Hell, Yeah!

It's been two days since you [ loyal readers ] have had any correspondence from the Pond. The Pond was burned out. And possibly suffering from post-traumatic election syndrome. [ there's a country-western song here, Shirley ]

I watched the American Music Awards last nite. Piqued by the resurrection of some 40 year-old vintage footage of the Fab 4 that was lost in the vault, allah Geraldo Rivera.

Otherwise, don't think I would have watched. It was a happening, of course. And what strange bedfellows. Funk, hip-hop, rap, country-western, ( see above ) pop, and alternative. The beat goes on. All sequestered together in one grand hall.

Rod Stewart sang an old Louie Armstrong song?, instead of "Maggie May" or "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy. Back in the day, old Rod was one of me favourites. He sang with Jeff Beck, The Faces, and then went Soho, er, solo. One back in the day tune was entitled: "Attractive Female Wanted" from "Blondes Have More Fun:"

I'm tired of buying Penthouse and Oui and Hustler [ pronounced "hustle er" for the rhyme to follow ]
It's Friday night I'm all alone still a bachelor
She said she'd call me when she'd finished work
Haven't heard a word all day
I may not be Warren Beatty or Muhammed Ali [ dated reference, eh? ]
(Attractive female wanted)
I ain't asking a great deal, just a female to move in with me
(Attractive female wanted)

I'll share all my records, toothbrush and car and color TV,
Honestly
A single girl for my single bed is my remedy
(Attractive female wanted)

And Gretchan Wilson sang an ode to all the redneck girls in attendance. Wonder what Janet Jackson and Snoop-Dog thought of her song?

http://www.hit-country-music-lyrics.com/redneck-woman-lyrics.html

And the enigmatic Snoop sang a duet with someone-sorry I'm outta the loop-which had a catchy hook about "pimps in da crib."

And Usher won a bunch of awards. And introduced "Fantasia" proclaiming "you'd have to be from another planet not to have heard of this new singing-sensation."

Guilty as charged. I must be from Venus [ 20 million miles away, eh? ] or Uranus or "The Thing From Another World," cos I ain't heard of her.

Kitty, my wife, said she may have surfaced as a result of American Idol fame. ( Please see Clay Aiken and others for more details )

And "The Desperate Housewives" introduced an act. Seems their show was bumped this week so the A.M.A. could air. One of the housewives forgot to dress completely as she was missing a bra and something to cover the midriff portion of her body.

And Jimmy Kimmel was the m.c. And paraded a Mexican gardener sans shirt a coppola times during the festivities. In a spoof of the Housewives. Like "Dallas" I have never seen an episode.

And Bon Jovi won an honorary lifetime achievement award. And the irrepressible "Bono" thanked everyone from Earth to Uranus in his lengthy acceptance speech.

And Sheryl Crow won. And Alicia Keys. Don't know any of their songs-sorry, outta the loop time, again.

And basketball legend-in-the-making, Kobe Bryant presented an award. And the boo-birds were in full force. Because of the Shaq/Kobe feud.

And after wading through act after act after act, I finally got to see the 2 minute blurb from the 4 lads from Liverpool. Introduced by Richard Starkey in England.

Usher won the last award and the show mercifully came to a close. And I was getting sleepy....so sleepy.

Yes, the Pond was suffering from burn out. But the resilient title character returns.

The following submission is submitted for your approval and perusal. From the re-energized Pond. Ready for new transmissions. From Earth to Uranus.

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. Bono thanked Dick Clark for helping him in his career. Is this the same Dick Clark who wouldn't grant an interview to Michael Moore in "Bowling for Columbine?" Grandstand, er, Bandstand.

P.S.S. And who was the young cowboy who won "best entertainer of the year?" He seemed outta place with the rappers and the hip-hoppers. With his sheepish, almost apologetic, acceptance speech.