"Happy Halloween"

Body of a Boy

Mind of a Monster

Soul of an Unearthly Thing!" I Was A Teenage Frankenstein"

P.S. They don't make 'em like they used to. Happy Halloween.

"My Main Man"

Don't know what's wrong with my picture taker. [ Picasa ] Perhaps we will find a cure soon.

In the meantime here's a video clip from my main man, Paul Mac.
Gimme shelter, v.c.

P.S. Here's the encore!

And the second encore!

"Saboteur"

 


From the master of suspense, Alfred Hitchock's "Saboteur." The famous scene during the ending where the saboteur's life hangs by a thread [ pun intended ] as he dangles on the Statue of Liberty. Robert Cummings [ hero ] attempts to save the rogue's existence. Alas, poor guy doesn't make it. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! 

"Dead Celebs"

They're famous across the globe. Their work is treasured by millions. And they're rolling in cash--they just can't spend any of it.

The 13 members of our annual Highest-Earning Dead Celebrities list brought in a collective $186 million in the last year. They, or more accurately, their estates, earned that money by selling their work--both written and recorded--or just the rights to use their likenesses on T-shirts, posters or in advertisements. Sometimes their life stories themselves are worth something: Musician Ray Charles makes the list for the first time this year, in part because of income related to his 2004 biopic. Johnny Cash, who also makes his first appearance this year, has his own movie out in November.

The Lucky 13
1) Elvis Presley
2) Charles M. Schulz
3) John Lennon
4) Andy Warhol
5) Theodore "Dr. Seuss" Geisel
6) Marlon Brando
7) Marilyn Monroe
8) J.R.R. Tolkien
9) George Harrison
10) Johnny Cash
11) Irving Berlin
12) Bob Marley
13) Ray Charles

If you'll notice carefully, two of the Fab 4 made it. Incredible, eh? And Paul Mac can still sell out big-time arenas. Unbelievable.

Gimme shelter, v.c.

P.S. Tonite's obligatory trailer is entitled: UNGAWA!

"More Carrot Souffle"

So carrot souffle has made its way to Luby's, eh? My legacy, eh? And where's the remuneration? Reminds me of the poor defendant who invents something for his company sans patent, gives it to them; they screw him and take credit for it; he gets pissed and is later framed for murder. So he enlists the aid of Perry Mason, famed attorney from back in the day. Perry rights the wrongs for the poor sole; [ pun intention left to the discretion of the reader ] and he lives happily ever after. Except in my case the fockers [ apologies to De Niro ] continue to pawn it off as their own.

Did I receive anything for my submission? Well, me and me mum did receive a gratuitous thank you letter from the Brass many moons ago. So what am I bitching about? Warm and fuzzy feelings radiate throughout my body.

For the record, my former company did tweek the recipe by adding liquid margarine instead of oleo or butter. And they added the powdered sugar. At first most wanted to put meringue or marshmallows on top. Discretion being the better part of valor rings true in this case, and they opted for the confection.

After 30 years I would have liked to have left with a little more dignity. I worked my ass off. I enjoy my new digs. It's safer; no bathrooms-no bricks in the stall; ( aplogies to Pink Floyd ]; more freedom; less stress; etc. And this year will be my first day off at Thanksgiving in 30 years or more. Can't remember the last one I had off. Lions and Packers? Cowboys and Eagles? Sofa time. And dinner with the family.

No long nights this year the week of Thanksgiving. No phone calls ringing off the hook. No driving to the purveyor to rustle up some last minute products. No exhaustion. No hastles. No headaches. And there's some more good news. I saved hundreds of dollars on my car insurance.

Thanks to mashed potatoes and the bbq man for the nice responses. And real mash, say hello to Rockhead for me. Rock on, L word!

Gimme shelter, v.c.

P.S. Thanks, Geico!

"Fess Up Time"

It's almost Turkey Time. In a few weeks strawberries will go out of season and a few days later, the World will celebrate Thanksgiving. Not sure if all the World celebrates, but we sure do here in the good 'ol U.S. of A.

Families will get together and eat turkey, dressing, yams, blackeyed peas with hog jowls, cornbread, rolls, greens, [ maybe that's a southern thang ] congealed salads, and, of course, sweet potato, pumpkin, apple, mincemeat, pies And one or two African-Americans will brag of their Thanksgiving fare of chitlins and pig feet. Just for the shock value.

And a semi well known cafeteria chain will sell Turkey packages and Ham packages with sides of brocolli and rice, green beans, and carrot souffle. What in the hell is carrot souffle you may ask? One of the companies more popular offerings for Thanksgiving.

Two questions! When was this tasty morsel introduced? And by whom? Was it the company's thinktank who decided one day to steam some carrots until they were pureed-"hey let's add beaucoup sugar and a few more ingredients and throw it in the oven. See if it rises and call it carrot souffle. Or was it through the efforts of one individual?

The following article is from "The Atlanta Journal" circa May 2005. Seems the recipe for carrot souffle is a hot item.

For the record yours truly introduced carrot souffle to this semi-cafeteria chain. And who was also unceremoniously canned after 30 plus years of loyal servitude. Well, maybe I did write a few disparaging articles on the PIC message board, but if they can't take a joke....

Gimme shelter, v.c.

"Kitty's Troubadour" or "I Used To Care But Things Have Ch"

Kitty wants me to e mail her this clip of "Mr. Tambourine Man." From the "Wonder Boys." Well, since you're my destiny and sole mate [ pun intended ] here it is Pumpkin.

Me and Kitty had a ball in Vegas. We traipsed memory lane by visiting our Honeymoon Hotel, the enigmatic "Flamingo. "Man, things had changed. Most of the blackjack dealers were from Vietnam-gotta love the synchronicity and the global economy, but it was kinda bad when I could count faster than our dealer. Which isn't so amazing because yours truly has a gift for adding numbers with a quickness.

Gil was the pitboss and jovial, gregarious was he. There were 3 good ole boys already sitting there when we arrived. One had a goatee and sounded just like Louie Anderson, Jr. Another was called Opie by Gil. Whether it was his real name or not is speculation on my part, but Opie didn't seem to mind and swigged beer after beer.

The other fella seemed the most normal and had more of an idea how to play the game. Louie and Opie were cursing their luck while Kitty was winning hand after hand. Guided by you-know-who.

Gil played our hands a few times, and when we won, he said, "See, it's an easy game!"

Kitty won over a hundred bucks and bought herself a new bag [ pocketbook ] We bade adieu to Louie, Opie, and the other fella. Gil had left by then, leaving us to fend for ourselves.

Me and Kitty want to go back soon. Cos we had the time of our lives. Apologies to Patrick Swayze.

"Watchin' The Wheels"

The 'Stros just tied up the game. Here we go again!

"Leave It To...." ( ? )

I once worked for a company that catered Thanksgiving dinners. We had it all. Our main feature was a package deal which included " a 10-12 lb. turkey, 2 quarts of cornbread dressing, a quart of turkey gravy, and a pint of cranberry sauce. The turkeys are cooked now, the dressing comes in frozen, the cranberry sauce-ditto, and the giblet gravy-yea it too. Thick as a brick.

I participated in many Thanksgivings-too many looking back in hindsight-at my old digs. This year I have determined that I will not work Thanksgiving this year. I will wake up like most of North America, enjoy a hearty breakfast, watch the Lions-Packers football game, take a few naps, and then stuff myself like the poor old turkey lying on the kitchen table.

And this year I refuse to utter these words: "A 10-12 lb. turkey, 2 quarts of dressing, a quart of gravy, and a pint of cranberry sauce.

And I refuse to answer the phone. During Thanksgiving at H.W., the aforementioned used to ring off the hook.

And who said you can't teach old cats new tricks.

Gimme shelter, v.c.

P.S. I once wrote this foray for Thanksgiving circa 2001. It is reprinted here with the permission of yours truly. The subject matter was a parody of an old sit-com and my old company, which was introducing a new product that year called "universal dressing." And it was truly out of this world.Here it is: Submitted for your approval and perusal:

Leave It To Beaver
by: vietnamcatfish (39/M/Golden Pond) 11/26/01 10:58 pm
Msg: 3127 of 7432


And Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.

The setting is the Cleaver's house at Thanksgiving. Wally has invited his two friends, Lumpy Rutherford and Eddie Haskell, over for dinner.

Beaver had invited his friends Whitey, Gilbert, and Larry Mondello, but they had made prior plans. They were invited to Miss Rayburn's ( their principal ) house for T.G.

Scene 1: The participants are seated around the kitchen table. Ward is carving the turkey.

Ward: "Dig in, everyone."

Eddie: "Mrs. Cleaver, this dressing is delicious. You must have slaved all day in the kitchen to cook such a magnificent feast."

June: "You'll never believe this. But all these goodies came from Piccadilly. More giblet gravy, Ward."

Ward: "No thanks, June. Piccadilly, eh? But pass the potato souffle."

Wally: "It's carrot souffle, Dad, and I made it. Mom bought 3 quarts, put it in the oven, and voila. There it is."

Ward: "Now, Wally. There's no such thing as carrot souffle."

Wally: "But, Dad?"

June: "No, it's true, Ward. Wally is the new prep cook at Piccadilly, and he made pots and pots full for T.G."

Ward: "What are you going to do with the money you earn, Wallace?"

Wally: "Buy that roadster I've had my eye on. Get it rolled and pleated. Take Mary Ellen Rogers to the drive-in. And put the rest in the bank for my college education."

Ward: "I'm proud of you, son."

Eddie: "This dressing is so delicious. Another helping, please."

June: "It's called universal dressing, Eddie. And have as much as you want. I bought extra side packs."

Eddie: "It's out of this world, all right. Pass the cranberry sauce, please!"

June: "I'm afraid it hasn't thawed. It was frozen when I picked it up."

All: Laugh nervously.

Lumpy: "Huh. I've never heard of frozen cranberry sauce."

Wally: "Knock it off, Lumpy."

June: "Who's ready for peach cobbler?"

End of scene 1 Scene 2: Wally, Beav, Eddie, and Lumpy retire to the kid's room.

Eddie: Man, that dressing was the pits. And the giblet gravy was lumpier than Lumpy."

Wally: "Knock it off, Eddie."

Beaver: "Yeah, Eddie."

Eddie: "Pipe down, squirt."

Wally suddenly remembers he has to be at Miss Lander's house. She wants the recipe for carrot souffle. She found out that he was the new prep cook at Piccadilly.

Wally leaves his friends. Eddie and Lumpy rush out of the house. They almost knock over June and Ward, who are standing near the bottom of the stairs.

June: "Beaver, where did Wally go?"

Beaver: "Miss Landers house."

June: "Beaver, what about Eddie and Lumpy?"

Beaver: "Eddie and Lumpy are going to Piccadilly. To apply for a job, or something. They want to show Miss Landers how to make universal dressing."

Ward and June sigh. End of scene 2.

"Thanks Hootster"

For penning tonite's foray. Don't have a clue what it's about. But this mini-flick uses the classic "Queen" song, "Bohemian Rhapsody, for your viewing pleasure.
Gimme shelter, v.c.

P.S. If anyone can explain the film, please drop me a line. Shirley, it contains references to George W. Eh? Maybe I'll send it to my progressive sister for translation.

"From My Sister, Olga" or "I Told You She Was A Bona-Fide Liberal"

I recently received this foray from my sister, Olga. As for the subject matter, I report, you decide.

"IMPEACH BUSH AND ENTER THE "GUESS HOW MANY INDICTMENTS" POOL

As always we feature the action link first, this one to call for the
impeachment of George Bush

http://www.millionphonemarch.com/impeach.htm

There is a storm of historic proportions headed for the United States, one
that will make Hurricane Wilma (also en route) look like a small splash in
the pond by comparison. It's been building and gathering strength in the
increasingly hot waters of the Special Counsel's office for almost two
years, and in a matter of days it may lay waste to the entire political
infrastructure of Washington, D.C., from one end to the other.

We start with the understanding that the crime of the century (so far) has
taken place in Iraq. Lies and forged evidence duped the American people
into waging preemptive war against a country that posed no threat to us --
all for the cynical and greedy purpose of enriching a handful of the Bush
administration's closest cronies. In the process, over 100,000 people have
been senselessly murdered and maimed, including many thousands of our own
service people. Hundreds of billions of dollars have been looted from the
treasuries of two countries, mostly our own. Even worse, many believe that
the attack of 9/11 was not only foreseen by the inner circle of our
government, but that orders for a deliberate "stand-down" allowed it to
occur. Why? So that the horrific resulting tragedy would justify all that
followed.

The magnitude of these crimes is so monumental that their perpetrators were
obsessed with suppressing any evidence of it. They ruthlessly smeared all
critics, purging and intimidating any dissenting voices. For them the
treasonous acts of exposing (and thereby destroying) one of our most
critical intelligence assets (a front company secretly working to prevent
the spread of WMD), were just another day's collateral damage. Having lied
successfully for so long, having corrupted their mainstream corporate media
lap dogs, and having made eunuchs of many in the "opposition" party, they
considered themselves unassailable. Such arrogance has seldom been equaled.

What they did not count on was Patrick Fitzgerald. The letter which
appointed him as Special Counsel granted to him the "authority of the
Attorney General . . . independent of the supervision or control of any
officer of the Department." Careful to confirm the extent of his mandate,
he further inquired and was advised that

"[It] is plenary and includes the authority to investigate and prosecute
violations of any federal criminal laws related to the underlying alleged
unauthorized disclosure, as well as federal crimes committed in the course
of, and with intent to interfere with, your investigation, such as perjury,
obstruction of justice, destruction of evidence, and intimidation of
witnesses; to conduct appeals arising out of the matter being investigated
and/or prosecuted . . ."

"Plenary" means "absolute and unqualified." In a word, Fitzgerald has all
the power of the attorney general, the top law enforcement officer of the
federal government himself, to pursue the facts wherever they may lead. It
therefore appears he now possesses his own authority, and cannot be legally
removed from his position, even by Bush. He has his own operating budget
too, direct from the GAO.

For the criminal purposes of the Bush administration, Patrick Fitzgerald is
their worst nightmare come true. He is a career prosecutor with a
reputation for being not only "frighteningly" brilliant but fearless, and
with a driving passion for determining the truth, their most mortal enemy.
Indeed, the fastest way to get Fitzgerald's fur up is to try to lie to him
as a witness. See, he's a workaholic already, and liars just make him work
harder. And if you've committed a federal crime like maybe . . . oh gee,
maybe like perjury . . . says an old attorney friend, "Pat Fitzgerald's
gonna get ya." Oh, and did we mention that he always goes for the person at
the top of the conspiracy?

For those who are still trying to get their minds around the possible
indictment of Rove and Libby, now a near certainty, consider that no one in
the Bush camp is capable of telling the truth under any circumstances. As
for Bush himself, one of his Harvard Business School professors said that
Dubya was "famous" in his class for being a "pathological" liar. Bush has
known all along who the leakers were, and he's been lying all along.
Fitzgerald interviewed Bush for over an hour, and it's unlikely that he told
the truth in any respect. Bad move, George. Fitzie don't play that.

But wait, you say; that interview wasn't under oath. Try telling that to
Martha Stewart who just got out of prison from her conviction for deceiving
an investigator. Likewise with Dick Cheney. Even if two of his bag men had
not cut deals with Fitzgerald already. And as for those who did testify
untruthfully to the grand jury under oath, ask Li'l Kim what heinous lie she
told to keep her in federal prison for a year. All she did was deny that
she knew somebody that she did, in fact, know.

So let's put it together. We have a president who seems unable to tell the
truth. We have an independent prosecutor of immaculate integrity who will
not tolerate a lie. The INESCAPABLE conclusion is that Bush will be
indicted, along with each and every member of his administration who
participated in this. There has been talk on the web of 22 indictments.
Rove and Libby -- (that's two), add two for Hannah and Wurmser (already
cooperating but not given immunity), plus Bush and Cheney -- that gets us up
to six . . . why don't we just say conservatively for the purposes of the
pool . . . that 12 people will be indicted.

Besides perjury (and false statements), Fitzgerald has conspiracy and
obstruction of justice to pick from as well, and those are just a couple of
the technical crimes. Remember that he has the authority to pursue this
investigation wherever it leads, and he is driven to do just that. He was
born for this. Among other things, he requested from the Italian
authorities the files on the forging of the Niger documents themselves.
That was what Joe Wilson's trip was all about. And why they were so
compelled to "out" his wife in the first place in their clumsy attempt to
discredit him. What do you think the chances are that the most zealous
prosecutor they could have appointed won't get to the bottom of that one,
too? He may even expose what really happened on 9/11. Wouldn't that be the
"coup de grace"?

So what happens next? What happens if Bush tries to preemptively pardon
everyone, INCLUDING himself? Even Nixon wasn't that shameless. But don't
put it past Bush to trigger the greatest constitutional crisis of all time.
There are a couple of wrinkles involved here, beyond even the public outroar
that would result. The constitution states that the president has the power
to pardon "except in Cases of Impeachment." That's why it is important that
you act now to demand the impeachment of Bush for all the high crimes and
misdemeanors that he has committed already. In the end it may be the only
way to restrain him.

TAKE ACTION NOW AT http://www.millionphonemarch.com/impeach.htm

If Bush tries to pardon himself AND cling to power, expect winds of historic
intensity for change. And in the center of it all there will be a vacuum of
power. For those politicians who have shown no courage so far, this will be
their last chance! Don't be surprised to see the conspirators running to
Roberts, their latest crony appointment, to try to find a way out. And
eternal shame on any member of the senate who lets that one slide without
demanding each and every document that could help reveal the truth.

Please take action NOW, so we can win all victories that are supposed to be
ours, and forward this message to everyone else you know.

If you would like to get alerts like these, you can do so at
http://www.usalone.com/in.htm

Or if you want to cease receiving our messages, just use the function at
http://www.usalone.com/out.htm

Powered by The People's Email Network
Copyright 2005, Patent pending, All rights reserved

"Obligatory Movie Trailer"

I'm watching the "Godfather" part deux while typing this foray. Kay has just told Michael that she didn't have a miscarriage; she had an abortion. And Frodo, er, Fredo's luck has run out; his mom has died and Michael will soon extract revenge. And Connie is pleading with Michael to forgive Frodo, er, Fredo. Unfortunately, as I know and you probably know, Fredo ain't gonna make the cut. And whatever happened to Moe Green?

What this has to do with anything is anybody's guess. So let's bypass the meanderings and get right to it. Tonite's obligatory Movie Trailer.
It comes from the master of suspense. One of this writer's favorite movie scores.

Gimme shelter, v.c.
P.S. Rockhead, sorry about the 'Stro's. Maybe Andy will help them bounce back tomorrow?

"Golden Slumbers" or "When I'm 54"

Ode To Kitty:

When I get older, losing my hair, many years from now,
Will you still be sending me a Valentine,birthday greetings,
bottle of wine?
If I'd been out 'till quarter to three,would you lock the door?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm fifty-four?

Hmm------mmm---mmmh.
You'll be older, too.Aaah, and if you say the word, I could stay
with you.


I could be handy, mending a fuse, when your lights have gone.
You can knit a sweater by the fireside, sunday mornings, go for
a ride.
Doing the garden, digging the weeds, who could ask for more?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm fifty
four?


Every summer we can rent a cottage in the Isle of Wight if it's
not too dear. We shall scrimp and save.
Ah, grandchildren on your knee, Vera, Chuck, and Dave.


Send me a postcard, drop me a line stating point of view.
Indicate precisely what you mean to say, yours sincerely wasting
away.
Give me your answer, fill in a form, mine forever more.
Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm fifty
four?

"Viva Las Vegas"

One of the best movies from the Pelvis Co-starring the delightful and strikingly beautiful Ann Margaret, a redhead for those who don't know. As chronicled in the Pond's previous forays, I have always had a thing for the carrot-top female gender, sans freckles.

"Good Night"

Now it's time to say good night
Good night Sleep tight
Now the sun turns out his light
Good night Sleep tight
Dream sweet dreams for me
Dream sweet dreams for you.

Close your eyes and I'll close mine
Good night Sleep tight
Now the moon begins to shine
Good night Sleep tight
Dream sweet dreams for me
Dream sweet dreams for you.

Close your eyes and I'll close mine
Good night Sleep tight
Now the sun turns out his light
Good night Sleep tight
Dream sweet dreams for me
Dream sweet dreams for you.

Good night Good night Everybody
Everybody everywhere
Good night.

"Funny Shtick"

The Proprietor of the Pond always enjoyed the madcap antics of Abbot and Costello. Haven't seen one in many moons, but they hold up today. And all were made in glorious black and white.

"Only The Shadow Knows"

Me and Kitty had a blast in Vegas and want to go back soon. In fact Kitty wants to live there permanently. I'm game. Maybe we'll have to wait until Catlain graduates from college.

My new company is sending me and my peers to Tampa tomorrow. Just for the day. We're going to Busch Gardens. Should be fun.

I have tried to respond to pictru's post on the Yahoo, but the Gawds won't allow it. Been trying for two days. Here it is in case it never sees the light of day on the PIC message board:

"You know you live on the Gulf Coast" is an entertaining foray. And very engaging.
I tried to write a response last nite but it wasn't meant to be. Saved it but it disappeared faster than Harry Houdini.

Anyway, last night on the news all the major networks carried this story revolving around a survivor of Hurricane Katrina. If any of you missed it here it is in its entirety. Poor guy.

Submitted for your approval and perusal, v.c.

P,S, The link must be pasted into your browser. http://turnerclassicmovies.com/Multimedia/Popup/0,,87210|87213,00.html

"Watching the Wheels"

I'm just sitting here watching the ball game. It's do or die time for the Cardinals. They just flashed a picture of George and Babs Bush in attendance. They are friends of Roger Clemens, aka the "Rocket Man."

There's nothing like playoff baseball in October. Something always bizarre happens, and it happened last night in the final game of the Angels/White Sox. Kelvim Escobar should have gotten out of the inning on a weak comebacker but forgot to put the ball in his glove, allowing A.J. Pierzynski to reach first. Shades of the Cubbies fan in the NLCS a few moons ago; the White Sox scored 3 runs on the botched play and never looked back.

It was 1959 when the Sox last went to the World Series. I remember some of the players. Early Wynn, Nellie Fox, Luis Aparicio and Minnie Minoso. Their manager, the enigmatic Al Lopez.

Time to get back to George and Babs. Cards still winning 2-1 in the top of the seventh.

Gimme shelter, vc
P.S. Here's a link for all you sci-fi fans. For those who may have missed it the first time.

"Cranberry Sauce" or "I Buried Paul"

Sleepy. So sleepy. Cranberry sauce.

"Your Tax $$$$$$$$ At Work"

Air-brush artist Chris Coakley, a worker at Goodrich Aerospace in Everett, Wash., paints an Alaska Airlines 737, now called the "Salmon-Thirty-Salmon," to look like a giant King Salmon Friday, Sept. 23, 2005. A crew of 30 painters spent 24 days on the job, intended to highlight Alaska Airlines' history of shipping large quantities of fresh seafood from Alaska to points all over the country. (AP Photo/Ted S. Warren)  

"Mile High Club"

Why didn't they have this airline when I was a young teenaged buck. With a pink carnation and a pickup truck? The following pictures are from Fark.com: In celebration of $500,000 in taxpayer money going to paint a fish on a plane, photoshop some other ideas for the government to paint on aircraft 

"Crosstown Traffic"

"Electric Ladyland" 

"Not Fade Away"

R.I.P. Buddy, Big Bopper, and Ritchie. 

"Shirley?"

Shirley, this quote is from "Airplane." Roger, roger. What's the vector, Victor?" 

"Mohammad Airlines"

Fly the unfriendly skies of "Mohammad." 

"Sal-Mon"

Methinks I've ridden Salmon Airlines. Btw, does the reader pronounce the aforementioned species of fish as "sal-mon" or "sa-mon?" 

"Rain Man to Vegas Would Have Been A Good Idea, eh?"

"Rain Man." [ Raymond ] Autism with Dustin and Tom. 

"Chaos and Creation in the Backyard"

Of course I love it.

"Quickie"

We've seen the headline over and over that George Bush's poll numbers are now lower than they've ever been. By these reports, you would think such low poll numbers were unprecedented. Bush, who once enjoyed high poll numbers, has hit rock bottom of late. Blame for Katrina, Iraq, gas prices and on and on. An average of his approval rating among various polls is about 40%. Low? Yes. Unprecedented? Hardly. Let's look at the lowest approval rating of previous presidents:
Bush Sr. 29%
LBJ 35%
Clinton 37%
Reagan 35%
Nixon 24%
Ford 37%
Carter 28%

Well, at an average 40% approval rating low, it looks like George W. Bush has bested the lowest approval rating of his predecessors. Besides, who cares about Bush's approval rating? He's a lame duck...it's not like he's going to ever be running for office again.

Leave it to the media to continually report a non-story.

Thanks to Boortz

"The Pond Returns" or "Nassau, Here We Come"

Me and Kitty never made it to the Bahamas as originally planned. It's a long story. Thwarted in our attempt to fly to the fun and sun of Nassau, we ended up in ..... See next picture. 

"Leo The Lion" or "Desert Paradise"

Yes, we went to Las Vegas and stayed at this hotel. 5000 rooms. This is no typo. Fantasy Land personified. The staff was professional at every turn unlike The Pond where service is sometimes abysmal.  

"Stand or Hit"

Why go to Vegas? This is where I spent most of my time. And "I [ we ] had the time of my life and I owe it all to you." [ Kitty ] Apologies to dirty dancin.' My pumpkin. [ Kitty ] Thank you. Je t'aime. Au revoir, v.c., your hubby. 

"It Happens" ( Apologies to Gump ) or "Hiatus"

It was a tough challenge. Pettite, Clemens, and Oswald, er, Oswalt. 5 game series. Smoltzie couldn't go in game 1. Bobby sets himself up for second-guessing. And every move he made seemed to turn to shit. ( pardon the french ) The much-maligned bullpen faltered and so it went. Damn, The good news. Me and Kitty are off to Nassau for 3 days so the Pond will be on hiatus. I'm sorry to my loyal readers and know you will Shirley encounter withdrawal pangs. But I shall return. Apologies to General McArthur.  

"Cry Baby Cry" or "Make Your Mother Sigh"

She's sad too cos the Bravos lost. It's o.k. sweetie; there's always next year. Wahhhhhh! 

"Obligatory"

One of the funniest movies ever. All-star cast? Where do we begin? Milton Berle, Ethel Merman, Sid Caesar, Buddy Hackett, Jonathon Winters, Phil Silvers, etc. Cameos by Jerry Lewis, the 3 Stooges, Buster Keaton, Jack Benny, etc. All of Hollywood wanted to be in this film. And most of them were. And this is tonite's obligatory trailer from TCM. P.S. I watched it a year or so ago and it STILL holds up. Funny, funny movie. 

"Redneck Love Poem"

Redneck Valentine Love Poem

Collards is green
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.

You have som'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.

Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,
these won't do.
Cause yo're too special,
you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds...
IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!!!

A tip of the cap to my buddy Neal Boortz, who once went by Neal von Boortz when his savvy producer thought it would make for better theatre. Ah, show biz.

"And Justice For All" or "Why Am I Writing This at 4 in the Morning" or "I'm On The Nite Train-ready to Crash and Burn-I Never Learn" With Apologi

Great movie from 1979 starring Al Pacino. The obligatory trailer from yours truly is quite cute in the beginning. A must hear! 

"Jorge Is So Obscure Even Google Doesn't Carry a Decent Picture of Him"

Jorge Sosa, who was 9-0 on the road this season, is penciled in to face Houston 20-game winner Roy Oswalt in Game 3 Saturday at Houston. I will go out on a limb and predict the Bravos will win against the Asstros and Roy Oswalt in today's game. Wonder if Roy is any relation to Lee Harvey Oswalt, er, Oswald? P.S. And to the misguided fan who responded to the Pond and said "Go Asstros," I hope you will have to savor one of Brittney's poots in the distant future. Go Bravos!!!!!!! But thanks for reading, whoever you are.
 

"Baseball Been Berry Berry Good ....." or "Worn-Out Cliche, eh?"

Manny Mota, methinks has the all-time record for pinch hitters, or at least he held it at one time. Notice the name of the team he played for, the Houston Colt 45's. A link will follow that gives you some history re: the name. The 45'ers played in an outdoor stadium in the beginning, and the fans and players had to battle thousands of giant [ Texas, you know ] mosquitos during the games. And it was as hot as Hades on the field.  

"Alien Carrot From Outer Space" or "The Thing"

Submitted for your approval is the trailer from "The Thing From Another Planet." Starring James "Gunsmoke" Arness, brother to Peter "Fury" Graves. Also see "Mission Impossible." Not the one with Tom Cruise.

"Roger Who?"

The Atlanta Braves kicked some serious ass tonite when John "My Man" Smoltz outdueled Roger "1st Ballot Hall-of-Famer" Clemens in game two of the N.L.D.S.  

Take Me Out To the [ Braves ] Ball Game" or "Buy Me Some Peanuts and Crackerjacks"

So gas prices are out the roof , and people are dying in Iraq and other points on the compass, and there's a brouhaha brewing in the Supreme Court, and N'awlins has been devestated, and flight attendants are pissed with their portrayal in Jodi Foster's new movie, and 800 million Chinese don't give a shit about our national pasttime, and my buddy hoots is writing about Abu Ghraib, and Brittany Spears admitted "pooting" and "burping" like any other person when she's not on stage, and yours truly tries to stay engaged with the national scene, but the Braves came through tonite with "Smoltzie" on the mound.

I told me mum, who is one of the Bravos biggest fans, that "Smoltzie would come through in the big game and kick Houston's Asstros back to Texas. Sure, they got beat in the first game, but they just needed to get a bad outing out of their system, due to their past performances in the playoffs since 1995, when they won their only World series. Ironically, it was a strike-shortened season back in the days of Bill Clinton.

Brittany's pooting and burping is a big story along with the other aforementioned topics, but I've had enough of the depressing news stories for this month. So bring on baseball, and most of all, my Bravos. Who this pundit is picking to kick some ass in the World Serious, er, Series. See ya in late October.  

"Twelve Angry Men"

I'm pooped tonite so we'll go the ez route with the original trailer from "Twelve Angry Men," a movie I can watch anytime it's on the airwaves. With an all star cast. Jack Klugman, [ "Quincy"/"Odd Couple" ] Ed Begley, Henry Fonda, Jack Weston, E,G. Marshall, Lee J. Cobb, Martin Balsam, etc.

"What's That In The Rear View Mirror" or "A Leisurely Drive"

A clip from "Earth vs. The Flying Saucers."

"Weis Grants Little Boy's Dying Wish"

SOUTH BEND, Ind. -- Charlie Weis doesn't usually let anyone else call plays on offense. He made an exception for 10-year-old Montana Mazurkiewicz.
The Notre Dame coach met last week with Montana, who had been told by doctors weeks earlier that there was nothing more they could do to stop the spread of his inoperable brain tumor.
"He was a big Notre Dame fan in general, but football especially," said his mother, Cathy Mazurkiewicz. 

"Slud Into Third" [ Sliding With Great Effort ]

Everybody knows the "Yogi Berraisms" [ "nobody goes there anymore-it's too busy" ] and some know of Casey Stengel and his "isms," but does anyone recall the equal of the above twosome, "Dizzy" Dean.

I remember as a kid when Dizzy and Pee Wee [ Reese ] were broadcasting games on CBS and its "Baseball Game of the Week." Seems the teachers at some point wanted Dizzy removed, because he used words like "ain't." And his most famous: "slud into third base." According to Dizzy, "Well what's wrong with ain't? And as for saying (Phil) Rizzuto slud into third' it just ain't natural. Sounds silly to me. Slud is something more than slid. It means sliding with great effort.

Some more Dizzy witticisms:

"He (Branch Rickey) must think I went to the Massachesetts Constitution of Technology." - The Sporting News (1936)

"He (Bill Terry) once hit a ball between my legs so hard that my center-fielder caught it on the fly backing up against the wall."

"Let the teachers teach English and I will teach baseball. There is a lot of people in the United States who say isn't, and they ain't eating."

"I know who's the best pitcher I ever see and it's old Satchel Paige, that big lanky colored boy. My fastball looks like a change of pace alongside that little pistol bullet ole Satchel (Paige) shoots up to the plate." - Sport (1969)
For more click on ye olde link, s'il vous plait.

"Good Evening"

My TCM Newletter came today. And why not show a trailer from 1960.
Click here for a clue.

"Being For The Benefit of Mr. Kite?"

"Huh?" 

"Circa "68"

Q: I've listed a group of songs that I associate with you "You've Got To Hide your Love Away," "Strawberry Fields," "It's Only Love," "She Said She Said," "Lucy in the Sky," "I'm Only Sleeping," "Run for Your Life," "I Am the Walrus," [ My personal favourite: v.c. ] "All You Need Is Love," "Rain," "Girl."

A: The ones that really meant something to me - look, I don't know about "Hide Your Love Away," that's so long ago - probably "Strawberry Fields," "She Said," Wlrus," "Rain," "Girl," there are just one or two others, "Day Tripper," "Paperback Writer," even. "Ticket to Ride" was one more, I remember that. It was a definite sort of change. "Norwegian Wood"- that was the sitar bit. Definitely, I consider them moods or moments.  

"Evidence The World Has Gone Mad: Volume IV"

I was unaware of the hoopla concerning this movie until my wife, Kitty, informed me today. It takes a lot to rile her and to make her vocal, especially on the world front, but this did. And more evidence the world has gone mad. And just for the halibut-no relation-I plan on viewing the flick in the near future. With all the problems in the world, imho, the flight attendants cause ranks quite low on the richter scale.