"Who Fired The Maintenance Man?"

All machinery malfunctions at some point. i.e. computers, televisions, radios, drill bits, deep fat fryers, ovens, dough rollers, etc. 

"Ash Wednesday"

Ash turns out to be a robot. And loses his head. 

"Apologies To Arnold"

This is one mean mother fu-shut your mouth. Ripley and the "Alien" are about to square-off. Apologies to "Shaft" and Isaac Hayes. And to Arnold in "Predator." 

"Sisterhood"

The "Alien" is no match for Ripley, the only member of the crew left. [ And "Ash" the robot ] She triumphs by outsmarting this creature with acid for blood by managing to trick him into the air-locks and blasting his ass into outer space. Sisterhood 1; Alien 0. A unique film in which the hero is actually the heroine. Or does the Sisterhood object to the word? However, Ripley and Kitty lie down to sleep after their harrowing adventure. In the sequel, "Aliens," they sleep for 40-50 years before awakening. "Scary Movie Moment # 2." 

"M.I.T. Graduate"

Tonite's "Scary Movie Moment" # 2 will have to be postponed until tomorrow. Those who tuned in and are disappointed are tendered my apologies in advance. But due to no one's fault but my own I must admit a serious gaffe got by my proof reader and my part-time mathematician. When my "Psycho" foray erred, er, aired a few days ago [ smelly underarms at the Bijou ] my personal Math Whiz on staff miscalculated the ages between Sis and me. I said "7 years my junior," when any M.I.T. graduate could deduce the correct age difference is 6 years 4 months. My sincere apologies to my readers and to my darling l'il sister, Olga Raven. For those who were particularly distressed i.e. faulty subtraction-must be a victim of "new math, eh?-will be pleased to know the math genius has been termed. Which is a polite way of saying his ass was canned. Gimme shelter, v.c. P.S. Number "2" debuts tomorrow. Clue: It's tag line was: "In space no one can hear you scream." Clue 2: Starred Tom Skerritt.[ top billing ] Knew that would give it away. Clue 3: Also starred Sigourney Weaver as Ripley. P.S.S. Believe it or not! 

"Hell-Bent"

Tonight "Alien" is the guest presenter, who is hell-bent on introducing tonite's continuing foray, "Scary Movie Moments." Without further adieu, here's # 3! 

"Born In The U.S.A."

Every disaster movie or horror movie starts out innocently, ergo the picture of Regan and Ellen Burstyn. Safe and secure in their Georgetown abode. Just your every day American family, eh? Going through the trials and tribulations of life. Unfortunately for the couple, their lives are about to turn topsy-turvey.  

"The Exorcist!" Number 3

It's hard to believe that Jack Nicholson was up for the part as Father Karras. Hard to imagine his saying "Here's Johnny;" or "Here's Satan;" or "Here's Lucifer," etc. Eventually the role of Karras went to Jason Miller. Who?

It was this background [ the infamous still for the movie ] that attracted Exorcist director William Friedkin to the idea of casting Miller in the role of Father Karras, following seeing the actor in the Broadway production of the Miller-penned play That Championship Season.
"My picture's in the program and there's a whole lot of stuff about Jesuit schools in Championship Season and he had a hunch," Miller recalled. "He said 'Do you want to go on a screen test?' I thought I was dreaming. I went out and did a screen test and the rest is history."

Miller faced some stiff competition for the role. Warner Brothers, the studio bankrolling the film, was pushing for an actor with star power for the role. Jack Nicholson and Ryan O'Neill had already tested for the role of Father Karras. But the fact that Miller wasn't a big film star ultimately played to his advantage.
 

"Apollo 13"

"Houston! We've got a problem." Part I. 

"Apollo 13 Revisited"

"Houston." We've got a problem, Part II." 

"Melodic, eh?"

Lullabye your baby with a "Dixie" melody, eh? 

"Rated 'R' for 'Rowdy'"

It's getting rowdy at the homestead. 

"360"

Regan is a bit peeved in this photo. And her head is about to do a 360. "Scary Movie Moment!" from # 3, "The Exorcist!" 

"Tubular [ Hell's ] Bells"

Peas porridge hot; peas porridge cold. I must admit that I never saw this movie upon its initial release. I do recall friends who were traumatized by it. In deep funks if you will. By viewing the pictures and the music from Mike Oldfield [ "Tubular Bells" ] it is easy to see why. 

"Desmond Has A Barrow In The Marketplace; Molly Is A Singer In A Band."

The End. Father Karras dies, Regan has recovered, and life goes on...bra. La la how the life goes on! Apologies to Paul Mac and Fab 3.  

"Hello. My name is Norman Bates. I am the proprietor of the Bates Motel. One of my hobbies is taxodermy. My job tonite, though, is introducing the # 4 'Scary Movie Moment' in filmdom history. I just happen to be in all the scary portions. Well, me and me mum, that is. My mother is my best friend. I'm rambling. Enough about me and me mater, here's # 4 and 'Psycho.'" 

# 4: "Psycho!"

There's not much left to say about "Psycho." It has been well-chronicled in an earlier foray On Golden Pond. One aspect we didn't touch on, and that is the music. Written and performed by Bernard Herrman, who was blitzed in the Academy Awards Nominations circa 1960. "Psycho" was so different from anything that had gone before, the viewing public and the Academy were perhaps in shock.  

"Ooh That Smell" Apologies to Lynard

I saw this movie with Olga and one of her friends at the Bijou. She and her buddy both had a strong sense of smell and deduced an odor emanating from someone's armpits. Who do you think they deduced as being the guilty party. None other than yours truly. After Marion had taken her shower, Olga leaned over in my direction and whispered "keep your arms folded" during the rest of the movie. Dutifully informed, and because I was seven years her junior, I complied. A few minutes later the smell wafted our way again. It wasn't me with my arms folded snugly, so it had to be someone else. The perpetrator was singled out amongst the crowd, and I was allowed to unfold my armpits and watch the movie in peace. The young whiskersnapper had been vindicated. 

"Number '5' Texas Chainsaw Massacre"

Faster than a speeding bullet, Superman intros tonite's foray in the series, "100 Scary Movie Moments." P.S. And, who, disguised as a mild-mannered reporter for a large metropolitan newspaper, fights for truth, justice, and the American way. 

Based loosely on a true story circa 1950's, imho, the entire movie should be granted its own special category. It is not a film to watch over and over. Once is enough. Cannibalism ain't my cup of tea. Even tho "Texas 4" starred the delightful Renee Zellweger. 

Director: Tobe Hooper

The film was an independent foray and was shot in 16mm. The cinematography is excellent. ( the above photo is from the sequel, circa 2003-did not see it nor wanted to ) And was directed by Tobe Hooper. One of THE most bizarre films this reviewer has ever seen. The sequel was macabre as well. The scenes with "dueling chainsaws" were over the edge.  

"Leatherface"

"How would you like to meet this hombre on the plains of a small town in Texas? The character is based loosely on Ed Gein, who also inspired the characters, Norman Bates and Buffalo Bill.....Did the real Ed Gein ever wear a human's face as a mask like Leatherface did in the film?
The real Ed Gein did wear a human's scalp and face. The real Ed Gein did this however, to help quell his desire to be a woman, not because of a skin disease as with Leatherface in the film. Also included in his uniform, Ed Gein wore a vest of skin complete with breasts and female genitalia strapped above his own.


 

"Trailer"

"Another shot of Leatherface." 

# 6: "The Shining!" "Scary Movie Moments!"

Tonite's Mystery Guest who will introduce tonite's movie, "The Shining," is "The Wasp Woman." A beautiful woman by day, a lusting queen wasp by night.  

"Business As Usual"

As with any movie the beginning is safe. Our three travellers on their way to their hotel retreat during a fierce winter. Cabin fever anyone?