"Red Neck Version!"

Stevahino"


Th' edito' has given v.c. th' nite off. He's been complainin' of on overwawk, lethargy, an' burnout. Pore baby. So say finenite, v.c.

"Say finenite, v.c."

An' fo' tonite's fo'ay th' edito' submits this-sent in by v.c.'s old friend an' Rowdy High alum, Steve B. A bit of a set-up is required, howevah.

When we were rowdy elementary tikes Steve an' his fambly owned a colo' tv. Steve'd recount at "Dear Watson Elementary" ev'ry Monday th' colo's of L'il Billy Joe's vest, Host' western attire, Pa's palimino, an' Adam's toupee.

We were all invious. Wow! Fry mah hide! Someone at "Dear Watson Elementary Skoo" c'd view th' boob tube's few colo' programs.

In 61' Colonel Bob Griffif Show was in glo'ious b/w. Perry Mason, ditto. Th' fust year of Gilligan's Islan', ah Love Pansy [ all b/w ) etc. An' th' powers thet be were chintzy wif th' programmin' an' th' U.S. had only three channels. No, thet is not a misprint. "3" channels. NBC, which had th' peacock at th' beginnin' of etch show thet was broadcast in colo'; CBS; an' ABC.

Now yo' kin put 1500 songs on an IPOD. Who'd a thunk it back inna day when we were neckin' at th' drive-in? Buyin' a box of popco'n sans butter befo'e interin'. We thunk 8 track was th' grooviess invenshun on account o' miniskirts. An' th' country was aroused by slinkeys an' hula hoops. An' Chubby Checker sang a song thet delighted chiropracko's an' o'thopedic surgeons.

We watched Connie Francis an' Jedidiah Hamilton in "Whar th' Fellas Are?" [ circa 1960 ] ah watched it later on Saturday Nite At Th' Movies at th' end of th' decade. [ edito''s note: In 1960 th' afo'emenshuned was mo'e into Walt Disney, Zo'ro, an' Hopalong Cassidy ] Which also starred Yvette Mimieux. [ sp ] Now thet was a name yo' c'd sink yer teeth into. No Brittenny, Brittney, Ashley, Danielle, Destiny-yo' git th' drif'.

Wal, seems th' edito' has taken advantage of v.c.'s absence an' has rambled on, as enny fool kin plainly see. An' has decided t'fo'ego Steve's e mail, ah reckon. Oh, fine.

"Say finenite, v.c."

"Vee, whar is yo'?"

"Vee?"

"Vee?...

{ vee has lef' th' buildin' ]