"Zorro-the Fox"

Loved this show when I was a youngster. Thanks to Walt Disney for helping a little boy find some happiness in this crazy world. Apologies to Rick in Casablanca. I loved the song.

This bold renegade makes a "Z" with his blade.
A "Z" that stands for Zorro.

I liked the fox who dressed in black. Long before Johnny Cash. And his horse Tornado. Not pronounced like the weather disaster. Tor nah do, if you will.

My sister, the ultra liberal who hails from San Fran-where else, eh?-now calls herself Raven. She has a friend named Deer. "You need a new name, Cat," she said. So we bandied about a few options.

Raven: What about "Rolling Thunder?"

Me: Sounds like I have acid reflux. Nah!

Raven: "Hare Bear?"

Me: I have lost enough of my hair, and it has gone to my ears. And I don't want to have anything to do with double entendres. Nah!

Raven: Wolf?

Me: I like the sound of that one. But I think of Wolf Blitzer, and I don't want to be compared with him. And it might be too campy to ride the coattails of the "Twilight" genre. Nah!

Raven: Majestic Manatee

Me: It conjures up images of Steve the crocodile hunter, and I haven't gotten over his demise.

Raven: Smoker of Cigarettes?

Me: Is that a joke or what? And I'm trying to quit. Nah!

Raven: Bad Cholesterol?

Me: Catchy, but nah!

Raven: Don't Sweat Much For Overly Big Guy?

Me: Thanks for the compliment but too many words. A person might get tongue-tied saying all that, and I may have to hold his tongue down with a spoon while we're in the back of the ambulance. Nah.

Raven: Ship Don't Sink

Me: That's a possibility, but folks spouting my name might use the more familiar expression. Nah!

So in the end, I settled on the Fox, aka El Zorro.

Thanks to Walt Disney. And thanks to my sister, Raven, whose help was greatly appreciated.

P.S. "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine." You tell 'em, Rick.

P.S.S. I forgot I made a suggestion to Raven: If she ever wants to cease the name "Raven, a good one for her might be: "9 year old bicycle rider who must return to the grocery store in Lakewood Heights, because she bought the wrong brand of tomatoes. And the store is 5 miles away!" Who's got the spoon?