"House on Haunted Hill"

I forgot about this one. John Skerry, er, Kerry lost the election. He of the "Purple Hearts" recipient fame via Nam. As petrol hedges up to $4 per gallon, the end of George Bush's regime is coming to a close. Where would we be today if Al Gore had won in 2000? Or Scairy in 2004? As me mom has always philosophized: "it wasn't meant to be." And we will never know.

Here's a repeat from yesteryear. Via Golden Pond and yers truly. Sunday, October 31, 2004

House on Haunted Hill

My sister, Ali, is out stumping the vote in dreary, cold San Francisco, while I am sitting on my big arse watching the tube. There's all kind of good offerings tonite. It's Halloween! There's Scream, Scream 2, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Scary Movie, and the one I'm watching, "House on Haunted Hill."

House stars the delightful Vincent Price who hailed from St. Louis. And it has a star-studded cast? There's Richard Long, late of the Big Valley. And whatever happened to Barbara Stanwyck, eh? The plot centers on a group of folks who must stay the nite in the house for a cool $50,000. They have just met their benefactor [ Mr. Price ] and he is showing them a vat filled with acid.

The flick, shot in black and white, was directed by William Castle, sort of the Wes Craven of the 60's. Another of his forays, "Homicidal," scared the bejeezus out of me as a kid. And another, "The Night Walker," where Barbara Stanwyck ( now that name sounds familiar ) was terrorized by her husband into believing she was sleep walking. Robert Taylor, who played the hubby, wanted to drive his wife crazy or something like that.

And then there's the "7th Voyage of Sinbad," one of me all time favourites and listed on my profiles chart. You can always tell the more smug, er, serious bloggers who fail to fill out their favorite movies, books, hobbies, etc. Unless the book is on the order of "Combining Brain Surgery and Nuclear Physics" by Albert Van Doren or "The Medium IS the Message" by Alexander Putninsky-Van Clydesdale. Books the ordinary layman has never heard of.

"From the land beyond beyond.
From the land past hope and fear.
I bid you, genie, now appear."

To engage the genie, the holder of the magic lamp had to say the three phrases to summon him. Of course, the genie could only use his powers for good. The movie's special effects were created by Ray Harryhausen. Included were one-eyed cyclops, a fire-breathing dragon, giant birds, and skeleton warriors. Ray also did the sp. effects for "20 Million Miles To Earth" and "Clash of the Titans," which starred Harry Hamlin, late of L.A. Law.

Other movies frightened me as a kid. The Leech Woman, The Alligator People, and one of the scariest: "Strait Jacket" with Joan Crawford ( before she became the CEO of Pepsi ( please see "Mommie Dearest" )) and Diane Baker. On Joan's return home from a stay in the looney bin, the townsfolk in her sleepy hamlet begin losing their heads, allah her character who beheads her cheating husband at the first of the film.

Well, the House on Haunted Hill just concluded. Vincent Price got his come-uppance. And his scheming wife....ditto. They were in cahoots. ( pun unintended ) Next is "The Haunting." Damn, that also scared the bejeezus out of me back in the day. Not the computer-animated remake of a few years ago. The latter [ computer-animated ] hold no candle to the classics from yesteryear. The new ones: sKerry, smerry. Which brings us back to Ali, my ultra left-wing sister.

She is waiting with baited breath as to the outcome of Tuesday's election. I feel for her safety if her man doesn't win. Myself? I'll be content to watch another macabre journey to the center of the mind, the mind, the mind.... ( apologies to the Amboy Dukes featuring Ted Nugent )

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. Because the Packers beat the Redskins ( not Morisson's potatoes ) we'll have 6 more weeks of winter, er, legal ramifications out the kazoo. And disenfranchised voters, and.....


Posted by vietnamcatfish at 8:46 PM 2 comments Links to this post

"Farewell and Adieu"

There were a couple of times this week when I considered concluding "Golden Pond," my blog of almost 4 years. I just didn't have it in me anymore. Too much of a hassle. Yadi yadi yadi.

But then I resurrected an old post from yesteryear, "Sloganless." Of course, I read it. And thought it was "somewhat" clever. Even tho' written many moons ago. And when I added the Jackson Browne song, "Somebody's Dilly," er, "Baby" to the end of the foray, it gave me the jolt I needed to keep a'pressin' on.

Not sure why but I dig the song, which was featured on the "Fast Times at Rowdy, er, Ridgemont High" soundtrack. And which starred a young Sean Penn, Judge Reinhold, the gorgeous Phoebe Cates, Nicolas Cage ( small part ), et al. A cult classic.

So I was reenergized. And even the Hootster, my friend of many moons, deigned to leave a comment.

So-for now-Golden Pond will continue. Plus, I use it as a chronicle of my excursions. Or as we used to say in the 60's, to see where "my head is ( was ) at."

Heavy, v.c.

"Buttermilk....Anyone?"

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Publish or Perish Revisited
The Pond has been in hiatus for the last two days. There always seems to be a positive in a negative, so with that in mind, here's tonite's foray.

1) Before proceeding, I must correct the Hootster concerning the making of buttermilk from scratch. Sorry! Maybe it's old-timers rearing its ugly head, again. But my friend, cajun balls au vin, correctly recalled that 8 gallons of water and 8 lbs. of powdered milk is required. And one quart of store-bought buttermilk. Not the 5 & 5 erroneously reported by you know who.

From yours truly: One key to its success lies in the water temperature.....70-72 degrees are the magic numbers. And a spanking-clean container, as well.

Back in the day the brass firmly disallowed its use in fried chicken. But imho, the b.m. could have been used as a batter, provided the above procedures were followed. The brass had little or no faith in the b.m. makers. And rightfully so.

But in 2004, it's really quite irrelevent. However, if one's interst is piqued, I suggest the following disclaimer: Caution: "Don't try this at home." [ unless your plans include inviting Betty Crocker over for brunch or on feeding a battalion or brigade. ]

2) Each Christmas, "It's A Wonderful Life," the movie, returns to television. There are different versions. The restored original black and white; the grainy one with all the snow and blips; and the colorized one.
Even though I've watched it through the years, I got more out of it last year. Getting older, perhaps? And relating to the central theme: how one's life makes an impact in the grand scheme of things, and how different things would be if not for one's existence.

3) There is no three. Sleepy....so sleepy.

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. The "Family Man" with Nicolas Cage is another great Christmas movie foray!

Posted by vietnamcatfish at 10:20 PM 3 comments Links to this post


Epilogue: It was an easy recipe. But the crew ALWAYS screwed it up. Either the milk separated or it came out-literally-in sheets.

"Sloganless Re-Revisited"

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Sloganless Revisited

Back in my incubating period as a fledgling writer on the Yahoo, I submitted these ideas to the brass for their approval and perusal. They were jingles for my company. Slogans, if you will.

They never saw the light of day. Evidently, the brass decided to go outside the company and hired a "Marketing Director." His ideas didn't pan out, and they hired another "M.D." and another ad agency. Still mired in the proverbial quagmire, what might have occurred had the savvy ad types enlisted my aid.

Perhaps my company would still be listed on the N.Y. Stock Exchange. Maybe we would not have endured the heartbreak of bankruptcy and ye old musical chairs syndrome, evident today. And perhaps the Hootster would still be calling the shots at his old venue, H.W. [ Heaven Whole ] Who knows? But it wasn't meant to be. Que sera sera.

Maybe a savvy ad type will peruse the following and decide to use one of them in his/her next ad campaign. The following exercise in futility was written in late 2001. And here it is:


New theme songs and slogans for Piccadilly; Submitted for your approval.

1) Hey Dude.
Don't make it bad.
Take a sack home and you'll feel better.

( sung to the Beatles "Hey Jude" )

2) To All The Dillys.
Weve served before.
We're glad you came along.
We dedicate this song.
To all the dillys we've served before.

( sung to "All The Girls" by Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias )

3) Dilly Love Songs.

You'd think that people would have had enough of dilly love songs.
I look around me and I see it isn't so.
Some people want to fill the world with dilly love songs.
And what's wrong with that?
I'd like to know.
Cos here we go.
Again.

( sung to Wings' "Silly Love Songs" )

4)SuperDilly Dreamin'.

I'd be safe and warm.
If I was in La. [ Louisiana ]
Superdilly dreamin'.
On such a winter's day.

( sung to the Mamas and Papas "California Dreamin'" )

5) I Get A Pound.

I'm getting bugged driving up and down the same old strip.
I gotta find a new place where the food is hip.
I get a pound.
Plenty of times.
When they cut my corned beef.
Or when they cut my roast beef.
I get a pound.

( sung to the Beachboys' "I Get Around" )

6) Love PIC Madly.

Don't you want a dilly?
Might see Milli Vanilli.
Don't you love PIC as you're walking out the door.
Like you've done one hundred times before.

( sung to "Love Her Madly" by the Doors )

7) Oh, Lord.
Won't you buy me a signature meal?
My friends all buy dillys.
I must make amends.

( sung to "Mercedes Benz" by Janis Joplin )

8) Looking For Food.
In all the wrong places.
Looking for food in all the wrong faces.
Looking for food.

( sung to "Looking For Love"by Johnny Lee from the "Urban Cowboy" soundtrack )

9) Somebody's Dilly.

It must be somebody's dilly.
It's got to be somebody's dilly.
It's so fine.

I try to shut my eyes.
But I can't get it outta my sight.
It's gotta be somebody's dilly.

( sung to Jackson Browne's "Somebody's Baby" )

10) Imagine.

Imagine there's no combos.
I wonder if you can.
No best value.
A brotherhood of pans.

Imagine all the rowdy customers.
Living life in peace.
You may say I'm a dreamer.
But I'm not the only one.
I hope someday we'll serve you.
And the dilly will be as one.

( sung to "Imagine" by John Lennon )


Well that be it. No signature farewell and adieu at the time. And approval but no perusal. Evolution, eh?

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. Due to the late hour, no postscripts tonite.

Posted by vietnamcatfish at 10:08 PM 1 comments Links to this post

"Global Warming"

Thursday, June 15, 2006

"So You Like To Write? Eh????????"

You think it's easy writing these forays into the infantile? Well, let me assure you-it ain't. You have to be inspired plus you have to think of something clever to say! I ain't the most clever person in the world, in fact my elevator don't stop on every floor, so you can see why it's a tough gig.

There are plenty of subjects that are out there, just prime for the pickings. The war in Iraq is one. I just read where John Kerry recently stated that he had made a mistake in endorsing the middle east slugfest a few years back. Well ain't that big of him? What a total jerk-off! Where would we have been with that numb nut as the president?

And then Al Gore is parading his goofy ass around extolling the possibilities of global warming, and how the last days of Earth-as we know it-are just about kaput, fini.' Segue! I'm wondering if Gillette can bring back those aerosol deodorant sprays? The smell from those cannisters was akin to Nirvana. Ah, memories!

And for the sports fans out there-if any-Shaq and Dirk are heating things up in the NBA Finals. Everyone knows Shaq, but how many know of the 7 footer from Germany.

"Yah, I'm glad to be playing basketball in the United States. And I'd like to thank Mr. Al Gore for inventing the internet, and kudos to Mr Skerry who earned????? many purple hearts for bravery in the wilds of Vietnam. Yah!"

And then there's the Atlanta Braves who are experiencing one of their worst slides ( pun intended??? ) since 1990. After 15 years of winning their division, which is unprecedented in modern professional sports-it appears the bloom is off the rose.

Not sure how Brittney Spears is making out ( pun unintended ) nor do I know the perils that Jennifer Anniston may be enduring in this continuum of time and space, nor do I know if Siegfried-or was it Leroy, er, Roy-has made a full recovery from his vicious tiger attack, so we can't "go there." ( urban slang )

So this is what a writer, like myself?????, goes through when attempting to write-in my case-forays into the infantile. It ain't all it's cracked up ( another pun??????? ) to be. Back to the egg, eh?

You have just read another imbecilic foray by none other than v.c. Patent pending????

Posted by vietnamcatfish at 11:49 PM 0 comments Links to this post



Sunday, January 29, 2006

"Link to 'I Was a Teenage.....'"

I saw this movie as a youngster. Top ten grossing film of '57. What was my mother thinking?

P.S. Starred Michael Landon in the title role. He of "Bonanza"; "Little House on the Prarie"; "Stairway, er, Highway to Heaven" fame.

"Cole Slaw Revisited"

Monday, December 26, 2005
"Cole Slaw"
Another foray from back in the day. Cholesterol, smesterol. Our story tonite was written before anyone knew about cholesterol. Now a 4 letter word. Submitted for....

Everyone loves cole slaw? It happens to be one of my favorite foods. It goes good with most meals. Barbecue in particular; fish and french fries where you can dip your hushpuppies in its juice. Cole slaw and hamburger; it makes a great topping along with mustard or ketchup. Slaw dogs- I grew up eating those at the local Dairy Queen. Most people would prefer a chili dog but not me. Make mine smothered in cole slaw. Alternate bites with thick crusty onion rings. OOh la la.

Cole slaw with chicken, even roast beef. The list goes on and on. Cole slaw is relatively easy to make. Start with a head of cabbage. Finely shredded or coarse, either was is fine with me. Add gobs of mayonaise and a tiny smooch of vinegar and you are in buisness. Some folks, although it takes some doing, can mess up this delicacy. Even though my mom is the greatest cook this side of Julia Child, cole slaw has escaped her expertise. Growing up with her slaw was painful.

She would deter from the basic ingredients already mentioned. Hers wasn’t a mayonnaisy slaw; it was a vinegary slaw with little black dots mixed liberally throughout. I assumed this was some sort of spice that was in there to make it taste better. Assumed is the key word.

I think her cole slaw was sweet, too. Like maybe she put a lot of sugar in it. Cole slaw ain’t supposed to be sweet; it’s supposed to be SOUR. Mom, you are the bomb and you are the best cook, but you need pointers on cole slaw.

At the cafeteria where I am* employed, we have different kinds of slaw. Cole slaw with cream and cream slaw are my favorites. I must admit the cream slaw is a tad sweet, but there are exceptions to every rule. We also have an Italian slaw, pickled cabbage ( similar to you-know-who ), and a spanish slaw. The former slaws are our biggest sellers. Most bypass the pickled cabbage. There is a message here.

As the years pass by, my affinity for cole slaw increases. I can indulge on said item at least three or four times a week, cos there is never a chance of burn-out. In closing I will divulge my secret recipe. Great with hamburgers, barbecue, chicken, you name it. Bon appetit.

v.c.'s Cole Slaw OFFICIAL RECIPE

One Quarter Head Cabbage
Gobs of Mayonnaise
Smooch of Vinegar ( Must be White, never Wine )

Directions: Finely shred or coarsely shred cabbage. Put in big mixing bowl. Add the gobs of mayonnaise. Next add a smooch of vinegar. Mix all the ingredients until you can barely see the cabbage for the mayonnaise. Taste. Enjoy. Selah.

P.S. I think it was my Aunt Madeline who turned me on to this delighful concoction. No one made it better. And could she cook a mean burger, loaded with onions! And iced tea in a tall glass. Break out some cabbage; my mouth’s a'watering.

P.S.S. I gotta go with the coarse-cut.

Epilogue: Not sure when I wrote this. Late 80's. Early 90's perhaps. And penned on my Apple2c computer. They don't 'em like they used to. In this case, thank gawd.

"April Fools Day" or "Omnipotent, Omniscious, and Omnipresent"

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The catfish, aka yours truly, went the whole day without anyone playing an "A.F.J." on me. Damn, I must be loved.

It was a hellacious day, per usual, in the exciting world of food bizdom. God, in his infinite wisdom, must have a weird sense of humor. Because he deemed me-and other poor Joes-a life of servitude in well, uh, foodbizdom.

As Ethel Merman once bellowed: "There's no bizdom like food bizdom. And, alas, there will be no youtube video to substantiate the claim.

There are other shitty jobs, I know. Driving a rig through hazardous terrain such as the interstates; selling insurance to friends, relatives, and even strangers; teaching rowdy kids in grades 1-12; and fighting in wars via the military. All jobs have their downside. And if you have a boss, it's much worse.

And if you are the boss, you have all these hysterical minions wanting and demanding this and that.

Per example:

I need a raise!

I told you I can't work on Sundays.

I told you I can't work on Saturdays.

I don't want to wear a patch-what do you mean I can't smoke on these hallowed grounds known as my job site.

I told you I can't work at night.

My grandmother died, thus, I invoke the "family rights act" privilege, er, right.

I will sic the ACLU on your sorry ass.

I will sic the NAACP on your sorry demented ass.

What do you mean I have to work on Yom Kippur?

Where's the Holy Water? We don't have none?

Nobody told me it was "Daylite Savings Time?"

I sprung backward-not forward-sorry.

What do you mean I can't ogle her ass?

I must leave early in order to retrieve my Viagra prescription.

Why can't they pump Ethel Merman through the muzak?

You're fired.

Another April Fools Day" has come and gone. Fall backward and spring forward, v.c.

P.S. Not a single "A.F.D." joke played on yours truly today. Where's the love? Wassup?

P.S.S. Come as you are? Eh?

 

"Pet Sounds"

Good song from 66. Not Route 66 but in the year of our lord, 1966. A.D. Anno domini. Methinks. Time flies when yer having fun, as it's been 42 years ago if the math be right. And because yours truly is good with figures, and because I counted on my fingers, the amount of time that has passed is correctomondo.

From the album [ l.p. ] "Pet Sounds."
Pet Sounds is a 1966 album recorded by American pop group The Beach Boys. It has been widely ranked as one of the most influential record albums ever released. Mojo Magazine ranked it greatest album of all time. The album has been ranked at number #1 in several music magazines' lists of greatest albums of all time, including New Musical Express, The Times and Pure Pop's lists. It was number #2 in Rolling Stone Magazine's list. According to Acclaimedmusic.net, Pet Sounds is the most acclaimed pop album of all time by music

Be it as it may, I believe "Rolling Stone Magazine" had it right by proclaiming "Revolver" as the numero uno best album of all time. And we all know who recorded it. Well, some of us, anyway.

"Ben Gay on a Weiner?"

As a self-professed game-shows-aholic, I ran across these tonight. I know when you preface something by saying "this is funny," there's normally the typical letdown. But imho, these are hilarious.

"Favorite Condiment?"

"I'm So Tired"

Tonight's installment is a repeat, a command performance, if you will. From May 23, 2005. The post still rings true today....and always will. This go 'round, a video has been added to enhance the effect. Don't think youtube had been invented at this most-exciting time in history.

Don't you hate it when you ask somebody "how you doin?" And they say, "I'm tired."

When I receive this response-and it increases every day-I normally use one of the following for a comeback:

1) I'm sorry to hear that.

2) Thanks for sharing that with me!

3) Why don't you go home and get some rest?

4) 8 hour shifts are murder.

5) I wish you had bankers hours, too.

6) Maybe you'll win the lotto so you can tell that cantankerous son of a boss of yours to take his/her job and shove it.

7) Yes, it would be nice if we could stop the world and get off?

8) I can't complain. I tried once and it didn't do any good.

9) Some people have it made. Unfortunately you don't.

10) Shut the f*** up, will you? I'm tired, too, and your whining is getting on my freaking nerves. I've been working hard all day; my feet hurt; and most of the people I dealt with were passive-aggressive. Just say I'm fine like the rest of us. And shut the f*** up. Have a nice day!

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. I really am tired tonite. I know-shut the f*** up!

Posted by vietnamcatfish at 10:42 PM 0 comments Links to this post

"Lee Strasberg School of Acting"

Seems I have a knack of repeating myself. I googled Jack S Phogburn and lo and behold, the only entrants to my query rested at Golden Pond. Both mentioned how I was in the stage play, "L'il Abner," when I traversed the halls of Rowdy High. I played the part of Jack S. Phogburn-maybe it's actually Fogburn-and crooned one song. I did my best Brando, via Lee Strasberg, but it was difficult seeing how my part was a minor one. But, yes, hootster, that be me in the photo. The tall, lanky and skinny one aka v.c.

Here's a repeat of the story. Written in May 2005. Almost 3 years ago. A lot has changed since then.

It was a rowdy Saturday. And there was magic in the air. Rowdy High was inviting all its old alumni to a reunion, the Rowdy High Reunion. The emails had been circulating for weeks. So had the phone calls. But, unlike years past, this one was open to all Rowdy High grads. And because I graduated magna cum rowdy back in the day, v.c. would be in attendance. It would be good to see old friends from a time long, long ago. ( All those years ago! )

I had worked until the afternoon so it was 7 p.m. when I walked into the foyer of the Elks Lodge, even though the festivities had commenced around noon. I signed in, paid my $5.00 to Sharon Mattox, class of '69, while we exchanged pleasantries. She and I were voted "Most Talented" in '69. Man, did I have them fooled. While on the other hand, Sharon was most deserving. She still has an infectious smile which radiates good vibrations. ( apologies to the Beachboys )

I got a blank nametag from Sharon and wrote "V.C." and was ready to mingle. But before walking a few steps, Judy Bailey came to my rescue by inscribing the "Class of '69" under my name. We, the '69ers, shared a camaraderie as I recalled our motto, our unofficial motto which Mr. Woodall, our principal, didn't cotton to:

"Sex, sin, beer, and wine, we're the class of '69." Pretty tame stuff in 2005. Wouldn't today's parents rejoice if all they had to worry about with their kids was beer and wine?

Shirley, sex is still a problem. And Shirley did have sex back in the 60's. But Shirley was few and far between. At least in my experiences. So we made out. And we tried to fondle big or small breastes. And we gave hickeys. And we copped an occasional feel. But for the most part it was pure Puritanical times as the girls were saving themselves for their Prince Charming. For us guys it was okay to be whores and sluts, cos society condoned our behaviors.

Today we're all whores. ( men and women ) But in '69 there was a different standard. Girls wore dresses. No pants. And they wore girdles to keep their tummies in and playtex living bras to maintain a level of upheaval and support. We fellas needed support as well although reserved exclusively in the sporting arena.

And, yes, we were sinful. But hasn't that been going on since the beginning of time. ( See Adam and Eve for more detailed reports; or consult Romulus and Remus; Plato and Aristotle; Mohammad and Cassius Clay.

I left Sharon to mill around and to see what was going on and immediately ran into Ron Trimble. He had gone the way of Yul Brynner and to think we used to call men sans hair, "Mr. Clean." How things have changed. Now its stylish to be bald. And wasn't it Michael Jordan who paved the way?

I had just shaken Ron's hand when a distant voice rang out, "Hey, V.C." It was Gary Nelson, a former member of Rowdy High's Band on the Run.

We immediately began singing: "Stuck inside these 4 walls; stuck inside forever; never seeing no one; nice again; like yoooooooooooou; mama yoooooooooooo; oooooooooohhhhhhhhh.

Me and Gary had hooked up on the internet. I had seen his email address on the "Rowdy High" web site and shot him a note. I wanted to know what he was up to and to offer my condolences for his father's death. His dad had taught me music from my days at Tull Waters ( Toilet Waters to our adversaries ) until my completion of the 12th grade. His dad held us to the highest standards, and I always felt we let him down. Our hormones were kicking into high gear in our junior and senior years, and we were more concerned with the opposite sex than in taking time to learn our studies. And for us guys we were heading into our sexual peak. Little did we know that girls didn't reach their sexual zenith until 35. It is God's way of playing practical jokes. Thanks alot, eh!

Me and Gary had been keeping in touch for the last few weeks. Sending emails and talking over old times. And I had given him the address to "Golden Pond" and he seemed to "dig it." ( expression from back in the turbulent 60's meaning he liked it ) Gary is the consummate concert goer, and we seem to like the same of music. Led Zeppelin rings a bell among others. Even tho I doubt he shares my passion for the Fab 4 as well chronicled in "Golden Pond" forays into the infantile.

Brian Claxton joined us as we were traipsing memory lane. He had played cornet in our band on the run. He had joined the Army after graduation but missed Vietnam because he was only 17. Seems you had to be 18 to make the journey to Southeast Asia. He served in North Carolina and spent 20 years in the armed forces. What a difference a few generations make. Today the U.S. military is well respected, but in those dark days of Vietnam, the guys in uniform took a merciless beating.

And we had to serve-conscription being the order of the day. A few fled to Canada while others went to college. My lottery number was an anemic "69," so if "I flunked out," yours truly would have had to engage in the fight against Communism; to stem the tide. Or was it actually a ploy by the American Capitalists to line their pockets with money? Who knows? But it divided the country. And it hasn't been the same since. For more in-depth analysis see "The Domino Effect." Not about pizzas-sorry.

Bogus Bob ( Craig ), a name he coined for himself, was also at the reunion. He, Kerry Watkins and David Harper had provided the live entertainment earlier in the day, but by being late, I wasn't privy to what was Shirley a grand spectacle. Bob could always belt out a tune. And during the V.N. era after graduating "magna cum lordy," he said "ship ahoy and joined the nay ya vee." He ended up in Bahrain of all places, via Bogata, Columbia, Virginia Beach, Va., and on the dark continent, aka Africa. In the Middle East he was the lead singer of a Navy band, and they traversed the countryside as a bell-bottomed version of a band on the run.

Me and Bogie ( another name he coined for himself ) had been childhood chums since adolescence. We started kindergarten way back in the day, when he was 5 and I was 4. His birthday is in January while mine is in December. So he got his learner's license first, his driver's license first, and he probably beat me into puberty as well. His first ride was a '53 chevy, and then he graduated into a '69 Torino. They don't make 'em like they used to.

Me and Bob, although diehard bros, have always had a penchant for fighting. With each other! Through the many long years-from rock throwing as kids to fisticuffs as adults ( see poker games where we were always smashed and smashed each other-well, not always )-there are times where we just can't seem to get along. ( apologies to Rodney King ) But we're bros until the end.

And Alan Harper and David Harper, identical twins, were at the reunion. Remember David served as part of the entertainment. Alan had just been fired from his job of 26 years-yes, I can relate. Seems he was a victim of out-sourcing. Wonder if he voted for John Kerry?-forgot to ask him. And David is a food broker and I can relate to that. After spending beaucoup years in the exciting/glamorous food biz.

Alan mentioned seeing Jackie Satterwhite, another R.H. alum, a few years ago, who used to live on Harper Road, along with the twin Harpers. Seems Alan had a crush on Ms. Satterwhite who was a babe. Sure the term is sexist, but it's hard to shed one's roots. In the 40's and 50's she would have been referred to as a "dame."

And David knew about vietnam catfish, not me, but the fish, which is now known as "basa." Blame it on the Basa Nova, eh? Not many could tell the two siblings apart but to me it was never an issue. It seems they look more alike today than yesterday. The nuances are subtle but to the trained eye-no problemo.

My old bro, Paul Brooks was at the reunion along with his lovely wife, Debra. Me and Paul have known each other since grammar school, and we attended Truck University together where we became bros in spirit for life. I didn't know Paul was Catholic until recently. Well, I've deduced this anyway. Cos Paul and Debra had about 20 kids together and 10 from previous marriages. You should see the Christmas photo they send every year. After the gala Saturday night, me, Paul, and Debra had a late dinner at the infamous "Waffle House." I had a hamburger and a tiny, tiny salad in a tiny, tiny bowl,( what's up with that? ) while Paul and Debra enjoyed omelettes, steak, and waffles. Seems they ordered for the whole clan.

And there were people there that I haven't seen in years/decades. Wayne Pierce, former jock/athlete, Barry Brown, who looked like he was 20 years younger, Larry Fields, who attended some of our rowdy poker games back in the day, ( he remembers a classic fight between me and Bogie-libation induced ) and Steve Watts. Who recounted how he was the enforcer on Rowdy High's basketball team, and how he once threw an opponent onto the first row of the bleachers, Yes, a melee ensued.

And the women were there. Vicki Ludwig, Mary DeFreese, Becky Aaron to name a few. And my old buddy, Cathy Magness, who claims I coined the phrase "Cathy Maggots." I apologized immediately for my past indiscretion. She was a band on the run majorette and is always a gregarious and fun-loving person. She told me she will soon be in a play at her church, "Steel Magnolias." Offering her vision into the Dolly Parton character. Bring plenty of kleenexes to stuff your chest, Miss Maggots, er, Miss Magness.

Jan Trollinger and her sister, Toni attended. And Judy Miller who used to be a customer of mine at my former digs. The trio was looking good as if time had been kind to them. In fact, all the dames, er, women from '69 were "fine.". But some of us guys-including myself-were portly, er, pleasingly plump with thinning hairlines.

Some of our old teachers were there. Ms. Ostrum, aka Ms. Givens, who taught me Latin for one year, engaged me to become a member of the debate team-our topic was the war in S.E. Asia- and who cast me as Senator Jack S. Phogburn in "L'il Abner" I even remember my one song which validated my 15 minutes of fame, allah Andy Warhol.

Of all the ordinary
Most unloved unnecessary
Places on this earth
They settled on yourn
They settled on yourn
As soon as yer born.
They settled on yourn.
Dogpatch.

And whatever happened to Al Kapp? Who once disparaged John and Yoko in their attempt to "give peace a chance."

Me and Ms. Ostrum talked for a few minutes. She said she remembered that I was smart but shy. Man, did I have her fooled. Especially the "smart" part. And she laughed when I told her my occupation. She was now a member of the "jet set" having flown in from Palm Springs of all places. Shirley, it was Palm Springs, Ca. and not Palm Springs, Alabama.

Ms. Ostrum/Givens was always a bit feisty and had a gritty voice, but her students admired and respected her. I started to ask her to conjugate "I exist; therefore, I am" in Latin cos we conjugated verbs all the time. But for old times sake, here's a feeble attempt:

Sum, Es, Est; Sumus Estes Ent! How soon they forget, eh?

I didn't talk with Mr. Hobson-never had him as a teacher. He probably wouldn't have remembered me anyway. I did have Coach Poulas who admonished me one day in class for being a wise ass. "Go play your tuba or cowbell and get to hell out of my class," he said. I apologize, Coach-sorry.

And the other coaches, McGhee and McConnell, who once said most of us would never make a million dollars in our lifetime. Mac 2 forgot to factor in inflation and the greed of the 80's and beyond. See Enron for example. If he remained a teacher all these years, Shirley he didn't hit the magic 6 zero's.

It was good seeing Jerell Bartlett, who no longer mows lawns on the side. And thanks to the folks who planned "a splendid time for all": David Wright and his lovely wife, Steve Barton, Donna Sosby, and Renee Fowler, whose parents used to dine with me, and all of whom were very gracious and made us feel at home.

Eddie Murphy, Gary Thomas, David Tuggle, Eileen Smith and her husband, Scott, and Lanny Puckett and all the others. I had a great time. And to the nice woman ( dame ) at the bar who was getting soused and graduated from Bass High. ( no relation )

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. Did they play any Stones or Fab 4 at the reunion? Gimme shelter!

Posted by vietnamcatfish at 12:40 PM 2 comments Links to this post


P.S. I even saw a picture I posted during that time frame. Phi Zappa Krappa. Must be old timers disease. But, at least, I'm regular.

"Yea or Nay"

This is Post #1799, so that means Post # 1800 is just a shot away, a kiss away. Time flies when yer havin' fun.

The NCAA Tournament, aka March Madness, unveiled its 2008 edition Thursday night. Me being the sportsaholic tuned in to watch. The Dawgs looked good in the 1st half but bowed to superior talent in the, er, end.

I just saw Jamie Lee Curtis hawking "Activia" on the vast wasteland, aka television. Seems this is the product for one who wants to stay regular.

When I was a kid and young adult, I never thought much of staying regular. Even as an older guy, I don't think much about it. That's one problem I've never had....

"Hello v.c. How are you today?"

"I'm great. And I'm regular."

"Oh, I envy you. I would give anything to have a good old bowel movement. I've been a bit, er, uh, irregular lately."

"I'm sorry to hear that, but thanks for sharing it with me."

"I've tried roughage, prunes, er, uh, laxatives to no avail."

"I'm sorry to hear the unhappy news. Must be in the genes. Have you tried "Activia? Jamie Lee Curtis endorses it. I'm sure when she was starring in all of those "Halloween" flicks, being regular never entered her mind, but as the onslaught of old age reared its ugly head, it became a big concern. I wonder if John Carpenter is regular. George Bush-wonder if he's ever been asked that in the Oval Office or at one of his news conferences? Or Bill-even Hillary-Clinton?"

"I will try it. Anything to get regular. Thanks, v.c."

"You're welcome."

After tomorrow, we're down to the sweet sixteen. Teams that is. March Madness et al.

Wonder if any of the players suffered from irregularity. Affecting his shot. And jumping ability. At the press conference....

"You had an open look at the basket with the game on the line. You normally make that shot, Juan."

"I don't want to make excuses, but I haven't been regular this week."

"Irregularity, eh?"

Yea, the sweet sixteen. And when we were sixteen, most of us never dreamed of what lay ahead.

If you, the reader, has had the, er, stomach to read this far, please leave a comment as to your regularity. Because as we all know, when we get behind closed doors.... An irregular apology to Charlie Rich.

http://boss.streamos.com/wmedia/capi001/johnlennon/watchingthewhee/video/watchingthewhee_v300.asx

The Long and Winding Road"

It was "Beatles" week again this, er, week on "American Idol." All the 11 remaining contestants had to sing a tune from the Fab 4. All selections paled in comparison to the real McCoy. Apologies to Pepino. Hispanic reference as the denizens from well, uh, down under have made their mark on modern-day America.

Speaking of which, a movie which is currently playing on the vast wasteland is one "Easy Rider." Written by Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper. Directed by the latter.
Old songs from back in the day. Take a load off Fanny; Born to be wild; some Byrd tunes; et al. And Toni Basil [ of Mickey fame ] has a part as a prostitute or wanton girl.

Lots of drugs and co-stars Jack Nicholson. Who didn't mime "you can't handle the truth" until many moons later.

And on "American Idol" the denizens of this world were treated to "Day Tripper"; "Yesterday"; and "Back in the U.S.S.R."; among others. The latter sung by the "booted-off" contestant. A female. Who mouthed-off to Simon's critique.

Here's the song I would have sung, if anyone had asked me to. Which was sung by David Archuleta, the odds-on=favorite to win the thing.



P.S. Gotta get back to Easy Rider, v.c.

P.S.S. Other memorable tunes from E.R. "Don't bogart that joint"; and "if 6 were 9."

"Behind Blue Eyes"

"Mystery Guest: Sign in, Please!"

As a young tyke, I liked game shows. To this day, I like 'em.

"What's My Line" aired every night on Sundays at 10:30 p.m. "Candid Camera" preceded it at 10:00 with the affable Allen Funt and Durwood Kirby. Not many people are named Durwood these days. And rightfully so. Who in his right mind would want that as a name?

As a youngster I had school on Monday mornings, of course, so it was important for me to get my 8 hours of sleep. So I would test my mother's limits by trying to stay up and watch these two shows. Most of the time she would let me, but every now and then she would use her authority and make me go to sleep.

The show was educational. I learned the word "edible" at an early age. Seems Ms. Kilgallen, one of the regular panelists, liked to throw that word around. I thought she was kinda stuffy for using that word instead of eatable. What did I know?

Seems Ms. Kilgallen was also linked to the Kennedy assasination. And may have been killed for her investigative reporting into the matter. Similarly the same as Marilyn Monroe, she of the "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" fame. Plus, she was a gorgeous movie star. She was my first celebrity crush. And crushed was I when she died of an apparent suicide in 1962.

The reruns of the show are on the GSN every night at 3 a.m., and I'm watching it now. The mystery guest is due to come on now. Who will tonight's guest be?....
by jove, it's Chuck Dressan, manager of the L.A., er, Brooklyn Dodgers. Ah, nostalgia.

I'm a game show junkie. And it all started with my watching the venerable game show "What's My Line?" As a youngster, who sneaked a peek from his bedroom, until his mom relented and let me watch from the living room.

Mystery challenger, sign him please. v.c.

P.S. And who can forget the charming Arlene Francis and Bennet Cerf, he of Random House fame. And the host, John Daly.

P.S.S. According to reports, the cast and show were never the same after the death of Ms. Kilgallen. A pall, if you will, hung over the production and cast members..


The following video is telling, especially concerning Ms. Kilgallen.



P.S. 3: "I've Got A Secret" is playing now with the affable Garry Moore. They are analyzing the upcoming fight of Sonny Listen vs. one, Cassius Clay. This is great stuff. Circa '63 or was it '64? Sonny Listen was said to be unbeatable. As we all know ( or most of us ) Clay beat Listen, and in the rematch, Sonny supposedly took a dive. A phantom punch sent him to the canvas, and he was never heard of again. Another case of conspiracy theory. This is good stuff, eh?

"Pure Fluff"

As are most of my other forays into the infantile.

I had a crush on my red-headed 4th grade teacher, Miss Wise. Back in those pre-historic days, Ms. hadn't been invented. It would take Gloria Steinem or Helen Gurdy Brown to change all of that.

Miss Wise was hot. One day she was rummaging through her pocketbook, and I could see a pack of cigarettes. Disillusioned was I that my girl friend smoked. How could she do that to me. I never thought of her in the same vein, even tho' my crush lingered on until the end of the year.

I never saw her again, as we moved to another neighborhood the following year. Wonder if she's still alive? Or if she still smokes? Or if she's hooked-up to an iron lung? I doubt she is the stunning redhead she once was, because she's got to be in her late 60's.

I was hot for Miss Wise and hot for teacher. Apologies to Van Halen.

"American Beauty"

Another bizarre film. Saw it in its entirety tonight. For the first time. And two great songs in the soundtrack. Another peek at Americana.