Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Sloganless Revisited
Back in my incubating period as a fledgling writer on the Yahoo, I submitted these ideas to the brass for their approval and perusal. They were jingles for my company. Slogans, if you will.
They never saw the light of day. Evidently, the brass decided to go outside the company and hired a "Marketing Director." His ideas didn't pan out, and they hired another "M.D." and another ad agency. Still mired in the proverbial quagmire, what might have occurred had the savvy ad types enlisted my aid.
Perhaps my company would still be listed on the N.Y. Stock Exchange. Maybe we would not have endured the heartbreak of bankruptcy and ye old musical chairs syndrome, evident today. And perhaps the Hootster would still be calling the shots at his old venue, H.W. [ Heaven Whole ] Who knows? But it wasn't meant to be. Que sera sera.
Maybe a savvy ad type will peruse the following and decide to use one of them in his/her next ad campaign. The following exercise in futility was written in late 2001. And here it is:
New theme songs and slogans for Piccadilly; Submitted for your approval.
1) Hey Dude.
Don't make it bad.
Take a sack home and you'll feel better.
( sung to the Beatles "Hey Jude" )
2) To All The Dillys.
Weve served before.
We're glad you came along.
We dedicate this song.
To all the dillys we've served before.
( sung to "All The Girls" by Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias )
3) Dilly Love Songs.
You'd think that people would have had enough of dilly love songs.
I look around me and I see it isn't so.
Some people want to fill the world with dilly love songs.
And what's wrong with that?
I'd like to know.
Cos here we go.
Again.
( sung to Wings' "Silly Love Songs" )
4)SuperDilly Dreamin'.
I'd be safe and warm.
If I was in La. [ Louisiana ]
Superdilly dreamin'.
On such a winter's day.
( sung to the Mamas and Papas "California Dreamin'" )
5) I Get A Pound.
I'm getting bugged driving up and down the same old strip.
I gotta find a new place where the food is hip.
I get a pound.
Plenty of times.
When they cut my corned beef.
Or when they cut my roast beef.
I get a pound.
( sung to the Beachboys' "I Get Around" )
6) Love PIC Madly.
Don't you want a dilly?
Might see Milli Vanilli.
Don't you love PIC as you're walking out the door.
Like you've done one hundred times before.
( sung to "Love Her Madly" by the Doors )
7) Oh, Lord.
Won't you buy me a signature meal?
My friends all buy dillys.
I must make amends.
( sung to "Mercedes Benz" by Janis Joplin )
8) Looking For Food.
In all the wrong places.
Looking for food in all the wrong faces.
Looking for food.
( sung to "Looking For Love"by Johnny Lee from the "Urban Cowboy" soundtrack )
9) Somebody's Dilly.
It must be somebody's dilly.
It's got to be somebody's dilly.
It's so fine.
I try to shut my eyes.
But I can't get it outta my sight.
It's gotta be somebody's dilly.
( sung to Jackson Browne's "Somebody's Baby" )
10) Imagine.
Imagine there's no combos.
I wonder if you can.
No best value.
A brotherhood of pans.
Imagine all the rowdy customers.
Living life in peace.
You may say I'm a dreamer.
But I'm not the only one.
I hope someday we'll serve you.
And the dilly will be as one.
( sung to "Imagine" by John Lennon )
Well that be it. No signature farewell and adieu at the time. And approval but no perusal. Evolution, eh?
Farewell and adieu, v.c.
P.S. Due to the late hour, no postscripts tonite.
Posted by vietnamcatfish at 10:08 PM 1 comments Links to this post
Monday, April 14, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
"Global Warming"
Thursday, June 15, 2006
"So You Like To Write? Eh????????"
You think it's easy writing these forays into the infantile? Well, let me assure you-it ain't. You have to be inspired plus you have to think of something clever to say! I ain't the most clever person in the world, in fact my elevator don't stop on every floor, so you can see why it's a tough gig.
There are plenty of subjects that are out there, just prime for the pickings. The war in Iraq is one. I just read where John Kerry recently stated that he had made a mistake in endorsing the middle east slugfest a few years back. Well ain't that big of him? What a total jerk-off! Where would we have been with that numb nut as the president?
And then Al Gore is parading his goofy ass around extolling the possibilities of global warming, and how the last days of Earth-as we know it-are just about kaput, fini.' Segue! I'm wondering if Gillette can bring back those aerosol deodorant sprays? The smell from those cannisters was akin to Nirvana. Ah, memories!
And for the sports fans out there-if any-Shaq and Dirk are heating things up in the NBA Finals. Everyone knows Shaq, but how many know of the 7 footer from Germany.
"Yah, I'm glad to be playing basketball in the United States. And I'd like to thank Mr. Al Gore for inventing the internet, and kudos to Mr Skerry who earned????? many purple hearts for bravery in the wilds of Vietnam. Yah!"
And then there's the Atlanta Braves who are experiencing one of their worst slides ( pun intended??? ) since 1990. After 15 years of winning their division, which is unprecedented in modern professional sports-it appears the bloom is off the rose.
Not sure how Brittney Spears is making out ( pun unintended ) nor do I know the perils that Jennifer Anniston may be enduring in this continuum of time and space, nor do I know if Siegfried-or was it Leroy, er, Roy-has made a full recovery from his vicious tiger attack, so we can't "go there." ( urban slang )
So this is what a writer, like myself?????, goes through when attempting to write-in my case-forays into the infantile. It ain't all it's cracked up ( another pun??????? ) to be. Back to the egg, eh?
You have just read another imbecilic foray by none other than v.c. Patent pending????
Posted by vietnamcatfish at 11:49 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Sunday, January 29, 2006
"So You Like To Write? Eh????????"
You think it's easy writing these forays into the infantile? Well, let me assure you-it ain't. You have to be inspired plus you have to think of something clever to say! I ain't the most clever person in the world, in fact my elevator don't stop on every floor, so you can see why it's a tough gig.
There are plenty of subjects that are out there, just prime for the pickings. The war in Iraq is one. I just read where John Kerry recently stated that he had made a mistake in endorsing the middle east slugfest a few years back. Well ain't that big of him? What a total jerk-off! Where would we have been with that numb nut as the president?
And then Al Gore is parading his goofy ass around extolling the possibilities of global warming, and how the last days of Earth-as we know it-are just about kaput, fini.' Segue! I'm wondering if Gillette can bring back those aerosol deodorant sprays? The smell from those cannisters was akin to Nirvana. Ah, memories!
And for the sports fans out there-if any-Shaq and Dirk are heating things up in the NBA Finals. Everyone knows Shaq, but how many know of the 7 footer from Germany.
"Yah, I'm glad to be playing basketball in the United States. And I'd like to thank Mr. Al Gore for inventing the internet, and kudos to Mr Skerry who earned????? many purple hearts for bravery in the wilds of Vietnam. Yah!"
And then there's the Atlanta Braves who are experiencing one of their worst slides ( pun intended??? ) since 1990. After 15 years of winning their division, which is unprecedented in modern professional sports-it appears the bloom is off the rose.
Not sure how Brittney Spears is making out ( pun unintended ) nor do I know the perils that Jennifer Anniston may be enduring in this continuum of time and space, nor do I know if Siegfried-or was it Leroy, er, Roy-has made a full recovery from his vicious tiger attack, so we can't "go there." ( urban slang )
So this is what a writer, like myself?????, goes through when attempting to write-in my case-forays into the infantile. It ain't all it's cracked up ( another pun??????? ) to be. Back to the egg, eh?
You have just read another imbecilic foray by none other than v.c. Patent pending????
Posted by vietnamcatfish at 11:49 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
"Link to 'I Was a Teenage.....'"
I saw this movie as a youngster. Top ten grossing film of '57. What was my mother thinking?
P.S. Starred Michael Landon in the title role. He of "Bonanza"; "Little House on the Prarie"; "Stairway, er, Highway to Heaven" fame.
P.S. Starred Michael Landon in the title role. He of "Bonanza"; "Little House on the Prarie"; "Stairway, er, Highway to Heaven" fame.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
"Cole Slaw Revisited"
Monday, December 26, 2005
"Cole Slaw"
Another foray from back in the day. Cholesterol, smesterol. Our story tonite was written before anyone knew about cholesterol. Now a 4 letter word. Submitted for....
Everyone loves cole slaw? It happens to be one of my favorite foods. It goes good with most meals. Barbecue in particular; fish and french fries where you can dip your hushpuppies in its juice. Cole slaw and hamburger; it makes a great topping along with mustard or ketchup. Slaw dogs- I grew up eating those at the local Dairy Queen. Most people would prefer a chili dog but not me. Make mine smothered in cole slaw. Alternate bites with thick crusty onion rings. OOh la la.
Cole slaw with chicken, even roast beef. The list goes on and on. Cole slaw is relatively easy to make. Start with a head of cabbage. Finely shredded or coarse, either was is fine with me. Add gobs of mayonaise and a tiny smooch of vinegar and you are in buisness. Some folks, although it takes some doing, can mess up this delicacy. Even though my mom is the greatest cook this side of Julia Child, cole slaw has escaped her expertise. Growing up with her slaw was painful.
She would deter from the basic ingredients already mentioned. Hers wasn’t a mayonnaisy slaw; it was a vinegary slaw with little black dots mixed liberally throughout. I assumed this was some sort of spice that was in there to make it taste better. Assumed is the key word.
I think her cole slaw was sweet, too. Like maybe she put a lot of sugar in it. Cole slaw ain’t supposed to be sweet; it’s supposed to be SOUR. Mom, you are the bomb and you are the best cook, but you need pointers on cole slaw.
At the cafeteria where I am* employed, we have different kinds of slaw. Cole slaw with cream and cream slaw are my favorites. I must admit the cream slaw is a tad sweet, but there are exceptions to every rule. We also have an Italian slaw, pickled cabbage ( similar to you-know-who ), and a spanish slaw. The former slaws are our biggest sellers. Most bypass the pickled cabbage. There is a message here.
As the years pass by, my affinity for cole slaw increases. I can indulge on said item at least three or four times a week, cos there is never a chance of burn-out. In closing I will divulge my secret recipe. Great with hamburgers, barbecue, chicken, you name it. Bon appetit.
v.c.'s Cole Slaw OFFICIAL RECIPE
One Quarter Head Cabbage
Gobs of Mayonnaise
Smooch of Vinegar ( Must be White, never Wine )
Directions: Finely shred or coarsely shred cabbage. Put in big mixing bowl. Add the gobs of mayonnaise. Next add a smooch of vinegar. Mix all the ingredients until you can barely see the cabbage for the mayonnaise. Taste. Enjoy. Selah.
P.S. I think it was my Aunt Madeline who turned me on to this delighful concoction. No one made it better. And could she cook a mean burger, loaded with onions! And iced tea in a tall glass. Break out some cabbage; my mouth’s a'watering.
P.S.S. I gotta go with the coarse-cut.
Epilogue: Not sure when I wrote this. Late 80's. Early 90's perhaps. And penned on my Apple2c computer. They don't 'em like they used to. In this case, thank gawd.
"Cole Slaw"
Another foray from back in the day. Cholesterol, smesterol. Our story tonite was written before anyone knew about cholesterol. Now a 4 letter word. Submitted for....
Everyone loves cole slaw? It happens to be one of my favorite foods. It goes good with most meals. Barbecue in particular; fish and french fries where you can dip your hushpuppies in its juice. Cole slaw and hamburger; it makes a great topping along with mustard or ketchup. Slaw dogs- I grew up eating those at the local Dairy Queen. Most people would prefer a chili dog but not me. Make mine smothered in cole slaw. Alternate bites with thick crusty onion rings. OOh la la.
Cole slaw with chicken, even roast beef. The list goes on and on. Cole slaw is relatively easy to make. Start with a head of cabbage. Finely shredded or coarse, either was is fine with me. Add gobs of mayonaise and a tiny smooch of vinegar and you are in buisness. Some folks, although it takes some doing, can mess up this delicacy. Even though my mom is the greatest cook this side of Julia Child, cole slaw has escaped her expertise. Growing up with her slaw was painful.
She would deter from the basic ingredients already mentioned. Hers wasn’t a mayonnaisy slaw; it was a vinegary slaw with little black dots mixed liberally throughout. I assumed this was some sort of spice that was in there to make it taste better. Assumed is the key word.
I think her cole slaw was sweet, too. Like maybe she put a lot of sugar in it. Cole slaw ain’t supposed to be sweet; it’s supposed to be SOUR. Mom, you are the bomb and you are the best cook, but you need pointers on cole slaw.
At the cafeteria where I am* employed, we have different kinds of slaw. Cole slaw with cream and cream slaw are my favorites. I must admit the cream slaw is a tad sweet, but there are exceptions to every rule. We also have an Italian slaw, pickled cabbage ( similar to you-know-who ), and a spanish slaw. The former slaws are our biggest sellers. Most bypass the pickled cabbage. There is a message here.
As the years pass by, my affinity for cole slaw increases. I can indulge on said item at least three or four times a week, cos there is never a chance of burn-out. In closing I will divulge my secret recipe. Great with hamburgers, barbecue, chicken, you name it. Bon appetit.
v.c.'s Cole Slaw OFFICIAL RECIPE
One Quarter Head Cabbage
Gobs of Mayonnaise
Smooch of Vinegar ( Must be White, never Wine )
Directions: Finely shred or coarsely shred cabbage. Put in big mixing bowl. Add the gobs of mayonnaise. Next add a smooch of vinegar. Mix all the ingredients until you can barely see the cabbage for the mayonnaise. Taste. Enjoy. Selah.
P.S. I think it was my Aunt Madeline who turned me on to this delighful concoction. No one made it better. And could she cook a mean burger, loaded with onions! And iced tea in a tall glass. Break out some cabbage; my mouth’s a'watering.
P.S.S. I gotta go with the coarse-cut.
Epilogue: Not sure when I wrote this. Late 80's. Early 90's perhaps. And penned on my Apple2c computer. They don't 'em like they used to. In this case, thank gawd.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
"April Fools Day" or "Omnipotent, Omniscious, and Omnipresent"
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The catfish, aka yours truly, went the whole day without anyone playing an "A.F.J." on me. Damn, I must be loved.
It was a hellacious day, per usual, in the exciting world of food bizdom. God, in his infinite wisdom, must have a weird sense of humor. Because he deemed me-and other poor Joes-a life of servitude in well, uh, foodbizdom.
As Ethel Merman once bellowed: "There's no bizdom like food bizdom. And, alas, there will be no youtube video to substantiate the claim.
There are other shitty jobs, I know. Driving a rig through hazardous terrain such as the interstates; selling insurance to friends, relatives, and even strangers; teaching rowdy kids in grades 1-12; and fighting in wars via the military. All jobs have their downside. And if you have a boss, it's much worse.
And if you are the boss, you have all these hysterical minions wanting and demanding this and that.
Per example:
I need a raise!
I told you I can't work on Sundays.
I told you I can't work on Saturdays.
I don't want to wear a patch-what do you mean I can't smoke on these hallowed grounds known as my job site.
I told you I can't work at night.
My grandmother died, thus, I invoke the "family rights act" privilege, er, right.
I will sic the ACLU on your sorry ass.
I will sic the NAACP on your sorry demented ass.
What do you mean I have to work on Yom Kippur?
Where's the Holy Water? We don't have none?
Nobody told me it was "Daylite Savings Time?"
I sprung backward-not forward-sorry.
What do you mean I can't ogle her ass?
I must leave early in order to retrieve my Viagra prescription.
Why can't they pump Ethel Merman through the muzak?
You're fired.
Another April Fools Day" has come and gone. Fall backward and spring forward, v.c.
P.S. Not a single "A.F.D." joke played on yours truly today. Where's the love? Wassup?
P.S.S. Come as you are? Eh?
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
"Pet Sounds"
Good song from 66. Not Route 66 but in the year of our lord, 1966. A.D. Anno domini. Methinks. Time flies when yer having fun, as it's been 42 years ago if the math be right. And because yours truly is good with figures, and because I counted on my fingers, the amount of time that has passed is correctomondo.
From the album [ l.p. ] "Pet Sounds."
Pet Sounds is a 1966 album recorded by American pop group The Beach Boys. It has been widely ranked as one of the most influential record albums ever released. Mojo Magazine ranked it greatest album of all time. The album has been ranked at number #1 in several music magazines' lists of greatest albums of all time, including New Musical Express, The Times and Pure Pop's lists. It was number #2 in Rolling Stone Magazine's list. According to Acclaimedmusic.net, Pet Sounds is the most acclaimed pop album of all time by music
Be it as it may, I believe "Rolling Stone Magazine" had it right by proclaiming "Revolver" as the numero uno best album of all time. And we all know who recorded it. Well, some of us, anyway.
Monday, March 31, 2008
"Ben Gay on a Weiner?"
As a self-professed game-shows-aholic, I ran across these tonight. I know when you preface something by saying "this is funny," there's normally the typical letdown. But imho, these are hilarious.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
"I'm So Tired"
Tonight's installment is a repeat, a command performance, if you will. From May 23, 2005. The post still rings true today....and always will. This go 'round, a video has been added to enhance the effect. Don't think youtube had been invented at this most-exciting time in history.
Don't you hate it when you ask somebody "how you doin?" And they say, "I'm tired."
When I receive this response-and it increases every day-I normally use one of the following for a comeback:
1) I'm sorry to hear that.
2) Thanks for sharing that with me!
3) Why don't you go home and get some rest?
4) 8 hour shifts are murder.
5) I wish you had bankers hours, too.
6) Maybe you'll win the lotto so you can tell that cantankerous son of a boss of yours to take his/her job and shove it.
7) Yes, it would be nice if we could stop the world and get off?
8) I can't complain. I tried once and it didn't do any good.
9) Some people have it made. Unfortunately you don't.
10) Shut the f*** up, will you? I'm tired, too, and your whining is getting on my freaking nerves. I've been working hard all day; my feet hurt; and most of the people I dealt with were passive-aggressive. Just say I'm fine like the rest of us. And shut the f*** up. Have a nice day!
Farewell and adieu, v.c.
P.S. I really am tired tonite. I know-shut the f*** up!
Posted by vietnamcatfish at 10:42 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Don't you hate it when you ask somebody "how you doin?" And they say, "I'm tired."
When I receive this response-and it increases every day-I normally use one of the following for a comeback:
1) I'm sorry to hear that.
2) Thanks for sharing that with me!
3) Why don't you go home and get some rest?
4) 8 hour shifts are murder.
5) I wish you had bankers hours, too.
6) Maybe you'll win the lotto so you can tell that cantankerous son of a boss of yours to take his/her job and shove it.
7) Yes, it would be nice if we could stop the world and get off?
8) I can't complain. I tried once and it didn't do any good.
9) Some people have it made. Unfortunately you don't.
10) Shut the f*** up, will you? I'm tired, too, and your whining is getting on my freaking nerves. I've been working hard all day; my feet hurt; and most of the people I dealt with were passive-aggressive. Just say I'm fine like the rest of us. And shut the f*** up. Have a nice day!
Farewell and adieu, v.c.
P.S. I really am tired tonite. I know-shut the f*** up!
Posted by vietnamcatfish at 10:42 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Sunday, March 23, 2008
"Lee Strasberg School of Acting"
Seems I have a knack of repeating myself. I googled Jack S Phogburn and lo and behold, the only entrants to my query rested at Golden Pond. Both mentioned how I was in the stage play, "L'il Abner," when I traversed the halls of Rowdy High. I played the part of Jack S. Phogburn-maybe it's actually Fogburn-and crooned one song. I did my best Brando, via Lee Strasberg, but it was difficult seeing how my part was a minor one. But, yes, hootster, that be me in the photo. The tall, lanky and skinny one aka v.c.
Here's a repeat of the story. Written in May 2005. Almost 3 years ago. A lot has changed since then.
It was a rowdy Saturday. And there was magic in the air. Rowdy High was inviting all its old alumni to a reunion, the Rowdy High Reunion. The emails had been circulating for weeks. So had the phone calls. But, unlike years past, this one was open to all Rowdy High grads. And because I graduated magna cum rowdy back in the day, v.c. would be in attendance. It would be good to see old friends from a time long, long ago. ( All those years ago! )
I had worked until the afternoon so it was 7 p.m. when I walked into the foyer of the Elks Lodge, even though the festivities had commenced around noon. I signed in, paid my $5.00 to Sharon Mattox, class of '69, while we exchanged pleasantries. She and I were voted "Most Talented" in '69. Man, did I have them fooled. While on the other hand, Sharon was most deserving. She still has an infectious smile which radiates good vibrations. ( apologies to the Beachboys )
I got a blank nametag from Sharon and wrote "V.C." and was ready to mingle. But before walking a few steps, Judy Bailey came to my rescue by inscribing the "Class of '69" under my name. We, the '69ers, shared a camaraderie as I recalled our motto, our unofficial motto which Mr. Woodall, our principal, didn't cotton to:
"Sex, sin, beer, and wine, we're the class of '69." Pretty tame stuff in 2005. Wouldn't today's parents rejoice if all they had to worry about with their kids was beer and wine?
Shirley, sex is still a problem. And Shirley did have sex back in the 60's. But Shirley was few and far between. At least in my experiences. So we made out. And we tried to fondle big or small breastes. And we gave hickeys. And we copped an occasional feel. But for the most part it was pure Puritanical times as the girls were saving themselves for their Prince Charming. For us guys it was okay to be whores and sluts, cos society condoned our behaviors.
Today we're all whores. ( men and women ) But in '69 there was a different standard. Girls wore dresses. No pants. And they wore girdles to keep their tummies in and playtex living bras to maintain a level of upheaval and support. We fellas needed support as well although reserved exclusively in the sporting arena.
And, yes, we were sinful. But hasn't that been going on since the beginning of time. ( See Adam and Eve for more detailed reports; or consult Romulus and Remus; Plato and Aristotle; Mohammad and Cassius Clay.
I left Sharon to mill around and to see what was going on and immediately ran into Ron Trimble. He had gone the way of Yul Brynner and to think we used to call men sans hair, "Mr. Clean." How things have changed. Now its stylish to be bald. And wasn't it Michael Jordan who paved the way?
I had just shaken Ron's hand when a distant voice rang out, "Hey, V.C." It was Gary Nelson, a former member of Rowdy High's Band on the Run.
We immediately began singing: "Stuck inside these 4 walls; stuck inside forever; never seeing no one; nice again; like yoooooooooooou; mama yoooooooooooo; oooooooooohhhhhhhhh.
Me and Gary had hooked up on the internet. I had seen his email address on the "Rowdy High" web site and shot him a note. I wanted to know what he was up to and to offer my condolences for his father's death. His dad had taught me music from my days at Tull Waters ( Toilet Waters to our adversaries ) until my completion of the 12th grade. His dad held us to the highest standards, and I always felt we let him down. Our hormones were kicking into high gear in our junior and senior years, and we were more concerned with the opposite sex than in taking time to learn our studies. And for us guys we were heading into our sexual peak. Little did we know that girls didn't reach their sexual zenith until 35. It is God's way of playing practical jokes. Thanks alot, eh!
Me and Gary had been keeping in touch for the last few weeks. Sending emails and talking over old times. And I had given him the address to "Golden Pond" and he seemed to "dig it." ( expression from back in the turbulent 60's meaning he liked it ) Gary is the consummate concert goer, and we seem to like the same of music. Led Zeppelin rings a bell among others. Even tho I doubt he shares my passion for the Fab 4 as well chronicled in "Golden Pond" forays into the infantile.
Brian Claxton joined us as we were traipsing memory lane. He had played cornet in our band on the run. He had joined the Army after graduation but missed Vietnam because he was only 17. Seems you had to be 18 to make the journey to Southeast Asia. He served in North Carolina and spent 20 years in the armed forces. What a difference a few generations make. Today the U.S. military is well respected, but in those dark days of Vietnam, the guys in uniform took a merciless beating.
And we had to serve-conscription being the order of the day. A few fled to Canada while others went to college. My lottery number was an anemic "69," so if "I flunked out," yours truly would have had to engage in the fight against Communism; to stem the tide. Or was it actually a ploy by the American Capitalists to line their pockets with money? Who knows? But it divided the country. And it hasn't been the same since. For more in-depth analysis see "The Domino Effect." Not about pizzas-sorry.
Bogus Bob ( Craig ), a name he coined for himself, was also at the reunion. He, Kerry Watkins and David Harper had provided the live entertainment earlier in the day, but by being late, I wasn't privy to what was Shirley a grand spectacle. Bob could always belt out a tune. And during the V.N. era after graduating "magna cum lordy," he said "ship ahoy and joined the nay ya vee." He ended up in Bahrain of all places, via Bogata, Columbia, Virginia Beach, Va., and on the dark continent, aka Africa. In the Middle East he was the lead singer of a Navy band, and they traversed the countryside as a bell-bottomed version of a band on the run.
Me and Bogie ( another name he coined for himself ) had been childhood chums since adolescence. We started kindergarten way back in the day, when he was 5 and I was 4. His birthday is in January while mine is in December. So he got his learner's license first, his driver's license first, and he probably beat me into puberty as well. His first ride was a '53 chevy, and then he graduated into a '69 Torino. They don't make 'em like they used to.
Me and Bob, although diehard bros, have always had a penchant for fighting. With each other! Through the many long years-from rock throwing as kids to fisticuffs as adults ( see poker games where we were always smashed and smashed each other-well, not always )-there are times where we just can't seem to get along. ( apologies to Rodney King ) But we're bros until the end.
And Alan Harper and David Harper, identical twins, were at the reunion. Remember David served as part of the entertainment. Alan had just been fired from his job of 26 years-yes, I can relate. Seems he was a victim of out-sourcing. Wonder if he voted for John Kerry?-forgot to ask him. And David is a food broker and I can relate to that. After spending beaucoup years in the exciting/glamorous food biz.
Alan mentioned seeing Jackie Satterwhite, another R.H. alum, a few years ago, who used to live on Harper Road, along with the twin Harpers. Seems Alan had a crush on Ms. Satterwhite who was a babe. Sure the term is sexist, but it's hard to shed one's roots. In the 40's and 50's she would have been referred to as a "dame."
And David knew about vietnam catfish, not me, but the fish, which is now known as "basa." Blame it on the Basa Nova, eh? Not many could tell the two siblings apart but to me it was never an issue. It seems they look more alike today than yesterday. The nuances are subtle but to the trained eye-no problemo.
My old bro, Paul Brooks was at the reunion along with his lovely wife, Debra. Me and Paul have known each other since grammar school, and we attended Truck University together where we became bros in spirit for life. I didn't know Paul was Catholic until recently. Well, I've deduced this anyway. Cos Paul and Debra had about 20 kids together and 10 from previous marriages. You should see the Christmas photo they send every year. After the gala Saturday night, me, Paul, and Debra had a late dinner at the infamous "Waffle House." I had a hamburger and a tiny, tiny salad in a tiny, tiny bowl,( what's up with that? ) while Paul and Debra enjoyed omelettes, steak, and waffles. Seems they ordered for the whole clan.
And there were people there that I haven't seen in years/decades. Wayne Pierce, former jock/athlete, Barry Brown, who looked like he was 20 years younger, Larry Fields, who attended some of our rowdy poker games back in the day, ( he remembers a classic fight between me and Bogie-libation induced ) and Steve Watts. Who recounted how he was the enforcer on Rowdy High's basketball team, and how he once threw an opponent onto the first row of the bleachers, Yes, a melee ensued.
And the women were there. Vicki Ludwig, Mary DeFreese, Becky Aaron to name a few. And my old buddy, Cathy Magness, who claims I coined the phrase "Cathy Maggots." I apologized immediately for my past indiscretion. She was a band on the run majorette and is always a gregarious and fun-loving person. She told me she will soon be in a play at her church, "Steel Magnolias." Offering her vision into the Dolly Parton character. Bring plenty of kleenexes to stuff your chest, Miss Maggots, er, Miss Magness.
Jan Trollinger and her sister, Toni attended. And Judy Miller who used to be a customer of mine at my former digs. The trio was looking good as if time had been kind to them. In fact, all the dames, er, women from '69 were "fine.". But some of us guys-including myself-were portly, er, pleasingly plump with thinning hairlines.
Some of our old teachers were there. Ms. Ostrum, aka Ms. Givens, who taught me Latin for one year, engaged me to become a member of the debate team-our topic was the war in S.E. Asia- and who cast me as Senator Jack S. Phogburn in "L'il Abner" I even remember my one song which validated my 15 minutes of fame, allah Andy Warhol.
Of all the ordinary
Most unloved unnecessary
Places on this earth
They settled on yourn
They settled on yourn
As soon as yer born.
They settled on yourn.
Dogpatch.
And whatever happened to Al Kapp? Who once disparaged John and Yoko in their attempt to "give peace a chance."
Me and Ms. Ostrum talked for a few minutes. She said she remembered that I was smart but shy. Man, did I have her fooled. Especially the "smart" part. And she laughed when I told her my occupation. She was now a member of the "jet set" having flown in from Palm Springs of all places. Shirley, it was Palm Springs, Ca. and not Palm Springs, Alabama.
Ms. Ostrum/Givens was always a bit feisty and had a gritty voice, but her students admired and respected her. I started to ask her to conjugate "I exist; therefore, I am" in Latin cos we conjugated verbs all the time. But for old times sake, here's a feeble attempt:
Sum, Es, Est; Sumus Estes Ent! How soon they forget, eh?
I didn't talk with Mr. Hobson-never had him as a teacher. He probably wouldn't have remembered me anyway. I did have Coach Poulas who admonished me one day in class for being a wise ass. "Go play your tuba or cowbell and get to hell out of my class," he said. I apologize, Coach-sorry.
And the other coaches, McGhee and McConnell, who once said most of us would never make a million dollars in our lifetime. Mac 2 forgot to factor in inflation and the greed of the 80's and beyond. See Enron for example. If he remained a teacher all these years, Shirley he didn't hit the magic 6 zero's.
It was good seeing Jerell Bartlett, who no longer mows lawns on the side. And thanks to the folks who planned "a splendid time for all": David Wright and his lovely wife, Steve Barton, Donna Sosby, and Renee Fowler, whose parents used to dine with me, and all of whom were very gracious and made us feel at home.
Eddie Murphy, Gary Thomas, David Tuggle, Eileen Smith and her husband, Scott, and Lanny Puckett and all the others. I had a great time. And to the nice woman ( dame ) at the bar who was getting soused and graduated from Bass High. ( no relation )
Farewell and adieu, v.c.
P.S. Did they play any Stones or Fab 4 at the reunion? Gimme shelter!
Posted by vietnamcatfish at 12:40 PM 2 comments Links to this post
P.S. I even saw a picture I posted during that time frame. Phi Zappa Krappa. Must be old timers disease. But, at least, I'm regular.
Here's a repeat of the story. Written in May 2005. Almost 3 years ago. A lot has changed since then.
It was a rowdy Saturday. And there was magic in the air. Rowdy High was inviting all its old alumni to a reunion, the Rowdy High Reunion. The emails had been circulating for weeks. So had the phone calls. But, unlike years past, this one was open to all Rowdy High grads. And because I graduated magna cum rowdy back in the day, v.c. would be in attendance. It would be good to see old friends from a time long, long ago. ( All those years ago! )
I had worked until the afternoon so it was 7 p.m. when I walked into the foyer of the Elks Lodge, even though the festivities had commenced around noon. I signed in, paid my $5.00 to Sharon Mattox, class of '69, while we exchanged pleasantries. She and I were voted "Most Talented" in '69. Man, did I have them fooled. While on the other hand, Sharon was most deserving. She still has an infectious smile which radiates good vibrations. ( apologies to the Beachboys )
I got a blank nametag from Sharon and wrote "V.C." and was ready to mingle. But before walking a few steps, Judy Bailey came to my rescue by inscribing the "Class of '69" under my name. We, the '69ers, shared a camaraderie as I recalled our motto, our unofficial motto which Mr. Woodall, our principal, didn't cotton to:
"Sex, sin, beer, and wine, we're the class of '69." Pretty tame stuff in 2005. Wouldn't today's parents rejoice if all they had to worry about with their kids was beer and wine?
Shirley, sex is still a problem. And Shirley did have sex back in the 60's. But Shirley was few and far between. At least in my experiences. So we made out. And we tried to fondle big or small breastes. And we gave hickeys. And we copped an occasional feel. But for the most part it was pure Puritanical times as the girls were saving themselves for their Prince Charming. For us guys it was okay to be whores and sluts, cos society condoned our behaviors.
Today we're all whores. ( men and women ) But in '69 there was a different standard. Girls wore dresses. No pants. And they wore girdles to keep their tummies in and playtex living bras to maintain a level of upheaval and support. We fellas needed support as well although reserved exclusively in the sporting arena.
And, yes, we were sinful. But hasn't that been going on since the beginning of time. ( See Adam and Eve for more detailed reports; or consult Romulus and Remus; Plato and Aristotle; Mohammad and Cassius Clay.
I left Sharon to mill around and to see what was going on and immediately ran into Ron Trimble. He had gone the way of Yul Brynner and to think we used to call men sans hair, "Mr. Clean." How things have changed. Now its stylish to be bald. And wasn't it Michael Jordan who paved the way?
I had just shaken Ron's hand when a distant voice rang out, "Hey, V.C." It was Gary Nelson, a former member of Rowdy High's Band on the Run.
We immediately began singing: "Stuck inside these 4 walls; stuck inside forever; never seeing no one; nice again; like yoooooooooooou; mama yoooooooooooo; oooooooooohhhhhhhhh.
Me and Gary had hooked up on the internet. I had seen his email address on the "Rowdy High" web site and shot him a note. I wanted to know what he was up to and to offer my condolences for his father's death. His dad had taught me music from my days at Tull Waters ( Toilet Waters to our adversaries ) until my completion of the 12th grade. His dad held us to the highest standards, and I always felt we let him down. Our hormones were kicking into high gear in our junior and senior years, and we were more concerned with the opposite sex than in taking time to learn our studies. And for us guys we were heading into our sexual peak. Little did we know that girls didn't reach their sexual zenith until 35. It is God's way of playing practical jokes. Thanks alot, eh!
Me and Gary had been keeping in touch for the last few weeks. Sending emails and talking over old times. And I had given him the address to "Golden Pond" and he seemed to "dig it." ( expression from back in the turbulent 60's meaning he liked it ) Gary is the consummate concert goer, and we seem to like the same of music. Led Zeppelin rings a bell among others. Even tho I doubt he shares my passion for the Fab 4 as well chronicled in "Golden Pond" forays into the infantile.
Brian Claxton joined us as we were traipsing memory lane. He had played cornet in our band on the run. He had joined the Army after graduation but missed Vietnam because he was only 17. Seems you had to be 18 to make the journey to Southeast Asia. He served in North Carolina and spent 20 years in the armed forces. What a difference a few generations make. Today the U.S. military is well respected, but in those dark days of Vietnam, the guys in uniform took a merciless beating.
And we had to serve-conscription being the order of the day. A few fled to Canada while others went to college. My lottery number was an anemic "69," so if "I flunked out," yours truly would have had to engage in the fight against Communism; to stem the tide. Or was it actually a ploy by the American Capitalists to line their pockets with money? Who knows? But it divided the country. And it hasn't been the same since. For more in-depth analysis see "The Domino Effect." Not about pizzas-sorry.
Bogus Bob ( Craig ), a name he coined for himself, was also at the reunion. He, Kerry Watkins and David Harper had provided the live entertainment earlier in the day, but by being late, I wasn't privy to what was Shirley a grand spectacle. Bob could always belt out a tune. And during the V.N. era after graduating "magna cum lordy," he said "ship ahoy and joined the nay ya vee." He ended up in Bahrain of all places, via Bogata, Columbia, Virginia Beach, Va., and on the dark continent, aka Africa. In the Middle East he was the lead singer of a Navy band, and they traversed the countryside as a bell-bottomed version of a band on the run.
Me and Bogie ( another name he coined for himself ) had been childhood chums since adolescence. We started kindergarten way back in the day, when he was 5 and I was 4. His birthday is in January while mine is in December. So he got his learner's license first, his driver's license first, and he probably beat me into puberty as well. His first ride was a '53 chevy, and then he graduated into a '69 Torino. They don't make 'em like they used to.
Me and Bob, although diehard bros, have always had a penchant for fighting. With each other! Through the many long years-from rock throwing as kids to fisticuffs as adults ( see poker games where we were always smashed and smashed each other-well, not always )-there are times where we just can't seem to get along. ( apologies to Rodney King ) But we're bros until the end.
And Alan Harper and David Harper, identical twins, were at the reunion. Remember David served as part of the entertainment. Alan had just been fired from his job of 26 years-yes, I can relate. Seems he was a victim of out-sourcing. Wonder if he voted for John Kerry?-forgot to ask him. And David is a food broker and I can relate to that. After spending beaucoup years in the exciting/glamorous food biz.
Alan mentioned seeing Jackie Satterwhite, another R.H. alum, a few years ago, who used to live on Harper Road, along with the twin Harpers. Seems Alan had a crush on Ms. Satterwhite who was a babe. Sure the term is sexist, but it's hard to shed one's roots. In the 40's and 50's she would have been referred to as a "dame."
And David knew about vietnam catfish, not me, but the fish, which is now known as "basa." Blame it on the Basa Nova, eh? Not many could tell the two siblings apart but to me it was never an issue. It seems they look more alike today than yesterday. The nuances are subtle but to the trained eye-no problemo.
My old bro, Paul Brooks was at the reunion along with his lovely wife, Debra. Me and Paul have known each other since grammar school, and we attended Truck University together where we became bros in spirit for life. I didn't know Paul was Catholic until recently. Well, I've deduced this anyway. Cos Paul and Debra had about 20 kids together and 10 from previous marriages. You should see the Christmas photo they send every year. After the gala Saturday night, me, Paul, and Debra had a late dinner at the infamous "Waffle House." I had a hamburger and a tiny, tiny salad in a tiny, tiny bowl,( what's up with that? ) while Paul and Debra enjoyed omelettes, steak, and waffles. Seems they ordered for the whole clan.
And there were people there that I haven't seen in years/decades. Wayne Pierce, former jock/athlete, Barry Brown, who looked like he was 20 years younger, Larry Fields, who attended some of our rowdy poker games back in the day, ( he remembers a classic fight between me and Bogie-libation induced ) and Steve Watts. Who recounted how he was the enforcer on Rowdy High's basketball team, and how he once threw an opponent onto the first row of the bleachers, Yes, a melee ensued.
And the women were there. Vicki Ludwig, Mary DeFreese, Becky Aaron to name a few. And my old buddy, Cathy Magness, who claims I coined the phrase "Cathy Maggots." I apologized immediately for my past indiscretion. She was a band on the run majorette and is always a gregarious and fun-loving person. She told me she will soon be in a play at her church, "Steel Magnolias." Offering her vision into the Dolly Parton character. Bring plenty of kleenexes to stuff your chest, Miss Maggots, er, Miss Magness.
Jan Trollinger and her sister, Toni attended. And Judy Miller who used to be a customer of mine at my former digs. The trio was looking good as if time had been kind to them. In fact, all the dames, er, women from '69 were "fine.". But some of us guys-including myself-were portly, er, pleasingly plump with thinning hairlines.
Some of our old teachers were there. Ms. Ostrum, aka Ms. Givens, who taught me Latin for one year, engaged me to become a member of the debate team-our topic was the war in S.E. Asia- and who cast me as Senator Jack S. Phogburn in "L'il Abner" I even remember my one song which validated my 15 minutes of fame, allah Andy Warhol.
Of all the ordinary
Most unloved unnecessary
Places on this earth
They settled on yourn
They settled on yourn
As soon as yer born.
They settled on yourn.
Dogpatch.
And whatever happened to Al Kapp? Who once disparaged John and Yoko in their attempt to "give peace a chance."
Me and Ms. Ostrum talked for a few minutes. She said she remembered that I was smart but shy. Man, did I have her fooled. Especially the "smart" part. And she laughed when I told her my occupation. She was now a member of the "jet set" having flown in from Palm Springs of all places. Shirley, it was Palm Springs, Ca. and not Palm Springs, Alabama.
Ms. Ostrum/Givens was always a bit feisty and had a gritty voice, but her students admired and respected her. I started to ask her to conjugate "I exist; therefore, I am" in Latin cos we conjugated verbs all the time. But for old times sake, here's a feeble attempt:
Sum, Es, Est; Sumus Estes Ent! How soon they forget, eh?
I didn't talk with Mr. Hobson-never had him as a teacher. He probably wouldn't have remembered me anyway. I did have Coach Poulas who admonished me one day in class for being a wise ass. "Go play your tuba or cowbell and get to hell out of my class," he said. I apologize, Coach-sorry.
And the other coaches, McGhee and McConnell, who once said most of us would never make a million dollars in our lifetime. Mac 2 forgot to factor in inflation and the greed of the 80's and beyond. See Enron for example. If he remained a teacher all these years, Shirley he didn't hit the magic 6 zero's.
It was good seeing Jerell Bartlett, who no longer mows lawns on the side. And thanks to the folks who planned "a splendid time for all": David Wright and his lovely wife, Steve Barton, Donna Sosby, and Renee Fowler, whose parents used to dine with me, and all of whom were very gracious and made us feel at home.
Eddie Murphy, Gary Thomas, David Tuggle, Eileen Smith and her husband, Scott, and Lanny Puckett and all the others. I had a great time. And to the nice woman ( dame ) at the bar who was getting soused and graduated from Bass High. ( no relation )
Farewell and adieu, v.c.
P.S. Did they play any Stones or Fab 4 at the reunion? Gimme shelter!
Posted by vietnamcatfish at 12:40 PM 2 comments Links to this post
P.S. I even saw a picture I posted during that time frame. Phi Zappa Krappa. Must be old timers disease. But, at least, I'm regular.
"Yea or Nay"
This is Post #1799, so that means Post # 1800 is just a shot away, a kiss away. Time flies when yer havin' fun.
The NCAA Tournament, aka March Madness, unveiled its 2008 edition Thursday night. Me being the sportsaholic tuned in to watch. The Dawgs looked good in the 1st half but bowed to superior talent in the, er, end.
I just saw Jamie Lee Curtis hawking "Activia" on the vast wasteland, aka television. Seems this is the product for one who wants to stay regular.
When I was a kid and young adult, I never thought much of staying regular. Even as an older guy, I don't think much about it. That's one problem I've never had....
"Hello v.c. How are you today?"
"I'm great. And I'm regular."
"Oh, I envy you. I would give anything to have a good old bowel movement. I've been a bit, er, uh, irregular lately."
"I'm sorry to hear that, but thanks for sharing it with me."
"I've tried roughage, prunes, er, uh, laxatives to no avail."
"I'm sorry to hear the unhappy news. Must be in the genes. Have you tried "Activia? Jamie Lee Curtis endorses it. I'm sure when she was starring in all of those "Halloween" flicks, being regular never entered her mind, but as the onslaught of old age reared its ugly head, it became a big concern. I wonder if John Carpenter is regular. George Bush-wonder if he's ever been asked that in the Oval Office or at one of his news conferences? Or Bill-even Hillary-Clinton?"
"I will try it. Anything to get regular. Thanks, v.c."
"You're welcome."
After tomorrow, we're down to the sweet sixteen. Teams that is. March Madness et al.
Wonder if any of the players suffered from irregularity. Affecting his shot. And jumping ability. At the press conference....
"You had an open look at the basket with the game on the line. You normally make that shot, Juan."
"I don't want to make excuses, but I haven't been regular this week."
"Irregularity, eh?"
Yea, the sweet sixteen. And when we were sixteen, most of us never dreamed of what lay ahead.
If you, the reader, has had the, er, stomach to read this far, please leave a comment as to your regularity. Because as we all know, when we get behind closed doors.... An irregular apology to Charlie Rich.
http://boss.streamos.com/wmedia/capi001/johnlennon/watchingthewhee/video/watchingthewhee_v300.asx
The NCAA Tournament, aka March Madness, unveiled its 2008 edition Thursday night. Me being the sportsaholic tuned in to watch. The Dawgs looked good in the 1st half but bowed to superior talent in the, er, end.
I just saw Jamie Lee Curtis hawking "Activia" on the vast wasteland, aka television. Seems this is the product for one who wants to stay regular.
When I was a kid and young adult, I never thought much of staying regular. Even as an older guy, I don't think much about it. That's one problem I've never had....
"Hello v.c. How are you today?"
"I'm great. And I'm regular."
"Oh, I envy you. I would give anything to have a good old bowel movement. I've been a bit, er, uh, irregular lately."
"I'm sorry to hear that, but thanks for sharing it with me."
"I've tried roughage, prunes, er, uh, laxatives to no avail."
"I'm sorry to hear the unhappy news. Must be in the genes. Have you tried "Activia? Jamie Lee Curtis endorses it. I'm sure when she was starring in all of those "Halloween" flicks, being regular never entered her mind, but as the onslaught of old age reared its ugly head, it became a big concern. I wonder if John Carpenter is regular. George Bush-wonder if he's ever been asked that in the Oval Office or at one of his news conferences? Or Bill-even Hillary-Clinton?"
"I will try it. Anything to get regular. Thanks, v.c."
"You're welcome."
After tomorrow, we're down to the sweet sixteen. Teams that is. March Madness et al.
Wonder if any of the players suffered from irregularity. Affecting his shot. And jumping ability. At the press conference....
"You had an open look at the basket with the game on the line. You normally make that shot, Juan."
"I don't want to make excuses, but I haven't been regular this week."
"Irregularity, eh?"
Yea, the sweet sixteen. And when we were sixteen, most of us never dreamed of what lay ahead.
If you, the reader, has had the, er, stomach to read this far, please leave a comment as to your regularity. Because as we all know, when we get behind closed doors.... An irregular apology to Charlie Rich.
http://boss.streamos.com/wmedia/capi001/johnlennon/watchingthewhee/video/watchingthewhee_v300.asx
Friday, March 21, 2008
The Long and Winding Road"
It was "Beatles" week again this, er, week on "American Idol." All the 11 remaining contestants had to sing a tune from the Fab 4. All selections paled in comparison to the real McCoy. Apologies to Pepino. Hispanic reference as the denizens from well, uh, down under have made their mark on modern-day America.
Speaking of which, a movie which is currently playing on the vast wasteland is one "Easy Rider." Written by Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper. Directed by the latter.
Old songs from back in the day. Take a load off Fanny; Born to be wild; some Byrd tunes; et al. And Toni Basil [ of Mickey fame ] has a part as a prostitute or wanton girl.
Lots of drugs and co-stars Jack Nicholson. Who didn't mime "you can't handle the truth" until many moons later.
And on "American Idol" the denizens of this world were treated to "Day Tripper"; "Yesterday"; and "Back in the U.S.S.R."; among others. The latter sung by the "booted-off" contestant. A female. Who mouthed-off to Simon's critique.
Here's the song I would have sung, if anyone had asked me to. Which was sung by David Archuleta, the odds-on=favorite to win the thing.
P.S. Gotta get back to Easy Rider, v.c.
P.S.S. Other memorable tunes from E.R. "Don't bogart that joint"; and "if 6 were 9."
Speaking of which, a movie which is currently playing on the vast wasteland is one "Easy Rider." Written by Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper. Directed by the latter.
Old songs from back in the day. Take a load off Fanny; Born to be wild; some Byrd tunes; et al. And Toni Basil [ of Mickey fame ] has a part as a prostitute or wanton girl.
Lots of drugs and co-stars Jack Nicholson. Who didn't mime "you can't handle the truth" until many moons later.
And on "American Idol" the denizens of this world were treated to "Day Tripper"; "Yesterday"; and "Back in the U.S.S.R."; among others. The latter sung by the "booted-off" contestant. A female. Who mouthed-off to Simon's critique.
Here's the song I would have sung, if anyone had asked me to. Which was sung by David Archuleta, the odds-on=favorite to win the thing.
P.S. Gotta get back to Easy Rider, v.c.
P.S.S. Other memorable tunes from E.R. "Don't bogart that joint"; and "if 6 were 9."
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
"Mystery Guest: Sign in, Please!"
As a young tyke, I liked game shows. To this day, I like 'em.
"What's My Line" aired every night on Sundays at 10:30 p.m. "Candid Camera" preceded it at 10:00 with the affable Allen Funt and Durwood Kirby. Not many people are named Durwood these days. And rightfully so. Who in his right mind would want that as a name?
As a youngster I had school on Monday mornings, of course, so it was important for me to get my 8 hours of sleep. So I would test my mother's limits by trying to stay up and watch these two shows. Most of the time she would let me, but every now and then she would use her authority and make me go to sleep.
The show was educational. I learned the word "edible" at an early age. Seems Ms. Kilgallen, one of the regular panelists, liked to throw that word around. I thought she was kinda stuffy for using that word instead of eatable. What did I know?
Seems Ms. Kilgallen was also linked to the Kennedy assasination. And may have been killed for her investigative reporting into the matter. Similarly the same as Marilyn Monroe, she of the "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" fame. Plus, she was a gorgeous movie star. She was my first celebrity crush. And crushed was I when she died of an apparent suicide in 1962.
The reruns of the show are on the GSN every night at 3 a.m., and I'm watching it now. The mystery guest is due to come on now. Who will tonight's guest be?....
by jove, it's Chuck Dressan, manager of the L.A., er, Brooklyn Dodgers. Ah, nostalgia.
I'm a game show junkie. And it all started with my watching the venerable game show "What's My Line?" As a youngster, who sneaked a peek from his bedroom, until his mom relented and let me watch from the living room.
Mystery challenger, sign him please. v.c.
P.S. And who can forget the charming Arlene Francis and Bennet Cerf, he of Random House fame. And the host, John Daly.
P.S.S. According to reports, the cast and show were never the same after the death of Ms. Kilgallen. A pall, if you will, hung over the production and cast members..
The following video is telling, especially concerning Ms. Kilgallen.
P.S. 3: "I've Got A Secret" is playing now with the affable Garry Moore. They are analyzing the upcoming fight of Sonny Listen vs. one, Cassius Clay. This is great stuff. Circa '63 or was it '64? Sonny Listen was said to be unbeatable. As we all know ( or most of us ) Clay beat Listen, and in the rematch, Sonny supposedly took a dive. A phantom punch sent him to the canvas, and he was never heard of again. Another case of conspiracy theory. This is good stuff, eh?
"What's My Line" aired every night on Sundays at 10:30 p.m. "Candid Camera" preceded it at 10:00 with the affable Allen Funt and Durwood Kirby. Not many people are named Durwood these days. And rightfully so. Who in his right mind would want that as a name?
As a youngster I had school on Monday mornings, of course, so it was important for me to get my 8 hours of sleep. So I would test my mother's limits by trying to stay up and watch these two shows. Most of the time she would let me, but every now and then she would use her authority and make me go to sleep.
The show was educational. I learned the word "edible" at an early age. Seems Ms. Kilgallen, one of the regular panelists, liked to throw that word around. I thought she was kinda stuffy for using that word instead of eatable. What did I know?
Seems Ms. Kilgallen was also linked to the Kennedy assasination. And may have been killed for her investigative reporting into the matter. Similarly the same as Marilyn Monroe, she of the "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" fame. Plus, she was a gorgeous movie star. She was my first celebrity crush. And crushed was I when she died of an apparent suicide in 1962.
The reruns of the show are on the GSN every night at 3 a.m., and I'm watching it now. The mystery guest is due to come on now. Who will tonight's guest be?....
by jove, it's Chuck Dressan, manager of the L.A., er, Brooklyn Dodgers. Ah, nostalgia.
I'm a game show junkie. And it all started with my watching the venerable game show "What's My Line?" As a youngster, who sneaked a peek from his bedroom, until his mom relented and let me watch from the living room.
Mystery challenger, sign him please. v.c.
P.S. And who can forget the charming Arlene Francis and Bennet Cerf, he of Random House fame. And the host, John Daly.
P.S.S. According to reports, the cast and show were never the same after the death of Ms. Kilgallen. A pall, if you will, hung over the production and cast members..
The following video is telling, especially concerning Ms. Kilgallen.
P.S. 3: "I've Got A Secret" is playing now with the affable Garry Moore. They are analyzing the upcoming fight of Sonny Listen vs. one, Cassius Clay. This is great stuff. Circa '63 or was it '64? Sonny Listen was said to be unbeatable. As we all know ( or most of us ) Clay beat Listen, and in the rematch, Sonny supposedly took a dive. A phantom punch sent him to the canvas, and he was never heard of again. Another case of conspiracy theory. This is good stuff, eh?
Thursday, March 13, 2008
"Pure Fluff"
As are most of my other forays into the infantile.
I had a crush on my red-headed 4th grade teacher, Miss Wise. Back in those pre-historic days, Ms. hadn't been invented. It would take Gloria Steinem or Helen Gurdy Brown to change all of that.
Miss Wise was hot. One day she was rummaging through her pocketbook, and I could see a pack of cigarettes. Disillusioned was I that my girl friend smoked. How could she do that to me. I never thought of her in the same vein, even tho' my crush lingered on until the end of the year.
I never saw her again, as we moved to another neighborhood the following year. Wonder if she's still alive? Or if she still smokes? Or if she's hooked-up to an iron lung? I doubt she is the stunning redhead she once was, because she's got to be in her late 60's.
I was hot for Miss Wise and hot for teacher. Apologies to Van Halen.
I had a crush on my red-headed 4th grade teacher, Miss Wise. Back in those pre-historic days, Ms. hadn't been invented. It would take Gloria Steinem or Helen Gurdy Brown to change all of that.
Miss Wise was hot. One day she was rummaging through her pocketbook, and I could see a pack of cigarettes. Disillusioned was I that my girl friend smoked. How could she do that to me. I never thought of her in the same vein, even tho' my crush lingered on until the end of the year.
I never saw her again, as we moved to another neighborhood the following year. Wonder if she's still alive? Or if she still smokes? Or if she's hooked-up to an iron lung? I doubt she is the stunning redhead she once was, because she's got to be in her late 60's.
I was hot for Miss Wise and hot for teacher. Apologies to Van Halen.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
"American Beauty"
Another bizarre film. Saw it in its entirety tonight. For the first time. And two great songs in the soundtrack. Another peek at Americana.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
"How Did You Get Poop On Your Lemon?"
My friend, the hootster, left an interesting tidbit on his blog yesterday. ( see title of this foray! )
Seems the lemons you receive with water/tea in a restaurant have all kinds of diseases on them. Fecal matter, viruses, et al. And you, the idiot, er, discerning customers are unaware of what goes on behind the scenes in the kitchens.
I used to require the staff to wash 30-40 lbs. of lemons ( 166 count for the uninitiated ) in a big dishpan before cutting back in the day. But, as in most places, the team members would rather cut 'em straight from the box. Too much trouble and all that.
At the airport the staff would slice the tomatoes from the box, as well. Ooer!! What a crock of shit.
I recall, too, when the news media of Atlanta tested the tea urn containers at various restaurants, fast food emporiums, et al. And found fecal matter and bacterias throughout. Yummy, eh?
So you discerning eat-out customers, I have one bit of advice for you. Caveat emptor.
Tea for two, v.c.
P.S. The place where I currently reside/work has iced tea. I wouldn't drink it for all the, er, tea in China. Why? We never clean the spigots on a regular basis. Talk about ooey-gooey. Apologies to Officer Don from the "Popeye Club." Circa my own childhood.
Seems the lemons you receive with water/tea in a restaurant have all kinds of diseases on them. Fecal matter, viruses, et al. And you, the idiot, er, discerning customers are unaware of what goes on behind the scenes in the kitchens.
I used to require the staff to wash 30-40 lbs. of lemons ( 166 count for the uninitiated ) in a big dishpan before cutting back in the day. But, as in most places, the team members would rather cut 'em straight from the box. Too much trouble and all that.
At the airport the staff would slice the tomatoes from the box, as well. Ooer!! What a crock of shit.
I recall, too, when the news media of Atlanta tested the tea urn containers at various restaurants, fast food emporiums, et al. And found fecal matter and bacterias throughout. Yummy, eh?
So you discerning eat-out customers, I have one bit of advice for you. Caveat emptor.
Tea for two, v.c.
P.S. The place where I currently reside/work has iced tea. I wouldn't drink it for all the, er, tea in China. Why? We never clean the spigots on a regular basis. Talk about ooey-gooey. Apologies to Officer Don from the "Popeye Club." Circa my own childhood.
Friday, March 07, 2008
"Magnolia"
That was some bizarre movie I watched last night. Kept me up until the wee hours of the morning it did. The damn thing lasted a little over 3 hrs. All star cast. Tom Cruise; and the others-not my area of knowledge ( late 90's )-and I don't want to "google" it to find out.
The review ( vast wasteland ) claimed it was Altmanesque, and I guess it was. He of "Mash" and "Nashville" fame among others. I remember seeing the former "bitd" and thought it was great. Had never seen anything like it. "Spearchucker" Jones et al. Smoking marijuana on the bench et al.
And "Nashville" is a great movie. Seeing is believing. Altmanesque, eh?
"Magnolia" is good, too. Dsyfunctional denizens of the world is its theme. And Tom Cruise won an Academy Award as Best Supporting Actor. He played a svengali whose message was simple: get the bush. And he didn't beat around the bush extolling the message. He didn't mince words, either. Quite a role departure for Mr. Cruise.
The raining-down of frogs on L.A.-not lower Alabama-was a bizarre ending and was well, er, Altmanesque.
The beginning theme song was "one" I hadn't heard in years. My liberal sister had a fancy for it, as well, many moons ago. The song is not from the originators, but some 90's chick, so, of course, I don't have a clue as to who sang it. ( once again, the late 90's is not included in my expertise. )
Good movie if you have 3 hours of your precious life to kill.
The clock on the proverbial wall says it's time to go bye-bye, v.c., so I will bid farewell and adieu to another day. Apology to Paul Mac.
One is the loneliest # indeed, v.c.
p.s. Watching the montage I do remember Jason Robards and Melinda Dillon, but I can't recall Ricky Bobbitt's friend's name, nor the geeky guy who is a good actor and who starred in "Jurassic Park 3." With Tea Leoni, who is a good-looking woman. She stars in one of me favorite flicks, "Family Man" with Nicolas Coppola, er, Cage. Nor the name of the actor who won an A.A. for his portrayal of "Capote."
The review ( vast wasteland ) claimed it was Altmanesque, and I guess it was. He of "Mash" and "Nashville" fame among others. I remember seeing the former "bitd" and thought it was great. Had never seen anything like it. "Spearchucker" Jones et al. Smoking marijuana on the bench et al.
And "Nashville" is a great movie. Seeing is believing. Altmanesque, eh?
"Magnolia" is good, too. Dsyfunctional denizens of the world is its theme. And Tom Cruise won an Academy Award as Best Supporting Actor. He played a svengali whose message was simple: get the bush. And he didn't beat around the bush extolling the message. He didn't mince words, either. Quite a role departure for Mr. Cruise.
The raining-down of frogs on L.A.-not lower Alabama-was a bizarre ending and was well, er, Altmanesque.
The beginning theme song was "one" I hadn't heard in years. My liberal sister had a fancy for it, as well, many moons ago. The song is not from the originators, but some 90's chick, so, of course, I don't have a clue as to who sang it. ( once again, the late 90's is not included in my expertise. )
Good movie if you have 3 hours of your precious life to kill.
The clock on the proverbial wall says it's time to go bye-bye, v.c., so I will bid farewell and adieu to another day. Apology to Paul Mac.
One is the loneliest # indeed, v.c.
p.s. Watching the montage I do remember Jason Robards and Melinda Dillon, but I can't recall Ricky Bobbitt's friend's name, nor the geeky guy who is a good actor and who starred in "Jurassic Park 3." With Tea Leoni, who is a good-looking woman. She stars in one of me favorite flicks, "Family Man" with Nicolas Coppola, er, Cage. Nor the name of the actor who won an A.A. for his portrayal of "Capote."
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
"Prisoner"
I'm a movie buff. Duh! Tonite's hi-lighted song is from the 70's, and it features the singing of one, Babs Streisand. Yeah, that one. The liberal touchy-feely one.
The movie from whence the song came is "The Eyes of Laura Mars." Co-starred Al Gore's roommate, one Tommy Lee Jones. He plays a deranged detective who is committing the murders. And the femme fatale lead is played not by Babs but by Faye Dunaway, she of the "Mommy Dearest" role which ruined/devestated her career.
Here's the song:
No wire hangers, v.c.
The movie from whence the song came is "The Eyes of Laura Mars." Co-starred Al Gore's roommate, one Tommy Lee Jones. He plays a deranged detective who is committing the murders. And the femme fatale lead is played not by Babs but by Faye Dunaway, she of the "Mommy Dearest" role which ruined/devestated her career.
Here's the song:
No wire hangers, v.c.
"Faster Than A Speeding Bullet"
I tuned into Hootsbuddy's Place and saw an amazing vocal from a youngster singing "Imagine." The three reviewers-even Simon, who happens to be the highest-paid person on the vast wasteland-gave him excellent reviews.
Of course, I have an affinity for anything from and by the Fab 4. Separate and/or together. I am going immediately to youtube to watch the original-white piano et al.
My friend, Neal Boortz, hates the song, because it's message is socialistic. Oh, well. Can't win 'em all.
At least the kid didn't sing "Gimme Some Truth," another tune from John. Here are some of the, er, lyrics:
Im sick and tired of hearing things
From uptight, short-sighted, narrow-minded hypocritics
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth
Ive had enough of reading things
By neurotic, psychotic, pig-headed politicians
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth
Without further adieu:
P.S. Sometimes "I feel like going down!" or "sometimes it's hard to get hard."
Of course, I have an affinity for anything from and by the Fab 4. Separate and/or together. I am going immediately to youtube to watch the original-white piano et al.
My friend, Neal Boortz, hates the song, because it's message is socialistic. Oh, well. Can't win 'em all.
At least the kid didn't sing "Gimme Some Truth," another tune from John. Here are some of the, er, lyrics:
Im sick and tired of hearing things
From uptight, short-sighted, narrow-minded hypocritics
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth
Ive had enough of reading things
By neurotic, psychotic, pig-headed politicians
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth
Without further adieu:
P.S. Sometimes "I feel like going down!" or "sometimes it's hard to get hard."
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
"This Is Funny!"
There are some of us who live to send emails to others. I received this one a few days ago. Most of the time when someone says, "this is funny," it ain't funny.
But this one is hilarious. Ms. Teen South Carolina is Albert Einstein compared to this poor creature.
From "Are You Smarter Than a 3rd Grader!"
But this one is hilarious. Ms. Teen South Carolina is Albert Einstein compared to this poor creature.
From "Are You Smarter Than a 3rd Grader!"
Saturday, March 01, 2008
"Blistering"
The following foray is not about sunburn. I was gonna say apologies to Farrah Fawcett, er, Majors, er, O'Neal, but it would be too obscure a reference. So forget the apology.
Apologies are big these days. Make a comment that's deemed offensive where you stick your foot in your mouth, and you will soon be making an apology.
"I didn't mean to call him [ a racial slur. }"
"I thought tomato was spelled with an e on the backside of it."
"I'm sorry the poor guy was tasered, while I stood by in a futile trance."
But we have run amok in our tale. Tonight's foray into the infantile concerns a blistering flute riff from "Traffic." And, yes, the tune is from-where else but back in the day.
Sunburn is soon around the corner. Methinks I am finally tiring of the cold weather. Spring is a rebirth, eh?
All's fair in love and war, v.c.
Apologies are big these days. Make a comment that's deemed offensive where you stick your foot in your mouth, and you will soon be making an apology.
"I didn't mean to call him [ a racial slur. }"
"I thought tomato was spelled with an e on the backside of it."
"I'm sorry the poor guy was tasered, while I stood by in a futile trance."
But we have run amok in our tale. Tonight's foray into the infantile concerns a blistering flute riff from "Traffic." And, yes, the tune is from-where else but back in the day.
Sunburn is soon around the corner. Methinks I am finally tiring of the cold weather. Spring is a rebirth, eh?
All's fair in love and war, v.c.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
"The Most Beautiful Girl In the World"
I am not much of a country-western fan, but this is a good song from back in the day. I heard it today on "Legend" radio, here in Hotlanta town. And it deserves a spot on my l'il old blog, aka Golden Pond.
It's not really hot here; it's been kinda cool-even snowed a little bit yesterday. More cold weather might alarm the global warmist theorists. It has definitely been a colder winter than what we've had in the last few years. Cyclical, eh? Here's hoping from yours truly that we will see a blizzard before Spring. Shut r down-the naked city that is.
However, that may alarm the population-explosion theorists of this world. Because when it is cold, then, surely, couples will snuggle with the inevitable result.
Snuggle sounds like a good idea to me, v.c.
P.S. The old clock on the wall says it's time to turn out the lights; the party's over. And more snugglin'.
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It's not really hot here; it's been kinda cool-even snowed a little bit yesterday. More cold weather might alarm the global warmist theorists. It has definitely been a colder winter than what we've had in the last few years. Cyclical, eh? Here's hoping from yours truly that we will see a blizzard before Spring. Shut r down-the naked city that is.
However, that may alarm the population-explosion theorists of this world. Because when it is cold, then, surely, couples will snuggle with the inevitable result.
Snuggle sounds like a good idea to me, v.c.
P.S. The old clock on the wall says it's time to turn out the lights; the party's over. And more snugglin'.
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"Research"
While doing my research for the infamous "Phi Zappa Krappa" photo, I did my obligatory google search and was surprised to find a familiar picture. I am enclosing it here.
P.S. The reader must scroll down the page to see it.
P.S. The reader must scroll down the page to see it.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
"Toast of the Town" or "Really Big Show"
Back in the day the "Toast of the Town" aka "The Ed Sullivan Show" was one of the hottest programs on the vast wasteland aka television. If Ed wanted you, then you were a hot act
There was Elvis, the Doors, the Rolling Stones, et al. Even the Vanilla Fudge. And let's not forget the Supremes, the Temptations, et al.
Here's Johnny, er, Ed introducing one of the biggest acts in history. Duh! Can you guess who it might be?
P.S. Here's another one from the show. Seems the "Doors" were told to change the lyric "girl, we can't get much higher" 15 minutes before air time.
There was Elvis, the Doors, the Rolling Stones, et al. Even the Vanilla Fudge. And let's not forget the Supremes, the Temptations, et al.
Here's Johnny, er, Ed introducing one of the biggest acts in history. Duh! Can you guess who it might be?
P.S. Here's another one from the show. Seems the "Doors" were told to change the lyric "girl, we can't get much higher" 15 minutes before air time.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
"Cheese and Onions-'Do I Have To Spell It Out'"
Ok, I will. C.h.e.e.s.e.a.n.d.o.n.i.o.n.s. Oh, no.
P.S. I used to say "cheese and crackers" in place of the many expletives at one's disposal. Especially in the workplace. Used to make the staff laugh.
P.S. I used to say "cheese and crackers" in place of the many expletives at one's disposal. Especially in the workplace. Used to make the staff laugh.
"TCM"
My favorite channel, TCM, is once again featuring "31 Days of Oscar." Movies shown during this period have won or were nominated for the grand prize....of Oscar.
"Raging Bull" just concluded. I have seen it only once. And that was at the Bijou back in the day. Circa 1980, methinks. And only a person like myself-mesmerized with pop cvulture-would even know the date. But that's how my mind works, and there ain't nothing I can do about it.
"Raging Bull" was directed by Martin Scorcese. < sp > One of the top films of all time as verified by most critics. But it's an ultra dark look at the human condition. Even tho' filmed in black/white, if I want to view a seamy side of life, I can turn on the local news or Court TV.
"Breaker Morant" just took its place. And 1980 or so sounds about right for this cinematic foray. I enjoyed it back then, but the last time I tried to watch-on TCM-of course, I couldn't get into it.
Anyway, there's the usual slate of great to good movies. Here's to Ted Turner, who was a man of great vision.
All quiet on the western front, v.c.
"Raging Bull" just concluded. I have seen it only once. And that was at the Bijou back in the day. Circa 1980, methinks. And only a person like myself-mesmerized with pop cvulture-would even know the date. But that's how my mind works, and there ain't nothing I can do about it.
"Raging Bull" was directed by Martin Scorcese. < sp > One of the top films of all time as verified by most critics. But it's an ultra dark look at the human condition. Even tho' filmed in black/white, if I want to view a seamy side of life, I can turn on the local news or Court TV.
"Breaker Morant" just took its place. And 1980 or so sounds about right for this cinematic foray. I enjoyed it back then, but the last time I tried to watch-on TCM-of course, I couldn't get into it.
Anyway, there's the usual slate of great to good movies. Here's to Ted Turner, who was a man of great vision.
All quiet on the western front, v.c.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
"Tragical History Tour" or "I Did It 'My Way.'"
The picture that adorns Golden Pond is not an effort from the Fab 4 but is a parody from "The Rutles." One song of note on the "Tragical History Tour" is "Your Mother Should Go!" Anyone who has had their mother-in-law live with them for any period of time can relate.
Speaking of time, this effort is to let everyone know the catfish is still a'ticking allah Timex. And whatever happened to John Cameron Swayze? Not to be confused with Patrick Swayze, he of "Dirty Dancin'" fame.
Life is a cabaret, ol' chum, v.c.
P.S. Another good song from T.H.T. is "Hello, Get Lost." My last few job efforts have been similarly inclined.
P.S.S. I did it my way....unfortunately.
Speaking of time, this effort is to let everyone know the catfish is still a'ticking allah Timex. And whatever happened to John Cameron Swayze? Not to be confused with Patrick Swayze, he of "Dirty Dancin'" fame.
Life is a cabaret, ol' chum, v.c.
P.S. Another good song from T.H.T. is "Hello, Get Lost." My last few job efforts have been similarly inclined.
P.S.S. I did it my way....unfortunately.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
"Losing My Religion"
Life is bigger
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up
P.S. Amen!
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up
P.S. Amen!
Sunday, February 17, 2008
"Sad News"
Roy Scheider passed away yesterday. He was 75. And one of the stars of "Jaws" my fav flick of all time. Forget "Citizen Kane"; "GWTH"; "Da Godfather"; et al. Why? The dialogue; the characterizations; the director, one Steven Spielberg; the setting; Bruce, da shark; et al.
For those of you who don't know, he played Sheriff Brody. He of the "we gotta get a bigger boat"; "why don't you [ Capt'n Quint ] let Hooper sling some of this shit [ chum ]; et al.
I have watched it at least a hundred times, cos my two sons dug it, too. And, of course, we bought the tape and later the dvd. Must be in the DNA, eh? But they never liked Perry Mason so perhaps they belong to the postman; milkman; cable provider; et al.
We all have to leave this old world at some point. Which reminds me I had a dream last nite where I was sitting at a piano with none other than George Harrison. I couldn't believe I was sitting with a member of the Fabulous 4. I didn't know what to say, but I did tell him my favorite song of his was "While My Guitar Gently Weeps."
But as most dreams go awry-just when they're getting good-so did this one. Dammit. And I either woke up or shifted into another sequence. Double dammit.
Back to Roy. I was looking for a flick to watch this past week on Comcast ( free movies ) and decided on "Blue Thunder." An old one from the early 80's. It just so happens that Mr. Scheider was the star. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Apologies to Arsenio Hall.
Make of it what you may. But there seems to be a force working within and perhaps without yours truly. Only time william tell, er, will tell.
It's late-gotta go; farewell and adieu; adios; au revoir; et al.
Dream a little dream of me, v.c.
P.S. Jaws was Steven Spielberg's first major motion picture. And could have been his last. Overbudget; Bruce, the shark didn't work all the time; and Steven was worried about the public's acceptance of such a film; et al. Interesting history behind it. It was also the first flick to gross over 100 million dollars. Ka-ching.
For those of you who don't know, he played Sheriff Brody. He of the "we gotta get a bigger boat"; "why don't you [ Capt'n Quint ] let Hooper sling some of this shit [ chum ]; et al.
I have watched it at least a hundred times, cos my two sons dug it, too. And, of course, we bought the tape and later the dvd. Must be in the DNA, eh? But they never liked Perry Mason so perhaps they belong to the postman; milkman; cable provider; et al.
We all have to leave this old world at some point. Which reminds me I had a dream last nite where I was sitting at a piano with none other than George Harrison. I couldn't believe I was sitting with a member of the Fabulous 4. I didn't know what to say, but I did tell him my favorite song of his was "While My Guitar Gently Weeps."
But as most dreams go awry-just when they're getting good-so did this one. Dammit. And I either woke up or shifted into another sequence. Double dammit.
Back to Roy. I was looking for a flick to watch this past week on Comcast ( free movies ) and decided on "Blue Thunder." An old one from the early 80's. It just so happens that Mr. Scheider was the star. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Apologies to Arsenio Hall.
Make of it what you may. But there seems to be a force working within and perhaps without yours truly. Only time william tell, er, will tell.
It's late-gotta go; farewell and adieu; adios; au revoir; et al.
Dream a little dream of me, v.c.
P.S. Jaws was Steven Spielberg's first major motion picture. And could have been his last. Overbudget; Bruce, the shark didn't work all the time; and Steven was worried about the public's acceptance of such a film; et al. Interesting history behind it. It was also the first flick to gross over 100 million dollars. Ka-ching.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
"Clockwork Orange"
I have never seen the whole movie. Just bits and pieces. I must admit to watching the much ballyhooed rape scenes. Just happened to be "clicking away" whilst perusing the many channels available via the vast wasteland, aka television.
Clockwork Orange is one of those artsy-fartsy movies, and Stanley Kubrick has made many of 'em. A Space Odyssey comes to mind. I saw that one in '70 or back in the day and remember walking out of the theatre wondering what the f***! I liked the parts with "Hal," the mutinous robot. But they lost me with the gorillas throwing the bones into the air; and the embryonic baby at the end; and all of the other weird stuff.
I tried to make sense of it all, but it was way over me head. I require the basic premise: aliens arrive on Earth from outer space and wreak havoc, until a team of scientists finds the outer spacemen's Achilles heel.
The dialogue is always the same:
"The aliens are smarter than us! Hopefully, they are a peaceful lot."
"We must get to know and understand them."
"Like we have understood each other on Earth?"
"Oh, my God. They are wreaking havoc."
"Don't worry. We have the best minds ( team of scientists ) on the job."
"Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
"I am Doctor Robert, and I have conceived an Achilles Heel plan to eradicate the aliens."
"That was brilliance. Thank you team of scientists. You have saved our world. Mankind is once again in control of his, er, destiny.."
"Until the sequel!"
"The End!"
Happy Valentine's Day, v.c.
Clockwork Orange is one of those artsy-fartsy movies, and Stanley Kubrick has made many of 'em. A Space Odyssey comes to mind. I saw that one in '70 or back in the day and remember walking out of the theatre wondering what the f***! I liked the parts with "Hal," the mutinous robot. But they lost me with the gorillas throwing the bones into the air; and the embryonic baby at the end; and all of the other weird stuff.
I tried to make sense of it all, but it was way over me head. I require the basic premise: aliens arrive on Earth from outer space and wreak havoc, until a team of scientists finds the outer spacemen's Achilles heel.
The dialogue is always the same:
"The aliens are smarter than us! Hopefully, they are a peaceful lot."
"We must get to know and understand them."
"Like we have understood each other on Earth?"
"Oh, my God. They are wreaking havoc."
"Don't worry. We have the best minds ( team of scientists ) on the job."
"Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
"I am Doctor Robert, and I have conceived an Achilles Heel plan to eradicate the aliens."
"That was brilliance. Thank you team of scientists. You have saved our world. Mankind is once again in control of his, er, destiny.."
"Until the sequel!"
"The End!"
Happy Valentine's Day, v.c.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
"Opus 17" and "American Bandstand"
Dick Clark was besmirched in "Bowling for Columbine," Michael Moore's, er, opus from a few years ago. Mr. Moore tried to have an impromptu interview with Dick asking why he paid minimum wage to the "Dick Clark Eatery" ( something like that ) staff, who were serving "rich people" and having a hard time making ends meet. Dick doesn't answer the question and zooms off in his limo.
But when I was a kid, Dick was the cat's meow. My sis was on the show when it was broadcast live from Philadelphia, where it originated. Soon thereafter the show moved to-where else-Hollywood.
While looking at youtube videos late last night, I stumbled upon this song from the 4 Seasons. And listened to others by them, as well. "Ronnie" brought back a lot of childhood memories. The ones that I hadn't thought of in many moons.
Perhaps there's a foray there. But because of the hour, it will have to wait.
Once again, parting is such sweet sorrow, v.c.
But when I was a kid, Dick was the cat's meow. My sis was on the show when it was broadcast live from Philadelphia, where it originated. Soon thereafter the show moved to-where else-Hollywood.
While looking at youtube videos late last night, I stumbled upon this song from the 4 Seasons. And listened to others by them, as well. "Ronnie" brought back a lot of childhood memories. The ones that I hadn't thought of in many moons.
Perhaps there's a foray there. But because of the hour, it will have to wait.
Once again, parting is such sweet sorrow, v.c.
"The World According to v.c."
Dear Cat: I have read your column for years and have noticed your affinity for believing "the world has gone mad." What evidence purports your claim? And do you believe the only sane people are those housed in asylums?
Signed: Purporting to be one who flew over the cuckoo's nest.
Dear Cuckoo: First let me applaud your choice of words: purport. Not many denizens of this world ( or any other, for that matter ) would use purport in everyday conversation. Especially using it in a query to a lovelorn column, such as this one.
But for evidence that you deem necessary, just click on the link: grills by Paul Wall. I report; you purport. Thanks for the query!
Dear Cat: Will you consider voting for Hillary Clinton as our next President of these United States? If not, would you ever vote for a woman?
Signed: China Girl
Dear China Girl: Just you shut your mouth! Apologies to David Bowie. I would NEVER vote for Hillary. And I would NEVER vote for a woman. Why? Women are either too hot or too cold. They all suffer from inferiority complexes, i.e. does this dress make my butt look too big? ( the only answer is "no, darling." ) Women whine incessantly. And they become mean-spirited and highly opinionated as they get older. My thesis is purportedly politically incorrect. But I calls 'em as I sees 'em.
Dear Cat: I see where Paul McCartney and Heather Mills are going to court. To dissolve their marriage. Some say she will receive at least 50 million to untie the knot. Poor Heather has been villified by the press, and not since John began dating Yoko Ono has there been so much hate directed towards one woman, Hillary notwithstanding. Because you are a big fan of the Fab 4, what's your take on this delicate situation?
Signed: Love is a battlefield-apology to Pat Benatar.
Dear Love is all you need. See my answer to China Girl's query. Nuff said.
Dear Cat: What's tonite's video from youtube? I will go out on a limb and predict it to be a tune mentioned in tonite's lovelorn column? Am I right?
Signed: You will have no female readers after your latest foray concerning the opposite sex.
Dear Opposite Sex: Tell 'em what she won, Johnny. And if the prize happens to be a dress, mention nada about what it does for her posterior region. Here's Johnny, er, tonite's youtube video.
Signed: Purporting to be one who flew over the cuckoo's nest.
Dear Cuckoo: First let me applaud your choice of words: purport. Not many denizens of this world ( or any other, for that matter ) would use purport in everyday conversation. Especially using it in a query to a lovelorn column, such as this one.
But for evidence that you deem necessary, just click on the link: grills by Paul Wall. I report; you purport. Thanks for the query!
Dear Cat: Will you consider voting for Hillary Clinton as our next President of these United States? If not, would you ever vote for a woman?
Signed: China Girl
Dear China Girl: Just you shut your mouth! Apologies to David Bowie. I would NEVER vote for Hillary. And I would NEVER vote for a woman. Why? Women are either too hot or too cold. They all suffer from inferiority complexes, i.e. does this dress make my butt look too big? ( the only answer is "no, darling." ) Women whine incessantly. And they become mean-spirited and highly opinionated as they get older. My thesis is purportedly politically incorrect. But I calls 'em as I sees 'em.
Dear Cat: I see where Paul McCartney and Heather Mills are going to court. To dissolve their marriage. Some say she will receive at least 50 million to untie the knot. Poor Heather has been villified by the press, and not since John began dating Yoko Ono has there been so much hate directed towards one woman, Hillary notwithstanding. Because you are a big fan of the Fab 4, what's your take on this delicate situation?
Signed: Love is a battlefield-apology to Pat Benatar.
Dear Love is all you need. See my answer to China Girl's query. Nuff said.
Dear Cat: What's tonite's video from youtube? I will go out on a limb and predict it to be a tune mentioned in tonite's lovelorn column? Am I right?
Signed: You will have no female readers after your latest foray concerning the opposite sex.
Dear Opposite Sex: Tell 'em what she won, Johnny. And if the prize happens to be a dress, mention nada about what it does for her posterior region. Here's Johnny, er, tonite's youtube video.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
"A Hard Day's Night" or "More Cowbell ad Infinitum"
I love youtube. You should love youtube, and, Shirley, he, she, it loves youtube. My internet connection has recently resumed, thank gawd. And without further adieu, more cowbell, please.
P.S. The opening chord of tonite's song has always been under close scutiny. Look it up in your Funk and Wagnalls!
"A Hard Day's Night" is immediately identifiable before the vocals even begin, thanks to George Harrison's unmistakable Rickenbacker 360/12 12-string guitar's "mighty opening chord" [9]. According to George Martin, "We knew it would open both the film and the soundtrack LP, so we wanted a particularly strong and effective beginning. The strident guitar chord was the perfect launch"[7] having what Ian MacDonald calls "'a significance in Beatles lore matched only by the concluding E major of "A Day in the Life", the two opening and closing the group's middle period of peak creativity'"[10]. "That sound you just associate with those early 1960s Beatles records" [
P.S. The opening chord of tonite's song has always been under close scutiny. Look it up in your Funk and Wagnalls!
"A Hard Day's Night" is immediately identifiable before the vocals even begin, thanks to George Harrison's unmistakable Rickenbacker 360/12 12-string guitar's "mighty opening chord" [9]. According to George Martin, "We knew it would open both the film and the soundtrack LP, so we wanted a particularly strong and effective beginning. The strident guitar chord was the perfect launch"[7] having what Ian MacDonald calls "'a significance in Beatles lore matched only by the concluding E major of "A Day in the Life", the two opening and closing the group's middle period of peak creativity'"[10]. "That sound you just associate with those early 1960s Beatles records" [
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
"The White Buffalo"
I don't have to work tomorrow until 5 p.m. eastern standard time. So I have time to indulge my hobby by writing a few blurbs on the world according to one v.c., yours truly. I am being slowed-once again-by this thing called a keyboard. Whose letters stick, "r", "d", and "e" being the main culprits. Where's the wd 40 when you really need it?
As some of you know, I am a movie buff. And whilst traversing over 100 channels on my t.v. I ain't found nothing of interest.
I am trying "The WHite Buffalo" with Charles Bronson, he of "Death Wish" fame, which was parlayed into 5 installments. Buffalo has C.B. as Wild Bill Hickok, who is in pursuit of a crazed albino bison of his nightmares.
Then there was "They Live." A film from John Carpenter, he of "Halloween" fame. This one stars Rowdy Roddy Piper, he of wrestling fame in the WWE. The movie starts out slow, too slow even for me.
Buffalo co-stars Clint Walker-he just arrived on the scene-he of Cheyenne Brodie fame.
During the 50's and early 60's westerns were the rage. There was Bonanza, the Rifeleman, Wanted Dead or Alive, Wagon Train, Sugarfoot, Bronco, ad nauseum. The chic latter 60's pushed the genre into oblivion. No longer was it cool for the white man to kill the Indians. Because we soon learned the white man did in fact speak with forked tongue.
One of my favorite movies as a kid was an Indians-Cowboys movie in which the Indians were the good guys. Starred Sal Mineo-of all people-as an Injun whose horse was Tonka
Lane. Great movie for me as a youngster. Sal was probably from Brooklyn or the Bronx, so go figure. Leave it to Walt Disney to make this incongrous fantasy come true.
I looked for "High Stakes Poker" on the Game Show Channel, but it ain't on tonite. Speaking of incongrous, the host is Gabe Kaplan, he of "Welcome Back, Kotter" fame. Who now proclaims himself as a professional gambler.
To get in the game, you have to buy in at a minimum of $100,000. Small fortunes are won and lost on every hand. Now that's entertainment. And makes me want to head to Vegas and get in on the action. I don't have the necessary requirements, unfortunately. No guts, no glory.
Bruce Lee's final foray into karate and jiu jitsu and mayhem was on earlier, but I forgot it was on. "Casablanca" starts at 1:00-the ultimate chick flick-so these eyes may watch again. "The problems of three people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world." Exactly! And as we all know-well, those of us in the know know-Rick never said "Play It Again, Sam!" Why? Because he loathed the song. It was he and Ilsa's "song." And she ditched him in Paris, never to return until that fateful day in Casablanca.
It's a damn shame with all of the channels on my vast wasteland of a television set, there's nothing to watch but C.B. chasing an albino; and Rowdy Roddy Piper trying to become the next Brando. Where's something to watch: like "The Thing" ( from outer space ); "Invasion of the Body Snatchers"; "I Married an Alien From Outer Space"; and/or "Alien."
"I Married An Alien" starred the enigmatic Tom Tryon as the alien. He was also a cowboy in a series that escapes me at the moment. And he also wrote "The Other," a macabre thriller which was-what else?-turned into a movie.
Well, the old clock on the wall says it's time to conclude tonite's foray. I could go on and on. Which makes parting such sweet sorrow. Apologies to the Bard!
Selah, v.c.
P.S. I guess I could be watching the election returns? Nah!
As some of you know, I am a movie buff. And whilst traversing over 100 channels on my t.v. I ain't found nothing of interest.
I am trying "The WHite Buffalo" with Charles Bronson, he of "Death Wish" fame, which was parlayed into 5 installments. Buffalo has C.B. as Wild Bill Hickok, who is in pursuit of a crazed albino bison of his nightmares.
Then there was "They Live." A film from John Carpenter, he of "Halloween" fame. This one stars Rowdy Roddy Piper, he of wrestling fame in the WWE. The movie starts out slow, too slow even for me.
Buffalo co-stars Clint Walker-he just arrived on the scene-he of Cheyenne Brodie fame.
During the 50's and early 60's westerns were the rage. There was Bonanza, the Rifeleman, Wanted Dead or Alive, Wagon Train, Sugarfoot, Bronco, ad nauseum. The chic latter 60's pushed the genre into oblivion. No longer was it cool for the white man to kill the Indians. Because we soon learned the white man did in fact speak with forked tongue.
One of my favorite movies as a kid was an Indians-Cowboys movie in which the Indians were the good guys. Starred Sal Mineo-of all people-as an Injun whose horse was Tonka
Lane. Great movie for me as a youngster. Sal was probably from Brooklyn or the Bronx, so go figure. Leave it to Walt Disney to make this incongrous fantasy come true.
I looked for "High Stakes Poker" on the Game Show Channel, but it ain't on tonite. Speaking of incongrous, the host is Gabe Kaplan, he of "Welcome Back, Kotter" fame. Who now proclaims himself as a professional gambler.
To get in the game, you have to buy in at a minimum of $100,000. Small fortunes are won and lost on every hand. Now that's entertainment. And makes me want to head to Vegas and get in on the action. I don't have the necessary requirements, unfortunately. No guts, no glory.
Bruce Lee's final foray into karate and jiu jitsu and mayhem was on earlier, but I forgot it was on. "Casablanca" starts at 1:00-the ultimate chick flick-so these eyes may watch again. "The problems of three people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world." Exactly! And as we all know-well, those of us in the know know-Rick never said "Play It Again, Sam!" Why? Because he loathed the song. It was he and Ilsa's "song." And she ditched him in Paris, never to return until that fateful day in Casablanca.
It's a damn shame with all of the channels on my vast wasteland of a television set, there's nothing to watch but C.B. chasing an albino; and Rowdy Roddy Piper trying to become the next Brando. Where's something to watch: like "The Thing" ( from outer space ); "Invasion of the Body Snatchers"; "I Married an Alien From Outer Space"; and/or "Alien."
"I Married An Alien" starred the enigmatic Tom Tryon as the alien. He was also a cowboy in a series that escapes me at the moment. And he also wrote "The Other," a macabre thriller which was-what else?-turned into a movie.
Well, the old clock on the wall says it's time to conclude tonite's foray. I could go on and on. Which makes parting such sweet sorrow. Apologies to the Bard!
Selah, v.c.
P.S. I guess I could be watching the election returns? Nah!
Sunday, February 03, 2008
"Super Bowl Sunday"
Super Bowl Sunday has arrived and now is gone. What a game! As Eli Manning and Tom Coughlin and the rest of the G Men put an end to New England's hopes of completeing a perfect season.
Bill Bellicek, the Patriots coach, was so devestated at losing that he left the field with one second left on the clock. Methinks the media will roast him. Even tho' the game appeared to be over after the last ditch "hail Mary" pass that went awry, the Officials said there was one second left on the clock. The captain of the ship is supposed to go down with the ship.
After shooing the photographers and fans and the rest of the clutter back to the sidelines, Eli made it a game when he kneeled down. Game over. Accolades to follow.
Some are already calling it the greatest game in NFL history. And Eli and Tom now have that huge monkey off their backs. Good for them. A person can only stand so much negativity.
I celebrated the win by broiling a ribeye. Add baked potato. And salad. And voila. There it is.
Post Super Bowl on the Fox Network, "House" is attemting to save a female doctor's life. Via webcam. Because the damsel in distress is living in Antarctica. Stay tuned.
Well, the hoopla is over for another year. Me and the rest of the football fanatics out there will have to wait until August to get our fix again. The good news: March Madness is right around the corner; the NBA Finals begin in April and don't end until late June; and baseball will begin ( sort of ) at the end of the month.
I didn't mention the NHL Playoffs; NASCAR; and golf and tennis and tiddlywinks; because I don't give a rat's tush about any of them. Watching cars go around a circular track; guys putting from the greens; and icy playing surfaces leave me limp interest-wise. Sorry Tiger, Fireball Roberts, and Bobby Orr. The latter two names from the 60's. I honestly don't know any of today's NASCAR drivers or hockey players.
Super Bowl Sunday lived up to the hype. And the commercials were interesting and fun. My favorite was Will Farrell for Bud Light.
Withdrawal time, v.c.
P.S. My sis is now on the Obama bandwagon. She even wants me to read his new book. Huh? I could see me recommending a book for her to read. Result?: Negative! Ah, liberalism. Can't live with 'em; can't live.... er, without 'em?
P.S.S. I did know Wayne Gretsky but he retired many moons ago. Eh?
Bill Bellicek, the Patriots coach, was so devestated at losing that he left the field with one second left on the clock. Methinks the media will roast him. Even tho' the game appeared to be over after the last ditch "hail Mary" pass that went awry, the Officials said there was one second left on the clock. The captain of the ship is supposed to go down with the ship.
After shooing the photographers and fans and the rest of the clutter back to the sidelines, Eli made it a game when he kneeled down. Game over. Accolades to follow.
Some are already calling it the greatest game in NFL history. And Eli and Tom now have that huge monkey off their backs. Good for them. A person can only stand so much negativity.
I celebrated the win by broiling a ribeye. Add baked potato. And salad. And voila. There it is.
Post Super Bowl on the Fox Network, "House" is attemting to save a female doctor's life. Via webcam. Because the damsel in distress is living in Antarctica. Stay tuned.
Well, the hoopla is over for another year. Me and the rest of the football fanatics out there will have to wait until August to get our fix again. The good news: March Madness is right around the corner; the NBA Finals begin in April and don't end until late June; and baseball will begin ( sort of ) at the end of the month.
I didn't mention the NHL Playoffs; NASCAR; and golf and tennis and tiddlywinks; because I don't give a rat's tush about any of them. Watching cars go around a circular track; guys putting from the greens; and icy playing surfaces leave me limp interest-wise. Sorry Tiger, Fireball Roberts, and Bobby Orr. The latter two names from the 60's. I honestly don't know any of today's NASCAR drivers or hockey players.
Super Bowl Sunday lived up to the hype. And the commercials were interesting and fun. My favorite was Will Farrell for Bud Light.
Withdrawal time, v.c.
P.S. My sis is now on the Obama bandwagon. She even wants me to read his new book. Huh? I could see me recommending a book for her to read. Result?: Negative! Ah, liberalism. Can't live with 'em; can't live.... er, without 'em?
P.S.S. I did know Wayne Gretsky but he retired many moons ago. Eh?
Saturday, February 02, 2008
"Across the Universe"
"Send my love to the aliens," Paul McCartney told Nasa through a Beatles historian. "All the best, Paul."
Seems a Fab 4 tune is being sent across the galaxy to Polaris, the North Star.
Is Nasa sending a Rolling Stones tune? Nah!
Is Nasa sending a Bob Zimmerman, er, Dylan melody like a rolling stone? Nah!
Michael Jackson? Definitely would be a thrilla, but Nah!
Billy Ray Cyrus? Ditto!
Ice Tea?; Snoop Dog? Brittney Spears? Not sure how to spell her name but Nah!
Elvis? A hunk a'hunk of burning love? Nah!
Frank Sinatra? Fly him to the moon, but across the universe. Not in my lifetime. Nah!
Frank Zappa? Huh? You know: Phi Zappa Krappa! Nah!
Jose Feliciano? Doors? Break on through to the other side! Nah!
Hendrix? Meatloaf? Spooky Tooth? Nah!
Shop Boyz? Huh? And the "boy band" with Justin Timberlake, et al? Can't recall their name. Double Nah.
Anyhoo, NASA picked the best. The article mentions the song was written by Lennon/McCartney, but it was all John. J'ai guru deva om.
P.S. Dear Cat takes a momentary hiatus. Or more aptly "the world according to v.c." is taking a break. Nothing's gonna change my world. ( see lyrics to the above song. )
Seems a Fab 4 tune is being sent across the galaxy to Polaris, the North Star.
Is Nasa sending a Rolling Stones tune? Nah!
Is Nasa sending a Bob Zimmerman, er, Dylan melody like a rolling stone? Nah!
Michael Jackson? Definitely would be a thrilla, but Nah!
Billy Ray Cyrus? Ditto!
Ice Tea?; Snoop Dog? Brittney Spears? Not sure how to spell her name but Nah!
Elvis? A hunk a'hunk of burning love? Nah!
Frank Sinatra? Fly him to the moon, but across the universe. Not in my lifetime. Nah!
Frank Zappa? Huh? You know: Phi Zappa Krappa! Nah!
Jose Feliciano? Doors? Break on through to the other side! Nah!
Hendrix? Meatloaf? Spooky Tooth? Nah!
Shop Boyz? Huh? And the "boy band" with Justin Timberlake, et al? Can't recall their name. Double Nah.
Anyhoo, NASA picked the best. The article mentions the song was written by Lennon/McCartney, but it was all John. J'ai guru deva om.
P.S. Dear Cat takes a momentary hiatus. Or more aptly "the world according to v.c." is taking a break. Nothing's gonna change my world. ( see lyrics to the above song. )
"Across the Universe Too" or "Beatles"
A new movie is soon to be released with the entire soundtrack from music by the lads from Liverpool. Will I go see it? Nah! Of course, there will be nothing to stop me excepting an early demise.
I have always enjoyed "cover versions" from other artists. Reportedly, "Yesterday" is the most "covered" recording of any in the history of popular music. And to think at first Paul was afraid he had stolen the tune. It's first working title was "Scrambled Eggs!"
I have always enjoyed "cover versions" from other artists. Reportedly, "Yesterday" is the most "covered" recording of any in the history of popular music. And to think at first Paul was afraid he had stolen the tune. It's first working title was "Scrambled Eggs!"
Thursday, January 31, 2008
"Dear Cat" "Advice to the Lovelorn
Dear Cat: Me and my old lady split after being together for many moons. I am now on my own-alone again, naturally ( apologies to Gilbert O'Sullivan. ) I am lost in this new world. When I was single "Jaws" was numero uno at the box office; John Travolta and the leisure suit craze had yet to make the scene. Gerald Ford was President and gasoline was 50 cents a gallon. Today, there's a computer-animated horror thriller at the top of the charts-apologies to Dick Clark and/or Casey Kasem; John Travolta is starring as a woman in drag, allah "Hairspray;" George Bush is leaving soon and the likely person to replace him is a woman or a man whose religious beliefs are in doubt; and gas is $3.00 per gallon. In summary, Lucy, What happened?
Signed: I Don't Want To Fade Away
Dear Not Fade Away: Thanks for the query. I have nothing to add, but good luck to you. Because....you will need it. The good news is you will survive, as long as you're not starring in NBC's "To Catch a Predator." Also, there's plenty of fish in the sea. So forget your depression and get out there and mingle. Another suggestion in case you're thinking of offing yourself: You could always write an advice to the lovelorn column, allah yours truly. It will take your mind off your troubles, albeit temporary until the meds kick in. Hope this helps.
Dear Cat: I recently saw "Snakes on a Plane" with Samuel L. Jackson. I thought it was a good show. Do you know if there will be a sequel?
Signed: Samuel L. Jackson Fan.
Dear Sam: He is a good actor. I liked him in "Jurassic Park"; "Pulp Fiction"; and "Shaft." A complicated man, but no one understands him but his woman. I am privy to news about a sequel to your aforementioned query. The working title is aptly entitled: "Drakes on a Plane." A mad scientist unleashes a bevy of ducks on a flight to London. His goal is to crash the plane in order to terminate a man who's turning state's evidence against a major Mafioso figure. It will be rated "R" for "Rowdy."
Dear Cat: I live here in Georgia. It's pouring down rain. Do you believe it's raining all over the world?
Signed: Raining All Over the World?
Dear Raining Down: Yes, it's coming down pretty hard in this l'il sleepy hamlet I call home. You know how people like to rain on your parade? I heard a man tonight say "we're still two inches down for the year." In answer to your query, yes, I believe it's raining all over the world. Apologies to Ray "What'd I Say" Charles.
Signed: I Don't Want To Fade Away
Dear Not Fade Away: Thanks for the query. I have nothing to add, but good luck to you. Because....you will need it. The good news is you will survive, as long as you're not starring in NBC's "To Catch a Predator." Also, there's plenty of fish in the sea. So forget your depression and get out there and mingle. Another suggestion in case you're thinking of offing yourself: You could always write an advice to the lovelorn column, allah yours truly. It will take your mind off your troubles, albeit temporary until the meds kick in. Hope this helps.
Dear Cat: I recently saw "Snakes on a Plane" with Samuel L. Jackson. I thought it was a good show. Do you know if there will be a sequel?
Signed: Samuel L. Jackson Fan.
Dear Sam: He is a good actor. I liked him in "Jurassic Park"; "Pulp Fiction"; and "Shaft." A complicated man, but no one understands him but his woman. I am privy to news about a sequel to your aforementioned query. The working title is aptly entitled: "Drakes on a Plane." A mad scientist unleashes a bevy of ducks on a flight to London. His goal is to crash the plane in order to terminate a man who's turning state's evidence against a major Mafioso figure. It will be rated "R" for "Rowdy."
Dear Cat: I live here in Georgia. It's pouring down rain. Do you believe it's raining all over the world?
Signed: Raining All Over the World?
Dear Raining Down: Yes, it's coming down pretty hard in this l'il sleepy hamlet I call home. You know how people like to rain on your parade? I heard a man tonight say "we're still two inches down for the year." In answer to your query, yes, I believe it's raining all over the world. Apologies to Ray "What'd I Say" Charles.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
"Dear Cat" Foray into the Infantile
Tonight's "Dear Cat" is inspired by an email I just received today from my old friend, Slippery.
Dear Cat: You may remember me. I played trombone in a band on the run. Back at Rowdy High. Your alma mater. I still play today and just finished laying down some vicious riffs. Look for my youtube video where I dazzle the world with Chicago's "Questions 67 and 68." Do you play an instrument?
Signed: Fancy Colours, aka Slippery
Dear Slippery: Yes, I play the trombone, too, and just finished a duet with the same song but stopped at "Question 69." Because it's 25 or 6 to 4, it's time for the answer to your query to end. Perhaps I will see you at the Rowdy High reunion this March.
P.S. And whatever happened to Donald Roberts, he of going to Harvard fame. As I mentioned in my personal email to you, the closest I ever got to Harvard was serving pickled beets via a well-known cafeteria chain.
P.S.S. And whatever happened to Edward Morris? He of the original funkadelic sound before George Thorogood adapted Edward's style. It's oil, er, all good.
Dear Cat: You turned me on to Chicago back in the days of 1969 when we matriculated at Truck U. Or was it Rowdy High? Thanks, dude, for the memories. Remember I played a mean air trombone and air cornet, especially on "Beginnings." Damn, time flies when your havin' fun. Do you remember me? We used to ride around campus in your white vw bug!
Signed: South California Purples!
Dear Mystery Challenger Enter and Sign in Please! Are you the dude who asked if there were any smokeable butts in the ash tray at Payne Hall? Just kidding. How could I forget. Cos you turned me on to smoking cigarettes; jaunts to the wrestling matches to see Butcher Vachon and Lou Thesz and Farmer Powell; and excursions to the downtown soft porn Central Theatre, where we ogled women's breasts via the cinema. How did we get in at 16, when the required age was 21. Must have been those Winstons in the red pack, eh? Thanks for the mammaries and the query. Are you attending the reunion?
Dear Cat: I once visited the Central Theatre. My feet stuck to the floor whilst traversing the aisles to my seat. Do you think it was diet coke that may have been spilled accidentally?
Signed: Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?
Dear What Time It Is: Methinks it wasn't diet coke, because it hadn't yet been invented. Perhaps it was a Birely's Orange or a Red Rock Cola or perhaps a Nehi grape? Who knows? But thanks again for the mammaries, er, memories. My favorie movie seen there was "The Lustful Turk." In glorious [ fancy ] colors, no doubt.
Dear Cat: You may remember me. I played trombone in a band on the run. Back at Rowdy High. Your alma mater. I still play today and just finished laying down some vicious riffs. Look for my youtube video where I dazzle the world with Chicago's "Questions 67 and 68." Do you play an instrument?
Signed: Fancy Colours, aka Slippery
Dear Slippery: Yes, I play the trombone, too, and just finished a duet with the same song but stopped at "Question 69." Because it's 25 or 6 to 4, it's time for the answer to your query to end. Perhaps I will see you at the Rowdy High reunion this March.
P.S. And whatever happened to Donald Roberts, he of going to Harvard fame. As I mentioned in my personal email to you, the closest I ever got to Harvard was serving pickled beets via a well-known cafeteria chain.
P.S.S. And whatever happened to Edward Morris? He of the original funkadelic sound before George Thorogood adapted Edward's style. It's oil, er, all good.
Dear Cat: You turned me on to Chicago back in the days of 1969 when we matriculated at Truck U. Or was it Rowdy High? Thanks, dude, for the memories. Remember I played a mean air trombone and air cornet, especially on "Beginnings." Damn, time flies when your havin' fun. Do you remember me? We used to ride around campus in your white vw bug!
Signed: South California Purples!
Dear Mystery Challenger Enter and Sign in Please! Are you the dude who asked if there were any smokeable butts in the ash tray at Payne Hall? Just kidding. How could I forget. Cos you turned me on to smoking cigarettes; jaunts to the wrestling matches to see Butcher Vachon and Lou Thesz and Farmer Powell; and excursions to the downtown soft porn Central Theatre, where we ogled women's breasts via the cinema. How did we get in at 16, when the required age was 21. Must have been those Winstons in the red pack, eh? Thanks for the mammaries and the query. Are you attending the reunion?
Dear Cat: I once visited the Central Theatre. My feet stuck to the floor whilst traversing the aisles to my seat. Do you think it was diet coke that may have been spilled accidentally?
Signed: Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?
Dear What Time It Is: Methinks it wasn't diet coke, because it hadn't yet been invented. Perhaps it was a Birely's Orange or a Red Rock Cola or perhaps a Nehi grape? Who knows? But thanks again for the mammaries, er, memories. My favorie movie seen there was "The Lustful Turk." In glorious [ fancy ] colors, no doubt.
Monday, January 28, 2008
"Reaction To Last Nite's Foray!"
Because last nite's column was a bit lewd-imagine someone, in this case, Jimmy Buffet of Margarita fame-writing a song entitled: "Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw?", tonite's foray will attempt to level the playing field by posting a sweet song from yesteryear. A 180, if you will.
Because Mr. P. [ Mr. Procrastinator ], yours truly, has completed his work assignment, time is avaiable to pen yet another post on Golden Pond. My favorite pasttime by the way, my own little fantasy world.
But....because I have to arise early in the a.m. [ 5 to be exact ] this foray will now cease and desist.
Life is like a beanstalk, isn't it? v.c.
P.S. Rejected song titles included: "Maria" from "The Sound of Music; likewiss, "Climb Every Mountain; and "You Light Up My Life" from the enigmatic Debby Boone. And whatever happened to those white bucks of her daddy, Pat? And, last but not least, "Take This Job and Shove It," from the equally enigmatic Johnny Paycheck.
Because Mr. P. [ Mr. Procrastinator ], yours truly, has completed his work assignment, time is avaiable to pen yet another post on Golden Pond. My favorite pasttime by the way, my own little fantasy world.
But....because I have to arise early in the a.m. [ 5 to be exact ] this foray will now cease and desist.
Life is like a beanstalk, isn't it? v.c.
P.S. Rejected song titles included: "Maria" from "The Sound of Music; likewiss, "Climb Every Mountain; and "You Light Up My Life" from the enigmatic Debby Boone. And whatever happened to those white bucks of her daddy, Pat? And, last but not least, "Take This Job and Shove It," from the equally enigmatic Johnny Paycheck.
"Why Don't We Get Drunk And...."
We all go through this life with one problem after another. If we didn't have them, our lives would be perfect, right. Nah. That's what we all thrive on. Handlin' things. Some of us handle our problems better than others. I may be the poster boy for screwing up. But be it as it may, er, it is what it is, there is often one remedy that can get us out of our many doldrums.
Submitted for your approval is one man's remedy. And one to which I subscribe. Nuff said:
Submitted for your approval is one man's remedy. And one to which I subscribe. Nuff said:
Saturday, January 26, 2008
" I Think I Can"
Apologies go out immediately to the little engine that could.
Tonight my editor suggested another break from writing my column, but I resisted his cease and desist communique.
Now communique is a neat word. You just don't hear it every day.
On a dissimilar vein, it's time to turn out the lights; the party's over.
But before leaving an old tune from "Rubber Soul."
It's only love, v.c.
P.S. Btw. And curse Sir Walter Raleigh; he was such a stupid get.
Tonight my editor suggested another break from writing my column, but I resisted his cease and desist communique.
Now communique is a neat word. You just don't hear it every day.
On a dissimilar vein, it's time to turn out the lights; the party's over.
But before leaving an old tune from "Rubber Soul."
It's only love, v.c.
P.S. Btw. And curse Sir Walter Raleigh; he was such a stupid get.
Friday, January 25, 2008
"The 'Holy Prepuce' Is Missing!"
For those who may have missed it:
Jesus Foreskin Has Gone Missing! - For more than four centuries, the "Holy Prepuce" had been the city's treasure, kept behind bronze doors over the altar in the Church of the Most Holy Name of Jesus. It was displayed every year on Jan. 1, the Feast of the Holy Circumcision. At one time, pilgrims who came to venerate it were rewarded with an indulgence that cut 10 years from their time in purgatory.
I heard this tonight on the radio coming home from work. Neal Boortz show. Didn't even know there was such a thing but evidently, there is. Neal's show was a rerun so it's a somewhat dated story.
P.S. Not sure if it has been found.
Jesus Foreskin Has Gone Missing! - For more than four centuries, the "Holy Prepuce" had been the city's treasure, kept behind bronze doors over the altar in the Church of the Most Holy Name of Jesus. It was displayed every year on Jan. 1, the Feast of the Holy Circumcision. At one time, pilgrims who came to venerate it were rewarded with an indulgence that cut 10 years from their time in purgatory.
I heard this tonight on the radio coming home from work. Neal Boortz show. Didn't even know there was such a thing but evidently, there is. Neal's show was a rerun so it's a somewhat dated story.
P.S. Not sure if it has been found.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
"William Talman"
William Talman made this anti-smoking ad. Circa 1968. He died 6 weeks after filming it. Mr. Talman played Hamilton Burger on "Perry Mason."
The video is courtesy of youtube:
The video is courtesy of youtube:
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
"The Case of the 50's Kinda Guy"
There have been mega hits on "the vast wasteland" since its inception back in the 40's. There was "I Love Lucy"; "All in the Family"; "Dallas"; "Miami Vice;" "Friends;" Seinfeld;" and, currently, "American Idol." But the best, in my humble opinion is none of the above.
My all-time favorite is "Perry Mason." Courtroom drama out the kazoo. With Raymond Burr, as the defense lawyer who never lost a case. Technically, he did lose one. In the beginning of the episode the verdict against his client was "guilty," as reported by the jury. By the end, old Perry had figured it out, and Julie Addams was found not-guilty allah O.J., Baretta, and Phil Spector.
I just got off the phone with my liberal sis who has been bedridden the last few days. Sidelined with the Hong Kong flu or one of its derivatives. How did sis while away the time in her sick bed?
She went to the video store and rented 16 episodes of "Perry Mason." And watched 'em one by one. I can think of no other homo sapien in this world who would do the same thing save one. Yours truly. The writer of G.P.
Tho' sis and I differ in our ideologies-she thinks Hillary is too conservative-we do share an affinity for whodunits and Perry Mason.
Perry was just cool. And intelligent. And savvy. And beyond reproach. And a courtroom magician. Della Street was gorgeous and his right-hand "private" secretary. Paul Drake, the playboy private dick, helped Perry solve many cases. Hamilton Burger, the d.a. ( district attorney for L.A. ] was superb as the d.a. [ dumb ass ] who lost every case to our hero. And Lt. Tragg, as the methodical and crusty detective, was a key ingredient, as well.
I could watch this show any time of day. And have seen practically every one of them. The show was on the boob tube for 9 years; back in those olden days, they probably cranked out 40 episodes a year. So there's roughly 350. I'm sure-without exaggeration, I have seen 95% or more of them.
Sure, there was "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman"; "The Cosby Show"; and "The Fugitive," but the best of them all was Stanley Erle Gardner's "Perry Mason."
Amazon.com, here I come, v.c.
P.S. According to one of the viewers of this video: I noticed that this opening was from the episode "The Case of the Deadly Verdict". That episode was notable in that it was the only case that Perry LOST! He did, however, manage to find the real culprit at the end of the episode. ( v.c. interjects: Yea, That's what I wrote )
My all-time favorite is "Perry Mason." Courtroom drama out the kazoo. With Raymond Burr, as the defense lawyer who never lost a case. Technically, he did lose one. In the beginning of the episode the verdict against his client was "guilty," as reported by the jury. By the end, old Perry had figured it out, and Julie Addams was found not-guilty allah O.J., Baretta, and Phil Spector.
I just got off the phone with my liberal sis who has been bedridden the last few days. Sidelined with the Hong Kong flu or one of its derivatives. How did sis while away the time in her sick bed?
She went to the video store and rented 16 episodes of "Perry Mason." And watched 'em one by one. I can think of no other homo sapien in this world who would do the same thing save one. Yours truly. The writer of G.P.
Tho' sis and I differ in our ideologies-she thinks Hillary is too conservative-we do share an affinity for whodunits and Perry Mason.
Perry was just cool. And intelligent. And savvy. And beyond reproach. And a courtroom magician. Della Street was gorgeous and his right-hand "private" secretary. Paul Drake, the playboy private dick, helped Perry solve many cases. Hamilton Burger, the d.a. ( district attorney for L.A. ] was superb as the d.a. [ dumb ass ] who lost every case to our hero. And Lt. Tragg, as the methodical and crusty detective, was a key ingredient, as well.
I could watch this show any time of day. And have seen practically every one of them. The show was on the boob tube for 9 years; back in those olden days, they probably cranked out 40 episodes a year. So there's roughly 350. I'm sure-without exaggeration, I have seen 95% or more of them.
Sure, there was "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman"; "The Cosby Show"; and "The Fugitive," but the best of them all was Stanley Erle Gardner's "Perry Mason."
Amazon.com, here I come, v.c.
P.S. According to one of the viewers of this video: I noticed that this opening was from the episode "The Case of the Deadly Verdict". That episode was notable in that it was the only case that Perry LOST! He did, however, manage to find the real culprit at the end of the episode. ( v.c. interjects: Yea, That's what I wrote )
"Clean Up Time"
The editor of Golden Pond has advised me ( yours truly ) to cease and desist my column for one night. A clean up time, if you will. Sharpen the ax and all that.
Plus, my creative juices have been dulled by the consumption of two large beers, which is a bit odd, because the injestion of hops and barley tends to unleash the l'il buggers, normally. But not tonite.
So I will take the road less traveled and concur with the ed.'s advice. So G.P. takes the night off.
Gimme shelter, v.c.
Plus, my creative juices have been dulled by the consumption of two large beers, which is a bit odd, because the injestion of hops and barley tends to unleash the l'il buggers, normally. But not tonite.
So I will take the road less traveled and concur with the ed.'s advice. So G.P. takes the night off.
Gimme shelter, v.c.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
"Blue Monday"
The pinto was in full stride zooming down the countryside ( on my way to work ) when the news blurb mentioned that January 21 is the most depressing day of the year. I swilled a sip of my Folgers coffee, heavy on the caffeine, and attempted to digest this bit of news.
Why Monday, January 21? The 'experts" or whoever it was who had too much time on his hands, decided to wit: 1) number of days since Christmas; 2) credit card bills are pouring in from overspending via the holidays; 3) it's cold as hell unless you live in or subscribe to a land of global warming; 4) failed New Year's resolutions; 5) and just plain old low motivation.
I had another sip of the mountain-grown stuff as visions of Mrs. Olson quickly and thankfully subsided. Because a malaise pervades my inner spirit, the days are all the same to me anyway. But as I sit here peckin' away, I now realize that this was a particularly shitty day. ( pardon my french, s'il vous plait ) Later on towards midnite it got better, but there was no pep in my step for the most part.
New Year's Resolutions? Sorry, I didn't make any and never have. But if I were to dabble in shaping my inevitable future, perhaps my goals and resolutions would/should be:
1) To save the world....from itself.
2) Develop a new fuel source. Luckily, most of youse don't buy petrol known as diesel. Just saw it at the pump for $3.57 purr, er, per gallon. Ouch!
3) Produce a new sequel of "Jaws" the movie. One which would rival the original. "Jaws 2" is curently on the boob tube directed by Jeannot Szwarc. ( sp ) Don't know how that useless fact got lodged in the brain cells, but it's there. For better or for worse. Just like in marriage, eh?
4) Write a novel which sets the N.Y. Times Best Seller list on FIRE. "Great piece of work from this 50ish new author, who had been relegating his dubious talents in the wonderful world of food bizdom. You can give this book to any and all of your friends/family any day of the year ( January 21, notwithstanding ) ," says Bennett Cerf of Random House.
"I am impressed with this erstwhile food bizdom guy. I picked up his new book, 'Forays into the Infantile' and couldn't put it down. I am eagerly a'waiting to ketchup ( food pun....ha ha ) on all his earlier G.P. tales via blogspot," says Rex Reed of the L.A. Times.
5) Eradicate the landscape of all fast food restaurants. Nuff said.
6) Develop a strategy in which customers who stand in line to buy something-anything-must not take precious time away from the poor slobs behind them. Women: no looting in your vast wasteland of a pocketbook to find your last penny. Men: keep your hands outta your pants, unless you need to maneuver a discreet shift. Take the damn change and GO. "I gotta penny....somewhere-hold on"-should be outlawed. And that person should immediately proceed to jail, allah Monopoly. And fine 'em $200.00 for starters.
7) While we're on the subject, never order your food at any fast food joint by saying, "I needa burger, I needa fries; and I needa ketchup." Let's pretend Anita [ INeeda ] quit the job so order by saying, "I would like" or "gimme." Or any facsimile, thereof.
8) Write Slippery, Rockhead, bbq, pictruandtru, to see if they've fallen off the map.
9) Design a game plan for the N.Y. Giants in their quest to win the Super Bowl Thus, ending New England's dream of a perfect season: 19 and 0!
10) And maybe....start working-out; quit smoking; and limit the amount of times my hands are discreetly in me pockets.
Yeah, January 21 was a dreary kind of day. Yes, I was a victim. The good part? It's now January 22nd here on G.P. and I'm feeling much better.
Farewell and adieu time, v.c.
Why Monday, January 21? The 'experts" or whoever it was who had too much time on his hands, decided to wit: 1) number of days since Christmas; 2) credit card bills are pouring in from overspending via the holidays; 3) it's cold as hell unless you live in or subscribe to a land of global warming; 4) failed New Year's resolutions; 5) and just plain old low motivation.
I had another sip of the mountain-grown stuff as visions of Mrs. Olson quickly and thankfully subsided. Because a malaise pervades my inner spirit, the days are all the same to me anyway. But as I sit here peckin' away, I now realize that this was a particularly shitty day. ( pardon my french, s'il vous plait ) Later on towards midnite it got better, but there was no pep in my step for the most part.
New Year's Resolutions? Sorry, I didn't make any and never have. But if I were to dabble in shaping my inevitable future, perhaps my goals and resolutions would/should be:
1) To save the world....from itself.
2) Develop a new fuel source. Luckily, most of youse don't buy petrol known as diesel. Just saw it at the pump for $3.57 purr, er, per gallon. Ouch!
3) Produce a new sequel of "Jaws" the movie. One which would rival the original. "Jaws 2" is curently on the boob tube directed by Jeannot Szwarc. ( sp ) Don't know how that useless fact got lodged in the brain cells, but it's there. For better or for worse. Just like in marriage, eh?
4) Write a novel which sets the N.Y. Times Best Seller list on FIRE. "Great piece of work from this 50ish new author, who had been relegating his dubious talents in the wonderful world of food bizdom. You can give this book to any and all of your friends/family any day of the year ( January 21, notwithstanding ) ," says Bennett Cerf of Random House.
"I am impressed with this erstwhile food bizdom guy. I picked up his new book, 'Forays into the Infantile' and couldn't put it down. I am eagerly a'waiting to ketchup ( food pun....ha ha ) on all his earlier G.P. tales via blogspot," says Rex Reed of the L.A. Times.
5) Eradicate the landscape of all fast food restaurants. Nuff said.
6) Develop a strategy in which customers who stand in line to buy something-anything-must not take precious time away from the poor slobs behind them. Women: no looting in your vast wasteland of a pocketbook to find your last penny. Men: keep your hands outta your pants, unless you need to maneuver a discreet shift. Take the damn change and GO. "I gotta penny....somewhere-hold on"-should be outlawed. And that person should immediately proceed to jail, allah Monopoly. And fine 'em $200.00 for starters.
7) While we're on the subject, never order your food at any fast food joint by saying, "I needa burger, I needa fries; and I needa ketchup." Let's pretend Anita [ INeeda ] quit the job so order by saying, "I would like" or "gimme." Or any facsimile, thereof.
8) Write Slippery, Rockhead, bbq, pictruandtru, to see if they've fallen off the map.
9) Design a game plan for the N.Y. Giants in their quest to win the Super Bowl Thus, ending New England's dream of a perfect season: 19 and 0!
10) And maybe....start working-out; quit smoking; and limit the amount of times my hands are discreetly in me pockets.
Yeah, January 21 was a dreary kind of day. Yes, I was a victim. The good part? It's now January 22nd here on G.P. and I'm feeling much better.
Farewell and adieu time, v.c.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
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