Welcome To Golden Pond

Computer savvy I ain't, er, am not. I've come a long way and have mastered the art of copy and paste. But that's the extent of my knowledge. No flow sheets, graphs, etc. are in my resume.

That being said, my intro to G.P. continues to disappear. I have written the aforementioned at least three or four times. And saved the last one, in case my intro went the way of Harry Houdini, again. But couldn't remember where it was stored, so < light bulb > I decided to just write the damn thing as a post. Maybe then I'll remember where it is. And because it's publish or parish, er, perish time
here we go:

Welcome to Golden Pond, home to yours truly, v.c., your irreverent host, my charming wife, Kitty, and my two kids, Katlin and Charlie Jr. Katlin is 19 and loves to talk on her cell phone and shop in the malls, both activities draining the assets from my bank account, and Charlie Jr. is gainfully unemployed and sponges off ( pun unintended ) the Pond's reserves, as well. Hopefully, John Kerry will become the next commander-in-chief and give Charlie Jr. a job.

We have two pets, Penny the Poo, a pound dog, and Neil Diamond, a black cat, a stray rescued from the cold, cruel world. Our last pet, Atlassie, met an untimely early demise when he encountered the Big C. a couple of years ago. The clan on the Pond, except for Charlie Jr., believes that Neil Diamond is Atlassie reincarnated. There is a synchronistic story behind that, but we will postpone it for another time.

My employment venue is H.W., which is an acronym for Hell Whole. I once toiled at H.H. which is an acronym for Hell Hole., but due to the evolutionary curve < See Darwin's "Origin of the Species" > I have graduated to bigger and better things.

Writing is my passion and obsession. < apologies to Liz Taylor or Calvin Klein > And to tell you a little about myself, I enjoy sports, movies, and taking Viagra. I once tried Levitra but my 4 hour plus erection and the subsequent trip to the emergency room derailed that plan of attack.

I like romantic evenings, a good book, bubble baths, security, and holding hands. < now how did Kitty's profile make it in here >

Well, that's my intro. Written for at least the fourth time. Welcome to Golden Pond. Each submission will be for your approval and perusal. Signed, v.c., your irreverent host.

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. We once lived On Pond Jovi, but that was back in the day.