We had just opened the doors. 11:00 A.M. Food looked good and appetizing. Cookies were at the cashier. Everything was in place. The rowdy guests were eyeballing their favorites.Something's missing? I thought. We didn't have the muzac on. No problem. Just push play. An old song from the 80's was playing. "Every Breath You Take." Everything's complete, now.
A knock on the door to the office. A policeman.Damn. What'd I do? He was only soliciting for the policeman's ball. What syncronicity, I thought.
It got stranger. The next song on the muzac was "Waxman." From Revolver. Voted the no. 1 album of all time from VH-1. I had just watched that show the night prior and had been waxing lately. About old songs.This is weird. I walked up to the serving line. To help serve the guests.
The next song was from Revolver, again. "Ah, Look At All The Rowdy People." This is too much.
I lost my concentration.A rowdy guest got me out of my stupor. "I remember when the dilly was $1.89." The song on the muzac. "I'm Only Napping." ( please don't wake me, no don't shake me. Leave me where I am, I'm only napping. ) Damn, they're playing the whole album. This will be good. But it's getting strange. I looked around for Rod Serling or Ann Southern.
Next song. "Here, There and Everywhere." A guest wanted a 16 sl lid for her cup. Suzy had to take her asthma medicine. The fryer went out.I had to light it. The rowdy guests wanted their fried chicken. And someone mentioned that the drain ( same one from yesterday ) was running over again. Somebody wanted a jello to go. And the old reliable dish machine was out of soap. And a guest had found a bristle brush on her blackened stuffed catfish.
Damn.
I was trying to get the fryer on. It lit, thank god. I took a deep breath. Whew. Next song, "We All Live In a Yello Bain Marie."Peter Fonda, the fry cook, thanked me.
There was a disturbance on the line. Between two of my rowdy team members. They were having a dispute. Something about having the same boyfriend."She Said, He Said" was playing:
Team Member #1: "You don't understand what I said."
Team Member #2: "Oh, no, no, no, you're wrong." We had to send them home.
"Good Day Fun Times"was next. This synchronicity was getting to be too much. Plus, I'm gonna have to serve all day. Plus, my usual other jobs."And Your Phone Will Ring." For takeouts. And rowdy complaints, etc. Where's Rod Serling?
"For No T Bone" Your day breaks. Your mind aches. You find that all her words of kindness disappears when the guest finds a bone in her tetrazzini."
Time to take a Xanax. "Doctor Hobbit." I expected J.R.R. Tolkien to show.
"I Want To Tell You."My head is filled with things to say. When you're near, all those words, they seem to slip away.The roast beef carver brought me back to reality.
"Got to Get Me Another Knife."We made it through the day. Unbelievable.
The last song. "Tomorrow Never Knows." Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream. Impossible at H.W. I started napping again.The cashier brought me back. A rowdy guest didn't want to pay his tab. She said he handed her the ticket and said "submitted for your approval." And left without paying.
From the Haze, Farewell and adieu, v.c.
P.S. http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/_/id/6595634
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