Thursday, July 07, 2011

"!00 People Who Are Screwing Up America"

Never one to be topical, I recently read this book. It lists Jimmy Swaggart, Michael Jackson, Dan Rather, And Al Franken to name a few. Bernard Goldberg, the writer, is definitely a conservative.

There are 100 names-of course-and number one is Michael Moore. The others, while receiving many paragraphs, Mike doesn't get nary a one. His selection comes with his quote: "They are possibly the dumbest people on the planet...." Speaking of his fellow Americans, according to Goldberg.

I recommend the book, especially while visiting the powder room and/or reading room.

On a similar vein, I recently used the word bain marie in my last foray into the infantile. While heading to Piggly Wiggly today, the thought popped in my head about some stuff I heard while manning the counter at a cafeteria chain, which will go unnamed.

1) Swimps: Crustacean. Lives in the sea. Favorite food of Bubba. You may know them as shrimps, er, shrimp. Po boy, etouffee, fried, sauteed, cocktail, fried rice, scampi, creole-well, you get my drift.

2) Cabbages: If not mistaken cabbages does not appear in plural form.

3) Brussel sprouts: little cabbages.

4) Barbecue Beef Briscus: Sounds like something you would throw at the Olympics. Brisket, if you will.

5) Hurshpuppies: No explanation is needed or given.

6) Manaze: Try mayonnaise and who can forget Mayonnaise in an "Officer and A Gentleman."

7) Sweet Potato Shooflay: Not to be confused with Shoofly, don't bother me.

8) Fish Fill It: This is a fish sans bones.

a) I was often asked if the fish we served had bones. "No, it's Fill It." To which they would reply: "But does it have bones?"

9) Devil's Food Cake: Some guests never liked to hear the word "devil," so we would go with chocolate cake instead. However, that caused problems when the yellow layer cake with chocolate icing was similarly referred.

10) Seafood Bungo: I swear I heard this once from one of the team members. You may know it as Seafood Gumbo.

Shirley, I'll think of others, but these readily come to mind.

P.S. R Jus: The natural juice from the roast beef.

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