Gaffe

The Cards of St. Louis had a rally going. But leave it to Jeff Suppan, the pitcher, to make a monumental gaffe in the second inning. Down 2 zip the Cards were threatening to make things interesting. Suppan was on third via a swinging bunt and Edgar Renteria's double. But Suppan dilly-dallied on a grounder to second-he could have easily scored-hesitated and was thrown out at third, trying to retreat back to the base. Snuff the threat. Snuff the morale. Like letting a balloon go; all the air was gone.

My fellow blogger, hoots, [ Hootsbuddy's place ] wouldn't know a Suppan from a Renteria, a Pedro Martinez from a Tony LaRussa, a Jason Veritek from a Trot Nixon, etc. so we will attempt ( key word ) to explain the game to him. ( provided he views )

Baseball was invented by Abner Doubleday, appropriately back in the day. Abner decided to use a ball made of cowhide. About the size of an orange. A pitcher throws the ball to a [ batter ] who has a bat made of wood. ( see Louisville ) The batter wants to hit the thrown ball as hard as he can. If contact is made, the "hitter" runs in a square around things called bases. There are 3 bases ( first, second, and third ) and home plate, where the batter originally swings at the ball.

The batter must run fast around the bases to score a run. The opposition consists of 8 men in the field and one catcher, stationed behind the batter. His primary job description: catch the ball from the pitcher, in case the batter misses the ball. However, if the batter hits the ball over a wall or fence or designated target, it's called a home run. In this scenario, the batter doesn't have to run fast because he has an automatic run. But he must go through the theatrics of running around the bases-he just can't call it in. Plus, the batter wants to rub- it- in to the pitcher so he normally runs slowly. If he runs too slow, this may be called showboating. And the pitcher doesn't like this and may hit the next batter. With the cowhide ball. In that event, the batter gets a pass to first. But he may get thrown out of the game because he may "storm the mound." And a rhubarb ensues. ( No, hoots. I know your thoughts have drifted back to our once popular rhubarb pie, sold on our pie counters throughout the states, but this term is exclusive to baseball and means melee ) The batter normally wants to "kill" the pitcher because it really hurts to get hit by the cowhide baseball.

Each team of nine plays nine innings. And whoever scores the most runs wins the game. Each team gets 3 outs. And outs can be made a number of ways. Striking out aka a "K." ( 3 swings and "yer out" and you must take a seat on the bench ) Or grounding the ball to the fielder and his throw beats you to first. An umpire decides if you get to stay on the base, because he is the supreme authority on the field. Nobody likes the umps, even the fans, ( derived from the word "fanatic" ) cos they sometimes have to make "bang-bang" decisions. And if the men in blue [ umps ] decide against your team, then you have the right to boo. And you can yell derogatory insults, the most popular being "kill the ump."

Well, that's just a brief synopsis, hoots. That's how baseball, once the National Past Time, ( see the NFL, who use an oblong ball made of pigskin ) is played. The baseball foray is submitted for your approval and perusal.

The Bosox are about to win game 3. Poor Jeff Suppan. What might have transpired if not for the Gaffe.

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. The Bosox did win. Up 3 zip. Will history repeat itself. Can the Cards come back? Stay tuned....