Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
"Shaken-Not Stirred"
I have always been a fan of Bond, James Bond. Sean Connery was the best. Roger Moore-forget it. Too mean spirited and too goofy looking. He was a pale comparison to the original. The rest were subpar. Timothy Dalton was ok, but the mystique had faded by the time he arrived. And Pierce Brosnan-too well known, plus I always remember him as the future step-dad of Robin Williams' kids in Mrs. Doubtfire. Daniel Craig, the newest Bond, seems to have been a good choice. And has little or no baggage-for me-because I had never seen him in any thing else.
All that aside, last night I had a dream. And I was Bond. It went like this!
M: Come in, 00vc.
00vc: Yessir.
M: Your next mission! Read this!
00vc: "For my eyes only...." Yes, sir, I will do my best.
M: What do you know about gold, 00vc?
00vc: Well, I know, sir, that the largest concentration lies across the water in Fort Knox, Kentucky. It's a great way to hedge inflation in one's portfolio. And you find many rappers who wear it in their mouths.
M: Righto! Would you like some brandy?
00vc: The last I had here, sir, was a bit disappointing. No thank you. So what does gold have to do with my assignment?
M: Are you familiar with a concept known as Burger King?
00vc: I have rarely dined there, but, of course, I know it's the home of the Whopper. And has some of the zaniest commercials obviously written by persons delusional on drugs.
M: Spot on, 00vc.
00vc: Sir, I know you're my superior, but the phrase, "spot on," actually annoys me very deeply.
M: Harump. Remember to whom you're talking? Now where was I? Yes, gold bullion. An employee of Burger King has microfilm imbedded in one of his front gold teeth. We're not sure which one. Your assignment will be to, er, extricate it from his person and bring it back to merry old England.
00vc: What's in the microfilm, sir?
M: Top secret, 00vc. From what we understand, it contains a new formula for soy bean burgers.
00vc: You've got to be joking. I was expecting the film to contain plans for a new lecter, as pursued by yours truly in my last caper, "From Prussia with Love."
M: No, nothing that exciting, but it could be very dangerous. This soy bean burger must never see the light of day, 00vc. We must get that tooth, er, microfilm.
00vc: This case seems more suited for Felix, Felix Lighter of the CIA, than for myself. Respectfully submitted, sir!
M: Felix is quite busy these days in Iraq and Iran. And in the United States, he is leveraging a few members of congress to split the electoral votes in California. Thus, the British Empire and the fate of the world is in your hands, 00vc.
00vc: Where is my destination, sir?
M: San Francisco. Your contact is Trans Fat. He will assist you in your quest to find the team member in question.
00vc: How will I recognize this Trans Fat?
M: When you arrive at the airport look for a man eating a double meat double cheese Whopper, super-sized of course.
00vc: Of course. But how will I know for sure it's Trans Fat?
M: By code, 00vc. When you walk up to him, ask "have it your way?" He will reply, "hold the pickle?"
00vc: But of course.
M: Good now Q Branch has outfitted you with everything you'll need for this assignment.
00vc: Very good, sir. I was thinking a new Aston-Martin, a briefcase with twenty gold sovereigns with daggers concealed in each side, and l'il Nellie, my small-sized helicopter from my next-to-last caper, "You Only Get Fired Thrice!"
M: No, you want be needing any of those things, 00vc. Q Branch is supplying you with antacids and cholesterol reducing drugs. You'll be eating at a few Burger Kings as part of the assignment. We have you booked on the next airliner to San Francisco. Good luck to you, 00vc.
00vc: Thank you, sir.
M: And none of the usual pleasantries with Moneypenny on your way out. Speed is of the essence.\
00vc: Yes, sir. I name this latest caper: "Trans Fat is Forever."
All that aside, last night I had a dream. And I was Bond. It went like this!
M: Come in, 00vc.
00vc: Yessir.
M: Your next mission! Read this!
00vc: "For my eyes only...." Yes, sir, I will do my best.
M: What do you know about gold, 00vc?
00vc: Well, I know, sir, that the largest concentration lies across the water in Fort Knox, Kentucky. It's a great way to hedge inflation in one's portfolio. And you find many rappers who wear it in their mouths.
M: Righto! Would you like some brandy?
00vc: The last I had here, sir, was a bit disappointing. No thank you. So what does gold have to do with my assignment?
M: Are you familiar with a concept known as Burger King?
00vc: I have rarely dined there, but, of course, I know it's the home of the Whopper. And has some of the zaniest commercials obviously written by persons delusional on drugs.
M: Spot on, 00vc.
00vc: Sir, I know you're my superior, but the phrase, "spot on," actually annoys me very deeply.
M: Harump. Remember to whom you're talking? Now where was I? Yes, gold bullion. An employee of Burger King has microfilm imbedded in one of his front gold teeth. We're not sure which one. Your assignment will be to, er, extricate it from his person and bring it back to merry old England.
00vc: What's in the microfilm, sir?
M: Top secret, 00vc. From what we understand, it contains a new formula for soy bean burgers.
00vc: You've got to be joking. I was expecting the film to contain plans for a new lecter, as pursued by yours truly in my last caper, "From Prussia with Love."
M: No, nothing that exciting, but it could be very dangerous. This soy bean burger must never see the light of day, 00vc. We must get that tooth, er, microfilm.
00vc: This case seems more suited for Felix, Felix Lighter of the CIA, than for myself. Respectfully submitted, sir!
M: Felix is quite busy these days in Iraq and Iran. And in the United States, he is leveraging a few members of congress to split the electoral votes in California. Thus, the British Empire and the fate of the world is in your hands, 00vc.
00vc: Where is my destination, sir?
M: San Francisco. Your contact is Trans Fat. He will assist you in your quest to find the team member in question.
00vc: How will I recognize this Trans Fat?
M: When you arrive at the airport look for a man eating a double meat double cheese Whopper, super-sized of course.
00vc: Of course. But how will I know for sure it's Trans Fat?
M: By code, 00vc. When you walk up to him, ask "have it your way?" He will reply, "hold the pickle?"
00vc: But of course.
M: Good now Q Branch has outfitted you with everything you'll need for this assignment.
00vc: Very good, sir. I was thinking a new Aston-Martin, a briefcase with twenty gold sovereigns with daggers concealed in each side, and l'il Nellie, my small-sized helicopter from my next-to-last caper, "You Only Get Fired Thrice!"
M: No, you want be needing any of those things, 00vc. Q Branch is supplying you with antacids and cholesterol reducing drugs. You'll be eating at a few Burger Kings as part of the assignment. We have you booked on the next airliner to San Francisco. Good luck to you, 00vc.
00vc: Thank you, sir.
M: And none of the usual pleasantries with Moneypenny on your way out. Speed is of the essence.\
00vc: Yes, sir. I name this latest caper: "Trans Fat is Forever."
Thursday, September 20, 2007
"SUV Crashes While Couple in Back Seat Are Having Sex"
MOSCOW, Idaho - A carnival worker who hit a telephone pole with his SUV blamed the crash on two friends having sex in the back seat.
Joshua D. Frank, who had been living on the Latah County Fairgrounds, pleaded guilty Monday to a misdemeanor charge of failing to notify a police officer of a traffic accident. He was fined $188.
Frank told Moscow police he was driving near downtown early Saturday while a man and woman were having sex in the rear of the vehicle. According to a probable cause affidavit, he said the movement caused the SUV to become "tippy" and he lost control of it.
Frank, 22, suffered a minor head wound in the crash and his friends were treated for unspecified injuries, according to the affidavit.
Joshua D. Frank, who had been living on the Latah County Fairgrounds, pleaded guilty Monday to a misdemeanor charge of failing to notify a police officer of a traffic accident. He was fined $188.
Frank told Moscow police he was driving near downtown early Saturday while a man and woman were having sex in the rear of the vehicle. According to a probable cause affidavit, he said the movement caused the SUV to become "tippy" and he lost control of it.
Frank, 22, suffered a minor head wound in the crash and his friends were treated for unspecified injuries, according to the affidavit.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
"What I Watched on TV Tonite" and "Who Cares Anyway?"
ABC had a tribute show tonite for the King. And AMC was showing Hitchcock. If possible, I always watch the opening sequences of "Vertigo." A man is being chased by a policeman and Jimmy Stewart, who is in plain clothes. They're running across the rooftops of San Francisco. The alleged perpetrator jumps onto an inclined building; the flatfoot jumps, too, stumbles but recovers and continues the pursuit. Jimmy follows, hits the same spot and slides down to the gutter and holds on for dear life.
Anyone who has seen the movie knows the poor cop returns to help Jimmy.
"Gimme your hand," he says. "Argggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" is the last thing he says as he falls to the street from a 20 story building. After this encounter, Jimmy develops vertigo.
Great movie and great score. v.c., who is rushed tonite so quickie foray.
P.S. And the Braves won 4-3. Who'd a thunk it?
Anyone who has seen the movie knows the poor cop returns to help Jimmy.
"Gimme your hand," he says. "Argggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" is the last thing he says as he falls to the street from a 20 story building. After this encounter, Jimmy develops vertigo.
Great movie and great score. v.c., who is rushed tonite so quickie foray.
P.S. And the Braves won 4-3. Who'd a thunk it?
"New Post From Golden Pond"
Hoots, I tried to leave you a message on H.P. but my computer is still acting up, so I'm depositing it here.
The gambling foray was quite interesting. The nerdy radio announcer is quite good actually. At the end when he said he had been consumed with playing texas Hold'Em and had lost a lot of money, I had to laugh when he mentioned the amount was a measly $350.00. Like that was a lotta money.
I will share some of my exploits later. Exploits is a good word here, because I'm the one who has been exploited. Unfortunately.
I've always heard the life of a pro gambler is a lonely one, but the radio program painted an entirely different picture. Interesting, too, how the female player had been in a 7 month losing skid. And how most of the gamblers have sometimes lost everything, but most have managed to make comebacks. Wonder how they are financed? Loans from the bank? Loans from the mafia? Offers they can't refuse, eh? Or from loan sharks who charge %75 interest.
Good tale and I truly loved the nerdy announcer. He seems to have the fevah.
Lost Wages or Las Vegas? v.c.
P.S. I watched the MNF game. What bias tonite from the announcers. All were pro-Philly. Especially Ron Jaworski. Is Joe Theisman not on the broadcasts this year? Ron J. is a bust. Oh yeah btw, he's an ex-Philly quarterback. Bias in the media. Nah! If so, who'd a thunk it?
P.S.S. I now know what's wrong with my job search. I have lost the.... Video to explain.
The gambling foray was quite interesting. The nerdy radio announcer is quite good actually. At the end when he said he had been consumed with playing texas Hold'Em and had lost a lot of money, I had to laugh when he mentioned the amount was a measly $350.00. Like that was a lotta money.
I will share some of my exploits later. Exploits is a good word here, because I'm the one who has been exploited. Unfortunately.
I've always heard the life of a pro gambler is a lonely one, but the radio program painted an entirely different picture. Interesting, too, how the female player had been in a 7 month losing skid. And how most of the gamblers have sometimes lost everything, but most have managed to make comebacks. Wonder how they are financed? Loans from the bank? Loans from the mafia? Offers they can't refuse, eh? Or from loan sharks who charge %75 interest.
Good tale and I truly loved the nerdy announcer. He seems to have the fevah.
Lost Wages or Las Vegas? v.c.
P.S. I watched the MNF game. What bias tonite from the announcers. All were pro-Philly. Especially Ron Jaworski. Is Joe Theisman not on the broadcasts this year? Ron J. is a bust. Oh yeah btw, he's an ex-Philly quarterback. Bias in the media. Nah! If so, who'd a thunk it?
P.S.S. I now know what's wrong with my job search. I have lost the.... Video to explain.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
"Vickless"
The proprietor of G.P. took a much-needed hiatus. And it's been a while since the Fab 4 was mentioned, my all-time favorite music. Eleanor Rigby and all the lonely people and all that. Spot on! Another new millineum term that rankles my nerve endings. You will never hear me utter this phrase. Never! N-E-V-E-R. I would feel a bit effiminate, if you will. Sure we males have a feminine side, but I ain't gonna broadcast mine by saying spot-on. What in the food chain does that mean anyway? And who the f*** came up with the saying. And who started banding it around. The f***** "should be shot in the tail with hot peas."
A saying from my great Aunt Madeline. God rest her soul, she of the gingivitis-ravaged mouth. Whose favorite meal was chicken and dumplings and cornbread drenched in buttermilk. She of the big titties-of which she was proud-and who dusted them with powder bought at Rich's Department Store. Aunt Mad's madcap adventures have been chronicled in forays here on G.P. in the last few years. She was definitely one of a kind, and, Shirley, my eccentricities hail from her genes. See Darwin for more information.
Spot on, er, right on. Switching gears allah a bug from the 60's.
The Falcons lost again. And the 15 year old place kicker missed two field goals, one from close range; the other a more difficult 45 footer. Hooked 'em to the right. The kicker, he of the multi-tattooed arms, may be looking for a new job this week, allah yours truly.
The Dawgs won; LSU slaughtered a light weight; Tennessee lost by a bunch-the most in Phillip Fulmers tenure; and Tony Romo propelled da Cowboys to victory. And Ga. Tech looked awful vs. Boston College. Chan Gailey may be heading back to Big D before this year is up. They say I'm laid back, but whilst perusing the dictionary for the term, there was a prominent picture of the boy in all his glory.
Fun weekend, nevertheless. And how 'bout them cheating Pats winning big over San Diego. And whatever happened to Marty Shottenheimer?
All fair's in love and war. v.c.
P.S. Spot on? Sorry, my effiminate side just doesn't get it.
A saying from my great Aunt Madeline. God rest her soul, she of the gingivitis-ravaged mouth. Whose favorite meal was chicken and dumplings and cornbread drenched in buttermilk. She of the big titties-of which she was proud-and who dusted them with powder bought at Rich's Department Store. Aunt Mad's madcap adventures have been chronicled in forays here on G.P. in the last few years. She was definitely one of a kind, and, Shirley, my eccentricities hail from her genes. See Darwin for more information.
Spot on, er, right on. Switching gears allah a bug from the 60's.
The Falcons lost again. And the 15 year old place kicker missed two field goals, one from close range; the other a more difficult 45 footer. Hooked 'em to the right. The kicker, he of the multi-tattooed arms, may be looking for a new job this week, allah yours truly.
The Dawgs won; LSU slaughtered a light weight; Tennessee lost by a bunch-the most in Phillip Fulmers tenure; and Tony Romo propelled da Cowboys to victory. And Ga. Tech looked awful vs. Boston College. Chan Gailey may be heading back to Big D before this year is up. They say I'm laid back, but whilst perusing the dictionary for the term, there was a prominent picture of the boy in all his glory.
Fun weekend, nevertheless. And how 'bout them cheating Pats winning big over San Diego. And whatever happened to Marty Shottenheimer?
All fair's in love and war. v.c.
P.S. Spot on? Sorry, my effiminate side just doesn't get it.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
"Sigh"
Once again yours truly's "Golden Pond" has not made it into the select group of blogs aptly entitled "blogs of note." It bears asking why the injustice? G.P. has scintillating writing, not read since the days of Hemmingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and Lewis Grizzard.
*side note before "moving forward." [ one of my non-favorite sayings of the new millineum, ergo, "it is what it is." ] I dined at Sprawberry's Barbecue today in Newnan, Ga. Not the original location but the second one on Bullsboro. A "Lewis Grizzard" was featured on the menu. Pork sandwich, brunswick stew, and onion rings. Yum yum, eh? Instead of the high-cholesterol treat, I opted for the "Houston." Which is a pork sandwich-outer portions read the menu-smothered in brunswick stew. It came with two slices of sweet pickles.
Now yours truly is a big fan of brunswick stew. Sprayberry's isn't that good, unfortunately. It's like the kind you get out of a can. ( the sentence doesn't smack of Hemmingway ) I always liked "Old Hickory House" brunswick stew. The best I've ever had. Needless to say, there ain't no more O.H.H.'s around anymore, unless there's some up near hoots' area. I remember, too, buying a salad at O.H.H. once and had to opt for slaw, when the server brought it out and it was nothing but brown pieces of lettuce. Not just the tips and ends but all of it.
"Oh, no, you didn't," ( another popular phrase ) I should have told my server. Evidently, the old girl had never eaten a salad. And evidently, this may be why they are no longer in business.
Back to G.P. Where else can you find a blog that has a different main heading photograph every day? Where else can you find a blog that doesn't overuse the word "I." Oh, it drives me batty reading some of these other blogger forays. And where else can you get a dose of original writing, sports, and movie trivia?
If I could only get my readers in Pakistan, Nova Scotia, Iceland, Brasilia, Istanbul, and the Fiji Islands to write to the google gods or whoever's in charge of making the distinction, then perhaps my blog can become one of the elite.
Here's keeping my fingers crossed, v.c.
P.S. The ones that did make the list and their descriptions:
1) "Hootnanny Hoot:" Recaptures hoedowns of yesteryear.
2) "I Hear You Knocking, But You Can't Come In:" Creditors a problem? This blog chronicles ploys to thwart them.
3) "Dog Day Afternoon:" A scathing foray into the Atlanta Falcons season, 2007.
4) "Whole in the Roof:" Chronicles the drenched spectators at a Cowboys-Giants match. From the humidity, no less.
5) "BBQ for Us Two:" Grammar snafus taken from the different medias.
6) "Slippery:" Tales of a trombonist from a high school named "Rowdy High."
7) "Root 66:" Recipes from around the world.
8) "Hootsbuddy's Baste:" Recipes from an old hippie white guy, who is now misunderstood by his diverse charges."
9) "Who'd A'Thunk It?" Zany antics abound in ribald hilarity.
10) "Golden Ponder:" An alum from back in the daze sends plaudits to the proprietor. Who thanks him for the kind words.
*side note before "moving forward." [ one of my non-favorite sayings of the new millineum, ergo, "it is what it is." ] I dined at Sprawberry's Barbecue today in Newnan, Ga. Not the original location but the second one on Bullsboro. A "Lewis Grizzard" was featured on the menu. Pork sandwich, brunswick stew, and onion rings. Yum yum, eh? Instead of the high-cholesterol treat, I opted for the "Houston." Which is a pork sandwich-outer portions read the menu-smothered in brunswick stew. It came with two slices of sweet pickles.
Now yours truly is a big fan of brunswick stew. Sprayberry's isn't that good, unfortunately. It's like the kind you get out of a can. ( the sentence doesn't smack of Hemmingway ) I always liked "Old Hickory House" brunswick stew. The best I've ever had. Needless to say, there ain't no more O.H.H.'s around anymore, unless there's some up near hoots' area. I remember, too, buying a salad at O.H.H. once and had to opt for slaw, when the server brought it out and it was nothing but brown pieces of lettuce. Not just the tips and ends but all of it.
"Oh, no, you didn't," ( another popular phrase ) I should have told my server. Evidently, the old girl had never eaten a salad. And evidently, this may be why they are no longer in business.
Back to G.P. Where else can you find a blog that has a different main heading photograph every day? Where else can you find a blog that doesn't overuse the word "I." Oh, it drives me batty reading some of these other blogger forays. And where else can you get a dose of original writing, sports, and movie trivia?
If I could only get my readers in Pakistan, Nova Scotia, Iceland, Brasilia, Istanbul, and the Fiji Islands to write to the google gods or whoever's in charge of making the distinction, then perhaps my blog can become one of the elite.
Here's keeping my fingers crossed, v.c.
P.S. The ones that did make the list and their descriptions:
1) "Hootnanny Hoot:" Recaptures hoedowns of yesteryear.
2) "I Hear You Knocking, But You Can't Come In:" Creditors a problem? This blog chronicles ploys to thwart them.
3) "Dog Day Afternoon:" A scathing foray into the Atlanta Falcons season, 2007.
4) "Whole in the Roof:" Chronicles the drenched spectators at a Cowboys-Giants match. From the humidity, no less.
5) "BBQ for Us Two:" Grammar snafus taken from the different medias.
6) "Slippery:" Tales of a trombonist from a high school named "Rowdy High."
7) "Root 66:" Recipes from around the world.
8) "Hootsbuddy's Baste:" Recipes from an old hippie white guy, who is now misunderstood by his diverse charges."
9) "Who'd A'Thunk It?" Zany antics abound in ribald hilarity.
10) "Golden Ponder:" An alum from back in the daze sends plaudits to the proprietor. Who thanks him for the kind words.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
"9-11"
Of course, I remember where I was. I was heading to my old job at H.W. [ Hell-Whole for the uninformed ] listening to a cd. For whatever reason, I took out the cd and the radio came on as usual. Instead of putting in another cd, I could tell something was amiss. The events the media was describing were unbelievable. Ironically, my route to work was via I-285 and all this took place as I was passing the airport.
I'll never forget how afraid I was that night as I walked to my car, located in the dimly-lit parking lot. I knew the world had changed....forever.
Today, the media talked about how it has been 6 years since the tragedy. 6 years is a long time. I think back on the time frame. I have since had 2 more jobs; my kids are grown; and my own life is indelibly changing.
Semper fi, v.c.
I'll never forget how afraid I was that night as I walked to my car, located in the dimly-lit parking lot. I knew the world had changed....forever.
Today, the media talked about how it has been 6 years since the tragedy. 6 years is a long time. I think back on the time frame. I have since had 2 more jobs; my kids are grown; and my own life is indelibly changing.
Semper fi, v.c.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Just the Facts, M'am!"
The setting is at a well known cafeteria chain located somewhere in the naked city. There are millions of stories happening there; this is one of them.
"Killer, a guest just complained to me. Said her turnip greens were too salty."
"Boss, you know my greens are always right. I measured the combination seasoning [ salt and white peppa ] like I always do."
"Sorry, Killer. She's sworn out a complaint. Police are on the way. You may be looking at time."
"Boss, this is the stupidest thing I ever heard of. Is this a joke?"
"Sorry, Killer. I wish it were true, but this is a serious matter. The guest said we can't be oversalting the food. Billy, [ asst. mgr. ] get Loss Prevention on the line, pronto."
The police arrive. The participants huddle in the private dining room. They include Killer, accused of oversalting the greens; the G.M., the guest and two burly police officers. Both cops are drinking coffee, heavy on the caffeine.
"You say your greens were too salty, m'am?"
"Yes, officer. I ate the whole bowl and then retreated to the bathroom and threw up."
"Sure you didn't have anything else to eat today, m'am?"
"No, I didn't eat breakfast or lunch?"
"Is this the alleged perpetrator of the crime? Your name Killer?"
"Yessir."
"Why do they call you Killer, Killer? Have you been in the big house before? Don't lie to me-these kind of things are easily checked."
"It's just a name we use in the hood. Killer, playa, bling, it's all good."
"All right, Killer. Why did you over salt the greens?"
"I made 'em by the recipe, officer."
"Look, Killer. This is a serious offense. Just come clean and we'll go easy on you."
[ turns to partner in private ] "We may have to use the good cop, bad cop philosophy!"
[ winks ] "Right!"
"M'am, we want to know what you want to do. Press charges or what?"
"Well, I, uh...."
"Look, m'am, I don't want you to think I'm outta line here, but this guy, Killer, is a menace to society. If you don't press charges, I'm runnin' him in anyway."
"Yes, I want him to fry. And I want to sue him and this company!"
"Have you heard from Loss Prevention, Billy!"
"I haven't heard from them. Just voice mail, ya'know."
"Read 'em his rights! Mirandize this character. We don't want him going free on a technicality."
"Killer, you have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney...."
"Boss, call my wife and tell her what happened."
"You piece of scum. Oh, the humanity."
"Hello, I'd like to file a lawsuit and...."
"We just made America a safer place to live."
"I'm kinda disappoined we didn't get to use our good cop-bad cop ploy."
"Save it. I heard O.J.'s back in town."
"Right!"
"Billy, any word from Loss Prevention?"
"Killer, a guest just complained to me. Said her turnip greens were too salty."
"Boss, you know my greens are always right. I measured the combination seasoning [ salt and white peppa ] like I always do."
"Sorry, Killer. She's sworn out a complaint. Police are on the way. You may be looking at time."
"Boss, this is the stupidest thing I ever heard of. Is this a joke?"
"Sorry, Killer. I wish it were true, but this is a serious matter. The guest said we can't be oversalting the food. Billy, [ asst. mgr. ] get Loss Prevention on the line, pronto."
The police arrive. The participants huddle in the private dining room. They include Killer, accused of oversalting the greens; the G.M., the guest and two burly police officers. Both cops are drinking coffee, heavy on the caffeine.
"You say your greens were too salty, m'am?"
"Yes, officer. I ate the whole bowl and then retreated to the bathroom and threw up."
"Sure you didn't have anything else to eat today, m'am?"
"No, I didn't eat breakfast or lunch?"
"Is this the alleged perpetrator of the crime? Your name Killer?"
"Yessir."
"Why do they call you Killer, Killer? Have you been in the big house before? Don't lie to me-these kind of things are easily checked."
"It's just a name we use in the hood. Killer, playa, bling, it's all good."
"All right, Killer. Why did you over salt the greens?"
"I made 'em by the recipe, officer."
"Look, Killer. This is a serious offense. Just come clean and we'll go easy on you."
[ turns to partner in private ] "We may have to use the good cop, bad cop philosophy!"
[ winks ] "Right!"
"M'am, we want to know what you want to do. Press charges or what?"
"Well, I, uh...."
"Look, m'am, I don't want you to think I'm outta line here, but this guy, Killer, is a menace to society. If you don't press charges, I'm runnin' him in anyway."
"Yes, I want him to fry. And I want to sue him and this company!"
"Have you heard from Loss Prevention, Billy!"
"I haven't heard from them. Just voice mail, ya'know."
"Read 'em his rights! Mirandize this character. We don't want him going free on a technicality."
"Killer, you have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney...."
"Boss, call my wife and tell her what happened."
"You piece of scum. Oh, the humanity."
"Hello, I'd like to file a lawsuit and...."
"We just made America a safer place to live."
"I'm kinda disappoined we didn't get to use our good cop-bad cop ploy."
"Save it. I heard O.J.'s back in town."
"Right!"
"Billy, any word from Loss Prevention?"
"You're Under Arrest" or "Dragnet 2007"
A McDonald's employee spent a night in jail and is facing criminal charges because a police officer's burger was too salty, so salty that he says it made him sick.
Kendra Bull was arrested Friday, charged with misdemeanor reckless conduct and freed on $1,000 bail.
Bull, 20, said she accidentally spilled salt on hamburger meat and told her supervisor and a co-worker, who "tried to thump the salt off."
On her break, she ate a burger made with the salty meat. "It didn't make me sick," Bull told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
But then Police Officer Wendell Adams got a burger made with the oversalted meat, and he returned a short time later and told the manager it made him sick.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Luckily I was never arrested for serving salty food. There were times I could have spent a few nights in the hoosegow. Especially if Officer Adams had dined with me and my staff on a night where he perceived the food as being too salty.
The company I once toiled for seasoned its food to the "t." And if an overzealous cook failed to measure the ingredients precisely, a catastrophe was a'waiting to happen. I heard the numerous complaints and suggestions:
"You can add salt and peppa to your food, but you can't remove it."
"People are suffering from high blood pressure, diabetes, and other assorted maladies. Icksnay the salt"
"Your cook had a heavy hand tonite!"
Caveat emptor, eh? v.c.
P.S. I like Freddy K's comments: Especially: "What is next, ice cream to cold and made his head hurt?"
By Freddy K.
Sep 10, 2007 3:17 PM | Link to this
You mean to say that this young lady was arrested and put in jail for to much salt on a hamburger? That is the biggest crock of Horse sht and abuse of power by a police officer I have ever heard of. Is the office a real dumb arse. So stupid that he didn't not know he could take the burger back like the rest of us do.
Just seems like the law officer if they were indeed doing their job instead sf sponging a free burger was out doing their job. THey would have more important things to do that arrest a "burger salter" cause his dumb *** ate and it made him sick.
I reckon if his wife or girlfriend had made him a to salty burger he would have arrested them, if not drop the charges od "over burger salting" and move on.
DAMN! I heard it all now. What is next, ice cream to cold and made his head hurt?
Kendra Bull was arrested Friday, charged with misdemeanor reckless conduct and freed on $1,000 bail.
Bull, 20, said she accidentally spilled salt on hamburger meat and told her supervisor and a co-worker, who "tried to thump the salt off."
On her break, she ate a burger made with the salty meat. "It didn't make me sick," Bull told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
But then Police Officer Wendell Adams got a burger made with the oversalted meat, and he returned a short time later and told the manager it made him sick.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Luckily I was never arrested for serving salty food. There were times I could have spent a few nights in the hoosegow. Especially if Officer Adams had dined with me and my staff on a night where he perceived the food as being too salty.
The company I once toiled for seasoned its food to the "t." And if an overzealous cook failed to measure the ingredients precisely, a catastrophe was a'waiting to happen. I heard the numerous complaints and suggestions:
"You can add salt and peppa to your food, but you can't remove it."
"People are suffering from high blood pressure, diabetes, and other assorted maladies. Icksnay the salt"
"Your cook had a heavy hand tonite!"
Caveat emptor, eh? v.c.
P.S. I like Freddy K's comments: Especially: "What is next, ice cream to cold and made his head hurt?"
By Freddy K.
Sep 10, 2007 3:17 PM | Link to this
You mean to say that this young lady was arrested and put in jail for to much salt on a hamburger? That is the biggest crock of Horse sht and abuse of power by a police officer I have ever heard of. Is the office a real dumb arse. So stupid that he didn't not know he could take the burger back like the rest of us do.
Just seems like the law officer if they were indeed doing their job instead sf sponging a free burger was out doing their job. THey would have more important things to do that arrest a "burger salter" cause his dumb *** ate and it made him sick.
I reckon if his wife or girlfriend had made him a to salty burger he would have arrested them, if not drop the charges od "over burger salting" and move on.
DAMN! I heard it all now. What is next, ice cream to cold and made his head hurt?
Sunday, September 09, 2007
"Quiet on the Pond"
Well, it's been [ see title of tonite's foray ] lately. The proprietor hasn't had much to write about....until tonite.
Seems the Falcons, who were vickless, got their lunch handed to them. They did have a chance to make the score 7-3 right before halftime but their new field goal kicker hooked the ball to the right. He looked like he was about 15 years old. Our new q.b., Joey Harrington, was a bit miffed when he saw the ball go awry. He didn't hide his displeasure either.
The Dawgs got beat Saturday by their old nemesis, Steve Spurrier, who is now the head coach at the University of South Carolina. The Dawgs fans should have pulled out their old t shirts. The ones that read: "Will Rodgers never met a man he didn't like." [ front side ] "He never met Steve Spurrier." [ back of t shirt ]
Switching gears-enough football. I had the pleasure tonite of talking to pictruandtru from the Yahoo board. Had never talked to him; didn't have a clue as to who he was. But we chatted and I found out a good bit about the enigmatic ex- yahootster, er, yahooster.
We had a lot of fun writing on the Yahoo message board. Back in the early days of the millineum and a few years beyond. And always under the cloak of anonymity. Speaking of which: wonder whatever happened to clifhenry, bongobob, and ibbq4you2? And alybro and chuckwagon stew?
Pictru once wrote a delicious foray about how our old company once peeled apples for apple pies. Enhanced with the flavors of oleomargarine, sugar and cinnamon.
*side note: I had never heard of an oleomargarine, until I began work for the Golden Arches, er, Piccadilly.
If memory serves, his foray also mentioned the staff's crisp uniforms, and meringue that stood tall. The bored, of which yours truly was a member, ate it up with a spoon. It was a magnificent post that hearkened back to the days of yesteryear. When the company was solvent and bankruptcy was something other companies did.
The hootster always knew how to index old posts. Do you still have the above mentioned one?
Alas, my time has run out. Until the next foray, v.c.
P.S. Rock, I saw you in the grandstands, allah Seymour Butts. And whatever happened to Chester Drawers?
Seems the Falcons, who were vickless, got their lunch handed to them. They did have a chance to make the score 7-3 right before halftime but their new field goal kicker hooked the ball to the right. He looked like he was about 15 years old. Our new q.b., Joey Harrington, was a bit miffed when he saw the ball go awry. He didn't hide his displeasure either.
The Dawgs got beat Saturday by their old nemesis, Steve Spurrier, who is now the head coach at the University of South Carolina. The Dawgs fans should have pulled out their old t shirts. The ones that read: "Will Rodgers never met a man he didn't like." [ front side ] "He never met Steve Spurrier." [ back of t shirt ]
Switching gears-enough football. I had the pleasure tonite of talking to pictruandtru from the Yahoo board. Had never talked to him; didn't have a clue as to who he was. But we chatted and I found out a good bit about the enigmatic ex- yahootster, er, yahooster.
We had a lot of fun writing on the Yahoo message board. Back in the early days of the millineum and a few years beyond. And always under the cloak of anonymity. Speaking of which: wonder whatever happened to clifhenry, bongobob, and ibbq4you2? And alybro and chuckwagon stew?
Pictru once wrote a delicious foray about how our old company once peeled apples for apple pies. Enhanced with the flavors of oleomargarine, sugar and cinnamon.
*side note: I had never heard of an oleomargarine, until I began work for the Golden Arches, er, Piccadilly.
If memory serves, his foray also mentioned the staff's crisp uniforms, and meringue that stood tall. The bored, of which yours truly was a member, ate it up with a spoon. It was a magnificent post that hearkened back to the days of yesteryear. When the company was solvent and bankruptcy was something other companies did.
The hootster always knew how to index old posts. Do you still have the above mentioned one?
Alas, my time has run out. Until the next foray, v.c.
P.S. Rock, I saw you in the grandstands, allah Seymour Butts. And whatever happened to Chester Drawers?
Thursday, September 06, 2007
"A Tip of the Cap"`
To the bbq man for providing the "Homeland Security" photo. As the popular phrase goes: "it is what it is."
Switching gears-haven't done that since we got rid of the VW many moons ago-tonite kicks off the NFL season. With da Colts vs. Da Saints. Manning vs. Brees. Indy, the heartland, vs. N'awlins, the home of recent devestation.
It's time for me to make my picks, via HBO.com. So I'll see you later.
Gotta go with Indy in this one. The point spread is now 5.5.
Handicapper, v.c.
P.S. I remember going to Panama City in the bug. Exhausted after a 300 mile foray from G.P. to the land of white-sand beaches.
Switching gears-haven't done that since we got rid of the VW many moons ago-tonite kicks off the NFL season. With da Colts vs. Da Saints. Manning vs. Brees. Indy, the heartland, vs. N'awlins, the home of recent devestation.
It's time for me to make my picks, via HBO.com. So I'll see you later.
Gotta go with Indy in this one. The point spread is now 5.5.
Handicapper, v.c.
P.S. I remember going to Panama City in the bug. Exhausted after a 300 mile foray from G.P. to the land of white-sand beaches.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
"Back Door"
I wanted to make a comment to you, hoots and rock, and this is the easiest way. I just bought a spyware and anti-virus cd for 50 bucks, and it hasn't solved my computer affliction. So I'm going through the back door. 50 bucks down the drain, eh? And when you're unemployed a fitty is like a thousand.
Boys/Giants? At first glance I'm thinking Rangers and Barry Bonds. How dumb of me? Post Parcells, and who can forget Tony Romo fumbling the snap in last year's playoff game? Decidedly, Bill had had enough. Big Tuna that he is....was. Maybe another gig with Nutri-Systems will help allah Don Shula.
Shula and Landry were ignominiously dumped after fruitful careers. Reminds me of Bobby Cox who keeps making some questionable decisions. i.e. playing Willie Harris [ 0-25 ] instead of Matt Diaz. He's too into the %'s. For once I'd like to see him stray from them and go with his gut. And howze old Saltalamachia doing these days?
The above names are foreign to the hootster. Surprised he even knows Michael Vick. Here in Hotlanta you'd have to be a monk not to know the vickster. Maybe he'll return one day-after prison-and play for da Browns and the denizens there known as the-dare I write it-the dog pound. Woof woof. Oh, yeah, the Dawgs beat up on Oklahoma State Saturday, and the Jackets handed Charlie Weiss ( ex genius ) his head.
Mention Kurds and Whey and the hootster springs into action. The popular phrase comes to mind: "it is what it is!"
Mebbe old Wade Phillips will have the Boys ready Sunday. We'll be dickless, er, Vickless when we head to the Minnesota Metrodome. No frozen tundra, allah Green Bay, because it's played indoors now. I'll always remember that awful place with the huge teflon garbage bags in the outfield.
Lonnie Smith got deked out in game 7 of the World Series circa 1991 or was it '92 and DIDN'T score from first base on a ball hit over Kirby Puckett's head. In the 9th inning. Deked by the second basemen. Or was it the shortstop?
I'll look for you in the crowd, Rock, but it's unlikely the hootster will be viewing.
Falcons 27 Minnesota 24. Cowboys 65 Giants 0.
My predictions, v.c.
P.S. And how 'bout them cheap shots from Rowdy Rondee Barber. Seems he doesn't care for Tom Coughlin. Dissension anyone?
Boys/Giants? At first glance I'm thinking Rangers and Barry Bonds. How dumb of me? Post Parcells, and who can forget Tony Romo fumbling the snap in last year's playoff game? Decidedly, Bill had had enough. Big Tuna that he is....was. Maybe another gig with Nutri-Systems will help allah Don Shula.
Shula and Landry were ignominiously dumped after fruitful careers. Reminds me of Bobby Cox who keeps making some questionable decisions. i.e. playing Willie Harris [ 0-25 ] instead of Matt Diaz. He's too into the %'s. For once I'd like to see him stray from them and go with his gut. And howze old Saltalamachia doing these days?
The above names are foreign to the hootster. Surprised he even knows Michael Vick. Here in Hotlanta you'd have to be a monk not to know the vickster. Maybe he'll return one day-after prison-and play for da Browns and the denizens there known as the-dare I write it-the dog pound. Woof woof. Oh, yeah, the Dawgs beat up on Oklahoma State Saturday, and the Jackets handed Charlie Weiss ( ex genius ) his head.
Mention Kurds and Whey and the hootster springs into action. The popular phrase comes to mind: "it is what it is!"
Mebbe old Wade Phillips will have the Boys ready Sunday. We'll be dickless, er, Vickless when we head to the Minnesota Metrodome. No frozen tundra, allah Green Bay, because it's played indoors now. I'll always remember that awful place with the huge teflon garbage bags in the outfield.
Lonnie Smith got deked out in game 7 of the World Series circa 1991 or was it '92 and DIDN'T score from first base on a ball hit over Kirby Puckett's head. In the 9th inning. Deked by the second basemen. Or was it the shortstop?
I'll look for you in the crowd, Rock, but it's unlikely the hootster will be viewing.
Falcons 27 Minnesota 24. Cowboys 65 Giants 0.
My predictions, v.c.
P.S. And how 'bout them cheap shots from Rowdy Rondee Barber. Seems he doesn't care for Tom Coughlin. Dissension anyone?
Sunday, September 02, 2007
"Margaret Mitchell Anyone?"
The proprietor of the Pond is currently reading GWTW, as chronicled in earlier forays into the infantile. Great reading, imho. And what a story!
Anyone who wants to get a feel for Southern Culture or to understand Southern Culture, this is the book to read. I wish I had read it years ago like during my teen years or young adulthood. It is incredble at this stage in my life to understand finally the culture from whence I came.
It should be required reading in schools. But because of the way the black slave is treated and the language used concerning them and the stereotypes, it ain't gonna happen.
What I have learned!
1) Women were thought to be inferior, especially when it came to business. And mathematics and fractions.
2) Women were thought to be scared and timid creatures.
3) A good southerner had to be careful about "what the neighbors might think!"
4) A man living off a woman was unpardonable.
5) Blacks like to bring bad news. I sensed this all the years I worked in the food biz with African-Americans.
There are more, but I'm writing this off the cuff. With no notes. I'm at the stage of the novel where Scarlett has married Mr. Kennedy, so she can save Tara. And Rhett has just told her he has half a million dollars stashed away in-where else-but Liverpool, England. But it's a bit too late for the duo to marry. Tara needed saving, and Rhett was in jail awaiting to be hanged for killing an uppity negro. ( Exhibit A for no required reading in government schools. If I were black, it would be hard for me to read it.
I really have learned more about my southern heritage. I see where it all originated. It has been enlightening, to say the least.
I'm ready for tonight's installment, so the proprietor of the Pond sends a hearty, southern farewell and adieu, v.c.
P.S. The edition I am reading is from the 70's. Over 20 million people had read it by then. And no telling how many have seen the movie. Certainly the most watched film of all time. I once saw a documentary on the making of the film. How David O. Selznick fired the gay director, Victor Fleming, and replaced him with a man's man, George Cukor, with whom Clark Gable identified. Vivien Leigh enjoyed Fleming and wanted him to stay.
However, Cukor has a nervous breakdown while filming, because of the many days and nights of filming and rewrites. Even Selznick takes a turn to keep the film on course. Cukor did return to finish the film. Ironically, Fleming is credited with the direction.
Even with all the chaos the film is undoubtedly one of the finest movies ever made. Once I'm finished with the book, I definitely want to see the movie. Again.
P.S.S. Fiddle dee dee
Anyone who wants to get a feel for Southern Culture or to understand Southern Culture, this is the book to read. I wish I had read it years ago like during my teen years or young adulthood. It is incredble at this stage in my life to understand finally the culture from whence I came.
It should be required reading in schools. But because of the way the black slave is treated and the language used concerning them and the stereotypes, it ain't gonna happen.
What I have learned!
1) Women were thought to be inferior, especially when it came to business. And mathematics and fractions.
2) Women were thought to be scared and timid creatures.
3) A good southerner had to be careful about "what the neighbors might think!"
4) A man living off a woman was unpardonable.
5) Blacks like to bring bad news. I sensed this all the years I worked in the food biz with African-Americans.
There are more, but I'm writing this off the cuff. With no notes. I'm at the stage of the novel where Scarlett has married Mr. Kennedy, so she can save Tara. And Rhett has just told her he has half a million dollars stashed away in-where else-but Liverpool, England. But it's a bit too late for the duo to marry. Tara needed saving, and Rhett was in jail awaiting to be hanged for killing an uppity negro. ( Exhibit A for no required reading in government schools. If I were black, it would be hard for me to read it.
I really have learned more about my southern heritage. I see where it all originated. It has been enlightening, to say the least.
I'm ready for tonight's installment, so the proprietor of the Pond sends a hearty, southern farewell and adieu, v.c.
P.S. The edition I am reading is from the 70's. Over 20 million people had read it by then. And no telling how many have seen the movie. Certainly the most watched film of all time. I once saw a documentary on the making of the film. How David O. Selznick fired the gay director, Victor Fleming, and replaced him with a man's man, George Cukor, with whom Clark Gable identified. Vivien Leigh enjoyed Fleming and wanted him to stay.
However, Cukor has a nervous breakdown while filming, because of the many days and nights of filming and rewrites. Even Selznick takes a turn to keep the film on course. Cukor did return to finish the film. Ironically, Fleming is credited with the direction.
Even with all the chaos the film is undoubtedly one of the finest movies ever made. Once I'm finished with the book, I definitely want to see the movie. Again.
P.S.S. Fiddle dee dee
Saturday, September 01, 2007
" Wedding"
The above pictures are lovely....and cute. And who doesn't enjoy a wedding. Especially when you have a blushing bride and a beaming groom.
A tip of the cap to Slippery. Who's been aol, er, awol lately.
Friday, August 31, 2007
"1626"
Tonite's installment of G.P. is post number 1626. As one sage philosopher once remarked: "Who'd a thunk it?" Shirley, not I, yours truly.
A lot has been happening in the news this week. Owen Wilson tried to kill himself. Senator Craig tried to play footsies with a federal marshall; and Hulk Hogan's son survived a car crash.
And college football kicked off tonight and, as usual, LSU trounced Mississippi State. Rutgers won big, too.
Per usual-speaking of which-my hit counter has returned to normal. 7 viewers today and only ten yesterday. Boo hoo. I guess those folks in Korea, Japan, Nagasaki, Berlin, and India who were viewing G.P. decided to switch to hootsbuddy's place instead.
Great news! Post #1626 has been cleared by the publisher to be, well, published.
Time flies when yer having fun, v.c.
P.S. There are no postscripts on tonite's horizon. Sorry.
A lot has been happening in the news this week. Owen Wilson tried to kill himself. Senator Craig tried to play footsies with a federal marshall; and Hulk Hogan's son survived a car crash.
And college football kicked off tonight and, as usual, LSU trounced Mississippi State. Rutgers won big, too.
Per usual-speaking of which-my hit counter has returned to normal. 7 viewers today and only ten yesterday. Boo hoo. I guess those folks in Korea, Japan, Nagasaki, Berlin, and India who were viewing G.P. decided to switch to hootsbuddy's place instead.
Great news! Post #1626 has been cleared by the publisher to be, well, published.
Time flies when yer having fun, v.c.
P.S. There are no postscripts on tonite's horizon. Sorry.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
"Duh"
I wanted to see what the controversy was about with Miss Teen South Carolina. Seems she gave a dumb answer to a somewhat literate question. So I watched the fiasco via youtube. There was a response to it, and it's pretty funny. Submitted here for your perusal and approval:
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
"Jesse, Scarlett and v.c., yours truly"
Thanks to all of those who have inquired and inspired concerning my job search. "Inquired and inspired" sounds like something Jesse Jackson might say.
Rock, at this time I will remain mum on my prospective job alerts. Until I hear from this one company-hopefully tomorrow. They called me today, but I was at my new job tolling away. And because I know that companies frown on cell phone usage, I left it in the car. [ old Betsy ]
I have been reading GWTW this week. A great book, imho. And for me who was never much of a reader, the old phrase "Who'd a thunk it?" comes to mind. As most of the viewing readership is aware, the story is told through the eyes of Scarlett O'Hara and how she goes from being waited on hand and foot all her life to the leader of Tara, soon after General Sherman burns Atlanta on his march to the sea.
Scarlett deals with hunger, disease and attitudes.
"I can't pick cotton. What will my beau, Mr. Kennedy think?"
And l'il Wade says: "I don't like yams. Wade hungwy."
Anyway, my ideal job would be to land one as a reporter. Tackling the big news stories. Or writing a column in a fishwrapper about movies and trivia from back in the daze.
As Jesse Jackson might say:
Farewell and skidoo, v.c.
P.S. Perhaps I'll think about it tomorrow. Because tomorrow's.....another day.
Rock, at this time I will remain mum on my prospective job alerts. Until I hear from this one company-hopefully tomorrow. They called me today, but I was at my new job tolling away. And because I know that companies frown on cell phone usage, I left it in the car. [ old Betsy ]
I have been reading GWTW this week. A great book, imho. And for me who was never much of a reader, the old phrase "Who'd a thunk it?" comes to mind. As most of the viewing readership is aware, the story is told through the eyes of Scarlett O'Hara and how she goes from being waited on hand and foot all her life to the leader of Tara, soon after General Sherman burns Atlanta on his march to the sea.
Scarlett deals with hunger, disease and attitudes.
"I can't pick cotton. What will my beau, Mr. Kennedy think?"
And l'il Wade says: "I don't like yams. Wade hungwy."
Anyway, my ideal job would be to land one as a reporter. Tackling the big news stories. Or writing a column in a fishwrapper about movies and trivia from back in the daze.
As Jesse Jackson might say:
Farewell and skidoo, v.c.
P.S. Perhaps I'll think about it tomorrow. Because tomorrow's.....another day.
Monday, August 27, 2007
"I Beat It, Too!"
Seems me and the glandularly-challenged ox, er, big guy in the picture above aren't the only pleasingly plump denizens of these United States.
I went to the doctor today, and after a few blood tests, it was determined that yours truly's cholesterol level is off the charts. And the good cholesterol is too low. The doc suggested I go on the "South Beach Diet."
Hell, why not? I'm tired of lugging around the extra pounds. In the food biz, we are used to toting [ carrying ] 50 lb sacks of flour and sugar. 50 lb. cubes of shortening. A bag in the box [ coke products ] weighs around 40 or more pounds. And when we deliver the product to its respective destination, we invariably breathe a sigh of relief. So if you're 50 lbs. overweight, it's like carrying an extra bag of sugar/flour around with you 24/7.
Thanks to Marty who sent the picture to me of the man with the extra girth.
Fatty fatty two by four can't get in the kitchen door, v.c.
I went to the doctor today, and after a few blood tests, it was determined that yours truly's cholesterol level is off the charts. And the good cholesterol is too low. The doc suggested I go on the "South Beach Diet."
Hell, why not? I'm tired of lugging around the extra pounds. In the food biz, we are used to toting [ carrying ] 50 lb sacks of flour and sugar. 50 lb. cubes of shortening. A bag in the box [ coke products ] weighs around 40 or more pounds. And when we deliver the product to its respective destination, we invariably breathe a sigh of relief. So if you're 50 lbs. overweight, it's like carrying an extra bag of sugar/flour around with you 24/7.
Thanks to Marty who sent the picture to me of the man with the extra girth.
Fatty fatty two by four can't get in the kitchen door, v.c.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
"Congratulations to Warner Robbins-Little League World Series Champs"
For whatever reasons I enjoyed watching these young kids playing for the championship of the WORLD. These 11-12-13 year olds had their "time in the sun." Before a national media including television which carried all of the games.
The bases are 60 feet apart, as opposed to 90 feet in the pros. And the dimensions of the field are 225 feet from left to right.
One kid's father quit his job, because the company or manager didn't feel [ they ] could let him attend the games. So he told 'em where to shove it. Good for him.
One kid for Texas broke his ankle while covering home plate on Saturday. On Sunday he returned on crutches with a nice, shiny blue cast.
All of the kids get to play during the game. When I was a kid playing sports, the coaches played only the best players. They could care less if this practice hurt one's self-esteem. They had the Vince Lombardi mantra going: "Winning isn't everything; it's the only thing.
The photos came from macon.com. And the photographer's name is Jason Vorhees. Anyone familiar with the "Friday the 13th" series knows the demented, hocky mask wearer and resident psychopath's name was Jason Voorhees. Life's little ironies, eh?"
Friday, August 24, 2007
"Scintillating Blog?" or "Hillary Nutcracker?"
I added a counter the other day-stole, er, borrowed hoots' counter. I could never get the others to work, ever since the Pond switched over to the new beta google, whatever the fork that is.
Btw, my blog is now kinda like the old "America" song "Horse With No Name," because of my new design. When the introduction to G.P. is superimposed with the picture it's hard to make it out. So I don't even bother posting it anymore. Thus, my blog is now "the blog with no name" allah America. If this is a pun, I'm not really sure.
Seems Senator Byrd wants us to leave Iraq, and he's a Republican, so it's making big news.
I have been reading "Gone With the Wind" this week. I just read the chapter where Scarlett goes to fetch Dr. Meade, because Melanie is having her baby, and it's going to be a difficult birth. While reading I could only try to grasp the horrors of war.
Lying in the pitiless sun, shoulder to shoulder, head to feet, were hundreds of wounded men....Some lay stiff and still but many writhed under the hot sun, moaning. Everywhere, swarms of flies hovered over the men, crawling and buzzing in their faces, everywhere was blood, dirty bandages, groans, screamed curses of pain as stretcher bearers lifted men. The smell of sweat, of blood, of unwashed bodies, of excrement rose up in waves of blistering heat until the fetid stench almost nauseated her. [ Scarlett ]
I remember the movie, of course, and have seen it many times. I remember the opening scenes at Tara with the Tarleton twins and Scarlett And how the Southerners were boasting of whupping the Yankees, and how it would only take a month to dispatch the enemy.
Rhett Butler had a different view saying the South had no cannon factories or manufacturing. Might not be a good idea to engage in war. Needless to say, his oratory went over like a lead balloon.
Not sure what the right course of action is. But it seems our days in Iraq are numbered.
"GWTW" is well written and offers an insight into a time that is now, well, gone with the wind. I seem to be travelling those same thoroughfares.
To wrap [ things ] up, my hit counter stats have improved lately. So that's encouraging, and my job interview went well today, so without further [ farewell and ] adieu, I bid you, well, adieu, v.c.
P.S. I never really liked horse with no name. One reason: they kept playing it over and over on the air waves.
Btw, my blog is now kinda like the old "America" song "Horse With No Name," because of my new design. When the introduction to G.P. is superimposed with the picture it's hard to make it out. So I don't even bother posting it anymore. Thus, my blog is now "the blog with no name" allah America. If this is a pun, I'm not really sure.
Seems Senator Byrd wants us to leave Iraq, and he's a Republican, so it's making big news.
I have been reading "Gone With the Wind" this week. I just read the chapter where Scarlett goes to fetch Dr. Meade, because Melanie is having her baby, and it's going to be a difficult birth. While reading I could only try to grasp the horrors of war.
Lying in the pitiless sun, shoulder to shoulder, head to feet, were hundreds of wounded men....Some lay stiff and still but many writhed under the hot sun, moaning. Everywhere, swarms of flies hovered over the men, crawling and buzzing in their faces, everywhere was blood, dirty bandages, groans, screamed curses of pain as stretcher bearers lifted men. The smell of sweat, of blood, of unwashed bodies, of excrement rose up in waves of blistering heat until the fetid stench almost nauseated her. [ Scarlett ]
I remember the movie, of course, and have seen it many times. I remember the opening scenes at Tara with the Tarleton twins and Scarlett And how the Southerners were boasting of whupping the Yankees, and how it would only take a month to dispatch the enemy.
Rhett Butler had a different view saying the South had no cannon factories or manufacturing. Might not be a good idea to engage in war. Needless to say, his oratory went over like a lead balloon.
Not sure what the right course of action is. But it seems our days in Iraq are numbered.
"GWTW" is well written and offers an insight into a time that is now, well, gone with the wind. I seem to be travelling those same thoroughfares.
To wrap [ things ] up, my hit counter stats have improved lately. So that's encouraging, and my job interview went well today, so without further [ farewell and ] adieu, I bid you, well, adieu, v.c.
P.S. I never really liked horse with no name. One reason: they kept playing it over and over on the air waves.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
"Who(m) Am I?" or "To Each His Own"
I hated removing the caricature [ gesundheit ] of Cary Grant with his hands in his pocket and with an airplane hovering somewhat menacingly in the background. Anyone who's seen the classic thriller from 1959 will instantly recognize the scenario. If not, then you shouldn't be reading Golden Pond. My friend, Marty, can be excused because he told me from jump street that he doesn't watch tv or movies. Kinda weird compulsion but I have accepted his indiscretions.
Kinda like Hoots who doesn't give a, well, hoot about sports. Kinda weird, too, but who am I to judge. Eh?
It's kinda weird of me to point out that in the above paragraph, "who am I to judge" is proper grammar. Not as some would declare that it should read "whom am I."
I went to Truck U., a story which is well chronicled by yours truly in many a prior foray, and I had many grammar courses, enunciation classes, etc. Most of the time it's a curse to listen to people butcher the English language.
Examples:
I am gonna lay down.
Should be lie down.
I like this sal-mon.
Should be samon.
I seen him, yeah.
Should be I saw him, yeah.
He should have went to Al-Anon.
Should be gone to Al-Anon. ( You hear this misuse of this verb a lot!!!!!!!!!!! )
There are more examples, of course. But these are just a few of them. I'm not pronouncing my superiority and really I don't give a shit, but it's just that I was schooled to know the difference.
And I remember conjugating verbs. It gets tricky with "lie." Unless they've changed it in the last 40 years, it should be lie, lay, lain.
Now how many people in this world have used the word "lain," when referring to lying down.
"Where's v.c.?" Bill uttered.
"I have lain down, Bill, thank you very much," v.c. retorted.
My point is: if you are somewhat intelligent, you shouldn't say: "I should have went...."
I was talking to my sister the other night on the telephone, and I couldn't help but notice her use of "double negatives."
Like I mentioned earlier, I could care less. I did tell her. Only because she hangs out with people who would consider this affront to grammar as a serious flaw on her behalf.
Example:
I couldn't hardly wait to get there!
In my line of work [ food business ] nobody gives a darn if you speak correctly or not. Because all you hear is:
"How long on the guests' order?"
"You ain't coming in cos your second cousin's in jail?"
"It's so darn hot in here."
"It's so darn cold in here."
"I can't hardly take this job. [ and shove it ]
Not sure, exactly, how I got into this foray. But it's been an interesting exercise.
In summary, to each his own. Marty=no tv and movies; hoots=Iran and no sports; and yers truly=noticing perpetrators of double negatives and watching movies and tv.
Grammar 101, v.c.
P.S. I was somewhat offered a job today and have an interview in the a.m. Things are looking up?
P.S.S. Thanks to Marty for supplying tonite's nutcracker sweet, er, suite.
Kinda like Hoots who doesn't give a, well, hoot about sports. Kinda weird, too, but who am I to judge. Eh?
It's kinda weird of me to point out that in the above paragraph, "who am I to judge" is proper grammar. Not as some would declare that it should read "whom am I."
I went to Truck U., a story which is well chronicled by yours truly in many a prior foray, and I had many grammar courses, enunciation classes, etc. Most of the time it's a curse to listen to people butcher the English language.
Examples:
I am gonna lay down.
Should be lie down.
I like this sal-mon.
Should be samon.
I seen him, yeah.
Should be I saw him, yeah.
He should have went to Al-Anon.
Should be gone to Al-Anon. ( You hear this misuse of this verb a lot!!!!!!!!!!! )
There are more examples, of course. But these are just a few of them. I'm not pronouncing my superiority and really I don't give a shit, but it's just that I was schooled to know the difference.
And I remember conjugating verbs. It gets tricky with "lie." Unless they've changed it in the last 40 years, it should be lie, lay, lain.
Now how many people in this world have used the word "lain," when referring to lying down.
"Where's v.c.?" Bill uttered.
"I have lain down, Bill, thank you very much," v.c. retorted.
My point is: if you are somewhat intelligent, you shouldn't say: "I should have went...."
I was talking to my sister the other night on the telephone, and I couldn't help but notice her use of "double negatives."
Like I mentioned earlier, I could care less. I did tell her. Only because she hangs out with people who would consider this affront to grammar as a serious flaw on her behalf.
Example:
I couldn't hardly wait to get there!
In my line of work [ food business ] nobody gives a darn if you speak correctly or not. Because all you hear is:
"How long on the guests' order?"
"You ain't coming in cos your second cousin's in jail?"
"It's so darn hot in here."
"It's so darn cold in here."
"I can't hardly take this job. [ and shove it ]
Not sure, exactly, how I got into this foray. But it's been an interesting exercise.
In summary, to each his own. Marty=no tv and movies; hoots=Iran and no sports; and yers truly=noticing perpetrators of double negatives and watching movies and tv.
Grammar 101, v.c.
P.S. I was somewhat offered a job today and have an interview in the a.m. Things are looking up?
P.S.S. Thanks to Marty for supplying tonite's nutcracker sweet, er, suite.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
"Not As Good As I Once Was?"
During my times on the road during my C.B. magical mystery tour, I happened to listen to the radio a few times. Most of the fare in Tennessee was either religious or country western programming.
As a result, I heard a few tunes that I liked. The following video is a song that I heard. It's a cute story, too.
I especially liked the part where the young cowgirl is alluding to making "whoopie," and our hero, Toby Keith, frantically opens his pill box and extracts a half of a blue tab, gulping and washing it down with his brewskie.
Here's the video, v.c., your irreverent host!
As a result, I heard a few tunes that I liked. The following video is a song that I heard. It's a cute story, too.
I especially liked the part where the young cowgirl is alluding to making "whoopie," and our hero, Toby Keith, frantically opens his pill box and extracts a half of a blue tab, gulping and washing it down with his brewskie.
Here's the video, v.c., your irreverent host!
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
"Numero Uno"
Braves Manager Bobby Cox just set a record for managers. What is his record? He has been ejected from more ball games than any other manager in the history of Major League Baseball. He recently passed the immortal John McGraw.
Baseball records have been shattered lately. Some which were thought to be unbreakable.
Cal Ripken's streak of consecutive games played; Hank Aaron's home run record; Roger Maris' 61 homers in a single season; and now Bobby Cox.
Bobby is a great manager. One of the best ever. Probably the greatest during the season, but fate has not been kind to him in the post season. Only one championship [ 1995 ] to show for all of the excellence of his teams.
The fans here in Atlanta got jaded during the streak of division championships from 1991 to 2005. And Bobby received a ton of criticism for some of the moves he made from us fans.
He is always described as a player's coach, and he always goes to bat for them when they get into a fracas with the umps.
"Bobby had kind of been biting his tongue lately," [ Chipper ] Jones said. "He was embarrassed by the record. But it was inevitable. He's too passionate about the game."
Congrats to Bobby Cox, v.c.
P.S. I once saw him at H.W. where I used to work. This was in 1981, and he was there at the mall attempting to kindle some interest in the Braves. Alas, he was fired at the end of the season, replaced by Joe Torre. He went to Toronto and got the team to the post season, where they lost a 3-1 series lead. Not sure what year.
Monday, August 20, 2007
"Taking the Night Off"
I am taking the night off. Don't have much to say.
I did start writing something. As it stands it is unprintable for blogger.com. But with a tweak here and there, perhaps later. Maybe an abridged version.
Help wanted? v.c.
I did start writing something. As it stands it is unprintable for blogger.com. But with a tweak here and there, perhaps later. Maybe an abridged version.
Help wanted? v.c.
"20 Million Miles To Earth"
The above picture is from the movie in the title. I like switching the picture from day to day. Kinda lends the blog to diversity, eh?
I hated removing the picture of Jimmy Stewart from the top of G.P. Because it sums up my situation with a quickness. An allegory, if you will.
Poor old Jimmy is hanging from the rooftops of San Fran. A police friend has already died attempting to rescue Mr. Stewart. Hence, Jimmy develops vertigo. Hence, the name of the "Hitchcockian" thriller.
Not much to say about 20 million miles other than I DID see it as a kid at the "Paramount Theatre." It DID star William Hopper as the leading man. William WAS the son of Hedda Hopper and WAS PAul Drake in "Perry Mason." And Ray Harryhausen DEVISED the special effects.
I LOVE these old b/w sci-fi movies from the 50's. There's just something unique about them.
20 million miles to getting a job? v.c.
P.S. Hoots, so what if yer the party pooper. Apologies to Arnold. Wasn't the line from "Kindergarten Cop?" Which is actually a pretty entertaining movie at that.
I hated removing the picture of Jimmy Stewart from the top of G.P. Because it sums up my situation with a quickness. An allegory, if you will.
Poor old Jimmy is hanging from the rooftops of San Fran. A police friend has already died attempting to rescue Mr. Stewart. Hence, Jimmy develops vertigo. Hence, the name of the "Hitchcockian" thriller.
Not much to say about 20 million miles other than I DID see it as a kid at the "Paramount Theatre." It DID star William Hopper as the leading man. William WAS the son of Hedda Hopper and WAS PAul Drake in "Perry Mason." And Ray Harryhausen DEVISED the special effects.
I LOVE these old b/w sci-fi movies from the 50's. There's just something unique about them.
20 million miles to getting a job? v.c.
P.S. Hoots, so what if yer the party pooper. Apologies to Arnold. Wasn't the line from "Kindergarten Cop?" Which is actually a pretty entertaining movie at that.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
"Great Movie"
There is a columnist who writes for the Atlanta Journal. A movie critic if you will. He goes by the name of Alan Smithee, a fictitious name. If my computer wasn't acting up, I would leave the details to what an "Alan Smithee" is. So if you're curious, just google the name.
Anyhoo, I read his column whenever I see it. The last one mentioned "Jason and the Argonauts" would be playing at a kid's matinee on August 25th at "The Plaza Theatre" here in Hotlanta. ( And, believe me, it's been hot ) 1:00 p.m. to be exact. I plan on attending just to be able to see this epic on the big screen.
Years ago before dvd's and vcr's, old movie classics would return to the theatres every few years or so. Not any more. Dinosaurs, drive-ins, leisure suits, etc. all come to mind as members of a dying breed.
I kicked myself in the arse for not seeing "Casino Royale" on the big screen. I watched it, instead, on a tv set in my motel room and fell asleep before it was over. And I was digging the new "Bond." Fork.
As I was saying. I will be attending the movie, unless the creek rises and the sun don't shine. Anybody reading this is invited to go with me. Hoots? Slippery? Steverino?
RSVP, v.c.
P.S. Alan Smithee of the AJC uses the same format as yours truly. He ends each question from readers with a p.s. I swear I did not copy this from him. Perhaps he copied from me. That would be a long shot but....
Friday, August 17, 2007
"Hard To Hire"
Well, I feel a lot better now. Seems I'm not the only one who can't seem to find any work these days. Action hero, Steven Seagal, is in the same boat. He blames the FBI; I'm not sure who I'm blaming other than myself.
You'd probably be pretty upset too if you'd gone from Hard to Kill to hard to hire.
Steven Seagal, the ponytail-sporting, martial arts-practicing, early '90s-era action hero, thinks that there's a simple explanation as to why the phone hasn't been ringing as much over the past five years, and, just like one of his big-screen characters, he wants someone to pay.
Or say sorry, at least.
Too bad I don't know how to break arms, v.c.
P.S. I may never be able to change Ann Margaret and Elvis' picture from G.P. Seems the computer is on the fritz....again.
You'd probably be pretty upset too if you'd gone from Hard to Kill to hard to hire.
Steven Seagal, the ponytail-sporting, martial arts-practicing, early '90s-era action hero, thinks that there's a simple explanation as to why the phone hasn't been ringing as much over the past five years, and, just like one of his big-screen characters, he wants someone to pay.
Or say sorry, at least.
Too bad I don't know how to break arms, v.c.
P.S. I may never be able to change Ann Margaret and Elvis' picture from G.P. Seems the computer is on the fritz....again.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
"Barefoot Ballad"
One of my all time favorite Elvis movies. It co-stars the delightful Yvonne Craig, who I thought was simply beautiful.
I wasn't aware when I first did this, but today marks the 30th anniversary of Elvis' death. And who can forget the Jordanaires. One of its members was a dj on WPLO-AM, in Atlanta, back in the early days of the 60's. Seems he refused to play the "British Invasion" music; or limited its play; or showed his disdain every time he played anything from across the sea.
His name is Hugh Jarrett. He of the bass voice. He resides today in Woodstock, Ga. not New York. And is 77 years old.
Also, in today's ajc they list some of the fav foods that Elvis enjoyed. Including recipes. There's a link for the pound cake, as well.
"Kissin' Cousins" is playing today on TCM along with other Elvis classics.
Here's the trailer:
I wasn't aware when I first did this, but today marks the 30th anniversary of Elvis' death. And who can forget the Jordanaires. One of its members was a dj on WPLO-AM, in Atlanta, back in the early days of the 60's. Seems he refused to play the "British Invasion" music; or limited its play; or showed his disdain every time he played anything from across the sea.
His name is Hugh Jarrett. He of the bass voice. He resides today in Woodstock, Ga. not New York. And is 77 years old.
Also, in today's ajc they list some of the fav foods that Elvis enjoyed. Including recipes. There's a link for the pound cake, as well.
"Kissin' Cousins" is playing today on TCM along with other Elvis classics.
Here's the trailer:
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
"Trivia Challenge-vc Style"
I used to have fun with trivia challenges back in my daze on Yahoo. So [ Tammy ] Whynot do it again. Let's get started:
1) Who said: "As God is my witness, as God is my witness they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry again."
a) Lindsey Lohan
b) Mama Cass Eliot after going through 'fat' rehab.
c) Kirstie Alley after signing up with Jenny Craig.
d) v.c., yers truly, after being terminated from another job.
2) Who said: "I'll be back!"
a) Lindsey Lohan after another stint on rehab.
b) Rosie O'Donnell after losing her job on "The View" and losing out as host for ":The Price Is Right."
c) Michael Vick
d) v.c., yers truly, after being fired from another job.
3) Holly Golightly was referring to "whom" in this famous movie quote: "He's alright! Aren't you, cat? Poor cat! Poor slob! Poor slob without a name! The way I see it I haven't got the right to give him one. We don't belong to each other. We just took up one day by the river. I don't want to own anything until I find a place where me and things go together. I'm not sure where that is but I know what it is like. It's like Tiffany's."
a) Lindsey Lohan
b) Michael Vick ( substitute Aren't you, dog? Poor dog! for Michael ]
c) Cat Stevens and/or Yusuf Islam
d) v.c., yers truly, after Holly learns he has been termed again.
4) In "Magnum Force" Dirty Harry tells Lt. Briggs, "A man's got to know his limitations. To whom was he referring?
a) Karl Rove after he was unceremoniously dumped today by George W.
b) Sylvester Stallone, who at 62 years old, encored another version of Rocky Balboa in 2007.
c) Starsky or Hutch or Huggy Bear!
d) v.c., yers truly, who was part of the vigilante force targeting asshole bosses in the workplace.
5) "You see Danny, I can deal with the bullets, and the bombs, and the blood. I don't want money, and I don't want medals. What I do want is for you to stand there in that faggoty white uniform and with your Harvard mouth extend me some fucking courtesy. You gotta ask me nicely." Who is Danny?
a) A trial lawyer who never goes to court. A master of the plea bargain.
b) An ex postal worker who has gone well, uh, postal.
c) The newest member of "The Village People."
d) v.c., yers truly, who can't find a job, so he enrolls in the witness protection program, and changes his name to Danny.
6) "The days go on and on... they don't end. All my life needed was a sense of someplace to go. I don't believe that one should devote his life to morbid self-attention, I believe that one should become a person like other people." Who uttered this quote?
a) Travis Bickle in "Taxi Driver"
b) Tavis Smiley of "BET Network"
c) Anyone who works in the food service indudtry
d) Maytag Repairman
7) "We both know why I was transferred. Everyone thinks I'm suicidal, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me; or they think I'm faking to draw a psycho pension, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I'm fucked." Who made this memorable quote?
a) Karl Rove after being unceremoniously discharged today by George W
b) Frank Burns in MASH
c) General George Custer moments before "The Little Bighorn"
d) v.c., yers truly, after landing another job in the food biz.
8) "My father made him an offer he couldn't refuse." Who is 'him' in this quote?
a) Hulk Hogan
b) Gene Simmons
c) Bobby Brown
d) v.c., yers truly, after accepting his new job, which pays him the new minimum wage, $5.85 an hour.
9) "Hey, whaddya gonna do, nice college boy, eh? Didn't want to get mixed up in the Family business, huh? Now you wanna gun down a police captain. Why? Because he slapped ya in the face a little bit? Hah? What do you think this is the Army, where you shoot 'em a mile away? You've gotta get up close like this and - bada-BING! - you blow their brains all over your nice Ivy League suit. C'mere..." Who is the nice college boy?
a) Michael Corleone
b) Tommy Lee Jones
c) Al Gore, who invented the Internet.
d) v.c., yers truly, after graduating from Truck U.
10) "I was just reciting the Shepard's Prayer. Alan Shepard's prayer. Please God, don't let us screw up. Amen." Who said this, eh?
a) Virgil Grissom
b) Frank Corvin and Hawk Hawkins
c) Jose Jimenez
d) v.c., yers truly, talking to himself in the 3rd person, after landing a new job.
Well, there you have it. v.c.'s trivia challenge. Tune in tomorrow for all of the answers.
1) Who said: "As God is my witness, as God is my witness they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry again."
a) Lindsey Lohan
b) Mama Cass Eliot after going through 'fat' rehab.
c) Kirstie Alley after signing up with Jenny Craig.
d) v.c., yers truly, after being terminated from another job.
2) Who said: "I'll be back!"
a) Lindsey Lohan after another stint on rehab.
b) Rosie O'Donnell after losing her job on "The View" and losing out as host for ":The Price Is Right."
c) Michael Vick
d) v.c., yers truly, after being fired from another job.
3) Holly Golightly was referring to "whom" in this famous movie quote: "He's alright! Aren't you, cat? Poor cat! Poor slob! Poor slob without a name! The way I see it I haven't got the right to give him one. We don't belong to each other. We just took up one day by the river. I don't want to own anything until I find a place where me and things go together. I'm not sure where that is but I know what it is like. It's like Tiffany's."
a) Lindsey Lohan
b) Michael Vick ( substitute Aren't you, dog? Poor dog! for Michael ]
c) Cat Stevens and/or Yusuf Islam
d) v.c., yers truly, after Holly learns he has been termed again.
4) In "Magnum Force" Dirty Harry tells Lt. Briggs, "A man's got to know his limitations. To whom was he referring?
a) Karl Rove after he was unceremoniously dumped today by George W.
b) Sylvester Stallone, who at 62 years old, encored another version of Rocky Balboa in 2007.
c) Starsky or Hutch or Huggy Bear!
d) v.c., yers truly, who was part of the vigilante force targeting asshole bosses in the workplace.
5) "You see Danny, I can deal with the bullets, and the bombs, and the blood. I don't want money, and I don't want medals. What I do want is for you to stand there in that faggoty white uniform and with your Harvard mouth extend me some fucking courtesy. You gotta ask me nicely." Who is Danny?
a) A trial lawyer who never goes to court. A master of the plea bargain.
b) An ex postal worker who has gone well, uh, postal.
c) The newest member of "The Village People."
d) v.c., yers truly, who can't find a job, so he enrolls in the witness protection program, and changes his name to Danny.
6) "The days go on and on... they don't end. All my life needed was a sense of someplace to go. I don't believe that one should devote his life to morbid self-attention, I believe that one should become a person like other people." Who uttered this quote?
a) Travis Bickle in "Taxi Driver"
b) Tavis Smiley of "BET Network"
c) Anyone who works in the food service indudtry
d) Maytag Repairman
7) "We both know why I was transferred. Everyone thinks I'm suicidal, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me; or they think I'm faking to draw a psycho pension, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I'm fucked." Who made this memorable quote?
a) Karl Rove after being unceremoniously discharged today by George W
b) Frank Burns in MASH
c) General George Custer moments before "The Little Bighorn"
d) v.c., yers truly, after landing another job in the food biz.
8) "My father made him an offer he couldn't refuse." Who is 'him' in this quote?
a) Hulk Hogan
b) Gene Simmons
c) Bobby Brown
d) v.c., yers truly, after accepting his new job, which pays him the new minimum wage, $5.85 an hour.
9) "Hey, whaddya gonna do, nice college boy, eh? Didn't want to get mixed up in the Family business, huh? Now you wanna gun down a police captain. Why? Because he slapped ya in the face a little bit? Hah? What do you think this is the Army, where you shoot 'em a mile away? You've gotta get up close like this and - bada-BING! - you blow their brains all over your nice Ivy League suit. C'mere..." Who is the nice college boy?
a) Michael Corleone
b) Tommy Lee Jones
c) Al Gore, who invented the Internet.
d) v.c., yers truly, after graduating from Truck U.
10) "I was just reciting the Shepard's Prayer. Alan Shepard's prayer. Please God, don't let us screw up. Amen." Who said this, eh?
a) Virgil Grissom
b) Frank Corvin and Hawk Hawkins
c) Jose Jimenez
d) v.c., yers truly, talking to himself in the 3rd person, after landing a new job.
Well, there you have it. v.c.'s trivia challenge. Tune in tomorrow for all of the answers.
Monday, August 13, 2007
"On the avenue of sinners I have been employed"
I am always inspired by comments from the "Peanut Gallery." Apologies to Buffalo Bob and Howdy Doody. Two from Rockhead two days in a row. Steverino made his debut. Slippery throws one in every now and then. Hoots, ditto. And Marty-well, he's been MIA lately.
I tried to respond to Rock's latest comment, but the Gods at Google deigned otherwise. 'Deigned' is now officially the "word of the day" on G.P. Every now and then I can pull one out of me ass.
"Come Again" by Bread, mentioned in my first response to Rock is so obscure even youtube doesn't have it, so I will opt for a George Harrison one. RIP, George. Harold is on the way.
On the avenue of sinners I have been employed
working there 'til I was near destroyed
I was almost a statistic inside a doctor's case
when I heard the messenger from inner space
He was sending me a signal that so for long I had
ignored
but he held on to my umbilical cord
until the ghost of memory trapped in my body mind
came out of hiding to become alive. signed, v.c., yers truly
P.S. It is now incumbent upon the reader to leave a comment.
I tried to respond to Rock's latest comment, but the Gods at Google deigned otherwise. 'Deigned' is now officially the "word of the day" on G.P. Every now and then I can pull one out of me ass.
"Come Again" by Bread, mentioned in my first response to Rock is so obscure even youtube doesn't have it, so I will opt for a George Harrison one. RIP, George. Harold is on the way.
On the avenue of sinners I have been employed
working there 'til I was near destroyed
I was almost a statistic inside a doctor's case
when I heard the messenger from inner space
He was sending me a signal that so for long I had
ignored
but he held on to my umbilical cord
until the ghost of memory trapped in my body mind
came out of hiding to become alive. signed, v.c., yers truly
P.S. It is now incumbent upon the reader to leave a comment.
"Abandonment"
I was at my Al-Anon meeting Sunday, and the topic on the dais was abandonment. Because of the anonymity factor that is subscribed to by the members, I can't divulge what anyone said. For once in our meetings, I didn't say anything. Not sure why. I'm normally kinda chatty [ Kathy. ]
One reason was I waited til everyone got through with their "sharing." That's what the members say when they want to say something. It goes like this:
"Hi. I'm Susie and I'd like to share."
"Hello, Susie," is what the rest of the group says. But so far I hasven't felt comfortable verbalizing the sharer's name. I just kinda grunt and nod my head.
But here's what I would have said. For those of you unfamiliar with Al-Anon, the sharer is supposed to talk for only 2 minutes. Me? I ramble on and on with coherent thoughts lacking. But anyway, here's what would have spilled out.
I know abandonment. My father left the household when I was three. My mom literally cried for two years. My sister, who was 9 at the time, can vouch for this because I was too young. And Mom would have taken him back, but it wasn't meant to be. They married young. He was from Philly; she grew up in Charleston. He was in the Navy during WW II, and I think he peeled potatoes on the ship. Must be why I have an aversion, er, attraction to the food biz.
Well, Spuds and Vonnie got married. Soon Olga came along. And then v.c. Olga is 61 years old and still carries the scars from our dad leaving. And our mom never let a chance go by where she didn't lambast him, saying he was the worst sob on the planet.
And when we did bad things, we were sometimes told:
"You want to go live with your daddy? He don't give a shit about you!"
I know abandonment from my employers. Piccadilly abandoned me after 30 years; PMSHost [ tip of the cap to Marty for that one ] abandoned me; and Cracker Barrel, ditto. Like I said before, it must be me, eh?
So, yeah, I know abandonment. And methinks my two minutes is up. v.c.
P.S. A perfect song for tonight's post, courtesy of Winston O'Boogie.
One reason was I waited til everyone got through with their "sharing." That's what the members say when they want to say something. It goes like this:
"Hi. I'm Susie and I'd like to share."
"Hello, Susie," is what the rest of the group says. But so far I hasven't felt comfortable verbalizing the sharer's name. I just kinda grunt and nod my head.
But here's what I would have said. For those of you unfamiliar with Al-Anon, the sharer is supposed to talk for only 2 minutes. Me? I ramble on and on with coherent thoughts lacking. But anyway, here's what would have spilled out.
I know abandonment. My father left the household when I was three. My mom literally cried for two years. My sister, who was 9 at the time, can vouch for this because I was too young. And Mom would have taken him back, but it wasn't meant to be. They married young. He was from Philly; she grew up in Charleston. He was in the Navy during WW II, and I think he peeled potatoes on the ship. Must be why I have an aversion, er, attraction to the food biz.
Well, Spuds and Vonnie got married. Soon Olga came along. And then v.c. Olga is 61 years old and still carries the scars from our dad leaving. And our mom never let a chance go by where she didn't lambast him, saying he was the worst sob on the planet.
And when we did bad things, we were sometimes told:
"You want to go live with your daddy? He don't give a shit about you!"
I know abandonment from my employers. Piccadilly abandoned me after 30 years; PMSHost [ tip of the cap to Marty for that one ] abandoned me; and Cracker Barrel, ditto. Like I said before, it must be me, eh?
So, yeah, I know abandonment. And methinks my two minutes is up. v.c.
P.S. A perfect song for tonight's post, courtesy of Winston O'Boogie.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Goodbye Class of '69 Member
I got the news today that Harold Stinson had passed away. CPOD being the culprit. I didn't know what that was, so I googled it. Damn, ain't modern technology wonderful? You just punch something in to Google and voila. The other day I saw "The Bourne Identity" and couldn't recall where I had seen the starlet, who played a femme fatale. Well almost, cos she will likely resurface in the next "Bourne."
In the newspaper I saw a blurb where they said the next one could be called "Bourne Free." Or "Bourne on the 4th of July." I was thinking "Bourne to be Wild" and "Bourne Out of Wedlock." But what do I know?
Anyway Harold cheated the actuary tables by leaving the earth at 55 or 56 years old. He was a free spirit, but I don't think I've seen him since high school. He worked at McDonalds' during his tenure at Rowdy High. And once as the grill cook put twelve raw burgers in the window to be wrapped. Seems the manager was in a rush for them, and Harold, in his own inimitable style, did his best for guest excellence.
COPD. Emphysema. Bronchitis. Not good. Must have been a long-time smoker. I do remember smoking a few with Harold in the Rowdy High smoking area. Wonder if they still allow this ancient practice? I doubt if they do.
We had a motto, our senior class, which went:
Sex, sin, beer and wine;
We're the class of '69.
Sorry to see you go, Harold. v.c.
P.S.Thank goodness for dictionary.com, too. I didn't know how to spell inimitable. Modern technology strikes again.
P.S.S. Harold, say hello to John and George and Elvis and Jimi and Janis and John Kennedy and my dogs, Juno, Elvis, Sam, Polly, Mitzi I and II and Brandy Girl when you reach the pearly gates. And above all else, rock steady! Apologies to Bad Company.
In the newspaper I saw a blurb where they said the next one could be called "Bourne Free." Or "Bourne on the 4th of July." I was thinking "Bourne to be Wild" and "Bourne Out of Wedlock." But what do I know?
Anyway Harold cheated the actuary tables by leaving the earth at 55 or 56 years old. He was a free spirit, but I don't think I've seen him since high school. He worked at McDonalds' during his tenure at Rowdy High. And once as the grill cook put twelve raw burgers in the window to be wrapped. Seems the manager was in a rush for them, and Harold, in his own inimitable style, did his best for guest excellence.
COPD. Emphysema. Bronchitis. Not good. Must have been a long-time smoker. I do remember smoking a few with Harold in the Rowdy High smoking area. Wonder if they still allow this ancient practice? I doubt if they do.
We had a motto, our senior class, which went:
Sex, sin, beer and wine;
We're the class of '69.
Sorry to see you go, Harold. v.c.
P.S.Thank goodness for dictionary.com, too. I didn't know how to spell inimitable. Modern technology strikes again.
P.S.S. Harold, say hello to John and George and Elvis and Jimi and Janis and John Kennedy and my dogs, Juno, Elvis, Sam, Polly, Mitzi I and II and Brandy Girl when you reach the pearly gates. And above all else, rock steady! Apologies to Bad Company.
Friday, August 10, 2007
I'll Scratch Your Back And You'll Scratch Mine?"
My second post on the Yahoo Message Board in 2001 was [ aptly ] entitled "Nobody Loves You When You're Down and Out." Ripped the title from one John Lennon, but the song described what my company was going through at the time. There was a lot of bickering and derisiveness going on; the stock was plummetting; and the rats were jumping ship. It was fucked up.
I have found myself in the same boat....unfortunately.
But the Braves are playing the Phillies tonight. And with the addition of "Tex" at first base, all is right with the world....for a minute. And how about that catch Willie Harris made on Carlos del Gado's potential game tying home run in the ninth inning yesterday.
Seems Willie hails from Cairo, Ga. Anybody else famous from that town? Well, let's see. Does Jackie Robinson ring a bell?
Life is a bowl of cherries, v.c.
P.S. Nobody loves you when you're down and out. I remember John saying he thought the tune would be a good one for Frank Sinatra.
I have found myself in the same boat....unfortunately.
But the Braves are playing the Phillies tonight. And with the addition of "Tex" at first base, all is right with the world....for a minute. And how about that catch Willie Harris made on Carlos del Gado's potential game tying home run in the ninth inning yesterday.
Seems Willie hails from Cairo, Ga. Anybody else famous from that town? Well, let's see. Does Jackie Robinson ring a bell?
Life is a bowl of cherries, v.c.
P.S. Nobody loves you when you're down and out. I remember John saying he thought the tune would be a good one for Frank Sinatra.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Sunday, August 05, 2007
"Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter"
Believe it or not, there is an actual movie entitled "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter." Circa 1966. And then there's a movie I saw listed on 'Fearnet' as "Hillbillies in a Haunted House," starring the delightful Basil Rathbone and Lon Chaney Jr. The synopsis:
Country singers on their way to Nashville have car trouble, forcing them to stop at an old haunted mansion. Soon they realize that the house is not only haunted, but is also the headquarters of a ring of international spies after a top secret formula for rocket fuel.
Upon further research I, yours truly, found other movies that have flown under the radar screen. In no particular order, here they are:
1) "Zorro's Daughter Has a Crush on a Werewolf"
2) "Wyatt Earp Has a Shootout at the OK Corral with the Mummy"
3) "Wild Bill Hickok and Dracula of Transylvania Trade Gunfire"
4) "Annie Oakley Slews Auntie Roo"
5) "Bonnie and Clyde vs. the Night of the Living Dead Zombies"
6) "The Fortune Telling Gypsy in Every Werewolf Movie Tussles with Hopalong Cassidy"
7) "Roy Rogers and Dale Duel Bullet and Trigger, Both Infected with Rabies"
8) "Billy the Kid Fights The Thing From Another World"
9) "The Cisco Kid's Second Cousin Once Removed Battles Godzilla's Grands" [ grandkids ]
10) "Rednecks Under Siege In a Haunted Castle." Which stars the critically-acclaimed actor, Steven Seagal.
These are just some of the movies that you may have missed at some time in your life. And you thought you knew movies?
Son of Mothra, v.c.
Country singers on their way to Nashville have car trouble, forcing them to stop at an old haunted mansion. Soon they realize that the house is not only haunted, but is also the headquarters of a ring of international spies after a top secret formula for rocket fuel.
Upon further research I, yours truly, found other movies that have flown under the radar screen. In no particular order, here they are:
1) "Zorro's Daughter Has a Crush on a Werewolf"
2) "Wyatt Earp Has a Shootout at the OK Corral with the Mummy"
3) "Wild Bill Hickok and Dracula of Transylvania Trade Gunfire"
4) "Annie Oakley Slews Auntie Roo"
5) "Bonnie and Clyde vs. the Night of the Living Dead Zombies"
6) "The Fortune Telling Gypsy in Every Werewolf Movie Tussles with Hopalong Cassidy"
7) "Roy Rogers and Dale Duel Bullet and Trigger, Both Infected with Rabies"
8) "Billy the Kid Fights The Thing From Another World"
9) "The Cisco Kid's Second Cousin Once Removed Battles Godzilla's Grands" [ grandkids ]
10) "Rednecks Under Siege In a Haunted Castle." Which stars the critically-acclaimed actor, Steven Seagal.
These are just some of the movies that you may have missed at some time in your life. And you thought you knew movies?
Son of Mothra, v.c.
Saturday, August 04, 2007
'Change the Man to a Woman, and You've Got a Picture, Kid!'"
Thanks to TCM for tonight's foray into the macabre:
Francis Ford Coppola was still a graduate student at UCLA film school when he was hired by low-budget producer and director Roger Corman to write a new story and dialogue around a Russian science-fiction movie Corman had acquired, Nebo Zowet (1959).
....Coppola came up with a single scene, a Hitchcockian sequence that was purely visual and included "everything I knew Roger would like." As Coppola was further quoted by biographer Gene D. Phillips: "'A man goes to a pond and takes off his clothes, picks up five dolls, ties them together, goes under the water, and dives down, where he finds the body of a seven-year-old girl with her hair floating in the current...then he gets axed to death.' Corman responded enthusiastically, 'Change the man to a woman, and you've got a picture, kid!'"
As yours truly has pontificated many times in the past: they don't make 'em like they used to.
P.S. Dementia 13 co-star Mary Mitchel on producer Roger Corman and the kinds of breaks he gave to aspiring filmmakers like Francis Coppola: "At the time, the studios had no interest at all in young filmmakers. Nobody came out of the universities, nobody was considered to be knowledgeable or be of any value at all. In fact, [young filmmakers] were totally barred from any kind of jobs whatsoever, couldn't get near a studio or a set. There was no mentoring... 'cause there was nothing in it for the old guard. There was only one person who offered young actors and filmmakers an opportunity, and that was Roger Corman. His was the only company where you could get a foothold."
Francis Ford Coppola was still a graduate student at UCLA film school when he was hired by low-budget producer and director Roger Corman to write a new story and dialogue around a Russian science-fiction movie Corman had acquired, Nebo Zowet (1959).
....Coppola came up with a single scene, a Hitchcockian sequence that was purely visual and included "everything I knew Roger would like." As Coppola was further quoted by biographer Gene D. Phillips: "'A man goes to a pond and takes off his clothes, picks up five dolls, ties them together, goes under the water, and dives down, where he finds the body of a seven-year-old girl with her hair floating in the current...then he gets axed to death.' Corman responded enthusiastically, 'Change the man to a woman, and you've got a picture, kid!'"
As yours truly has pontificated many times in the past: they don't make 'em like they used to.
P.S. Dementia 13 co-star Mary Mitchel on producer Roger Corman and the kinds of breaks he gave to aspiring filmmakers like Francis Coppola: "At the time, the studios had no interest at all in young filmmakers. Nobody came out of the universities, nobody was considered to be knowledgeable or be of any value at all. In fact, [young filmmakers] were totally barred from any kind of jobs whatsoever, couldn't get near a studio or a set. There was no mentoring... 'cause there was nothing in it for the old guard. There was only one person who offered young actors and filmmakers an opportunity, and that was Roger Corman. His was the only company where you could get a foothold."
Friday, August 03, 2007
"Lucy, What Happened?"
I have always been a big baseball fan. Since I was nine years old. I recall what a thrill it was seeing Willie Mays playing center field for the S.F. Giants back in '66. The team also included Willie McCovey and Juan Marichal. And getting to see Sandy Koufax undone by Eddie Matthews, whose ninth inning home run beat the Dodgers 2-1 in dramatic fashion.
I remember seeing the "Big Red Machine" with Pete Rose, Johnny Bench, and Sparky Anderson. And rooting against the Yankees of the late 70's, who had Ron Guidry, Reggie Jackson, and Thurman Munson.
I remember Goose Gossage; Rollie Fingers; the "Mad Hungarian," Al Hrabosky; Bruce Sutter; and George Brett.
In the 80's I cheered for the Braves. Bob Horner, Dale Murphy, Knucksie, et al. But from '85 to '90, the team sucked.
In the 90's the Braves went from worst to first and ignited the city. With the likes of Sid Bream, Terry Pendleton, John Smoltz, et al.
In the early part of the 2000's I cheered some more. For the likes of Chipper Jones, Gary Sheffield, Kevin Millwood, et al.
Tonight I tuned in to watch the Braves vs. the Colorado Rockies. 2007 edition. I'm thinking! Where's Larry Walker, Vinny Castilla, and Daryl Kile? I don't think I had ever heard of anybody on the team.
What's gonna happen when Greg Maddux, Barry Bonds, John Smoltz, and Julio Franco finally retire. I ain't gonna know nobody. Somewhere along the line I was left out of the loop.
In summary: Lucy, what happened?
P.S. Ah, memories. Biff Poccaroba, Rod Gilbreath, Buzz Capra, Ernie Johnson, Milo Hamilton and....Larry Munson, the first Braves announcer along with Milo.
I remember seeing the "Big Red Machine" with Pete Rose, Johnny Bench, and Sparky Anderson. And rooting against the Yankees of the late 70's, who had Ron Guidry, Reggie Jackson, and Thurman Munson.
I remember Goose Gossage; Rollie Fingers; the "Mad Hungarian," Al Hrabosky; Bruce Sutter; and George Brett.
In the 80's I cheered for the Braves. Bob Horner, Dale Murphy, Knucksie, et al. But from '85 to '90, the team sucked.
In the 90's the Braves went from worst to first and ignited the city. With the likes of Sid Bream, Terry Pendleton, John Smoltz, et al.
In the early part of the 2000's I cheered some more. For the likes of Chipper Jones, Gary Sheffield, Kevin Millwood, et al.
Tonight I tuned in to watch the Braves vs. the Colorado Rockies. 2007 edition. I'm thinking! Where's Larry Walker, Vinny Castilla, and Daryl Kile? I don't think I had ever heard of anybody on the team.
What's gonna happen when Greg Maddux, Barry Bonds, John Smoltz, and Julio Franco finally retire. I ain't gonna know nobody. Somewhere along the line I was left out of the loop.
In summary: Lucy, what happened?
P.S. Ah, memories. Biff Poccaroba, Rod Gilbreath, Buzz Capra, Ernie Johnson, Milo Hamilton and....Larry Munson, the first Braves announcer along with Milo.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
"Beserk"
This is a vintage movie from the 60's, circa 1968 to be exact. I saw this grand flick from the comfort of my car. It starred the venerable Joan Crawford and Ty Hardin of "Bronco" fame.
Ms. Crawford looks a bit old ( imho ) to be playing the leading lady, but Hollywood could have cared less. She also gets to snuggle with her co-star, who meets a grizzly death at the hands of Joan's daughter, played by the forgotten Judy Geeson. Ty plays a trapeeze artist while Joan is the ringmaster.
This cinema classic somewhat startled me back in those consciousness-raising times. I never have come to grips with looney-bin characters who are knocking-off the others one-by-one. And the viewer has to decide who did it. ( or whodunit? ) As always, it's the last one you would expect. Kinda like life, eh?
"I Need A Raise?"
Be afraid. Be very afraid from now on, if you are contemplating asking the boss for a raise. You may receive a bullet to the head for your troubles.
I have worked in the restaurant biz for 30 years, and it's common to hear the phrase "I need a raise" from the team members. Like every day. Like 365 days a year. In the following scenario seems the boss got tired of hearing it from his team.
Two underpaid employees at an East Point car dealership had been hounding their boss for a raise. Instead, the boss gave them each a bullet to the head, police said.
Fed up with the two workers' frequent salary demands, owner Rolandas Milinavicius — who was in dire financial straits — apparently snapped Thursday morning and allegedly shot both of them to death inside the business.
Rolandas Milinavicius, 38, owner of RM Auto International in East Point,turned himself in and confessed to killing his employees, Martynas Simokaitis and Inga Contreras. All are from Lithuania.
I have worked in the restaurant biz for 30 years, and it's common to hear the phrase "I need a raise" from the team members. Like every day. Like 365 days a year. In the following scenario seems the boss got tired of hearing it from his team.
Two underpaid employees at an East Point car dealership had been hounding their boss for a raise. Instead, the boss gave them each a bullet to the head, police said.
Fed up with the two workers' frequent salary demands, owner Rolandas Milinavicius — who was in dire financial straits — apparently snapped Thursday morning and allegedly shot both of them to death inside the business.
Rolandas Milinavicius, 38, owner of RM Auto International in East Point,turned himself in and confessed to killing his employees, Martynas Simokaitis and Inga Contreras. All are from Lithuania.
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