Apologies to Sandra Bullock, who after winning the ultimate prize in Hollywood, met the agony of defeat when she learned her husband, Jesse James, had been cheating on her. At least she wasn't married to Tiger Woods.
Here's a foray from years ago where the author of G.P. put his spin on the best movie Oscar nominees. Not sure whence it came but it was on my desktop. So without further delay here it is:
1) "The Squid and the Whale": New CEO of a cafeteria chain decides to shake-up the menu by introducing sushi. Zany hijinks ensue as rowdy guests balk at the new fare. "We want the old favorites," says the President of the AARP Snobird Organization. Another classic line from the film: "Don't count the black eyed peas," muttered by one of the independent factions.
2) "Derailed" : Spellbinding! Exhilirating! Riveting! Another Big Business moviedom romp, based loosely on "Brave New World, " "The Jungle," and "Animal Farm." Mayhem and chaos on "The runaway nite train. Ready to crash and burn. It never learns" is the movie's hook and tag line.
3) "Prime" : A documentary from the Dilly Brothers as they romp across 13 states in search of the perfect dining experience. Bill Dilly gets pissed at one stop where most of the food items are empty, cold, and tasteless. "At least one of the servers smiled," Will Dilly remarks to his brother is a memorable line that will stay with you forever.
4) "Get Rich or Die Trying:" "At the end of the day what will you hang onto?" Leroy "50 Cent" Piece decides to hang it up after 40 plus years of cooking fried chicken. After many foiled attempts at franchising his popular fowl cuisine, "50 Cent" Leroy becomes a serial killer. "A psychological thriller that will keep you on the edge of your seats," says "The New York Times." Cameo by Miss Bessie, who is Leroy's first victim. "I always hated that bitch," '50 Cent' mutters rhetorically in one of the more distressing scenes.
5) "Chicken Little:" "Hilarious" says Bob Wire of People Magazine. Reviewer Cal Esthenics of "The Washington Post" reports, "I 'bout fell out of my seat when the guest told the manager, ' you oughta be ashamed of taking them baby chicks away from their mother.'"
6) "I Walk The Line:" A new recruit in the wonderful world of show biz walks up and down the serving line. Day in and day out. He gets weary of saying, "Change this pan. How long on fried chicken? Whaddaya mean you've got to go home?" so he decides to write a song. Instant suckcess follows, and he becomes a country-western legend. His name: Johnny Cash! "Spellbinding" claims Siskel/Ebert.
7) "Harry Potter and The Giblet of Fire:" Based loosely on "Animal House," this zany comedy takes place on the campus of "Truck U.," during the Thanksgiving holidays. When a blizzard engulfs the campus and the students aren't allowed to leave, Harry conjures up a 'giblet of fire' and saves the day by making cornbread dressing in bain maries.
8)"Jarhead:" A marine heads to Northern California to debunk the theory that "rice au roni" is actually "the San Francisco Treat."
9) "The Legend of Azzwhole:" The swashbuckling hero returns after a rousing suckcess in the fast food and cafeteria bizness. "All hail, Caesar" is a recurring line spoken by the plebians.
10) "Capote:" This foray into the infantile is capote. Fini.' You may now disembark the night train....
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
"Waxing Nostalgic"
New From K TEL Records: Piccadilly 5-Aug-01 01:07 am
Managers sing the hits.
You loved their earlier collection. You waxed nostalgic as they sang "Can We Serve You." And other timeless classics.
Piccadilly Managers sing the hits from K TEL sold more copies than Slim Whitman ever imagined selling.
More chart toppers than the Oak Ridge Boys.
And here they are again by popular demand.
You'll hear them sing: The Eagles'
Welcome to the "Cafeteria Piccadilly." Such a lovely place, such a lovely place, such a lovely place....
We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.
You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.
You'll salivate at their remake of Simon and Garfunkel's "Bridge over Troubled Waters."
Your taste buds will flare as they sing Led Zeppelin's "Rock and Roll."
It's been a long time since we made some honest-to-god rolls,
It's been a long time since we had some good bowls.
Carry me back, carry me back.
To the place I came from.
The Piccadilly Managers sing disco, too. It may be a dinosaur today, but who can forget those liesure suits and gaudy hair styles.
The Mgrs. get funky as they bellow:
The BeeGees, "Stayin' Alive." And Gloria Gaynor's classic, "I Will Survive."
Some of the mgrs. have left the band since the first record. But who cares. You'll never notice as they continue the disco portion with Rod Stewart's "Da Ya Think We're Sexy?"
They'll segue way into the early seventies with Lynard Skynard's "Free Bird."
If I leave here tomorrow?
Will you still remember me?
Cos I'm as free as a bird now.
And this bird you cannot change.
And you'll revel in their rendition of Skynard's, "Ooh That Smell."
PIC Mgrs. do instrumentals, too. You'll pray to your own personal God when they recreate Mike Oldfield's, Theme From The Exorcist." You'll love those tubular bells.
You'll creep closer to 1969 when the mgrs. sing Crosby Stills Nash and Young's classics. "Our House," and "Deja Vu." Have you been here before?
Of course, you have. K TEL's first. Pic Mgrs. sing the hits.
They play to the Yahoo Message Board, too. Love letters to their fans. ibbq4u2, nelore1,
superdilly 2000, A2FAY, and more.
Yahoo. You'll never forget the mgrs. singing Captain and Tenille's "Hoots Will Keep Us Together."
And K.C. and the Sunshine Band's "Shake Your Hootsbuddie."
Ah, Shake Shake Shake
Shake Shake Shake
Shake your hootsbuddie.
They'll close the show with CCR's "Bad Moon Rising," Jimi's "Purple Haze" and Joan Baez's "The Night They Closed Old Piccadilly Down."
Have your credit card ready. Operators standing by. Available on cd or cassette. Dinosaur mentalities, ones who long for the return of drive-ins, discos, and cafeterias, must purchase 8 track only.
You loved them once. You'll love them again.
Call 1-800-DEJA VU. If lines are busy
keep trying. Everyone will want a copy of Piccadilly Mgrs. sing the hits. Volume two.
If lines continue to be busy, dial 1-800-Forgot How To Make A Roll.
Must be 18 to order. Even accept posterior retentive orders.
New From K TEL. Order today.
Managers sing the hits.
You loved their earlier collection. You waxed nostalgic as they sang "Can We Serve You." And other timeless classics.
Piccadilly Managers sing the hits from K TEL sold more copies than Slim Whitman ever imagined selling.
More chart toppers than the Oak Ridge Boys.
And here they are again by popular demand.
You'll hear them sing: The Eagles'
Welcome to the "Cafeteria Piccadilly." Such a lovely place, such a lovely place, such a lovely place....
We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.
You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.
You'll salivate at their remake of Simon and Garfunkel's "Bridge over Troubled Waters."
Your taste buds will flare as they sing Led Zeppelin's "Rock and Roll."
It's been a long time since we made some honest-to-god rolls,
It's been a long time since we had some good bowls.
Carry me back, carry me back.
To the place I came from.
The Piccadilly Managers sing disco, too. It may be a dinosaur today, but who can forget those liesure suits and gaudy hair styles.
The Mgrs. get funky as they bellow:
The BeeGees, "Stayin' Alive." And Gloria Gaynor's classic, "I Will Survive."
Some of the mgrs. have left the band since the first record. But who cares. You'll never notice as they continue the disco portion with Rod Stewart's "Da Ya Think We're Sexy?"
They'll segue way into the early seventies with Lynard Skynard's "Free Bird."
If I leave here tomorrow?
Will you still remember me?
Cos I'm as free as a bird now.
And this bird you cannot change.
And you'll revel in their rendition of Skynard's, "Ooh That Smell."
PIC Mgrs. do instrumentals, too. You'll pray to your own personal God when they recreate Mike Oldfield's, Theme From The Exorcist." You'll love those tubular bells.
You'll creep closer to 1969 when the mgrs. sing Crosby Stills Nash and Young's classics. "Our House," and "Deja Vu." Have you been here before?
Of course, you have. K TEL's first. Pic Mgrs. sing the hits.
They play to the Yahoo Message Board, too. Love letters to their fans. ibbq4u2, nelore1,
superdilly 2000, A2FAY, and more.
Yahoo. You'll never forget the mgrs. singing Captain and Tenille's "Hoots Will Keep Us Together."
And K.C. and the Sunshine Band's "Shake Your Hootsbuddie."
Ah, Shake Shake Shake
Shake Shake Shake
Shake your hootsbuddie.
They'll close the show with CCR's "Bad Moon Rising," Jimi's "Purple Haze" and Joan Baez's "The Night They Closed Old Piccadilly Down."
Have your credit card ready. Operators standing by. Available on cd or cassette. Dinosaur mentalities, ones who long for the return of drive-ins, discos, and cafeterias, must purchase 8 track only.
You loved them once. You'll love them again.
Call 1-800-DEJA VU. If lines are busy
keep trying. Everyone will want a copy of Piccadilly Mgrs. sing the hits. Volume two.
If lines continue to be busy, dial 1-800-Forgot How To Make A Roll.
Must be 18 to order. Even accept posterior retentive orders.
New From K TEL. Order today.
Monday, March 08, 2010
"Millionaire Made Grave Error"
She bought her clothes at rummage sales, didn't own a car and worked most of her life as a secretary for a pharmaceutical company.
Yet after her death at age 100, Grace Groner left Lake Forest College a gift of $7 million to be used for scholarships. The money came from three shares of stock she bought -- and held on to -- in 1935.
As David Roeder of the Chicago Sun-Times points out: "It is a grave error to put your nest egg behind a single company, and it is worse when the company is your employer. Groner had a winner, but others have done this with Enron, General Motors or Bear Stearns."
The all-in-one basket strategy was, of course, a grave error for employees of Enron and others. And financial advisers love to herald diversification, which didn't turn out so well for many investors during the financial crisis.
P.S. They forgot to add Piccadilly to the list! My pal, Bronco Billy, diversified his stock and came out smelling like a rose. But his boss and my mentor lost his shirt!
P.S.S. This is post 2000. Where do we go from here, eh?
Yet after her death at age 100, Grace Groner left Lake Forest College a gift of $7 million to be used for scholarships. The money came from three shares of stock she bought -- and held on to -- in 1935.
As David Roeder of the Chicago Sun-Times points out: "It is a grave error to put your nest egg behind a single company, and it is worse when the company is your employer. Groner had a winner, but others have done this with Enron, General Motors or Bear Stearns."
The all-in-one basket strategy was, of course, a grave error for employees of Enron and others. And financial advisers love to herald diversification, which didn't turn out so well for many investors during the financial crisis.
P.S. They forgot to add Piccadilly to the list! My pal, Bronco Billy, diversified his stock and came out smelling like a rose. But his boss and my mentor lost his shirt!
P.S.S. This is post 2000. Where do we go from here, eh?
Friday, March 05, 2010
"Ways to Increase Business"
The proprietor of the Pond was perusing old posts from back in the day ( 2001 to be exact) on my ex company's message board via Yahoo. Me and others had a ball extolling our opinions. We became engaged-a popular word during the heyday. Here's one of my earlier forays into the infantile. Submitted for your approval.
And thanks to one of the engaged who recently asked me if I had archived my endeavors. I did but don't know into which black hole they have absconded. And without further adieu, here it is. [ damn, has it been almost 9 years ago? ]
Bring back the old tried and true recipes for
success. They worked quite well in the past.
Number one: Charge for butter. Strip search customer if necessary.
Number two: Charge for crackers. Strip search customer......
Number three: Continue child's policy. No bread. Kids don't like bread, especially rolls.
Number four: Do away with tip wage. People don't like to tip in cafeterias. Floor staff can hide more, like they did in the good old days.
Number five: Draw a line in the sand when it comes to customers returning food.Just because they ate all the food doesn't mean they enjoyed it.
Number six: Bring back those scales that never worked. For the counter. That way we can weigh everyone's order. Especially roast beef, ham,
and chicken tenders.
Number seven: Charge for tartar sauce. Why should some have to subsidize others. Tartar sauce has too much fat, clogs arteries, which makes health premiums skyrocket.
Number eight: Don't discount anything. If we charge less for a large ( jumbo ) chop steak and you sell one hundred a day times 230 cafeterias times 365 days a yaer we'll lose x amount of dollars. We can't have that.So let's keep the price high.
Number nine: Have all the staff say, "Can I serve you?" to the customers.Managers, too, when handling complaints. Customers will love it.
Number ten: Use catchy jargon for the products.
Typical scenario. "Can I serve you?" "Uhmm, what kind of fish is that?" Server: "That's our delicious, farm raised catfish, farmed on the banks of Saigon. It's our TET offensive special of the day." Customer: "You sold me.And I'll have tartar sauce."
Number eleven: Go back to two scoops for vegetable servings. A 12 scoop for regular, a la carte orders, and a 16 scoop for best value or combo.After saying, "Can I serve you," server differentiates-quickly- what scoop to use. Must use your best servers here.
Number twelve: Bring back small glasses for tea. Rack tea like we did in the old days.Be sure and keep hoses cleaned, however. Bleach works great.
These worked in the past. And they will work today.
And thanks to one of the engaged who recently asked me if I had archived my endeavors. I did but don't know into which black hole they have absconded. And without further adieu, here it is. [ damn, has it been almost 9 years ago? ]
Bring back the old tried and true recipes for
success. They worked quite well in the past.
Number one: Charge for butter. Strip search customer if necessary.
Number two: Charge for crackers. Strip search customer......
Number three: Continue child's policy. No bread. Kids don't like bread, especially rolls.
Number four: Do away with tip wage. People don't like to tip in cafeterias. Floor staff can hide more, like they did in the good old days.
Number five: Draw a line in the sand when it comes to customers returning food.Just because they ate all the food doesn't mean they enjoyed it.
Number six: Bring back those scales that never worked. For the counter. That way we can weigh everyone's order. Especially roast beef, ham,
and chicken tenders.
Number seven: Charge for tartar sauce. Why should some have to subsidize others. Tartar sauce has too much fat, clogs arteries, which makes health premiums skyrocket.
Number eight: Don't discount anything. If we charge less for a large ( jumbo ) chop steak and you sell one hundred a day times 230 cafeterias times 365 days a yaer we'll lose x amount of dollars. We can't have that.So let's keep the price high.
Number nine: Have all the staff say, "Can I serve you?" to the customers.Managers, too, when handling complaints. Customers will love it.
Number ten: Use catchy jargon for the products.
Typical scenario. "Can I serve you?" "Uhmm, what kind of fish is that?" Server: "That's our delicious, farm raised catfish, farmed on the banks of Saigon. It's our TET offensive special of the day." Customer: "You sold me.And I'll have tartar sauce."
Number eleven: Go back to two scoops for vegetable servings. A 12 scoop for regular, a la carte orders, and a 16 scoop for best value or combo.After saying, "Can I serve you," server differentiates-quickly- what scoop to use. Must use your best servers here.
Number twelve: Bring back small glasses for tea. Rack tea like we did in the old days.Be sure and keep hoses cleaned, however. Bleach works great.
These worked in the past. And they will work today.
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
"Post 1997"
Getting close to post 2000. Hopefully all will be well when the Pond meets the milestone.
The following video is from an older chap who lives somewhere in England. He does Beatles covers as well as other artists. This one sounds like a tune Ringo would sing.
The following video is from an older chap who lives somewhere in England. He does Beatles covers as well as other artists. This one sounds like a tune Ringo would sing.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
"Flaming Pie"
( From Wikipedia ) The title Flaming Pie (also given to one of the album's songs) is a reference to a humorous story John Lennon told journalists in 1961 on the origin of The Beatles' name when they became newly famous: "I had a vision that a man came unto us on a flaming pie, and he said, 'You are Beatles with an A.' And so we were." The album itself definitively has a Beatles flair to it; "The Song We Were Singing" was written about the Lennon/McCartney writing team.
P.S. I noticed Ringo Starr will be at Chastain Park July 10th. Would love to see Ringo again!
P.S. I noticed Ringo Starr will be at Chastain Park July 10th. Would love to see Ringo again!
Monday, February 01, 2010
"I'm a Born Again American"
This is an interesting video that my aunt sent me. She and her husband are missionaries; he is a pastor of a Baptist church in Sofia, Bulgaria.
The video is kinda like some of the videos on youtube, where people in different parts of the world collaborate on a song. Modern technology, eh?
The video is kinda like some of the videos on youtube, where people in different parts of the world collaborate on a song. Modern technology, eh?
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
"Ozzy Says No to Black Sabbath Reunion"
Osbourne adds, "I had girlfriends when I was younger and I would go, 'Oh, I would really like to go back with Shirley,' and then you do and you go to yourself, 'What the f**k was I thinking?'"
Friday, January 22, 2010
"Al Gore"
The weather has warmed here on Golden Pond. the citizenry is back to short sleeve shirts in the afternoon as it's in the 60's. The arctic blast has momentarily gone away, and, surely, Al Gore is feeling better about his take on the end of mankind as we know it.
A lot has happened lately. An earthquake in Haiti has devastated the tiny island. Pat Robertson weighed in by saying the Haitians had made a pact some 200 years ago with the devil. Conan O'Brien is leaving the Tonight Show with 33 million and change; and Mark McGuire admitted to using steroids; and a Republican took the senate seat once filled by Ted Kennedy.
So 2010 has gotten off to a rousing start. So where do we go from here? Eh?
A lot has happened lately. An earthquake in Haiti has devastated the tiny island. Pat Robertson weighed in by saying the Haitians had made a pact some 200 years ago with the devil. Conan O'Brien is leaving the Tonight Show with 33 million and change; and Mark McGuire admitted to using steroids; and a Republican took the senate seat once filled by Ted Kennedy.
So 2010 has gotten off to a rousing start. So where do we go from here? Eh?
Friday, January 08, 2010
"Cold Weather Hits the Metropolis"
It's colder than a witches titty here on the Pond, aka Hotlanta. Except it ain't hot these days-it's freaking cold. Shirley, it's an aberration cos Al Gore would no longer be invited on Dave Letterman's show.
The schools were closed today, and I can't blame 'em. The media was doing its usual thing by warning the citizenry to stay off the roads. And one 50 year old woman died last last night when her car skidded on black ice and ran into a tree.
When I was a kid I always wanted it to snow, because I didn't want to go to school. When yours truly entered the work force, I prayed for NO snow.
Now I don't care because I am gainfully unemployed. Is that an oxymoron?
Keep warm. Don't drive on the roads unless you have to.
Gimme shelter, v.c.
The schools were closed today, and I can't blame 'em. The media was doing its usual thing by warning the citizenry to stay off the roads. And one 50 year old woman died last last night when her car skidded on black ice and ran into a tree.
When I was a kid I always wanted it to snow, because I didn't want to go to school. When yours truly entered the work force, I prayed for NO snow.
Now I don't care because I am gainfully unemployed. Is that an oxymoron?
Keep warm. Don't drive on the roads unless you have to.
Gimme shelter, v.c.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
"Rat Droppings Found At Airport Food Establishments"
When a busy traveler grabs a sandwich or has a sit-down meal at the airport, he or she should think twice.
US Today reviewed the food safety reports at airport restaurants and found hundreds of food safety violations.
Among them -- sandwiches were stored in refrigerators warmer than they should be, raw meat was contaminating ready-to-eat foods and rat droppings were found in establishments.
I personally worked at the Atlanta Airport a few years ago and know for a fact it is infested with rats. Big critters, too. The size of cats.
Caveat emptor, eh?
US Today reviewed the food safety reports at airport restaurants and found hundreds of food safety violations.
Among them -- sandwiches were stored in refrigerators warmer than they should be, raw meat was contaminating ready-to-eat foods and rat droppings were found in establishments.
I personally worked at the Atlanta Airport a few years ago and know for a fact it is infested with rats. Big critters, too. The size of cats.
Caveat emptor, eh?
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
"Dominos Changes Pizza"
I ate many Dominos pizzas especially when the kids were younger. 30 minutes or less and all that.
And then came Papa Johns, Cici's, etc. With the economy in the tank pizza delivery sales are down 6%.
Dominos is fighting back and not only because of sluggish sales. Seems its pizza is last in taste tests. So in celebration of its 50 years in business, the company is introducing a new better-tasting pizza.
And for a one topping pizza at $5.99 who can resist?
And then came Papa Johns, Cici's, etc. With the economy in the tank pizza delivery sales are down 6%.
Dominos is fighting back and not only because of sluggish sales. Seems its pizza is last in taste tests. So in celebration of its 50 years in business, the company is introducing a new better-tasting pizza.
And for a one topping pizza at $5.99 who can resist?
Saturday, December 12, 2009
"Lucy, What Happened?"
My blog has lay dormant for a few weeks now. A lot of stuff has happened which has turned my world upside down. Life can sometimes be a bitch.
I did talk to hoots the other day and found him to be enjoying his retirement even tho' he's still working.
So it's time to resurrect Golden Pond. After a brief hiatus.
Full speed ahead; damn the torpedos.
I did talk to hoots the other day and found him to be enjoying his retirement even tho' he's still working.
So it's time to resurrect Golden Pond. After a brief hiatus.
Full speed ahead; damn the torpedos.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
"No Tip=Slammer Time"
Ever receive bad service while dining? We all have, right? So do you not leave a tip? Complain to the management? I've certainly fielded a few complaints in that regard. But I never called the police and had the complainees put in the slammer.
Here is the story:
"Nobody, nobody wants to be forced to pay a tip or be arrested for terrible service," Leslie Pope said when her happy hour ended in handcuffs.
Pope and John Wagner were hauled away by police and charged with theft for not paying the mandatory 18 percent gratuity totaling $16 after eating at the Lehigh Pub in Bethlehem, Pa. with six friends.
Pope claimed that they had to wait nearly an hour for their order and that she had to get napkins and silverware for the table herself.
Here is the story:
"Nobody, nobody wants to be forced to pay a tip or be arrested for terrible service," Leslie Pope said when her happy hour ended in handcuffs.
Pope and John Wagner were hauled away by police and charged with theft for not paying the mandatory 18 percent gratuity totaling $16 after eating at the Lehigh Pub in Bethlehem, Pa. with six friends.
Pope claimed that they had to wait nearly an hour for their order and that she had to get napkins and silverware for the table herself.
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