Tuesday, March 01, 2011

"Another Dear Cat" ( This One Circa 2005 )

Dear Cat: I enjoyed your last lovelorn column. I work for a cafeteria chain-not Luby's or Furr's-who revoked my 3rd week vacation a coppola years ago. I recieve 2 weeks now even tho I've worked for my cafeteria chain for 15 years. New recruits-mgrs. from Hardees and Burger King-who sign on get two weeks from the get-go or jump street. ( antiquated urban slang )Do you think I should be pissed and demand my employer reinstate my 3rd week. I am getting tired and burnt out. Signed: Eagerly awaiting your reply to my query.

Dear Query: First of all, you misspelled receive. Helpful hint: i before e except after c. Now addressing your query. An analogy comes to mind. A snowball in hell whole is more likely to occur than you retrieving your vacation. Sorry, it's life in the big city and another example of the demise of the worker's benefits in corporate America. But remember this: Shirley, they care about your well-being and appreciate your loyalty and dedication during these difficult times.

Dear Cat: Lately, I have been working my ass off ( pardon my french ) for my employer. Working long days and nites. Working 6 days a week. Do you think the company is taking advantage of me, or should I suck it up knowing that one day my hard work will pay off. And perhaps I will climb the letter to success. Signed: As tears go by.

Dear Tears: Hard work gets you nowhere these days. I would suggest smooching your boss's derriere whenever he calls or confronts you with a situation. Tell him "you are the best boss I've worked with." "Your presentation at our last mgr.'s meeting inspired me to greater heights." Then smooch his heiney-literally. You will suckceed by using this approach. And I'm nit-picking here, but you misspelled success in your query. Remember it's k after c whenever the word suckcess is engaged in a sentence or spoken via word-of-mouth. P.S. Thanks for the Stones reference. And remember: you can't always get what you want; but if you try sometime you get what you need.

Dear Cat: I need your help. I am one of the lovelorn. My wife wants a divorce. Says I am absorbed in my job. And work too many hours. I missed my son's birthday the other day, and at Thanksgiving I couldn't enjoy the holiday cos I was worn out from making dressing in the bain marie. My G.M. said he hated universal dressing and we'd have to make it from scratch. What should I do? Quit my job and find another? Go to marriage counseling? Or divorce the nag and get on with my life and career. Signed: Lost in space.

Dear space: Tell your wife to stifle herself ( apologies to Archie and Edith Bunker ) and keep working those long hours and missing all of those family endeavors. One day it will pay off. Especially if you work for a savvy progressive company. You may even become a partner. And own a piece of the rock. And remember: there's more than one fish in the sea.

Dear readers: This concludes "Dear Cat" for tonite. Submitted for your perusal and approval,

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. The nite train is disembarking. Allah bored!

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