Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Sloganless Revisited
Back in my incubating period as a fledgling writer on the Yahoo, I submitted these ideas to the brass for their approval and perusal. They were jingles for my company. Slogans, if you will.
They never saw the light of day. Evidently, the brass decided to go outside the company and hired a "Marketing Director." His ideas didn't pan out, and they hired another "M.D." and another ad agency. Still mired in the proverbial quagmire, what might have occurred had the savvy ad types enlisted my aid.
Perhaps my company would still be listed on the N.Y. Stock Exchange. Maybe we would not have endured the heartbreak of bankruptcy and ye old musical chairs syndrome, evident today. And perhaps the Hootster would still be calling the shots at his old venue, H.W. [ Heaven Whole ] Who knows? But it wasn't meant to be. Que sera sera.
Maybe a savvy ad type will peruse the following and decide to use one of them in his/her next ad campaign. The following exercise in futility was written in late 2001. And here it is:
New theme songs and slogans for Piccadilly; Submitted for your approval.
1) Hey Dude.
Don't make it bad.
Take a sack home and you'll feel better.
( sung to the Beatles "Hey Jude" )
2) To All The Dillys.
Weve served before.
We're glad you came along.
We dedicate this song.
To all the dillys we've served before.
( sung to "All The Girls" by Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias )
3) Dilly Love Songs.
You'd think that people would have had enough of dilly love songs.
I look around me and I see it isn't so.
Some people want to fill the world with dilly love songs.
And what's wrong with that?
I'd like to know.
Cos here we go.
Again.
( sung to Wings' "Silly Love Songs" )
4)SuperDilly Dreamin'.
I'd be safe and warm.
If I was in La. [ Louisiana ]
Superdilly dreamin'.
On such a winter's day.
( sung to the Mamas and Papas "California Dreamin'" )
5) I Get A Pound.
I'm getting bugged driving up and down the same old strip.
I gotta find a new place where the food is hip.
I get a pound.
Plenty of times.
When they cut my corned beef.
Or when they cut my roast beef.
I get a pound.
( sung to the Beachboys' "I Get Around" )
6) Love PIC Madly.
Don't you want a dilly?
Might see Milli Vanilli.
Don't you love PIC as you're walking out the door.
Like you've done one hundred times before.
( sung to "Love Her Madly" by the Doors )
7) Oh, Lord.
Won't you buy me a signature meal?
My friends all buy dillys.
I must make amends.
( sung to "Mercedes Benz" by Janis Joplin )
8) Looking For Food.
In all the wrong places.
Looking for food in all the wrong faces.
Looking for food.
( sung to "Looking For Love"by Johnny Lee from the "Urban Cowboy" soundtrack )
9) Somebody's Dilly.
It must be somebody's dilly.
It's got to be somebody's dilly.
It's so fine.
I try to shut my eyes.
But I can't get it outta my sight.
It's gotta be somebody's dilly.
( sung to Jackson Browne's "Somebody's Baby" )
10) Imagine.
Imagine there's no combos.
I wonder if you can.
No best value.
A brotherhood of pans.
Imagine all the rowdy customers.
Living life in peace.
You may say I'm a dreamer.
But I'm not the only one.
I hope someday we'll serve you.
And the dilly will be as one.
( sung to "Imagine" by John Lennon )
Well that be it. No signature farewell and adieu at the time. And approval but no perusal. Evolution, eh?
Farewell and adieu, v.c.
P.S. Due to the late hour, no postscripts tonite.
Posted by vietnamcatfish at 10:08 PM 1 comments Links to this post
2 comments:
Ah, the memories...
It seems so long ago.
I was just this evening telling someone about the good old days. Compared with today's business model managing a Piccadilly was like being curator of a museum...surrounded by treasures without a price fading into obscurity. How many people know how to make mayonaise or break down a round? Even the management skills were light years ahead of what prevails today. We taught dishwashers to become bakers or chefs, but today the concept of developing people is considered not cost-effective.
Sad, tragic loss.
Everything today is homogenized. Gone are the days where "Ack" takes a large Halibut and meticulously saws it into filets. And then sells it to the public after a dose of salt and pepper, aka combination seasoning, and paprika flour and soybean oil.
Or a veal hind? Or chuck? Mayonnaise-I remember my first time messing it up, and Milton, the wayward special payroll chef and worker of about 3 days a week-minimum-had to fix my faux pas.
Of course, he just handed me the recipe card and said "make this."
Today's world of business claims they want to develop people. And they have catchy advertising hooks. But there's something missing. Wonder how the folks at Delta and Northwest feel after today?
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