"Bedroom Golf"

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls.

2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.

4. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to well formed bunkers.

8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played , or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage players equipment for this reason.

9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.

10. Players should ensure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course.

11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case.

12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of, alignment with, and approach to the hole.

13. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.

14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owners request.

15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

"When My Hair Is A Tangled Baretta" "Apologies to Er, Well, Uh, Robert Blake"

 
 

One of my favorite songs from back in the day: "Monkberry Moon Delight!"

P.S. Thanks again to "Youtube" 

"Gimme Some Truth!"

 
 
 

WALLACE: Mr. President, welcome to "FOX News Sunday."

BILL CLINTON: Thanks.

WALLACE: In a recent issue of the New Yorker you say, quote, "I'm 60 years old and I damn near died, and I'm worried about how many lives I can save before I do die...."

WALLACE: When we announced that you were going to be on "Fox News Sunday," I got a lot of e-mail from viewers. And I've got to say, I was surprised. Most of them wanted me to ask you this question: Why didn't you do more to put bin Laden and Al Qaeda out of business when you were president?

There's a new book out, I suspect you've already read, called "The Looming Tower." And it talks about how the fact that when you pulled troops out of Somalia in 1993, bin Laden said, "I have seen the frailty and the weakness and the cowardice of U.S. troops." Then there was the bombing of the embassies in Africa and the attack on the Cole.

CLINTON: OK, let's just go through that.

WALLACE: Let me — let me — may I just finish the question, sir?

And after the attack, the book says that bin Laden separated his leaders, spread them around, because he expected an attack, and there was no response.

I understand that hindsight is always 20/20. ...

CLINTON: No, let's talk about it.

WALLACE: ... but the question is, why didn't you do more, connect the dots and put them out of business?

CLINTON: OK, let's talk about it. Now, I will answer all those things on the merits, but first I want to talk about the context in which this arises.

I'm being asked this on the FOX network. ABC just had a right- wing conservative run in their little "Pathway to 9/11," falsely claiming it was based on the 9/11 Commission report, with three things asserted against me directly contradicted by the 9/11 Commission report.

And I think it's very interesting that all the conservative Republicans, who now say I didn't do enough, claimed that I was too obsessed with bin Laden. All of President Bush's neo-cons thought I was too obsessed with bin Laden. They had no meetings on bin Laden for nine months after I left office. All the right-wingers who now say I didn't do enough said I did too much — same people.

They were all trying to get me to withdraw from Somalia in 1993 the next day after we were involved in "Black Hawk down," and I refused to do it and stayed six months and had an orderly transfer to the United Nations.

OK, now let's look at all the criticisms: Black Hawk down, Somalia. There is not a living soul in the world who thought that Usama bin Laden had anything to do with Black Hawk down or was paying any attention to it or even knew Al Qaeda was a growing concern in October of '93.

WALLACE: I understand, and I ...

CLINTON: No, wait. No, wait. Don't tell me this — you asked me why didn't I do more to bin Laden. There was not a living soul. All the people who now criticize me wanted to leave the next day.

You brought this up, so you'll get an answer, but you can't ...

WALLACE: I'm perfectly happy to.

CLINTON: All right, secondly ...

WALLACE: Bin Laden says ...

CLINTON: Bin Laden may have said ...


WALLACE: ... bin Laden says that it showed the weakness of the United States.... [To get the complete transcript click here! ]

Gimme some truth, v.c.

P.S. Today most people on an aol poll believe Bill Clinton is more credible than Condi Rice, who disputed most of the former president's contentions that he went after osama bin laden like a man posessed. Or like stink on ship.

P.S.S. Just gimme some truth, eh? 

Im sick and tired of hearing things
From uptight, short-sighted, narrow-minded hypocritics
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth
Ive had enough of reading things
By neurotic, psychotic, pig-headed politicians
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth

No short-haired, yellow-bellied, son of tricky dicky
Is gonna mother hubbard soft soap me
With just a pocketful of hope
Money for dope
Money for rope

No short-haired, yellow-bellied, son of tricky dicky
Is gonna mother hubbard soft soap me
With just a pocketful of soap
Money for dope
Money for rope

Im sick to death of seeing things
From tight-lipped, condescending, mamas little chauvinists
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth now

Ive had enough of watching scenes
Of schizophrenic, ego-centric, paranoiac, prima-donnas
All I want is the truth now
Just gimme some truth

No short-haired, yellow-bellied, son of tricky dicky
Is gonna mother hubbard soft soap me
With just a pocketful of soap
Its money for dope
Money for rope

Ah, Im sick and tired of hearing things
From uptight, short-sighted, narrow-minded hypocrites
All I want is the truth now
Just gimme some truth now

Ive had enough of reading things
By neurotic, psychotic, pig-headed politicians
All I want is the truth now
Just gimme some truth now

All I want is the truth now
Just gimme some truth now
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth

"Post for Kitty"

Kitty is the love of my life. For those that don't know, she is my wife. We have been married for many moons. Speaking of which, Kitty loves to look at the stars, planets, and celestial bodies.

I have been in love with her since the first day I saw her many harvest moons ago. Spaeaking of which, we both dug Neil Young back in the day, and we have seen him in concert at least twice. Once at the Fabulous Fox and once at the Omni, which is no longer there, replaced by Phillips Arena.

Me and Kitty saw Paul Mccartney at the Omni circa 1991 and 1995, the former once chronicled in an earlier foray where we tripped the light fantastic on row 5 or 6; and the latter time was viewed from the nose bleed seats.

We have seen Paulie twice at Phillips, and each time it was marvelous. Apologies to Fernando, he of the hideaway.

But Kitty's fav recording artist is Bobby Dylan, he of the nasal sounding voice. We've seen him in concert, and once Kitty travelled to Gainesville to see him per her lonesome.

Today our younger son-grammatically correct but sounds like he's a member of the James Gang, er, Jesse James Gang. He turned 19 today. Instead of spending time with the family, he hopped in his car and headed northeast. He had a gig in South Carolina of all places with his band, he of the drums.

It wasn't like yesteryear when we had a cake, sang happy birthday, opened presents, and headed to grandma's house so he could get his card which contained a crisp dead president.

So me and Kitty celebrated in our own way, we of the advancing age syndrome. Well, me anyway. Kitty is 39 and holding. How we celebrated is our little secret. But the old Charlie Rich song comes to mind, he of the "Behind Closed Doors" recording.

So here's to the advancing empty nest syndrome, and life with my only love. My wife, Kitty.

We're not getting older; we're getting better, v.c.

P.S. Apologies to the cliche old timers like to use.

P.S.S. Happy birthday, son. And tonite's song is dedicated to Kitty

"Farewell and Adieu Revisited"

So long sweet potato souffle.

Likewise the wonderfully gooey creamed spinach and the tangy lime Jell-O with shredded carrots inside.

Yes, Golden Pond said goodbye to all that Monday with the abrupt closing of the 27-year-old Davis Sisters Cafeteria on Bon Jovi Lane.

"God have mercy," said a stunned May Wynn, raising one hand to her chest as if she were about to faint upon seeing an announcement on the eatery's door.

The retiree summarized the sentiments of a steady stream of would-be customers who showed up during the noon hour. Many pulled on the door in disbelief before slowly turning back to the parking lot and considering where their next meal would come from.

"Open the forkin' door," one man exclaimed in horror. "I want my beef liver and onions!"

"I really don't know where we'll go now. We've been coming here, sometimes several times a week, ever since we got married 16 years ago," said Francis Queeg, holding hands with his wife, Sandra.

"Sandra don't cook too good," Francis continued. "She can't even boil water."

There's a dependable drill at the cafeteria, where diners were oh-so-used to picking up those turquoise trays, still warm from a vigorous washing, and sliding them along past simmering pans full of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and broccoli. "Gravy? Serve you?" the servers would ask. "Butter? Hey don't put 'em in your pocket. We quit chargin' y'all years ago!" A gentle pressure for decisionmaking pushed the customer line along at a steady pace. Twinkling desserts -- from Key lime pie to strawberry shortcake -- beckoned from within easy reach.

The cafeteria had many loyal diners, but not enough, said Willy Loman IV, a vice president of Davis and Daughters, based in Catfish Hollow. "It takes 6,000 to 7,000 regular customers a week to support a cafeteria. That's because we feed people for $3 or $4 apiece. It's not like Pandora's Box or some other places that can charge $15 per check. And we have only been getting about 4,500 customers a week the last few years. And most of them were old fogies with 'old timers' disease."

The cafeteria closed without notice, said Sam Loomis, property manager for Pon Jovi Cos., the Myers-based owner of Haddonfield. "It was a surprise. Hair today, gone tomorrow," he said.

Loman, who bristled at the nickname bestowed upon him by the angry guests [ "Loman-on-the-Totem-Pole" ) said that the cafeteria's 40 employees would be offered other jobs in the company "if they want to move. But we aren't payin' movin' expenses. Let 'em catch a Greyhound or hitch hike or grab the Kontiki." The Sisters have 12 remaining restaurants in Prague, Tijuana, and Maine. The closest one is in Kittybunkport, he said. "All our other locations are strong and doing fine."

Besides restaurants, Davis and Sisters, which is privately owned, also has operations that supply food to nursing homes and hospitals.

But it's the venerable cafeterias that have the highest profile with Golden Ponders, especially retirees.

The Sisters isn't the only cafeteria chain to pull back in recent years. Louisiana-based Piccadilly Cafeteria has closed more than two dozen locations since 2001. After purchasing another cafeteria chain known for its egg custard, broiled liver, and poor sanitation. And Luby's of San Antonio shuttered at least 25 outlets in the Southwest.

None of that was any consolation for Golden Ponders on Monday. "It's just sad," said Laurie Strode, a fan of the broiled fish. I once asked 'em what kind of fish it was, and one of the servers said it was 'fish surprise.'" She was among those dismayed by the cafeteria chain's assertion that business was weak. "There was always a steady line of wheelchairs and walkers, especially on the weekends."

In recent years, Davis and Sisters had tried to attract more families. They had started sponsoring kids' night every Thursday, bringing in magicians and a crowd favorite, Trevrep the Clown. It also had begun to offer a 99-cent meal for children on weekdays and all day on weekends. None of that did anything for profit margins though-in fact, they lost their ass, er, shirts; it was merely an attempt to boost total customer counts closer to that magic range of 6,000 to 7,000.

The exit of the old girl still leaves Golden Pond with at least one cafeteria chain: P&U. P&U has six locations. Holden Caulfield, district manager for those P&U outlets, said the one at Salinger Mall in Sleepy Hollow gets the most business of all of them. The typical crowd there ranges in age from 55 to 105, also most of the clientele for Davis and Sisters.

Some such customers squinted long and hard at the sign on the locked front door Monday, seeming unable to comprehend the note of finality posted in the name of Mustapha Mond, senior vice president of operations and administration: "We do this with regrets and sad hearts." He bid all the faithful "an affectionate farewell and adieu!"

Written by Natty Bumppo for the Golden Pond Gazette. All rights reserved. Copywright September 20, 2006; Fennimore Cooper Inc.

P.S. In keeping with tonite's theme, the youtube song for yer listening pleasure is:

"Hoots, Dialogue, and Lester"

 
 
 

Me and my buddy, hoots, of hootsbuddy's place have been having a dialogue allah the Democrats on his blog, the aforementioned. Because I spent an exhaustive 30 minutes writing a reply to the hootster, the rest of my time that I had reserved for Golden Pond is kaput, fini.' So the proprietor of this page is including our discourse in case you missed it for a fun-filled foray into dialoguedom:


You Tube notes
The president on Global Warming. (Thanks, Cat!)

Also, Peter's Telling it all, Part 20 is up.
posted by Hoots @ 8:11 AM

3 Comments:
After doing a google search looking "for sample and hold," an old song by Neil Young, he of "Let's Impeach the President" fame. Google listed youtube. The video was awesome, but when returning to view it again, it had been removed. Because I [ evidently ] had violated the terms and agreements of youtube.

It's my favorite new toy. I noticed afterwards that you have it listed on H.P. Watching the Supremes on the "Ed Sullivan Shew;" watching vintage clips of the Fab 4; Elvis; Vanilla Fudge; etc.

Btw, Lester Maddox once ate with me at Hell Whole one Sunday afternoon.. He was Mr. Personality. Ebullient for lack of a better word. I was afraid to be too gracious, because of his past transgressions. He of the Pickrick restaurant and ax handles fame.

However, as Guvner seems he appointed many blacks to positions which was unprecedented at the time. Or so the spin goes from back in the day. Bush appoints Condi Rice as Secretary of State, but she's an uncle tom. You don't see much of a diversity with democrats, ergo John Kerry and the like. Their staff appear to be lily-white, er, caucasion.

And as Neal Boortz likes to say: "Jimmy Carter never met a dictator he didn't like."

Because H.P. is somewhat of a liberal forum, perhaps my comments will be misconstrued.

c'est la vie, v.c.

By vietnamcatfish, at 7:23 PM

Don't worry about it, Cat. This is more a soapbox than a forum anyway. A forum requires participation by a group, and this blog seems to be a place where I pontificate and others just roll their eyes and keep moving. Very few comments.

As for Gov. Maddox, he and Ms. Virginia were among my regulars for several years. I could tell you lots of stories, but this is not the best place for that. I can say two things about Lester Maddox. First, he was absolutely crippled by grief when Virginia died. He came alone to eat and sometimes would cry just remembering their times together. Second, until the end he always dressed and behaved as though he were running for office. He couldn't help it. If he was in the building longer than five minutes everyone knew he was there, and a good many mistakenly thought he was the owner.

You're right about the appointment of blacks during his administration. One of the little-known pieces of American trivia. Some Georgians may also remember that he and a former black employee from the Governor's Mansion got together briefly for an entertainment act called The Governor and the Dishwasher. I think one of them played a harmonica or something.

By Hoots, at 9:49 PM

Sure enough, someone has written Lester Maddox a very good article in Wikipedia. Check it out. And yes, the dishwasher was named Bobby Lee Sears.

By Hoots, at 9:56 PM


vietnamcatfish said...
Hoots, I was just trying to stir the pot a bit. Get some dialogue going. Allah the dems.

I remember as a kid how Lester Maddox would run for office and get slaughtered. But eeked out a win due to the rules of the legislature. Seems that no longer applies today.

Wasn't Pickrik known for its chicken livers as well as its chicken?

Back in '64 my sub-freshman class [ no middle school back in those dinosaur days of yore ] was the first class of mega integration in the high schools. It was an adjustment time for everyone involved.

We, the caucasions, were proudly boasting to the african americans that Barry Goldwater was gonna clean Lyndon Johnson's clock. It was a sad day after the election, because the clock cleansing was vice-versa. LBJ won in a landslide.

I remember, too, that the slow-drawling president rode down the streets of Atlanta [ circa '64 as well ] in his bullet proof limo waving to the crowd, of which I was a member. Methinks the school system was let out for the day, so we could see Hizzoner.

Your Oprah foray today didn't mention LBJ amongst the woebegone presidents: Nixon, Reagen, Bush 1, Bush 2, Hoover, not sure what he meant by Harry Truman. SOS. Same old [ tired ] shtick.

Old Lyndon had had enough by the end of his first term. What'd he say? " I shall not seek, and I will not accept, the nomination of my party for another term as your President.

It seems to me that fate decides these things. If Nixon had not debated JFK in '60; if Bush 2 had not won the 2000 election; if FDR had lived and Harry Truman had not become president; etc., the world as we know it today would be decidedly different.

Who's scripting this stuff, eh?

In closing, where's the dialogue? Dems get with it! Sincerely, Cat

P.S. That be it. Perhaps we can salvage a real dem's response, but the cat is not holding his breath. Tonight's song from youtube is from Sly and the Family Stone. Enjoy! 

"Thanks to TCM Monthly Newsletter"

 
 
  

"They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To"

 
 
 
  

"The Return of Cajun Balls Au Vin"

 
 
 
 

Me old buddy, the enigmatic cajun balls au vin, called me tonite. Always good to hear from the boy. He still works for a cafeteria chain, for whom the bell once toiled for me, which will remain nameless.

We talked shop, and I asked him how the troops were doing. Seems two of the stores in the metro area had been hit by the health department. One store scored an 80 on the initial visit, and when they returned for a re-inspection, seems they got a 67 for their efforts. The other store's score was so bad they wouldn't divulge the score to cajunballs.

Damn, I hate that!

C.B. also raved about the Saints being 2-0 and meeting the Atlanta Falcons [ 2-0 ] this upcoming Monday night. The first game played in the Superdome since Katrina.

C.B. also headed to Auburn this past Saturday to see his Tigers play the, er, Tigers. Unfortunately for C.B. the game was a defensive slugfest with LS and U getting the short end of the stick. [ pun unintended ]

Me and cajun balls will always be buddies. We lived and breathed the horrors of Hell Whole for many years together. It was nice hearing from the boy.

Dem cajuns will eat anything, eh? v.c.

P.S. And as Edward Morris would say: "Dem thing's nasty."

P.S.S. Click here for tonite's song! 

"Manager of the Damned"

 
 
 
 

I've got the premise down for my new situation comedy circa 2006. Zany madcap antics abound at the workplace of our anti-hero. His name is v.c. He has the obligation and responsibility of managing 40 or so passive-aggressive team members. v.c.'s boss gives him grief. As well as Human Resources; the landlords; the government beauracracy; the guests/customers; etc. The situations are limitless. But I need a title. Here are some of the proposed ones for my new comedy:

1) Leave It To Micro Manager

2) Bewitched Lard Ass

3) Twilight Moan

4) Saturday Night Five ( Plus Two )

5) I Was A Teenage Lard Ass Micro Manager

6) No One In The Room Makes Minimum Wage

7) Sound of Muzac

8) 900 Minutes [ apologies to 60 Minutes ]

9) Handwriting/Headwringing on the Wall

10) Manager of the Damned

There you have it, v.c. Click here

P.S. Please vote for only one! 

Archived: February, 2003

Some proposed and rejected names for the new situation comedy currently being written by yours truly, v.c. on golden pond.

1) The vietnamcatfish Show. Starts out on the pond. v.c., the title character has his fishing pole. His son, Opus, is walking with him. Opus is throwing rocks. Background music. Melodic whistler. Doo doo doot doo de doot doot doo de doot doot.... Engaging characters abound in Raybradbury, N.C. Opus the drunk. < no relation to small fry, vc's son >; Aunt Pee, who has urinary problems. < Depends hadn't been invented. Story line 1969 >; Barney Rife, who has a single bullet and body odor. Situations abound in this madcap premise.

2) Cleverly Wilbury's: Title character Red is shooting at some food, when up through the ground come a bubbling crude. His nephew, Deathrow Bovine, proudly plays a 3rd grade graduate, in trouble with the law. Mr. Clydesdale plays the banker. Music by Jeff Lynne, Tom Petty, and Bob Dylan.
Title song: Last G.M. Produced by Lynne.

3) Father Knows Guests. Situational comedy at a cafeteria. G.M. knows the cravings of his guests. Balks when told by the savvy marketing team to run smokeyard bbq, terrormisu cakes, and Italian cuisine. Alternate titles: Father Knows Crest. Title character is a dentist, who loves to do root canals; Father Knows Ness. Takes place in prohibition days. Background voice-Walter Mitty; Father Knows Vests: G.Q. G.M. who dresses sharp. Never gets dirty. And wears a white glove to check for dust and grime; Father Knows West: Title character moves to California to open a new dining experience; and Father Knows Rest All of the above have potent situational possibilities.

4) Billabong's Island: Hijinks on the Hi-C's. A 3 hour tour. The hootster and his wife, the millionaire with his golden parachute, the professor and Mary Ann are here on Billabong's Isle.

5) I Dream of Weinees: Astronaut goes into space, finds a magic lamp, and when he returns, opens a restaurant serving Oscar Meyer weiners. Patterned after "Close Encounters of the Third Kind."

6) Leave It To Bereaver: When G.M.'s long time friends keep leaving the team, the situational comedy team, the Bereaver < title character > quits the biz and becomes a freelance writer.*
Rejected: Too depressing.

7) Last Mango in Paris < Texas > Another food service theme. To star Marlon Brando in a reprisal role from the movie. Pilot Episode. Marlon buys too much oleomargarine. Doesn't know what to do with it. But then he has a brilliant idea.

8) Eight Is Enough: To gain a niche in the food service industry, a restaurant offers eight salads, eight meats, eight veggies, eight breads, eight desserts, eight types of butter, 8 types of crackers, etc. Motto: Eight Is Enough!

9) Saturday Night Wive: G.M. sees wife only on Saturday. She works days; he works days and nights.* Rejected. Once again, too depressing.

10) Catfish: Stars Abe Vigoda in the title role, provided he's still alive.

"Fast Times at Rowdy High"

 
 
 
 

Whatever happened to the class of '69, Slippery? click here!

v.c. became a cafeteria manager and made beaucoups money. But worked his ass off and has little ass left to show for his efforts. His current boss in the wonderful world of food bizdom is a dickhead, which has been well-chronicled in yesteryear's posts, er, forays. Btw, what the fork was I thinking?

sam, er, george had a good gig at the hospital and saw it grow from an acorn into a big oak. what thanks did he get? None, when they shoved his ass out the door.

ley went to fight in the jungles of viet nam and came home in a body bag, allah bubba of forrest gump fame.

greg went from being the star quarterback to doctor of psychology or some bull-shit and is now stationed in the city my friend marty calls home. Boca Raton, that is. greg, who was born in the deep south, along with most of the rest of us, is now a liberal, allah olga in san francisco.

bob went from being the star tackle and receiving a scholarship to clemson to selling LSD on the streets.

conservative keith stayed conservative all his life and is now working for a trucking company in jawja. he married his high school sweetheart, had one child ( conservative, too ) and leads a blissful life.

steve became an art afficionado and sends me silly e mails. however, i like getting them.

bogus is still bogus. he joined the navy after being ditched by his girl friend. served in bahrain via columbia, married a belly dancer, had one child, got divorced, remarried, and went completely bald, allah his daddy, sweet lucy.

nancy, rowdy high's chief cheerleader, married greg ( see above ) and had a child, and they named her natalie after natalie wood.

edward was a trombonist at r.h. he of the '64 mass integration into the schools. he embodied the dialect of the african-american at the time. All for oil; ax for ask; etc. don't think he said "boo" or "it's all good." those were to come much later. seems edward became a customer at v.c.'s cafeteria and would pop in from time to time. my most memorable recollection of edward was his saying: "dem things nasty."

the writer of the pond apologizes in advance for abruptly ending tonite's foray. Why? Because I'm a'sleepy.

say goodnite, v.c.

p.s. goodnite, v.c.

p.s.s. poor sam. forkers. 

"Foray to Follow"

 
 
  

"You Can't Handle the Truth" or "Code Red"

From back in the day, a tale from yesteryear written by yers truly. The cast of characters:

1) Azam: former COO of a well-known cafeteria chain

2) Ronnie: former CEO of a well-known cafeteria chain.

3) ibbq4you2: set adrift from the team [ euphemism for fired, terminated, kaput, fini' ] after Azam, aka "the hatchet man" entered the picture.

4) Kaffee: a lawyer for ibbq4you2. If this were a movie, Tom Cruise would undoubtedly get the part, even if you think he's crazy and don't know jack about Scientology. Apologies to L. Ron Hubbard.

5) Rod Serling: Married to Ann Sothern and the inventor pf "The Twilight Zone."


Like the < rod > serlingesque commentaries penned by hoots, did anyone see the updated "A Few Good Men" the other night on the Sci-fi channel. It was really good, as usual, but different from the original. Seems they were showing the director's cut. The ending, of course, is the hi lite of the flick. The red herrings are exposed while building to a thrilling climax. For those of you who didn't see it....We pick it up where Kaffee, lead counsel for the defense is questioning Ronnie about a possible Code Red that Ronnie may have ordered.

KAFFEE

When Azam spoke to the team and
ordered them not to fire bbq, any
chance they ignored him?

Ronnie
Have you ever spent time in a cafeteria,
son?

KAFFEE
No sir.

RONNIE
Ever served as a maintenance mechanic?

KAFFEE
No sir.

RONNIE
Ever put your wife, er, knife in another man's hands,
ask him to put his wife, er, knife in yours?

KAFFEE
No sir.

RONNIE
We follow orders, son. We follow orders
or people fry/don't fry. Pun unintended It's that simple. Are we
clear?

KAFFEE
Yes sir.

RONNIE
Are we clear?

KAFFEE
Crystal.


If Malik told his men that BBQ
wasn't to be touched, then why did he have
to be terminated?

Azam ordered the code red, didn't he?
Because that's what you told Azam to
do.
And when it went bad, you cut this guy
loose.

KAFFEE
I'll ask for the fourth time. You ordered--

RONNIE
You want answers?

KAFFEE
I think I'm entitled to them.

RONNIE
You want answers?!

KAFFEE
I want the truth.

RONNIE
You can't handle the truth! (continuing)
Son, we live in a world that has malls.
And those malls have to be served by men
who sell buns. Among other things. Who's gonna do it? You? You,
Lt. Whineberg? I have a greater
responsibility than you can possibly
fathom. You weep for BBQ and you
curse the ceo's in the ivory towers. You have that luxury.
You have the luxury of not knowing what I
know: That BBQ's termination, while tragic,
probably saved jobs-we didn't have to fire more people at the time. And my existence,
while grotesque and incomprehensible to
you, saves jobs. For the likes of AAAA Repair, the Federal Bureaucracy, the workers at the unemployment offices, etc.

I have neither the time nor the
inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the
very freedom I provide, then questions the
manner in which I provide it. I'd prefer
you just said thank you and went on your
way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a
serving spoon and stand a post. Either way, I
don't give a damn what you think you're
entitled to.

KAFFEE
(quietly)
Did you order the code red?

RONNIE
(pause)
You're goddamn right I did.

About that time I dozed off, but do remember hearing a voice that eerily sounded like Rod's, who pronounced: submitted for your approval and perusal.

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. Azam managed to get the stock up to $3.00 a share; then it all went south. The company filed bankruptcy; Ronnie was fired; and yers truly bit the dust as well.

"Yer Blues"

 
 
 
 

Kitty says I've been a bit dour lately. And she's worried about me, re: "Free As A Bird." She picked up a vibe from that post. But the real story is: I was perusing youtube.com and typed in free as a bird, fab 4. Of course the video from the anthology popped up, and I enjoyed watching the mystery tour. And, er, wanted to show it with the viewing public. That's it in a nutshell.

Speaking of which, here's another favorite tune from back in the day. The song first appeared on the white album and was reprieved in the following video from the plastic ono band live in toronto.

Yer blues, er, my blues, v.c.

P.S. All we are saying is give v.c. a chance.

P.S.S. Jerry lee Lewis was on the bill, and that's Eric Clapton playing with the ono band. Also, Klaus Voorman plays bass, he of the "Revolver" design fame.

P.S.S.S. Who needs google when yer mind is full of useless trivia?

P.S. Unfortunately, the proprietor of the Pond can't find the video, so we'll go instead with John, Eric, and members of the jimi hendrix experience. And white men can't jump, eh? 

P.S. ad infinitum: Usage Note: The word dour, which is etymologically related to duress and endure, traditionally rhymes with tour. The variant pronunciation that rhymes with sour is, however, widely used and must be considered acceptable. In a recent survey, 65 percent of the Usage Panel preferred the traditional pronunciation, and 33 percent preferred the variant. Pulled that one out me arse, eh?

"Tragical History Tour"

 
 
 


I have become a Youtube.com junkie. Right up a trivia nut's alley. Watching the "Supremes" on "The Ed Sullivan Show;" and singing "Stop in the Name of Luv" with Frankie Avalon. Huh? And whatever happened to Annette?

Rod Stewart singing "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy" while capitalizing on the disco craze circa 1979. Elvis Presley and Ann Margaret crooning a duet in "Viva Las Vegas;" "The Ramones" warbling "Needles and Pins," an olde Sonny Bono tune from back inna day.

It don't get no better than this.

Tonite's litany [ everybody seems to use that word these days ] of pictures is from "Tragical History Tour." A parody of the fab 4 by the Rutles. If you put the link in your browser you will hear "Piggy in the Middle."

Youtube, my man, er, my link, v.c.

P.S. And whatever happened to Cher and Chastity?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=TGFLJXBhURg

"Free as A Bird;" I Wanna Be Free Like A Bird In a Tree;" "Free Bird!"

 
 
 
 

Me: I want to be free like a bird in a tree!

Boss: What the hell!

Me: Apologies to Elvis; Lieber and Stoller!

Boss: Have you lost your freakin' mind?

Me: If I leave here tomorrow, will you still remember me? Eh?

Boss: You are just another insignificant piece of horse manure that works for me and the company. As soon as you're gone, we'll find another twenty just like you. You are irrelevant, dispensable, and replaceable. No, I will erase you from my memory banks. However, in team meetings we will sometimes bring your name up so's we can ridicule your ex sorry ass. Or should I say former?

Me: But, boss. What ever happened to the life that we once knew?
Can we really live without each other?
Where did we lose the touch?
It seemed to mean so much; it always made me feel so
Free, as a bird.

Boss: I always thought you were nuttier than a fruit cake. My suspicions have been confirmed.

Me: I think what we've got here is a failure to communicate.

Boss: Communicate this. Yer fired, allah Donald Trump, my idol.

Will v.c. bounce back? is this the end of the line for the poor boy? Who who the fork knows.

I look out my window and what do I see ee ee. I see a bird way up inna tree.
I wanna be free, oh yes. Free e e e. I wanna be free; like a bird inna tree, v.c.

P.S. For your viewing pleasure http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWtaEwEhM1I