GOLDEN POND

"Happy Birthday Bob"

2012-01-27T01:29:00.001-05:00

Today is Bogus Bob's birthday. Coined by him.

My Aunt Mad saved him from drowning when he was 5 and I was 4.

We had fun playing on a tree at Mundy's Lake.

We used to have fights as kids, but then we would make up and become best friends again. He was good at throwing rocks, while I used my brawn.

We used to have fights as teens, but then we would make up and become best friends again.

He joined the Navy.

He came home.

We had tumultuous card games. Poker, acey deucey and guts.

We drank at the card games. We used to have fights at the card game, but then we would make up and become best friends again.

He is now 61. I am 60. We don't fight any more. Maybe we grew up a bit. Or maybe we both quit drinking.

Happy Birthday, Bob, my childhood chum. Coined by him!

"Borders Books"

2012-01-26T20:16:00.000-05:00

"Olive Garden Seeks to Boost Sagging Sales With Company Makeover"

2012-01-25T22:06:00.002-05:00

Another restaurant having problems. I love the comments from the readers.

Olive Garden has a lock on the “affordable Italian food” market. Or does it? Despite its popularity and 750 restaurants across the country, the chain has lost much of its metaphorical spice in recent years.

A buzzy article from the Chicago Tribune goes into the details. There are several problems the chain is struggling to address. The chain has posted disappointing sales figures for five quarters in a row.

The readers respond:

1) cause i figured out i can make shrimp alfredo at home for 4 people for the same price as one plate at OG.

2) how about food that doesn't start off pre packaged in a walk in freezer? call me crazy, but i like fresh ingredients, not hamburger helper a la italia.

3) lower your prices

4) Nobody wants to eat frozen, microwaved food at restaurants anymore?

5) Stop serving soup from 5 gallon buckets and salty sauce from frozen bags!! Get some wine that is at least drinkable and stop charging $15 dollars for 50 cents worth of bland pasta that could be found better at the local mall! It's a start!

6) I once went to my local OG and had short ribs. It was so good that for my birthday I went back with my family and ordered the same dish. It was burnt and the chef came out and told me that is how it supposed to be. What he didn't know is that I graduated from one of the best chef schools in the country. I never went back and will never go back.

Yep!

P.S. I like this one but don't know how she got involved:

First Lady Michelle Obama praised Darden in September for the restaurant's planned changes to its children’s menu. Obama said, “I believe the changes that Darden will make could impact the health and well-being of an entire generation of young people.”

"Buffets Restaurants seeks bankruptcy protection"

2012-01-25T21:53:00.001-05:00

What goes around comes around, eh? Who would have thunk it?

EAGEN, Del. (AP) — Buffets Restaurants Holdings Inc. has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection for a second time and plans to shut 81 underperforming restaurants as it tries to cope with its debt.

The company, based in Eagan, Minn., operates 494 restaurants in 38 states under names such as Old Country Buffet, HomeTown Buffet, Ryan's and Tahoe Joe's Famous Steakhouse restaurant.

I remember Old Country putting the squeeze on my old employer, which will go unnamed. There is karma in this world. Ask Blockbuster who put all of the mom and pop places out of business. A friend lamented to me the other day that she missed going to Blockbuster. It was fun; it was an event; it was a ritual. You picked out your movies, and you could buy candy and popcorn and drinks, just like at the movies."Make it a Blockbuster Night!"

It makes sense to me now. I was at an Old Country Buffet last week. I got my iced tea and paid the tab and took my tray to the dining room. I stood and waited for the server to bring me my plates, normally 2 or 3 as is the usual custom.

No server came and finally I flagged one down. Can I get my plates?

She showed me where they were, a mountainous display in the middle of the dining room. "You haven't been here in a while, have you?" she asked.

"Nope."

We changed the setup 9 months ago. It was Corporate's idea!" Not sure if she smirked or rolled her eyes, but it makes sense now. When it's broke, they try to fix it. And because I can get unlimited plates myself without waiting on the server, I will now flock to the nearest OCB at every opportunity. Even go out of my way and make it a destination point.

Yep. Karma.

"Harold and Maude"

2012-01-24T13:27:00.000-05:00

Harold and Maude was an example of the new wave cinema taking hold in the late 60's and zooming into the 70's. Haven't seen it in years. Strange tale. With a macabre ending. I was accustomed to films like "Kisses for My President" in glorious black and white growing up as a youngster. When movies such as "Mash"; "The Last Picture Show"; "Joe"; and "Easy Rider" hit the big screen, I knew I wasn't in Kansas any more.

"Dear Ngudu"

2012-01-23T17:49:00.002-05:00

Dear Ngudu, Hope your doing well since our last communique. Have you gotten a cell phone? Smart phones are big over here. I have a dumb phone. It harkens back to the medieval days, and, frankly, I'm afraid to pull mine out in public. Embarrassed. lol. That means laugh out loud. Remember that for later.

I see people texting and playing games and pulling up emails on their smartphones, and my phone is a relic soon to be displayed at the Smithsonian Institute. I don't really need a fancy phone. I just turned sixty so there's no need. Cheese and crackers! Seems like only yesterday I was a young lad of six like yourself. Doing fun things like young boys do.

Smoking cigarettes in the plum orchard with my boyhood chum, Bobby Craig. who was 10 and I was 9. What were we thinking? Our smoke of choice was Viceroy which we bought at Harold's Barbecue, a landmark in Atlanta. Not sure they sell barbecue in Tanzania, but one of my favorite dishes is brunswick stew. It's hard to find a good one these days-the best I ever had was from Old Hickory. But when they served me some brown cole slaw on one visit, I probably knew their days were numbered. And they were.

Sorry I got sidetracked, Nguda. Me and Bobby began our smoking careers pinching Chesterfield Kings from his dad. We were just beginners, so we gravitated from the non filters to the Viceroys, a filter cigarette.We were similar to our former President Bill Clinton; we smoked but did not inhale.

It wasn't until Bobby's sister, Charlene, who was sent on a reconnaissance mission to out us that our smoking dissipated just as our smoke rings did. Into thin air. I received a switching for my misdeeds, while Bobby was forced to smoke a pack of cigarettes in one short sitting. It was a few years before I smoked another.

What do you do for fun, Ngudu? Perhaps an eventful day for you is scaling Kilimanjaro or riding zebras on the plains or tagging along on a safari.Or perhaps you and your friends have set traps or greased vines in order to catch Tarzan, King of the Apes. He's a wily fellow so approach him with extreme caution. And be wary of Cheetah, his chimpanzee sidekick.

Speaking of animals, Ngudu, "Keep Newt in the row" is an old southern expression that I've heard for years. It must have been important to keep the mule in the row whilst farming. There is a famous Newt in our country who is running for President. ( I mentioned him in my letter last week ). Some folks in our country probably don't want to keep this Newt in the row. In fact they want him to veer far into the ditch....and stay there.

Give Sister of Mercy a hug for me; keep Newt in the road; lay off the smoking; and have fun! I can almost see you galloping with gazelles.

Your foster dad, Cat. Umgawa!

"Potpurri"

2012-01-21T19:18:00.000-05:00

Seems the Jeopardy on-line testing has hit a dead end. No hits today from people wanting to know the answers.

Here's a few in case anyone's interested:

1) It was Red Skelton who closed his weekly variety show with "And may God bless." I remember some students at Rowdy High, where I matriculated magna cum rowdy, pronounced his name Red Skeleton.

2) And it was Slim Whiman who yodeled himself to fame on TBS Channel 17 back in the day. Side note which was not on the test: Andy Mesersmith was one of two baseball's first free agents. His number: 17. And the contract was inked thanks to Ted "Montana Grill" Turner, long before his soiree with Jane.

P.S. Ravens over the Pats. And San Fran over da Giants.

Peace and love

"Dear Ngudu Returns"

2012-01-20T01:18:00.000-05:00

Dear Ngudu, Your foster dad here. Or should I say ex foster dad, because I haven't sent my monthly installments to you in quite a long time. Hope your doing well. Sorry for the spelling of you're as your. Hope you understand. It's the text message phenomena that's taken over since my last correspondence. Yer is okay too, but I have an old fashioned cell phone, and it doesn't recognize slang words. Your Uncle Hoots is perhaps the only man in this country who doesn't own one.

When you get your own phone and begin texting you can save time by using anagrams. Maybe that's too big of a word for you, so I will give examples that will help. "OMG" is short for oh, my god. You use this when yer surprised by what the other person texts you. Like when my friend sent me one today and said Rick Perry had dropped out of the presidential race, I shot back with "OMG!"

It's not polite or proper etiquette to use all capital letters, but I couldn't help it today when I received another text informing me that Newt Gingrich's ex wife is saying some horrible things about him. He wanted an open marriage.

"OMG!" ( notice the cap letters and exclamation point! ) was my reply.

Another good text abbreviation is TMI. When my mother, your foster grandmother, fills me in with her daily regimen: a teaspoon of Miralax in her coffee in the morning; three prunes at bedtime, and a stool softener suppository where the sun don't shine in order to maintain regularity, my immediate response is TMI. ( Too Much Information! If I were a woman it is also trendy to utter EWWW!! as well.

Well, the crap is hitting the fan, Ngudu. We're in a presidential election year over here in the U.S. It's a long way from Tanzania, I know, but surely you've read about it in the Tanzania Gazette or Journal. The Republican hopefuls are having debates in order to win primaries.They want to become the commander-in-chief. One in particular is a man that goes by the name of Herman Cain. He, however, is now yesterday's news. He was the CEO ( not a text anagram ) of Godfather's Pizza back in the day. Some female co-workers came out of the closet and accused Herman of hanky panky. Because your young we'll leave it at that. TMI!

Hopefully you will visit me one day on the Pond, Ngudu. Unfortunately, I have some bad news for you. If we meet up in San Francisco, I will not be able to purchase a McDonald's Happy Meal for you. Entree, fries, drink and a TOY! From Vietnam. Or China. Your neck of the woods. Even if you substitute the fries with sliced apples and replace the coke with fruit juice, it is against the law for the Happy Place to sell a Happy Meal to you.I would hate to see the two of us handcuffed and carted off to jail, just because you want to savor Americana in its finest form.The law makers decided that the Happy Meal made kids obese ( a polite way of saying your fat ), and that it reeked of cholesterol.

In a similar vein, OMG! a woman today in Georgia ( not the Russian one your familiar with ) was arrested for allowing her 10 year old son to get a tattoo. The tats parlor is in trouble too. No one under 18 can get a tattoo even with their parents' consent

Well, Ngudu. I've bounced from subject to subject. Hope I didn't bore you. Here's hoping you have a phone-or will get one soon-so we can text each other. It's hard work composing these letters, and a text is quite easier. OMG or TMI and voila there's an instant communique.

Give Sister of Mercy a big hug, your foster dad Cat.

"Jeopardy On-Line Test"

2012-01-19T01:46:00.000-05:00

I have gotten many hits from folks wanting to know the answers to the online Jeopardy test that yours truly took Tuesday night.

Because I like the hits-more guests-I have decided to give out more answers.

1) Sky King's daughter's name was Penny.

2) It was Strother Martin who was the murderer in last night's Perry Mason. He did not say: "what we have here is a failure to communicate." He simply fessed up when Perry applied the screws.

3) It wasn't Col. Mustard in the observatory, but Raven Shams, my sister from the city by the bay.

4) Andy Williams, not Andy Rooney, was a huckleberry friend.

5) Peter Pan is Larry Hagman's mother.

6) "Fury" starred Fury and Peter Graves and Bobby Diamond as the horse. Make that Fury was the horse. Bobby Diamond played his caregiver. Pete was the crusty old timer.

7) "I'm a coming, Wild Bill" was uttered by Andy Devine in the opening credits to "Wild Bill Hickock," tv series from the 50's.

8) It was Richard "Jaws" Kiel who played the alien from another planet in the infamous "To Serve Man" Twilight Zone episode. Bonus: To serve man was a cookbook, and to think the silly earthlings thought the aliens came in peace.

9) "Gawldangit Pepino" was uttered by Grandpappy Amos ( Walter Brennan ) in the "Real McCoys to Pepino, the hispanic handyman. A forerunner to the Bev Hillbillies. And now you know where the term "vast wasteland" originated. ( cue canned laughter )

10) And it was Irene Ryan as Granny who said "Winstons taste good like a cigarette had oughta," while she was hawking the tobacco product via the prime time airways.

11) And it was v.c. who penned this episode into the infantile. Please tune in for more Jeopardy questions and answers tomorrow and the next day....

P.S. The real questions and answers were discussed in another post a couple of days ago.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIufLRpJYnI

"Signs the Apocalypse is Near"

2012-01-19T01:23:00.001-05:00

"Gingivitis-Eww!"

2012-01-18T16:10:00.000-05:00

I posted this in 2006. Encore presentation, eh? I was looking for a cornbread recipe for my sis, and it pulled this one out. Pun not intended.

I was attempting to respond to a Doc Searls foray in which the poor man as a child had to endure dentistry sans novacaine. OUCH! No wonder we're all loonier than loons.
Here is my comment:

I've already written this once but didn't save it-too much porn viewing, I guess, but here goes again.

Dr. Hardnut used to drill on my teeth, circa 1960. Each cavity cost $5.00 each as in "five" golden rings.

My Aunt Mad was deathly afraid of dentists. Perhaps she had close encounters of the third kind allah Doc Searls.

Her teeth were ravaged by gingivitis- each one loose and in the last stages of decay.
However, it never stopped her from indulging in chicken and dumplings-her favorite meal-or cornbread submerged in buttermilk.

Today a cavity costs $600.00 which doesn't include the cleaning and repartee from the tooth cleaner. Talk about inflation, eh?

My new dentist sings along to the Muzac while he's examining every nook and cranny in the recesses of yer mouth. I call him the singing dentist. And he knows the words to every pop recording ever made.

Moral of the story: Floss and brush your teeth every day. Have regular cleanings ( 6 months recommended ) and if you are tempted to go go "back to the future" have all your dental work up to date ( pun intention? ) before proceeding.

2012-01-17T21:16:00.000-05:00

"Jeopardy On-Line test"

2012-01-17T20:44:00.002-05:00

I took the test tonight, so I can become the next Ken Jennings. Who won a couple of million dollars and became somewhat of a household name.

There were 50 questions. And you had 15 seconds for each answer.

They were tough.

I did know some. Yes, I did.

I knew Robert Plant, John Paul Jones and Jimmy Page were Led Zepplin, who reunited in 2007.

I knew Pearl Harbor Day is celebrated on December 7th.

I knew Jimmy Stewart played a wheelchair-bound photographer in Hitchcock's "Rear Window."

But my Shakespere is lousy. I don't even know how to spell his name. Shakespeare. There! Thank you spellcheck.

I didn't know the capital of Turkey. Gibletssansibar is probably incorrect.

And my knowledge of current tv shows is null and void. Ask me about "Father Knows Best;" "Gilligan's Island;" or "Sky King," and I'd be good to go. Alas, it wasn't meant to be. Or "Fury" with Bobby Diamond.

I just want to say it one time. "Let's make it a true daily double, Alex!"

"Friday the 13th"

2012-01-13T18:45:00.003-05:00

Today is Friday the 13th. I didn't know it was coming this month, but Comcast did. They have the Jason Voorhees series 1-8 on their free movies. I have watched III, IV, V, and VI.

Betsy Palmer played Mrs. Voorhees in I and II. And Kevin Bacon starred in numero uno. I knew of Betsy from "To Tell the Truth." Is it bigger than a breadbox, the, uh, thing you do?

Restaurant owner getting international attention after blasting woman after bad Yelp review

2012-01-13T11:51:00.001-05:00

An Atlanta restaurant has become internationally famous for the owner's bad taste when a customer wrote a bad review.

The owner of the barbecue restaurant near Turner Field lashed out with an online response that's bitten back a thousand times.

A little more than a mile away from her house, Stephanie Stuck took her husband to Boners Barbecue.

"Because it's a local business and it's in our neighborhood," Stuck said.

She wasn't thrilled with the place and wrote a review on Yelp!

The owner of Boners lifted her picture and attached it to his response.

"And he went off on me," Stuck said.

"The owner posted a response on social media to other restaurant owners saying "If you see this woman in your restaurant, tell her to go outside and (expletive) herself. Yelp that, (expletive)."

Bloggers and tweeters picked it up and it went viral. Stuck showed Channel 2's Jeff Dore the tweets about it from around the world.

http://bcove.me/396nqxsa

"It's just keeps going and going and it keeps going further than that, just about this," Stuck said showing Dore all the responses she's been getting since posting her review.

It's been on Huffington Post and online lists about the worst use of social media.

"I feel bad for the guy honestly. It's a small business and he's trying really hard. It's his passion," Stuck said.

Just before news time a spokesman for the owner called us, quoting him as saying he used bad judgment and if he could take it back he would. He also apologized on Facebook, but Stuck would have to friend him to see it and so far, she has not.

"Facebook, the Social Network"

2012-01-13T01:05:00.003-05:00

My old buddy, Hoots, is alive and well and posting on Facebook. He is a big Twitter kind of guy as well. He posted a video on FB today about a man-just like you and me-and the annoyances he faces in a typical day.

From the kid on a skateboard he almost runs over while backing out of his driveway to waiting in line at a coffee shop and experiencing less than adequate customer service. Just a tip of the iceberg.

Suddenly from out of nowhere, a strange galoot of a man gives him a different set of glasses to peer through. He then realizes that the people annoying him are having their own inner struggles.

One needs a hug; one is co-dependent; one is shy; one fears rejection-well, you get the drift.

Of course, I responded and told Hoots that I needed a hug after viewing, and that I needed a dry handkerchief.

Typical Hoots and typical me. Another of his "I report; you decide."

I like Facebook. And I like how you can reach people you haven't seen in years. And I like playing the games. But FB is mainly for females.

Examples from women posting there:

1) For dinner we are having country fried steak with cream gravy, blackeye peas, collards, and biscuits. What are you having?

2) My heart is touched today, because the hills are alive with the sound of music. I can almost hear the bells ringing in the dell.

3) It is so hot today. I hate hot weather. I hate cold weather too. I hate all kinds of weather. My favorite weather is 70 degrees. I hate shoveling snow. Brrr. It's so cold. What I wouldn't give to live in Florida. But they have bugs and alligators and crocodiles and hurricanes....

4) I just settled down with a good book and a cup of peppermint aloe tea. I wish my friends could be here to talk. We could squirt perfume on each other. What fun!!

5) Who hasn't flossed their teeth today.? Be sure and eat your fruits and vegetables.

6) Today is over the hump day. I wish it was Friday. Cos Saturday I'm going shopping with the girls. We're gonna squirt perfume, try on dresses, and buy designer handbags. We are giggly with excitement.

7) I'm tired! I worked hard all day. If Siegfried thinks I'm cooking tonight, he's crazy. It's peanut butter and jelly sandwiches time.Perhaps a drizzle of perfume on my wrist will make me feel better. And a warm bubble bath with a glass of wine.

8) I love me a bubble bath. When the bubbles escape from the water they remind me of life. Each bubble has its own shape and trajectory. A different path if you will.

9) I think when the moon is in the Seventh House. And Jupiter aligns with Mars.Then peace will guide the planets. And love will steer the stars. My sign is Aquarius. Aquarians love a good herbal tea and perfume. Woo hoo!

10) I saw a deer in my backyard. The squirrels and chipmunks greeted him. His name is Bambi. That's what I call him anyway. I wanted to invite him in to drink some Kasbah tea, but I couldn't. Deer don't drink herbal tea! XXOO

Facebook for women? I report; you decide!

"Texas Pop Festival"

2012-01-10T01:43:00.000-05:00

Look at the bands that played 1969-08-31 - Lewisville, Texas. Makes Woodstock look like a Franki Valli concert.

Led Zep; Chicago; Ten Years After; BB King; Janis Joplin; Santana; et al. Well, maybe it was Woodstock II. A few days after the historic concert at Yasgur's farm.

Another version of "South California Purples" to follow-my favorite CTA tune. I am you are he as you are me and we are all together. Goo goo ga joob.

P.S. Were you there Rock?

P.S.S. I saw an old Perry Mason the other night-my favorite tv show of All Time-took place in Midland, Texas. Oil country, eh?

"Texas International Pop Festival"

2012-01-10T01:31:00.000-05:00

2012-01-10T01:19:00.000-05:00

"Go Tebow"

2012-01-10T01:16:00.000-05:00

Tonight's game was a dud. Big yawn. I do know the folks in N'awlins and Baton Rouge ain't too happy. My old associate manager, one cajunballsauvin, is probably having a sleepless night, because LSBooHoo lost the game. I have not talked to him in over a year, but he is crying in his yuengling tonight.

Not sure where they dined before the game, or if perhaps it was the long layoff, but the Tigers were flat. But then maybe the Tide had something to do with it.

I did like the Bear back in the day. But I do not like Lou Saban. He got his pantiesinnawad late in the game-with victory assured-when Alabama jumped offsides ( their first penalty ).

He began berating his players for the miscue. He was a few minutes away from winning the mythical National Championship, and he was still a hard ass.

I liked how Brent Musberger backtracked when he said that Saban may make the Tide fans forget the Bear. No chance!

The game was ho-hum. Why is the game played so late in January? Television and money, eh? Give me Tim Tebow winning in overtime any day of the week and twice on Sunday. The NFL is more exciting and unpredictable. Except for the refs factor.

They screwed the Lions Saturday night. On a Drew Brees fumble, which should have given the Lions a 21-7 lead, and the generous first down awarded???? them early in the third quarter while backed up in their own territory If that was a first down then my name is Jerry Clower or Huey Long or Billy Cannon or Billy Joke Tolliver.

Anyway, I can't wait for this weekend's games. And it's been a long time since I couldn't get excited about the bowl games.LSBoohoo!

P.S. Go Tebow!

'The Artist' Director Michel Hazanavicius's Five Favorite Hollywood Films

2012-01-08T20:51:00.001-05:00

....So, we asked the director what were his five favorite English-language films. He politely and enthusiastically complied -- but told Yahoo! that if asked again, don't be surprised if he also included "The Godfather," "The Big Lebowski," "Citizen Kane," "The Third Man" or "Raging Bull." in the below but wanted to mention them anyway.

His five are:

1) "The Apartment" ( Great b/w movie from Billy Wilder. Co starred Fred MacMurray as a heel ).

2) "The Night of the Hunter" What a performance from Robert Mitchum. Scared the beejeesus out of me when I was just a kid ).

3) "North by Northwest" ( One of Hitchcock's best ).

4) "To Be or Not to Be" ( Have never seen this one and me a supposed film buff ).

5) "Rio Bravo" ( Somewhat of a surprise, eh?, but the Duke was in a class by himself ).

"Hello Houston"

2012-01-08T10:30:00.000-05:00

Country music was never my bag, but I loved the "Urban Cowboy" soundtrack. Great songs. And a great movie. "Do you two-step?"

2012-01-08T01:18:00.000-05:00

2012-01-06T18:38:00.000-05:00

"Good Whiskey Never Lets You Lose Your Place" or The Restaurant Biz: One Flew Over the Looney Bin"

2012-01-05T21:36:00.000-05:00

I ran across this one by accident. An old post of mine.

A few years ago I had a quick stay in the looney bin. Took some vacation time so no one would know. Briggs, my boss, called my first day back. He was on my ass for something already, and I hadn’t been in the door 5 minutes.

He did ask about my vacation.

I told him the fishing was great and that I had resumed surfing, a passion of mine back in the day. “Gotta make that one last ride,” I told him.

Briggs said goodbye and I tried to concentrate on my work. But my mind kept drifting back to my stay in the looney bin. Modern technology is great. The guys in my group ( bin ) were nice. Most were ex restaurant mgrs., some fast food and some from the corral. One group member was an Indian, who went by the name of Cherokee Fiddle. In our focus group, he kept singing “good whiskey never lets you lose your place.”

I made a mental note to remember that sage advice on my exit from the bin. If it worked so well, why was he in here?

Anyway, I needed to get moving and take care of business. It was the day after payday. And it’s always rowdy after getting paid. Never know who's gonna show up. Sometimes the team members call, sometimes they don’t. Too bad we don’t close the next day after getting paid. We could get a professional sign made, put ads in the paper and on t.v.

“Due to the lack of participation of our team members after payday, [ our store ] will be closed every Friday.” The guests would miss seafood schizophrenia. And v.c. basa or catfish, depending on your proximity to Louisiana.

Team member Billy did call to say he couldn’t work because the ants in his ant farm had expired. He was seeking grief counseling. He would call back when the psychiatrist released him. I suggested he call Dr. Myeyes. And even gave him the number. And the # to the bin.

Team member Suzy called and said her play 6th cousin was having an unscheduled emergency operation today and couldn’t work. Some kind of ectomy. The play cousin meant a lot to her and Suzy wanted to be there. I gave her Dr. Myeyes # in case there was any grief relief needed. I could relate, having had my own erectomy problems lately. Thank god for the free 6 pack Myeyes gave me.

I don’t know why I continue to recommend Dr. Myeyes. His advice to me on RKN [ Rowdy Kids Nite ] was useless. And his fee is exorbitant.

Things got worse. The fry cook showed up in a foul mood. Myeyes had suggested AA for his predicament. But he stopped at step 2. He plans on returning to the program if he wins the lottery. He keeps getting behind on the fried chicken. I was tempted to retreat to the car where I keep my 44. I had read that somewhere. Maybe it would work.

Then Briggs called again and said I had made the list. While driving to work I had seen a bumper sticker which read, “My son made the principal’s list at Rowdy High.” Another case of the force known as synchronicity. Being on any list would be a good thing.

“Thanks, Briggs,” I said confidently. Earlier he was chewing my ass for some obscure transgression. Now I had made the list.

“You're #1 on my shit list, Charlie.” he said.

“I’m sorry, Briggs. What didn’t I do? Cucumbers cut the wrong size? Mysterious shopper score too low? White pepper not from McCormick? Potatoes from Colorado? Too many unread e- mails?”

“No, Charlie. You’re on the list because I just don’t like you.”

As Briggs was berating away and making me feel bad, I remembered Cherokee’s advice, having brought a bottle from home for this type of emergency. While Briggs was still ranting, I began pouring the first of many shots, chug-a-lugging them as the bottle slowly emptied. The door was closed ( new directive ) and no one could see me.

As Briggs was going on and on and on, I heard a knock at the door. It was Cherokee. He had just left the looney bin. He said leaving Nurse Ratchet was hard but it was time to move on. I returned to the phone and told Briggs that I would work on my shortcomings. ( it was probably the whiskey talking )

It was good to see Cherokee. I felt bad that my bottle was a shot away ( apologies to the Stones,' "Gimme Shelter" ) but old Cherokee had come prepared. He displayed a fifth of whiskey from out of nowhere.

"Good whiskey never lets you lose your place," he said.

End of Part One.

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

"Wal Mart"

2012-01-05T20:53:00.001-05:00

Not sure how accurate these figures are. But here they are. I received the e mail from my Uncle. The rest of the e mail suggests Wal Mart run the country, so we can get out of this malaise. Hmmm! Not sure about that one.

1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart every hour of every day.

2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!

3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March
17th) than Target sells all year.

4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target +Sears + Costco +
K-Mart combined.

5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the world's largest private
employer, and most speak English.

6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.

7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway combined, and keep
in mind they did this in only fifteen years.

8. During this same period, 31 big supermarket chains sought

bankruptcy.

9.. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.

10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super
Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had five years ago.

11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur at
Wal-Mart stores. (Earth's population is approximately 6.5 Billion.)

12. 90% of all Americans live within fifteen miles of a Wal-Mart.

"My Daddy Was a Pistol; And I'm a Son-of-a-Gun"

2012-01-04T16:33:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite books. I connected with it on many levels, as they say these days.

Lewis was born in 1945 and grew up in Moreland, Ga., which is just 20 or so miles from here. Rural small town Georgia. I grew up in the heart of Atlanta, but the stories he recounts are similar to mine.

Lewis' dad was an alcoholic and could never "get himself straightened out." My dad was no alcoholic to my knowledge, and left the North Forty when I was young, similar to Lewis' dad.Lewis' dad was a Captain in the army and was a prisoner of war in Korea. He also served in World War II. My dad was in charge of the spuds on a ship of some sort during WWII. Not sure if he graduated above Seaman. Or saw combat.

His parents divorced. Mine divorced. Both remarried. We both resented our stepdads.Lewis' father died at an early age. ( 56 ) My dad lived to be just shy of 80.

I love this book. I appreciate the humor. The wonderful stories of growing up.

Like the first time Lewis "lit up" in front of his dad:"Dad, I smoke." The two of them were en route to the hospital to see Lewis' wife, who was suffering with gastritis.

"Well, son, if you're old enough to be married, I guess you're old enough to smoke."

2012-01-03T20:23:00.000-05:00

"Vanilla Fudge" and "Sheeyet Far!"

2012-01-03T20:20:00.000-05:00

My Picasa, which allows me to post pix, is going awry. My posting mechanism is screwed up too. I just finished writing something for the blog, and it disappeared. Without saving.it.

"Sheeyet Far." Credited to a female character in Lewis Grizzards' "My Daddy was a Pistol, and I'm a Son-of-a-Gun." One of my favorite books but that's another story.

My story that disappeared into the nether regions of space dealt with the Vanilla Fudge, who I saw in concert in the late 60's. ( Guess it should read "whom I saw" but that's a bit prissy, eh? )

Bands in those days had names like the "Strawberry Alarm Clock"; "Canned Heat"; and the "Electric Prunes."

What a shock to my parents' generation who grew up listening to Sinatra, Lombardo and Bing Crosby. The World War II Generation had songs with intelligible words and love ballads with romantic themes. "How Much is that Doggie in the Window" and "Que Sera Sera" were replaced with "Goddamn the Pusher Man"; "I Had Too Much to Dream Last Night"; and "Eight Miles High."

The Fudge looked like young preppie adults on their first album cover, but by the time I saw them, they had progressed to hippie status full-blown.

"Love and Marriage" had been replaced with "Hey, Joe where you going with that gun in your hand!"

Orca attacks shark in surf zone as beachgoers watch in awe

2012-01-03T17:10:00.001-05:00

Orcas, more than sharks, are atop the marine food chain, and that became strikingly apparent this week at Blue Cliffs Beach off New Zealand, where at least one orca mounted a prolonged assaulted on sharks in the surf zone, as witnesses watched in amazement (see video).

"New Years Resolutions"

2012-01-01T18:03:00.000-05:00

It's that time of the year again. New Years Resolutions. It needs no introduction, because we, as denizens of this world, have all made 'em. We have had successes, and, alas, we have had our failures. So without further adieu, here are some I've overheard and some I know of firsthand.

1) Ruby, my mom, wants to continue having good b.m.'s. Bowel movements for the uninformed. Did George Carlin ever weigh in on that universal saying: "take a crap." Take a crap where? Where do you want me to take my crap? Etc.

2) Buddy A little impish dog I know who has vowed not to dig holes in the backyard. And under the fence, so he can make his getaway. It's his rebellious but adventurous side, but he has come to realize that dangers lurk afoot. Automobiles, golf carts, and wild animals.

3) Cat ( yours truly ), pledges to write more forays into the infantile. Exercise more. And lose weight. Since my trip to San Fran, this writer from Ga. has lost 15-20 lbs. Depending on which way the wind blows and other variables.

Because my publishing deadline is at hand-I'm curious to see if the Tebow train is getting ready for derailment-this foray into the infantile is kaput, fini'.

Happy New Year!!!

"Constipated? Need a Good B.M."

2011-12-31T18:50:00.002-05:00

"First Person: From $8.10 An Hour to $36,000 a Year"

2011-12-30T18:27:00.004-05:00

When I graduated from college in 2004, I couldn't find a job in my degree field so I went back through my resume and looked at all the companies I had worked for during college. One of them was Walmart, so I applied at a Walmart store in my area. To my surprise and relief they called me back. They had an open position as an overnight stocker that paid $8.10 an hour. I accepted. I needed the money, and after sending out 50 resumes in 30 days, I was pretty sure this was going to be my only offer....

"Did Cheetah from 1930s Tarzan flicks die?"

2011-12-29T11:58:00.001-05:00

PALM HARBOR, Fla. — A Florida animal sanctuary says Cheetah, the chimpanzee sidekick in the Tarzan movies of the early 1930s, has died at 80. But other accounts call that claim into question.Debbie Cobb, outreach director at the Suncoast Primate Sanctuary in Palm Harbor, said Wednesday that her grandparents acquired Cheetah around 1960 from "Tarzan" star Johnny Weissmuller and that the chimp appeared in Tarzan films between 1932 and 1934. During that period, Weissmuller made "Tarzan the Ape Man" and "Tarzan and His Mate."But Cobb offered no documentation, saying it was destroyed in a 1995 fire.....

At the animal sanctuary, Cheetah was outgoing, loved finger painting and liked to see people laugh, Cobb said. But he could also be ill-tempered. Cobb said that when the chimp didn't like what was going on, he would fling feces and other objects.

"Sixty in Dixie"

2011-12-27T15:01:00.000-05:00

I turned 60 yesterday, the day after Christmas. Frightening, eh?

Turning 30 bothered me, because it seemed like the carefree days of no responsibilities were over. 40 wasn't too bad, and fifty seemed like a normal progression.

But turning 60 is a whole 'nother ball game.

My mother is 86, and a good day for her is having a good b.m. Which stands for bowel movement. Ewwww. And her daily highlights consist of watching a good show on PBS with Hercule Poirot or Doc Martin, or another exciting courtroom drama with Perry Mason, circa late 50's and early sixties.

She's got her 3 prunes to take at bedtime. And something to put in her coffee in the morning to insure the colon gets its exercise. Another ewww.

When I take her to the doctor....s I see the infirmed gathered in the waiting room. Most of them move slowly even with the aid of a cane or walker. Blessed I am not to be in that predicament....yet.

My birthday was great, however, even if it meant turning the big 6 0. My friends called, and I heard from my sis and her daughter. And my mom wished me a good b.m. And many many more.

If every day was your birthday, the world would be a nicer place to live.

So I'm sixty in Dixie.

No longer lickety-splitsy at sixty.

Soon to be rickety at sixty.

Watching old shows of Bill Bixby after sixty.

What the hell. Nixty to 60.

Peace and out. And may all your b.m.'s be good ones!

Ewww!

"The 10 Best Classic Christmas Movies; New Poll Reveals Holiday Favorites "

2011-12-25T18:10:00.014-05:00

Here are the 10 greatest Christmas movies according to Radio Times. (You can see the full list of 50 classic Christmas movies here.)

It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) 17.83%
The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) 10.19%
Love Actually (2003) 7.57%
Elf (2003) 5.94%
Home Alone (1990) 5.73%
Miracle on 34th Street (1994) 4.92%
White Christmas (1954) 4.21%
Die Hard (1988) 4.1%
Scrooge (1951) 3.68%
Santa Claus (1985) 3.18%

"Merry Christmas"

2011-12-24T17:42:00.002-05:00

"Silkwood"

2011-12-23T01:33:00.001-05:00

"Unclaimed $77M Powerball ticket set to expire"

2011-12-22T20:44:00.000-05:00

ATLANTA —Someone will be out $77 million if they do not claim their winning Powerball ticket purchased in Georgia.

According to the Georgia Lottery, the Powerball ticket was sold at the Pilot Travel Center on Georgia Highway 100 in Tallapoosa on June 29.

The winning ticket, bearing the numbers 24-30-45-57-59 and Powerball No. 26, must be claimed within 180 days, putting the deadline at Dec. 26.

The Georgia Lottery headquarters will be closed Friday through Monday, but the owner of the ticket can claim their prize at the Georgia Lottery kiosks at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport.

The current Powerball jackpot is at $104 million. Mega millions has reached $173 million.

If the prize goes unclaimed, the Georgia Lottery said the funds will be returned proportionately to each participating state based on the state's sales for that drawing

"25 or 6 to 4"

2011-12-22T01:18:00.002-05:00

This is from a Chicago concert in 1969 at the Fillmore West. Wow!

Listen to more Chicago Transit Authority at Wolfgang's Vault.

"The Hobbit"

2011-12-22T00:59:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite books as a teenager. My sis turned me onto it. I never liked the fact that Bilbo was not part of the fellowship that followed.

P.S. The movie will be out next December.

"SNL: Jesus visits Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos"

2011-12-21T15:38:00.000-05:00

Tim Tebow skit on SNL.

"FedEx Guy Throwing My Computer Monitor"

2011-12-20T21:08:00.000-05:00

The video has gone viral.

When I worked at the airport, bar glasses shipped via FedX would be 20-30% broken.

I wonder how they stay in business.

This guy will undoubtedly be fired. And should be.

"Jingle Bell Rock"

2011-12-19T23:21:00.000-05:00

Another Christmas classic-this one from 1957 just like Elvis' "Santa Bring My Baby Back to Me."

We had this one on a 45 when I was just a youngster.

"Santa Bring My Baby Back to Me!"

2011-12-17T15:27:00.002-05:00

For some reason I have had troubles posting this video. Maybe the King is trying to get in touch with me via the netherworld.

Anyway the song was recorded in 1957, and I remember the catfish clan had it on a 45. That's rpm's. Sure beat the brittle 78's.

P.S. How many more shopping days before Christmas?

P.S.S. Once again, trouble. Forgot to paste the song. Elvis? Are you there?

"Herman Cain?"

2011-12-14T19:49:00.001-05:00

Now that Herman's outta the race, do I vote for Romney or Gingrich?

"Diamonds Are Forever"

2011-12-08T13:57:00.001-05:00

"Gay Divorcee"

2011-12-08T13:48:00.009-05:00

Parents Outraged Over Teacher Removing Word ‘Gay’ from ‘Deck the Halls’

Christmas carols help us get in the mood to celebrate the holidays. But would they have the same meaning if we changed a few words? Parents of students at an elementary school in Michigan say, "No." A music teacher at Cherry Knoll Elementary School in Traverse City decided to change the word "gay" to "bright" in "Deck the Halls" for the children's Christmas concert. Her reasoning for the switch? First- and second-graders would not stop giggling when they sang the word "gay." Several parents were so upset about the change they went to the school's Facebook page to express their opinions. One parent said, "By taking the word 'gay' out of 'Deck the Halls,' you are making it a big deal. One word can have different meanings." Another parent voiced, "Can one word in a 150-year-old classic Christmas carol really offend someone?" The negative comments have since been deleted from the school's Facebook page, and wall posts have been disabled. Cherry Knoll Principal Chris Parker is on the parents' side, saying, "This would have been a great opportunity to teach that 'gay' has more than one meaning and is not a bad word." In response to the controversy over the word change, the original lyrics have now been changed back....

Jobless in Iowa: a third of the state’s unemployed have been looking for work for six months or more

2011-12-08T02:01:00.001-05:00

DES MOINES--Colette Noble's kids used to tell her, "You'll never lose your job--you work too hard."

Noble's voice choked up and her eyes welled with tears as she recounted the exchange. "I used to say, 'You know what--you never know,' " she said, during an interview last week at a Starbucks here. "There are lots of good people who worked hard that lost their jobs."

Noble was laid off in January as an account manager at CDS Global, an Iowa-based subsidiary of the Hearst Corporation, where she worked for two decades. She was the was the sole breadwinner for her family of four. Her two sons are 15 and 17. Her husband, a lawyer, stopped working several years ago after becoming addicted to Oxycontin, a painkiller that a doctor prescribed him for back pain. He's now healthy and looking for work again.

Noble, who is 48, threw herself into the search for a new job. "If there's a resource to be found, I feel like I've found it, " she said. But nearly a year later, she's still looking. She's now unable to pay the mortgage on her house....

"Christmas Festival"

2011-12-07T02:20:00.000-05:00

It's that time of the year....again. And my favorite Christmas tune.

P.S. Because I was frugal with the food at my old job of 30 years, some of the staff thought I was Jewish.

2011-12-04T01:33:00.000-05:00

"Lucy What Happened?"

2011-12-04T01:02:00.001-05:00

It looked like the Dawgs vs. the Tigers would be a good game, meaning we, the Dawgs, were gonna win. For a half it looked that way. Then the dam sprung a leak. 10-7 Dawgs at halftime, but 35 points later, it was LSU 42 and the Dawgs 10.

What a letdown. What a meltdown. Lucy? What happened?

Yes, Cassius Clay beat Sonny Liston.

Yes, Joe Namath shocked the Colts in Super Bowl 3.

Yes, the U.S. Hockey team stunned the Russians circa 1980.

Yes, David slew the Philistine giant. Slingshot vs. brawn.

Yes, N.C. State squeaked out a win vs. Phi Jamma Slamma.

Yes, Buster Douglas ko'd Mike Tyson who was a 40-1 favorite.

Yes, the Kale vs. chicken saga is yet to be determined.

But the Dawgs didn't have a miracle in them. Damn!

"Go Dawgs"

2011-12-03T13:38:00.002-05:00

It's Liston vs. Clay.

It's Tyson vs. Buster Douglas.

It's N.C. State vs. Houston. Jim Valvano comes to mind.

It's the New York Jets with Joe Namath vs. the Baltimore Colts with a young Don Shula as coach.

It's Eat More Kale vs. Eat More Chicken. ( Which makes me not want to eat at this establishment anymore )

It's the US Hockey team circa 1980 vs. the Russians. Unfortunately, it helped formulate the career of Al Michaels. Please get this guy off the air!

It's David vs. Goliath. Slingshot vs. brawn.

It's the Dawgs vs. LSU.

So everybody thinks the Dawgs don't have a chance. That's why they play the game. They play the game on the field not on paper. All the usual cliches.

I have eagerly awaited this game for over a week. May the best team win which is, of course, the Dawgs.

"Barbarella"

2011-12-01T19:19:00.001-05:00

"Upon Further Review"

2011-11-29T01:09:00.001-05:00

Either my memory is failing cos the old grey mare ain't what he used to be, or time slips away, but Sandy Fajitas was the name I gave the legendary food cost man.

8) Chop Beef Sardinia: Invented by Sandy Fajitas ( a legendary character ) back in the day. Mr. Food Cost. Also peruse the fresh kale recipe and leftover garnishes. Cooked and served after garnish pre-requisites have been met. Waste not; want not.**

The rest of the article:

From The Archives: Liner/Recipe Notes ( First Published in November 2004 )

Remember the liner notes on l.p.'s. A little bonus for buying the record. My company's recipes have liner notes at the bottom which help sort out the complexities and nuances. A helping hand, if you will. Some of my favorite notes are republished here from July 2003. Submitted for your approval and perusal. Entitled re: Recipes/Hooterville. And here it is:

As for recipes, my favorite notes:

1) Au Jus: Should be the same color as coffee. ( Is this before or after a treatment of urn cleaner? )

2) Soft Rolls: If one falls on the floor, discreetly retrieve. Look for grit, hair, or any other foreign matter. [ includes critters ] Brush off against clothing or blow hard to remove. May be used for bread pudding if the above fails to remedy.

3) Roast Beef: Cook to an internal temperature of 130 degrees. Blood should ooze when slicing on the serving line.

4) Yellow Cake: Do not insert a toothpick in the middle of the cake to see if it's done. Only at home does this method work. And you are not at home. So whatever you do, don't use a toothpick. They are reserved for our paymasters leaving the establishment. ( a toothpick is a good sign. It means the paymaster enjoyed the food. )

5) Raspberry Argentine: When running this delectable gelatin with the fancy name, be prepared for guests, er, paymasters using your bathroom facilities a bit more during the course of the meal. Contains prunes, the organic laxative. Pink Floyd's 'just another brick in the stalls" would constitute a synchronistic occurance. )

6) Fried Green Tomatoes: Should be 1/4 ripe. ( Who can determine 1/4 ripeness with a green tomato? )

7) Stewed Tomatoes: Buy day old bread from the Piggly Wiggly. Best value. Serve stewed tomatoes when your cook is feeling lethargic and not on top of his game. And you've run out of creative solutions to empty pans. WARNING: May become habit-forming.

8) Chop Beef Sardinia: Invented by Sandy Fajitas ( a legendary character ) back in the day. Mr. Food Cost. Also peruse the fresh kale recipe and leftover garnishes. Cooked and served after garnish pre-requisites have been met. Waste not; want not.

9) Milk: some guests, er....may be lactose intolerant. ( made that up: no one was lactose intolerant, back in the day ) And no one had acid reflux as well.

10) Diamonds and rust: You know what memories can bring; they bring diamonds and rust. Apologies to Joan Baez. Submitted for the bored's perusal. Back on the night train. Ready to crash and burn-I never learn.

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. The postscripts from the above post have been removed by request of me, the author.

** Even used the same cliche/parable.

"Go Dawgs"

2011-11-28T13:30:00.000-05:00

The Dawgs manhandled the Tech Yellow Jackets Saturday afternoon. Wasn't even close, and I was thankful for the little or no intrigue.

The Dawgs return Saturday to battle the Tigers from LSU for the championship of the SEC. Here's hoping the Dawgs win, complicating the BCS standings/title game. Go Dawgs!

"Eat More Kale"

2011-11-28T13:25:00.000-05:00

This is a crazy story! The naked city, eh?

MONTPELIER, Vt. (AP) -- A folk artist expanding his home business built around the words "eat more kale" says he's ready to fight root-to-feather to protect his phrase from what he sees as an assault by Chick-fil-A, which holds the trademark to the phrase "eat mor chikin."

Bo Muller-Moore uses a hand silkscreen machine to apply his phrase, which he calls an expression of the benefits of local agriculture, on T-shirts and sweatshirts. But his effort to protect his business from copycats drew the attention of Chick-fil-A, the Atlanta-based fast-food chain that uses ads with images of cows that can't spell displaying their own phrase on message boards.

In a letter, a lawyer for Chick-fil-A said Muller-Moore's effort to expand the use of his "eat more kale" message "is likely to cause confusion of the public and dilutes the distinctiveness of Chick-fil-A's intellectual property and diminishes its value."

"I'm So Tired"

2011-11-24T11:50:00.000-05:00

The song below describes how I felt after the Thanksgiving festivities were over and done with.

John wrote and sang it on the album, but this is a rare find with Paul doing the vocal. One of the viewers suggested that perhaps he had imbibed. Or inhaled.

"Happy Thanksgiving"

2011-11-23T22:45:00.002-05:00

It's Thanksgiving Eve. How do I feel? Elated! That I no longer have to deal with the Thanksgiving preparation of meals.

No rowdy passive-aggressive guests; no rowdy and passive-aggressive employees aka team members; no phones ringing literally off the hook; no screwups from vendors who ran out of turkeys or dressing or gravy; no rest for the weary. Damn. And to think I put up with this mess for 30 years.

Hell Whole, the establishment where I worked, was always in the top ten in catering sales.

So now I get to reflect on this part of my life, the only thing I can conjure up is: "what was it all about, Alfie?"

Tomorrow I will dine on turkey, dressing, turnip greens, and cranberry sauce. All made the old fashioned way-from scratch.

And tomorrow I will watch the football games from noon til midnight. Ain't life grand? So this is what I've been missing?

Happy Thanksgiving to all. I'm thankful for no more catering. And many other things, too many to mention here tonight.

P.S. Dear Rock, How's the job search going? Hope all is well!

2011-11-23T01:34:00.002-05:00

"No, I haven't heard. The surgeon general says cigarette smoking is bad for your health! What's a surgeon general?"

"We're No Angels"

2011-11-23T01:29:00.001-05:00

"Lengendary UGA broadcaster Larry Munson dies at age 89"

2011-11-21T15:25:00.001-05:00

I was coming home today listening to the radio, when I learned Larry Munson had died. He was the voice of the Ga. Bulldogs for over 40 years. He was 89.

I remember Larry along with Milo Hamilton called the 1966 season for the new Atlanta Braves. His career with the Braves lasted only a year, if memory serves.

And a little known fact. Larry played piano for Tommy Dorsey with old blue eyes doing the crooning.

RIP Larry.

From the ajc article:

As a high school senior in Minneapolis, Munson was, by his own account, a "decent" piano player who loved jazz. He was in class when the phone call came. The Tommy Dorsey Orchestra, in town and scheduled to play 28 shows over the next week, had lost its regular piano player to illness.

"I had no idea how they got my name," Munson once recalled. "I couldn't believe they were interested in me."

Soon, he found himself onstage with one of the most heralded groups of the big band era. The lead singer was a skinny kid from Hoboken, N.J.

"The women went crazy over Frank," said Munson, who played every show with Sinatra for the princely sum of $31 per night. "I had never seen anything like it in my life."

"Tebow lifts Broncos to win vs. Jets"

2011-11-18T00:35:00.001-05:00

I never cared for Tim Tebow. Perhaps because he always throttled the Dawgs in Jacksonville.

I like him now though, because the naysayers said he couldn't make it in the NFL.

His team, the Broncos, are now 4-1 with Tebow as the quarterback. And he's winning without throwing the ball much. Kinda unheard of in the NFL.

Pete Prisco for CBS Sports had this prediction prior to the game:

This is Tim Tebow against Rex Ryan, the spread option against a supposedly good defense. The Jets are coming off a blowout loss to the Patriots at home that saw their defense pushed around. The Broncos have won two consecutive games without throwing the ball. They can't do that against the Jets. Ryan gets his team to bounce back against an offensive-limited team.

And Mike Freeman of CBS ( after the game ):

Now, I'm not saying what Tebow is doing will last. I doubt it will. Eventually the NFL will catch up to this madness of an offense. But it is impossible not to appreciate, enjoy, be stunned, be amazed, at what he is doing....

I'm in shock. The entire league is in shock right now.

And as for me. I'm loving it. At least he's not throttling the Dawgs anymore. I'm on the Tebow bandwagon!

"Dear Prudence"

2011-11-16T22:04:00.001-05:00

Written by John Lennon while the Beatles were hobnobbing with the Maharishi in India. One of my favorite tunes, and this one from the "White Album." Prudence was Mia Farrow's sister who tagged along, but one day she didn't want to participate in the frivolities. Hence, a song was born urging Prudence "to come out to play."

The bass line in this tune is outstanding. I always listen in "Old Betsy," my car, with the balance turned to the side which highlights the bass.

The following video cover agrees with my sentiments:

One of my favorite beatles songs from the White Album. I tried something new recording this.. I recorded directly in to the computer rather than use the built in mic by using my mixer. Played on the Bumble Bass. Thanks for watching!

And this one from another youtube Dear Prudence bass cover:

Yet Another bass line from the Album The Beatles (known as the White Album) featuring the great bass line from Dear Prudence, one of John's greatest songs in my opinion.

P.S. I had a Beatles book-it's gotta be around here somewhere-which extolled the virtues of the bass line in D.P. on the very first page.

"We Didn't Invent the Chicken, Just the Chicken Sandwich"

2011-11-15T18:28:00.001-05:00

I stopped by ye old Chick-Fil-A today and ordered a number 1. Sans fries instead opting for cole slaw. On the way out I noticed its famous slogan: "we didn't invent the chicken blah blah blah, and I thought of the other ad slogans that have willed themselves into our psyche. Here's my take on these ad slogans.

1) "Where's the beef?" Even tho' Wendy's has a big burger, the beef is actually on my grill. With my famous herbs and seasonings and an inch thick ground chuck burger. Yep, that's where the beef is.

2) "11 herbs and spices" Would KFC have been as popular if the Colonel had decided to use 10 herbs and spices instead of eleven in his famous fried chicken. Or maybe a twelfth would have gummed up the works. In summary, 11 made him famous.

3) "You know when it's real." At least they've sped up the singing on the commercial. In the beginning it sounded like an old cafeteria chain's ad which had a wimpy "so fine" at its end. Anyway, what does it mean?-"you know when its real."
Doesn't do a lot for me. I know when it's fake as in "where's the beef." Once again peruse my backdoor grill.

4) "I'm loving it." One of my favorites. Loving what? The long work days for the manager. The scrumptious food? The rowdy guests?

5) "We didn't invent the chicken yadi yadi yadi." A few people out there in the U.S. surely will take issue with that one. Was Truett Cathy the first man on the planet to decide that a chicken on a bun was a good idea? Don't think so.

6) "Have it your way!" Burger King really gummed up the works when they told the populace that they could have it their way. Have you ever been to a drive thru and heard?: "Gimme 2 mcburgers without ketchup; two without pickle; 3 value fries without salt; 2 with salt; three mcburgers add mcsauce and lettuce; 3 cokes one without ice, one regular ice, and one with ten cubes of ice. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!

7) "We made money the old fashioned way, we earned it." Wonder what the wall street protesters think of that one? ( Sorry to veer off the food service theme )

8) "Hardee's: Come on home." I didn't know Hardee's slogan, perhaps that is why they are so far down the food chain, so I looked it up. I do remember going to Charleston, S.C. as a young boy and reveling in the fast food concept ( Hardee's ). Cos I loved me some hamburgers and fries back in the daze. My cousin, Joanie, gummed up the works by ordering a plain burger-nothing on it-and was similar to Truett Cathy as she invented the need for a burger sans condiments.

9) "Papa John's. Better ingredients, better pizza." Perhaps. At least Dominos was spurred into action.

10) "Arby's. Now That Your Tastes Have Grown Up! What are you eating today?"

If yours truly was still in San Fran, I would be enjoying a plastic bottled water transferred into a glass bottle; tons of organic lettuce and bean sprouts; and anything else organic. Perhaps the sloganeer of Arby's hails from the bay.

So where's the beef?; who invented the chicken sandwich?; yadi yadi yadi.

The Beatles and Elvis Presley...Hey Bulldog

2011-11-12T23:12:00.000-05:00

"Nobody wants to play for Tom Coughlin"

2011-11-10T21:05:00.001-05:00

The Sporting News surveyed 111 players around the NFL and asked them a series of questions at the NFL's midpoint of the season. One of those questions was, "Which coach would you least like to play for?"

Not surprisingly, the most popular answers were the mean guys. Here are your top-three vote-getters:

Tom Coughlin, New York Giants - 22
Tony Sparano, Miami Dolphins - 21
Bill Belichick, New England Patriots - 15

Pete Carroll, Todd Haley, Jim Harbaugh, Rex Ryan and Jim Schwartz were next on the list, but none of them had more than six votes. Coughlin, Sparano and Belichick are clearly the meanest teachers in the school....

"PSU trustees fire Paterno, Spanier"

2011-11-10T02:01:00.001-05:00

STATE COLLEGE, Pa. (AP) — Joe Paterno was fired by the Penn State board of trustees Wednesday night despite saying he would retire as coach after the football season ended, brought down by the growing furor over the handling of child sex abuse allegations against an assistant coach.

Penn State President Graham Spanier was also ousted.

``I am disappointed with the board of trustees' decision, but I have to accept it,'' the 84-year-old Paterno said in a statement. ``A tragedy occurred, and we all have to have patience to let the legal process proceed.''

Paterno, the winningest coach in major college football history, learned of the board's decision at the end of a day that began with his decision to finish out his 46th season and leave.

It was not to be....

What were they thinking????

"RIP Smokin' Joe"

2011-11-10T01:19:00.001-05:00

"Rotten Tooth of John Lennon"

2011-11-08T22:13:00.004-05:00

The rotten tooth of former Beatle John Lennon will go on auction next month. The mouldy molar is expected to fetch over $16,000 when it goes under the hammer in the UK on November 5. The nasher was apparently removed by a dentist after becoming cavity-ridden. Lennon then gave the tooth to his beloved housekeeper Dorothy "Dot" Jarlett at his old Kenwood home in, Weybridge, Surrey. Dot gave it to her daughter who kept it in her home in Canada for 40 years, say the auctioneers. Dot's son Barry Jarlett, said that his 90-year-old mother conceded that it was finally the right time to pass it on to a fan rather than run the risk of it getting lost. Omega auction house is taking care of the sale. Pictured: Tooth that is said to have once belonged to John Lennon

P.S. The tooth was sold for #31,000 to a dentist.

P.S.S. Sugar plum fairies; sugar plum fairies. And one of the best songs ever! { the Anthology version }

"a-cheat-sheet-on-tipping-do-s-and-don-ts"

2011-11-08T20:40:00.000-05:00

The size of a restaurant gratuity depends on how well you are served, including whether your order is correct or if your server checks on you after you receive your food, says Hoffman. Don't base your tip on the food's taste; the server has no control over it.

Hoffman's tipping guidelines:

* Restaurant wait staff: 13 percent to 20 percent of the bill.

When your party stays through the time that the restaurant could seat and serve others, tip twice the amount. Hoffman says you should always leave a minimal tip, even with abysmal service. Tips are generally shared by the restaurant's workers.

* Takeout: Nothing is necessary. But if you receive some service, like a waiter packaging your food, then tip $1 to $2 or up to 10 percent. For sushi, tip 10 percent for its preparation, Hoffman says.
* Tip jars at fast-food counters: Nothing required; it's your call.

2011-11-06T00:32:00.000-04:00

"Thrilla in Manilla"

2011-11-05T21:13:00.001-04:00

Boxing great Joe Frazier in serious condition with liver cancer.

Me and my friend, Paul Brooks, went to see this fight in Athens, Ga. Pay per view. We were part of a big crowd, a beer guzzling crowd. And me and Paul had our share of tall boys. The beers were 48 oz. ( Maybe time exaggerates but they were the biggest cups I've ever drunk out of ). And we swilled more than a few. And we cheered for Muhammed Ali.

It's a sad story but just goes to show death's inevitability. And you can't take it with you.

"Dos Equis"

2011-11-03T22:19:00.000-04:00

LSU vs. Bama this Saturday. 1 vs. 2. Go Bama. I don't like LSU. And Go Dawgs!

The Crawling Hand"

2011-11-03T22:15:00.001-04:00

"You Can't Do That!"

2011-11-03T22:15:00.000-04:00

This is my second posting of this song. But it bears repeating.

2011-11-02T22:16:00.000-04:00

"Paul McCartney is Dead....1967"

2011-11-02T22:15:00.000-04:00

This is too funny! And here's another clue for you all-the walrus was Paul!

"Epitaphs"

2011-11-02T21:03:00.003-04:00

1) Dean Martin: "Everybody loves somebody sometime."

2) Edar Allan Poe "Quoth the raven nevermore."

3) Merv Griffin: "I will not be right back after this message."

4) Rodney Dangerfield: "There goes the neighborhood."

More epitaphs can be seen at comcast.

I was wondering what a good epitaph for me would be. There are many to choose from:

1) How long on that fried chicken?

2) Farewell and adieu

3) Gimme shelter

4) I am the eggman.

5) "All the world's a stage." Scratch that one. Seems I've heard that one before.

6) He wrote forays into the infantile.

7) Hello, goodbye.

8) Dear Cat....

9) You may now diembark the night train cos v.c. has.

10) How long on white meat?

2011-10-31T20:59:00.000-04:00

"Happy Halloween"

2011-10-31T20:55:00.000-04:00

The following link comes courtesy of my old pal, ibbq4you2. His moniker suggests he likes to bbq, eh?

You need the sound!

TIC-TAC-TOE

YOU GOTTA TRY THIS AT LEAST ONCE!!!!!
IT'S GREAT.

Click HERE

"Them"

2011-10-30T20:40:00.002-04:00

Another classic b/w monster movie from the 50's. Dare I say it: they don't make 'em like this anymore.

The creature in the background is supposed to be a giant ant. And it stars James Arness but not as a carrot from outer space. He plays the love interest of the woman scientist pictured in the foreground.

James was a big galoot. At least 6'8". So perfect for playing an alien and Marshal Dillon.

"Them" was on TCM today. Thank goodness for Ted Turner!

"Dr. No"

2011-10-28T17:15:00.001-04:00

"Collage au Foils"

2011-10-28T01:48:00.002-04:00

2011-10-28T01:41:00.000-04:00

"Some Like it Hot"

2011-10-28T01:24:00.000-04:00

"Turn Out the Lights; The Party's Over?"

2011-10-26T19:42:00.002-04:00

The World Series has been cancelled tonight, and I was all abuzz with anticipation. Were the Rangers gonna win its first title, or was there still magic in Tony LaRussa's team?

Chaz Bono was unceremoniously booted off "DWTS's." And one of the judges referred to Chaz as a big penguin or something like that. Chaz was miffed about the comment and has the web-or parts of it, anyway-all abuzz ( there's that word again ).

Golden Pond has my email address as being vietnamcatfish@aol.com. I don't know how to change it and have forgotten the password. So any email correspondence just won't happen.

Mark Richt, the football coach of the Dawgs is on the hot seat. It's being said that he must win the Florida game this weekend or it's turn out the lights; the party's over. And I've always been puzzled about his last name. Is the "t" silent or do you pronounce it? Rick or Richt? Anyway, GO DAWGS in Jacksonville in what they call the largest outdoor cocktail party.

Your film critic went to see "The Thing" this past weekend. It's the second remake. Sorry-gotta go with the original. John Carpenter's first remake is better too. Wasn't scared by the cgi effects. Give me Ray Harryhausen any day of the week.

Seems Netflix has lost 800,000 customers since it raised prices and separated the streaming videos from the dvd's. And, of course, the stock price is down....way down. The public is fickle and wants something for nothing. Ah, reminds me of a time long long gone. I was always nervous when it came to raising prices at the old cafeteria chain. Too many regulars eager to pounce on yours truly.

"What do you mean the "milly" went up ten cents? Oh, the humanity!" And the "super-mealy" went up a quarter? I remember when it costs a dollar two ninety nine!"

So the World Series is cancelled for tonight. What's a sports fan to do? Well. there's a Big 10 showdown between two powerhouses: Pitt and Conn. So, yes, I'm ready for some football! Go DAWGS! Can't wait-all abuzz here.

"They Call Him the StreaK"

2011-10-25T01:42:00.000-04:00

Shades of Ray Stevens.

WALNUT CREEK, Calif. (AP)—The Pac-12 Conference suspended 10 players Friday for their involvement in a fight that occurred during the first half of the UCLA-Arizona football game Thursday night.

"The Conference is extremely disappointed in the actions of the student-athletes involved in this incident," Commissioner Larry Scott said in a statement. "It is unacceptable behavior and violated Conference rules, as well as NCAA fighting rules.
"I have taken these actions today because it is imperative that we hold our student-athletes and coaches to the highest standards of sportsmanship."

ut the players got off light compared to the Arizona student whose sudden emergence from the stands dressed as an official set the chaos into motion. In addition to being tackled, cuffed and paraded off the field in his skivvies in front of halftime entertainers decked out in full 19th Century Mexican regalia, the streaker was also booked on a felony charge:

Jace Michael Lankow, 22, was arrested on charges of criminal impersonation and was booked into Pima County jail Thursday night after his televised streaking at Arizona Stadium. Lankow was released Friday, the jail said.
[…]
The criminal impersonation charge is a Class 6 felony. According to Arizona Revised Statutes, the felony can be dropped down to a Class 1 misdemeanor based on the court's review of the defendant's character and history and if the crime was not a dangerous offense.

"Follow that Dream"

2011-10-25T00:03:00.001-04:00

Tatum O'Neal's mom is in this one. In fact, it's the lady he's singing the tune to.

"Peter Cushing"

2011-10-22T16:26:00.000-04:00

Character actor extraordinaire Peter Cushing. I remember seeing him in countless movies as a youngster. "Hound of the Baskervilles" in which he played Sherlock Holmes. And in Mummy and vampire movies. He was in "Star Wars" as well, playing one of the many forces of the dark side. Pun unintended!

"Hail to Thee Old Ivy League"

2011-10-22T14:13:00.000-04:00

A good song from Roustabout. Which starred Barbara Stanwyck and Leif Erickson. And as the banker, Dabs Greer.

Dabs played the old Tom Hanks character in "The Green Mile."

"Fan in Vegas bet Cardinals to win World Series at 999-to-1 odds"

2011-10-22T13:33:00.000-04:00

Back on Sept. 12, when the St. Louis Cardinals trailed the National League wild card by 4 1/2 games with 15 to play in the season, some slaphappy fan at the MGM sports book in Las Vegas put down $500 of faith in his team.

What were the odds that the Cardinals were going to come back from the brink and make something of themselves and make this dude some cash? Well, not only can we tell you the odds, but we can also tell you what the payoff is.

The sap true believer, Deadspin reports, wagered $250 at 500-to-1 odds that Team Fredbird would take the NL pennant, along with another $250 — at 999-to-1 odds — that the Cardinals would win the World Series.

Well, the fella (a St. Louisan, Deadspin says) is already $125,000 richer after the Cards upset the Phillies and Brewers in the NL playoffs, and he's three more St. Louis victories away from winning $250,000. Sounds great, doesn't it, cashing in on the old hometown team? But there's a downside....

"Surfer Narrowly Escapes as Great White Bites Through Surfboard"

2011-10-22T12:57:00.000-04:00

What has been described as a large great white shark tore a massive chunk from a surfboard off northern Oregon on Thursday -- while the terror-stricken surfer was sitting on the board.

Bobby Gumm, a chef in the coastal community of Newport, was about 600 yards off South Beach when a shark estimated to measure 16 feet seemingly mistook the board for a meal. It first brushed Gumm's leg and then bit ferociously into the front of his board, lifting the board and surfer from the water....

"I saw the water churning up like there was a bunch of piranhas. All of a sudden I saw a dorsal fin that was at least two foot in length high and as I saw it I saw the shark actually lift my friend up with the board and everything, it looked like an old geyser or something just lifted him out of the water about 10 feet."

"Stalag 17"

2011-10-21T00:45:00.000-04:00

Peter Graves played the Nazi spy in Stalag 17. And later starred in "Fury" and "Mission Impossible." And as a pilot in "Airplane."

"They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used to"

2011-10-21T00:42:00.001-04:00

"Bill Mazeroski"

2011-10-21T00:41:00.000-04:00

"Play It Again, Sam"

2011-10-21T00:40:00.000-04:00

2011-10-20T14:50:00.000-04:00

"John Landis Explores Evolution of Monsters in the Movies"

2011-10-20T00:47:00.001-04:00

John Landis has been a horror movie luminary ever since he directed An American Werewolf in London in 1981. In the decades since then, he's seen monsters evolve from elaborate works of costume and make-up magic to elaborate works of CGI.

In his new book Monsters in the Movies, out Monday, Landis explores a century of cinematic creatures, from the currently hot vampires and zombies to apes, genetic mutants, mad scientists, psychos and scary children. Scanning through the book, it's hard not to be taken by the evolution of how Hollywood monsters are created, from rudimentary make-up tricks to really slick technical feats....

To get a taste of the metamorphosis of movie monsters, Wired.com asked Landis to tell us about some of the best beasts in history. See what he had to say in the gallery above. (Spoiler Alert: He gets the ghoul.)

P.S. Some are listed below. And some of my all time favs.

"The Mummy's Ghost"

2011-10-20T00:41:00.001-04:00

The Mummy's Ghost (1944)

Director: Reginald Le Borg

Landis says: "The mummy movies are a direct result of the opening of King Tut's tomb, which in the 1920s was such a cultural event. By the time of The Mummy's Ghost, the mummy is no longer the lead character. It's usually an evil priest and the mummy's just kind of a killing machine. What's frightening about the mummy at this stage, what's scary is that they don't stop. They're relentless."