"Fast Times at Rowdy High"

 
 
 
 

Whatever happened to the class of '69, Slippery? click here!

v.c. became a cafeteria manager and made beaucoups money. But worked his ass off and has little ass left to show for his efforts. His current boss in the wonderful world of food bizdom is a dickhead, which has been well-chronicled in yesteryear's posts, er, forays. Btw, what the fork was I thinking?

sam, er, george had a good gig at the hospital and saw it grow from an acorn into a big oak. what thanks did he get? None, when they shoved his ass out the door.

ley went to fight in the jungles of viet nam and came home in a body bag, allah bubba of forrest gump fame.

greg went from being the star quarterback to doctor of psychology or some bull-shit and is now stationed in the city my friend marty calls home. Boca Raton, that is. greg, who was born in the deep south, along with most of the rest of us, is now a liberal, allah olga in san francisco.

bob went from being the star tackle and receiving a scholarship to clemson to selling LSD on the streets.

conservative keith stayed conservative all his life and is now working for a trucking company in jawja. he married his high school sweetheart, had one child ( conservative, too ) and leads a blissful life.

steve became an art afficionado and sends me silly e mails. however, i like getting them.

bogus is still bogus. he joined the navy after being ditched by his girl friend. served in bahrain via columbia, married a belly dancer, had one child, got divorced, remarried, and went completely bald, allah his daddy, sweet lucy.

nancy, rowdy high's chief cheerleader, married greg ( see above ) and had a child, and they named her natalie after natalie wood.

edward was a trombonist at r.h. he of the '64 mass integration into the schools. he embodied the dialect of the african-american at the time. All for oil; ax for ask; etc. don't think he said "boo" or "it's all good." those were to come much later. seems edward became a customer at v.c.'s cafeteria and would pop in from time to time. my most memorable recollection of edward was his saying: "dem things nasty."

the writer of the pond apologizes in advance for abruptly ending tonite's foray. Why? Because I'm a'sleepy.

say goodnite, v.c.

p.s. goodnite, v.c.

p.s.s. poor sam. forkers. 

"Foray to Follow"

 
 
  

"You Can't Handle the Truth" or "Code Red"

From back in the day, a tale from yesteryear written by yers truly. The cast of characters:

1) Azam: former COO of a well-known cafeteria chain

2) Ronnie: former CEO of a well-known cafeteria chain.

3) ibbq4you2: set adrift from the team [ euphemism for fired, terminated, kaput, fini' ] after Azam, aka "the hatchet man" entered the picture.

4) Kaffee: a lawyer for ibbq4you2. If this were a movie, Tom Cruise would undoubtedly get the part, even if you think he's crazy and don't know jack about Scientology. Apologies to L. Ron Hubbard.

5) Rod Serling: Married to Ann Sothern and the inventor pf "The Twilight Zone."


Like the < rod > serlingesque commentaries penned by hoots, did anyone see the updated "A Few Good Men" the other night on the Sci-fi channel. It was really good, as usual, but different from the original. Seems they were showing the director's cut. The ending, of course, is the hi lite of the flick. The red herrings are exposed while building to a thrilling climax. For those of you who didn't see it....We pick it up where Kaffee, lead counsel for the defense is questioning Ronnie about a possible Code Red that Ronnie may have ordered.

KAFFEE

When Azam spoke to the team and
ordered them not to fire bbq, any
chance they ignored him?

Ronnie
Have you ever spent time in a cafeteria,
son?

KAFFEE
No sir.

RONNIE
Ever served as a maintenance mechanic?

KAFFEE
No sir.

RONNIE
Ever put your wife, er, knife in another man's hands,
ask him to put his wife, er, knife in yours?

KAFFEE
No sir.

RONNIE
We follow orders, son. We follow orders
or people fry/don't fry. Pun unintended It's that simple. Are we
clear?

KAFFEE
Yes sir.

RONNIE
Are we clear?

KAFFEE
Crystal.


If Malik told his men that BBQ
wasn't to be touched, then why did he have
to be terminated?

Azam ordered the code red, didn't he?
Because that's what you told Azam to
do.
And when it went bad, you cut this guy
loose.

KAFFEE
I'll ask for the fourth time. You ordered--

RONNIE
You want answers?

KAFFEE
I think I'm entitled to them.

RONNIE
You want answers?!

KAFFEE
I want the truth.

RONNIE
You can't handle the truth! (continuing)
Son, we live in a world that has malls.
And those malls have to be served by men
who sell buns. Among other things. Who's gonna do it? You? You,
Lt. Whineberg? I have a greater
responsibility than you can possibly
fathom. You weep for BBQ and you
curse the ceo's in the ivory towers. You have that luxury.
You have the luxury of not knowing what I
know: That BBQ's termination, while tragic,
probably saved jobs-we didn't have to fire more people at the time. And my existence,
while grotesque and incomprehensible to
you, saves jobs. For the likes of AAAA Repair, the Federal Bureaucracy, the workers at the unemployment offices, etc.

I have neither the time nor the
inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the
very freedom I provide, then questions the
manner in which I provide it. I'd prefer
you just said thank you and went on your
way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a
serving spoon and stand a post. Either way, I
don't give a damn what you think you're
entitled to.

KAFFEE
(quietly)
Did you order the code red?

RONNIE
(pause)
You're goddamn right I did.

About that time I dozed off, but do remember hearing a voice that eerily sounded like Rod's, who pronounced: submitted for your approval and perusal.

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. Azam managed to get the stock up to $3.00 a share; then it all went south. The company filed bankruptcy; Ronnie was fired; and yers truly bit the dust as well.

"Yer Blues"

 
 
 
 

Kitty says I've been a bit dour lately. And she's worried about me, re: "Free As A Bird." She picked up a vibe from that post. But the real story is: I was perusing youtube.com and typed in free as a bird, fab 4. Of course the video from the anthology popped up, and I enjoyed watching the mystery tour. And, er, wanted to show it with the viewing public. That's it in a nutshell.

Speaking of which, here's another favorite tune from back in the day. The song first appeared on the white album and was reprieved in the following video from the plastic ono band live in toronto.

Yer blues, er, my blues, v.c.

P.S. All we are saying is give v.c. a chance.

P.S.S. Jerry lee Lewis was on the bill, and that's Eric Clapton playing with the ono band. Also, Klaus Voorman plays bass, he of the "Revolver" design fame.

P.S.S.S. Who needs google when yer mind is full of useless trivia?

P.S. Unfortunately, the proprietor of the Pond can't find the video, so we'll go instead with John, Eric, and members of the jimi hendrix experience. And white men can't jump, eh? 

P.S. ad infinitum: Usage Note: The word dour, which is etymologically related to duress and endure, traditionally rhymes with tour. The variant pronunciation that rhymes with sour is, however, widely used and must be considered acceptable. In a recent survey, 65 percent of the Usage Panel preferred the traditional pronunciation, and 33 percent preferred the variant. Pulled that one out me arse, eh?

"Tragical History Tour"

 
 
 


I have become a Youtube.com junkie. Right up a trivia nut's alley. Watching the "Supremes" on "The Ed Sullivan Show;" and singing "Stop in the Name of Luv" with Frankie Avalon. Huh? And whatever happened to Annette?

Rod Stewart singing "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy" while capitalizing on the disco craze circa 1979. Elvis Presley and Ann Margaret crooning a duet in "Viva Las Vegas;" "The Ramones" warbling "Needles and Pins," an olde Sonny Bono tune from back inna day.

It don't get no better than this.

Tonite's litany [ everybody seems to use that word these days ] of pictures is from "Tragical History Tour." A parody of the fab 4 by the Rutles. If you put the link in your browser you will hear "Piggy in the Middle."

Youtube, my man, er, my link, v.c.

P.S. And whatever happened to Cher and Chastity?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=TGFLJXBhURg

"Free as A Bird;" I Wanna Be Free Like A Bird In a Tree;" "Free Bird!"

 
 
 
 

Me: I want to be free like a bird in a tree!

Boss: What the hell!

Me: Apologies to Elvis; Lieber and Stoller!

Boss: Have you lost your freakin' mind?

Me: If I leave here tomorrow, will you still remember me? Eh?

Boss: You are just another insignificant piece of horse manure that works for me and the company. As soon as you're gone, we'll find another twenty just like you. You are irrelevant, dispensable, and replaceable. No, I will erase you from my memory banks. However, in team meetings we will sometimes bring your name up so's we can ridicule your ex sorry ass. Or should I say former?

Me: But, boss. What ever happened to the life that we once knew?
Can we really live without each other?
Where did we lose the touch?
It seemed to mean so much; it always made me feel so
Free, as a bird.

Boss: I always thought you were nuttier than a fruit cake. My suspicions have been confirmed.

Me: I think what we've got here is a failure to communicate.

Boss: Communicate this. Yer fired, allah Donald Trump, my idol.

Will v.c. bounce back? is this the end of the line for the poor boy? Who who the fork knows.

I look out my window and what do I see ee ee. I see a bird way up inna tree.
I wanna be free, oh yes. Free e e e. I wanna be free; like a bird inna tree, v.c.

P.S. For your viewing pleasure http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWtaEwEhM1I 

"Crackers and Jews and Black Panthers and Uncle Tom"

 

My liberal sister from San Fran says that Cynthia McKinney is her hero. Huh?

Submitted for your approval and perusal shows the aforementioned [ latter of the two ) after losing her bid for re-election. What a nice group of people.

After careful reconsideration, the catfish has a newfound appreciation for Ms. McKinney and her entourage. She is now my hero, too. Thank God for people like Cynthia McKinney!

White muddah fu**&%$ cracker but not Jewish, v.c.

P.S. Shirley, the McKinney gang was upset at losing to an Uncle Tom, so I am giving them a pass for the ethnic slurs.

P.S.S. The link  

"Wherefore Art Thou?" Or "Apologies to the Bard"

 
 
 
 

Tonite's foray will be a quick snippet [ ouch ] as it's 12:50 in the morning, and the cock crows in a few hours from now.

First of all, a query will be posed to the reader. A savvy one will immediately determine-through deductive reasoning-which photos belong in the above montage and which ones do not. Because there are only 4 pix, a guess is considered prudent. Cos you can't win if you don't play the game.

Secondly, none of my [ few ] loyal readers ventured towards The Pond today. Ergo, wherefore art thou, Slippery? See tonite's title for the connection.

Thirdly, I am disgusted tonite with the human race. Especially those who work in the food biz. From the brass to the labor force. With the middle management always stuck in the middle. A rather thankless job, mind you. And the ones that are the most expendable during budget crisis.' What a good word, eh? "Chrise-a-sees"!*

Fourthly, as Leon Russell once sang:

I've been so many places in my life and time
I've sung a lot of songs I've made some bad rhyme
I've acted out my love in stages
With ten thousand people watching....

Fifthly, if one continues the mantra, is one-hundredthly the proper terminology?

Sixthly, v.c.

P.S. *Enunciate this!

P.S.S. Those with broadband may want to peruse the following link. Apologies to Chevy Chase! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XidomLa3DZk ;

"Good Night"

The proprietor of the pond is tired and sleepy.zzzzzzzzzzzzz

"100 Greatest Guitarists"

 

In case you missed it. Some interesting surprises! Click here

crosstown traffic, v.c. 

"Sad Day On The Pond"

 

Me and Kitty were stunned to hear the news. "The Crocodile Man," Steve Irwin, had died. A tragic story. A sad day, indeed. 

"New York, New York"

 

There is something terribly wrong with people seeking to demean and weaken the president in war time, thereby strengthening our country's enemies. As a result of the language and tactics of those opposed to our presence in Iraq, our enemies have been emboldened, believing the American public to be sharply divided on the war, and in fact at war with itself. To other countries, Americans appear pitted against one another not in an election, but in a verbal bloodbath, convincing the world we are impotent -- a paper tiger.


This from former Hizzoner, Ed Koch. To read the entire article click here.

v.c. 

"Stay With Me"

 

One of my all-time favorites. Courtesy of Rod Stewart and Faces.

"I know yer name is Rita
And yer perfume's smelling sweeter
Since when I saw you down on the floor.

Guitar!" v.c.

P.S. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BrFYwL0yfc 

"Harry, Keep the Change"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lISal7chAjo

"Sci-Fi: Foray to Follow"

 
 
 
  

"People of Earth----ATTENTION"

 
 
 
 

Tonite is friday and the best day of the week to catch a sci-fi flick from back in the day. [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbJkkygHUiA }When black and white cinema verite was as common as color is today. Great movies, imho. They all had the same plot:

Young teens: "Dave, you've got to believe us! We just saw a flying saucer in the desert."

Dave: "Yeah, right. I was born but not yesterday. Now get that jalopy outta here. Hey, rolled and pleated seats. You young teens got it goin' on."

Teens: "Dave, sure we're still wet behind the ears. Sure we don't know jack-diddly. Sure, our hormones are on red-alert, but we just [ seen ] a flying saucer from Mars. Or Venus? Or Uranus?"

Dave: "Watch your mouth, boys! Now get that piece of junk outta here, before I run you all in. Git, I say."

Teens: "No one believes us. What are we gonna do?"

Then there's:

Scientist: "Gentlemen, after countless days of research with the greatest minds in the world, we have perfected an anti-defamation, er, anti-galactic nerve ray, which will blow the pre-historic mutant to smithereens."

Reporters: "Hey, thanks, Doc, for breaking it down into laymen's terms. Hey, Smitty, hold the phone, I got the evening paper's headline. Give me a nickel for the phone."

And:

Teens: "Dave, the old man is dead. And he had a gelatin-like blob on his hand. Then it consumed him. Then it ate the doc; then his nurse. We've got to warn the town. Dave, you're the sheriff. You gotta do something."

Dave: "Yeah, right. You teens have been reading too many science fiction books. Now git outta here, 'fore I run you all in."

They don't make 'em like they used to, v.c.

P.S. Boyfriend: "You may look like Ellen, but you're not Ellen. What has happened to my darling?"

Ellen: "You betrayed us. And now you must die. I am an alien life force who has taken over Ellen's body." 

"Miracle Spring Water from Peter Popoff"

 
 


FINANCIAL TESTIMONIALS
I must tell you…out of the blue, most unexpectedly came a letter from the Canada Teachers Pension Plan for $5,924.00. Wow! I was so surprised. It was as you said-from an "unexpected source". This will just take the "Krunch" off some of these bills, and I can breathe for awhile.
--Sister C. Tunkin, Queensville, ON


My daughter…is in her 4th year for Nursing. I put the red string above her front door. She told me her husband's uncle sent them a cheque for $48,000.00 to pay off all her university schooling debts! Praise God!
--Sis B. Roberts, Richmond, BC


You said that I would receive a new job and get $250.00 to $500.00 increase per month and already I got that job with the increase of pay over $250.00
--Sister Renwick, Mississauga, ON


Thank you for your prayers. Last week I found out that I had an account with enough money in it to pay almost all of my credit cards. This was a total surprise to me. Thank you again for praying with me.
--Sister C. Bercier, Vanier, ON Canada

My son, Timothy has been cleaned of drug use the past month and those horrendous attacks have stopped. Glory to God. Thanks for your love and prayers on our behalf.
--Sister Gagnon, BC, Canada

I was sad and depressed because of my job and my boss. He was sarcastic, demanding, unyielding, and maniacal. That is until I saw your ministry last night on television. I got my free bottle of mineral spring water and voila. I am now my boss' trusted lieutenant; he gave me a big raise; and now all of my financial concerns are kaput, fini.' Thanks, Reverend Popoff.

--Brother v.c. Pon Jovi, Golden Pond

P.S. Sister Kitty would love her own bottle, too.

P.S.S. My boss is no longer a dickhead. And I owe it all to you and the miracle spring water.

I wrote for prayer for my son, for a drinking problem. Well some weeks ago he told me he quit drinking! At three parties with alcohol, I observed no drinking and no smoking. I give God the Glory and Thank you.
--Sister B Sampson, Winnipeg, MB

Thank you so much for your care and prayers. God did a big miracle in Ledia's life because of your prayers she quit drugs and drinking five months ago and a month ago she quit smoking!
-- Sister G. Tesfaye, New Westminster, BC CANADA

I received the miracle spring water and the blessed cakes in Jesus' name. Everything around me and my family is different. Blessings have been occurring. You were not wrong; it was a $17,000 loan that was granted to me to pay off most of my debts. You're a guiding light. I thank the Lord for your prayers. I see myself now walking in the right path.
Brother E. Sotomayor, Bronx, NY (4/22/04)


Thank you so much for my miracle I was looking forward to hearing from you. I used your water as you told me my pain in my chest has gone away. Also you told me I would receive some money and I did about $2,000.00… thank you for helping me and other people keep up your good work.
---Sister M. Bissessar, Brantford, ON Canada

Rev Peter Popoff I am so glad that we are in contact with each other, your prayers for us is a blessing, one thing I have been asking the lord for was a home, thanks to you for all of your prayers my wish came true. I now have a home of my own and that's not all my husband received a $302,000.00 check in the mail the other day unexpectedly. You told me in the letter that miracle money would come true and it has. Thank you so very much for all of your prayers god is good and he has blessed me tremendously .
-- Mrs. Bladensburg

I just had to write and tell you that I received your spring water and I followed your instructions. My daughter was blessed with a new home that same day I used the spring water. Thank you for praying for me and my family. I wrote and asked you to bless my daughter with a new home. May God bless you.
--Sister Butler, Roosevelt, NY

Thanks for your prayers. I want to share with you what God has done for me. I just bought a house with no money down at all. It is a brand new house. I cannot thank God enough for his gift and I cannot thank you enough for praying for me… Once again thanks for everything you have done for me.
--Sister M. Salazar, Surprise, AZ

In early February I received my first letter from you. You asked for a $17 seed gift. The next morning I placed the gift in the mail. Later that day I received a letter from the Federal Government stating they owed me $11,110. Prophet Popoff, you mentioned I would receive between $1,700-$17,000. Well I'm happy to report I received a little over $1,700 (federal tax return).
--Anonymous Partner
MIRACLE HEALING TESTIMONIALS ~ <>
My little granddaughter was sick and I put the red cloth on her head and she got much better and sat right up. Thank you for the prayer cloth that you sent me.
--E. Bridgeman, Quebec, Canada

I did as you told me to in using the miracle spring water. I anointed my whole body with it and under my breast where there were black spots and now it is all gone, my breast is clean.
--E. Bridgeman, Quebec, Canada

I laid my hands on yours through the television. You looked right in my eyes and began to tell the financial burden that was depressing me and making me sick to go in the name of Jesus and I felt it leave…. You also said I would receive money with the next four days. Well Praise God! Three days later I received enough money to make a house payment. Thank you so much for letting God use you!
--Sister B. Bowen, Constantine, MI

I have been suffering with a herniated disc bulging in my spine for 34 years. You told me to mark off the days because something big was going to happen. In the morning I woke up to pray and during the time I was praying I felt different. At the end of the praying it came to me that I don't have any pain at all! I now feel much better in health. Thanks to your prayers I have no more back problems!
--Brother L. Samuels, Spring Hill, FL.

I asked for you to pray for my son's ears that he wouldn't have to have surgery again. Peter Popoff, let me tell you the good news. I took my son back to have his ears checked. The doctor said his ears are fine. He can hear good and he wouldn't have to come back and no surgery. Praise God for he is worthy.
-- Sister M. Banks, Paducah, KY

You told me that I would be healed from the ear problem in the year 2004 and in December 2004. I was completely healed thanks to God working through you and your prayers!
---Brother Gregory, London, England

I greet you in the precious name of Jesus Christ. I wrote you for the anointed Spring Water. Instead I received the green prayer cloth. I say anointing is anointing whether it be water, oil or cloth it's from the hand of an anointed man of God. I have glaucoma and could not see without glasses. Now I write this letter without glasses and can read my Bible without glasses. I thank the Lord for what he has done through you.
--Sister A. Lockiby, Trinidad (5/14/04)


I received the Miracle Spring Water. The same night, I anointed my lower back and my knees. I also stopped my medication. Well, it is going on nine days... I have no pain! The pain I had in my lower back I had since 1973. Many thanks and God bless you.
-- Sister J. Morency, Perth, ON CANADA (5/17/04)



I am writing you to inform you that since you send me that miracle water I been blessed in health. I can't walk five steps. My son called me and said "I am taking you for a walk". He took me to the lake. I walked one mile. My body feels like a new me. The next day he took me to walk some stairs. I walked 3 hundred and some stairs. That's the greatest thing I ever witnessed.
--Sister M. Jackson, Oakland, CA (5/19/04)

DELIVERANCE TESTIMONIALS ~ <>
My husband had been on heroin for about 5 years. He has truly been delivered. He has not used drugs in 90 days. Praise God. You are truly God sent and truly a prophet of God.
-- Sister D. Brown, Pittsburg, PA

I thank you Peter for praying for me and my daughter Surina. She is drug free now, she found a husband and she is expecting a baby, I thank you for everything.
--Sister S. G., Satafort, VA

I wrote you a while back feeling really sad and depressed about thoughts of killing myself. I am writing now to let you know that I did not. Thanks for caring enough to leave a message on my answering machine. I am no longer feeling so depressed and I again love life and I love God.
--Sister J. Hibbs, Triton, Netherlands
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