"Dear Cat"

It's time for a new "Dear Cat." So here we go.'

Dear Cat: I have been perusing your column for years but have noticed a paucity of posts lately. What have you been up to? Have you lost your passion for Golden Pond? In other words wherefore art thou? Signed "To be or not to be?"''

Dear   R n J: I had to look up paucity on dic.com before I could answer, so ,yes, you are right kemo sabe.  What have I been up to? Selling seafood down by the seashore or to be more specific, selling seafood down at the local grocer.

Instead of would you like to make that a super dilly, or would you like fries with your can't see your toes burger, I now utter would you like any shrimp with your order? Or crab legs, or surimi, or crawfish, or scallops-well, you get the drift.

I like working there, because I can do my shtick with the customers. I sometimes tell them I've been on a seafood diet all my life, or I see food differently allah a certain restaurant chain. I even get to sit down for 30 minutes for lunch without having to answer the phone or fielding queries from the staff or rowdy guests. At Hell Whole, my employment venue of 30 years, passive aggressive was a way of life.  So, life is good. Perhaps my little niche in this imperfect world has been found.

Thanks for reading my column and for improving my vocabulary-one word at a time, and thanks for the query.

Dear Cat: Sorry to hear your mom passed away. How are you coping? Signed: Mother's Day is this Sunday.

Dear Mom, Mom had a good life of 87 years, but her ticker just gave out. There are many things I miss:

Her telling me when to get a haircut. And when to color my hair. "You look 10 years younger when you cut your hair and color it."

Looking for those weird items in the grocery store that took forever to find. "Can you tell me where the saffron honey cluster clusters are? And the root of cloister?"

Getting giddy when her cumodin ( sp and too lazy to look it up ) level was between 2 n 3.

Eating at the Café Pig which had really good Brunswick stew-excellent brisket and homemade banana pudding.

Missing her period, cos we were joined at the hip. What more can I say?

And thanks for the query.

Dear Cat: I have often thought that life's a ball if only you know it. and it's all just waiting for you. Do you agree? Signed C. Birdie.

Dear Conrad: Not so sure these days. As John Ono Lennon once sang: "Why in the world ( r ) we here; Shirley not to live in pain and fear?" What more can I say? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqP3wT5lpa4

Thanks for the query.

P.S. It's farewell and adieu time. methinks we need a bigger boat. Gimme shelter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ry03vdJCe60