"Why I Love the Food Biz"

"Paul McCartney Concert"

Yeah, it was great. Lots of music-of course-and lots of pizazz.

Yeah, it rained for about 15 minutes water-logging my left shoe and soaking my shirt and pants.

Yeah, it was good to see my boyhood idol and listen to all the old songs. Even if he didn't sing "Maybe I'm Amazed." I guess that's what happens when love turns sour. And the ex-wife wants a ton of alimony.

Yeah, the concert was great. And the crowd was interesting, especially the women who were territorial when it came to their outstretched blankets. Don't step on them, cos you know-and I know-how anal women are.

I met two young couples, one who both worked for TCM.

"My favorite channel," I told them.

The husband was an accountant and his wife a publicist. I was impressed when she told me she worked with Robert Osborne, famed host of TCM. And being Mr. Trivia, I mentioned to them how Robert got his start on the "Lucy Show," not to be confused with "I Love Lucy."

They were more impressed with yours truly, when I just happened to let it out of the bag that I had seen the Fab 4 in person in 1965.

"Hey, he's seen the Beatles," the hubby said to everyone in ear shot of his voice. Because of this distinction, I became an instant crowd celebrity.

The crowd was young, too. Which impressed me. And they knew the words to most of the songs. Which really impressed me.

"Helter Skelter," which helped inspire Charles Manson to his dastardly deeds; "Yesterday;" "Drive My Car;" "I Saw Her Standing There;" and "Hey Jude" were just a few of the songs. "H.J." has to be the best sing-along song evah.

Yeah, it was great. Kinda like being at Woodstock, circa '69. Except for no sex-none that I saw-no Jimi Hendrix or Janis Joplin, and we all paid to get in. There was plenty of beer at 7 bucks a pop, and the smell of cannabis wafted through the old mucous membranes a time or two.

A splendid time was guaranteed for all, and my main man came through as usual. Can't wait til the next one.


This is the song that opened the show!



Actual footage and I was there.

"Literal Video-'Total Eclipse of the Heart'"

Saw this on "Nightline" last night. These are the newest rage on youtube ( literal videoes ). This one is hilarious.



And this one from the 60's is pretty good.

For Yasgur's Farm

Seems the 40 year celebration of Woodstock is upon us. Time flies when yer havin' fun.
A lot of shit has gone down since then.Wonder if Town Hall meetings were in vogue then? I don't recall any.

"Town Hall Meeting Want Ad?"

 

"Town Hall Meeting"

I was gonna write about my experience at my first town hall meeting concerning health care, but then I remembered Paul McCartney is coming to town Saturday afternoon, so that tale will have to be delayed a bit.

The concert is at Piedmont Park where they recently discovered dead fish floating on top of the water in a lake which dots the landscape. Seems the poor creatures died of asphyxiation. And the odor was unbearable according to witnesses.

"You fucking Nazi. Sit down and shut the fuck up"

Sorry! Forgot the foray into the infantile is about Paul Mac arriving in town to give a concert for charity.

"How much did they pay you to come here? Nazi!"

Saturday at 5 p.m. is when the festivities begin.

"Shut the fuck up. What do you think this is? A democracy or something?"

Sorry. Sir Paul, ex Fab 4 member, is the message here.

"Your un-American if you don't like this plan. Seig heil, you nazi bastard."

It's gonna be good. See you there. I can't wait. And from what I understand, the fish have left the building.

"Someone Got Excited-Had to Call the State Militia"

She may be weary. Thanks to an encore presentation of "Bull Durham" on TBS tonite.



Two incredible live performances from back in the daze.

It's Almost Tuesday Nite

....so I could go to a movie. I could play poker ( Texas Hold 'Em ) at Y Knot's Sports Bar here on Golden Pond or I could watch an old movie on TCM-an old Joan Crawford or Clark Gable classic- or I could watch endless youtube videos on the computer....

Or I could watch the sunset-wouldn't that be thrilling?-or clean up the kitchen and make my bed or....

What should I be doing? I should be....dancing. So what am I doing on my back?


On second thought I'd rather be at the hop!



Everybody rock!

It's Friday Night

....so I could go to a movie. I could play poker ( Texas Hold 'Em ) at Y Knot's Sports Bar here on Golden Pond or I could watch an old movie on TCM-an old Bette Davis or Cary Grant classic- or I could watch endless youtube videos on the computer....

Or I could watch the sunset-wouldn't that be thrilling?-or clean up the kitchen and make my bed or....

What should I be doing? I should be....dancing. So what am I doing on my back?

The new Dallas Cowboys Stadium will offer $90 pizzas

According to the Cowboys, the 20-inch pizzas at the new stadium will cost $60, not $90 as reported. (That's the same price they were in the suites at Texas Stadium.) There will be five different types of pizza available for that price. Beer will be sold for $5.

As for the $90 pizza, that's the cost for a plain pizza. No word on how much each topping costs but, suffice it to say, if you're a fan of pepperoni you may want to consider refinancing your mortgage before you head down to watch the Cowboys.

 

 

"More Traffic Needed" Sex Sells

I've got to figure out a way to increase traffic on Golden Pond. And sex may be the way to go. Pictures of nudes, semi-nudes, persons dabbling in oral pleasures, rear entries, semi-rear entries, pix of big breasteses, small breasts, lesbians gettin' it on, semi-lesbians gettin' it on.

So look for more sex in G.P. and titles like:

Long Dong Silver Hi-Hoe and Away

Debbie Does Philly

Behind the Screen Door

Deep Throat; Deeper Throat; Deepest Throat

Scarlett Takes a Tumble ( for real )

You Want to Put It Where


I Thought Only Jewish Girls Did That

Interracial Tongue Lashing

Uranus Bashing

Sexual Asian Rationing ( Sideways Production )

BB Booty Fashioning

Prissy Passioning

Works for me. New marketing on the way

"Newest IPhone To Include A Grain of Sand From the Ark of the Covenant"

Yes, folks. Get yours today! Use the special feature to ISmite people on your contact list. There's a few in mine that I would just love to send an ISmite message.

"King of Pop"

The hoopla over Michael Jackson's death is still raging. Did the doctor kill him? Etc. And I haven't followed much of it....at all. Not sure why except that I wasn't one of his big fans. I wasn't into the Jackson 5 music back in the daze, because I was more into rock and roll and heavy metal.

But yesterday I watched the "Jackson 5" movie, which chronicled the band's rise in the 60's. From local talent shows to playing in "hootchie-coochie" bars to signing with Motown Records.

In the movie Joe Jackson, the dad, was portrayed as being a strict disciplinarian. If one of the boys screwed up a dance routine or sang off-key, he was banished to the front yard to get a switch. Hmmm. Not sure I could have made the grade if I had been a member, cos I definitely can't do the moonwalk or the robot. "Beat it" eh?

Last night I watched Michael in a concert from 2001. It was great watching him and rekindled a lot of old memories, especially from the early 80's. "Slash" from "Guns N' Roses" played lead guitar on a few of the numbers. But it was also sad to see the way he had to hold the microphone while dancing and singing. I'm guessing here, but it must have been the many plastic surgeries. It was also sad to see the bleached face and pointy nose. God only knows what a person of his stature endures.

The one thing that blew me away when he died was the fact he was 50 years old. Which made me realize how old I am. It was just incomprehensible to me that Michael Jackson could be 50 years old. Or my being 39. Where does the time go?

So, farewell, Michael. Say hello to John and George for me. RIP, dude. And thanks for all of the memories.

Submitted for your approval, my favorite M.J. song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUi2UCPe7Yo&feature=channel

"Salty Dog"

Postscript: The following was written one Saturday afternoon when I still had Saturday's off. It was written completely off the cuff and took me a few hours. Whiskers is based on "Jaws," < duh! > the movie, and my favorite flick of all time. The characterizations, the dialogue, the intrigue-plus I've always been a big sci-fi fan-the sunny beaches, the actors, just the whole damn thing makes it my favorite. Apologies to "Gone with the Wind," "Casablanca," "Citizen kane," and "i was a teenage werewolf. Submitted for your approval and perusal:

A movie:


Scene 1: Young adults sitting around a campfire. On a sandy beach. Waves cascading in the background. Drinking beers. Having fun.
One young male eyes a young female. She eyes him back. He wants to get naked. She gets naked. He tries to get naked. She wants to go skinny dipping. He wants to do something else.
Girl swims out into the water. He's still trying to get naked.
Girl is suddenly attacked by something in the water. Young man is looking for his beer and trying to get his pants off.

Scene 2: Sheriff Labroddie wakes up at his house on the island. Only an island if you look at it from the sea. Kisses his wife. Scolds the kids. Gets a phone call. From the young male from scene 1.
Young male wants to report that Prissy may have drowned. That was her name. He thinks. But he was drunk.
Labroddie discounts the story. Makes obligatory
sweep. Finds girl washed up on the beach. Looks like she's been attacked by something.

Scene 3: Labroddie wants to close the beaches.
Coroner, Mr. Quincy, tells him that a shark attack was the reason for the girl's death. Paints signs. "No Swimming." To be posted all over the island.

Scene 4: Mr. Springer, the mayor, finds out that Labroddie wants to close the beaches. Finds Labroddie on the ferry. With his signs and paint cans.
Springer: "You gonna close the beaches, Rotino?( Labroddie's first name ) On whose authority?"
Rotino: "On my authority." He didn't know he had to check with anyone.
Rotino says there's a big fish in the waters. And boy scouts are doing their mile swim. He's worried.
Springer tells him that the coroner made a mistake. Wasn't a shark but a boat's propellers. They've never had that kind of trouble in these waters.
Springer tells Rotino that the 4th of July is looming. Might be a panic. Labroddie acquiesces.

Scene 5: Everybody from Damnity Island is at the beach. Swimming and having fun. Kids are splashing in the water. A young man is throwing a stick into the water. His dog is retrieving.
Labroddie is pensive as he sits on the beach. He worries about deferring to Labroddie.
A lttle kid named Jason runs up to his mother, Mrs. Voorhees, who's sunning herself on the beach. He wants to go back in the water. She looks at his prunish hands, but lets him go back in the water. He jumps on a raft. Splahes about. Having fun.
Young man with dog hollers out: "Toto, Toto."
Toto has disappeared. Show stick floating on the water.
Jason disappears, too. Mrs. Voorhees looks around for Jason. Big fish is eating him.

Scene 6) Damnity calls a meeting. Everyone wants to know if they are going to close the beaches. Everybody's talking at once. Chaos. Suddenly a terrible sound emanates from the back of the room. A finger on a chalkboard. The finger belongs to an old salty dog and shark fighter. Mr Quick.
"You all know how I make a living. I'll find this bad fish. Shake it and bake it. Get your businesses back on a paying basis, so you won't have to go on welfare this winter"
He values his life more than $3000. Mrs. Voorhees reward. Gonna take more. He wants a quart of watermelon jelly every day plus $20,000. Plus expenses. Springer takes plan under advisement.

Scene 7: Labroddie calls in help. Matt Scooper from the Oceanagraphic Institute. Damnity's fishermen throw chum in the water. Throw firecrackers. Everybody wants the reward from Mrs. V. Somebody catches a huge tiger shark. Everybody's happy. Mrs. V shows up in black and slashes Labroddie with a knife. He's o.k. But she delivers a poignant soliloquy. Tells Labroddie that the girl from scene 1 had been killed by the big fish and he didn't do anything about it. Labroddie's depressed. Springer tries to cheer him up. Quick drives by in his boat. The "HOKI." Scooper measures bite radius.

Scene 8) Scooper dines with Labroddie and wife.
Brings wine. Wants to let it breathe.


Labroddie says to his wife that Hooper is into sharks. Everyone laughs. After drinking the bottle of wine, they decide to cut open the tiger shark. Half ass autopsy. To see if it's the man eater.
Scooper cuts open the tiger. Came from southern waters. From the ailimentary canal, Scooper pulls out a La. license plate, a hoki swallowed whole, and a takeout plate from Piccadilly ( vienna sausage el grande ).
Scooper and Labroddie get on Scooper's boat. His vessell has a state of the art fish finder.
They see an abandoned boat through the haze. It's Ring Lardner's boat. Scooper dives into the water with his scuba gear. Sees a big hole in the rectal of the boat. Pulls a long whisker from the hole. 20 footer. 25 footer. Ring Lardner's head suddenly appears. Frightens Scooper. Drops the whisker. Hauls ass back to his boat.

Scene 9) Springer, Labroddie, and Scooper are in front of a billboard. The message says "Welcome To Damnity's Big 4th of July Regatta." A lady is pictured. Swimming on a raft at the beach. Some paint happy bastards have drawn a large great white vietnamese catfish swimming menacingly towards the lady. "Help, catfish!" says the caption.
Scooper is irate. Springer doesn't believe the story about the catfish.
Springer: "Dropped the whisker, eh. Did you see it, Labroddie?" He says no and looks away.
Scooper says the fish is a mutant. A great white catfish. A charcharodon carcharis catfishis. Scooper urges Labroddie and Springer to close the beaches.

Scene 10) More people are eaten. A man loses a leg. All of Damnity see the giant catfish swim away from the pond. Labroddies' son is in shock. Wife brings him a harvest cake from Piccadilly, while he's recuperating in the hospital. Springer is visibly shaken. Labroddie makes him hire Quick.

Scene 11) Quick and Scooper and Labroddie are going fishing for the catfish. On the Hoki.
Scooper brings an anti-catfish cage. Quick makes fun of him.

Scene 12) Labroddie's throwing out chum. Quick gets a nibble. Quick sits himself in the captain's chair. Locks himself in. Scooper thinks he's only snagged a stingray. Wants Quick to cut it loose. Scooper bumps his head on the deck, when the catfish takes the chum and runs. Scooper says that busting his head doesn't mean anything.
"It means one thing Mr. Scooper. That you college boys aren't man enough to admit when you're wrong."
Quick drinks a can of beer. Smashes the can in his hand. Scooper smashes a 20 oz. styrofoam cup.

Scene 13) They have a close encounter with the catfish. Quick springs into action. Shoots the 25 foot cat. Quick's got one barrell on him.
Quick, as he reels the mutant in says: "He's either a very smart catfish or a very dumb catfish. It's too easy. He's very smart. I think he's gone under the boat. I think he's gone under the boat." Quick hollers at Scooper. Night falls. Day one of fighting the catfish is over.

Scene 14) All three men are whipped. They get drunk. They share war stories.
Quick's encounter with the great white whale. Scooper's scar from the raptor, while filming Jurrasic Park.
Quick's brush with the beast.
Scooper's close call with the coelocanth.
Labroddie looks at his appendix scar and says nothing.
Scooper catches a glimpse at Quick's arm and asks him what the tatoo used to say.
Evidently, Quick had tried to have it removed.
"U.S.S. Piccadilly, Mr. Scooper."
Scooper: "You were on the Piccadilly?"
Quick's mood changes from jovial to somber.
"We had just delivered the bomb. The Azam Malik bomb." Labroddie looks incredulous.
"On our return, somebody launched a torpedo into our hull. And the Piccadilly sunk into the water.
Thousands of men went into the water. And there were catfish in the water. You ever look into a catfish's eyes, Rotino? He's got lifeless eyes. Like a doll's."
Labroddie had never looked into the eyes of a catfish.

Quick continues the tale of carnage. How the men of the sunken Piccadilly were left to fend for themselves in the water.
How some of his mates were bitten in half by tiger catfish. How the sea water turned red.
How the mission was top secret. And how they
weren't listed overdue for weeks.
He says he was most afraid waiting for his turn to be rescued, when the relief plane finally arrived.
"I'll never wear a life jacket again."
Like men with their heads in a noose, they start singing "show me the way to go home."
The great white catfish comes back home, too. And butts the boat with its large whiskers.
Quick is certifiable.

Scene 15) By now the great white has 3 barrells in him. The barrells surface. Quick can't believe it. Scooper wonders aloud to Quick if he's ever met such a tough foe as this catfish.
"No."

Scene 16) All hell is breaking loose. The ship is full of holes. The crew looks worried. Quick asks Scooper if he brought anything with him to kill the catfish.
"All I've got is a case of TQC sweet potato pie filling. 4 one gallons.
"Great!" says Quick.
Scooper pulls out a syringe. Puts the tqc sweet potato pie filling into the syringe.

"You can get that little needle through his skin, Scooper?"

"No, but if I get close enough, I can squirt some into his mouth. That'll kill him."

"How?"

"Anti-catfish cage."

"He'll tear that cage apart."

No one had any better ideas. The boat was leaking and the motor was shot. Quick had smashed the onboard telephone. Labroddie was mad as hell.

Scene 17) Scooper descends into the water, supposedly protected by the cage. His syringe, filled with tqc sweet potato pie filling, is in his hands. Scooper is nervous.

Scooper is blind sided by the catfish. Is eaten alive. Labroddie and Quick try to hoist the cage, but it's too late.

The catfish emerges from the depths of the ocean and jumps onto the Hoki. He swallows Quick whole. The boat is sinking. And Labroddie is the only one left. He grabs his gun and heads for the crow's nest of the boat.
The top of the boat is teetering closer and closer to the water.

It doesn't look good for Labroddie as the catfish keeps returning, attempting to swallow him in one gulp.

The catfish is close to eating him when Labroddie grabs an air tank that Scooper had brought along. And pushes it into the catfish' mouth. A gallon of TQC pie filling falls in, too. Unopened.

"Dammit," cries Labroddie. "If only that pie filling jar had been opened."

The catfish glides away, but comes back for the final sweep. Labroddie is dangerously close to the water.

He fires at the catfish. Once, twice, three times, nothing.

The air tank and pie filling are in the cat's mouth. Labroddie hits the air tank with a perfect shot. The cat keeps advancing.

Time for one last shot. "Smile you son of a bitch." Another perfect shot. Hits the TQC pie filling. The catfish explodes.

Labroddie is elated. He's safe. And the great white mutant catfish is destroyed.

Labroddie mourns the loss of his fallen comrades and paddles towards the shore.

The End

"It Keeps You Running"

I know what it means to hide your heart....from a long time ago.

"Saved 'About Me'-The Newest One Is To Your Left"

Phase 1 in which Harry gets his oats. It's time for a new "about me." Most of you are holding your baited breaths and can't wait, Shirley. I love da movies; and I love da music, particularly the 4 lads from Liverpool aka da Beatles. I won't bore you with how I stood transfixed in front of my tiny black and white tv set back in the day and watched-along with 70-80 million people-as those 4 talented songsters weaved their indelible magic. It was gonna be a wild ride for the next 6 years.

Casablanca; the 7th Voyage of Sinbad; and Jaws are 3 of my favorite movies. Workwise: I am a displaced worker in the food-biz industry. All jobs suck, I guess, but nowhere can you find the hilarity and passive-aggressiveness that permeates the soul of foodbizdom. I have been writing this old blog for nigh on 4-5 years. Thanks to my friend and confidant, hootsbuddy. Anyone who wanders here, I hope you enjoy the show; you are such a lovely audience, I'd like to take you home with me, I'd love to take you home!

"Paul McCartney is Coming to Piedmont Park"

Who would have thunk it? Piedmont Park of all places. But he's a'coming. And, yes, I bought a ticket. No way I can pass this up.

I've been listening to "Rubber Soul" lately-got to tune into "Revolver" soon-haven't listened to that one in a while, a cornucopia of different sounds. So from "Rubber Soul" here's Johnny!

"When We Was Fab"

The old restaurant chain where I used to work and the Fab 4 was once Fab. Great video from George. Very clever....and Fab.