"The Dilly is Back!" ??

I wrote a lot of stuff years ago. And put a lot of it on floppy discs. Don't remember where I put 'em. I thought the following foray was quite good-even got a chuckle out of it myself, but then I wrote the durn thing. Not sure I could write like this today.

The Dilly Is Back 26-Aug-04 12:43 am
A few years ago the Brass made a startling move and did away with the dilly, a staple for roughly 20 years. And the dilly went away. We didn't mention it or weren't supposed to utter its name. It was okay if the guests said "give me a dilly," cos we were supposed to wink at each other and feign its existense. Every so often some of us would slip and say the word "dilly," or tell the guests we no longer had the "dilly," which confused the hell out of the guests and then we would have to explain the semantics.

"Yes, we no longer have the dilly, but you can still purchase the ex-"dilly" items at the same price as the "dilly"-we just don't call it that anymore."

"Huh," would come the normal reply.

What a move by the Brass. What brilliance! What savoir faire! What utter stupidity!

After mass confusion set in, the Brass decided to "bring back the dilly." Streamers and banners were made harkening its return.

Once again. What brilliance! What savoir faire! What utter stupidity!

The guests never quit saying dilly and yet we did away with it and then brought it back even tho it never really left in the first place. Confused? So were we!

Other companies, networks, and even individuals have used "bring back the" in an attempt to resurrect its/his/her's dwindling market share. Some have stolen our script, in order to "red herring" the public, allah "bring back the dilly." The following are submitted for your a & p in case you missed 'em:

1) Bring back The Billy: Attempting to market himself after retiring from PIC, Bronco Billy fashioned himself after Donald Trump and became known as "The Billy."

2) Bring back the Gilley: Pumpin' piano cousin to Jerry Lee. Efforts were made to bring back Gilley, Cissy, Bud, and the mechanical bulls, but John Q. Public had had enough.

3) Bring back the Hillary: If Kerry gets torpedoed be4 the election, Hillary is waiting in the wings with this slogan.

4) Bring back the Milli: Lloyd Thaxton's newest venture into lip-synching, stolen from the ex-dynamic duo.

5) Bring back the Nilli: Failed campaign by Nabisco. Nilli Vanilli wafers were outdone by the Oreos.

6) Bring back the Silly: Paul McCartney is foiled, circa 2004, when his sequel to "silly love songs" becomes a mega flop. Considered too 70's and Paul's bass line from the first song can never be duplicated.

7) Bring back the Philly: Pic tried this one, as well, but pulled the ads when it realized it didn't serve Philly Cheese steaks.

8) Bring back the Filly: Fox network misjudges the publics' fascination with westerns < 50's > and the nostalgia craze and bombs when its pilots "Grandson of Fury" and "Universal Velvet" are lambasted by the critics. < see universal dressing product if you work/worked for PIC Timeline: early 2000's. Also see frozen cranberry sauce >

9) Bring back the Willy: Reality tv show about a few whales that get beached on Fort Lauderdale's shoreline. Jury still out on this one.

10) Bring back the dilly: see the intro of tonite's post. It worked once, maybe it will work again.

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. Hoots, if you are reading, we now know you served during the v.n. era in Korea, but can you tell us of your exploits in the Great War, allah pictruandtru.