"Jeopardy On-Line test"

I took the test tonight, so I can become the next Ken Jennings. Who won a couple of million dollars and became somewhat of a household name.

There were 50 questions. And you had 15 seconds for each answer.

They were tough.


I did know some. Yes, I did.


I knew Robert Plant, John Paul Jones and Jimmy Page were Led Zepplin, who reunited in 2007.

I knew Pearl Harbor Day is celebrated on December 7th.

I knew Jimmy Stewart played a wheelchair-bound photographer in Hitchcock's "Rear Window."


But my Shakespere is lousy. I don't even know how to spell his name. Shakespeare. There! Thank you spellcheck.


I didn't know the capital of Turkey. Gibletssansibar  is probably incorrect.


And my knowledge of current tv shows is null and void. Ask me about "Father Knows Best;" "Gilligan's Island;" or "Sky King," and I'd be good to go. Alas, it wasn't meant to be. Or "Fury" with Bobby Diamond.

I just want to say it one time. "Let's make it a true daily double, Alex!"

"Friday the 13th"

Today is Friday the 13th. I didn't know it was coming this month, but Comcast did. They have the Jason Voorhees series 1-8 on their free movies. I have watched III, IV, V, and VI.


Betsy Palmer played Mrs. Voorhees in I and II. And Kevin Bacon starred in numero uno. I knew of Betsy from "To Tell the Truth." Is it bigger than a breadbox, the, uh, thing you do?

Restaurant owner getting international attention after blasting woman after bad Yelp review

An Atlanta restaurant has become internationally famous for the owner's bad taste when a customer wrote a bad review.

The owner of the barbecue restaurant near Turner Field lashed out with an online response that's bitten back a thousand times.

A little more than a mile away from her house, Stephanie Stuck took her husband to Boners Barbecue.

"Because it's a local business and it's in our neighborhood," Stuck said.

She wasn't thrilled with the place and wrote a review on Yelp!

The owner of Boners lifted her picture and attached it to his response.

"And he went off on me," Stuck said.

"The owner posted a response on social media to other restaurant owners saying "If you see this woman in your restaurant, tell her to go outside and (expletive) herself. Yelp that, (expletive)."

Bloggers and tweeters picked it up and it went viral. Stuck showed Channel 2's Jeff Dore the tweets about it from around the world.

http://bcove.me/396nqxsa

"It's just keeps going and going and it keeps going further than that, just about this," Stuck said showing Dore all the responses she's been getting since posting her review.

It's been on Huffington Post and online lists about the worst use of social media.

"I feel bad for the guy honestly. It's a small business and he's trying really hard. It's his passion," Stuck said.

Just before news time a spokesman for the owner called us, quoting him as saying he used bad judgment and if he could take it back he would. He also apologized on Facebook, but Stuck would have to friend him to see it and so far, she has not.

"Facebook, the Social Network"

My old buddy, Hoots, is alive and well and posting on Facebook. He is a big Twitter kind of guy as well.  He posted a video on FB today about a man-just like you and me-and the annoyances he faces in a typical day.

From the kid on a skateboard he almost runs over while backing out of his driveway to waiting in line at a coffee shop and experiencing less than adequate customer service. Just a tip of the iceberg.

Suddenly from out of nowhere, a strange galoot of a man gives him a different set of glasses to peer through. He then realizes that the people annoying him are having their own inner struggles.

One needs a hug; one is co-dependent; one is shy; one fears rejection-well, you get the drift.

Of course, I responded and told Hoots that I needed a hug after viewing, and that I needed a dry handkerchief.

Typical Hoots and typical me. Another of his "I report; you decide."

I like Facebook. And I like how you can reach people you haven't seen in years. And I like playing the games. But FB is mainly for females. 

Examples from women posting there:


1) For dinner we are having country fried steak with cream gravy, blackeye peas, collards, and biscuits. What are you having?


2) My heart is touched today, because the hills are alive with the sound of music. I can almost hear the bells ringing in the dell.

3) It is so hot today. I hate hot weather. I hate cold weather too. I hate all kinds of weather. My favorite weather is 70 degrees. I hate shoveling snow. Brrr. It's so cold. What I wouldn't give to live in Florida. But they have bugs and alligators and crocodiles and hurricanes....

4) I just settled down with a good book and a cup of peppermint aloe tea. I wish my friends could be here to talk. We could squirt perfume on each other. What fun!!

5) Who hasn't flossed their teeth today.? Be sure and eat your fruits and vegetables.


6) Today is over the hump day. I wish it was Friday. Cos Saturday I'm going shopping with the girls. We're gonna squirt perfume, try on dresses, and buy designer handbags. We are giggly with excitement.

7) I'm tired! I worked hard  all day. If Siegfried thinks I'm cooking tonight, he's crazy. It's peanut butter and jelly sandwiches time.Perhaps a drizzle of perfume on my wrist will make me feel better. And a warm bubble bath with a glass of wine.


8) I love me a bubble bath. When the bubbles escape from the water  they remind me of  life. Each bubble has its own shape and trajectory. A different path if you will.

9) I think when the moon is in the Seventh House. And Jupiter aligns with Mars.Then peace will guide the planets. And love will steer the stars. My sign is Aquarius. Aquarians love a good herbal tea and perfume. Woo hoo!

10) I saw a deer in my backyard. The squirrels and chipmunks greeted him. His name is Bambi. That's what I call him anyway. I wanted to invite him in to drink some Kasbah tea, but I couldn't. Deer don't drink herbal tea! XXOO


Facebook for women? I report; you decide!

"Texas Pop Festival"

Look at the bands that played 1969-08-31 - Lewisville, Texas. Makes Woodstock look like a Franki Valli concert.

Led Zep; Chicago; Ten Years After; BB King; Janis Joplin; Santana; et al. Well, maybe it was Woodstock II. A few days after the historic concert at Yasgur's farm.

Another version of "South California Purples" to follow-my favorite CTA tune. I am you are he as you are me and we are all together. Goo goo ga joob.





P.S. Were you there Rock?


P.S.S. I saw an old Perry Mason the other night-my favorite tv show of All Time-took place in Midland, Texas. Oil country, eh?

"Texas International Pop Festival"

"Go Tebow"

Tonight's game was a dud. Big yawn. I do know the folks in N'awlins and Baton Rouge ain't too happy. My old associate manager, one cajunballsauvin, is probably having a sleepless night, because LSBooHoo lost the game. I have not talked to him in over a year, but he is crying in his yuengling tonight.

Not sure where they dined before the game, or if perhaps it was the long layoff, but the Tigers were flat. But then maybe the Tide had something to do with it. 


I did like the Bear back in the day. But I do not like Lou Saban. He got his pantiesinnawad late in the game-with victory assured-when Alabama jumped offsides ( their first penalty ).

He began berating his players for the miscue. He was a few minutes away from winning the mythical National Championship, and he was still a hard ass. 


I liked how Brent Musberger backtracked when he said that Saban may make the Tide fans forget the Bear. No chance!

The game was ho-hum. Why is the game played so late in January? Television and money, eh? Give me Tim Tebow winning in overtime any day of the week and twice on Sunday. The NFL is more exciting and unpredictable. Except for the refs factor.


They screwed the Lions Saturday night. On a Drew Brees fumble, which should have given the Lions a 21-7 lead, and the generous first down awarded???? them early in the third quarter while backed up in their own territory If that was a  first down then my name is Jerry Clower or Huey Long or Billy Cannon or Billy Joke Tolliver.

Anyway, I can't wait for this weekend's games. And it's been a long time since I couldn't get excited about the bowl games.LSBoohoo!

P.S. Go Tebow!

'The Artist' Director Michel Hazanavicius's Five Favorite Hollywood Films

....So, we asked the director what were his five favorite English-language films. He politely and enthusiastically complied -- but told Yahoo! that if asked again, don't be surprised if he also included "The Godfather," "The Big Lebowski," "Citizen Kane," "The Third Man" or "Raging Bull." in the below but wanted to mention them anyway.

His five are:

1) "The Apartment" ( Great b/w movie from Billy Wilder. Co starred Fred MacMurray  as a heel ).


2) "The Night of the Hunter" What a performance from Robert Mitchum. Scared the beejeesus out of me when I was just a kid ).

3) "North by Northwest"  ( One of Hitchcock's best ).


4) "To Be or Not to Be" ( Have never seen this one and me a supposed film buff ).

5) "Rio Bravo" ( Somewhat of a surprise, eh?, but the Duke was in a class by himself ).

"Hello Houston"

Country music was never my bag, but I loved the "Urban Cowboy" soundtrack. Great songs. And a great movie. "Do you two-step?"

"Good Whiskey Never Lets You Lose Your Place" or The Restaurant Biz: One Flew Over the Looney Bin"

I ran across this one by accident. An old post of mine.


A few years ago I had a quick stay in the looney bin. Took some vacation time so no one would know. Briggs, my boss, called my first day back. He was on my ass for something already, and I hadn’t been in the door 5 minutes.


He did ask about my vacation.


I told him the fishing was great and that I had resumed surfing, a passion of mine back in the day. “Gotta make that one last ride,” I told him.


Briggs said goodbye and I tried to concentrate on my work. But my mind kept drifting back to my stay in the looney bin. Modern technology is great. The guys in my group ( bin ) were nice. Most were ex restaurant mgrs., some fast food and some from the corral. One group member was an Indian, who went by the name of Cherokee Fiddle. In our focus group, he kept singing “good whiskey never lets you lose your place.”


I made a mental note to remember that sage advice on my exit from the bin. If it worked so well, why was he in here?


Anyway, I needed to get moving and take care of business. It was the day after payday. And it’s always rowdy after getting paid. Never know who's gonna show up. Sometimes the team members call, sometimes they don’t. Too bad we don’t close the next day after getting paid. We could get a professional sign made, put ads in the paper and on t.v.


“Due to the lack of participation of our team members after payday, [ our store ] will be closed every Friday.” The guests would miss seafood schizophrenia. And v.c. basa or catfish, depending on your proximity to Louisiana.


Team member Billy did call to say he couldn’t work because the ants in his ant farm had expired. He was seeking grief counseling. He would call back when the psychiatrist released him. I suggested he call Dr. Myeyes. And even gave him the number. And the # to the bin.


Team member Suzy called and said her play 6th cousin was having an unscheduled emergency operation today and couldn’t work. Some kind of ectomy. The play cousin meant a lot to her and Suzy wanted to be there. I gave her Dr. Myeyes # in case there was any grief relief needed. I could relate, having had my own erectomy problems lately. Thank god for the free 6 pack Myeyes gave me.


I don’t know why I continue to recommend Dr. Myeyes. His advice to me on RKN [ Rowdy Kids Nite ] was useless. And his fee is exorbitant.


Things got worse. The fry cook showed up in a foul mood. Myeyes had suggested AA for his predicament. But he stopped at step 2. He plans on returning to the program if he wins the lottery. He keeps getting behind on the fried chicken. I was tempted to retreat to the car where I keep my 44. I had read that somewhere. Maybe it would work.


Then Briggs called again and said I had made the list. While driving to work I had seen a bumper sticker which read, “My son made the principal’s list at Rowdy High.” Another case of the force known as synchronicity. Being on any list would be a good thing.


“Thanks, Briggs,” I said confidently. Earlier he was chewing my ass for some obscure transgression. Now I had made the list.


“You're #1 on my shit list, Charlie.” he said.


“I’m sorry, Briggs. What didn’t I do? Cucumbers cut the wrong size? Mysterious shopper score too low? White pepper not from McCormick? Potatoes from Colorado? Too many unread e- mails?”


“No, Charlie. You’re on the list because I just don’t like you.”


As Briggs was berating away and making me feel bad, I remembered Cherokee’s advice, having brought a bottle from home for this type of emergency. While Briggs was still ranting, I began pouring the first of many shots, chug-a-lugging them as the bottle slowly emptied. The door was closed ( new directive ) and no one could see me.


As Briggs was going on and on and on, I heard a knock at the door. It was Cherokee. He had just left the looney bin. He said leaving Nurse Ratchet was hard but it was time to move on. I returned to the phone and told Briggs that I would work on my shortcomings. ( it was probably the whiskey talking )


It was good to see Cherokee. I felt bad that my bottle was a shot away ( apologies to the Stones,' "Gimme Shelter" ) but old Cherokee had come prepared. He displayed a fifth of whiskey from out of nowhere.


"Good whiskey never lets you lose your place," he said.


End of Part One.


Farewell and adieu, v.c.

"Wal Mart"

Not sure how accurate these figures are. But here they are. I received the e mail from my Uncle. The rest of the e mail suggests Wal Mart run the country, so we can get out of this malaise. Hmmm! Not sure about that one.

1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart every hour of every day.

2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!

3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March
17th) than Target sells all year.

4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target +Sears + Costco +
K-Mart combined.

5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the world's largest private
employer, and most speak English.

6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.

7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway combined, and keep
in mind they did this in only fifteen years.

8. During this same period, 31 big supermarket chains sought

bankruptcy.

9.. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.

10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super
Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had five years ago.

11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur at
Wal-Mart stores. (Earth's population is approximately 6.5 Billion.)

12. 90% of all Americans live within fifteen miles of a Wal-Mart.

"My Daddy Was a Pistol; And I'm a Son-of-a-Gun"

One of my favorite books. I connected with it on many levels, as they say these days.

Lewis was born in 1945 and grew up in Moreland, Ga., which is just 20 or so miles from here. Rural small town Georgia. I grew up in the heart of Atlanta, but the stories he recounts are similar to mine. 

Lewis' dad was an alcoholic and could never "get himself straightened out." My dad was no alcoholic to my knowledge, and left the North Forty when I was young, similar to Lewis' dad. Lewis' dad was a Captain in the army and was a prisoner of war in Korea. He also served in World War II. My dad was in charge of the spuds on a ship of some sort during WWII. Not sure if he graduated above Seaman. Or saw combat.

His parents divorced. Mine divorced. Both remarried. We both resented our stepdads. Lewis' father died at an early age. ( 56 ) My dad lived to be just shy of 80.

I love this book. I appreciate the humor. The wonderful stories of growing up.

Like the first time Lewis "lit up" in front of his dad: "Dad, I smoke." The two of them were en route to the hospital to see Lewis' wife, who was suffering with gastritis. 

"Well, son, if you're old enough to be married, I guess you're old enough to smoke."

"Vanilla Fudge" and "Sheeyet Far!"

My Picasa, which allows me to post pix, is going awry. My  posting mechanism is screwed up too. I just finished writing something for the blog, and it disappeared. Without saving.it.

"Sheeyet Far." Credited to a female character in Lewis Grizzards' "My Daddy was a Pistol, and I'm a Son-of-a-Gun." One of my favorite books but that's another story.

My story that disappeared into the nether regions of space dealt with the Vanilla Fudge, who I saw in concert in the late 60's. ( Guess it should read "whom I saw" but that's a bit prissy, eh? )

Bands in those days had names like the "Strawberry Alarm Clock";  "Canned Heat"; and the "Electric Prunes." 

What a shock to my parents' generation who grew up listening to Sinatra, Lombardo and Bing Crosby. The World War II Generation had songs with intelligible words and love ballads with romantic themes. "How Much is that Doggie in the Window" and "Que Sera Sera" were replaced with "Goddamn the Pusher Man"; "I Had Too Much to Dream Last Night"; and "Eight Miles High."


The Fudge looked like young preppie adults on their first album cover, but by the time I saw them, they had progressed to hippie status full-blown.

"Love and Marriage" had been replaced with "Hey, Joe where you going with that gun in your hand!"

Orca attacks shark in surf zone as beachgoers watch in awe

Orcas, more than sharks, are atop the marine food chain, and that became strikingly apparent this week at Blue Cliffs Beach off New Zealand, where at least one orca mounted a prolonged assaulted on sharks in the surf zone, as witnesses watched in amazement (see video).

"New Years Resolutions"

It's that time of the year again. New Years Resolutions. It needs no introduction, because we, as denizens of this world, have all made 'em. We have had successes, and, alas, we have had our failures. So without further adieu, here are some I've overheard and some I know of firsthand.


1) Ruby, my mom, wants to continue having good b.m.'s. Bowel movements for the uninformed. Did George Carlin ever weigh in on that universal saying: "take a crap." Take a crap where? Where do you want me to take my crap? Etc.


2) Buddy A little impish dog I know who has vowed not to dig holes in the backyard. And under the fence, so he can make his getaway. It's his  rebellious but adventurous side, but he has come to realize that dangers lurk afoot. Automobiles, golf carts, and wild animals.


3) Cat ( yours truly ), pledges to write more forays into the infantile. Exercise more. And lose weight. Since my trip to San Fran, this writer from Ga. has lost 15-20 lbs. Depending on which way the wind blows and other variables.


Because my publishing deadline is at hand-I'm curious to see if the Tebow train is getting ready for derailment-this foray into the infantile is kaput, fini'.


Happy New Year!!!