner Lindsay Kerslake says will have extreme foodies "raring to go"....

"Horses are pure testosterone, you know. They have hardly any cholesterol, so the idea is you knock it back and feel like a stallion yourself," said Mr Kerslake, of Christchurch.

"You'll have as much zizz as a stallion for a week afterwards."

The NZ$10 shots won't be for the faint-hearted.

P.S. The keenest will be able to drink it au naturel, but the shots will also be available in cherry, licorice and banoffee pie flavours.

"7th Voyage of Sinbad"

One of my all time favorite movies. Right up there with "Casablanca"-here's looking at you, kid; "Gone With the Wind"-I don't know nothin' bout birthin' babies; "Jaws"-my husband was telling me your into sharks and we need a bigger boat; and "A Few Good Men"-you want the truth?

I'll leave "Citizen Kane" and the Fellini movies to someone else. My Aunt Mad humored me a lot as a kid and would haul me to the Twin Starlight Drive-In, so I could watch this Ray Harryhausen spectacular. Music by Bernard Herrmann.

"Facebook"

Facebook is something else. I just hooked up with an old friend of mine, who I hadn't talked to in over 30 years. Our last conversation via the telephone went like this.

"Harry, how would you like to be sipping a vodka martini, shaken not stirred, on a deserted island hideaway that you own?"

"Well, uh, yes!" I said. "What do I need to do. Sign me up!" Having a deed to an island seemed like a good deal.

"Would you like to retire, Harry, at an early age and sit around making sand castles without a care in the world?"

"Well, uh, yes. Sign me up. What do I have to do?" I always had a penchant for the ocean-the waves cascading, the seagulls mulling, the nice bikini clad women strolling, and I could always make a mean castle complete with moats sans drawbridge. Pun unintended. "Tell me more!"

"You'll have servants. Preparing your meals, maintaining your tropical island venue, and catering to your every desire(s)."

"Well, uh, yeah." I loved James Bond and could see myself as the next Sean Connery. Playing baccarat in the casino-hope it's close to my island paradise, but then if I'm rich who cares.

"Dix-neuf for zee dealer, moi, vingt for monsieur. You win again."

"So. sign me up. I'm game, old friend. What do I have to do?"

"Amway. Yes, Amway, brother! You sign up. Start selling the product. Get others excited. Have them sign up. Before you know it, it's a domino effect. You'll make thousands, dare I say it, millions. What do you say?"

I said no. And that's the last I heard from my friend, until a coppola weeks ago when I typed in his name on Facebook. A picture of him from the 70's appeared, and I knew I hit paydirt.

"The Heatles"

I'm liking Lebron James more and more each day. He's now calling his team, "The Heatles!" Because they sell out every venue they play.

"This One Bears Repeating?" ( Dear Cat )

Dear Cat: How is your new job? Seems I recall your last emplyer fired your ass. Didn't you work for those forkers a long time? Didn't you introduce a recipe-was it carrot souffle???-to the masses and received zero remuneration for your efforts? What the fork is wrong with that picture? Signed: Makes you want to join the ACLU, eh?

Dear ACLU: A lot of queries so let's begin with numero uno.

1) My new job is great. I love the new work, the new atmosphere, and most of my new team members, who have slowly adjusted to my eccentric sense-of-humour. Well, some of them, anyway. I don't have to taste the food all day like at the old digs. No more slurping turnip greens and blackeye peas every coppola hours while adding #'s to the old cholesterol count. No more concerns on whether Billy put the right amount of flour in the carrot souffle, [ segue, eh? ] or if Excellious weighed the sugar before adding it to the tea. Most of the stuff we use is heat and serve; or open a bag and voila!

2) Yes, I toiled and slaved for more years than I care to remember. I worked at H.W. [ acronym for Hell Whole ] which had a sterling reputation as the baddest of the bad. Rowdy guests out the kazoo who never quit gliding down the [ serving ] line from the moment we opened, til the millivanillisecond we terminated our day's work.

3) Yes, I received nada, zip, nil when it came to the fluffy product who some pronounced as carrot shooflay. [ not intended as a bigot slur as caucasians sometimes used the same vernacular. Also see his'n for more details. ]

4) There's a lot wrong with that picture, but in the long run [ apologies to the "Eagles" ] it was for the best. Thanks for the query, v.c.

Dear Cat: I read your column every chance I get. One of your recent forays-don't you refer to them as "forays into the infantile?"-revealed your boss to be a dickhead. I'm sorry to hear that, but, Shirley, the situation will become a reservoir of material. Have you thought of penning a book entitled "You may be a dickhead if...?" Along the lines of Jeff Foxworthy, eh? Signed: No Penis Envy Here

Dear Penis Envy: The book would write itself. But will change the title to: "You are a dickhead if:"

10) You drive 55 mph or less in the left hand lane of any highway, bi-way, or interstate.

9) You have to scrounge in your purse or pocket for a penny or correct change when purchasing an item(s) while others are waiting patiently behind your dickheadness.

8) You proudly exclaim while in the midst of others: I don't eat pork; I hate 2nd hand smoke; I'm a vegan; or my child is an honor student at Dickhead Elementary!

7) You stop on a dime on a busy, crowded concourse at any metropolitan airport.

6) You work for a company for 30 years or more and are terminated. "I'll be back." Apologies to Arnold!

5) You work for Nextell information, ergo 411, and you can't give me the correct phone number I' calling you for in the first place. Do you get paid by the call? Or what?

4) If you believe I can talk to 3-4 people at one time about 3-4 different subjects.

3) If you ever ordered fries without salt at any fast food joint. Same goes for ordering a burger sans pickle.

2) If you ever told the cafeteria attendant to put more food on your plate. And vice-versa. If you are a food service technician who proudly exclaims: "That's a serving!"

1) If you are yours truly's boss, and you don't treat him with dignity and respect.

Thanks for the query! v.c.

Well, this concludes tonite's edition of "Dear Cat!"

Until next time, v.c.

P.S. There will be no videos tonite. None of the 111 wussiest tunes of all time. Nada, zip, nil.

"A Little Late but...."

One of my favorite Christmas tunes.

"Merry Christmas"

It's Christmas time again, and it's snowing. The weather zealots nailed it predicting the white stuff a coppola days ago. You've got to hand it to the new technology. Years ago the blizzards would sneak up on the citizenry causing all kinds of havoc.

And this is my first white Christmas. It took a while, but some things are worth waiting for.

Perhaps Bing Crosby, the most popular singer of the Irving Berlin classic, is in a cow pasture somewhere singing "Lotta Doo Doo" and "White Christmas" first heard in the movie, "Holiday Inn."

Merry Christmas

"The World Misses You, John"

It was 30 years ago today that John Lennon died. I was watching the Monday Night Football game when Howard Cossell broke the news.

I miss him and the music he would have made.

I don't think the Fab 4 would have ever gotten back together.