"New Michael Vick Dog Toy" and "Attitude?"

 
 

"Movies Under the Radar!"

 
 
 
 

"Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter"

Believe it or not, there is an actual movie entitled "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter." Circa 1966. And then there's a movie I saw listed on 'Fearnet' as "Hillbillies in a Haunted House," starring the delightful Basil Rathbone and Lon Chaney Jr. The synopsis:

Country singers on their way to Nashville have car trouble, forcing them to stop at an old haunted mansion. Soon they realize that the house is not only haunted, but is also the headquarters of a ring of international spies after a top secret formula for rocket fuel.

Upon further research I, yours truly, found other movies that have flown under the radar screen. In no particular order, here they are:

1) "Zorro's Daughter Has a Crush on a Werewolf"

2) "Wyatt Earp Has a Shootout at the OK Corral with the Mummy"

3) "Wild Bill Hickok and Dracula of Transylvania Trade Gunfire"

4) "Annie Oakley Slews Auntie Roo"

5) "Bonnie and Clyde vs. the Night of the Living Dead Zombies"

6) "The Fortune Telling Gypsy in Every Werewolf Movie Tussles with Hopalong Cassidy"

7) "Roy Rogers and Dale Duel Bullet and Trigger, Both Infected with Rabies"

8) "Billy the Kid Fights The Thing From Another World"

9) "The Cisco Kid's Second Cousin Once Removed Battles Godzilla's Grands" [ grandkids ]

10) "Rednecks Under Siege In a Haunted Castle." Which stars the critically-acclaimed actor, Steven Seagal.

These are just some of the movies that you may have missed at some time in your life. And you thought you knew movies?

Son of Mothra, v.c.

'Change the Man to a Woman, and You've Got a Picture, Kid!'"

Thanks to TCM for tonight's foray into the macabre:

Francis Ford Coppola was still a graduate student at UCLA film school when he was hired by low-budget producer and director Roger Corman to write a new story and dialogue around a Russian science-fiction movie Corman had acquired, Nebo Zowet (1959).

....Coppola came up with a single scene, a Hitchcockian sequence that was purely visual and included "everything I knew Roger would like." As Coppola was further quoted by biographer Gene D. Phillips: "'A man goes to a pond and takes off his clothes, picks up five dolls, ties them together, goes under the water, and dives down, where he finds the body of a seven-year-old girl with her hair floating in the current...then he gets axed to death.' Corman responded enthusiastically, 'Change the man to a woman, and you've got a picture, kid!'"

As yours truly has pontificated many times in the past: they don't make 'em like they used to.

P.S. Dementia 13 co-star Mary Mitchel on producer Roger Corman and the kinds of breaks he gave to aspiring filmmakers like Francis Coppola: "At the time, the studios had no interest at all in young filmmakers. Nobody came out of the universities, nobody was considered to be knowledgeable or be of any value at all. In fact, [young filmmakers] were totally barred from any kind of jobs whatsoever, couldn't get near a studio or a set. There was no mentoring... 'cause there was nothing in it for the old guard. There was only one person who offered young actors and filmmakers an opportunity, and that was Roger Corman. His was the only company where you could get a foothold."

"Dementia 13" by Roger Corman and Francis Ford Coppola

 
 

"Lucy, What Happened?"

I have always been a big baseball fan. Since I was nine years old. I recall what a thrill it was seeing Willie Mays playing center field for the S.F. Giants back in '66. The team also included Willie McCovey and Juan Marichal. And getting to see Sandy Koufax undone by Eddie Matthews, whose ninth inning home run beat the Dodgers 2-1 in dramatic fashion.

I remember seeing the "Big Red Machine" with Pete Rose, Johnny Bench, and Sparky Anderson. And rooting against the Yankees of the late 70's, who had Ron Guidry, Reggie Jackson, and Thurman Munson.

I remember Goose Gossage; Rollie Fingers; the "Mad Hungarian," Al Hrabosky; Bruce Sutter; and George Brett.

In the 80's I cheered for the Braves. Bob Horner, Dale Murphy, Knucksie, et al. But from '85 to '90, the team sucked.

In the 90's the Braves went from worst to first and ignited the city. With the likes of Sid Bream, Terry Pendleton, John Smoltz, et al.

In the early part of the 2000's I cheered some more. For the likes of Chipper Jones, Gary Sheffield, Kevin Millwood, et al.

Tonight I tuned in to watch the Braves vs. the Colorado Rockies. 2007 edition. I'm thinking! Where's Larry Walker, Vinny Castilla, and Daryl Kile? I don't think I had ever heard of anybody on the team.

What's gonna happen when Greg Maddux, Barry Bonds, John Smoltz, and Julio Franco finally retire. I ain't gonna know nobody. Somewhere along the line I was left out of the loop.

In summary: Lucy, what happened?

P.S. Ah, memories. Biff Poccaroba, Rod Gilbreath, Buzz Capra, Ernie Johnson, Milo Hamilton and....Larry Munson, the first Braves announcer along with Milo.

"Beserk"

 

 

 

 

This is a vintage movie from the 60's, circa 1968 to be exact. I saw this grand flick from the comfort of my car. It starred the venerable Joan Crawford and Ty Hardin of "Bronco" fame.

Ms. Crawford looks a bit old ( imho ) to be playing the leading lady, but Hollywood could have cared less. She also gets to snuggle with her co-star, who meets a grizzly death at the hands of Joan's daughter, played by the forgotten Judy Geeson. Ty plays a trapeeze artist while Joan is the ringmaster.

This cinema classic somewhat startled me back in those consciousness-raising times. I never have come to grips with looney-bin characters who are knocking-off the others one-by-one. And the viewer has to decide who did it. ( or whodunit? ) As always, it's the last one you would expect. Kinda like life, eh?

"I Need A Raise?"

Be afraid. Be very afraid from now on, if you are contemplating asking the boss for a raise. You may receive a bullet to the head for your troubles.

I have worked in the restaurant biz for 30 years, and it's common to hear the phrase "I need a raise" from the team members. Like every day. Like 365 days a year. In the following scenario seems the boss got tired of hearing it from his team.

Two underpaid employees at an East Point car dealership had been hounding their boss for a raise. Instead, the boss gave them each a bullet to the head, police said.

Fed up with the two workers' frequent salary demands, owner Rolandas Milinavicius — who was in dire financial straits — apparently snapped Thursday morning and allegedly shot both of them to death inside the business.

Rolandas Milinavicius, 38, owner of RM Auto International in East Point,turned himself in and confessed to killing his employees, Martynas Simokaitis and Inga Contreras. All are from Lithuania.

"Tom Snyder and Bill Walsh"

Tom Snyder and Bill Walsh died today. These two were influential in the lives of most Americans. I say most because my friend, Hoots, has probably never heard of Bill Walsh. And my friend, Marty, as well. Now, Slippery, he knows Bill Walsh.

Bill was the architect of the West Coast offense, and this ain't got nothing to do with gang members, aka gangstas. It's football at its finest. It's where the quarterback says in the huddle: "all you receivers and backs sprint like hell, cos I'm a'gonna throw this here pigskin. You catch it, and we're a'gonna score a lot of points."

And score a lot of points they did. First with Joe Montana, who had to be one of the finest q.b.'s ever. "Clutch" was his middle name.

He possessed an almost mystical calmness in the midst of chaos, especially with the game on the line in the fourth quarter. While others saw turmoil and danger after the snap, Montana saw order and opportunity. He was Joe Cool, the unflappable king of the comeback.

Take the 1989 Super Bowl against the Cincinnati Bengals. The San Francisco 49ers were down by three points with 3:20 left when Montana spotted -- no, not an open receiver -- but a personality. "There, in the stands, standing near the exit ramp," Montana said to tackle Harris Barton. "Isn't that John Candy?" And then he led the 49ers 92 yards, throwing for the winning touchdown with 34 seconds left.

After Joe came Steve Young and Jerry Rice. I never liked San Francisco, because they always put a whomping on the Falcons, and because I liked the Cowboys, America's Team. [ pre-Jerry Jones and the guy with the unflappable hairdo ]

Bill Walsh? He was considered a genius on the gridiron.

Then there's Tom Snyder, who kinda went underground the last 25 years. But he was the first late night talk show host. People made fun of his hair; his wide colorful ties; his laugh; and the ubiquitous smoke from his cigarettes.

Dan Akyroyd of SNL did a great impersonation of Tom. And I recall staying up many a night to see old Tom do his thing.

So two influential guys died today. It's a sad day on the Pond, where "time flies when yer havin' fun." the ubiquitous v.c.

P.S. Dedicated to the aforementioned:

The Vick camp offers up some photographic evidence that those dogs weren't for fighting.

 

Pictures courtesy of my friend, Slippery. Who was once in a "Band on the Run" back in the daze of Rock 'N Roll Rowdy High School, our alma mater.

And tonite's youtube video is dedicated to Mike Vick!

"And They Call It Puppy Love!"

 

Gerald Poindexter explains, "If the collar doesn't fit, you must acquit."

 

 

"Romance 101"

It had been a long day for Aaron. In the morning on his commute into work, traffic had snarled to an abrupt halt, taking an extra hour in what normally should have taken only 15 minutes, max. He tried slipping in unnoticed by taking the stairs-the back route-but when he opened the door he came face to face with trouble. Standing in his path to an anonymous entry was old Fuddy Duddy, his boss, who would surely have something sarcastic to say and he did:

"Aaron, you need to stop staying up all night and get yourself some shuteye. How are you going to make senior partner, when your derriere is ALWAYS late for work? Keep that thing in your pants, boy. Takes away your drive, your energy. I can't even remember the last time I had a little roll in the hay."

Aaron grunted and appeared apologetic: "I'm sorry, Len. But it wasn't my johnson this time, honest! There was some serious shit happening out there today. I saw a car on fire for gawd's sake."

"Aaron, my boy. Don't worry about it. Grab a cup of coffee and meet me in my office in 30 minutes. We need to talk about Mrs. Dahlia and her impending court date with the grand jury. You got Foster's deposition, didn't you?"

"Yeah, Len. All the bases are covered. I dotted all the i's and...."

"30 minutes, Aaron. Don't be late," Len said drifting away into another conversation with Alice, Aaron's new secretary, who quickly manged to free herself of him, and whom she considered a real prick. She noticed a forlorn look in Aaron's eyes and said:

"What you need is a massage, young man. You're all tense!"

"What I need, Alice, is that deposition I never got from Foster."

"What happened? I thought you went out to Pointe Lake last week. To meet with him."

"I did but....it's a long story."

"Look, you've got 30 minutes to think your way out of this, and I've got 30 minutes to give you that massage. Now get in your office and pour yourself a drink. Take off that silly suit and lie down on the floor. Dr. Alice has filled your prescription!"

Aaron was in a jam-he knew it. But the offer was too tempting. He slid out of his trappings, as if they were greased, and was standing only in his underwear. "Sherry or cognac," he offered.

"Not Sleepy"

Maybe I'm depressed. My life has gone into the toilet lately. I went to sleep an hour ago and woke up soon afterwards. I know when it's futile; just lying there tossing and turning and knowing the sandman has come once and won't return for a while. And I had all these thoughts in my head about writing a brilliant foray for G.P., so you see where I capitulated.

I'm used to working 60-70-80 hours a week. And being on my feet. And wrestling with the staff and guests, and, most recently, my fellow management. Even then I would have trouble sleeping with too many thoughts running through my brain. What's left of it anyway, so we'll use the term loosely.

And coming home late at night while the rest of the family was asleep, or off in his/her own world. Eating late and gorging myself with fatty foods, such as potato chips, cheese-nips, and sandwiches. I passed that phase of stuffing my face with a pastry from Entemanns. At one point, I idolized the raspberry danish with the sugary icing.

I've come full circle, and I always saw it, envisioned it happening. As if it were destined; as if I had no control over the events that were slowly manipulating themselves into reality. If Plato or Homer were around today, surely I could make a case for them as being a tragic hero.

Our lives ( me and Kitty ) were hectic and chaotic, but we perservered through it all. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't change any of the challenges that faced us, but I would handle them oh so differently. But that's the rub. We arent't privy to hindsight until it's too late.

I'm getting old. I'm getting tired. I don't have the fire anymore. I want to start winding down, not gearing up for more work, work, work. I think I've had enough of that. And as my alter ego likes to say: "Kaput, fini.'"

Will I be happy working a job where I don't have much input? Would I be happy working 40 hours a week? Will I even find a decent job period? Don't know. Only time will tell.

Well, methinks I'm done with the foray. Still not sleepy. But it is what it is. Perhaps a sleeping pill will do the trick.

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream, v.c.

P.S. Enclosed is a song [ if I can find it ] which touches quite well on the above!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=KRFypEsn_Y8

"Nuff Said" and "Spooky Tooth"

 

"The Last Puff"

Well, who'd a thunk it? My freakin' computer is back up and running. It only took eleven days. The problem: the ethernet connection.

After visiting in India with Raoul, Abdul-Jabbar, and Frederico; after many calls to my Internet Provider; after many trips to the various computer stores; and after many trips to Comcast ( IP ) to swap out the modem-plus I forgot the cable connection and had to return; it was finally deduced by the CC technician that the ethernet connection was the villian.

Shiiiiiiiit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A recap of the events in modified form:

1) Storm hits Golden Pond! Lightning and thunder right on top of us. Ka boooom!

2) The unplugging of the computer-alas, too late.

3) Can't connect-v.c. is sad.

4) A call to Comcast. Executive ( that's what they call 'em ) on the other end of the line says: "Seems to be working fine to me. Call HP."

5) HP answers very politely. I am impressed with their knowledge, courtesy, and sticktoitness.

6) HP sends me cd's to do a system recovery. ( two days )

7) I load the cd's after purchasing cd's to back-up old files. Because it'll be like "starting over." Apologies to John and Yoko.

8) All my old files are soon kaput, fini.' Still can't connect to internet.

9) A call back to HP. After an hour or so and exhaustive tests, Raoul says: "There's nothing wrong with your computer."

10) I change the modem. I call CC. "Yeah, the signal isn't good. Should I send a technician?"

11) "Yes, please." They show up [ arrive ] this morning; technician says he learned YESTERDAY that if you change the ethernet connection with an obgyn connection, it will work regardless.

12) The proof is in the pudding, cos I am not at the library. And am able to pound the keys in front of the computer.

13) My fingers are tired, and the proprietor is feeling kaput, fini.'

Ethernet, smethernet, v.c.

P.S. This video was just added to youtube.com. Enjoy!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=kiUh-x4M5HQ

"Gotta Know When To Fold 'Em?"

What's it all about, Alfie?

Tonite I am playing Texas Hold 'Em with some buddies of mine, whom most attended Rock 'N Roll Rowdy High back in the daze of incense and peppermint. [ gotta love the 60's flavor, eh? )

I am expecting to take all their money. And much needed it will be.

Au revoir, v.c.

P.S. I am a man of little words these days. I long to have my own p.c. again.

P.S.S. Alas, the following song is NOT from da 60's.

"Library"

Here I am at the library. My computer is still on the fritz. After talking to India ( the country-and can you say outsourcing?-and apologies to John Kerry ) for an hour last night, Kareem deduced the problem was on Comcast's end.

I called Comcast and informed them. My executive technician, whose name was Ahjello, attempted to help, taking me through the same steps as Kareem had done prior, to no avail.

So here I am "stuck in the middle with you." Apologies to Steeler's Wheel. Methinks, they must have hailed from Pennsylvania. And who hasn't seen the "immaculate reception." [ Hoots, for one ] Apologies to Franco Harris.

All is fair in love and war, v.c.

P.S. Marty, being two.

"Fate Has Dealt Me Another Blow"

Saturday afternoon in the sleepy hamlet known as Golden Pond, a violent thunderstorm wiped out my computer. Well, I can still use the computer except for one important point: I can't connect to the Internet.

Poor Hootster! I sent him a most distressing correspondence prior to my involuntary disconnect, and the poor boy thought I had gone into a major funk.

So to the readers of G.P., I am still around but am using the G.P. library to write tonite's foray. I am also filling out job applications, too.

I am reminded of Job in the old testament asking God:

"How much more shit are ya gonna throw my way, Lord?"

To which I would reply: "God, I've had enough. Please, can we kaput, fini' the shit? I surrender!"

It's always darkest before the dawn? v.c.

P.S. Those fuckers at C.B. lied today during my unemployment hearing. But what did I really expect from those slimey fuckers? The truth?????