Not sure what happened. Yes, we have theories. But theories are like ....You know the drill. Theories abound. Is it possible for a sharpshooter, allah Lee Harvey Oswald, to deliver two pinpoint shots high above the depository? ( see grassy noll ) Did Sonny Liston take a dive in round 7 of his match with the then Cassius Clay? Back in the day. Did John Kerry receive band-aid ( brand ) purple hearts? Only the Shadow knows! And even the infamous crimefighter may be held-up to scrutiny.
Once again, we will attempt to relay a post from the Yahoo to the Blog, Golden Pond. Hang on to your seats!
1) Because most of the new recruits hail from fast food establishments, each cafeteria will be required to have a scatter bar serving hot dogs, hamburgers, and fries in the dining room. 2 slaw/chili dogs plus fries for a meager $6.00 plus tax. Includes a drink. Nothing but dollar signs!!!!!!
2) Peanut Vendors in the lobby. "Get your hot fresh-roasted peanuts, here! $2.00 a bag!" The price will be based on fluctuations in the market. For those close to Plains, Ga., and because it's an election year, clever mgrs. should engage the services of the ex-president for goober nite.
3) Bring back Trevrep the Clown for Rowdy Kids Nite. Cotton candy, caramel/candied apples will be handed out to each child for a mere $1.00 a pop. Anyone who still has glossies of the Trevrep clown, please write to him @Trevreptheclown@pervertsrus.com. He would love to hear from you!
4) In keeping with the single play, double, play, triple play theme, our valued guests may add a ribeye, t bone, or filet mignon for an extra $5.00. In continuing with the baseball lingo, it will be called a HOME RUN!
5) Going out on a limb with this one, but give legitimate kids bread on a child's plate. Sure, kids don't like bread, especially rolls, but go for the gusto, cos you only go around once in this crazy mixed-up world. ( Apollo g's to Miller Beer and Bogie ) Who remembers when we were afraid to give jello to the little twits, er, kids?
6) Carnival Night-recommended on your slowest night. Everyone loves the fair, especially a game of chance. "Dunk the little lady in the bain marie" ( or fountain if you have one ) "Step right up, sir, only 3 balls for a dollar."Since we don't make dressing in bain maries anymore, each cafeteria should have an extra one lying around. Dunk 'em once, each recipient receives a small prize, a teddy bear, pix of Justin Timberlake, Brittany Spears, or Michael, er, Janet Jackson. Dunk 'em twice. Each contestant receives a medium-size prize,and dunk 'em thrice, each child receives a large teddy bear. Adult females receive a teddy for the boudoir, and adult males can have an autographed 8X10 glossy of the Nipple, courtesy of Janet J. Gay males may opt for the teddy if necessary.
7) Elvis Impersonation Nite: My friend and confidant, Alan Smithee, already has his set lined up, if approved by the brass. The playlist includes: "( Let Me Be Your ) Teddy Bear," in keeping with the spirit of carnival nite; and "Crawfish" from "King Creole." Guests may substitute any crawfish delicacy for any steak ( see Home Run )
8) Ronnie Nite: ( imho ) Any guest who is abusive, onery, loud, or obnoxious gets thrown out of the cafeteria. The Manager is then required to call the police, allah the crime series, "Cops." And, voila, another Reality tv show makes its debut. Rules require a call to "Red Lobster" to see if they will serve his sorry ass. Start training your team members well-versed in photography, especially hand held video ones.
9) Nostalgia Nite: This nite is reserved for the old promotions. Yes, we're bringing back smokeyard bbq, terrormisu cake, meatballs classico gas, steakhouse filets, strip steak, etc. To see if the hankering is still there for these delicious treats.
10) Hire me, vietnamcatfish, as the new marketing director. Some may recall I graduated magna cum rowdy at Truck U. back in the day. A little boning-up here and there and if the shoe fits ( apologies to the all you can eat steak promotion ) I'll wear it.
Farewell and adieu, v.c. Submitted for your approval and perusal.
2 comments:
I perused and approved.
As they say in the kitchen, "Go ahead on!"
(Today I figured out how to add links to the sidebar by tinkering with the HTML template. Go take a look.
And cause for celebration! The hit counter passed 100!)
still brilliant after all these years, but jesus god, hit spellcheck once in a while. you're embarassing yourself (again).
by the way, any hits from allybro?
stay brave.
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