"Top Five Karaoke Songs"

 
 
 
 

No. 5 "Friends in Low Places"

No. 4 "Oops, I Done It, Er, Did It Again"

No. 3 "I Love Rock and Roll"

No. 2 "Y-M-C-A"

And Numero Uno?.... 

"I Will Survive" "Holy Disco Era, Batman"

 

Drum Roll ( click her for the song ) ! 

"Foray to Follow" Part Two

 
 
 
 

Now how did Mel Gibson get mixed-in with tonite's foray about Cynthia McKinney?

Billy, Don't Be A Hero! v.c.

P.S. I love you! 

"More McKinney"

From Boortz.com


I love it! Maybe I won't miss Cynthia McKinney after all! It looks like she just doesn't want to go away!
There are some politicians that are gracious in defeat. They accept the will of the people and go home and do something else, or become a Washington lobbyist and make more money. You win some, you lose some. That's the nature of politics. However, Cynthia McKinney is not one of those people.

After being decisively beaten in the Democratic primary last week and becoming ineligible to stand for re-election, Cynthia is fuming. She wants to blame her defeat on somebody....on something. Surely it wasn't voters' disgust and embarrassment with her behavior in Washington. That thing where she punched a cop? That was his fault.

So, in the warped, conspiratorial, leftist mind of Cynthia McKinney, other reasons must be found that shift the blame to someone else. Responsibility cannot rest with her: it is somebody else's fault that she was beaten at the polls. So now she has started speaking out about voting irregularities in her district. In particular, she is blaming the voting machines. Sound familiar?

McKinney says that black people should oppose electronic voting machines, because she says they can be used to steal elections. She also claims that the system of holding a runoff, where the winner must, well...actually win...violates the Voting Rights Act. Why sure, Cynthia....whatever you say.

So there you have it...electronic voting machines drove Cynthia McKinney from office. Oh, and she blames the media too.

Gimme shelter, v.c.

P.S. From my sis comes this reply on yesterday's McKinney foray compiled by yours truly. Shirley, most of you think the catfish is writing these responses, but believe it or not, the following comment was written by my dear ol' sis, who began her salutation by referring to me as v.c. Take it away, Olga:

Dear V.C., I never heard back from you re my term paper on Edward R. Murrow. Did you have the chance to read it?


My heart hurts re the criticism of Cynthia Mckinney. She is really a very intelligent and brave woman
who courageously has faced the far right wing for at least the last 10 years. She is a hero of mine and will remain so. She has
faced much from the "Right Wing" even death threats and has to do special measures to protect family members. Karl Rove is a master
of "smear politics". His influence knows no limits. Cynthia will rise again. I think she may even go to school out here to get get
her Master's or Doctorate in Political Science. She is no crazy lady. She is an Afro American who has come up through the trenches
in the world of the Georgia " good old boys". Racism is alive and well in this country---not just Georgia. Think about Katrina.
Actually the thing to start thinking about now is the disappearance of the middle class and the differences between the poor and the
very rich in this country. The new laws are supporting the rich. Where will that leave most of us? How do you think this Administration is really helping you? -----or should I ask "how are the Corporations that run this country and the world helping we the people? People need to awaken from the slumber! Olga

P.S.S. Concerning the Edward R. Murrow piece, I was unable to open it. And, Shirley, I told her so. The above treatise is all liberalese. Methinks I could never be so clever as to mimic that doctrine.

"Foray to Follow"

 
 
 
  

"Time In A Bottle" or "Vent This!"

Altho my sis who hails from San Francisco is disappointed and devestated that her hero, Cynthia McKinney, lost her House of Representatives race [ 4th district ] some venters in the AJC [ Golden Pond's fishwrapper ] submitted their comments. Seems as if they were glad Ms. McKinney lost. For your approval and perusal, they are included here:

I voted for Cynthia four times on Tuesday and she still lost.

Let us all join together, no matter our race, creed, beliefs or political party to have U.S. Rep. Cynthia McKinney appointed U.S. ambassador to Antarctica.

Too bad Cynthia lost before she could get that groundbreaking Tupac Shakur legislation passed.

I am an African-American DeKalb resident. There is not a yarmulke in my home, yet I voted for Hank. Cynthia, you lost because a majority is tired of your hate-filled, race-baiting tirades. Please go away!

Why is it that cable news will show video of members of Cynthia McKinney’s entourage making racist comments and calling Hank Johnson an Uncle Tom, but the local media, TV and print ignore it?

Cynthia McKinney learned one trick from the Republicans. She blamed her loss on the media.

Cynthia called me Jewish. She called me white. She called me a Republican. Too bad she forgot to call me the most important thing: constituent.

Cynthia McKinney should have spent less time campaigning in the runoff and more time with Cathy Cox, who demonstrated there is a way to concede with dignity.

The best thing about Hank Johnson is he’s not Cynthia McKinney.

I presented three government-issued photo IDs at the polls, but they only let me vote once. Georgia politics sure have changed.

The McKinney-Johnson race was where boring beat buffoonery

Cynthia, who is to blame this time? The media, the electronic voting machines, the Capitol police or the Jews?

Can I help take down the “Cynthia McKinney Parkway” signs?

If I had time in a bottle, v.c.

P.S. Unrelated vent: Thanks to Comcast, my Atlanta family lived on Gilligan’s Island for over a week: no phone, no cable, no Internet. We were as primitive as can be.

"Snippets From The Readers"

The Pond gets comments from time to time. Slippery is good for one every now and then. My friend, Marty, who hails from Boca Raton makes his presence felt every fortnight or less. And the hootster, aka hootsbuddy, sends an occassional reply whenever the Pond tickles his fancy. With an obscure relic from back inna day.

And my old classmate from Rowdy High, Steverino, threw in his 2 cents worth a few forays ago. editor's note: Steverino enjoys the moniker inflicted upon him by the writer of G.P. [ yours truly ]

The enigmatic pictru offers his insights on a semi-regular basis. Although I have no clue to his identity-well, once I thought he may be the director/screenwriter of "Godzilla 1985" or the special effects guru, allah Ray Harryhausen, for some cinematic treasures such as "The Thing," the remake from John "Halloween" Carpenter; or "The Fly," another remake from b.i.t.d. "Help me! Help me!" [ words uttered at the end of the original saga by the scientist, who's stuck in a spider web, and whose experiments have gone awry. ]

And then there's Rock Head on loan from Texarkana or as they used to categorize the villanous masked rasslers: from parts unknown. He also leaves a snippet on an irregular schedule.

Sometimes readers fly under the radar screen and send in their comments privately. My recent post entitled "The Last Plantation" brought some interesting mail from two readers, one from my liberal sis who resides in windy San Fran; and Shirley, who lives in Hawaii:

v.c. . . .VERY interesting blog . . .You've GOT to find a way to publish this really odd twist w/the guy who (thankfully!) beat CMcKinney . . .what an embarrassment this kook was to Georgia . . .what an interesting story . . .the way this fellow came all the around that crazy initerstate to help you . . .and how he was REWARDED for this???

I'll listent to the sounds you sent when I get back there and plug in my microphone . . .I've shared your blog with several folks . . .I just LOVE that McKinney section .. .what a crazy lady . . .

shirley

and:

Dear v.c., Ironically Cynthia McKinny has been a hero of mine for several years.
I am sorry she lost! I have a picture of her that I cherish and have seen her several times in San Francisco and Berkeley. Maybe she'll move to Bay Area where she'll be welcome
by most people. She belongs to a group out here called "Sisters of Fire". Olga

Anyone surprised by sis's comments. Two different views. Shirley=crazy lady. Olga, er, Sis=hero of mine.

Well, it just goes to show you, there's divergent opinions out there. Here on the Pond, we appreciate all of the replies, even the far-left ones espoused by my darling sister.

It's what makes the world go 'round, eh? v.c.

P.S. What else stands out here? Well, there were no 78-year-old blue-haired grannies on the list. There were no families traveling with children. There were no young mothers with children in tow. From boortz.com on the ridiculous non-profiling of Middle-East denizens at American airports. All of the London bombing suspects were well, uh, Muslim.

P.S.S. Slippery, how was the CSNY concert? The account I read said a good bit of folks left the arena when the boys broke into "Let's Impeach the President." Btw, did they croon "Almost Cut My [ avocado ] Pear, er, Hair? One of my favorites from CSNY.

"Sample and Hold"

 
 

I tried blogging a link last nite to "Sample and Hold," a tune from Neil Young that he recorded back in the day. But, alas, the YouTube gods pulled the video, because of yours truly. YouTube has some neat stuff, however. Check 'em out.

P.S. I love you, v.c. Apologies to ....

P.S.S. here's a snippet from the song. The video was the bomb. Sorry! 

"I Need A Unit To Sample And Hold"

But not the lonely one, a new design, a new design.... click on the link!

Apologies to Neil Young, who I really dug back in the day.

"The Last Plantation"

 
 
 
 

Today's most tightly-contested House of Representatives race [ pun unintended ] pits Cynthia McKinney vs. Hank Johnson. Both are vying for the 4th District seat in Jawja, er, Georgia.

Back in the early days of 1991, I was travelling to H.ell W.hole, my employment venue, when my Dodge Street Van [ Ol' Betsy ] up and died on me on the interstate. Poor girl had thrown a rod, the equivalent of a massive heart attack in humans. Smoke was billowing from the hood. I jumped out after making our way to the shoulder. Cursing my luck and bemoaning Ol' Betsy's fate, I wondered what in the hell [ whole ] I was gonna do.

I didn't have a cell phone then-not even a beeper. I began walking to the exit which was a good coppola miles away. Before I could get a few steps down the pavement, a van pulled up beside me. I recognized the driver, who was a frequent customer of mine.

"I saw you break down," he said. "I'll give you a ride to work. Jump in!"

The good samaritan had been on the opposite side of the interstate when Ol' Betsy's demise happened with a quickness. He got off at the exit to help out yers truly.

I was deeply indebtted to my customer and thanked him for his kindness, as he dropped me off at H.W.

"We all need a hand every now and then," he said.

I saw him many times after that. If I recall correctly, his food of choice was fried shrimp. And sometimes I would thank him again for his kind deed. The customer's name is Hank Johnson. And he is battling Cynthia McKinney today for a chance to go to Washington.

Who'd a thunk it? v.c.

P.S. After perusing Ms. McKinney's blog, I happened on a video from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgoaQIz97LM. Concerning disgruntled black officers in Washington, D.C. 

"Hi-Ho Silver, Away" Apologies to Pecan Delight

 
 
 
 

Me and Kitty were reminiscing last night when deserts came to the forefront of our conversation. Kitty, in her inevitable style, recalled enjoying a tasty morsel known as Pecan Delight, her desert of choice, from an old southern-based cafeteria chain.

I told her it was easy to make. Whip [ whip it good* ] the egg whites, add sugar, pecans, and Ritz crackers. Place in the oven for a few minutes, let cool, top with whipped cream and more pecans and voila. Easy.

We continued hashing out memories [ apologies to stuffed peppers ] when I said: "If I ever see Briggs [ my former, back-stabbing regional manager ] I will punch his lights out.

Kitty surprised me by saying she would do the same thing. She shares my animosity toward the little redneck fucker. [ pardon my french, s'il vous plait ]

Anyway, when the title of tonite's foray came to me, I remembered Hi-Ho made the crackers we used for "Pecan Delight," so the story line has wandered far afield. The real subject matter was in response to my old friend, pictruandtru, who wrote me last night to say he wants to divulge his identity. It's about g.d. time!

Is this on the level or what? I would love to meet. And mebbe we could invite the hootster and the bbq man, eh? And clifhenry and hootsbudie, who methinks are one and the same.

The shroud of mystery will be uncloaked soon????? v.c.

P.S. *Apologies to Devo

P.S.S. Who is the enigmatic pictruandtru? For auld times sake:

1) hootsbuddy

2) Jim Mora

3) Spike Lee [ added for diversity's sake ]

4) Ron Banther

5) Rusty Staub

6) Jay Silverhills

7) Bum Phillips

8) Julia Hamilton

9) Jerry Lee Lewis/Jimmy Swaggart

10) Yers truly

11) The sunbathing manager [ see "Jimmy Carter" store for more details ] 

"One of My First Forays As A Blogger" or "Revolver-the 40th Anniversary" [ Time Flies When Yer Havin' Fun, eh? ]

 

Hey, I don't have to work tomorrow so here we go. This will be blog number 2 and tonite's story is about my favorite band. No, it's not the Stones. Nor Van Halen. No, it's definitely not the Fudge, Vanilla, that is. Hint: the band members hail from Liverpool and are affectionately known as the Fab 4.

Why the Beatles, you may ask. Didn't they break-up in 1969, er, 1970? That was 34 years ago Are you a dinosaur or what?

Yes, guilty as charged. But why do I continue to listen? Why the intrigue? I shall try to explain. Let's begin with a few of my favorite tunes. In no particular order. Some of the songs may not be familiar to the casual listener/fan.

1) In My Life: Beautiful song by John Lennon. Harmonium solo.

2) Happiness Is A Warm Gun: Bang Bang Shoot Shoot. The intro:

She's not a girl who misses much
Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Oh yeah
She's well acquainted with the touch of a velvet hand
Like a lizard on a windowpane
A man in the crowd with the multi-coloured mirrors
On his hobnail boots.
Lying with his eyes while his hands are busy working overtime.
A soap impression of his wife which he ate
And donated to the national trust.

In the top five. The song heard here is not the ultimate recording. This version was taken from "The Beatles Anthology III."

3)You Never Give Me Your Money: An ode to the lawyers, business managers, record companies, executives, etc. who were valiantly attempting to split the bountiful pie w/o success. From "Abbey Road:"

You never give me your money
you only give me you funny paper
And in the middle of negotiation you break down

I never give you my number
I only give you my situation
And in the middle of investigation I break down

4) When I'm 64: Loved it as a kid. Love it today. Great lyrics. Clarinet throughout the song. Unheard of on a pop song at the time.

Grandchildren on your knee
Vera, Chuck, and Dave

5) Eleanor Rigby: Haunting. Strings. Once again, unheard of on a pop record. I recall a reviewer using the word "enigmatic" when describing the song. "Ah, look at all the lonely people." I love listening to this track in the dead of winter alongside Betsy, my Buick and confidante.

6) While My Guitar Gently Weeps: A George foray. Harmony with Paul. Priceless. Also, the lead guitar duties were fashioned by Eric Clapton.

7) From Me to You: One of their earlier songs. Bright, energetic. In retrospect, you can see the appeal. Basic "I love you, don't be blue" lyrics, but the freshness and genuineness is evident throughout.

8) It Won't Be Long: One reviewer likened it to a cacophony of chanting tibetan monks . Yeah! From "Meet The Beatles."

9) Julia: Beautiful song by John. Written to his mom, Julia.

Ocean child ( Yoko Ono )calls me
So I sing a song of love, Julia.

10) Here, There, And Everywhere: From "Revolver" which was voted the number one album of all time, courtesy of VH-1. Apollo g's to everyone else. Sorry!

11) Norweigan Wood: First use of the sitar. ( idea sponged from Ravi Shankar ) In a pop recording.

She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh
I told her I didn't and crawled onto sleep in the bath.

12) Strawberry Fields Forever: I love all of the versions, but the simple, unadulterated version from the Anthology tapes, is fantastic. Cranberry sauce.

13) Taxman: Rocker by George. Begins the "Revolver" lp ( seems Elton John, among others, left his beloved England due to an 85% tax on his earnings. Ouch! )The scorching guitar riff is played by Paul and not by George.

14) The Word: The word is love. Bright, clean, up-tempo song from "Rubber Soul." Influence of Dylan evident. I can get my groove on whenever I listen.

15) A Day In The Life: First time I saw the cover ( Madame Tussauds, eh? ) was in N'awlins. Me and my family had gone to Jamaica. Couldn't wait to arrive home to get a listen. I knew the song was different and that the boys were heading in a new direction. 30 second piano bit at the end. Thanks to Steve Woodford who loaned me his copy back in the day. He knew the lp [ long playing ] was special and that [ yours truly ] would definitely enjoy. Yes, I bought my own copy days later.

16) I Am The Walrus: My all time favorite: Recorded in "fake" stereo, I often turn the balance to either side for a unique listening approach. The words, imagery, and music-unmatched imho. The Anthology version is excellent.

http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/5109/walrus.html

17) And Your Bird Can Sing: Another fresh, vivacious entry. From "Rubber Soul" but in America, the tune appears on "Yesterday and Today." [ see the "Butchershop Photo" for further details. The version on the Anthology is awesome.

18) Help: From "Help," the movie. Nuff said. Plus, I like to play it in times of trouble. Misery loves company, eh? Just a damn good song.

19) Cry Baby Cry: From the "White Album" Melodic. As if you're a member of a seance. Strong British references. No American would compose lyrics such as these:

The Dutchess of Kicaldy always smiling and arriving late for tea
The duke was having problems with a message at the local Bird and Bee.

20) Hey Jude: One of me all time favourites. But because of its overexposure on the radio, it will never be as fresh as it was in 1968, the height of flower power. Plus, it would be sacrilege not to include the 7 minute song. The Beatles at the zenith of their popularity.

There are many songs that weren't included. And these songs were formulated off the cuff, so I'm sure there are some classics I forgot. editor's note: "Yes, you did!

Damn, this was a fun foray. And the blog counts the words. Wonder how many?

Until next time, Farewell and adieu, v.c. your irreverent host and music critic for a day! 

"Last Train to Clarksville" or "Which Band Doesn't Belong, Eh?"

 
 
 
 

This is my second time writing this shit, er, foray. Believe it or not, I liked the Monkees. They made some good tunes. Their tv show was dumb and stupid, but then I was a dumb and stupid teenager at the time. Circa back in the day.

People say I monkee around, v.c.

P.S. Mickey Dolenz played "Corky" on "Circus Boy" waaaaaay back inna day. Also starred Noah Beery Jr. who later palyed James Garner's dad on "The Rockford Files." [ information provided sans google search ]

P.S.S. Michael Nesmith is/was the "Wite-Out heir. Perhaps that is why he opted not to participate in the reunion tours with the rest of the lads, circa 80's. Me and Kitty attended one of those concerts and got our freak on.

Last but not least: #103 on AOL's "the 111 wussiest songs of all time." 

"Foray To Follow"

  

"Dear Cat"

Dear Cat: How is your new job? Seems I recall your last emplyer fired your ass. Didn't you work for those forkers a long time? Didn't you introduce a recipe-was it carrot souffle???-to the masses and received zero remuneration for your efforts? What the fork is wrong with that picture? Signed: Makes you want to join the ACLU, eh?

Dear ACLU: A lot of queries so let's begin with numero uno.

1) My new job is great. I love the new work, the new atmosphere, and most of my new team members, who have slowly adjusted to my eccentric sense-of-humour. Well, some of them, anyway. I don't have to taste the food all day like at the old digs. No more slurping turnip greens and blackeye peas every coppola hours while adding #'s to the old cholesterol count. No more concerns on whether Billy put the right amount of flour in the carrot souffle, [ segue, eh? ] or if Excellious weighed the sugar before adding it to the tea. Most of the stuff we use is heat and serve; or open a bag and voila!

2) Yes, I toiled and slaved for more years than I care to remember. I worked at H.W. [ acronym for Hell Whole ] which had a sterling reputation as the baddest of the bad. Rowdy guests out the kazoo who never quit gliding down the [ serving ] line from the moment we opened, til the millivanillisecond we terminated our day's work.

3) Yes, I received nada, zip, nil when it came to the fluffy product who some pronounced as carrot shooflay. [ not intended as a bigot slur as caucasians sometimes used the same vernacular. Also see his'n for more details. ]

4) There's a lot wrong with that picture, but in the long run [ apologies to the "Eagles" ] it was for the best. Thanks for the query, v.c.

Dear Cat: I read your column every chance I get. One of your recent forays-don't you refer to them as "forays into the infantile?"-revealed your boss to be a dickhead. I'm sorry to hear that, but, Shirley, the situation will become a reservoir of material. Have you thought of penning a book entitled "You may be a dickhead if...?" Along the lines of Jeff Foxworthy, eh? Signed: No Penis Envy Here

Dear Penis Envy: The book would write itself. But will change the title to: "You are a dickhead if:"

10) You drive 55 mph or less in the left hand lane of any highway, bi-way, or interstate.

9) You have to scrounge in your purse or pocket for a penny or correct change when purchasing an item(s) while others are waiting patiently behind your dickheadness.

8) You proudly exclaim while in the midst of others: I don't eat pork; I hate 2nd hand smoke; I'm a vegan; or my child is an honor student at Dickhead Elementary!

7) You stop on a dime on a busy, crowded concourse at any metropolitan airport.

6) You work for a company for 30 years or more and are terminated. "I'll be back." Apologies to Arnold!

5) You work for Nextell information, ergo 411, and you can't give me the correct phone number I' calling you for in the first place. Do you get paid by the call? Or what?

4) If you believe I can talk to 3-4 people at one time about 3-4 different subjects.

3) If you ever ordered fries without salt at any fast food joint. Same goes for ordering a burger sans pickle.

2) If you ever told the cafeteria attendant to put more food on your plate. And vice-versa. If you are a food service technician who proudly exclaims: "That's a serving!"

1) If you are yours truly's boss, and you don't treat him with dignity and respect.

Thanks for the query! v.c.

Well, this concludes tonite's edition of "Dear Cat!"

Until next time, v.c.

P.S. There will be no videos tonite. None of the 111 wussiest tunes of all time. Nada, zip, nil.

"Maybe I'm Amazed"

 
 
 
 

# 94 of the "111 Wussiest Songs of All Time" is my main man's "Silly Love Songs," circa 1976. Wussy, perhaps, but the bass line is quite creative!

And what's wrong with that, v.c.

P.S. My friend, Marty, aka ibbq4U-2 [ no relation to the rock band that hails from overseas ] will be distressed to learn that AOL picked James Taylor as the wussiest performer of all time. Who'd a thunk it? With apologies to Carly Simon! 

"Dancin' In The Dark"

 
 
 
 

It may be sacriligious but this is one of the few Bruce Springsteen songs yours truly likes, even tho' I was born in the USA. The video co-stars a young Courtney Cox. Allah "Friends" and the "Scream trilogy!"

Submitted for your dancin' in the dark, v.c.

P.S. AOL has tabulated the 111 wussiest songs of all time. This particular one comes in at #104. Does that mean I'm a wussy??? For liking it! 

"Ah, Memories"

 
 
 

This lp [ long playing ] was first seen by yours truly circa 1970, when I was a sophomore at Truck U. My new roommate, Rick, had a whole slew of new albums and this be one of them.

It contains the classic "Almost Cut My Hair," which I once satirized with "Almost Cut My [ avocado ] Pear." Giving it a food service theme, eh?

"It increases my paranoia.
Like looking in my mirror
And seeing a po-lice car."

They don't make those kind of lyrics anymore.

The classic vinyl disc also includes "Our House," which is a nice little diddy, reminiscent of the flower power days.

Click here for the song, v.c

P.S. You put the flowers in the vase that you bought. Today ay ay ay ay.