"Basic Instinct Two"

 

One of my favourite flicks. Here comes two! 

"Donny and the DJ's or "Derek and the Dominos"

Not sure which band is singing this, but because it's late, here's Donny and the DJ's! Stay tuned for more assorted love songs.

"Band On The Run"

 

Thanks to all who responded to the "Rowdy High Reunion" piece. Because the editor of "The Pond" has been in mid-life crisis mode lately, he has found it difficult to write his forays into the infantile. Plus, where's the time?

Some moments I failed to mention in the last one:

1) Renee Rudin saying: "Who are all these old people?" She even limbered up her body with outstretched legs to show Alan an exercise for his back. Because she had had a few too many mai tais, she found herself in an awkward situation with a chair.

2) David Harper: My fav Beatles tune: "Here Comes the Sun!"

Alan Harper: My fav Beatles tune: "Hello, Goodbye!" which he thought was the quintessential Fab 4 tune. No disagreement here.

Sammy Whitehead: My fav Beatles tune: "In My Life!" [ this song appears in a recent episode-consult the archives! }

Yours truly: My fav Beatles tune is "I Am The Walrus!"

Sammy Whitehead: "You're joking?"

Yours Truly: "I am the eggman." [ "Man you should have seen 'em kicking Edgar Alan Poe" ]

3) Vicki Ludwig is a clutterer. I suggested "Clutterer's Anonymous" for her malady, and everyone thought I was joking, but my liberal sis, who resides in windy San Francisco, has been a charter member for years.

And Vicki's dog has his/her own apartment.

4) Chris Tackett's favorite teacher was Miss Spencer, who was affectionately known as "Turkey." Yes, she resembled one, because of the way she walked [ one leg turned inward [ pigeon toed ]] and that little wisp of hair above her forehead. Wonder what happened to her? She used to call me Chawls [ Charles ] when I decided to go by my middle name. She and I had a rowdy relationship, but I'd love to see her. And whatever happened to Miss Stephens?

5) I had a brief chat with Billy Evans, ex-proprietor of the Fulton Family Forum. He knew my liberal sister back inna day of 1963. And we talked about Shirley Black, another '63 alum, who I have engaged in e mail over the last year, even tho' she doesn't remember me, only that her friend, my sis, had a brother. She now lives in Hawaii and grows "fulofdandriffs." [ a type of flower ] Shirley told me that she and Billy were best buds at the beginning of the 60's decade.

Shirley, there were other memories from my perspective, but it's getting late, and my boss has been a prick lately, so I need my beauty sleep. I told him off the other day, and he is now treating the catfish with more respect.

Thanks again for the kind comments from those who responded. We had a ball-just like Bogie and Bacall, v.c.

P.S. Thanks to my buddy, Slippery, who happens to be an avid reader of my dysfunctional column. Too bad Keith Burke; Edward "All" [ Oil ] Morris; Keith Richardson; Rene Bowen; and all the good looking dames from back in the day decided NOT to attend. What were they thinking? Eh?

P.S.S. Maybe Kitty, my wife of umpteen years, will accompany me to the next "Rowdy High Reunion." 

"Rowdy High" Reunion

 

Once again it was time for another Rowdy High reunion. The boys and girls on the committee had been planning this thing for months. And the day of fruition came to pass March 25, 2006.

I got to see old friends. Steve Barton, now known to me as Steverino, who was gracious and hospitable as usual. At the end of the gala Steverino appeared to have had a few too many Long Island Iced Teas. He was sweating profusely and his hair was standing on end, like he had put his finger in an electric socket. [ don't try this at home ]

Slippery Nelson "made the scene" around eightish. He and I were in the "Band on the Run" back inna day at Rowdy High, and we talked about some old tunes-some we remembered but most we didn't. Brian Claxton joined in on the discussion as well. And we found out Brian has been ignoring his physical regimen lately.

And me and Slippery talked about the Pond. He was worried about my mid-life crisis, but I told him I was fine. He is agonizing over leaving his job after 29 years. Good luck, Slippery. It ain't easy finding a job these days when you're in yer 50's, so be careful. [ editor comment: It's a sad forking day when 50 year olds are shooed out to pasture and have to take demeaning jobs, because they are perceived as pieces of excrement scraped off one's shoes ]

I saw Bogus Bob, my friend from kindergarten. If you search the "Pond Archives" you will find a story about my childhood chum. He being 5 and I being 4. Bogie sang a few songs with "Donny and the DJ's" and hit all the high notes on "Can't You See?" ye olde tune from Marshall Tucker Band. [ editor's note: saw them in concert circa 1973 and it was the loudest concert I have ever been to, the decibels clearly outdistancing a jet airplane ]

Altho' Bogie has zero hairs on the top of his head, he seems to have resigned himself to his fate. We also talked about our children and when the next poker game would be. Nickel?

Fellow Rowdy High Alum, Donna Sosby left early, unbeknownst to the legion of Rowdians that she was suffering from a kydney stone. Get well soon, e mail buddy. Shirley, it will pass. [ editor note: pun is left to the discretion of the reader ]

The Harper twins were there, Alan and David, and they always play the "who is whom" game with each person they encounter. Me, I've never had a problem deciphering each's identity. Alan and David know everyone who ever went to Rowdy High including MILF Jackie Satterwhite's mom. [ editor's note: this scenario was true 40 years ago-may not apply today ]

David played guitar at the shindig and did a lovely job on "Here Comes the Sun," a fab tune from George Harrison. And Alan, allah Paul Mac, is strictly the bass player.
Good job fellas and good luck with your back, Alan. And apologies to Sam Whitehead and Howell Keown, the rest of the band.

I saw many other old friends. There was Sam Ahern, the CEO of a major hospital; David Englett, who laughed at all of my attempts at humour; Patsy King, a neighbor of mine two houses down in the old neighborhood; Charlene and Tim Peavy, who could be the poster boy for Rogaine. The boy has all his hair and then some.

Then there was Charlene Craig Nighswinder, Bogie's sister; David, the Wrightman, who was gracious and really enjoys himself at these things; Billy Evans; Renee Fowler; Landy Watkins; Chris Tackett; Ron Trimble; Danny McGriff; Gary Thomas; Vicki Ludwig Whitehead; Bobby White; Steve Watts; Eddie Murphy; the list goes on and on.

We had a ball just like Bogie and Bacall. Rowdy High forever, eh? And thanks and kudos go out to all who put in the work to make it happen. A splendid time was guaranteed for all; and they pulled it off.

P.S. I can't forget Renee Rudin, who was having a good time, and loaned me a coppola Virginia Slims. Just a silly millimeter longer, eh? And Cathy Magness, who is now a major star in church plays. Next stop: Hollywood?" 

"Dixie Chicks"

  

"Not Ready To Make Nice"

Well, we've got a new recording from the illustrious "Dixie Chicks." We all know of the problems the band has faced since Natalie Maines ran her mouth saying disparaging remarks about George Dubya.

"It's too late to make it right" she sings. Well, no shit, Sherlock. Ask anyone who has put their foot in their mouths. See Al Campanis and Jimmy the Greek for examples.
See Al Sharpton as well, but he gets a pass cos he's, er, African-American. And Harry Belafonte. And....

The tune is great. I'm listening to it while typing this particular foray. But because Natalie was haughty and living in a dream world [ see sports figures; movie stars; and the press ] her little snide remarks got she and the band into a career nosedive. Alienating her fan base. Country listeners aren't too keen on some [ chicks ] slamming the President of the U.S. What were they thinking, eh?

Great tune. Will people buy it? AOL says it reached the country charts at number 36.

If this ploy doesn't work, the next tune may be "Ready to Make Nice" cos spin numero uno didn't work.

It's all show biz, v.c. [ click here for the song ]

The words:

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

"The Magic Keybored"

 

Camera: Pan across room; zoom in at person sitting at chair in front of a computer-who appears to be exasperated as he slowly pecks the keys on his keyboard. Stymied, he looks downcast wringing his head in his hands.

Narrative: Meet v.c., author of Golden Pond. A tall, handsome man of lineage who is attempting to write the first words to his new book, "What Was I Thinking?" a searing expose of the food biz.

He has pounded away on that keyboard for years, gaining little notoriety. But tonite it changes. Because the new keybored he finds at a garage sale will transform his life forever. For little does v.c. know, he will soon compose a magnificent, critically acclaimed NY Times best seller in the Twilight Zone. On the "Magic Keybored," tonite's episode. Submitted for your approval! 

"I'm So Tired"

It's not so much that I'm experiencing a mid-life crisis per se but I am looking at the world and my part in it with a new pair of glasses if you will.

My new quest is to have fun and not work my life away, especially for a bunch of ass wipes, who consider you just another brick in the stalls.

This weekend I worked hard and tonite I am pooped. P-o-o-p-e-d. Basically in the foot region where my dogs are beat. After a good nite's sleep, I will shirley recuperate. And be ready to tackle the world again.

Mid-life crisis smisis. v.c.

"Thanks"

Thanks go out to my two friends, who replied to my last post, the one about writing about the restaurant biz. Those two have always inspired me to greater heights whenever they commented on my forays into the infantile.

Then there's my old buddy, CajunBalls au Vin, who is one of the funniest people I have ever met. Our personalities meshed, and we used to create shtick when and while we both worked at Hell Whole, my ex employment venue, so's we wouldn't go insane with all the drama we used to encounter from guests and team members alike. If he and I could spend some quality time together, we could write the funniest screenplay ever. By drawing on our experiences at H.W.

Because the hour is late and working tomorrow is yours truly-plus I need my beauty sleep-the editor of the Pond will sign off. For now.

Gimme shelter, v.c.

"Write About What You Know...."

Is the general consensus of advice to fledgling writers. I'm not so sure this writer fits into this category, because he has been writing daily for 5 years. Damn, time flies when your havin' fun.

So after considerable thought, the author of G.P. has decided to write an expose on the wonderful world of the food biz. Coming soon to this web site.

Stay tuned!

P.S. We, who have savored the food biz experience, know that it ain't what it's cracked up to be.

"Quickie Foray From The Mothers of Invention"or "We're Only In It For the Money!"

 

Thanks to the departed Frank Zappa.

P.S. I'm lost amidst a sea of wheat; where people speak but seldom meet.
The mid-life crisis continues! 

"4000 Holes in Blackburn, Lancashire" or "I'd Love to Turn You On"

 

"And tho' the holes were rather small.... 

"Words On a Pop Album?"

 

Just another coup by the boys from Liverpool. As one sage once put it, "Who'd a thunk it?" 

"Johnny Mattress, er, Mathis"

Well. from what I've heard, that's what they called him back in the day!

P.S. From "Same Time Next Year"

"Collage This!"

  

"Just Push Create"

A nice song from the 70's. Just a young lad was I.

"Just Like A Young Girl Should!"

 

When last we left the enigmatic v.c., the poor boy was mired in the depths of a mid-life crisis. Seems as if nothing has changed. His continuing saga is spiraling downward, if all reports are true, for in search of the mystical verve is he.

The ed. recommends scrolling down to find "Brown Sugar!" Words reprinted here with no one's consent. Sorry!

Gold coast slave ship bound for cotton fields,
Sold in a market down in new orleans.
Scarred old slaver know he’s doin’ alright.
Hear him whip the women just around midnight.
Ah brown sugar how come you taste so good
(a-ha) brown sugar, just like a young girl should
A-huh.

Drums beating, cold english blood runs hot,
Lady of the house wond’rin where it’s gonna stop.
House boy knows that he’s doin’ alright.
You should a heard him just around midnight.
Ah brown sugar how come you taste so good
(a-ha) brown sugar, just like a black girl should
A-huh.

I bet your mama was a tent show queen, and all her boy
Friends were sweet sixteen.
I’m no schoolboy but I know what I like,
You should have heard me just around midnight.

Ah brown sugar how come you taste so good
(a-ha) brown sugar, just like a young girl should.

I said yeah, I said yeah, I said yeah, I said
Oh just like a, just like a black girl should.

I said yeah, I said yeah, I said yeah, I said
Oh just like, just like a black girl should.

"Circa 1967-'The President's Analyst'"

 

The key moment in The President's Analyst is when Severn Darden offers Sidney an M16 to hold off The Phone Company's private army. Pacifist Sidney at first refuses until Darden insists: "You wanna change the world? Take the gun!" This one-off joke is pretty scary as it acknowledges that even here in America, effecting social change is a frustrating process that takes decades and makes do-gooder liberals look ineffective. The opposition is more likely to use force as a first option. As it is, non-violent Sidney is quickly seduced by his machine gun and becomes an instant Che Guevara

From DVD Savant Review! 

"I Think It All Started When [ As A Kid ] I Had A Curious Fascination With The Unknown"

 

editor's note: The condition of author, v.c., has not improved. Verve this! 

"Mid Life Crisis"

 

editor's note: v.c., author of G.P. is currently experiencing a mid-life crisis. Hopefully, his column will regain its verve shortly!

P.S. Is verve a word? 

"Editor For G.P. Is Taking the Night Off"

 

Tonite's photo is from "Rear Window." Me and Kitty once saw this film at an old ex-Cinerama Theatre. The place was huge.  

"Another Classic"

 

The Pond would be remiss if it didn't show a clip from back in the day every now and then. 

"Reunion"

 

The above reads: [ circa 1976 ]

Lorne Michaels: Hi, I'm Lorne Michaels, the producer of "Saturday Night". Right now, we're being seen by approximately 22 million viewers, but please allow me, if I may, to address myself to just four very special people - John, Paul, George, and Ringo - the Beatles: Lately there have been a lot of rumors to the effect that the four of you might be getting back together. That would be great. In my book, the Beatles are the best thing that ever happened to music. It goes even deeper than that - you're not just a musical group, you're a part of us. We grew up with you.

It's for this reason that I am inviting you to come on our show. Now, we've heard and read a lot about personality and legal conflicts that might prevent you guys from reuniting. That's something which is none of my business. That's a personal problem. You guys will have to handle that. But it's also been said that no one has yet to come up with enough money to satisy you. Well, if it's money you want, there's no problem here.

The National Broadcasting Company has authorized me to offer you this check to be on our show.. [ holds up check ] ..a certified check for $3,000. Here it is right here. A check made out to you, the Beatles, for $3,000. All you have to do is sing three Beatles songs. "She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah." That's $1,000 right there. You know the words - it'll be easy.

Like I said, this is made out to the Beatles - you divide it up any way you want. If you want to give less to Ringo, that's up to you - I'd rather not get involved. I'm sincere about this. If this helps you to reach a decision to reunite, it's well worth the investment. You have agents - you know where I can be reached. Just think about it, okay? [ shows the check again ] Thank you.

P.S. During the show which featured George Harrison, Paul was visiting John at "The Dakota." Supposedly, they considered heading to the NBC Studios, while watching the show. Alas, they didn't.  

"Collage This"

 

EOM 

"Rubber Soul"

 

Because the ed. is tired he has decided to retrieve an album cover from yesteryear.
If you can see the captions, you'll notice "Norwegian Wood" has George on sitar; Paul plays fuzz bass on "Think for Yourself;" and George Martin plays harmonium on "The Word" and piano on "In My Life!" Which if you click on the link to follow is presented for your listening pleasure. Etc.

Ah, as one poet laureate once remarked: "They don't make 'em like they used to." 

"Sympathy For the Devil"

I'm not sure if this link will still be here tomorrow, but it's one of my favourite Stones' songs. Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo!

P.S.

Mick Jagger supposedly was inspired by Charles Baudelaire's "Sympathy."

"I Get Around"

 

I'm gettin' tired of driving up the same old strip....

I used this picture a few weeks ago. After posting I noticed this l.p. [ long-playing ] was recorded in mono. No, not the disease, but as opposed to stereo. Hard to imagine but throughout the decade of the 60's, albums could be purchased in stereo or mono.

Why?

Because stereo was the incoming "new" thing and not everyone was privy to the new sound via a stereo system.

Time flies when yer havin' fun, eh?

"Stella Liebeck"

 

Does anyone remember Stella Liebeck? Hint: "I'd like a sausage-egg biscuit and a hot steaming cup of coffee. Can I have the manager check the accuracy of the temperature? Oh, he says it's 180-190 degrees. Thank you! Yes, cream and sugar. Hold on, Junior. I've gonna put this molten coffee cup between my legs and ....
If this didn't give it away, click here!