Clemens returns to mound, hits 88 mph in independent league game

SUGAR LAND, Texas -- Roger Clemens was back on the mound at age 50, striking out hitters again.
Pitching for the first time in five years, Clemens tossed 3 1/3 scoreless innings Saturday night for the Sugar Land Skeeters of the independent Atlantic League.
Clemens faced the Bridgeport Bluefish and struck out two, including former major leaguer Joey Gathright to start the game. He allowed one hit without a walk and threw 37 pitches.

More on Roger Clemens' return

Related links

Perry: Clemens return a success Roger Clemens talks about his comeback Astros owner open to signing Clemens

More MLB coverage

Scouts from the Houston Astros and Kansas City Royals were on hand to watch Clemens' comeback -- for however long it lasts and wherever it leads.

"Too Funny"

http://youtu.be/w1TKGtai7og

"Home Run 1980"

http://youtu.be/OO2_49TycdE

"Free Water at Chick-Fil-A"

Free water.


As a friend of mine once penned: I report; you decide.

"Rerun"

You Are Getting Sleepy

Another archived post from back in the day. Seems me and my peers were having our monthly and obligatory manager's meeting. This particular meeting would be conducted by Briggs, our regional manager, and we would have a special guest speaker, Mr. Deft Itsallgood.

Our company was struggling at the time and a new regime was taking over. With different ideologies, a good bit of the team was balking and having a difficult time embracing the transition. And as a result, our meeting would include a blurb or two about "change."

Written in January 2003, here's "You Are Getting Sleepy." :

The gold medallion was swaying back and forth, back and forth. Our eyes were mesmerized, watching its every move. The room was still except for a melodic voice telling us that we were getting sleepy, very sleepy. We were encouraged to let it go. Unwind. Relax. To imagine we were on a desolate, deserted tropical island, whose female citizenry frollicked topless in their tiny thong bikinis. ( My dream, anyway ) The medallion continued its journey from side to side. Yes, we were getting sleepy. So sleepy. Our eyelids seemed weighted. We were powerless to keep them open. Sleepy, so sleepy....

It was time for another monthly manager's meeting with our fearless leader, Briggs, who called the meeting to order.

"All right, good to see everyone. Let's get started. Hey! You two dinosaurs in the back! If you don't mind, the meeting has begun."

I could overhear the two dinosaurs whispering to each other as they made their way to their seats.

"I hope I won't have to comparmentalize any creativity in the 'change meeting.'" said one.

"Stay brave," said the other. I had never seen him before. Probably a new recruit. He was 40 ish, maybe 50 ish with a portly build and receding hairline. ( I learned later he had been in the political arena. )

"Let's get down to business. You all know why we're here. Gonna be some changes. But, first, you got to change. Change is healthy, inevitable, and necessary. Gotta change your m.o. Questions? Terry? Go ahead!"

Terry was Terry Dacktle, a longtime mgr. team member, who retired from the company but couldn't pay his mortgage and had to make a hasty return.

"By m.o., do you mean modus operandi?"

"Terry, do you want to join Bronto Saurus on the unemployment line again? [ Bronto was an ex LSU QB who turned pro. Unfortunately, he couldn't beat out Billy Joke Tolliver and the Saints cut him. Then he was hired by my company- on the fast track- but ultimately couldn't adapt there either and they cut him ]

Briggs continued: "It's time to get down to brass tacks, fellas. Without further adieu, it's my great pleasure to introduce to you the master of ceremonies. Mr. Deft Itsallgood. He will be conducting the 'change meeting workshop.' Let's give it up for Deft!"

"Thank you, r.m. Briggs for that wonderful introduction." Deft told us his life history and then rambled on about the "C" word. We immediately discovered that people don't like change.

"Damn, this is good," I thought. "I never knew that!"

Deft encouraged us to be engaged, and right off the bat, Mr. Garrison, longtime dinosaur g.m. raised his hand to speak.

Deft: "Yes sir!"

Mr Garrison: "Change is bad. Change is bad...."

Poor fella lost it before we had a chance to get into the meat and potatoes of change. Briggs mercifully escorted him from the room. We found out later that he is recovering nicely at the sanitarium. And that the thorazine has been effective and that he will soon be allowed visitors. But his recovery will be a painstaking affair. We, the mgrs., made a pledge to visit him collectively, time permitting.

After the fracas with Mr. Garrison, we trudged onward. We learned that in human behavior 20% of us accept change readily; that 50% of us are "on the fence" with a wait and see attitude; and that 30% will never buy into any changes.I looked around the room. About 20 or so of us. According to Deft's theory, 4 of us would go with the program. 10 of us were on the fence, and 6 of us would oppose any and all attempts at change. I wondered who was who.

Deft said it was break time. Giving us time to let this new theory sink in. "Take 30 minutes for lunch, boys, and when we get back we'll watch 'Toy Story' from Disney." As we were milling about, the two dinosaurs that Briggs had admonished earlier were whispering:

"Thank goodness, I didn't have to compartmentalize."

"We're not out of the woods yet, mi amigo. Stay brave."

"Thanks. A man's got to know his limitations."

"Let's eat. I'm starving."

"Me, too."

"Think we can find a computer? I want to access my blog."

"Huh?"

"Let's eat. It's a long story."

"How 'Bout Them Braves?

WASHINGTON -- Chipper Jones has seen a lot in his 19 seasons with Atlanta. Even he hasn't seen anything like what the Braves did Friday night.
Atlanta was down 9-0 after five innings with Washington Nationals star pitcher Stephen Strasburg on the mound. The Braves came back to take the lead in the top of the ninth, after the Nationals tied it Atlanta pulled out a wild 11-10 win on Paul Janish's run-scoring bloop single in the 11th.
"I don't even know where to start," said Jones, who drove in two runs with a single in the Braves' four-run eighth inning. "I still can't believe it. I mean, 9-0. That's never happened to me since I've been here."

P.S. What can you say about the tragic shooting spree in Colorado? Why are there so many troubled kids today?

"Help!!!! Shark"

Amity Island and a classic pic from my favorite movie ever!!!

"Best Burgers in the US"

The burger, America's quintessential comfort food, can now be enjoyed in an impossibly endless number of ways. There are round-the-clock burgers at 24-hour roadside joints and ephemeral late-night burgers sold out in mere minutes; burgers grilled in hundred-year-old cast-iron broilers and burgers steamed in state-of-the-art ovens; burgers crafted from Kobe beef imported from Japan and burgers made with Black Angus beef from just down the road. It's clearly a great time to love the burger. Here, Food & Wine names the best burgers in the U.S.

P.S. With all due respect, the catfish makes the best burger. Juicy and succulent. As it should be.  

P.S.S. The creative writing mood has struck me again. I would like to continue with my screenplay.

For those who missed it, here's the link.

"Growing Old and Having Fun"

 A tip of the cap to ibbq4u2 who sent me this.

"Application for Employment"

"Democrats Have More Fun?"

Leave it to Hootz to give me an engaging link via Facebook and his own web page, Newshoggers: lhttp://www.newshoggers.com/blog/2012/06/republican-movie-titles.html

I added a few to the list. Not sure if mine reside on the left or the right.

"Raging Bullsh**"

"The Best Years of our Lives....Not"

"The Graduate ( Who Can't Find a Job )"

"Citizen's Pain"

"442 Years in Prison"

I don't think he's gonna make it.

"New Jub"

"I don't have to worry cos I got a j....u....b." From a school teacher ( elementary school ) when questioned by her in-laws about what would happen to her if she and her husband get a divorce. 


Doesn't say much for the state of education, but the Democrats are always saying we need more teachers which always gets a rousing applause.Mitt is taking the opposite approach.


Anyhoo, yours truly has a new jub, er, job.. I'm trying to get my sea legs ( pun unintended due to the fact that I live on Golden Pond and have the moniker of catfish by way of Vietnam), because I ain't as spry as I once was.


Not really the reason for less GP posts. Well, perhaps one of the reasons.


More to be revealed.

Gwyneth Paltrow Defended By The-Dream After 'N---- In Paris' Tweet

By Gil Kaufman







Gwyneth Paltrow has a close relationship with Beyonce and Jay-Z, so it made sense that she's been hitting The Throne's European tours. During their recent performance in "Paris," however a tweet from Gwyneth set off a firestorm of backlash, prompting The-Dream to come forward and defend Gwyneth.You see, because she's besties with Jay and Beyoncé, Paltrow has the kind of pull that allowed her to watch alongside B from the stage while Jay and Kanye West were performing hit single "N---as In Paris." Singer/songwriter The-Dream apparently snapped and tweeted a picture of Gwyn grooving onstage, with a caption that read, "Ni**as in Paris for real @mrteriusnash (the dream) tyty, beehigh."






That comment, sent from Paltrow's account, set off a firestorm on Twitter, where fans and bloggers ripped the actress for seemingly using the n-word. The blog Bossip.com wondered if, "Gwyneth might be getting a little too comfortable around her black friends."






Paltrow hit Twitter on Sunday with a response that read, "Hold up, It's the title of the song!" That defense elicited responses ranging from, "People are such babies. It's a freaking song title," to one that read, "It's not the title of the song when you use it to refer to people you know in real life. Don't play dumb."






The-Dream, however, stepped in to defend his pal, explaining, "Fyi Sorry for the Confu I typed Ni**as in Paris for real from Gwens phone. My bad I was Fkd up please excuse it! We were lit!"






He then went on to post a series of peeved tweets in reaction to fans calling him out for his defense of Paltrow. "N---a doesn't have any power over me which is why this will be the last thing I say about it," he wrote. "A word means something when u react to it! ... Context is everything. Meaning it in the context as a Song which is how we Sold it to the world!!!!!! It is what it is ... And actually N---az was in Paris! LOL. Stop wasting God's time and do something with your life. Love not war."






Later, He once again took blame for posting the caption and promised his followers that, "Trust me. If I felt a mfkr was trying me on that tip that was that close to me I would've been arrested. Be nice." The arguments kept coming and finally this week, The-Dream summed up his feelings on the top by writing, "WE GIVE THE WORD TO MUCH POWER!"

"Robin Gibb Dead at 62"

Robin Gibb died a few days ago of cancer. Which was preventable had he had a checkup.


RIP Robin. And here's my favorite Bee Gees song:

Free pizza? Por favor! Pizza chain offers free pies with order in Spanish

If Rosetta Stone is not helping you distinguish "que" from "quien," maybe a passion for pepperoni will do the trick.

The Texas-based chain Pizza Patron, which has traditionally marketed to Hispanics, is offering a free, large pepperoni pizza to anyone who orders in Spanish between 5 and 8 p.m. on June 5.

As USA Today reported earlier this week, the campaign has drawn critics from all sides.
"Maybe they thought it was a cute thing to do, but I think it's discrimination," Marcela Gomez, president of Hispanic Marketing Group, a Latino marketing firm in Nashville, told USA Today. "As an advertising agency, I would never recommend this to my client."

Meanwhile advocates for English as the official language of the United States also took issue with the company's approach.

"It seems to punish people who can't speak Spanish, and I resent that," Peter Thomas, chairman of the Conservative Caucus, told USA Today. "In public areas, people should be speaking English, and that includes pizza parlors."

Pizza Patron regularly targets Hispanics with its promotions, and in 2007 the chain started accepting pesos, a move that also drew criticism.

Eduardo Gonzalez, an owner of Pizza Patron stores in Las Vegas, said the company was simply trying to thank its customers for supporting the chain and to have some fun. He said everyone was welcome to come in for the deal, and only a basic "una pizza, por favor" is needed. In fact, Pizza Patron is only giving away one type of pizza, a large pepperoni, so the ordering should be uncomplicated.

"It seems to punish people who can't speak Spanish, and I resent that," Peter Thomas, chairman of the Conservative Caucus, told USA Today. "In public areas, people should be speaking English, and that includes pizza parlors."

Pizza Patron regularly targets Hispanics with its promotions, and in 2007 the chain started accepting pesos, a move that also drew criticism.

Eduardo Gonzalez, an owner of Pizza Patron stores in Las Vegas, said the company was simply trying to thank its customers for supporting the chain and to have some fun. He said everyone was welcome to come in for the deal, and only a basic "una pizza, por favor" is needed. In fact, Pizza Patron is only giving away one type of pizza, a large pepperoni, so the ordering should be uncomplicated.

Gonzalez said he expected long lines at the stores June 5, and Pizza Patron stores will be handing out coupons for both discounted specialty pizzas and for free large pizzas, so people who do no have the time to wait can get their free pie at a later date. (No need to speak Spanish to get the coupon.)

Pizza Patron is headquartered in Dallas and boasts 102 locations in seven states.
There are five Pizza Patrons in Las Vegas: 2885 E. Charleston Blvd. Suite 102, 3510 Bonanza Road, 1979 N. Nellis Blvd, 2305 E. Sahara Ave, 721 N. Rancho Drive.

More information on the pizza promotion and the local stores can be found at pizzapatron.com.

Man who fathered 30 kids says he needs a break—on child support

And you thought Octomom had her hands full—a Tennessee man who has fathered 30 children is asking the courts for a break on child support.

Desmond Hatchett, 33, of Knoxville has children with 11 different women, reports WREG-TV.

The state already takes half his paycheck and divides it up, which doesn't amount to much when Hatchett is making only minimum wage. Some of the moms receive as little as $1.49 a month. The oldest child is 14 years old.

Hatchett explains how he reached such a critical mass: He had four kids in the same year. Twice.

Back in 2009 when Hatchett was in court to answer charges that many of the mothers were not receiving child support, he had 21 children. At the time, he said he was not going to father any more kids, but he ended up having nine more in the past three years.

The state cannot order Hatchett to stop making babies. He hasn't broken any laws, according to the report.

"Donna Summer-Dead at 63"