Not sure what happened. Yes, we have theories. But theories are like ....You know the drill. Theories abound. Is it possible for a sharpshooter, allah Lee Harvey Oswald, to deliver two pinpoint shots high above the depository? ( see grassy noll ) Did Sonny Liston take a dive in round 7 of his match with the then Cassius Clay? Back in the day. Did John Kerry receive band-aid ( brand ) purple hearts? Only the Shadow knows! And even the infamous crimefighter may be held-up to scrutiny.
Once again, we will attempt to relay a post from the Yahoo to the Blog, Golden Pond. Hang on to your seats!
1) Because most of the new recruits hail from fast food establishments, each cafeteria will be required to have a scatter bar serving hot dogs, hamburgers, and fries in the dining room. 2 slaw/chili dogs plus fries for a meager $6.00 plus tax. Includes a drink. Nothing but dollar signs!!!!!!
2) Peanut Vendors in the lobby. "Get your hot fresh-roasted peanuts, here! $2.00 a bag!" The price will be based on fluctuations in the market. For those close to Plains, Ga., and because it's an election year, clever mgrs. should engage the services of the ex-president for goober nite.
3) Bring back Trevrep the Clown for Rowdy Kids Nite. Cotton candy, caramel/candied apples will be handed out to each child for a mere $1.00 a pop. Anyone who still has glossies of the Trevrep clown, please write to him @Trevreptheclown@pervertsrus.com. He would love to hear from you!
4) In keeping with the single play, double, play, triple play theme, our valued guests may add a ribeye, t bone, or filet mignon for an extra $5.00. In continuing with the baseball lingo, it will be called a HOME RUN!
5) Going out on a limb with this one, but give legitimate kids bread on a child's plate. Sure, kids don't like bread, especially rolls, but go for the gusto, cos you only go around once in this crazy mixed-up world. ( Apollo g's to Miller Beer and Bogie ) Who remembers when we were afraid to give jello to the little twits, er, kids?
6) Carnival Night-recommended on your slowest night. Everyone loves the fair, especially a game of chance. "Dunk the little lady in the bain marie" ( or fountain if you have one ) "Step right up, sir, only 3 balls for a dollar."Since we don't make dressing in bain maries anymore, each cafeteria should have an extra one lying around. Dunk 'em once, each recipient receives a small prize, a teddy bear, pix of Justin Timberlake, Brittany Spears, or Michael, er, Janet Jackson. Dunk 'em twice. Each contestant receives a medium-size prize,and dunk 'em thrice, each child receives a large teddy bear. Adult females receive a teddy for the boudoir, and adult males can have an autographed 8X10 glossy of the Nipple, courtesy of Janet J. Gay males may opt for the teddy if necessary.
7) Elvis Impersonation Nite: My friend and confidant, Alan Smithee, already has his set lined up, if approved by the brass. The playlist includes: "( Let Me Be Your ) Teddy Bear," in keeping with the spirit of carnival nite; and "Crawfish" from "King Creole." Guests may substitute any crawfish delicacy for any steak ( see Home Run )
8) Ronnie Nite: ( imho ) Any guest who is abusive, onery, loud, or obnoxious gets thrown out of the cafeteria. The Manager is then required to call the police, allah the crime series, "Cops." And, voila, another Reality tv show makes its debut. Rules require a call to "Red Lobster" to see if they will serve his sorry ass. Start training your team members well-versed in photography, especially hand held video ones.
9) Nostalgia Nite: This nite is reserved for the old promotions. Yes, we're bringing back smokeyard bbq, terrormisu cake, meatballs classico gas, steakhouse filets, strip steak, etc. To see if the hankering is still there for these delicious treats.
10) Hire me, vietnamcatfish, as the new marketing director. Some may recall I graduated magna cum rowdy at Truck U. back in the day. A little boning-up here and there and if the shoe fits ( apologies to the all you can eat steak promotion ) I'll wear it.
Farewell and adieu, v.c. Submitted for your approval and perusal.
Monday, September 27, 2004
Publish or Perish
This blogging business is new to me. I wonder if anyone has happened upon "Golden Pond?" Were my writings quickly dismissed? Did anyone read any of the posts? Shirley, someone has stumbled upon it. But did they stay and read? My blog has no hype, no exciting pictures, no wizardry of modern technology to enthrall the reader. Just the written word. And as chronicled in a recent foray, most of the writers appear to be on the liberal side.
I have read the various left-wing accounts, and they are similar to the right-wing accounts. Left-wing bias? Bah, humbug. Provided you are are liberal. Right-wing bias of the media? Shirley, no one believes that. But I will leave it up to the political pundits to hash it out. Plus, trying to sway voters ain't my thing. Their agendas have been fulfilled a long, long time ago.
Me, I've got to publish or parish, er, perish. This line is reserved for my friends in the bayou. And lately, it's been difficult. Can't seem to come up with any subject matter. Don't ask me why?
I could write about getting a haircut today. The barbershop is a throwback to the 60's. They've got the little pole on the outside, and they're closed on Wednesdays. The owner is a guy in his 50's with hair down to his mid-back. He is balding in the forehead region and systematically pulls his tresses into a ponytail. There are two other barbers, both in their late 50's, early 60's. Typical, average Joe. Tho Chaz has his glasses hooked to his ears via strings ( don't know what you call them ) allah a secretary.
They smoke cigarettes while performing their expertise on your scalp and try to engage you in small talk. The tv is normally turned to NASCAR or a football/baseball game?
"Do you like racing?" the owner asked of me. Let's call him Pete.
I usually like to sit in the chair and try to relax, so his question startled me. And I never could "get into" cars going around in a circle for hours upon hours. So I lied.
"Racing's cool." was my answer. I know Kyle and Richard Petty, who is the spokesman for Goody Headache Powders. And Fireball Roberts, who died in a fiery crash back in the day. And Darrell Waltrip comes to mind. And Dale Earnhart. But that's the extent of my knowledge.
"You like to hunt? Chaz just bagged a deer." Pete asked.
I was dozing-off as the whirring sound was tickling the hairs in my ears. His question reminded me of the trauma felt when Bambi's mother met her waterloo, so, again, I lied.
"Hunting's cool," I mumbled.
"Want some of Chaz's venison steaks?"
For some reason, my mind drifted to H.W. ( my employment venue ) After dealing with raw chicken, bloody livers, inside/outside rounds, chopped beef, halibuts and the like, etc., the idea wasn't tempting-makes a fella want to become a vegetarian. So, again, I lied.
"Sure. I love venison."
Pete wheeled the chair around in front of the mirror for my approval and perusal. He had given me the obligatory "medium." I noticed the balding forehead and the graying hair, and once again, I lied:
"It looks great, Pete."
"All rightee, cat. Pull up to the door so's Chaz can load up your car."
Driving home, I kept glancing at my new doo and grimacing while looking at the steaks.
Yeah, the blogging biz is getting into my blood. ( apologies to the venison steaks ) Where do we go from here? Will Golden Pond become a safe haven for liberals, or will they denounce it as a refugee for right-wingers? Only time will tell.
For now, it's farewell and adieu time, v.c., your irreverent host.
P.S. Publish or perish, eh?
I have read the various left-wing accounts, and they are similar to the right-wing accounts. Left-wing bias? Bah, humbug. Provided you are are liberal. Right-wing bias of the media? Shirley, no one believes that. But I will leave it up to the political pundits to hash it out. Plus, trying to sway voters ain't my thing. Their agendas have been fulfilled a long, long time ago.
Me, I've got to publish or parish, er, perish. This line is reserved for my friends in the bayou. And lately, it's been difficult. Can't seem to come up with any subject matter. Don't ask me why?
I could write about getting a haircut today. The barbershop is a throwback to the 60's. They've got the little pole on the outside, and they're closed on Wednesdays. The owner is a guy in his 50's with hair down to his mid-back. He is balding in the forehead region and systematically pulls his tresses into a ponytail. There are two other barbers, both in their late 50's, early 60's. Typical, average Joe. Tho Chaz has his glasses hooked to his ears via strings ( don't know what you call them ) allah a secretary.
They smoke cigarettes while performing their expertise on your scalp and try to engage you in small talk. The tv is normally turned to NASCAR or a football/baseball game?
"Do you like racing?" the owner asked of me. Let's call him Pete.
I usually like to sit in the chair and try to relax, so his question startled me. And I never could "get into" cars going around in a circle for hours upon hours. So I lied.
"Racing's cool." was my answer. I know Kyle and Richard Petty, who is the spokesman for Goody Headache Powders. And Fireball Roberts, who died in a fiery crash back in the day. And Darrell Waltrip comes to mind. And Dale Earnhart. But that's the extent of my knowledge.
"You like to hunt? Chaz just bagged a deer." Pete asked.
I was dozing-off as the whirring sound was tickling the hairs in my ears. His question reminded me of the trauma felt when Bambi's mother met her waterloo, so, again, I lied.
"Hunting's cool," I mumbled.
"Want some of Chaz's venison steaks?"
For some reason, my mind drifted to H.W. ( my employment venue ) After dealing with raw chicken, bloody livers, inside/outside rounds, chopped beef, halibuts and the like, etc., the idea wasn't tempting-makes a fella want to become a vegetarian. So, again, I lied.
"Sure. I love venison."
Pete wheeled the chair around in front of the mirror for my approval and perusal. He had given me the obligatory "medium." I noticed the balding forehead and the graying hair, and once again, I lied:
"It looks great, Pete."
"All rightee, cat. Pull up to the door so's Chaz can load up your car."
Driving home, I kept glancing at my new doo and grimacing while looking at the steaks.
Yeah, the blogging biz is getting into my blood. ( apologies to the venison steaks ) Where do we go from here? Will Golden Pond become a safe haven for liberals, or will they denounce it as a refugee for right-wingers? Only time will tell.
For now, it's farewell and adieu time, v.c., your irreverent host.
P.S. Publish or perish, eh?
Archive This!
Back in the day when I was a fledgling writer on the PIC ( Piccadilly, southern cafeteria chain ) Yahoo, yours truly, v.c., wrote a series of articles on how our company ( Piccadilly, southern cafeteria chain ( deja-vu, eh? ) ) could increase business. The v.c. character was in the embryonic stage at the time-most of the yahoosters didn't know what to think of this new renegade. V.C. attempted to inject some humour into the bored, er, board and sometimes he would even write a serious post or two. After writing "Hill of Beans" he decided that what he said/wrote didn't amount to a hill of beans ( deja-vu, again ) and decided to go with the infantile ones instead.!
That was three years ago and change. And with anything else, practice makes perfect. Methinks a style has emerged. And it has been the utmost fun. I once tried writing a book ( before the Yahoo experience ) but imho it was lacking. It has been archived on disk but that's about it. My mother and ibbq4you2 think enough of my talents? as they continue to encourage me to begin work on another one, possibly to be entitled, "Pulp Affiction." Catchy, eh? And maybe the force will engage me one day and off we'll go. In the meantime, v.c. will be content to write on the PIC ( see above and yes, deja-vu ) Yahoo and my new weblog, Golden Pond.
"Ways to Increase Business" was the name of the aforementioned post, written in 2001. One poster, the enigmatic Bongobob, got his paneezinawad over the content. ( apollo g's to Hoots-see his weblog for more details ) But the Aussie eventually saw through the ruse and began delighting in v.c.'s submissions, which have always been for one's approval and perusal.
So without further adieu/fanfare, here is the sequel, published in 2004. Farewell and adieu, v.c.
P.S. Perhaps the original will see the light of day in a further excursion.
The old tried and true formulas for suckcess are kaput, fini'. The new millenium has since rolled in and found us in a heep of trouble. Everyone knows the story. But if we are to compete and stay afloat, new ideas must emerge. The new marketing gurus have gone by the book, and as mentioned in another post, some have made the grade and some have gone bust. Yours truly will submit for your approval and perusal, new ways to increase business in the following year.
That was three years ago and change. And with anything else, practice makes perfect. Methinks a style has emerged. And it has been the utmost fun. I once tried writing a book ( before the Yahoo experience ) but imho it was lacking. It has been archived on disk but that's about it. My mother and ibbq4you2 think enough of my talents? as they continue to encourage me to begin work on another one, possibly to be entitled, "Pulp Affiction." Catchy, eh? And maybe the force will engage me one day and off we'll go. In the meantime, v.c. will be content to write on the PIC ( see above and yes, deja-vu ) Yahoo and my new weblog, Golden Pond.
"Ways to Increase Business" was the name of the aforementioned post, written in 2001. One poster, the enigmatic Bongobob, got his paneezinawad over the content. ( apollo g's to Hoots-see his weblog for more details ) But the Aussie eventually saw through the ruse and began delighting in v.c.'s submissions, which have always been for one's approval and perusal.
So without further adieu/fanfare, here is the sequel, published in 2004. Farewell and adieu, v.c.
P.S. Perhaps the original will see the light of day in a further excursion.
The old tried and true formulas for suckcess are kaput, fini'. The new millenium has since rolled in and found us in a heep of trouble. Everyone knows the story. But if we are to compete and stay afloat, new ideas must emerge. The new marketing gurus have gone by the book, and as mentioned in another post, some have made the grade and some have gone bust. Yours truly will submit for your approval and perusal, new ways to increase business in the following year
Sunday, September 26, 2004
Penny the Poo
Well, we've been busy on the pond, Golden Pond, ( soon to be in syndication, so consult your local listings ) that is. Batoning down the hatches, preparing for the storm.
I had time to teach Penny the Poo <> some more tricks today. She is so smart.
me: "Penny, what's on top of our house?"
Penny: "Woof. Er, Woof."
me: "Good girl, Penny. Now, how does sandpaper feel to the touch?"
Penny: "Ruff. Er, Ruff."
See what I mean!
me: "Penny, what substance is found on the outside of a tree?"
Penny: "Bark. Er, Bark."After the training, me, Charlie Jr., and Penny went to Blockbuster. To rent some movies. But most of the movies were about psychopaths and cereal, er, serial killers. Ain't the world depressing enough w/o probing the dark side of the force?
So, I settled for Starsky and Hutch and Lawrence of Arabia, the old David Lean classic never before seen by these eyes. And Charlie Jr. checked out Dawn of the Dead and Pulp Fiction, the director's cut. And Penny wanted Messy Room, a cult favorite from the Beranstain Bears, and Atlassie, Come Home.
Btw, Lassie just celebrated her 50th anniversary on television. Remember the sad theme song at the end of the show. And how Lassie always saved Timmy from the elements. They don't make 'em like they used to.
The BB attendant claimed we were in arrears on our account and would we like to pay now or next time? "Duh?" was my reply. And Penny said woof when I asked her what was on top of the BB building. The attendant appeared non-plussed and unimpressed so we bade adieu, promising to square things on our next visit.
As we were driving home, a dilemma arose. Should this story be posted on the yahoo or should Golden Pond retain exclusive rights? Penny must have read my thoughts when she said ruff, knowing I was facing a tough choice.
And Charlie Jr. wanted to know my feelings on hoots new weblog.me: "I think it's a grand idea, Charlie. The hootster has always been the archivester. It's right up his alley. I look forward to the next installment."
Bout that time we pulled into the driveway. Up in one of the trees, two big eyes belonging to a feathered predator on the prowl were lying in wait for its prey.
me: "What's that, Penny? Up in the tree?"
Penny: "Grrrowl."
me: "Good girl. Atlassie, here we come."
Farewell and adieu, v.c.
P.S. Hoots, tell Anne Marie she is in error. There's two million and 3 bloggers who now write blogs. That's 2,000,003.
I had time to teach Penny the Poo <> some more tricks today. She is so smart.
me: "Penny, what's on top of our house?"
Penny: "Woof. Er, Woof."
me: "Good girl, Penny. Now, how does sandpaper feel to the touch?"
Penny: "Ruff. Er, Ruff."
See what I mean!
me: "Penny, what substance is found on the outside of a tree?"
Penny: "Bark. Er, Bark."After the training, me, Charlie Jr., and Penny went to Blockbuster. To rent some movies. But most of the movies were about psychopaths and cereal, er, serial killers. Ain't the world depressing enough w/o probing the dark side of the force?
So, I settled for Starsky and Hutch and Lawrence of Arabia, the old David Lean classic never before seen by these eyes. And Charlie Jr. checked out Dawn of the Dead and Pulp Fiction, the director's cut. And Penny wanted Messy Room, a cult favorite from the Beranstain Bears, and Atlassie, Come Home.
Btw, Lassie just celebrated her 50th anniversary on television. Remember the sad theme song at the end of the show. And how Lassie always saved Timmy from the elements. They don't make 'em like they used to.
The BB attendant claimed we were in arrears on our account and would we like to pay now or next time? "Duh?" was my reply. And Penny said woof when I asked her what was on top of the BB building. The attendant appeared non-plussed and unimpressed so we bade adieu, promising to square things on our next visit.
As we were driving home, a dilemma arose. Should this story be posted on the yahoo or should Golden Pond retain exclusive rights? Penny must have read my thoughts when she said ruff, knowing I was facing a tough choice.
And Charlie Jr. wanted to know my feelings on hoots new weblog.me: "I think it's a grand idea, Charlie. The hootster has always been the archivester. It's right up his alley. I look forward to the next installment."
Bout that time we pulled into the driveway. Up in one of the trees, two big eyes belonging to a feathered predator on the prowl were lying in wait for its prey.
me: "What's that, Penny? Up in the tree?"
Penny: "Grrrowl."
me: "Good girl. Atlassie, here we come."
Farewell and adieu, v.c.
P.S. Hoots, tell Anne Marie she is in error. There's two million and 3 bloggers who now write blogs. That's 2,000,003.
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Mind Bloggling
It's been a hoot ( pun unintended ) reading the various blogs. Just got through reading one. A 41 year old "stay-at-home-mom" who claims to be one of only two liberals in the state of Alabama. She cringed when reporting her moniker, but said she once worked in computers, made a lot of money and picked her boogers. Go figger, mon trigger.
All the blogs appear to have a liberal slant. Hoots-now who would figger-has his liberal agenda out there in the black whole of bloggerdom. The next Edward R. Murrow? We shall see.
Me, I'm content darning my sox in the nite when there's nobody there. What do I care? But, yeah I'd like to make the scene. Become world-famous. Be in demand. Get to guest host the Carson, er, Leno show. "I did not know that." And Ed saying, "Here's v.c...."
Or content just being a guest.
Jay: "Tonite one of our guests is the world-renowned blogger, v.c. from Golden Pond."
continues...."How'd you get your big break, v.c.?"
me: "Well, Jay, Hoots....
Interrupts....
Jay: "Not the Hoots that took Rather's place. The ultra-left winger that heads the Eye and who resuscitated the network's image?"
me: "Yeah, Jay. That Hoots. Exactly. Eye blogged, pictru blogged, he, she, it blogged and when I ran across the only two liberals in Alabama, well, the rest is history....
Letterman: "After the top ten list and stupid pet tricks, v.c. of bloggerdom fame will be our first guest. Do you like v.c., Paul?" ( Paul Shaefer )
Paul: "V.C's the bomb, Dave. You may now disembark the nite train. Farewell and adieu."
Letterman: "You do read v.c., eh, Paul?"
Paul: "His stuff is mind-bloggling. ( band plays "Sweet Home Alabama" as they head into a commercial break )
Dave throws a pencil through an imaginary pane of glass....
Barbara: "You were a manager at Piccadilly. You dealt with passive-aggressive team members, p.a. regional managers, and p.a. guests. You married Kitty, your one tru-luv. You toiled nites, weekends, and holidays. Your mentor was Bronco Billy and you worked with Cajunballsauvin. And yet you found the time to concoct a blog." ( Golden Pond )
me: "Ms. Walters, thank you for choosing me to be your last interview. You had your pick of the litter. Paul Newman, J Lo, Ben Affleck, Michael Moore, or Hoots at CBS and yet you chose me...."
Ah, bloggerdom. Like picking up rice in a church where a wedding has been. What does it mean? All the liberal bloggers. Where do they all come from? All the liberal bloggers. Where do they all belong? Farewell and adieu, v.c.
P.S. You may now disemabrk the nite train, allah Paul Shaefer. All abored!
P.S.S. Dyslexia, eh?
All the blogs appear to have a liberal slant. Hoots-now who would figger-has his liberal agenda out there in the black whole of bloggerdom. The next Edward R. Murrow? We shall see.
Me, I'm content darning my sox in the nite when there's nobody there. What do I care? But, yeah I'd like to make the scene. Become world-famous. Be in demand. Get to guest host the Carson, er, Leno show. "I did not know that." And Ed saying, "Here's v.c...."
Or content just being a guest.
Jay: "Tonite one of our guests is the world-renowned blogger, v.c. from Golden Pond."
continues...."How'd you get your big break, v.c.?"
me: "Well, Jay, Hoots....
Interrupts....
Jay: "Not the Hoots that took Rather's place. The ultra-left winger that heads the Eye and who resuscitated the network's image?"
me: "Yeah, Jay. That Hoots. Exactly. Eye blogged, pictru blogged, he, she, it blogged and when I ran across the only two liberals in Alabama, well, the rest is history....
Letterman: "After the top ten list and stupid pet tricks, v.c. of bloggerdom fame will be our first guest. Do you like v.c., Paul?" ( Paul Shaefer )
Paul: "V.C's the bomb, Dave. You may now disembark the nite train. Farewell and adieu."
Letterman: "You do read v.c., eh, Paul?"
Paul: "His stuff is mind-bloggling. ( band plays "Sweet Home Alabama" as they head into a commercial break )
Dave throws a pencil through an imaginary pane of glass....
Barbara: "You were a manager at Piccadilly. You dealt with passive-aggressive team members, p.a. regional managers, and p.a. guests. You married Kitty, your one tru-luv. You toiled nites, weekends, and holidays. Your mentor was Bronco Billy and you worked with Cajunballsauvin. And yet you found the time to concoct a blog." ( Golden Pond )
me: "Ms. Walters, thank you for choosing me to be your last interview. You had your pick of the litter. Paul Newman, J Lo, Ben Affleck, Michael Moore, or Hoots at CBS and yet you chose me...."
Ah, bloggerdom. Like picking up rice in a church where a wedding has been. What does it mean? All the liberal bloggers. Where do they all come from? All the liberal bloggers. Where do they all belong? Farewell and adieu, v.c.
P.S. You may now disemabrk the nite train, allah Paul Shaefer. All abored!
P.S.S. Dyslexia, eh?
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Synchronicity Revisited
I submit the following dissertation that v.c. once wrote on the FRG Board. It was written off-the-cuff one nite in response to a challenge by my m.i.a. friend, the enigmatic Ibbq4you2.
The FRG bored, er, board is still in existence, but no one goes there anymore. ( If a tree falls in the woods.... ) So in case the powers that be have plans to demolish the sight, we will save it here for posterity's sake. For your approval and perusal:
Once again, you have put the onus ( can you say that word to the bored ) directly on my, er, shoulders. Pictru's post was right on the mark, but here is my feeble attempt at a reply.
There are at least 8 million stories in the naked city of Piccadilly, and here are but a few that Pictru omitted. Submitted for your approval and perusal:
1) "Fool on the Till." Inexperienced cashier, with no background check, makes costly mistake after another, until a savvy manager, realizing his snafu, yanks the cashier, thus, averting a disastrous shortage.
2) "Wielding the Sutures." Supposedly inspired the song "Building the Future." Hungover chef accidentally cuts himself on the meat/band saw. All hell breaks loose as savvy 911 crew attempts to reattach appendages.
3) Jerry Lee Lewis makes a grand ( pun unintended ) entrance into one of the La. stores. When asked to wail out a song, he replies, "No pumpin' piano, no dice." At that moment the clothes dryer bursts into flames, and Jerry, unable to control himself, breaks into a thrilling rendition of "Great Balls of Fire." Honourable mention to L'il Richard's Tuitti Fruitti, also sung on the bayou.
4) "Please Don't Mess With the Knife-Guard." Grouchy mechanic is summoned to repair the roast beef knife guard. Interrupts his coffee, heavy on the caffeine, and smoke break. After a beautiful jury rig, mechanic immediately files a grievance to his district engineer, who upholds his young charge's complaint.
5) "Free From Frank." You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain. Too much Frank drives a man insane. Nuff said.
6) "Nights in White Satin." Private story between me and kitty. Back rub giver extraordinaire, as well as a helluva proof reader.
7) "We Didn't Start The Fire" Forgot that Billy Joel-desperate for a hit- was with Ferriday's own, Jerry Lee, that infamous day when the dryer ignited.
8) "These Boots Were Made For Walkin'" Yes, Nancy Sinatra in her go-go boots, made many a visit to the Piccadillys back in the day. And some, like freefromfrank, have adopted her song as a personal anthem.
9) "Happy Travails To You." Watching Roy, Dale, and Trigger munching on a pan of carrot souffle and apple, piccadilly was priceless.
10) "Tea for Two." Huey Long and me. Discussing politics and imbibing on two glasses of unsweet tea. Huey Long? They don't make 'em like they used to.
11) "You May Now Disembark The Nite Train." Bottoms up. Ready to crash and burn-I never learn. Farewell and adieu, v.c.
The FRG bored, er, board is still in existence, but no one goes there anymore. ( If a tree falls in the woods.... ) So in case the powers that be have plans to demolish the sight, we will save it here for posterity's sake. For your approval and perusal:
Once again, you have put the onus ( can you say that word to the bored ) directly on my, er, shoulders. Pictru's post was right on the mark, but here is my feeble attempt at a reply.
There are at least 8 million stories in the naked city of Piccadilly, and here are but a few that Pictru omitted. Submitted for your approval and perusal:
1) "Fool on the Till." Inexperienced cashier, with no background check, makes costly mistake after another, until a savvy manager, realizing his snafu, yanks the cashier, thus, averting a disastrous shortage.
2) "Wielding the Sutures." Supposedly inspired the song "Building the Future." Hungover chef accidentally cuts himself on the meat/band saw. All hell breaks loose as savvy 911 crew attempts to reattach appendages.
3) Jerry Lee Lewis makes a grand ( pun unintended ) entrance into one of the La. stores. When asked to wail out a song, he replies, "No pumpin' piano, no dice." At that moment the clothes dryer bursts into flames, and Jerry, unable to control himself, breaks into a thrilling rendition of "Great Balls of Fire." Honourable mention to L'il Richard's Tuitti Fruitti, also sung on the bayou.
4) "Please Don't Mess With the Knife-Guard." Grouchy mechanic is summoned to repair the roast beef knife guard. Interrupts his coffee, heavy on the caffeine, and smoke break. After a beautiful jury rig, mechanic immediately files a grievance to his district engineer, who upholds his young charge's complaint.
5) "Free From Frank." You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain. Too much Frank drives a man insane. Nuff said.
6) "Nights in White Satin." Private story between me and kitty. Back rub giver extraordinaire, as well as a helluva proof reader.
7) "We Didn't Start The Fire" Forgot that Billy Joel-desperate for a hit- was with Ferriday's own, Jerry Lee, that infamous day when the dryer ignited.
8) "These Boots Were Made For Walkin'" Yes, Nancy Sinatra in her go-go boots, made many a visit to the Piccadillys back in the day. And some, like freefromfrank, have adopted her song as a personal anthem.
9) "Happy Travails To You." Watching Roy, Dale, and Trigger munching on a pan of carrot souffle and apple, piccadilly was priceless.
10) "Tea for Two." Huey Long and me. Discussing politics and imbibing on two glasses of unsweet tea. Huey Long? They don't make 'em like they used to.
11) "You May Now Disembark The Nite Train." Bottoms up. Ready to crash and burn-I never learn. Farewell and adieu, v.c.
It's Just A Fantasy
I recently attended my high school reunion. And told Sharon about my new blog, courtesy of the hootster. She said she may peruse the sight so let's put our best foot forward. Submitted for your approval and perusal:
Me and the kids were tooling down the road heading for computer city.
"What kind of computer are we gonna buy, granddad?"
"Well, we want to get the latest model, kids. Something with a lot of jigga watts."
"How long til we get there, granddad?"
"Count to a million, l'il Charlie."
"Can you tell us a story, granddad? Something about the message bored or Piccadilly?"
"Sure, we've got a ways to go. Well, let's see. It was October of 2003 and it looked grim for all of us. Ronnie had embraced change and had given it up ( apollo g's to Arsenio Hall ) a few months prior and Azam had brought in a consultant to analyze the situation. And due to a shortfall in the pension plan, Jack Mac decided we had to sell the old girl."
"Sell Piccadilly? Were you sad, granddad?"
"Yeah I was sad and wondered what in the hell I was gonna do if we went belly-up. I had sent in my resume to Mad Magazine and had never heard from them. And I submitted a few of my posts to Random House and they sent back a cordial thank-you form letter with a big 'HUH?'as a p.s. And my situation comedy 'Everybody Loves Catfish' was rejected by Hollywood."
"Sounds like you were up ship creek without a paddle, granddad."
"Yeah, kids, it looked like it was time to turn out the lights, the party's over."
"What happened, next, granddad? Did you go work with Uncle Bbq? Unclogging drains?"
"Well, Uncle Bbq was gracious in offering me a job, but I think he did it because he felt sorry for me. But then when all seemed lost and we were at our lowest ebb, a Greek concern bought the Piccadilly. We filed Chapter 11, erasing all of our old debts, and the Greeks started pumping money back into the old girl."
"Greek, granddad? Kinda like Sandy Fajitas? ( imho ) Did you have to change the menu?"
"Yes, we changed the menu and started selling cheeseburgers. Away went the dilly and the signature meal. And rowdy kids nite and all the special promotional items that worked in the beginning. But the change in the menu was confusing to the guests."
"How so, granddad?"
"Well, we had been serving dilly's and signature meals for years with 2 sides and bread. And if you wanted a super you added a side, dessert, and drink. And the guests were used to it, even tho they liked to make up their own rules about how it should work. But let's pretend I'm the server and l'il Charlie, you be the guest. O.K.? Now you're in the serving line at the lead meats and place your order. Serve you?"
"I'd like fried chicken on a dilly, please!"
"Sorry. No fried chicken. Cheeseburger."
"Cheeseburger?"
"Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger. Serve you?"
"I'd like a roast beef signature meal!"
"No roast beef. Cheeseburger."
"I'll take a cheeseburger then. And carrot souffle."
"No carrot souffle. Chips!"
"I'll take chips and iced tea."
"No iced tea. Pepsi."
"That's all you sold, granddad?"
"Yes, kids, but it made your granddad's life a little easier. Cheeseburgers, chips, and pepsi. We even bought a few George Foreman grills for people that needed a low-fat diet. And when Mr. Onassis suspended rowdy kids nite, we were set to go. And sales skyrocketed. And soon we were trading again on the NY Stock Exchange."
"And what happened to hoots, granddad?"
"Hoots? Now that's a name from the past. Well, last thing I heard he was singing karaoke at Cat's Potpurri down in N'awlins. Heard he sings a mean "It's Just a Fantasy," Billy Joel's fav tune from back in the day. Hey, look. Computer City. We'll finish the story later. Now you rowdy kids behave."
"Jiggawatts. Yeah! Thanks for the story, granddad. When we get through shopping for a new computer, can we get something to eat?"
"Sure, we can get a cheeseburger at H.W. ( Hell Whole ) All laborde."
Me and the kids were tooling down the road heading for computer city.
"What kind of computer are we gonna buy, granddad?"
"Well, we want to get the latest model, kids. Something with a lot of jigga watts."
"How long til we get there, granddad?"
"Count to a million, l'il Charlie."
"Can you tell us a story, granddad? Something about the message bored or Piccadilly?"
"Sure, we've got a ways to go. Well, let's see. It was October of 2003 and it looked grim for all of us. Ronnie had embraced change and had given it up ( apollo g's to Arsenio Hall ) a few months prior and Azam had brought in a consultant to analyze the situation. And due to a shortfall in the pension plan, Jack Mac decided we had to sell the old girl."
"Sell Piccadilly? Were you sad, granddad?"
"Yeah I was sad and wondered what in the hell I was gonna do if we went belly-up. I had sent in my resume to Mad Magazine and had never heard from them. And I submitted a few of my posts to Random House and they sent back a cordial thank-you form letter with a big 'HUH?'as a p.s. And my situation comedy 'Everybody Loves Catfish' was rejected by Hollywood."
"Sounds like you were up ship creek without a paddle, granddad."
"Yeah, kids, it looked like it was time to turn out the lights, the party's over."
"What happened, next, granddad? Did you go work with Uncle Bbq? Unclogging drains?"
"Well, Uncle Bbq was gracious in offering me a job, but I think he did it because he felt sorry for me. But then when all seemed lost and we were at our lowest ebb, a Greek concern bought the Piccadilly. We filed Chapter 11, erasing all of our old debts, and the Greeks started pumping money back into the old girl."
"Greek, granddad? Kinda like Sandy Fajitas? ( imho ) Did you have to change the menu?"
"Yes, we changed the menu and started selling cheeseburgers. Away went the dilly and the signature meal. And rowdy kids nite and all the special promotional items that worked in the beginning. But the change in the menu was confusing to the guests."
"How so, granddad?"
"Well, we had been serving dilly's and signature meals for years with 2 sides and bread. And if you wanted a super you added a side, dessert, and drink. And the guests were used to it, even tho they liked to make up their own rules about how it should work. But let's pretend I'm the server and l'il Charlie, you be the guest. O.K.? Now you're in the serving line at the lead meats and place your order. Serve you?"
"I'd like fried chicken on a dilly, please!"
"Sorry. No fried chicken. Cheeseburger."
"Cheeseburger?"
"Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger. Serve you?"
"I'd like a roast beef signature meal!"
"No roast beef. Cheeseburger."
"I'll take a cheeseburger then. And carrot souffle."
"No carrot souffle. Chips!"
"I'll take chips and iced tea."
"No iced tea. Pepsi."
"That's all you sold, granddad?"
"Yes, kids, but it made your granddad's life a little easier. Cheeseburgers, chips, and pepsi. We even bought a few George Foreman grills for people that needed a low-fat diet. And when Mr. Onassis suspended rowdy kids nite, we were set to go. And sales skyrocketed. And soon we were trading again on the NY Stock Exchange."
"And what happened to hoots, granddad?"
"Hoots? Now that's a name from the past. Well, last thing I heard he was singing karaoke at Cat's Potpurri down in N'awlins. Heard he sings a mean "It's Just a Fantasy," Billy Joel's fav tune from back in the day. Hey, look. Computer City. We'll finish the story later. Now you rowdy kids behave."
"Jiggawatts. Yeah! Thanks for the story, granddad. When we get through shopping for a new computer, can we get something to eat?"
"Sure, we can get a cheeseburger at H.W. ( Hell Whole ) All laborde."
Friday, September 17, 2004
Big-Ass Storm-Response to clifhenry
Thank goodness the pond remained somewhat unscathed. A small section of thehouse blew off but outside of that-too blessed to be stressed. Hope the four readers of the PIC yahoo escaped damage as well. Evidently, the hurricane is heading towards Sacramento. Now that's a big-ass storm. Clif, hope you remembered to baton, er, batten down the hatches. Meanwhile....
One of our beloved posters has become quite the political pundit. I look forward to perusing hootsbuddy's place each and every day.With his tenacious ambition, the hoots mantel is destined for a blogger pulitzer. Good luck, hootster.
Pictru constructed his blog and wrote an interesting post and quickly disappeared from the landscape. What happened?And bbq remains an enigma. As well as Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.
I've been watching the vast wasteland a bit more this week. Cos N'awlins is below sea leveland we haven't been hit since Ol' Betsy <> created havoc in 1965.And Molly Ivins, left-wing political pundit <> has declared the hurricanes a result of global warming. Molly hails from Texas and is one of the-if not the- smartest human being on the planet. She has the answers to every ill plaguing society. Great job, Molly. But you missed your calling!
And while watching t.v., I've found there are many ills plaguing <> the average Joe Q. Public.
1) If one owes one's credit card company $8,000 it will take 47 years to pay-off the debt. <> Ouch!
2) The female gender may be susceptible to feminine itch and odor. We men have suffered from the heartbreak of jock-itch for years. So we feel you. Ouch!
3) If one's hair is thinning or if one resembles Mr. Clean, Yul Brynner, <> or Kojak, one only needs to purchase a hair transplant in order for one's business prospects and self-esteem to improve dramatically. Ouch!
4) Can't recall the name of the pill but it's the competition for Viagra. Male enhancement technology but consult one's doctor if one's erection lasts for more than 4 hours. Ouch!Shirley there's more to recall but the old brain cells won't oblige.Hopefully, you guys and gals? weathered the storm. <>
Farewell and adieu, v.c.
P.S. Who used to end each submission with: You may now disembark the nite train. All laborde!
P.S.S. How could one have forgotten the ads for acid reflux?
One of our beloved posters has become quite the political pundit. I look forward to perusing hootsbuddy's place each and every day.With his tenacious ambition, the hoots mantel is destined for a blogger pulitzer. Good luck, hootster.
Pictru constructed his blog and wrote an interesting post and quickly disappeared from the landscape. What happened?And bbq remains an enigma. As well as Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.
I've been watching the vast wasteland a bit more this week. Cos N'awlins is below sea leveland we haven't been hit since Ol' Betsy <> created havoc in 1965.And Molly Ivins, left-wing political pundit <> has declared the hurricanes a result of global warming. Molly hails from Texas and is one of the-if not the- smartest human being on the planet. She has the answers to every ill plaguing society. Great job, Molly. But you missed your calling!
And while watching t.v., I've found there are many ills plaguing <> the average Joe Q. Public.
1) If one owes one's credit card company $8,000 it will take 47 years to pay-off the debt. <> Ouch!
2) The female gender may be susceptible to feminine itch and odor. We men have suffered from the heartbreak of jock-itch for years. So we feel you. Ouch!
3) If one's hair is thinning or if one resembles Mr. Clean, Yul Brynner, <> or Kojak, one only needs to purchase a hair transplant in order for one's business prospects and self-esteem to improve dramatically. Ouch!
4) Can't recall the name of the pill but it's the competition for Viagra. Male enhancement technology but consult one's doctor if one's erection lasts for more than 4 hours. Ouch!Shirley there's more to recall but the old brain cells won't oblige.Hopefully, you guys and gals? weathered the storm. <>
Farewell and adieu, v.c.
P.S. Who used to end each submission with: You may now disembark the nite train. All laborde!
P.S.S. How could one have forgotten the ads for acid reflux?
Saturday, September 11, 2004
Fab 4
Hey, I don't have to work tomorrow so here we go. This will be blog number 2 and tonite's story is about my favorite band. No, it's not the Stones. Nor Van Halen. No, it's definitely not the Fudge, Vanilla, that is. Hint: the band members hail from Liverpool and are affectionately known as the Fab 4.
Why the Beatles, you may ask. Didn't they break-up in 1969, er, 1970? That was 34 years ago Are you a dinosaur or what?
Yes, guilty as charged. But why do I continue to listen? Why the intrigue? I shall try to explain. Let's begin with a few of me favourite songs. In no particular order. Some of the songs may not be familiar to the casual listener/fan.
1) In My Life: Beautiful song by John Lennon. Harmonium solo.
2) Happiness Is A Warm Gun: Bang Bang Shoot Shoot. The intro:
She's not a girl who misses much
Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Oh yeah
She's well acquainted with the touch of a velvet hand
Like a lizard on a windowpane
A man in the crowd with the multi-coloured mirrors
On his hobnail boots.
Lying with his eyes while his hands are busy working overtime.
A soap impression of his wife which he ate
And donated to the national trust.
Lyrical. Creative. Metaphors. In the top five.
3) Golden Slumbers/You Never Give Me Your Money: An ode to the lawyers, business managers, etc. who were valiantly attempting to split the bountiful pie w/o success. From "Abbey Road."
And in the middle of negotiations, I break down.
4) When I'm 64: Loved it as a kid. Love it today. Great lyrics. Clarinet throughout the song. Unheard of on a pop song at the time. ( if one doesn't include the likes of Fabian, Frankie Avalon, etc. )
Grandchildren on your knee
Vera, Chuck, and Dave
5) Eleanor Rigby: Haunting. Strings. Once again, unheard of on a pop song. Recall a reviewer using the word "enigmatic" when describing the song. "Ah, look at all the lonely people."
6) While My Guitar Gently Weeps: A George foray. Harmony with Paul. Priceless.
7) From Me to You: One of their earlier songs. Bright, energetic. In retrospect, you can see the appeal. Basic "I love you, don't be blue" lyrics, but the freshness and genuineness is evident throughout.
8) It Won't Be Long: One reviewer likened it to a cacophony of chanting tibetan monks . Yeah! From "Meet The Beatles."
9) Julia: Beautiful song by John. Written to his mom, Julia.
Ocean child ( Yoko Ono )calls me
So I sing a song of love, Julia.
10) Here, There, And Everywhere: From "Revolver" which was voted the number one album of all time, courtesy of VH-1. Apollo g's to everyone else. Sorry!
11) Norweigan Wood: First use of the sitar. ( idea sponged from Ravi Shankar ) In a pop recording.
She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh
I told her I didn't and crawled onto sleep in the bath.
12) Strawberry Fields Forever: I love all of the versions, but the simple, unadulterated version from the Anthology tapes, is fantastic. Cranberry sauce.
13) Taxman: Rocker by George. Begins the "Revolver" lp ( seems Elton John, among others, left his beloved England due to an 85% tax on his earnings. Ouch! )
14) The Word: The word is love. Bright, clean, up-tempo song from "Rubber Soul." Influence of Dylan evident.
15) A Day In The Life: First time I saw the cover ( Madame Tussauds, eh? ) was in N'awlins. Me and my family had gone to Jamaica. Couldn't wait to arrive home to get a listen. I knew the song was different and that the boys were heading in a new direction. 30 second piano bit at the end.
16) I Am The Walrus: My all time favourite: Recorded in "fake" stereo, I often turn the balance to either side for a unique listening approach. The words and music-unmatched imho. The Anthology version is excellent.
http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/5109/walrus.html
17) And Your Bird Can Sing: Another fresh, vivacious entry from the boys. The song is from the infamous Butchershop photo for "Yesterday and Today." The version on the Anthology is awesome.
18) Help: From "Help," the movie. Nuff said. Plus, I like to play it in times of trouble. Misery loves company, eh?
19) Cry Baby Cry: From the "White Album" Melodic. As if you're a member of a seance. Strong British references. No American would compose lyrics such as these:
The Dutchess of Kicaldy always smiling and arriving late for tea
The duke was having problems with a message at the local Bird and Bee.
20) Hey Jude: One of me all time favourites. But because of its overexposure on the radio, it will never be as fresh as it was in 1968, the height of flower power. Plus, it would be sacrilege not to include the 7 minute song. The Beatles at the zenith of their popularity.
There are many songs that weren't included. And these songs were formulated off the cuff, so I'm sure there are some classics I forgot.
Damn, this was a fun foray. And the blog counts the words. Wonder how many?
Until next time, Farewell and adieu, v.c. your irreverent host and music critic for a day!
Why the Beatles, you may ask. Didn't they break-up in 1969, er, 1970? That was 34 years ago Are you a dinosaur or what?
Yes, guilty as charged. But why do I continue to listen? Why the intrigue? I shall try to explain. Let's begin with a few of me favourite songs. In no particular order. Some of the songs may not be familiar to the casual listener/fan.
1) In My Life: Beautiful song by John Lennon. Harmonium solo.
2) Happiness Is A Warm Gun: Bang Bang Shoot Shoot. The intro:
She's not a girl who misses much
Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Oh yeah
She's well acquainted with the touch of a velvet hand
Like a lizard on a windowpane
A man in the crowd with the multi-coloured mirrors
On his hobnail boots.
Lying with his eyes while his hands are busy working overtime.
A soap impression of his wife which he ate
And donated to the national trust.
Lyrical. Creative. Metaphors. In the top five.
3) Golden Slumbers/You Never Give Me Your Money: An ode to the lawyers, business managers, etc. who were valiantly attempting to split the bountiful pie w/o success. From "Abbey Road."
And in the middle of negotiations, I break down.
4) When I'm 64: Loved it as a kid. Love it today. Great lyrics. Clarinet throughout the song. Unheard of on a pop song at the time. ( if one doesn't include the likes of Fabian, Frankie Avalon, etc. )
Grandchildren on your knee
Vera, Chuck, and Dave
5) Eleanor Rigby: Haunting. Strings. Once again, unheard of on a pop song. Recall a reviewer using the word "enigmatic" when describing the song. "Ah, look at all the lonely people."
6) While My Guitar Gently Weeps: A George foray. Harmony with Paul. Priceless.
7) From Me to You: One of their earlier songs. Bright, energetic. In retrospect, you can see the appeal. Basic "I love you, don't be blue" lyrics, but the freshness and genuineness is evident throughout.
8) It Won't Be Long: One reviewer likened it to a cacophony of chanting tibetan monks . Yeah! From "Meet The Beatles."
9) Julia: Beautiful song by John. Written to his mom, Julia.
Ocean child ( Yoko Ono )calls me
So I sing a song of love, Julia.
10) Here, There, And Everywhere: From "Revolver" which was voted the number one album of all time, courtesy of VH-1. Apollo g's to everyone else. Sorry!
11) Norweigan Wood: First use of the sitar. ( idea sponged from Ravi Shankar ) In a pop recording.
She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh
I told her I didn't and crawled onto sleep in the bath.
12) Strawberry Fields Forever: I love all of the versions, but the simple, unadulterated version from the Anthology tapes, is fantastic. Cranberry sauce.
13) Taxman: Rocker by George. Begins the "Revolver" lp ( seems Elton John, among others, left his beloved England due to an 85% tax on his earnings. Ouch! )
14) The Word: The word is love. Bright, clean, up-tempo song from "Rubber Soul." Influence of Dylan evident.
15) A Day In The Life: First time I saw the cover ( Madame Tussauds, eh? ) was in N'awlins. Me and my family had gone to Jamaica. Couldn't wait to arrive home to get a listen. I knew the song was different and that the boys were heading in a new direction. 30 second piano bit at the end.
16) I Am The Walrus: My all time favourite: Recorded in "fake" stereo, I often turn the balance to either side for a unique listening approach. The words and music-unmatched imho. The Anthology version is excellent.
http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/5109/walrus.html
17) And Your Bird Can Sing: Another fresh, vivacious entry from the boys. The song is from the infamous Butchershop photo for "Yesterday and Today." The version on the Anthology is awesome.
18) Help: From "Help," the movie. Nuff said. Plus, I like to play it in times of trouble. Misery loves company, eh?
19) Cry Baby Cry: From the "White Album" Melodic. As if you're a member of a seance. Strong British references. No American would compose lyrics such as these:
The Dutchess of Kicaldy always smiling and arriving late for tea
The duke was having problems with a message at the local Bird and Bee.
20) Hey Jude: One of me all time favourites. But because of its overexposure on the radio, it will never be as fresh as it was in 1968, the height of flower power. Plus, it would be sacrilege not to include the 7 minute song. The Beatles at the zenith of their popularity.
There are many songs that weren't included. And these songs were formulated off the cuff, so I'm sure there are some classics I forgot.
Damn, this was a fun foray. And the blog counts the words. Wonder how many?
Until next time, Farewell and adieu, v.c. your irreverent host and music critic for a day!
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Farewell and Adieu
My first post on the PIC Yahoo was entitled "Farewell and Adieu." Through the years it has become my tag line and my new blog, golden pond, will be christened as well.
When v.c. first began perusing the PIC message board, it was luv at first sight, i.e., the interchanges and all the diatribes. I met an ex district engineer, who goes by the name of ibbq4u2 and who has become my friend. We wrote an array of infantile posts last Christmas, lampooning the various members of our fraternity, and we have become a sort of tag-team, allah Stone Cold and Andre the Giant. And who will ever forget the enigmatic Haystack Calhoun and Freddie Blassie.
The new blog will allow me to write something other than PIC related. I can tell you my goals, for example. They haven't changed much through the years. I am still committed to world peace . <>; the end to poverty; the abolition of man's inhumanity to man; a cure for all diseases; etc.
Yes, my goals are modest. But attainable through hard work and sacrifice. One day we'll teach the world to sing in perfect harmony, allah Coke and all the other major corporations, steeped in capitalism.
Well, welcome to golden pond. Farewell and adieu, v.c. your irreverent host
When v.c. first began perusing the PIC message board, it was luv at first sight, i.e., the interchanges and all the diatribes. I met an ex district engineer, who goes by the name of ibbq4u2 and who has become my friend. We wrote an array of infantile posts last Christmas, lampooning the various members of our fraternity, and we have become a sort of tag-team, allah Stone Cold and Andre the Giant. And who will ever forget the enigmatic Haystack Calhoun and Freddie Blassie.
The new blog will allow me to write something other than PIC related. I can tell you my goals, for example. They haven't changed much through the years. I am still committed to world peace . <>; the end to poverty; the abolition of man's inhumanity to man; a cure for all diseases; etc.
Yes, my goals are modest. But attainable through hard work and sacrifice. One day we'll teach the world to sing in perfect harmony, allah Coke and all the other major corporations, steeped in capitalism.
Well, welcome to golden pond. Farewell and adieu, v.c. your irreverent host
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