"Cancelled"

If Golden Pond were a television show, it would have been cancelled a long time ago.

"What are G.P.'s ratings, J.B.?"

"Nielson says the Pond is on life support, B.R."

"We had high hopes for the concept but seems the public has never caught on to the repartee, eh?"

"Get me J.G. down in the creative department. Tell him we need a new reality show to replace the catfish!"

"Who's gonna tell the Cat he is kaput, fini.'"

"Not me. he's a passive-aggressive sort. Kitty, his wife, says he's a time bomb just waiting to explode."

"If you don't have the balls, J.B., I'll do it. I'll call him on his cell phone and deliver the bad news."

"Yeah, that's the ticket, J.B. No wonder you're in charge of the network, allah William Paley from back inna day."

"You know I'm a'gonna miss those youtube episodes from the cat."

"Seems he told me 'all the young dudes' from Mott the Hoople was next on the agenda."

"Zowie! J.B." ****

"Well, it's his own fault. He got away from writing those, er, brilliant stories that were the cat's meow."

"Righto. Old bean. He forgot what got him here in the first place. Those scintillating forays into the infantile."

"Yes, he began posting pictures allah Eastman Kodak. And with little commentary. Nobody seemed to care about the Fab 4, the one-eyed cyclops from Sinbad, the dames from Bogie's era, the Hell's Angels causing a melee at Altamount, or the death of Popeye via spinach."

"Wasn't that the one 'Slippery' allegedly sent to him?"

"'Slippery' was a figment of the cat's imagination. There is no real 'Slippery.' The fish invented him along with ibbq4you2 and hootsbuddy."

"Now wait a minute, J.G. I know for a fact that there is a real 'hoots.'"

"Yes, I read his column religiously. I like to keep in tune with the democratic ideals, because we all know the solutions to all of our problems is through dialogue."

"Sure there's a 'hoots.' But it's really the fish portraying himself as a liberal dem."

"Cat's really a Republican, isn't he?"

"He always said he was a, well, uh, er, an independent."

"Right you are. When the boy was dazzling us with his prose, he did mention the affiliation."

"Perhaps we can entice his liberal sister, Olga, to take his place."

"By jove, you've done it. Get in touch with her toute' suite."

"Au revoir, v.c. You're fired."

P.S. All the young dudes? Eh?

P.S.S. **** [ obscure reference-David Bowie, the creator of aforementioned song, named his son, Zowie, and changed the pronunciation of Bowie so's it would rhyme ]