"Seafood Diet"

I have always been on a seafood diet. Love me some seafood. My body is a testament of my loving seafood.

When I quit smoking in 1981-yes, the dark ages-my body was so enamored of seafood that it ballooned to 50 more lbs. in a matter of months. Ever since, I have experienced the yo-yo syndrome. Lose, gain, lose, gain, lose, gain but mainly gain. All due to seafood.

When I resumed smoking-cough, cough-in 1990-I had lost the 50 lbs. What a 360, eh? And it was back to smoking and seafood.

Love me some seafood. Hamburgers; pizza; chips and dip; barbecue; french fries; chicken fingers, toes, breasts, and wings; guacamole; fried pickles ( thanks to any restaurants serving this new fare ); ham; meatballs and spaghetti; fried fish with gobs of tartar sauce; and various pies and cakes.

I should write a book and name it "V.C.'s Seafood Diet." or "How I've Gained and Lost More Weight than Haystacks Calhoun."

Yep. Love me some seafood.

"Follow-Up"

At my first posting this afternoon, the bid on Ebay for the Casey Anthony mask was $24,200. With less than 30 minutes to go, it is selling for slightly less than one million dollars. Wow! It is now 8:38 est.

Here's the description:

Halloween is only a few months away. Forget Freddy, Jason, Meyers, here's your chance to scare the *#&% out of everyone and win every costume contest with this amazing Tot Mom latex rubber mask, possibly the most frightening mask on the planet. And I can almost guarantee it's the 'only' Casey mask on the planet. Sculpted to precision for a parody video by enigmatic pop artist / sculptor Torro, only 9 of these film props were made for production and I got my hands on a few after the video wrapped. One of the best Halloween masks I've ever seen. This one is in excellent condition and it is numbered 6 of 9. I kept one for myself because I know these will be priceless. A significant piece of crime history. No matter what your opinion of the trial is, this is still one heck of a conversation piece. I bet Nancy Grace would love one of these. Fits most heads sizes comfortably. Let's never forget poor Caylee. Production used prop, item sold as is. Free shipping in the Cont. U.S. Feel free to ask any questions. International shipping, ask me for a price quote. Good luck.

"Casey Anthony Mask"

 

The bidding in the picture is $60.00. At 1:38 pm it is now up to $22,400. Wow!

"Need Some Privacy"

 

Thanks to Donna for sending me this. A little redneck ingenuity.

"Get Yer Ya Ya's Out"

 

Thanks to my old high school chum who dominates my Facebook page, I found out that Mick Jagger is 68 years old today. Who would have ever thunk that? Not me.

I remember Mick singing on the Ed Sullivan show with "I Can't Get No Satisfaction." And the Stones copied the Beatles by adding a sitar to their later 60's songs, most notably "Paint It Black."

And I remmeber Mick saying "I just busted a button on me trousers; hope they don't fall down. You wouldn't want me trousers to fall down now, would you?" at one of his early 70's concerts.

Good thing I knew what trousers were, cos we called 'em pants here in the states.

Happy Birthday, Mick. Rock on and steady.

P.S. My favorite Stones song appears down below. I used to sign off my posts with the title song.

 

"Angst Less" or "Another Post From Yesteryear"

I'm sorry if my brief absence caused any angst, but kudos to Smitty for attempting to engage the bored, altho he failed miserably.

Just got through downloading that immortal classic from back in the day, "journey to the center of the mind, the mind, the mind" by the amboy dukes via Ted Nugent. Ah, they don't make 'em....

There are a lot of important things happening out there in the cosmos that have engaged my attention. < and the reason for your angst in my absence >

1) John Scary, er, Kerry might not win the democratic nomination after all.

2) Elton John claims there is racism afoot in the american idol debacle.

3) Parris Hilton just came out with her new rap record and video.

4) Bronco Billy is engaging my services for the recipe: fish dust casserole. Thought he had it in the dark recesses of his mind, his mind, his mind, but he can't remember if it calls for one or two cans of salmon.

5) Which brings up the debate. Is salmon pronounced sal-mon or sa-mon. < see the southern history test >

6) Briggs is becoming a more kinder/gentler regional manager. Apollo g's to George Bush Sr.

7) Heather Locklear is on the west wing, a rerun, of course, and is looking good with her hot legs. Da ya think she's sexy?

8) The steroids issue is heating up in baseball. They want to pump you up! Apollo g's to Hans and Franz and Heather Heliyum.

9) Hoots returned leaving me angstless and giving me closure, which was engaging.

10) And since I can't think of any more and it's past my bedtime, you may now disembark the nite train. All laborde!

farewell and adieu, v.c.

 

 

Hiram woman cleans up with $10,000 win

ATLANTA – A Hiram woman is having loads of fun with her second Georgia Lottery prize in two months. Diana Singh won $10,000 from being selected as one of 10 winners from the latest monthly Maximum Green Extra Chance drawing.

In May Singh won a seven-night vacation package for two playing the instant game Royal Caribbean Cruise for Cash.

“I just got back from the cruise,” she exclaimed. “I won that on Mother’s Day.”....

P.S. The last thing I won was a hard time. Selah!

From the Archives

May 30, 2004

"Hang on to your hopes my friend
That's an easy thing to say
But if your hopes should pass away
Simply pretend
That you can build them again."

Well. it's fess-up time. The jig is up. Fini'. Time to pay the piper. Hasta la vista, baby. It's time to reveal the identity of vietnamcatfish.

Yes, we've had fun with the character. Yes, we've muddled our way through the infantile to express pent-up anger < angst, if you will >
in order to preserve what's left of our sanity.
Yes, it was fun but all things must end or pass, if you will. As Willie once so eloquently waxed onto vinyl, "Turn Out The Lights, The Party's Over." < apollo g's to Dandy Don Meredith >

Even Kitty < not her real name > has given me the green light. "Go for it." she said.

And gopher it, I shall.

I started writing the posts in June of 2001. Cajunballsauvin had turned me on to the yahoo and told me to check it out. Buried in the not so distant past, this closet writer was intrigued at the possibilities. It was luv at first sight.

I had just retired from the PIC at the ripe old age of 64. The company was in the midst of its undoing, and it was time to get out. And on my terms. Me and Adelaide, my wife's real name, had saved a small sum, a nest egg, if you will, and we eventually decided the time was ripe to leave. And leave, we did.

I had been a general manager for PIC and worked in the La. area. I worked with some of the legends. Sandy Fajitas < not his real name > was my mentor, after whom Bronco Billy was patterned. Sandy has always been flattered with the comparison.

Yes, he taught me a lot. How to turn the poke salad garnish into a delightful delicacy to be consumed by the guests; how to continually render the various meat offerings; how to weigh 2.5 ozs. of roast beef while discreetly holding one's thumb on the corner of the scale; the list is endless. And with heartfelt wishes, thank you Sandy Fajitas!

But me and Addie bid the rat race adieu. And are now enjoying the rest of our lives. Fortunately, Addie's hip replacement surgery was successful-poor thing fell the day after we retired. You've got to love the irony.

Portia, aka Catlin, has been helping her mom through the recovery process. Her sibling, Bud, aka Charlie jr., is an accountant with Price-Waterhouse. And the source of my inspiration for the academy awards spoofs. Charlie, er, Bud, is also the pictruandtru character. It is no coincidence that pictru and v.c. disappeared, er, went awol, if you will, at the same time. Bud has quite the imagination. And now we know the true identity of pictru. Sorry pictru, er, Bud.

Ah, memories. voting for Adlai Stevenson in the 50's. Enjoying the brief Camelot of the early 60's. LBJ. McGovern. Nader.The goober economics of the late 70's. Life was grand!

Yes, me and Addie have been blessed-too blessed to be stressed. And we had a fun ride with the PIC. But it's way past my bedtime. So, goodnight, dear PIC friends.

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. Me and Addie would love to rekindle old relationships. Does anyone know of any retirement groups that would be interested in adding me and Addie. She gets around pretty good in her motorized wheel chair. And isn't a bother or nuisance.

"Highest and Lowest Paying Restaurant Jobs"

My buddy, Hoots, used to say that servers were the highest paid workers in a restaurant.

In my 30 plus years I would agree. Servers at a cafeteria chain would make a couple hundred dollars per day, and all they did was get drink refills, condiments, napkins, etc., and to go containers. Not a bad gig considering anything over $5.15 per hour was not reported to the IRS. Oh yeah, they had to bus the table. Some thought they had to bust the table, but that's another story.

Here's the article:

More than a decade ago, I took a job as a server at a branch of a steakhouse conglomerate in rural North Carolina, where, for $2.13 an hour plus tips (including some insightful hand-scrawled notes in lieu of dollars), I waited tables and swept up piles of broken peanuts. The steakhouse has seen some changes over the years (eventually, busted peanuts make for busted floors). The pay, it turns out, has not.

The rate of $2.13 an hour — also known as federal subminimum wage, or the standard base pay for waitstaff in many states — hasn’t budged a penny in 20 years. Even if you work full-time, that amount obviously won’t pay the bills. So how much are servers actually able to bring in these days? How do their wages stack up against those of other restaurant employees?....

"Fear Not, Doctors Have Penis Mutilation Well Figured Out"

Due to folks tuning in to Golden Pond after doing a google search, I am here with the follow up to this bizarre case. Unfortunately, the people dropping by are not looking at anything else.

Let's get to the subject at hand. Oops. Pun unintended. There is a funny pun in the article to follow that I'm sure was unintentional.

Not to be outdone by truTV, whose exhaustive guide to criminal castration we linked to yesterday, the LA Times has put together its own comprehensive guide to penis mutilation–in the wake of the story of Garden Grove’s Catherine Kieu Becker, who recently sliced her husband’s penis off and ran it through the garbage disposal. It’s a surprisingly long piece, filled with useful information. For instance, though it was reported that Becker’s victim will likely lose his original penis, doctors can construct a new one from parts of his arm.

If the nerves are connected properly the patient may get erogenous sensations, particularly in the head of the penis. But because the arm does not contain the soft, spongy tissue typical of the penis, the patient cannot get an erection. That problem is overcome by implanting, well after the initial repairs have healed, a prosthetic implant, such as a hydraulic pump. Overall, “it’s a long, complicated, expensive procedure,” Alter said. But when it is finished, the patient can get an erection, have intercourse and climax.

If you missed the pun, here it is: Catherine Kieu Becker, who recently sliced her husband’s penis off and ran it through the garbage disposal. It’s a surprisingly long piece,

P.S. I saw where Ms. Becker has just signed a contract with the Ginsu Steak Knives company. ( not mine-saw it in another article ).

"Ouch-Catherine Kieu Becker Accused Of Cutting Off Her Estranged Husband's Penis"

A Southern Californian woman is accused of cutting off the penis of her estranged husband. She was arrested late last night after investigators responded to a 911 call and is now in custody at the Orange County Jail.

Catherine Kieu Becker of Garden Grove reportedly prepared dinner for her husband and put a poisonous substance or drug in his food to make him drowsy, reports KTLA. While the man was sleeping, Becker allegedly tied him to the bed. When he awakened, Becker cut his penis off with a knife and threw it into the garbage disposal, turning it on as she did so.

To read more....

P.S. This story came from the Huffington Post. To the right of the story it shows me that my sister and old high school chum ( Facebook ) read this column. Wow!

"Diana Nyad"

61-year-old Diana Nyad continues her quest to swim 103 miles from Havana, Cuba to the Florida Keys.

"When I blinked, I was 60."

"Slow on the Pond"

 

Another picture from my favorite movie.

1) Jaws

2) A Few Good Men

3) Casablanca

4) 7th Voyage of Sinbad

5) Goldfinger

6) From Russia with Love

7) Dr. No

8) The Verdict

9) Family Man

10) Pulp Fiction

11) Godfathers I/II

12) Groundhog Day

13) The Empire Strikes Back\

14) The Thing ( 50's version )

15) North by Northwest

16) Vertigo

17) It's a Wonderful Life

18) You Only Live Twice

19) Thunderball

20) Invasion of the Body Snatchers ( 50's version )

Not necessarily in any order, tho Jaws is number 1.

"Hair's Looking at you, Kid"

 

 

Not much more to say about the Casey Anthony case that hasn't already been said.

Roy Kronk, the meter man, who discovered the body is pictured above. He must have borrowed his hair style from my friend, Steve, who wore this look in the 70's, and who is pictured in the second photo. It has always been documented that styles come and go and then return.

When I mentioned to Steve via Facebook that he and Roy had the same hair style, Steve took umbrage. He thought he was better looking than Roy.

I thought they had the same hair-that's all.

P.S. Or Hair today gone tomorrow.

 

"It's 100 Degrees in the Shade" or "Time Flies When Yer Having Fun"

From January 17, 2008

"v.c.'s Musings"
It's the day after the storm, and the denizenry reveled in the chaos and the sight of white snow falling from the skies. We in the South have seen snow falls, blizzards, and black ice. Not lately, tho'. Why? Global warming! You dolts!

Yesterday was an event and got everybody excited. People who have lived elsewhere, like on the frozen tundras of Green Bay, the mountainous slopes of Colorado, or Alaskan igloos dwellers pooh-poohed our pathetic reactions of awe.

I heard a lot of:

"Where I come from [ Indiana ] this t'warnt nothing. You ain't seen snow til you seen snow in Indiana."

"I couldn't believe it when I saw snow plows going down the road. In Minneapolis, now that's some snow....for you."

Each comment was followed by a snicker. A mischievous smile. A "I can't believe they ate the whole thing."

I defended the region's honor. Yeah, we've had snow. And I tell 'em about the blizzards of '81 and '93 or was it '94. These events occurred before global warming, so most of the denizenry think you're telling tall tales or just plain hallucinating.

Back then you never knew it was coming. Until it was toooooooooo late. In '81 the blizzard shut down the city. Unfortunately, the work force was dutifully on the job. It took 'em hours to get home. I tried to be a good Samaritan by taking some of my charges, who were stranded, home when the snows started a'fallin'. It took me all night to get home. If I had escaped at first, I could have been home roasting in front of an open fire, allah chestnuts.

I would have no regrets doing a good deed, but the people I helped didn't seem to appreciate my sacrifice. Like they were entitled. Or something. Be it as it may, I did it. Risking life and limb. But it was an adventure, and I'll leave it at that.

But now the technology has improved to the point where there's little or no surprise.

I do remember waking up one April morning in 1985 and seeing a winter wonderland before my eyes. I was scheduled for surgery-ahem, in the groin area, and it's too much information, I know. Was this a sign to cease and desist the upcoming surgery?
The snow was beautiful; the roads weren't bad-remember it was April. I had the surgery, and the foot of snow had melted by noon. Along with yours truly. Ouch!

Sometimes, I think it would be better if we didn't know the bad weather was right around the bend. Takes all the mystery out of it. And then there's the precautions we can now take, and all of the raids on the supermarkets.

Musing 2: My foray from last night had a definite theme. "Revolver" in the picture. Songs from the Fab 4-my favs-included "Happiness is a Warm Gun"; and watching the classic sequel "Death Wish 3."

Btw, there is a "Death Wish 4" with the enigmatic Charles Bronson. How do I know. Was there a google search involved? Nah. I'm watching it now via AMC, the home of bleeped curse words and multi-layered commercials. I remember when it was commercial free. Not any more. See TCM for an alternative. Which is showing "From Here to Eternity." A dark, brooding tale of life in the South Pacific, pre-Pearl Harbor, December 7. 19 and 41. Too dark and brooding for me tonight. I'd rather watch Death Wish.

It is now time to end tonite's slugfest, as the revelry of the snow has subsided. The denizenry has bid adieu to the foul weather. The upside? Supposed to be an Arctic blast this weekend. And we shall replay it all over again.

Snow....snow....snow. v.c.

P.S. The weather outside ( yesterday ) was frightful.
But inside, it was so delightful

P.S.S. Musings concludes.
Posted by vietnamcatfish at 11:01 PM

"Fan Falls to his Death"

Tragic story. I have never come close to catching a baseball at a game. They never come my way. These days baseball players are very gracious and throw the foul balls and end-of-inning balls to the fans. I'm sure this will cease because of this tragedy. I often wondered when someone might get hurt by a thrown ball; the distances the balls are heaved can be of a great distance.

From the article: In the second inning, Oakland A’s outfielder Conor Jackson(notes) hit a screaming foul ball down the left-field line. It caromed toward Josh Hamilton(notes), the Rangers’ left fielder. Hamilton picked it up and threw the ball toward the stands. Players do this hundreds of times in a season. It’s part of baseball’s charm. Show up to a stadium, take home a piece of the game.

Hamilton’s toss came in short. It didn’t stop Shannon Stone from stretching to grab it. I’m almost certain, in fact, that the moment before Shannon Stone fell 20 feet and suffered injuries that would kill him, he was indescribably happy. He was going to grab a baseball from Josh Hamilton, a man who hauled himself from the depths of drug addiction to not only return to baseball but win the American League MVP award last season. Once Stone had that baseball, he was going to hand it to his son. And for the rest of his life, his son would have a story to tell about the time his daddy reached over a railing and snagged a bad throw from Josh Hamilton, one of the most talented players ever to wear a baseball uniform.

 

"!00 People Who Are Screwing Up America"

Never one to be topical, I recently read this book. It lists Jimmy Swaggart, Michael Jackson, Dan Rather, And Al Franken to name a few. Bernard Goldberg, the writer, is definitely a conservative.

There are 100 names-of course-and number one is Michael Moore. The others, while receiving many paragraphs, Mike doesn't get nary a one. His selection comes with his quote: "They are possibly the dumbest people on the planet...." Speaking of his fellow Americans, according to Goldberg.

I recommend the book, especially while visiting the powder room and/or reading room.

On a similar vein, I recently used the word bain marie in my last foray into the infantile. While heading to Piggly Wiggly today, the thought popped in my head about some stuff I heard while manning the counter at a cafeteria chain, which will go unnamed.

1) Swimps: Crustacean. Lives in the sea. Favorite food of Bubba. You may know them as shrimps, er, shrimp. Po boy, etouffee, fried, sauteed, cocktail, fried rice, scampi, creole-well, you get my drift.

2) Cabbages: If not mistaken cabbages does not appear in plural form.

3) Brussel sprouts: little cabbages.

4) Barbecue Beef Briscus: Sounds like something you would throw at the Olympics. Brisket, if you will.

5) Hurshpuppies: No explanation is needed or given.

6) Manaze: Try mayonnaise and who can forget Mayonnaise in an "Officer and A Gentleman."

7) Sweet Potato Shooflay: Not to be confused with Shoofly, don't bother me.

8) Fish Fill It: This is a fish sans bones.

a) I was often asked if the fish we served had bones. "No, it's Fill It." To which they would reply: "But does it have bones?"

9) Devil's Food Cake: Some guests never liked to hear the word "devil," so we would go with chocolate cake instead. However, that caused problems when the yellow layer cake with chocolate icing was similarly referred.

10) Seafood Bungo: I swear I heard this once from one of the team members. You may know it as Seafood Gumbo.

Shirley, I'll think of others, but these readily come to mind.

P.S. R Jus: The natural juice from the roast beef.

"Dear Cat"

This dear cat is a dramatization of an actual event:

Dear Cat: I once worked in the cafeteria biz. Long hours too if you will. Don't ask me how it was during the holidays with catering and customers/guests who commanded instant gratification. I moved on after listening to the song "the cat in the cradle" by Harry Chapin ( pun unintended ). From there I became a counselor. It wasn't quite my niche; so I went to work for George Zimmer, because he looked like a sharp dressed man on the boob tube. He had a radiant smile and a catchy ad line: "I guarantee it." But, alas, I'm not happy and want to move on again. DO you have any suggestions. Signed: ex supervisor of the bain maries and other assorted duties.

Dear bain marie: Because I receive no remuneration for writing this column, and because I have no gainful employment, you and I share the same boat. But there's hope and light at the end of the tunnel. Cos I have just the job(s) for you. And thanks to Yahoo's article:

Start a New Career at Any Age/Check out these hot options for career switchers of all ages:

I like this one, in particular:

#3 - Paralegal

Reliability is likely more top-of-mind than age in this profession, since lawyers depend upon paralegals to assist them in just about every part of the legal process. Strong written and verbal communication skills are important, so any prior work history that demonstrates this may come in handy. In addition to researching and interviewing witnesses, paralegals often help proofread documents and prepare contracts.

There are 4 more fields, bain marie. Check 'em out and good luck in your search.

P.S. You're gonna look good in one of these fields;I guarantee it.

P.S.S. Apologies to George Zimmer

P.S. III: What in the world is a bain marie, anyway? Thanks for the query!