"Hapy Mother's Day-In August?"

I have perused the old posts and would like to keep them for prosperity's sake. What better place to store them: On Golden Pond. From August 9, 2004. It was posted from an Alan Smithee. For the uninformed Alan Smitheeis a director who's embarrassed by his movie and doesn't want his real name associated with it.

editor's note: The following post was found in Alan Smithee's archives yesterday. Seems the post was scheduled for this past Mother's Day. For what ever reason, it never saw the lite of day. Because most of you may not be around next M.D., the following "Lost in the Vault" post is submitted for your approval/perusal:

We will suspend, albeit temporarily, the scheduled post that was to make its debut tonite. It was a tossup between "Another Bedtime Story" or "Offline with Hoots 2." But because its Mother's Day, we will pay homage to all you mothers.

When we first arrive in this crazy world, most moms are there to nurture us. To scold us when we do bad and to praise us when we do good. My mom was no different. The following is an IM conversation we had earlier today. Because she lives many nautical miles from the pond, me and kitty and the family weren't able to make the voyage to visit. And here's hoping she won't mind me sharing this with the world, er, PIC world.

"Happy Mother's Day, Mom."

"Alan. Is that you? So good to hear from you! How are things in N'awlins?"

"Everybody's fine, mom. We've got a big pot of jambalaya simmering on the stove. Kitty's making crawfish pie and filet gumbo as we speak."

"How is Briggs? And how are things at H.W.?"

"Briggs sends his regards and H.W. is H.W. How are you?"

"I'm fine, son. How are the little whiskersnappers, Katlin and Charlie Jr.?"

"Katlin is at the mall spending money, as usual. Charlie is perusing the streets on his Harley. He just got a new tattoo.

"Fritz, your brother, called a few minutes ago. And sent me a lovely bouquet of flowers. He couldn't talk long-he was on his way to hear Michael Moore speak at the Haight. And then he was off to order Dennis Kucinich's audio tapes at Barnes/Noble."

"Still the ultra left winger, eh, Mom."

"I'm afraid so, Alan. Poor, Fritz. He hasn't been the same since he fell out of the window onto his head in our old garage apartment back in the day. Yes, those were simpler times. I see you're still trying to engage the identity of pictruandtru. Any luck?"

"Well, I've narrowed it down to Dale Brown or Clyde the Glide Malmberg."

"I always thought he was Stromile Swift. You have become a bit redundant. Didn't you use that one once before?"

"Mom, I can't keep up with all the challenges. Since Hoots has vacated the title of Mr. Archive, it makes my job a lot harder."

"I've noticed a lot of spelling and grammatical errors in your posts, lately. And, son, it's eminent domain, not imminent domain."

"Mom, you know I'm just a cafeteria manager who worked his way up from prep cook to manager at the enigmatic H.H and H.W."

"But me and your dad had such hi-hopes for you.
Communal living wasn't a fit for you. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Mom. Even tho apologies are the "in" thing these days. Everything's fine cos we're jammin' at the Potpurri. But here's wishing you the happiest of Mother's Days. I love you!"

"I love you, son. And would you please reconsider a wardrobe change. I, er, the world can see your private, er, family jewels."

"It's all show biz, Mom. Happy Mother's Day. Farewell and adieu, your son, v.c.

 

"Concert for Bangladesh"

I remember it well. 40 years ago. Ravi Shankar had asked George Harrison for help.

My friend came to me
With sadness in his eyes.
Told me that he wanted help
Before his country dies.

They have the streaming video on the link. Bob Dylan performed; Billy Preston; Leon Russell; Eric Clapton; and Ravi Shankar. And Ringo was on drums.

P.S. The streaming video is over after today. So here's the song! I listened to "Bangladesh" tonite while I was editing my foray. The sound quality is superb. I had goosebumps listening to this song, which took me back a long long time ago. The Fab 4 were amazing. Also, this is the first concert for charity, way before Farm Aid and Kool Aid.

P.S. I don't need no wah wah!

 

 

"Seafood Diet"

I have always been on a seafood diet. Love me some seafood. My body is a testament of my loving seafood.

When I quit smoking in 1981-yes, the dark ages-my body was so enamored of seafood that it ballooned to 50 more lbs. in a matter of months. Ever since, I have experienced the yo-yo syndrome. Lose, gain, lose, gain, lose, gain but mainly gain. All due to seafood.

When I resumed smoking-cough, cough-in 1990-I had lost the 50 lbs. What a 360, eh? And it was back to smoking and seafood.

Love me some seafood. Hamburgers; pizza; chips and dip; barbecue; french fries; chicken fingers, toes, breasts, and wings; guacamole; fried pickles ( thanks to any restaurants serving this new fare ); ham; meatballs and spaghetti; fried fish with gobs of tartar sauce; and various pies and cakes.

I should write a book and name it "V.C.'s Seafood Diet." or "How I've Gained and Lost More Weight than Haystacks Calhoun."

Yep. Love me some seafood.

"Follow-Up"

At my first posting this afternoon, the bid on Ebay for the Casey Anthony mask was $24,200. With less than 30 minutes to go, it is selling for slightly less than one million dollars. Wow! It is now 8:38 est.

Here's the description:

Halloween is only a few months away. Forget Freddy, Jason, Meyers, here's your chance to scare the *#&% out of everyone and win every costume contest with this amazing Tot Mom latex rubber mask, possibly the most frightening mask on the planet. And I can almost guarantee it's the 'only' Casey mask on the planet. Sculpted to precision for a parody video by enigmatic pop artist / sculptor Torro, only 9 of these film props were made for production and I got my hands on a few after the video wrapped. One of the best Halloween masks I've ever seen. This one is in excellent condition and it is numbered 6 of 9. I kept one for myself because I know these will be priceless. A significant piece of crime history. No matter what your opinion of the trial is, this is still one heck of a conversation piece. I bet Nancy Grace would love one of these. Fits most heads sizes comfortably. Let's never forget poor Caylee. Production used prop, item sold as is. Free shipping in the Cont. U.S. Feel free to ask any questions. International shipping, ask me for a price quote. Good luck.

"Casey Anthony Mask"

 

The bidding in the picture is $60.00. At 1:38 pm it is now up to $22,400. Wow!

"Need Some Privacy"

 

Thanks to Donna for sending me this. A little redneck ingenuity.

"Get Yer Ya Ya's Out"

 

Thanks to my old high school chum who dominates my Facebook page, I found out that Mick Jagger is 68 years old today. Who would have ever thunk that? Not me.

I remember Mick singing on the Ed Sullivan show with "I Can't Get No Satisfaction." And the Stones copied the Beatles by adding a sitar to their later 60's songs, most notably "Paint It Black."

And I remmeber Mick saying "I just busted a button on me trousers; hope they don't fall down. You wouldn't want me trousers to fall down now, would you?" at one of his early 70's concerts.

Good thing I knew what trousers were, cos we called 'em pants here in the states.

Happy Birthday, Mick. Rock on and steady.

P.S. My favorite Stones song appears down below. I used to sign off my posts with the title song.

 

"Angst Less" or "Another Post From Yesteryear"

I'm sorry if my brief absence caused any angst, but kudos to Smitty for attempting to engage the bored, altho he failed miserably.

Just got through downloading that immortal classic from back in the day, "journey to the center of the mind, the mind, the mind" by the amboy dukes via Ted Nugent. Ah, they don't make 'em....

There are a lot of important things happening out there in the cosmos that have engaged my attention. < and the reason for your angst in my absence >

1) John Scary, er, Kerry might not win the democratic nomination after all.

2) Elton John claims there is racism afoot in the american idol debacle.

3) Parris Hilton just came out with her new rap record and video.

4) Bronco Billy is engaging my services for the recipe: fish dust casserole. Thought he had it in the dark recesses of his mind, his mind, his mind, but he can't remember if it calls for one or two cans of salmon.

5) Which brings up the debate. Is salmon pronounced sal-mon or sa-mon. < see the southern history test >

6) Briggs is becoming a more kinder/gentler regional manager. Apollo g's to George Bush Sr.

7) Heather Locklear is on the west wing, a rerun, of course, and is looking good with her hot legs. Da ya think she's sexy?

8) The steroids issue is heating up in baseball. They want to pump you up! Apollo g's to Hans and Franz and Heather Heliyum.

9) Hoots returned leaving me angstless and giving me closure, which was engaging.

10) And since I can't think of any more and it's past my bedtime, you may now disembark the nite train. All laborde!

farewell and adieu, v.c.

 

 

Hiram woman cleans up with $10,000 win

ATLANTA – A Hiram woman is having loads of fun with her second Georgia Lottery prize in two months. Diana Singh won $10,000 from being selected as one of 10 winners from the latest monthly Maximum Green Extra Chance drawing.

In May Singh won a seven-night vacation package for two playing the instant game Royal Caribbean Cruise for Cash.

“I just got back from the cruise,” she exclaimed. “I won that on Mother’s Day.”....

P.S. The last thing I won was a hard time. Selah!

From the Archives

May 30, 2004

"Hang on to your hopes my friend
That's an easy thing to say
But if your hopes should pass away
Simply pretend
That you can build them again."

Well. it's fess-up time. The jig is up. Fini'. Time to pay the piper. Hasta la vista, baby. It's time to reveal the identity of vietnamcatfish.

Yes, we've had fun with the character. Yes, we've muddled our way through the infantile to express pent-up anger < angst, if you will >
in order to preserve what's left of our sanity.
Yes, it was fun but all things must end or pass, if you will. As Willie once so eloquently waxed onto vinyl, "Turn Out The Lights, The Party's Over." < apollo g's to Dandy Don Meredith >

Even Kitty < not her real name > has given me the green light. "Go for it." she said.

And gopher it, I shall.

I started writing the posts in June of 2001. Cajunballsauvin had turned me on to the yahoo and told me to check it out. Buried in the not so distant past, this closet writer was intrigued at the possibilities. It was luv at first sight.

I had just retired from the PIC at the ripe old age of 64. The company was in the midst of its undoing, and it was time to get out. And on my terms. Me and Adelaide, my wife's real name, had saved a small sum, a nest egg, if you will, and we eventually decided the time was ripe to leave. And leave, we did.

I had been a general manager for PIC and worked in the La. area. I worked with some of the legends. Sandy Fajitas < not his real name > was my mentor, after whom Bronco Billy was patterned. Sandy has always been flattered with the comparison.

Yes, he taught me a lot. How to turn the poke salad garnish into a delightful delicacy to be consumed by the guests; how to continually render the various meat offerings; how to weigh 2.5 ozs. of roast beef while discreetly holding one's thumb on the corner of the scale; the list is endless. And with heartfelt wishes, thank you Sandy Fajitas!

But me and Addie bid the rat race adieu. And are now enjoying the rest of our lives. Fortunately, Addie's hip replacement surgery was successful-poor thing fell the day after we retired. You've got to love the irony.

Portia, aka Catlin, has been helping her mom through the recovery process. Her sibling, Bud, aka Charlie jr., is an accountant with Price-Waterhouse. And the source of my inspiration for the academy awards spoofs. Charlie, er, Bud, is also the pictruandtru character. It is no coincidence that pictru and v.c. disappeared, er, went awol, if you will, at the same time. Bud has quite the imagination. And now we know the true identity of pictru. Sorry pictru, er, Bud.

Ah, memories. voting for Adlai Stevenson in the 50's. Enjoying the brief Camelot of the early 60's. LBJ. McGovern. Nader.The goober economics of the late 70's. Life was grand!

Yes, me and Addie have been blessed-too blessed to be stressed. And we had a fun ride with the PIC. But it's way past my bedtime. So, goodnight, dear PIC friends.

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. Me and Addie would love to rekindle old relationships. Does anyone know of any retirement groups that would be interested in adding me and Addie. She gets around pretty good in her motorized wheel chair. And isn't a bother or nuisance.

"Highest and Lowest Paying Restaurant Jobs"

My buddy, Hoots, used to say that servers were the highest paid workers in a restaurant.

In my 30 plus years I would agree. Servers at a cafeteria chain would make a couple hundred dollars per day, and all they did was get drink refills, condiments, napkins, etc., and to go containers. Not a bad gig considering anything over $5.15 per hour was not reported to the IRS. Oh yeah, they had to bus the table. Some thought they had to bust the table, but that's another story.

Here's the article:

More than a decade ago, I took a job as a server at a branch of a steakhouse conglomerate in rural North Carolina, where, for $2.13 an hour plus tips (including some insightful hand-scrawled notes in lieu of dollars), I waited tables and swept up piles of broken peanuts. The steakhouse has seen some changes over the years (eventually, busted peanuts make for busted floors). The pay, it turns out, has not.

The rate of $2.13 an hour — also known as federal subminimum wage, or the standard base pay for waitstaff in many states — hasn’t budged a penny in 20 years. Even if you work full-time, that amount obviously won’t pay the bills. So how much are servers actually able to bring in these days? How do their wages stack up against those of other restaurant employees?....

"Fear Not, Doctors Have Penis Mutilation Well Figured Out"

Due to folks tuning in to Golden Pond after doing a google search, I am here with the follow up to this bizarre case. Unfortunately, the people dropping by are not looking at anything else.

Let's get to the subject at hand. Oops. Pun unintended. There is a funny pun in the article to follow that I'm sure was unintentional.

Not to be outdone by truTV, whose exhaustive guide to criminal castration we linked to yesterday, the LA Times has put together its own comprehensive guide to penis mutilation–in the wake of the story of Garden Grove’s Catherine Kieu Becker, who recently sliced her husband’s penis off and ran it through the garbage disposal. It’s a surprisingly long piece, filled with useful information. For instance, though it was reported that Becker’s victim will likely lose his original penis, doctors can construct a new one from parts of his arm.

If the nerves are connected properly the patient may get erogenous sensations, particularly in the head of the penis. But because the arm does not contain the soft, spongy tissue typical of the penis, the patient cannot get an erection. That problem is overcome by implanting, well after the initial repairs have healed, a prosthetic implant, such as a hydraulic pump. Overall, “it’s a long, complicated, expensive procedure,” Alter said. But when it is finished, the patient can get an erection, have intercourse and climax.

If you missed the pun, here it is: Catherine Kieu Becker, who recently sliced her husband’s penis off and ran it through the garbage disposal. It’s a surprisingly long piece,

P.S. I saw where Ms. Becker has just signed a contract with the Ginsu Steak Knives company. ( not mine-saw it in another article ).

"Ouch-Catherine Kieu Becker Accused Of Cutting Off Her Estranged Husband's Penis"

A Southern Californian woman is accused of cutting off the penis of her estranged husband. She was arrested late last night after investigators responded to a 911 call and is now in custody at the Orange County Jail.

Catherine Kieu Becker of Garden Grove reportedly prepared dinner for her husband and put a poisonous substance or drug in his food to make him drowsy, reports KTLA. While the man was sleeping, Becker allegedly tied him to the bed. When he awakened, Becker cut his penis off with a knife and threw it into the garbage disposal, turning it on as she did so.

To read more....

P.S. This story came from the Huffington Post. To the right of the story it shows me that my sister and old high school chum ( Facebook ) read this column. Wow!

"Diana Nyad"

61-year-old Diana Nyad continues her quest to swim 103 miles from Havana, Cuba to the Florida Keys.

"When I blinked, I was 60."

"Slow on the Pond"

 

Another picture from my favorite movie.

1) Jaws

2) A Few Good Men

3) Casablanca

4) 7th Voyage of Sinbad

5) Goldfinger

6) From Russia with Love

7) Dr. No

8) The Verdict

9) Family Man

10) Pulp Fiction

11) Godfathers I/II

12) Groundhog Day

13) The Empire Strikes Back\

14) The Thing ( 50's version )

15) North by Northwest

16) Vertigo

17) It's a Wonderful Life

18) You Only Live Twice

19) Thunderball

20) Invasion of the Body Snatchers ( 50's version )

Not necessarily in any order, tho Jaws is number 1.

"Hair's Looking at you, Kid"

 

 

Not much more to say about the Casey Anthony case that hasn't already been said.

Roy Kronk, the meter man, who discovered the body is pictured above. He must have borrowed his hair style from my friend, Steve, who wore this look in the 70's, and who is pictured in the second photo. It has always been documented that styles come and go and then return.

When I mentioned to Steve via Facebook that he and Roy had the same hair style, Steve took umbrage. He thought he was better looking than Roy.

I thought they had the same hair-that's all.

P.S. Or Hair today gone tomorrow.

 

"It's 100 Degrees in the Shade" or "Time Flies When Yer Having Fun"

From January 17, 2008

"v.c.'s Musings"
It's the day after the storm, and the denizenry reveled in the chaos and the sight of white snow falling from the skies. We in the South have seen snow falls, blizzards, and black ice. Not lately, tho'. Why? Global warming! You dolts!

Yesterday was an event and got everybody excited. People who have lived elsewhere, like on the frozen tundras of Green Bay, the mountainous slopes of Colorado, or Alaskan igloos dwellers pooh-poohed our pathetic reactions of awe.

I heard a lot of:

"Where I come from [ Indiana ] this t'warnt nothing. You ain't seen snow til you seen snow in Indiana."

"I couldn't believe it when I saw snow plows going down the road. In Minneapolis, now that's some snow....for you."

Each comment was followed by a snicker. A mischievous smile. A "I can't believe they ate the whole thing."

I defended the region's honor. Yeah, we've had snow. And I tell 'em about the blizzards of '81 and '93 or was it '94. These events occurred before global warming, so most of the denizenry think you're telling tall tales or just plain hallucinating.

Back then you never knew it was coming. Until it was toooooooooo late. In '81 the blizzard shut down the city. Unfortunately, the work force was dutifully on the job. It took 'em hours to get home. I tried to be a good Samaritan by taking some of my charges, who were stranded, home when the snows started a'fallin'. It took me all night to get home. If I had escaped at first, I could have been home roasting in front of an open fire, allah chestnuts.

I would have no regrets doing a good deed, but the people I helped didn't seem to appreciate my sacrifice. Like they were entitled. Or something. Be it as it may, I did it. Risking life and limb. But it was an adventure, and I'll leave it at that.

But now the technology has improved to the point where there's little or no surprise.

I do remember waking up one April morning in 1985 and seeing a winter wonderland before my eyes. I was scheduled for surgery-ahem, in the groin area, and it's too much information, I know. Was this a sign to cease and desist the upcoming surgery?
The snow was beautiful; the roads weren't bad-remember it was April. I had the surgery, and the foot of snow had melted by noon. Along with yours truly. Ouch!

Sometimes, I think it would be better if we didn't know the bad weather was right around the bend. Takes all the mystery out of it. And then there's the precautions we can now take, and all of the raids on the supermarkets.

Musing 2: My foray from last night had a definite theme. "Revolver" in the picture. Songs from the Fab 4-my favs-included "Happiness is a Warm Gun"; and watching the classic sequel "Death Wish 3."

Btw, there is a "Death Wish 4" with the enigmatic Charles Bronson. How do I know. Was there a google search involved? Nah. I'm watching it now via AMC, the home of bleeped curse words and multi-layered commercials. I remember when it was commercial free. Not any more. See TCM for an alternative. Which is showing "From Here to Eternity." A dark, brooding tale of life in the South Pacific, pre-Pearl Harbor, December 7. 19 and 41. Too dark and brooding for me tonight. I'd rather watch Death Wish.

It is now time to end tonite's slugfest, as the revelry of the snow has subsided. The denizenry has bid adieu to the foul weather. The upside? Supposed to be an Arctic blast this weekend. And we shall replay it all over again.

Snow....snow....snow. v.c.

P.S. The weather outside ( yesterday ) was frightful.
But inside, it was so delightful

P.S.S. Musings concludes.
Posted by vietnamcatfish at 11:01 PM

"Fan Falls to his Death"

Tragic story. I have never come close to catching a baseball at a game. They never come my way. These days baseball players are very gracious and throw the foul balls and end-of-inning balls to the fans. I'm sure this will cease because of this tragedy. I often wondered when someone might get hurt by a thrown ball; the distances the balls are heaved can be of a great distance.

From the article: In the second inning, Oakland A’s outfielder Conor Jackson(notes) hit a screaming foul ball down the left-field line. It caromed toward Josh Hamilton(notes), the Rangers’ left fielder. Hamilton picked it up and threw the ball toward the stands. Players do this hundreds of times in a season. It’s part of baseball’s charm. Show up to a stadium, take home a piece of the game.

Hamilton’s toss came in short. It didn’t stop Shannon Stone from stretching to grab it. I’m almost certain, in fact, that the moment before Shannon Stone fell 20 feet and suffered injuries that would kill him, he was indescribably happy. He was going to grab a baseball from Josh Hamilton, a man who hauled himself from the depths of drug addiction to not only return to baseball but win the American League MVP award last season. Once Stone had that baseball, he was going to hand it to his son. And for the rest of his life, his son would have a story to tell about the time his daddy reached over a railing and snagged a bad throw from Josh Hamilton, one of the most talented players ever to wear a baseball uniform.

 

"!00 People Who Are Screwing Up America"

Never one to be topical, I recently read this book. It lists Jimmy Swaggart, Michael Jackson, Dan Rather, And Al Franken to name a few. Bernard Goldberg, the writer, is definitely a conservative.

There are 100 names-of course-and number one is Michael Moore. The others, while receiving many paragraphs, Mike doesn't get nary a one. His selection comes with his quote: "They are possibly the dumbest people on the planet...." Speaking of his fellow Americans, according to Goldberg.

I recommend the book, especially while visiting the powder room and/or reading room.

On a similar vein, I recently used the word bain marie in my last foray into the infantile. While heading to Piggly Wiggly today, the thought popped in my head about some stuff I heard while manning the counter at a cafeteria chain, which will go unnamed.

1) Swimps: Crustacean. Lives in the sea. Favorite food of Bubba. You may know them as shrimps, er, shrimp. Po boy, etouffee, fried, sauteed, cocktail, fried rice, scampi, creole-well, you get my drift.

2) Cabbages: If not mistaken cabbages does not appear in plural form.

3) Brussel sprouts: little cabbages.

4) Barbecue Beef Briscus: Sounds like something you would throw at the Olympics. Brisket, if you will.

5) Hurshpuppies: No explanation is needed or given.

6) Manaze: Try mayonnaise and who can forget Mayonnaise in an "Officer and A Gentleman."

7) Sweet Potato Shooflay: Not to be confused with Shoofly, don't bother me.

8) Fish Fill It: This is a fish sans bones.

a) I was often asked if the fish we served had bones. "No, it's Fill It." To which they would reply: "But does it have bones?"

9) Devil's Food Cake: Some guests never liked to hear the word "devil," so we would go with chocolate cake instead. However, that caused problems when the yellow layer cake with chocolate icing was similarly referred.

10) Seafood Bungo: I swear I heard this once from one of the team members. You may know it as Seafood Gumbo.

Shirley, I'll think of others, but these readily come to mind.

P.S. R Jus: The natural juice from the roast beef.

"Dear Cat"

This dear cat is a dramatization of an actual event:

Dear Cat: I once worked in the cafeteria biz. Long hours too if you will. Don't ask me how it was during the holidays with catering and customers/guests who commanded instant gratification. I moved on after listening to the song "the cat in the cradle" by Harry Chapin ( pun unintended ). From there I became a counselor. It wasn't quite my niche; so I went to work for George Zimmer, because he looked like a sharp dressed man on the boob tube. He had a radiant smile and a catchy ad line: "I guarantee it." But, alas, I'm not happy and want to move on again. DO you have any suggestions. Signed: ex supervisor of the bain maries and other assorted duties.

Dear bain marie: Because I receive no remuneration for writing this column, and because I have no gainful employment, you and I share the same boat. But there's hope and light at the end of the tunnel. Cos I have just the job(s) for you. And thanks to Yahoo's article:

Start a New Career at Any Age/Check out these hot options for career switchers of all ages:

I like this one, in particular:

#3 - Paralegal

Reliability is likely more top-of-mind than age in this profession, since lawyers depend upon paralegals to assist them in just about every part of the legal process. Strong written and verbal communication skills are important, so any prior work history that demonstrates this may come in handy. In addition to researching and interviewing witnesses, paralegals often help proofread documents and prepare contracts.

There are 4 more fields, bain marie. Check 'em out and good luck in your search.

P.S. You're gonna look good in one of these fields;I guarantee it.

P.S.S. Apologies to George Zimmer

P.S. III: What in the world is a bain marie, anyway? Thanks for the query!

"Dick"

MSNBC suspends Mark Halperin for Obama remark



Comments from the article: Gee if he said that about BUSH he would have been promoted.

2) Who is Halperin and what is MSNBC?

3) The 7 people that actually watch MSNBC will be disappointed.

"Scene II"

Cast of Characters

Stella: Young daughter of Vonnie. She is 14. Likes tall guys. She's 5'4". She has buck teeth. She misses her dad, who left the roost when she was 9. Hates Charlie, Vonnie's boyfriend. When Stella gets older she will go by Raven-she will have a friend named Deer.

Charlie: Charlie is a veteran of World War II. He works for the Atlanta newspapers as a typesetter. He has long fingernails but doesn't bite them, because he works with dangerous chemicals. He has s/p hair, burst capillaries on his face due to his love of alcohol. He lives with his mother. He has been dating Vonnie for 5 years. He and Vonnie will wed when his mom dies. No one is sure if the mom is sickly or in good health. Only Vonnie has seen her or so it seems.

Charlie's mom: Lives with Charlie, but as mentioned previously no one has seen her. She is the proprietor of a motel and is an avid taxidermist. Not much else is known.

Aunt Mad: Vonnie's aunt. She is a closet nudist and has nudist books lying around the house. She likes ceramics. One, in particular, measures 8 inches high or so. It features a colonial woman and man-both of whom are quite distinguished. The woman, dressed to the nines in colonial garb and white wig, has a quizzical look on her face. Upon further study, turn her around and her gentleman friend is poking his hand up her colonial dress. Aunt Mad works for the Crawford Driving Club as a cashier. She is an original. Any unwanted telephone solicitation receives a: "Hell, no, she ain't here;she's gone to Edowah Diddly." Just one of her many zany expressions.

Harry: Is a young boy of 8. He doesn't like Charlie either. Even tho' he appreciates the skates Charlie gave him for Christmas. Charlie gave Stella "soap on a rope." Stella hated the soap and hates Charlie. Harry likes his Aunt Mad, the closet nudist, and has shown the ceramic ditty to his best friend, Bobby. Harry has buck teeth-cos it runs in Vonnie's family. He is an All-American kid who loves baseball. But doesn't understand the concept of nudism. He and Bobby get into many scrapes. Aunt Mad once saved Bobby from drowning in a foot of water. Bobby is indebted to Aunt Mad for saving his life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UY-kFODaZqE

"Jaws"

 

From Time Magazine's new issue, behind the scene photos from "Jaws" and Matt Taylor

P.S. My favorite movie-all time.

The Beach
Hundreds of extras gathered day after day on Joseph Sylvia State Beach in Oak Bluffs on Martha's Vineyard to shoot the July 4 beach scene. There, the filmmakers replicated a group of striped beach cabanas originally located on East Beach in Chappaquiddick, another Massachusetts island. The weather was unreliable in mid-June, cool and dark on some days. "Equally problematic were the scores of adult extras who began losing interest in lingering day after day on the frigid beach," writes Taylor. Though they were paid $2.50 an hour, there wasn't much incentive for some to stay on the cool beach for multiple days. When extras who were in one spot for one scene disappeared for the next, it caused major problems for the film's continuity.

* Jaws: Memories from Martha's Vineyard by Matt Taylor


Read more: http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,2078388,00.html#ixzz1QUgeezoK

 

 

 

 

"Jim Riggleman Resigns" and "Take this Job and Shove It"

WASHINGTON -- Just when the Washington Nationals were showing signs of success and stability, and just as the players were starting to talk about the growing respect for the franchise around the league, along came the surprise announcement that manager Jim Riggleman was quitting because he wasn't happy with his contract....

....They have won 11 of 12 and have moved above .500 this late in the season for the first time since 2005....

Riggleman resigned because the Nationals wouldn't pick up next year's option on his contract. The players didn't have an inkling that such a thing was brewing. Jayson Werth tried to make it sound as if it didn't matter.

"It's not going to change anything in here," Werth said. "We're the ones that have been making the pitches and hitting the balls and winning the ballgames, so we're going to keep going."

Riggleman is the second manager in the majors to resign this week. Florida skipper Edwin Rodriguez quit Sunday, but his team was struggling and in last place in the NL East.

"For whatever reason, whenever you resign from a job, and especially this job, it takes a lot of guts and a lot of thinking," White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen said. "They used to fire managers and now they resign. That's kind of untypical."

"Top Ten Letterman-Dallas Mavs"

The Mavs won the NBA championship. And I plugged along with them exhorting them to victory. The following clip is hilarious. "The top ten good things about winning the NBA crown":

Noteworthy:

#9: Receiving a congratulatory sext from Anthony Weiner

#8: Helped take the sting out of hearing the cancellation of Hef's wedding.

"From the Archives"

"Dear Frat Bro"
I grew up during the turbulent 60's. I began my education at my alma mater, the fall of '69. The U.S. was embroiled in the Vietnam War; dames, er, young women were burning their bras and girdles and were questioning their submissive roles to men; the Civil Rights movement had been raging for years. Words like "far out," "heavy," "dude," and "groovy" were becoming mainstream in the "hippie culture;" young people disillusioned with all the conventional ideas of their parents.

And a new music arrived on the scene. Psychedelic, heavy metal and folk were emerging. And yers truly was caught-up smack dab in the middle of it. And because I had a yearning to drop in and drop out and to further the cause, I wrote a column for Truck U.'s newspaper. My byline was Frat Bro.

Btw, the greek sororities and fraternities were taking a hit in new membership, as the "counter culture" was dismissing the old established ways.

Here's my column from back in the day. An advice column, if you will, allah Ann Landers, which was designed to help my ggggeneration cope with the new revolution:

Dear Frat Bro: I'm scared @#$%less, dude. LBJ has decided to intensify our presence in Vietnam. I'm an English major, who is in danger of flunking out of school. My lottery number is 69. I'm afraid that I will be classified 1-A soon. Any suggestions. Signed: Not a Fortunate Son.

Dear Fortunate Son: Get to the bookstore quick and buy every cliff notes ever made. How do you think I've stayed at Truck U. all these years. Dude, the Canterbury Tales is a wild ride if you get the unabridged version. But Homer, Socrates, and Aristotle are greek to me. BTW, I ain't no senator's son. And when the tax man showed up at my dad's place, the house looked like a rummage sale, yawl. Thanks for the query and good luck!

Dear Frat Bro: Your column is heavy and far out. And groovy, dude. My friends tell me there's an outdoor rock concert/festival in upstate New York in August. Lots of beautiful people going. Trying to find themselves. It's gonna be a weekend of partying, dude. I heard that Jimi, Janis, CSN, Santana, Jefferson Airplane and maybe Bob Dylan will be there. Are you makin' the scene? Signed: Blonde on Blonde/Volunteers For America

Dear Blonde Volunteers: It's gonna be da heaviest collection of misfits ever assembled in one setting. Unfortunately, Bob has become somewhat of a recluse since his motorcycle accident. But Country Joe and the Fish will be there. Canned Heat and Ten Years After. I heard that Country Joe may change his name to Southern Fried Joe. But it's still the same fish to me. Thanks for the interrogatory!

Dear Frat Bro: When you leave Truck U. in a few years, what are you going to be when you grow up? In other words, what are your career goals? Are you going to get into print journalism and travel the world? Become a d.j. and spin the platters? Enter the exciting world of television. Maybe join Ted Turner's
fledgling new hybrid UHF station? What are you gonna do, dude? Signed: Inquisitive at Truck U's Inquisitional Facility.

Dear Inquisitive: None of the above, dude. I have my mind set on entering the wonderful world of restaurant hospitality. I have applied at Piccadilly Cafeteria. They make all their food from scratch. Pies, salads, meats, and veggies. I can't wait. They say the hours are great and you are well compensated. They have a crackerjack crew of maintenance men with well-honed skills. That repair all your service needs. Check back with me in 30 years and I'll tell you how it's going. "TFTQ!"

Dear Frat Bro, I dig your column. It really helps my psyche. Can you help me with a serious problem? You're my last resort. I will turn 30 next month, and-as you know-the younger generation doesn't trust anyone over that age. I want to stay in the revolution, but I'm afraid I'll be persona non grata once the birthday fairy comes and leaves a quarter under my pillow. Can you dig my dilemma? What to do, dude? Signed: Far(m) out?

Dear Farm Out: I'm afraid it's over for you, dude. Once you turn 30, you'll want to move to the suburbs, have 2.5 kids, and start investing in a 401K. Enjoy it while you can! It will soon be Andy Williams, Frank Sinatra, the Carpenters, and Tiny Tim time. Forget Hendrix, Morrison, and the Airplane. Sorry, not negotiable in today's revolution.

P.S. Submitted for your approval, v.c.

"A HArd Day's Night"

 

"Go Mavs"

What a series! The Mavs won. Against the Heatles. Lebron, Dwayne, Bosh, et al.

And, thank goodness, there was no Kobe Bryant, no Kevin Garnett, and no Dwight Howard involved in the Finals. How refreshing!!

Dirk is the MVP. And has the monkey off his back about no title/ring.

"Colonel Sanders on 'What's My Line'"

This episode was aired before the Colonel became the Colonel as evidenced by the panel sans blindfolds.

"Thanks Youtube"

Why didn't they have youtube when I was young. Someone uploaded this and other videos of Paul Mac and his band in Rio in May 2011. This one is really good.

"Pink Cadillac"

 

"Screenplay"

Scene 1: Young teenage couple are sitting in front of the young girl's house, where she resides in the upstairs apartment along with her brother and mother.

"Would you like some of my cherry coke," the tall young man asks the young girl.

"I still have my lime sour," she coos.

A driver of a pink Cadillac suddenly appears in the driveway. The driver is weaving recklessly and smashes into a swing set. He comes to a halt after annihilating it.

"Darn, what in the world? Who is that?" the young man asks.

"That's my mother's boyfriend, Charlie. I'm so embarrassed!"

Next door an older woman sans bra appears on her front porch and surveys the carnage. It is unclear if she has on panties.

The young girl's mother, oblivious to the pink Cadillac, shouts from the upstairs porch, "Stella, you bought the WRONG tomatoes. Get on your bike, young lady, and go back to Lakewood Heights and get the right ones."

Before the young girl can tell her mom that she no longer rides a bike, a voice from the Cadillac says, "Ain't that right, Vonnie?" He is carrying a bag of charcoal, a carton of Winston cigarettes, and a bottle of Jack Daniels. He has long fingernails and his glasses are askew on his face. Perhaps from the collision.

The scantily clad woman, now sans panties, utters: "I'm a gonna shave my head and go down the railroad backwards."

"Zombie"

 

A zombie detour gives a whole new meaning to a mindless commute.

The popular AMC television show "The Walking Dead" began filming its second season here in Atlanta and is shutting down a state highway south of the city for most of this week.

The AJC reports that traffic is being detoured off the highway in both directions at East Main Street.

"It's a big inconvenience. I live right off of 20 so for me to go to McDonough where I work, I have to go all the way around through Clayton, which is extra gas," driver Demond Williams told Channel 2 Action News' Carol Sbarge.

Larson told the AJC that DOT issued a press release saying the highway would be closed for road work because it wanted to limit the amount of people showing up to watch the filming of TV show.

"The Walking Dead" stars Andrew Lincoln, Jon Bernthal, and Sarah Wayne Callies. From the show's website: "Waking up in an empty hospital after weeks in a coma, County Sheriff Rick Grimes (Lincoln) finds himself utterly alone. The world as he knows it is gone, ravaged by a zombie epidemic. 'The Walking Dead' tells the story of the weeks and months that follow after the apocalypse."

The Farrelly Brothers' "Three Stooges" has been filming here for almost a month, and "American Pie 4: American Reunion" is also shooting here. The Georgia Department of Economic Development is riding high on several major films either just released or soon-to-be-released. In a statement sent out Friday, the department highlighted the recent "X-Men: First Class," which was filmed on Jekyll Island in 2010. Upcoming movies "Wanderlust," "The Change-Up," and "Footloose" were also shot extensively in Georgia and metro Atlanta.

"Georgia is now among the top five states in the nation for film and TV production with more than 274 productions shot in Georgia from July 2010 through April 2011, bringing in more than $589.2 million in investment to Georgia," it said in the release.

Another major coup is the relocation of "The Family Feud" this summer from Orlando to Atlanta, where it will shoot more than 150 episodes in the hometown of host Steve Harvey.

"The Heatles"

 

 

 

"Go Mavs"

The Dallas Mavs are in the NBA Finals for the 2nd time. Ironically, they are playing the Heat ( Heatles with Lebron, Dwayne, Bosh et al ) who dispatched them in 6 games circa 2006.

The Mavs made a stellar comeback in game 2 rallying from 15 points down with 7 minutes to play. Unfortunately, the Heat came back to win game 3 by a scant 2 points.

Can the Mavs rally tonight in Big D? I hope so but it looks like a daunting task. It's the old guys ( Dirk, Marion, Kidd ) vs. the young guns from Miami.

Stay tuned....

P.S. Mark Jackson, NBA Finals tv analyst and former NBA player, is the new head coach for the Warriors. I like his commentary and his rapport with Jeff van Gundy, former coach of the Knicks. Good luck to him!

"With a Little Help From My Friends"

Ringo Starr - Yellow Submarine on MUZU

"Maybe I'm Amazed Contest"

Following the huge success of last year’s Band on the Run competition, we are very excited to offer fans another chance to win a host of Macca goodies with the brand new ‘Maybe I’m Amazed Cover’s Competition’ in celebration of the upcoming release of McCartney & McCartney II on June 13th/14th.

Whether you’re a part-time guitar twiddler, a karaoke crooner or a serious music maker in a band, all are welcome! Just film your cover of Paul’s track ‘Maybe I’m Amazed’, upload it to YouTube and follow the simple steps below to enter. Then get all of your friends to ‘like’ your video. The video with the most ‘likes’ wins! Good luck!

Follow the steps below for your chance to win:

Steps
1. Record your own cover version of Maybe I’m Amazed.
2. Visit Paul’s YouTube Channel www.youtube.com/paulmccartney
3. Log in and submit your video response to the official Maybe I’m Amazed music video. Located here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvCSGeCgz0k (follow the instructions in the video)
4. Get as many of your friends to like the video in order for it to win!
5. The winner will be the video with the most likes.


Dates:
The competition starts on the 26th May 4pm. (GMT)
Only videos uploaded to YouTube and submitted to the competition between these dates will be valid. (please don’t submit videos that have been already uploaded onto YouTube)
The competition will close for new entries: 16th June 4pm. Votes will still count until the competition fully closes on the 23rd June 2011.
Competition Ends: 23rd June 2011 4pm

Prize:
The winner will recive a deluxe edition prize including: ‘McCartney Deluxe Edition’ ‘McCartney II Deluxe Edition’ ‘Band on the Run Deluxe Edition’

"Randy 'Macho Man" Savage"

May 20th:

Pro wrestling superstar Randy "Macho Man" Savage died after having a heart attack while driving his Jeep Wrangler, Fox News confirms.

The accident happened in Seminole, Fla.

A source tells Fox News that he "suffered a heart attack while driving and hit a tree...."

Most every boy has been a wrestling fan. I was certainly one. From Lou Thesz who Louie Tillet called Lou Tezz because Louie was French; to Freddie Blassie who referred to his counterparts as pencil-neck geeks; to Farmer Powell who lost every match in his career; to the Assassins who featured the dreaded "Hangman Hold" and who were from "parts unknown" and who concealed their faces via masks-yeah, I was a big fan.

So goodbye to Randy Savage, a wrestling legend. And a hero to many young boys.

P.S. And whatever happened to Gorgeous George, Ray Gunkel, Chief Little Indian, Dick the Bruiser, and the Torres Brothers.

P.S.S. And whatever happened to Haystack Calhoun, a svelte 601 lbs.