GOLDEN POND

Chapter 3: Dr. Bernard Christian Dr. Bernard Christian is having a drink at a local bar, his favorite hangout. He is tired. His cell phone rings: It's General Hospital! "Hello, Dr. Christian here." He was always formal when answering. He had the distinction of being regarded as the best surgeon in the world. He was always being called for advice. Or to assist in the operating room! How he ended up in Chattanooga though was a mystery? "Doctor Christian, this is Dr. Zorba. I'm working with Dr. Casey- we need your help- stat!" He takes a long sip of his "sex in the beach," his inventive concoction that had ignited the industry. He tired of the popular "sex on the beach"-once his favorite potent potable. "Sex in the Beach" became an overnight sensation. A favorite at waterholes east of the Mississippi. Soon thereafter , the whole Continental USA including Guam, Puerto Rico, Alaska, Hawaii, etc Of course, he was royally paid. In a 12 oz. can it was! And like Coke, It's ingredients were top-secret! A self-made man he was, and everything he touched turned to gold! "Yes, Zorba. How can I be of service?" He never called another doctor, doctor. He believed the others were beneath him! He had it all just like Bogie and Bacall! He was the go-to-man when the Huffington Post came calling. He appeared frequently on CNN and took over for Sanja Gupta when he was on vacation. He hobnobbed with the likes of Don Lemon and Wolf Blitzer! He was in his own words, an effete snob and he relished it! Once he slipped when addressing Dr. Edward Murphy, a renowned surgeon in his own right. whose office was in Beverly Hills. "Dr. Muphy, I presume!" It was at a red carpet affair in Cannes. Christian never forgave himself and promised it would never happen again. Murphy had grown up in the projects in Detroit. At sixteen, he became a swing manager for McDonald's. With the money he earned, he bought 10,000 shares in the fledgling company circa the 1950's and became a multi-millionaire! At seventeen, he wrote the Janis Ian classic "At Seventeen," a teenaged angst song! At eighteen, he toured with Alice Cooper. At nineteen, he won a Pulitzer Prize for "Yes, Journalism is Yellow and other assorted colors!" As a 20 year old, he joined the police force by day- his way of giving back to the community-and went to college and med school by night. After graduating magna cum laude at Oxford, he became a doctor for the rich and famous! He made the cover of Time, Newsweek, and GQ numerous times! Even Playgirl wanted him but he declined. He was well-respected but more importantly, a helluva surgeon! Dr. Zorba: Dr. Bernard, we have a critical situation at General Hospital! The patient has been here since the edge of night! He is a diver at the Chattanooga Aquarium. Two medusozoas attacked and attached themselves to his divers mask and head and neck regions. He's in ICU! His condition is critical I repeat critical! We need you here stat! Dr. Christian took another long sip of his drink. He wondered why Zorba had his panties in a wad. Or in a shivvy! There was always a crisis at any hospital He had recently learned shivvy from viewing Sherry Covington's posts on Facebook. A creature he had never met, but by happenstance stumbled upon her page! He also enjoyed the many memes! "I'll be there as soon as I can, Zorba!" He despised the word "stat!" Nurse Betty had a habit of saying it frequently! "Thank you Doctor Christian," said Zorba. He wanted to say thank you, your highness, you arrogant ass, but the patient ( Bill ) had two medusozoas attached to his head! He needed the bastard here stat! Dr. Christian takes another sip. "Ahhhh!" From his jacket pocket, he removes a small mirror and an even smaller pair of scissors. He is quite particular about his nose hairs- if I'm going to save someone's life tonight I must look my best- is how he approached it! He scans his nose with the mirror. A clip here a snip there and he's good to go. He wasn't young anymore, but he was still restless. However, he still considered himself one of the bold and beautiful! He hails a taxi. "General Hospital, cabbie!" Bill is awake-It's time for another dose of morphine. He wants to scratch his nose but realizes he's in restraints.He is hungry! What he wouldn't give for a plate of shrimp etouffe and a shipload of deviled crab! Nurse Betty enters with a long needle. Bill feels better almost immediately. "Oh, you poor man!" Betty moans, holding back tears. Suddenly, the door to the ICU bursts open! A tall, strapping fellow dressed in a whiter-than-white hospital smock gains entrance-a grand entrance! His nose hairs are immaculate and unseen! It's Dr. Bernard Christian in all of his glory! He has a presence and charisma oozing from his DNA. He passes Nurse Betty and looks directly at Bill, his new patient. "Oh, my God!" End of Chapter 3