I'm Dreaming of a White....

Seems Christmas is really taking a wrap. er, rap this year. Seems it is under fire because it represents the birth of Christ. And a few people [ tiny minority ] are up in arms. Frankly, I could give a damn, Scarlet. And a rat's ass to boot.

Each year you get to hear how people bemoan the fact that we have forgotten the true meaning of Christmas. Bull shit, er, balderdash, for lack of a better word. The birth of Christ was secondary- lost in the translation. It was ALWAYS about giving and receiving gifts.

So give it a rest. And just enjoy the day. 24 hours, 1440 minutes, and 86,400 seconds. There's plenty of time for gloom and doom once the credit card receipts start pouring in.

But if Christmas is on its way out, what will happen to the old standards we've all sung and listened to during the Christmas season? What if they have to be changed, so they will be politically correct. How would that play out. Let's see....

1) "Blue Kwanza"

I'll have a blue Kwanza without you
I'll be so blue just thinking about you.
Decorations of red
On a green Kwanza tree.

Got a nice ring to it, eh?

2) "The First Orwell,"

The angels did say.
Was to certain poor shepards
In fields where they lay.

Nah. Missing something.

3) "Twelve Days of Hanukkah"

On the first day of Hanukkah
My true love gave to me.
A partridge in a pear tree.

On the second day of Hanukkah
My true love gave to me.
2 cream cheese
And a partridge in a pear tree.

And so on and so on. This one has possibilities.

4) "So This is Kwanza"

And what have you done?
Another year older
And a new one just begun.

A very Merry Kwanza
And a happy new year.
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fears.

So a very Merry Kwanza
War is over, if you want it.

Originally entitled "So This Is Christmas" John Lennon, circa 1970.

5) "I'll Be Home For The Holidays"

I'll be home for the holidays
You can count on me
Please have snow and mistletoe
But no presents or tree.

I'll be home for the holidays
If only in my dreams.

Some merit. Yes?

6) We Wish You A Merry Holiday"

We wish you a merry holiday
We wish you a merry holiday
We wish you a merry holiday
And a happy new year.

Something's missing here. Just doesn't quite work.

7) "Santa Claus ( a stalker ) Is Coming To Town"

He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake

8) "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Cos...."

They didn't see me creep
Down the stairs to sneak a peek.

Claus changed to Cos-Santa could be anyone's name. It fits.

9) "Have Yourself A Merry Little Holiday"

Nuff said. I'm getting the spirit.

10) "White Kwanza"

I'm dreaming of a white Kwanza
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the tree tops glisten
And children listen
To drumming
From the bro's.

Yes, it's a different time. The old traditions are kaput. Fini'. And the old standards....Give 'em a rest.

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. There are no transcripts tonite. Due to the political correctness inherent in everything we do.