So, you know, it is what it is, but Americans are totally annoyed by the use of "whatever" in conversations.
The popular slacker term of indifference was found "most annoying in conversation" by 47 percent of Americans surveyed in a Marist College poll released Wednesday.
"Whatever" easily beat out "you know," which especially grated a quarter of respondents. The other annoying contenders were "anyway" (at 7 percent), "it is what it is" (11 percent) and "at the end of the day" (2 percent).
Whatever?
Friday, October 09, 2009
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
"X-Rated Man Stories"
These are just too funny. Thanks to ibbq4u2 who sent them my way.
Man Stories
1.. I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy
crouching down behind a tombstone. I said "morning." He said "no just taking a
shit".
2. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I
realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to
forgive me.
3. My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting out
"get this out of me? Give me the drugs." She looked at me and said, "You did
this to me you bastard!" I casually replied, "If you would care to remember,
I wanted to stick it up your ass but you said, "it'll be too painful."
4. I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual
checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why and
she told me, "because I am trying to examine you."
5. I was walking down the road today and saw my Afghani neighbor,
Abdul, standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
6. My girlfriend and I were making love last night when she looked up at
me and said "Make love to me like in the movies". So I turned her over on
all fours, stuck it in her ass, pulled out, flipped her back over and came
all over her face and hair. I guess we don't watch the same movies.
Man Stories
1.. I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy
crouching down behind a tombstone. I said "morning." He said "no just taking a
shit".
2. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I
realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to
forgive me.
3. My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting out
"get this out of me? Give me the drugs." She looked at me and said, "You did
this to me you bastard!" I casually replied, "If you would care to remember,
I wanted to stick it up your ass but you said, "it'll be too painful."
4. I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual
checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why and
she told me, "because I am trying to examine you."
5. I was walking down the road today and saw my Afghani neighbor,
Abdul, standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
6. My girlfriend and I were making love last night when she looked up at
me and said "Make love to me like in the movies". So I turned her over on
all fours, stuck it in her ass, pulled out, flipped her back over and came
all over her face and hair. I guess we don't watch the same movies.
"Sports Blooper"
"I've got a tough job," the Boston native said. "I've got to put these guys from different worlds together, right? I've got guys from Chicago, Detroit. I'm talking about the 'hood! And I've got guys from Grainger County, where they wear the hood!"
Tennessee coach Bruce Pearl has apologized for a joking remark that linked the rural home of one his players to the Ku Klux Klan.
Tennessee coach Bruce Pearl has apologized for a joking remark that linked the rural home of one his players to the Ku Klux Klan.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
"Refund Please?-You Stink"
I was so angry with the game (even before the post-game melee) I am sending you an invoice for my trip to Boise. The product on the field Thursday night is not something I was at all proud of, and I feel as though I’m entitled to my money back for the trip. Please see my invoice attached in this email. I will happily send along receipts if need be.
The Result?
The Result?
Saturday, September 26, 2009
"Cole Slaw Revisited"
I wrote this post many years ago. On an Apple2C computer. I guess C stood for computer. It was archaic and now a dinosaur, but I wrote this funny-I lol while reading-foray back in the day. Late 80's, early 90's-I can't remember:
Monday, December 26, 2005
"Cole Slaw"
Another foray from back in the day. Cholesterol, smesterol. Our story tonite was written before anyone knew about cholesterol. Now a 4 letter word. Submitted for....
Everyone loves cole slaw? It happens to be one of my favorite foods. It goes good with most meals. Barbecue in particular; fish and french fries where you can dip your hushpuppies in its juice. Cole slaw and hamburger; it makes a great topping along with mustard or ketchup. Slaw dogs- I grew up eating those at the local Dairy Queen. Most people would prefer a chili dog but not me. Make mine smothered in cole slaw. Alternate bites with thick crusty onion rings. OOh la la.
Cole slaw with chicken, even roast beef. The list goes on and on. Cole slaw is relatively easy to make. Start with a head of cabbage. Finely shredded or coarse, either was is fine with me. Add gobs of mayonaise and a tiny smooch of vinegar and you are in buisness. Some folks, although it takes some doing, can mess up this delicacy. Even though my mom is the greatest cook this side of Julia Child, cole slaw has escaped her expertise. Growing up with her slaw was painful.
She would deter from the basic ingredients already mentioned. Hers wasn’t a mayonnaisy slaw; it was a vinegary slaw with little black dots mixed liberally throughout. I assumed this was some sort of spice that was in there to make it taste better. Assumed is the key word.
I think her cole slaw was sweet, too. Like maybe she put a lot of sugar in it. Cole slaw ain’t supposed to be sweet; it’s supposed to be SOUR. Mom, you are the bomb and you are the best cook, but you need pointers on cole slaw.
At the cafeteria where I am employed, we have different kinds of slaw. Cole slaw with cream and cream slaw are my favorites. I must admit the cream slaw is a tad sweet, but there are exceptions to every rule. We also have an Italian slaw, pickled cabbage ( similar to you-know-who ), and a spanish slaw. The former slaws are our biggest sellers. Most bypass the pickled cabbage. There is a message here.
As the years pass by, my affinity for cole slaw increases. I can indulge on said item at least three or four times a week, cos there is never a chance of burn-out. In closing I will divulge my secret recipe. Great with hamburgers, barbecue, chicken, you name it. Bon appetit.
v.c.'s Cole Slaw OFFICIAL RECIPE
One Quarter Head Cabbage
Gobs of Mayonnaise
Smooch of Vinegar ( Must be White, never Wine )
Directions: Finely shred or coarsely shred cabbage. Put in big mixing bowl. Add the gobs of mayonnaise. Next add a smooch of vinegar. Mix all the ingredients until you can barely see the cabbage for the mayonnaise. Taste. Enjoy. Selah.
P.S. I think it was my Aunt Madeline who turned me on to this delighful concoction. No one made it better. And could she cook a mean burger, loaded with onions! And iced tea in a tall glass. Break out some cabbage; my mouth’s awatering.
P.S.S. I gotta go with the coarse-cut.
Posted by vietnamcatfish at 2:02 AM
2 comments:
Hoots said...
You make me wanna go whip up some hot dogs and slaw for lunch. Mmmmm...
Last year I was surprised to learn that you can get pretty good slaw dressing at the grocery store. Right there with the rest of the salad dressings. Kraft and Marzetti are apparently big sellers. All you do is shred the cabbage, blend and serve! After all those years of making cooked cream dressing from scratch...dang, I coulda had a V-8.
7:34 AM
vietnamcatfish said...
Good quip. Cooked cream dressing was a painstaking affair. They don't make 'em like they used to. One of me favourites was Broccoli Cauliflower over lettuce.
1:12 AM
Stone Cole ( slaw )
Monday, December 26, 2005
"Cole Slaw"
Another foray from back in the day. Cholesterol, smesterol. Our story tonite was written before anyone knew about cholesterol. Now a 4 letter word. Submitted for....
Everyone loves cole slaw? It happens to be one of my favorite foods. It goes good with most meals. Barbecue in particular; fish and french fries where you can dip your hushpuppies in its juice. Cole slaw and hamburger; it makes a great topping along with mustard or ketchup. Slaw dogs- I grew up eating those at the local Dairy Queen. Most people would prefer a chili dog but not me. Make mine smothered in cole slaw. Alternate bites with thick crusty onion rings. OOh la la.
Cole slaw with chicken, even roast beef. The list goes on and on. Cole slaw is relatively easy to make. Start with a head of cabbage. Finely shredded or coarse, either was is fine with me. Add gobs of mayonaise and a tiny smooch of vinegar and you are in buisness. Some folks, although it takes some doing, can mess up this delicacy. Even though my mom is the greatest cook this side of Julia Child, cole slaw has escaped her expertise. Growing up with her slaw was painful.
She would deter from the basic ingredients already mentioned. Hers wasn’t a mayonnaisy slaw; it was a vinegary slaw with little black dots mixed liberally throughout. I assumed this was some sort of spice that was in there to make it taste better. Assumed is the key word.
I think her cole slaw was sweet, too. Like maybe she put a lot of sugar in it. Cole slaw ain’t supposed to be sweet; it’s supposed to be SOUR. Mom, you are the bomb and you are the best cook, but you need pointers on cole slaw.
At the cafeteria where I am employed, we have different kinds of slaw. Cole slaw with cream and cream slaw are my favorites. I must admit the cream slaw is a tad sweet, but there are exceptions to every rule. We also have an Italian slaw, pickled cabbage ( similar to you-know-who ), and a spanish slaw. The former slaws are our biggest sellers. Most bypass the pickled cabbage. There is a message here.
As the years pass by, my affinity for cole slaw increases. I can indulge on said item at least three or four times a week, cos there is never a chance of burn-out. In closing I will divulge my secret recipe. Great with hamburgers, barbecue, chicken, you name it. Bon appetit.
v.c.'s Cole Slaw OFFICIAL RECIPE
One Quarter Head Cabbage
Gobs of Mayonnaise
Smooch of Vinegar ( Must be White, never Wine )
Directions: Finely shred or coarsely shred cabbage. Put in big mixing bowl. Add the gobs of mayonnaise. Next add a smooch of vinegar. Mix all the ingredients until you can barely see the cabbage for the mayonnaise. Taste. Enjoy. Selah.
P.S. I think it was my Aunt Madeline who turned me on to this delighful concoction. No one made it better. And could she cook a mean burger, loaded with onions! And iced tea in a tall glass. Break out some cabbage; my mouth’s awatering.
P.S.S. I gotta go with the coarse-cut.
Posted by vietnamcatfish at 2:02 AM
2 comments:
Hoots said...
You make me wanna go whip up some hot dogs and slaw for lunch. Mmmmm...
Last year I was surprised to learn that you can get pretty good slaw dressing at the grocery store. Right there with the rest of the salad dressings. Kraft and Marzetti are apparently big sellers. All you do is shred the cabbage, blend and serve! After all those years of making cooked cream dressing from scratch...dang, I coulda had a V-8.
7:34 AM
vietnamcatfish said...
Good quip. Cooked cream dressing was a painstaking affair. They don't make 'em like they used to. One of me favourites was Broccoli Cauliflower over lettuce.
1:12 AM
Stone Cole ( slaw )
Thursday, September 24, 2009
"Invisible Tattoo"
We're gonna change things up on G.P. This song is dedicated to an old friend of mine.
"Why I Love the Food Biz: Part 2" or "Cracker Barrel-Incident in Morrow, Ga."
"The man slung open the door pretty hard and fast and I had to push my daughter out of the way. I turned to the man and I just said, 'Excuse me sir, you need to watch yourself you almost hit my daughter in the face.' And from there it just went downhill," said Hill.
Poor old Cracker Barrel just can't catch a break. First the chain discriminated against Chris Rock's mom, and now two adults are fighting in the parking lot. Racial slurs aside, we just can't get along.
P.S. It couldn't happen to a nicer company than Cracker Barrel.
The following song has nothing to do with the above post; I just liked this tune back in the daze.
Poor old Cracker Barrel just can't catch a break. First the chain discriminated against Chris Rock's mom, and now two adults are fighting in the parking lot. Racial slurs aside, we just can't get along.
P.S. It couldn't happen to a nicer company than Cracker Barrel.
The following song has nothing to do with the above post; I just liked this tune back in the daze.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
"Ten Big Companies That Are Veering Near Bankruptcy"
Lucy, what happened? Some of the major players in the world are facing bankruptcy. Who would have ever of thunk it? Some I've never heard of. What do I know anyway? Some who made the list are:
1) Hertz. Whose motto was once "Let Hertz put you in the driver's seat today." And wasn't it a galloping O.J. who dashed through the airport concourses while hawking Hertz commercials? Avis was always number 2. They must have tried harder after all.
2) Macy's. Here in the south a long time ago the chain was known as Davisons. And they had the best eclairs. That is until I found a woman's fingernail in the middle of the bavarian cream. They never were the same after that.
3) CBS. Now this is a shocker. What's gonna happen to David Letterman, 60 Minutes, AFL Football, and Morley Shafer and the gang? And is this the last we'll hear from Andy Rooney? Provided the previous two are still alive.
4) Goodyear. What's gonna happen to the blimp. Shades of the Hindenberg.
5) Las Vegas Sands. When a casino in Las Vegas goes bankrupt you know something's amiss with the economy. What fate will befall Cher, Donny and Marie, Ozzy Osbourne, and Wayne Newton?
It's worse than I thought it was out there in the vast wasteland.
1) Hertz. Whose motto was once "Let Hertz put you in the driver's seat today." And wasn't it a galloping O.J. who dashed through the airport concourses while hawking Hertz commercials? Avis was always number 2. They must have tried harder after all.
2) Macy's. Here in the south a long time ago the chain was known as Davisons. And they had the best eclairs. That is until I found a woman's fingernail in the middle of the bavarian cream. They never were the same after that.
3) CBS. Now this is a shocker. What's gonna happen to David Letterman, 60 Minutes, AFL Football, and Morley Shafer and the gang? And is this the last we'll hear from Andy Rooney? Provided the previous two are still alive.
4) Goodyear. What's gonna happen to the blimp. Shades of the Hindenberg.
5) Las Vegas Sands. When a casino in Las Vegas goes bankrupt you know something's amiss with the economy. What fate will befall Cher, Donny and Marie, Ozzy Osbourne, and Wayne Newton?
It's worse than I thought it was out there in the vast wasteland.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
"77% of Oklahoma Students Don't Know George Washington Was the 1st President of the U.S."
I'm not the smartest guy in the world. Far from it. But I do know my presidents. I once could could recite 'em all in order, but now the Millard Fillmores, James Polks, and Rutherford Berchard Hayes have skewered my chronology. So much for me being on Jeopardy with Alex Trebeck.
Here's the link. I am also enclosing the ten questions they were asked.
Oklahoma Students Score Low on Basic Civic Questions.
What is the supreme law of the land?
What do we call the first ten amendments to the Constitution?
What are the two parts of the U.S. Congress?
How many justices are there on the Supreme Court?
Who wrote the Declaration of Independence?
What ocean is on the east coast of the United States?
What are the two major political parities in the United States?
We elect a U.S. senator for how many years?
Who was the first President of the United States?
Who is in charge of the executive branch?
Here's the link. I am also enclosing the ten questions they were asked.
Oklahoma Students Score Low on Basic Civic Questions.
What is the supreme law of the land?
What do we call the first ten amendments to the Constitution?
What are the two parts of the U.S. Congress?
How many justices are there on the Supreme Court?
Who wrote the Declaration of Independence?
What ocean is on the east coast of the United States?
What are the two major political parities in the United States?
We elect a U.S. senator for how many years?
Who was the first President of the United States?
Who is in charge of the executive branch?
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
"We're Number 37"
A tip of the cap to the Hootster for providing today's intrigue. The world is clamoring for more from my old buddy of umpteen years. When are you gonna get back into the blogging business.
I remember when we first started-thanks to you-most people didn't know a blog from a blurb in a punchbowl. Now everyone writes one. As usual, you were way ahead of your time.
You created a firestorm with your "What is B.O.'s religion?" Today you could have immersed your readers in all of the health care issues. I know you miss that!
The world is quietly awaiting your return. At leas a guy who hails from Texas via Dallas. Aka Rockhead. Go Lubys! And are they still in business? Or has the nation seen the last of the LuAnne specials?
Which reminds me. I sure wish I had me a big Chicken Fried Steak with some sawmill gravy. Ye doggies. And some cream slaw or cole slaw with cream. And while we're at it some good ole carrot shooflay.
Thanks again to the Hootster for providing some comic relief. Laughter is the best medicine. And was it Readers Digest who....
I remember when we first started-thanks to you-most people didn't know a blog from a blurb in a punchbowl. Now everyone writes one. As usual, you were way ahead of your time.
You created a firestorm with your "What is B.O.'s religion?" Today you could have immersed your readers in all of the health care issues. I know you miss that!
The world is quietly awaiting your return. At leas a guy who hails from Texas via Dallas. Aka Rockhead. Go Lubys! And are they still in business? Or has the nation seen the last of the LuAnne specials?
Which reminds me. I sure wish I had me a big Chicken Fried Steak with some sawmill gravy. Ye doggies. And some cream slaw or cole slaw with cream. And while we're at it some good ole carrot shooflay.
Thanks again to the Hootster for providing some comic relief. Laughter is the best medicine. And was it Readers Digest who....
Sunday, September 13, 2009
"Rally in San Fran"
My ultra-liberal sis, Olga, at a rally in the city by the bay. And who believes the old adage: "blondes have more fun."
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
"Health Care Reform"
Are they gonna pass this thing or what? Emotions are running high on both fronts. Name calling, race baiting, dirty politics-what else is new?
I on the other hand have had all kinds of health issues recently. To wit:
1) Pimple in my left eye. Swollen membrane and lots of mucous. ( too much info-I know ) Remedy: antibiotic lotion and antibiotics.
2) Wart on right foot. Caused by continually stooping on said foot many times in a day(s). Remedy: soak foot in solution followed by acid medication on culprit ( wart ). Ouch! Yes, it hurts like a mother.
3) Poison ivy: Fingers, arms, legs affected. Especially severe around bird finger on right hand. Wouldn't have gone to Urgent Care except my right eye was inflamed. Thought I might have another pimple but no mucous. Instead, it was poison ivy. Damn. Remedy: steroid shot in left buttocks and 5 days of steroids taken orally.
4) No comment: Daily dose of cialis. Remedy: Hot passionate love making. I know-too much info.
5) High cholesterol: Have had this for years. Runs in the family. Remedy: Crestor and a healthy diet. Yeah, right. My last check-up revealed my levels were pretty good, so there's hope for me yet.
So far no heart attacks, strokes, hemorrhoids, acid reflux, high blood pressure, prostate cancer, lumbago, piles ( another name for sufferers who must use Preparation X for relief ), fainting spells, diabetes, m.s., etc.
As the Health Care Bill battles rage on, I'm thankful that I have insurance. And I thank God for Cobra.
I on the other hand have had all kinds of health issues recently. To wit:
1) Pimple in my left eye. Swollen membrane and lots of mucous. ( too much info-I know ) Remedy: antibiotic lotion and antibiotics.
2) Wart on right foot. Caused by continually stooping on said foot many times in a day(s). Remedy: soak foot in solution followed by acid medication on culprit ( wart ). Ouch! Yes, it hurts like a mother.
3) Poison ivy: Fingers, arms, legs affected. Especially severe around bird finger on right hand. Wouldn't have gone to Urgent Care except my right eye was inflamed. Thought I might have another pimple but no mucous. Instead, it was poison ivy. Damn. Remedy: steroid shot in left buttocks and 5 days of steroids taken orally.
4) No comment: Daily dose of cialis. Remedy: Hot passionate love making. I know-too much info.
5) High cholesterol: Have had this for years. Runs in the family. Remedy: Crestor and a healthy diet. Yeah, right. My last check-up revealed my levels were pretty good, so there's hope for me yet.
So far no heart attacks, strokes, hemorrhoids, acid reflux, high blood pressure, prostate cancer, lumbago, piles ( another name for sufferers who must use Preparation X for relief ), fainting spells, diabetes, m.s., etc.
As the Health Care Bill battles rage on, I'm thankful that I have insurance. And I thank God for Cobra.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
"Orgasm For An Hour"
Continuing the "Sex in the city on Golden Pond:"
The two of us—Vera and Steve—have beens students and teachers of sensuality for a total of more than fifty years. We make sensuality and pleasure the highest priority in our lives, more important than success or anything else. This does not mean we stay in bed all the time, stimulating each other. It does mean that when we reach a fork in the road or have to make a decision, we choose the path that feels the most pleasurable and fun. We have both chosen "orgasm" as our field of specialization—specifically, orgasm in women—although we also study and teach about men's orgasms to both classes and private clients. We cannot think of a more pleasurable subject.
The two of us—Vera and Steve—have beens students and teachers of sensuality for a total of more than fifty years. We make sensuality and pleasure the highest priority in our lives, more important than success or anything else. This does not mean we stay in bed all the time, stimulating each other. It does mean that when we reach a fork in the road or have to make a decision, we choose the path that feels the most pleasurable and fun. We have both chosen "orgasm" as our field of specialization—specifically, orgasm in women—although we also study and teach about men's orgasms to both classes and private clients. We cannot think of a more pleasurable subject.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
"Paul McCartney Concert"
Yeah, it was great. Lots of music-of course-and lots of pizazz.
Yeah, it rained for about 15 minutes water-logging my left shoe and soaking my shirt and pants.
Yeah, it was good to see my boyhood idol and listen to all the old songs. Even if he didn't sing "Maybe I'm Amazed." I guess that's what happens when love turns sour. And the ex-wife wants a ton of alimony.
Yeah, the concert was great. And the crowd was interesting, especially the women who were territorial when it came to their outstretched blankets. Don't step on them, cos you know-and I know-how anal women are.
I met two young couples, one who both worked for TCM.
"My favorite channel," I told them.
The husband was an accountant and his wife a publicist. I was impressed when she told me she worked with Robert Osborne, famed host of TCM. And being Mr. Trivia, I mentioned to them how Robert got his start on the "Lucy Show," not to be confused with "I Love Lucy."
They were more impressed with yours truly, when I just happened to let it out of the bag that I had seen the Fab 4 in person in 1965.
"Hey, he's seen the Beatles," the hubby said to everyone in ear shot of his voice. Because of this distinction, I became an instant crowd celebrity.
The crowd was young, too. Which impressed me. And they knew the words to most of the songs. Which really impressed me.
"Helter Skelter," which helped inspire Charles Manson to his dastardly deeds; "Yesterday;" "Drive My Car;" "I Saw Her Standing There;" and "Hey Jude" were just a few of the songs. "H.J." has to be the best sing-along song evah.
Yeah, it was great. Kinda like being at Woodstock, circa '69. Except for no sex-none that I saw-no Jimi Hendrix or Janis Joplin, and we all paid to get in. There was plenty of beer at 7 bucks a pop, and the smell of cannabis wafted through the old mucous membranes a time or two.
A splendid time was guaranteed for all, and my main man came through as usual. Can't wait til the next one.
This is the song that opened the show!
Actual footage and I was there.
Yeah, it rained for about 15 minutes water-logging my left shoe and soaking my shirt and pants.
Yeah, it was good to see my boyhood idol and listen to all the old songs. Even if he didn't sing "Maybe I'm Amazed." I guess that's what happens when love turns sour. And the ex-wife wants a ton of alimony.
Yeah, the concert was great. And the crowd was interesting, especially the women who were territorial when it came to their outstretched blankets. Don't step on them, cos you know-and I know-how anal women are.
I met two young couples, one who both worked for TCM.
"My favorite channel," I told them.
The husband was an accountant and his wife a publicist. I was impressed when she told me she worked with Robert Osborne, famed host of TCM. And being Mr. Trivia, I mentioned to them how Robert got his start on the "Lucy Show," not to be confused with "I Love Lucy."
They were more impressed with yours truly, when I just happened to let it out of the bag that I had seen the Fab 4 in person in 1965.
"Hey, he's seen the Beatles," the hubby said to everyone in ear shot of his voice. Because of this distinction, I became an instant crowd celebrity.
The crowd was young, too. Which impressed me. And they knew the words to most of the songs. Which really impressed me.
"Helter Skelter," which helped inspire Charles Manson to his dastardly deeds; "Yesterday;" "Drive My Car;" "I Saw Her Standing There;" and "Hey Jude" were just a few of the songs. "H.J." has to be the best sing-along song evah.
Yeah, it was great. Kinda like being at Woodstock, circa '69. Except for no sex-none that I saw-no Jimi Hendrix or Janis Joplin, and we all paid to get in. There was plenty of beer at 7 bucks a pop, and the smell of cannabis wafted through the old mucous membranes a time or two.
A splendid time was guaranteed for all, and my main man came through as usual. Can't wait til the next one.
This is the song that opened the show!
Actual footage and I was there.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
"Literal Video-'Total Eclipse of the Heart'"
Saw this on "Nightline" last night. These are the newest rage on youtube ( literal videoes ). This one is hilarious.
And this one from the 60's is pretty good.
And this one from the 60's is pretty good.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
For Yasgur's Farm
Seems the 40 year celebration of Woodstock is upon us. Time flies when yer havin' fun.
A lot of shit has gone down since then.Wonder if Town Hall meetings were in vogue then? I don't recall any.
A lot of shit has gone down since then.Wonder if Town Hall meetings were in vogue then? I don't recall any.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
"Town Hall Meeting"
I was gonna write about my experience at my first town hall meeting concerning health care, but then I remembered Paul McCartney is coming to town Saturday afternoon, so that tale will have to be delayed a bit.
The concert is at Piedmont Park where they recently discovered dead fish floating on top of the water in a lake which dots the landscape. Seems the poor creatures died of asphyxiation. And the odor was unbearable according to witnesses.
"You fucking Nazi. Sit down and shut the fuck up"
Sorry! Forgot the foray into the infantile is about Paul Mac arriving in town to give a concert for charity.
"How much did they pay you to come here? Nazi!"
Saturday at 5 p.m. is when the festivities begin.
"Shut the fuck up. What do you think this is? A democracy or something?"
Sorry. Sir Paul, ex Fab 4 member, is the message here.
"Your un-American if you don't like this plan. Seig heil, you nazi bastard."
It's gonna be good. See you there. I can't wait. And from what I understand, the fish have left the building.
The concert is at Piedmont Park where they recently discovered dead fish floating on top of the water in a lake which dots the landscape. Seems the poor creatures died of asphyxiation. And the odor was unbearable according to witnesses.
"You fucking Nazi. Sit down and shut the fuck up"
Sorry! Forgot the foray into the infantile is about Paul Mac arriving in town to give a concert for charity.
"How much did they pay you to come here? Nazi!"
Saturday at 5 p.m. is when the festivities begin.
"Shut the fuck up. What do you think this is? A democracy or something?"
Sorry. Sir Paul, ex Fab 4 member, is the message here.
"Your un-American if you don't like this plan. Seig heil, you nazi bastard."
It's gonna be good. See you there. I can't wait. And from what I understand, the fish have left the building.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
"Someone Got Excited-Had to Call the State Militia"
She may be weary. Thanks to an encore presentation of "Bull Durham" on TBS tonite.
Two incredible live performances from back in the daze.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
It's Almost Tuesday Nite
....so I could go to a movie. I could play poker ( Texas Hold 'Em ) at Y Knot's Sports Bar here on Golden Pond or I could watch an old movie on TCM-an old Joan Crawford or Clark Gable classic- or I could watch endless youtube videos on the computer....
Or I could watch the sunset-wouldn't that be thrilling?-or clean up the kitchen and make my bed or....
What should I be doing? I should be....dancing. So what am I doing on my back?
On second thought I'd rather be at the hop!
Everybody rock!
Or I could watch the sunset-wouldn't that be thrilling?-or clean up the kitchen and make my bed or....
What should I be doing? I should be....dancing. So what am I doing on my back?
On second thought I'd rather be at the hop!
Everybody rock!
Friday, August 07, 2009
It's Friday Night
....so I could go to a movie. I could play poker ( Texas Hold 'Em ) at Y Knot's Sports Bar here on Golden Pond or I could watch an old movie on TCM-an old Bette Davis or Cary Grant classic- or I could watch endless youtube videos on the computer....
Or I could watch the sunset-wouldn't that be thrilling?-or clean up the kitchen and make my bed or....
What should I be doing? I should be....dancing. So what am I doing on my back?
Or I could watch the sunset-wouldn't that be thrilling?-or clean up the kitchen and make my bed or....
What should I be doing? I should be....dancing. So what am I doing on my back?
Thursday, August 06, 2009
The new Dallas Cowboys Stadium will offer $90 pizzas
According to the Cowboys, the 20-inch pizzas at the new stadium will cost $60, not $90 as reported. (That's the same price they were in the suites at Texas Stadium.) There will be five different types of pizza available for that price. Beer will be sold for $5.
As for the $90 pizza, that's the cost for a plain pizza. No word on how much each topping costs but, suffice it to say, if you're a fan of pepperoni you may want to consider refinancing your mortgage before you head down to watch the Cowboys.
As for the $90 pizza, that's the cost for a plain pizza. No word on how much each topping costs but, suffice it to say, if you're a fan of pepperoni you may want to consider refinancing your mortgage before you head down to watch the Cowboys.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
"More Traffic Needed" Sex Sells
I've got to figure out a way to increase traffic on Golden Pond. And sex may be the way to go. Pictures of nudes, semi-nudes, persons dabbling in oral pleasures, rear entries, semi-rear entries, pix of big breasteses, small breasts, lesbians gettin' it on, semi-lesbians gettin' it on.
So look for more sex in G.P. and titles like:
Long Dong Silver Hi-Hoe and Away
Debbie Does Philly
Behind the Screen Door
Deep Throat; Deeper Throat; Deepest Throat
Scarlett Takes a Tumble ( for real )
You Want to Put It Where
I Thought Only Jewish Girls Did That
Interracial Tongue Lashing
Uranus Bashing
Sexual Asian Rationing ( Sideways Production )
BB Booty Fashioning
Prissy Passioning
Works for me. New marketing on the way
So look for more sex in G.P. and titles like:
Long Dong Silver Hi-Hoe and Away
Debbie Does Philly
Behind the Screen Door
Deep Throat; Deeper Throat; Deepest Throat
Scarlett Takes a Tumble ( for real )
You Want to Put It Where
I Thought Only Jewish Girls Did That
Interracial Tongue Lashing
Uranus Bashing
Sexual Asian Rationing ( Sideways Production )
BB Booty Fashioning
Prissy Passioning
Works for me. New marketing on the way
Saturday, August 01, 2009
"Newest IPhone To Include A Grain of Sand From the Ark of the Covenant"
Yes, folks. Get yours today! Use the special feature to ISmite people on your contact list. There's a few in mine that I would just love to send an ISmite message.
Friday, July 31, 2009
"King of Pop"
The hoopla over Michael Jackson's death is still raging. Did the doctor kill him? Etc. And I haven't followed much of it....at all. Not sure why except that I wasn't one of his big fans. I wasn't into the Jackson 5 music back in the daze, because I was more into rock and roll and heavy metal.
But yesterday I watched the "Jackson 5" movie, which chronicled the band's rise in the 60's. From local talent shows to playing in "hootchie-coochie" bars to signing with Motown Records.
In the movie Joe Jackson, the dad, was portrayed as being a strict disciplinarian. If one of the boys screwed up a dance routine or sang off-key, he was banished to the front yard to get a switch. Hmmm. Not sure I could have made the grade if I had been a member, cos I definitely can't do the moonwalk or the robot. "Beat it" eh?
Last night I watched Michael in a concert from 2001. It was great watching him and rekindled a lot of old memories, especially from the early 80's. "Slash" from "Guns N' Roses" played lead guitar on a few of the numbers. But it was also sad to see the way he had to hold the microphone while dancing and singing. I'm guessing here, but it must have been the many plastic surgeries. It was also sad to see the bleached face and pointy nose. God only knows what a person of his stature endures.
The one thing that blew me away when he died was the fact he was 50 years old. Which made me realize how old I am. It was just incomprehensible to me that Michael Jackson could be 50 years old. Or my being 39. Where does the time go?
So, farewell, Michael. Say hello to John and George for me. RIP, dude. And thanks for all of the memories.
Submitted for your approval, my favorite M.J. song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUi2UCPe7Yo&feature=channel
But yesterday I watched the "Jackson 5" movie, which chronicled the band's rise in the 60's. From local talent shows to playing in "hootchie-coochie" bars to signing with Motown Records.
In the movie Joe Jackson, the dad, was portrayed as being a strict disciplinarian. If one of the boys screwed up a dance routine or sang off-key, he was banished to the front yard to get a switch. Hmmm. Not sure I could have made the grade if I had been a member, cos I definitely can't do the moonwalk or the robot. "Beat it" eh?
Last night I watched Michael in a concert from 2001. It was great watching him and rekindled a lot of old memories, especially from the early 80's. "Slash" from "Guns N' Roses" played lead guitar on a few of the numbers. But it was also sad to see the way he had to hold the microphone while dancing and singing. I'm guessing here, but it must have been the many plastic surgeries. It was also sad to see the bleached face and pointy nose. God only knows what a person of his stature endures.
The one thing that blew me away when he died was the fact he was 50 years old. Which made me realize how old I am. It was just incomprehensible to me that Michael Jackson could be 50 years old. Or my being 39. Where does the time go?
So, farewell, Michael. Say hello to John and George for me. RIP, dude. And thanks for all of the memories.
Submitted for your approval, my favorite M.J. song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUi2UCPe7Yo&feature=channel
Saturday, July 25, 2009
"Salty Dog"
Postscript: The following was written one Saturday afternoon when I still had Saturday's off. It was written completely off the cuff and took me a few hours. Whiskers is based on "Jaws," < duh! > the movie, and my favorite flick of all time. The characterizations, the dialogue, the intrigue-plus I've always been a big sci-fi fan-the sunny beaches, the actors, just the whole damn thing makes it my favorite. Apologies to "Gone with the Wind," "Casablanca," "Citizen kane," and "i was a teenage werewolf. Submitted for your approval and perusal:
A movie:
Scene 1: Young adults sitting around a campfire. On a sandy beach. Waves cascading in the background. Drinking beers. Having fun.
One young male eyes a young female. She eyes him back. He wants to get naked. She gets naked. He tries to get naked. She wants to go skinny dipping. He wants to do something else.
Girl swims out into the water. He's still trying to get naked.
Girl is suddenly attacked by something in the water. Young man is looking for his beer and trying to get his pants off.
Scene 2: Sheriff Labroddie wakes up at his house on the island. Only an island if you look at it from the sea. Kisses his wife. Scolds the kids. Gets a phone call. From the young male from scene 1.
Young male wants to report that Prissy may have drowned. That was her name. He thinks. But he was drunk.
Labroddie discounts the story. Makes obligatory
sweep. Finds girl washed up on the beach. Looks like she's been attacked by something.
Scene 3: Labroddie wants to close the beaches.
Coroner, Mr. Quincy, tells him that a shark attack was the reason for the girl's death. Paints signs. "No Swimming." To be posted all over the island.
Scene 4: Mr. Springer, the mayor, finds out that Labroddie wants to close the beaches. Finds Labroddie on the ferry. With his signs and paint cans.
Springer: "You gonna close the beaches, Rotino?( Labroddie's first name ) On whose authority?"
Rotino: "On my authority." He didn't know he had to check with anyone.
Rotino says there's a big fish in the waters. And boy scouts are doing their mile swim. He's worried.
Springer tells him that the coroner made a mistake. Wasn't a shark but a boat's propellers. They've never had that kind of trouble in these waters.
Springer tells Rotino that the 4th of July is looming. Might be a panic. Labroddie acquiesces.
Scene 5: Everybody from Damnity Island is at the beach. Swimming and having fun. Kids are splashing in the water. A young man is throwing a stick into the water. His dog is retrieving.
Labroddie is pensive as he sits on the beach. He worries about deferring to Labroddie.
A lttle kid named Jason runs up to his mother, Mrs. Voorhees, who's sunning herself on the beach. He wants to go back in the water. She looks at his prunish hands, but lets him go back in the water. He jumps on a raft. Splahes about. Having fun.
Young man with dog hollers out: "Toto, Toto."
Toto has disappeared. Show stick floating on the water.
Jason disappears, too. Mrs. Voorhees looks around for Jason. Big fish is eating him.
Scene 6) Damnity calls a meeting. Everyone wants to know if they are going to close the beaches. Everybody's talking at once. Chaos. Suddenly a terrible sound emanates from the back of the room. A finger on a chalkboard. The finger belongs to an old salty dog and shark fighter. Mr Quick.
"You all know how I make a living. I'll find this bad fish. Shake it and bake it. Get your businesses back on a paying basis, so you won't have to go on welfare this winter"
He values his life more than $3000. Mrs. Voorhees reward. Gonna take more. He wants a quart of watermelon jelly every day plus $20,000. Plus expenses. Springer takes plan under advisement.
Scene 7: Labroddie calls in help. Matt Scooper from the Oceanagraphic Institute. Damnity's fishermen throw chum in the water. Throw firecrackers. Everybody wants the reward from Mrs. V. Somebody catches a huge tiger shark. Everybody's happy. Mrs. V shows up in black and slashes Labroddie with a knife. He's o.k. But she delivers a poignant soliloquy. Tells Labroddie that the girl from scene 1 had been killed by the big fish and he didn't do anything about it. Labroddie's depressed. Springer tries to cheer him up. Quick drives by in his boat. The "HOKI." Scooper measures bite radius.
Scene 8) Scooper dines with Labroddie and wife.
Brings wine. Wants to let it breathe.
Labroddie says to his wife that Hooper is into sharks. Everyone laughs. After drinking the bottle of wine, they decide to cut open the tiger shark. Half ass autopsy. To see if it's the man eater.
Scooper cuts open the tiger. Came from southern waters. From the ailimentary canal, Scooper pulls out a La. license plate, a hoki swallowed whole, and a takeout plate from Piccadilly ( vienna sausage el grande ).
Scooper and Labroddie get on Scooper's boat. His vessell has a state of the art fish finder.
They see an abandoned boat through the haze. It's Ring Lardner's boat. Scooper dives into the water with his scuba gear. Sees a big hole in the rectal of the boat. Pulls a long whisker from the hole. 20 footer. 25 footer. Ring Lardner's head suddenly appears. Frightens Scooper. Drops the whisker. Hauls ass back to his boat.
Scene 9) Springer, Labroddie, and Scooper are in front of a billboard. The message says "Welcome To Damnity's Big 4th of July Regatta." A lady is pictured. Swimming on a raft at the beach. Some paint happy bastards have drawn a large great white vietnamese catfish swimming menacingly towards the lady. "Help, catfish!" says the caption.
Scooper is irate. Springer doesn't believe the story about the catfish.
Springer: "Dropped the whisker, eh. Did you see it, Labroddie?" He says no and looks away.
Scooper says the fish is a mutant. A great white catfish. A charcharodon carcharis catfishis. Scooper urges Labroddie and Springer to close the beaches.
Scene 10) More people are eaten. A man loses a leg. All of Damnity see the giant catfish swim away from the pond. Labroddies' son is in shock. Wife brings him a harvest cake from Piccadilly, while he's recuperating in the hospital. Springer is visibly shaken. Labroddie makes him hire Quick.
Scene 11) Quick and Scooper and Labroddie are going fishing for the catfish. On the Hoki.
Scooper brings an anti-catfish cage. Quick makes fun of him.
Scene 12) Labroddie's throwing out chum. Quick gets a nibble. Quick sits himself in the captain's chair. Locks himself in. Scooper thinks he's only snagged a stingray. Wants Quick to cut it loose. Scooper bumps his head on the deck, when the catfish takes the chum and runs. Scooper says that busting his head doesn't mean anything.
"It means one thing Mr. Scooper. That you college boys aren't man enough to admit when you're wrong."
Quick drinks a can of beer. Smashes the can in his hand. Scooper smashes a 20 oz. styrofoam cup.
Scene 13) They have a close encounter with the catfish. Quick springs into action. Shoots the 25 foot cat. Quick's got one barrell on him.
Quick, as he reels the mutant in says: "He's either a very smart catfish or a very dumb catfish. It's too easy. He's very smart. I think he's gone under the boat. I think he's gone under the boat." Quick hollers at Scooper. Night falls. Day one of fighting the catfish is over.
Scene 14) All three men are whipped. They get drunk. They share war stories.
Quick's encounter with the great white whale. Scooper's scar from the raptor, while filming Jurrasic Park.
Quick's brush with the beast.
Scooper's close call with the coelocanth.
Labroddie looks at his appendix scar and says nothing.
Scooper catches a glimpse at Quick's arm and asks him what the tatoo used to say.
Evidently, Quick had tried to have it removed.
"U.S.S. Piccadilly, Mr. Scooper."
Scooper: "You were on the Piccadilly?"
Quick's mood changes from jovial to somber.
"We had just delivered the bomb. The Azam Malik bomb." Labroddie looks incredulous.
"On our return, somebody launched a torpedo into our hull. And the Piccadilly sunk into the water.
Thousands of men went into the water. And there were catfish in the water. You ever look into a catfish's eyes, Rotino? He's got lifeless eyes. Like a doll's."
Labroddie had never looked into the eyes of a catfish.
Quick continues the tale of carnage. How the men of the sunken Piccadilly were left to fend for themselves in the water.
How some of his mates were bitten in half by tiger catfish. How the sea water turned red.
How the mission was top secret. And how they
weren't listed overdue for weeks.
He says he was most afraid waiting for his turn to be rescued, when the relief plane finally arrived.
"I'll never wear a life jacket again."
Like men with their heads in a noose, they start singing "show me the way to go home."
The great white catfish comes back home, too. And butts the boat with its large whiskers.
Quick is certifiable.
Scene 15) By now the great white has 3 barrells in him. The barrells surface. Quick can't believe it. Scooper wonders aloud to Quick if he's ever met such a tough foe as this catfish.
"No."
Scene 16) All hell is breaking loose. The ship is full of holes. The crew looks worried. Quick asks Scooper if he brought anything with him to kill the catfish.
"All I've got is a case of TQC sweet potato pie filling. 4 one gallons.
"Great!" says Quick.
Scooper pulls out a syringe. Puts the tqc sweet potato pie filling into the syringe.
"You can get that little needle through his skin, Scooper?"
"No, but if I get close enough, I can squirt some into his mouth. That'll kill him."
"How?"
"Anti-catfish cage."
"He'll tear that cage apart."
No one had any better ideas. The boat was leaking and the motor was shot. Quick had smashed the onboard telephone. Labroddie was mad as hell.
Scene 17) Scooper descends into the water, supposedly protected by the cage. His syringe, filled with tqc sweet potato pie filling, is in his hands. Scooper is nervous.
Scooper is blind sided by the catfish. Is eaten alive. Labroddie and Quick try to hoist the cage, but it's too late.
The catfish emerges from the depths of the ocean and jumps onto the Hoki. He swallows Quick whole. The boat is sinking. And Labroddie is the only one left. He grabs his gun and heads for the crow's nest of the boat.
The top of the boat is teetering closer and closer to the water.
It doesn't look good for Labroddie as the catfish keeps returning, attempting to swallow him in one gulp.
The catfish is close to eating him when Labroddie grabs an air tank that Scooper had brought along. And pushes it into the catfish' mouth. A gallon of TQC pie filling falls in, too. Unopened.
"Dammit," cries Labroddie. "If only that pie filling jar had been opened."
The catfish glides away, but comes back for the final sweep. Labroddie is dangerously close to the water.
He fires at the catfish. Once, twice, three times, nothing.
The air tank and pie filling are in the cat's mouth. Labroddie hits the air tank with a perfect shot. The cat keeps advancing.
Time for one last shot. "Smile you son of a bitch." Another perfect shot. Hits the TQC pie filling. The catfish explodes.
Labroddie is elated. He's safe. And the great white mutant catfish is destroyed.
Labroddie mourns the loss of his fallen comrades and paddles towards the shore.
The End
A movie:
Scene 1: Young adults sitting around a campfire. On a sandy beach. Waves cascading in the background. Drinking beers. Having fun.
One young male eyes a young female. She eyes him back. He wants to get naked. She gets naked. He tries to get naked. She wants to go skinny dipping. He wants to do something else.
Girl swims out into the water. He's still trying to get naked.
Girl is suddenly attacked by something in the water. Young man is looking for his beer and trying to get his pants off.
Scene 2: Sheriff Labroddie wakes up at his house on the island. Only an island if you look at it from the sea. Kisses his wife. Scolds the kids. Gets a phone call. From the young male from scene 1.
Young male wants to report that Prissy may have drowned. That was her name. He thinks. But he was drunk.
Labroddie discounts the story. Makes obligatory
sweep. Finds girl washed up on the beach. Looks like she's been attacked by something.
Scene 3: Labroddie wants to close the beaches.
Coroner, Mr. Quincy, tells him that a shark attack was the reason for the girl's death. Paints signs. "No Swimming." To be posted all over the island.
Scene 4: Mr. Springer, the mayor, finds out that Labroddie wants to close the beaches. Finds Labroddie on the ferry. With his signs and paint cans.
Springer: "You gonna close the beaches, Rotino?( Labroddie's first name ) On whose authority?"
Rotino: "On my authority." He didn't know he had to check with anyone.
Rotino says there's a big fish in the waters. And boy scouts are doing their mile swim. He's worried.
Springer tells him that the coroner made a mistake. Wasn't a shark but a boat's propellers. They've never had that kind of trouble in these waters.
Springer tells Rotino that the 4th of July is looming. Might be a panic. Labroddie acquiesces.
Scene 5: Everybody from Damnity Island is at the beach. Swimming and having fun. Kids are splashing in the water. A young man is throwing a stick into the water. His dog is retrieving.
Labroddie is pensive as he sits on the beach. He worries about deferring to Labroddie.
A lttle kid named Jason runs up to his mother, Mrs. Voorhees, who's sunning herself on the beach. He wants to go back in the water. She looks at his prunish hands, but lets him go back in the water. He jumps on a raft. Splahes about. Having fun.
Young man with dog hollers out: "Toto, Toto."
Toto has disappeared. Show stick floating on the water.
Jason disappears, too. Mrs. Voorhees looks around for Jason. Big fish is eating him.
Scene 6) Damnity calls a meeting. Everyone wants to know if they are going to close the beaches. Everybody's talking at once. Chaos. Suddenly a terrible sound emanates from the back of the room. A finger on a chalkboard. The finger belongs to an old salty dog and shark fighter. Mr Quick.
"You all know how I make a living. I'll find this bad fish. Shake it and bake it. Get your businesses back on a paying basis, so you won't have to go on welfare this winter"
He values his life more than $3000. Mrs. Voorhees reward. Gonna take more. He wants a quart of watermelon jelly every day plus $20,000. Plus expenses. Springer takes plan under advisement.
Scene 7: Labroddie calls in help. Matt Scooper from the Oceanagraphic Institute. Damnity's fishermen throw chum in the water. Throw firecrackers. Everybody wants the reward from Mrs. V. Somebody catches a huge tiger shark. Everybody's happy. Mrs. V shows up in black and slashes Labroddie with a knife. He's o.k. But she delivers a poignant soliloquy. Tells Labroddie that the girl from scene 1 had been killed by the big fish and he didn't do anything about it. Labroddie's depressed. Springer tries to cheer him up. Quick drives by in his boat. The "HOKI." Scooper measures bite radius.
Scene 8) Scooper dines with Labroddie and wife.
Brings wine. Wants to let it breathe.
Labroddie says to his wife that Hooper is into sharks. Everyone laughs. After drinking the bottle of wine, they decide to cut open the tiger shark. Half ass autopsy. To see if it's the man eater.
Scooper cuts open the tiger. Came from southern waters. From the ailimentary canal, Scooper pulls out a La. license plate, a hoki swallowed whole, and a takeout plate from Piccadilly ( vienna sausage el grande ).
Scooper and Labroddie get on Scooper's boat. His vessell has a state of the art fish finder.
They see an abandoned boat through the haze. It's Ring Lardner's boat. Scooper dives into the water with his scuba gear. Sees a big hole in the rectal of the boat. Pulls a long whisker from the hole. 20 footer. 25 footer. Ring Lardner's head suddenly appears. Frightens Scooper. Drops the whisker. Hauls ass back to his boat.
Scene 9) Springer, Labroddie, and Scooper are in front of a billboard. The message says "Welcome To Damnity's Big 4th of July Regatta." A lady is pictured. Swimming on a raft at the beach. Some paint happy bastards have drawn a large great white vietnamese catfish swimming menacingly towards the lady. "Help, catfish!" says the caption.
Scooper is irate. Springer doesn't believe the story about the catfish.
Springer: "Dropped the whisker, eh. Did you see it, Labroddie?" He says no and looks away.
Scooper says the fish is a mutant. A great white catfish. A charcharodon carcharis catfishis. Scooper urges Labroddie and Springer to close the beaches.
Scene 10) More people are eaten. A man loses a leg. All of Damnity see the giant catfish swim away from the pond. Labroddies' son is in shock. Wife brings him a harvest cake from Piccadilly, while he's recuperating in the hospital. Springer is visibly shaken. Labroddie makes him hire Quick.
Scene 11) Quick and Scooper and Labroddie are going fishing for the catfish. On the Hoki.
Scooper brings an anti-catfish cage. Quick makes fun of him.
Scene 12) Labroddie's throwing out chum. Quick gets a nibble. Quick sits himself in the captain's chair. Locks himself in. Scooper thinks he's only snagged a stingray. Wants Quick to cut it loose. Scooper bumps his head on the deck, when the catfish takes the chum and runs. Scooper says that busting his head doesn't mean anything.
"It means one thing Mr. Scooper. That you college boys aren't man enough to admit when you're wrong."
Quick drinks a can of beer. Smashes the can in his hand. Scooper smashes a 20 oz. styrofoam cup.
Scene 13) They have a close encounter with the catfish. Quick springs into action. Shoots the 25 foot cat. Quick's got one barrell on him.
Quick, as he reels the mutant in says: "He's either a very smart catfish or a very dumb catfish. It's too easy. He's very smart. I think he's gone under the boat. I think he's gone under the boat." Quick hollers at Scooper. Night falls. Day one of fighting the catfish is over.
Scene 14) All three men are whipped. They get drunk. They share war stories.
Quick's encounter with the great white whale. Scooper's scar from the raptor, while filming Jurrasic Park.
Quick's brush with the beast.
Scooper's close call with the coelocanth.
Labroddie looks at his appendix scar and says nothing.
Scooper catches a glimpse at Quick's arm and asks him what the tatoo used to say.
Evidently, Quick had tried to have it removed.
"U.S.S. Piccadilly, Mr. Scooper."
Scooper: "You were on the Piccadilly?"
Quick's mood changes from jovial to somber.
"We had just delivered the bomb. The Azam Malik bomb." Labroddie looks incredulous.
"On our return, somebody launched a torpedo into our hull. And the Piccadilly sunk into the water.
Thousands of men went into the water. And there were catfish in the water. You ever look into a catfish's eyes, Rotino? He's got lifeless eyes. Like a doll's."
Labroddie had never looked into the eyes of a catfish.
Quick continues the tale of carnage. How the men of the sunken Piccadilly were left to fend for themselves in the water.
How some of his mates were bitten in half by tiger catfish. How the sea water turned red.
How the mission was top secret. And how they
weren't listed overdue for weeks.
He says he was most afraid waiting for his turn to be rescued, when the relief plane finally arrived.
"I'll never wear a life jacket again."
Like men with their heads in a noose, they start singing "show me the way to go home."
The great white catfish comes back home, too. And butts the boat with its large whiskers.
Quick is certifiable.
Scene 15) By now the great white has 3 barrells in him. The barrells surface. Quick can't believe it. Scooper wonders aloud to Quick if he's ever met such a tough foe as this catfish.
"No."
Scene 16) All hell is breaking loose. The ship is full of holes. The crew looks worried. Quick asks Scooper if he brought anything with him to kill the catfish.
"All I've got is a case of TQC sweet potato pie filling. 4 one gallons.
"Great!" says Quick.
Scooper pulls out a syringe. Puts the tqc sweet potato pie filling into the syringe.
"You can get that little needle through his skin, Scooper?"
"No, but if I get close enough, I can squirt some into his mouth. That'll kill him."
"How?"
"Anti-catfish cage."
"He'll tear that cage apart."
No one had any better ideas. The boat was leaking and the motor was shot. Quick had smashed the onboard telephone. Labroddie was mad as hell.
Scene 17) Scooper descends into the water, supposedly protected by the cage. His syringe, filled with tqc sweet potato pie filling, is in his hands. Scooper is nervous.
Scooper is blind sided by the catfish. Is eaten alive. Labroddie and Quick try to hoist the cage, but it's too late.
The catfish emerges from the depths of the ocean and jumps onto the Hoki. He swallows Quick whole. The boat is sinking. And Labroddie is the only one left. He grabs his gun and heads for the crow's nest of the boat.
The top of the boat is teetering closer and closer to the water.
It doesn't look good for Labroddie as the catfish keeps returning, attempting to swallow him in one gulp.
The catfish is close to eating him when Labroddie grabs an air tank that Scooper had brought along. And pushes it into the catfish' mouth. A gallon of TQC pie filling falls in, too. Unopened.
"Dammit," cries Labroddie. "If only that pie filling jar had been opened."
The catfish glides away, but comes back for the final sweep. Labroddie is dangerously close to the water.
He fires at the catfish. Once, twice, three times, nothing.
The air tank and pie filling are in the cat's mouth. Labroddie hits the air tank with a perfect shot. The cat keeps advancing.
Time for one last shot. "Smile you son of a bitch." Another perfect shot. Hits the TQC pie filling. The catfish explodes.
Labroddie is elated. He's safe. And the great white mutant catfish is destroyed.
Labroddie mourns the loss of his fallen comrades and paddles towards the shore.
The End
Monday, July 13, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
"Saved 'About Me'-The Newest One Is To Your Left"
Phase 1 in which Harry gets his oats. It's time for a new "about me." Most of you are holding your baited breaths and can't wait, Shirley. I love da movies; and I love da music, particularly the 4 lads from Liverpool aka da Beatles. I won't bore you with how I stood transfixed in front of my tiny black and white tv set back in the day and watched-along with 70-80 million people-as those 4 talented songsters weaved their indelible magic. It was gonna be a wild ride for the next 6 years.
Casablanca; the 7th Voyage of Sinbad; and Jaws are 3 of my favorite movies. Workwise: I am a displaced worker in the food-biz industry. All jobs suck, I guess, but nowhere can you find the hilarity and passive-aggressiveness that permeates the soul of foodbizdom. I have been writing this old blog for nigh on 4-5 years. Thanks to my friend and confidant, hootsbuddy. Anyone who wanders here, I hope you enjoy the show; you are such a lovely audience, I'd like to take you home with me, I'd love to take you home!
Casablanca; the 7th Voyage of Sinbad; and Jaws are 3 of my favorite movies. Workwise: I am a displaced worker in the food-biz industry. All jobs suck, I guess, but nowhere can you find the hilarity and passive-aggressiveness that permeates the soul of foodbizdom. I have been writing this old blog for nigh on 4-5 years. Thanks to my friend and confidant, hootsbuddy. Anyone who wanders here, I hope you enjoy the show; you are such a lovely audience, I'd like to take you home with me, I'd love to take you home!
Thursday, July 02, 2009
"Paul McCartney is Coming to Piedmont Park"
Who would have thunk it? Piedmont Park of all places. But he's a'coming. And, yes, I bought a ticket. No way I can pass this up.
I've been listening to "Rubber Soul" lately-got to tune into "Revolver" soon-haven't listened to that one in a while, a cornucopia of different sounds. So from "Rubber Soul" here's Johnny!
I've been listening to "Rubber Soul" lately-got to tune into "Revolver" soon-haven't listened to that one in a while, a cornucopia of different sounds. So from "Rubber Soul" here's Johnny!
"When We Was Fab"
The old restaurant chain where I used to work and the Fab 4 was once Fab. Great video from George. Very clever....and Fab.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
"What Time Is It?"
But, of course, it's 25 or 6 to 4. And this is Post 1923. Only uh, er, uh, 77 more to go to reach 2000.
And to all you motherf**, er, fathers out there. Happy Father's Day!
And to all you motherf**, er, fathers out there. Happy Father's Day!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
"Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?"
Had never heard this song before but heard it mentioned on one of those "I Love the 70's" show. Submitted for your listening pleasure. From Frank Zappa. Phi Zappa Crappa no doubt.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
"Lottery Winner"
My friend Marty sends me funny shtick emails every day. This one is cute. And spot on, er, right on as they say:
Can you believe it? This guy wins $181 million in
the lottery on a Wednesday and then finds
the love of his life just two days later.
Incredible -- what are the odds?
Can you believe it? This guy wins $181 million in
the lottery on a Wednesday and then finds
the love of his life just two days later.
Incredible -- what are the odds?
Monday, June 08, 2009
"Turn the Beat Around!" And Why Not I Might Add!
Me and Betsy were traversing the roads of Golden Pond, when I pulled an old cd from ye old sun visor and voila. A collection of songs from da disco era. I don't know why, but I love this song. Love to hear the percussion.
Makes me want to go out and buy a leisure suit and trip the lights fantastic.
Makes me want to go out and buy a leisure suit and trip the lights fantastic.
Friday, June 05, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
"Living in the Material World"
Because I'm a material girl er boy er cro-magnon man. Love the guitar solo and the tabla.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Methinks this be Post 1914 on my way to 2000. Like 2000 will be some sort of reawakening....or something. I am waiting with baited breath to reach this milestone.
And here's a song from Neil Young, who I saw in concert at least 2 or 3 times. v.c.
P.S. Sample and hold, eh?
And here's a song from Neil Young, who I saw in concert at least 2 or 3 times. v.c.
P.S. Sample and hold, eh?
Monday, May 18, 2009
"1912"
I'm on my Paul Mac kick. And today I was inspired by a single leaf that was lying or perched on my front door step, as I made my way to work. Opening the door and there it was. A symbol of turning over a new leaf. I can dig it. Yes, I can.
The leaf was intact and very green. Yes indeed!
Looking through the backyard of my life-time to sweep the fallen leaves away. Heavy!
The leaf was intact and very green. Yes indeed!
Looking through the backyard of my life-time to sweep the fallen leaves away. Heavy!
"Quest for 2000!"
Posts that is. This be numero 1911 so there's a good ways to go, eh?
P.S. I was gonna write more but....
P.S. I was gonna write more but....
Saturday, May 09, 2009
"Love the World Away"
I always wanted to be a d.j. since I was a kid. A fascination with music is what it was.
I forgot this tidbit about myself but remembered it for some odd reason tonite while tooling home in old Betsy.
So I'm reliving my boyhood dreams as I spin a classic from "Urban Decay," er, "Urban Cowboy."
"Do you two step?"
I forgot this tidbit about myself but remembered it for some odd reason tonite while tooling home in old Betsy.
So I'm reliving my boyhood dreams as I spin a classic from "Urban Decay," er, "Urban Cowboy."
"Do you two step?"
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Friday, April 03, 2009
"Well Well Well"
Thought I would check in and write a few words. Just haven't had the inspiration lately.
Here's a song from yesteryear, and one of my favorites from Paul McCartney. Maybe he'll play it one day in concert, and here's hoping he will be coming to town soon.
Here's a song from yesteryear, and one of my favorites from Paul McCartney. Maybe he'll play it one day in concert, and here's hoping he will be coming to town soon.
Friday, March 20, 2009
"Math"
Thanks to my friend Marty, who hails from Boca Raton, for sending me the following e mail. And because the Pond has lay dormant for awhile, I must give him his props for inspiring me to post.
So here's to you, mi amigo. And whatever happened to the Hootster, Slippery, Rockhead, and Pictruandtru? Eh?
P.S. My spell check has miraculously reappeared.
Fifty Years of Math 1957 - 2007 (in the USA )
Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:
1. Teaching Math In 1950s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?
2. Teaching Math In 1960s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
3. Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?
4. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok. )
6. Teaching Math In 2009
Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
So here's to you, mi amigo. And whatever happened to the Hootster, Slippery, Rockhead, and Pictruandtru? Eh?
P.S. My spell check has miraculously reappeared.
Fifty Years of Math 1957 - 2007 (in the USA )
Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:
1. Teaching Math In 1950s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?
2. Teaching Math In 1960s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
3. Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?
4. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok. )
6. Teaching Math In 2009
Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Monday, February 09, 2009
"Riffless"
It's been a few days since I wrote a few riffs on Golden Pond, apologies to the Fonda family. And because I don't take the time to write anything anymore, here's another post from yesteryear.
Tonite is friday and the best day of the week to catch a sci-fi flick from back in the day. [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbJkkygHUiA }When black and white cinema verite was as common as color is today. Great movies, imho. They all had the same plot:
Young teens: "Dave, you've got to believe us! We just saw a flying saucer in the desert."
Dave: "Yeah, right. I was born but not yesterday. Now get that jalopy outta here. Hey, rolled and pleated seats. You young teens got it goin' on."
Teens: "Dave, sure we're still wet behind the ears. Sure we don't know jack-diddly. Sure, our hormones are on red-alert, but we just [ seen ] a flying saucer from Mars. Or Venus? Or Uranus?"
Dave: "Watch your mouth, boys! Now get that piece of junk outta here, before I run you all in. Git, I say."
Teens: "No one believes us. What are we gonna do?"
Then there's:
Scientist: "Gentlemen, after countless days of research with the greatest minds in the world, we have perfected an anti-defamation, er, anti-galactic nerve ray, which will blow the pre-historic mutant to smithereens."
Reporters: "Hey, thanks, Doc, for breaking it down into laymen's terms. Hey, Smitty, hold the phone, I got the evening paper's headline. Give me a nickel for the phone."
And:
Teens: "Dave, the old man is dead. And he had a gelatin-like blob on his hand. Then it consumed him. Then it ate the doc; then his nurse. We've got to warn the town. Dave, you're the sheriff. You gotta do something."
Dave: "Yeah, right. You teens have been reading too many science fiction books. Now git outta here, 'fore I run you all in."
They don't make 'em like they used to, v.c.
P.S. Boyfriend: "You may look like Ellen, but you're not Ellen. What has happened to my darling?"
Ellen: "You betrayed us. And now you must die. I am an alien life force who has taken over Ellen's body."
P.S.S. And thanks to the Hootster for mentioning me in one of his latest forays.
Tonite is friday and the best day of the week to catch a sci-fi flick from back in the day. [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbJkkygHUiA }When black and white cinema verite was as common as color is today. Great movies, imho. They all had the same plot:
Young teens: "Dave, you've got to believe us! We just saw a flying saucer in the desert."
Dave: "Yeah, right. I was born but not yesterday. Now get that jalopy outta here. Hey, rolled and pleated seats. You young teens got it goin' on."
Teens: "Dave, sure we're still wet behind the ears. Sure we don't know jack-diddly. Sure, our hormones are on red-alert, but we just [ seen ] a flying saucer from Mars. Or Venus? Or Uranus?"
Dave: "Watch your mouth, boys! Now get that piece of junk outta here, before I run you all in. Git, I say."
Teens: "No one believes us. What are we gonna do?"
Then there's:
Scientist: "Gentlemen, after countless days of research with the greatest minds in the world, we have perfected an anti-defamation, er, anti-galactic nerve ray, which will blow the pre-historic mutant to smithereens."
Reporters: "Hey, thanks, Doc, for breaking it down into laymen's terms. Hey, Smitty, hold the phone, I got the evening paper's headline. Give me a nickel for the phone."
And:
Teens: "Dave, the old man is dead. And he had a gelatin-like blob on his hand. Then it consumed him. Then it ate the doc; then his nurse. We've got to warn the town. Dave, you're the sheriff. You gotta do something."
Dave: "Yeah, right. You teens have been reading too many science fiction books. Now git outta here, 'fore I run you all in."
They don't make 'em like they used to, v.c.
P.S. Boyfriend: "You may look like Ellen, but you're not Ellen. What has happened to my darling?"
Ellen: "You betrayed us. And now you must die. I am an alien life force who has taken over Ellen's body."
P.S.S. And thanks to the Hootster for mentioning me in one of his latest forays.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
"Another Post From Yesteryear!" Circa 2006
My niece, Amber, had her baby today. Congratulations are in order. And to "Bone," her enigmatic hubby, as well.
The pregnancy was her second, but this one was difficult, as Amber was on "bedrest" a few moons ago. Due to a miracle, her placenta moved, so she had her l'il one just a coppola weeks shy of the due date.
My sister, the enigmatic Olga, went to Mount Shasta to pray for her daughter's safety. Shortly afterwards, her prayers were answered.
The new arrival is a girl. Daddy Bone badly wanted wanted a boy, but, alas, it wasn't in the [ tarot ] cards. Her name has been determined-as of this writing-and she will be known as "Summer Sky." An old saying comes to mind from back in the day. "Far out!"
What happened to the traditional names like Linda, Charlene, Debbie, Shirley, and Sally? Seems Bone and Amber bypassed the newer hip names like Brittney, Caitlin, Demi, and well, er, uh, Olga by thinking "outside the box." If I had been aware of their wishes for an oddball, er, unusual name, I could have helped out. My suggestions: [ as if anybody asked? ]
1) Winter Solstice
2) Spring Forward
3) Fall Back
4) Autumn Leaves
5) Global Warming
6) Red Sky in Morning Sailors Take Warning
7) Blue Sky at Night Sailors Delight
8) Moon River
9) Summer Solstice
10) International Dateline
11) v.c.
Congrats, v.c.
P.S. And whatever happened to naming yer kids with initials?
a) L.B.
b) J.D.
c) I.C.B.M
d) J.R.
e) O.J.
f) v.c.
g) E.T.C.
The pregnancy was her second, but this one was difficult, as Amber was on "bedrest" a few moons ago. Due to a miracle, her placenta moved, so she had her l'il one just a coppola weeks shy of the due date.
My sister, the enigmatic Olga, went to Mount Shasta to pray for her daughter's safety. Shortly afterwards, her prayers were answered.
The new arrival is a girl. Daddy Bone badly wanted wanted a boy, but, alas, it wasn't in the [ tarot ] cards. Her name has been determined-as of this writing-and she will be known as "Summer Sky." An old saying comes to mind from back in the day. "Far out!"
What happened to the traditional names like Linda, Charlene, Debbie, Shirley, and Sally? Seems Bone and Amber bypassed the newer hip names like Brittney, Caitlin, Demi, and well, er, uh, Olga by thinking "outside the box." If I had been aware of their wishes for an oddball, er, unusual name, I could have helped out. My suggestions: [ as if anybody asked? ]
1) Winter Solstice
2) Spring Forward
3) Fall Back
4) Autumn Leaves
5) Global Warming
6) Red Sky in Morning Sailors Take Warning
7) Blue Sky at Night Sailors Delight
8) Moon River
9) Summer Solstice
10) International Dateline
11) v.c.
Congrats, v.c.
P.S. And whatever happened to naming yer kids with initials?
a) L.B.
b) J.D.
c) I.C.B.M
d) J.R.
e) O.J.
f) v.c.
g) E.T.C.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
"Gran Torino"
It's been a few days or moons since I penned a few riffs on Golden Pond. Seems I don't have the time anymore. Or maybe I don't take the time. Writing here has always been a labor of love. And a sort of therapy if you will. And a diary, a journal-call it what you will.
In forays from October of last year, petrol was hard to find and cost a staggering $4.37 per gallon. Whew! Unprecedented it was. These days the price has been as low as $1.32 thanks to shopping at Kroger, the super-duper supermarket chain. Lately, however, gasoline at the pumps has been slowly inching upwards. Hello marketplace.
On an unrelated note, Clint Eastwood has a new movie out called "Gran Torino." And, of course, it's number one at the box office.
My friend from kindergarten, Bogus Bob, owned a '69 Torino. Gas in those days hovered around a quarter a gallon. 4 in the floor it was. And a petrol guzzler.
The trailer follows: Methinks yours truly would like to see this film.
In forays from October of last year, petrol was hard to find and cost a staggering $4.37 per gallon. Whew! Unprecedented it was. These days the price has been as low as $1.32 thanks to shopping at Kroger, the super-duper supermarket chain. Lately, however, gasoline at the pumps has been slowly inching upwards. Hello marketplace.
On an unrelated note, Clint Eastwood has a new movie out called "Gran Torino." And, of course, it's number one at the box office.
My friend from kindergarten, Bogus Bob, owned a '69 Torino. Gas in those days hovered around a quarter a gallon. 4 in the floor it was. And a petrol guzzler.
The trailer follows: Methinks yours truly would like to see this film.
Monday, January 05, 2009
"Happy New Year":
Happy New Year to everyone who ventures this way. Which ain't a lot of people. Oh, well. You gotta git in where you fit in as they say in the vernacular.
The weather tonight is idyllic. Dark storm clouds have been hanging around for a while and are dribbling a few rain drops our way. It's probably rainin' all over the world.
So have a good year. And keep Newt in the road.
Farewell and skidoo, v.c.
P.S. On the subject of wishing, a full tilt blizzard would be just grand. We haven't had one of those in quite some time.
The weather tonight is idyllic. Dark storm clouds have been hanging around for a while and are dribbling a few rain drops our way. It's probably rainin' all over the world.
So have a good year. And keep Newt in the road.
Farewell and skidoo, v.c.
P.S. On the subject of wishing, a full tilt blizzard would be just grand. We haven't had one of those in quite some time.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
"Merry Christmas"
And a classic song from yesterday courtesy of youtube and one of my subscriptions.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
"3 D Horror Is Back!"
Merry Christmas to you and yours. And in January take the family to see "My Bloody Valentine." Shades of the 80's. And in 3-D to boot. And who says they don't make 'em like they used to?
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
"Attack of the Crab Monsters"
Now this is my kind of movie. Shot in glorious black and white aka ebony and ivory. Circa 1957. And, alas, they don't make 'em like they used to.
Sunday, December 07, 2008
"My John Lennon Tribute"
It was 28 years ago today, the death of John Lennon. I remember watching the MNF telecast, and Howard Cosell alerting the national audience of John's death. Unbelievable it was. My tribute follows: To my boyhood idol.
Saturday, December 06, 2008
"Black Beatles"
Here's a reprint from Yesterday. Funny shtick featuring songs from the "Black Beatles" like "We All Live In A Yellow Coup de Ville"; "I Be 6 Feet Four"; and "I Should Have Known Better With a Bitch Like You"; among others.
Friday, December 05, 2008
Thursday, December 04, 2008
"White Coconut Cake"
I haven't penned anything lately, so because I am a long-suffering food service employee, here's a great recipe for Christmas, provided, of course, you like coconut cake.
From the Food Network it is. So indulge and make the darn thing. There are other options such as traversing so far to your favorite supermarket. But it wouldn't be as good as doing it yourself.
And Christmas is just right around the corner. As for me, I'm dreaming of a white one. With chestnuts roasting on an open fire-Jack Frost nipping at your heels.
Gimme shelter, v.c.
From the Food Network it is. So indulge and make the darn thing. There are other options such as traversing so far to your favorite supermarket. But it wouldn't be as good as doing it yourself.
And Christmas is just right around the corner. As for me, I'm dreaming of a white one. With chestnuts roasting on an open fire-Jack Frost nipping at your heels.
Gimme shelter, v.c.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
"From YesterYear....Circa 2004"
I got a spike in traffic today. From whence did it come? None other than my post from 2004 "Get Yer 10-12 lb. Turkey at H.W." Seems the last minute buying mania is in full-swing. Do I miss it? Hell Whole no! Reprinted via permission from yers truly.
Well, it's hell week. Catering time. And time to dust off those famous words:
10-12 pound turkey
2 qts. of cornbread dressing
A pint of cranberry sauce
A dozen rolls
And a pumpkin or pecan pie.
Back in the day we never included the pie or rolls. And we made dressing in the bain maries. For those unfamiliar with the terminology, it is a rectangular holding tank filled with water and kept hot with gas burners. [ see Paleolithic Age for more details ]
And we used to swish our ladles in the water whenever we needed a quick fix for the serving line. But with the advent of stricter sanitation requirements, swishing is a lost art.
And the staff is required to wash their hands more. And some even wear latex bras, er, gloves. Apologies to Playtex. And whatever happened to girdles? Again, back in the day, every female HAD to wear one. You just weren't one of the "in" crowd if you didn't squeeze your midriff, via the buttocks region, into a Playtex girdle.
I guess they went the way of pantylooms, poodle skirts, saddle oxfords, penny loafers, and bouffant hair styles. Was it Twiggy who led the way? Or Mary Quant, or was it Helen Gurdy Brown? Who knows or who cares?
And the staff is required to have clean aprons. Wiping your mouth on one or blowing your nose into one is strictly verboten.
And the art of putting your fingers into a veggie bowl so you can get a better grip-better leverage- is not allowed anymore.
And dented cans? Throw 'em out. So's you don't serve botulism stew.
And you got to "date dot" the product. The day of trying to squeeze [ see girdle paragraph ] another week out of the pork chow mein is no longer considered appropriate behavior.
And cooking enough fried chicken in the morning to last until 8:30 p.m. is now out of the question. Doesn't fit the hot holding guidelines. Same for chop beef, fried cod, er, pollock, catfish, er, basa, er, tilapia, and hushpuppies.
Another no-no. The days of allowing the truck driver to bring in torn bags of flour, sugar, meal, etc. are kaput. Fini'. Cos we don't know what kind of critters done crawled up in that bag. Boll weevil, roach, varmint-name your poison.
Well, I could go on and on. But it's Thanksgiving. And I need my beauty sleep. Cos it's Hell Week at H.W. [ Hell Whole ]
Farewell and adieu, v.c.
Well, it's hell week. Catering time. And time to dust off those famous words:
10-12 pound turkey
2 qts. of cornbread dressing
A pint of cranberry sauce
A dozen rolls
And a pumpkin or pecan pie.
Back in the day we never included the pie or rolls. And we made dressing in the bain maries. For those unfamiliar with the terminology, it is a rectangular holding tank filled with water and kept hot with gas burners. [ see Paleolithic Age for more details ]
And we used to swish our ladles in the water whenever we needed a quick fix for the serving line. But with the advent of stricter sanitation requirements, swishing is a lost art.
And the staff is required to wash their hands more. And some even wear latex bras, er, gloves. Apologies to Playtex. And whatever happened to girdles? Again, back in the day, every female HAD to wear one. You just weren't one of the "in" crowd if you didn't squeeze your midriff, via the buttocks region, into a Playtex girdle.
I guess they went the way of pantylooms, poodle skirts, saddle oxfords, penny loafers, and bouffant hair styles. Was it Twiggy who led the way? Or Mary Quant, or was it Helen Gurdy Brown? Who knows or who cares?
And the staff is required to have clean aprons. Wiping your mouth on one or blowing your nose into one is strictly verboten.
And the art of putting your fingers into a veggie bowl so you can get a better grip-better leverage- is not allowed anymore.
And dented cans? Throw 'em out. So's you don't serve botulism stew.
And you got to "date dot" the product. The day of trying to squeeze [ see girdle paragraph ] another week out of the pork chow mein is no longer considered appropriate behavior.
And cooking enough fried chicken in the morning to last until 8:30 p.m. is now out of the question. Doesn't fit the hot holding guidelines. Same for chop beef, fried cod, er, pollock, catfish, er, basa, er, tilapia, and hushpuppies.
Another no-no. The days of allowing the truck driver to bring in torn bags of flour, sugar, meal, etc. are kaput. Fini'. Cos we don't know what kind of critters done crawled up in that bag. Boll weevil, roach, varmint-name your poison.
Well, I could go on and on. But it's Thanksgiving. And I need my beauty sleep. Cos it's Hell Week at H.W. [ Hell Whole ]
Farewell and adieu, v.c.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
"Great Balls of Fire!"
I loved Jerry Lee as a kid, even going so far as to play our green sofa as my pumping piano. Whilst listening and/or lip-synching to the record. I really dug him-rock n' roll, ya know. It was a shame he vanished from the landscape when he erred by marrying his 13 year old [ second cousin once removed ]. The following song is heavy [ slang 60's word ] even tho' the dialogue is in Spanish. The black dude he's talking to on stage is Chuck Berry. Seems Chuck has top billing, but Jerry has the current number one record in the U.S. So Jerry wants to close the show. But the contract is binding, so Chuck will close. After his performance he allegedly says to Chuck: "Follow that, Killer!"
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Thursday, November 06, 2008
"You Can't Do That"
Excellent archive. Fab 4 singing a song in Melbourne, Australia. Circa 1964. I'm enclosing the link, cos I don't want them to discontinue it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3O79UtLotc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3O79UtLotc
Friday, October 31, 2008
"Long Time Gone"
It's been a while since I have written a few riffs. No one seems to have missed me, which brings us to the story of my life.
With all that said, I am about to pontificate on the upcoming election. Yes. Barack Obama will win. Marxist policies aside and all that. The economy is in the tank, and when that happens, the new kid on the block takes over. It happened with Jimmy "Inflation" Carter and will continue.
So get ready for a new philosophy in the White House!
On a dissimilar vein, the Phils won the World Series, and Tony Romo is still sidelined with a broken pinkie finger.
That's it. From this pontificator. Gimme shelter, v.c.
With all that said, I am about to pontificate on the upcoming election. Yes. Barack Obama will win. Marxist policies aside and all that. The economy is in the tank, and when that happens, the new kid on the block takes over. It happened with Jimmy "Inflation" Carter and will continue.
So get ready for a new philosophy in the White House!
On a dissimilar vein, the Phils won the World Series, and Tony Romo is still sidelined with a broken pinkie finger.
That's it. From this pontificator. Gimme shelter, v.c.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
"Carl Perkins, Anyone?"
Who in the fuck is Carl Perkins? A Rockabilly hootnanny hoot kinda guy from back in the daze. who wrote this one and "Blue Suede Shoes" and "Everybody's Trying to be my Baby!" To name a few.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Friday, October 03, 2008
"Riffs"
Yes, by being in the food biz, I must admit to a daily dose of watching the floor and seeing if it needs sweeping. Unfortunately, for me that is. Sweep the floor; mop the floor; eyeball the floor; I'm tired of looking at the freaking floors-if you know what I mean.
Anyway I thought I'd jot down a few lines-a few riffs if you will. Seems I'm out of touch with the real world. Even tho' I do know there's a lot of panic out there. No where to buy petrol on a regular basis; debates with the Dems and Repubs; mortgage dilemmas with homeowners and banks, ye old lending institutions; bailouts from the government; and on and on.
Yet October is here and baseball is in full swing. Shirley, oblivious to the problems of John Doe. And the Cubs are losing once again. Seems the curse of the goat is still manifesting itself. Or perhaps they have worse luck than yours truly. And will someone finally concede that Jolting Joe Torre is a helluva manager. Who made the playoffs with the Braves, Yankees, and now the Dodgers. Hall of Fame in my book.
And Tampa Bay finally won a playoff game. Its first ever.
So life goes on....bra. Apologies to a group which once called Liverpool home.
And my riffs are through....fini'....kaput.
Out of touch in '08, v.c.
P.S. Here's looking at you, kid.
P.S.S. The cure
According to three interviews with Sam Sianis, William Sianis' nephew-in-law, the Curse of The Billy Goat can be dispelled only by the Chicago Cubs organization's showing a sincere fondness for goats; allowing them into Wrigley Field because they genuinely want to, not simply for publicity reasons. Maybe the real cure, however, involves the Detroit Tigers, as the Cubs lost to them in the 1945 World Series, would've played them in the 1984 World Series had they beaten San Diego one more time, and, most importantly, beat them both times they won the World Series, in 1907 and 1908, respectively. [3]
Anyway I thought I'd jot down a few lines-a few riffs if you will. Seems I'm out of touch with the real world. Even tho' I do know there's a lot of panic out there. No where to buy petrol on a regular basis; debates with the Dems and Repubs; mortgage dilemmas with homeowners and banks, ye old lending institutions; bailouts from the government; and on and on.
Yet October is here and baseball is in full swing. Shirley, oblivious to the problems of John Doe. And the Cubs are losing once again. Seems the curse of the goat is still manifesting itself. Or perhaps they have worse luck than yours truly. And will someone finally concede that Jolting Joe Torre is a helluva manager. Who made the playoffs with the Braves, Yankees, and now the Dodgers. Hall of Fame in my book.
And Tampa Bay finally won a playoff game. Its first ever.
So life goes on....bra. Apologies to a group which once called Liverpool home.
And my riffs are through....fini'....kaput.
Out of touch in '08, v.c.
P.S. Here's looking at you, kid.
P.S.S. The cure
According to three interviews with Sam Sianis, William Sianis' nephew-in-law, the Curse of The Billy Goat can be dispelled only by the Chicago Cubs organization's showing a sincere fondness for goats; allowing them into Wrigley Field because they genuinely want to, not simply for publicity reasons. Maybe the real cure, however, involves the Detroit Tigers, as the Cubs lost to them in the 1945 World Series, would've played them in the 1984 World Series had they beaten San Diego one more time, and, most importantly, beat them both times they won the World Series, in 1907 and 1908, respectively. [3]
Sunday, September 28, 2008
"I Look at the Floor and See It Needs Sweeping"
This is an incredible version. No one can sing it better than the writer himself. And one of my favorites from the Fab 4.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
"Tooling Home Revisited And How My Filling Station Is Out Of Petrol"
Regular and unleaded that is. Does diesel count? Who would have ever thunk it?
Saturday, September 13, 2008
"Tooling Home Revisited"
Me and old Betsy were tooling home tonight when I let out a who'd a thunk it, and she let out a groan. What caused our distress? The filling station we passed was advertising petrol at a mere $4.39 a gallon. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! $.80 a gallon rise in one day has to be a record. Call Ripley and exclaim "what the fuck?"
Seems our capitalistic system is working just fine thank you. Hurricane's are a'brewing and the market has reacted.
But enough of life's little problems. Here's another one from Frenchy and 6626-the lead guitarist. Frenchy plays a mean bass. And they are Fab 4 fans. Like you know who.
Take it away, Frenchy. v.c.
I've worked with one of the most talented guitar player,jun626, youtube musician for this song "And your bird can sing"!
This guy is incredible,he plays so cool,moreover is the nicest man i've ever met on youtube,one day he just asked me if we could work together on my new beatles video,and i was as excited as him!
I advise you to have a look right now on his channel,he plays some guitar beatles works with lot of talent,and i was also impressed by his led zeppelin guitar works.He has done a huge work,and there are lots of videos.
http://fr.youtube.com/jun626
He is also an astute video editer,he edited this video,i could not do better.
Internet is magic,we each live at the different sides of the earth and we could do this project quickly,it was so cool,with a lot of friendship and musician respect.
Instruments used:
Jun 626 used his yellow gibson SG
I played on my hofner and used a nice rickenbacker copy.
Thanks for watching this video,and have a good day,or evening :)
Julien.
Category: Music
Tags: beatles and your bird can sing frenchytouch jun626
Seems our capitalistic system is working just fine thank you. Hurricane's are a'brewing and the market has reacted.
But enough of life's little problems. Here's another one from Frenchy and 6626-the lead guitarist. Frenchy plays a mean bass. And they are Fab 4 fans. Like you know who.
Take it away, Frenchy. v.c.
I've worked with one of the most talented guitar player,jun626, youtube musician for this song "And your bird can sing"!
This guy is incredible,he plays so cool,moreover is the nicest man i've ever met on youtube,one day he just asked me if we could work together on my new beatles video,and i was as excited as him!
I advise you to have a look right now on his channel,he plays some guitar beatles works with lot of talent,and i was also impressed by his led zeppelin guitar works.He has done a huge work,and there are lots of videos.
http://fr.youtube.com/jun626
He is also an astute video editer,he edited this video,i could not do better.
Internet is magic,we each live at the different sides of the earth and we could do this project quickly,it was so cool,with a lot of friendship and musician respect.
Instruments used:
Jun 626 used his yellow gibson SG
I played on my hofner and used a nice rickenbacker copy.
Thanks for watching this video,and have a good day,or evening :)
Julien.
Category: Music
Tags: beatles and your bird can sing frenchytouch jun626
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
"The Snowman and The Hootster"
The Snowman ( Jerry Reed ) is dead and I'm sad. And the Hootster is taking a hiatus. I'm sad about that as well.
I left a comment on H.P. but not sure it went through. Microsoft error ya know. Plus, the hootster himself hasta approve any comments made by aliens from outter space. So time will tell.
Every now and then a movie comes along that sweeps and intrigues the nation. "Smokey and the Bandit" was one of those films. With an all star cast and a fledgling actress named Sally Field. Jackie Gleason gave the funniest performance of his life.
R.I.P Snowman. And what a song he penned! v.c.
I left a comment on H.P. but not sure it went through. Microsoft error ya know. Plus, the hootster himself hasta approve any comments made by aliens from outter space. So time will tell.
Every now and then a movie comes along that sweeps and intrigues the nation. "Smokey and the Bandit" was one of those films. With an all star cast and a fledgling actress named Sally Field. Jackie Gleason gave the funniest performance of his life.
R.I.P Snowman. And what a song he penned! v.c.
Monday, September 01, 2008
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